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1 Salutations. Sorry for the length of time it was between stories . .
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2 . actually, no, I'm not too sure if I am. I got three E-mails
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3 regarding Toujours. One asked me when the next chapter was coming
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4 out, another condemned my actions, and a third was a fiction idea. A
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5 few E-mails here and there that tell me you enjoy my reading, or hate
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6 it, and the reasons why would be very helpful for not only better
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7 stories but my actual will to write them. Address is the same if you
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8 want to E-Mail me: Saturn_Knight@hotmail.com . Anyhow, this is the
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9 idea of the person who E-mailed me, and thus dedicated to her. Enjoy,
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10 Maggie.
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11
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12 Yet another overcast, cloudy day in Japan. The wind ripped through
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13 the trees, scattering leaves across the lush green grass of the park
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14 where both Hotaru and Chibi-Usa were sitting. It was on the cooler
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15 side, and neither girl had anything warmer than a heavy sweater,
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16 though neither wanted to move from their location. However, a stray
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17 gust of wind caught Hotaru off guard, causing her to shiver and pull
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18 her arms tighter around herself.
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19 "Are you cold?" Chibi-Usa asked, worried that her friend might
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20 catch a chill and become sick. Hotaru only had time to nod once
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21 before she was moved, being rearranged by Chibi-Usa . "Here, what if
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22 I sit like..." Hotaru's back was moved against the other girl's chest
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23 and a set of arms found their way around her body, clasping around
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24 her stomach. Chibi felt a little odd with the position, thinking she
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25 was behaving too much like her mother and Mamoru, but she wanted to
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26 keep her friend warm. Hotaru smiled over her shoulder, her eyes have
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27 closed with sleep, before she settled into her friend's body,
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28 thinking the position was all too right.
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29 "Tired too huh?" The pink haired girl asked, adjusting her body so
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30 that Hotaru's shoulder didn't hit her directly in the rib. Once more,
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31 the quiet girl nodded, yawning as if to accentuate Chibi's point
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32 before growing still. "Yeah, sleep on me." Chibi mumbled with a smile
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33 on her face, "You're like just like Artemis." Hotaru didn't rise a
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34 reply, only the quiet, steady sound of her breathing was heard in the
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35 still of the park evening. The smaller girl's mind began to wander,
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36 looking her friend over thoughtfully before coming to an unusual
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37 conclusion, 全he trusts me enough to sleep...and with her that's a
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38 pretty big thing.' Chibi thought, trying to hold as still as possible
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39 though her body tried to make her fidget. 選've only seen her sleep
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40 in bed at home, in my room on the floor, or with Puu, but...' Her
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41 tiny, soft hand brushed some of Hotaru's hair from in front of her
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42 eyes, 鮮ot me...not like this.'
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43 A mix of emotions began to work their way through Chibi's system:
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44 happiness, flattery, excitement, but also uncertainty and doubt.
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45 閃aybe she's just to exhausted...I made her run around a lot today.'
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46 She thought to herself, pursing her lips as she again commanded her
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47 body to remain still. 全he's probably just too tired to stay
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48 awake...but....maybe she trusts me? Of course she trusts me, she's my
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49 best friend! She tells me things she'd never tell anyone
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50 else...but...' Chibi shook her head quickly to clear her thoughts,
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51 the ends of her hair slapping her in the face. The movement roused
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52 Hotaru, who took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
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53 "I fell asleep..." she thought verbally, sitting up, putting a hand
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54 to her face and rubbing the open palm down her cheek. "I'm sorry."
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55 Hotaru spoke aloud and turned to face Chibi, her voice sounding
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56 groggy and disconnected. The pink haired girl glanced away, looking
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57 hurt. 選t was an accident...' She stood up, brushing her jeans off,
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58 全he didn't do it because she trusted me.' This quick movement
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59 startled Hotaru, who fell back onto her ankles and looked up at Chibi
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60 questioningly.
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61 "Let's go home." The smaller girl said with a slight snip in her
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62 voice that made Hotaru wonder what she did wrong. 全he's.....not mad
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63 that I fell asleep on her, is she?' Hotaru thought as she got to her
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64 feet and balanced herself from the uneasy equilibrium of someone who
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65 just woke. Putting a hand on Chibi's shoulder to keep herself
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66 upright, Hotaru got a sharp look and quickly withdrew it. 全he's mad
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67 at me,' the black haired girl thought, looking to her feet and
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68 wrapping her arms around herself. 全he's upset that I fell asleep on
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69 her...maybe I should just go home for the night...' "I'm really
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70 sorry, Chibi-Usa....I swear."
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71 "I know you are." Chibi answered, thinking 禅hat's why it hurts...'
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72 "Come on," and she started in the direction back to Usagi's house not
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73 waiting to see if Hotaru followed.
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74 選'm sorry.....' Hotaru thought, hanging her head and beginning to
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75 follow after her friend who had a considerable lead on her, 選 didn't
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76 mean to assume too much trust...'
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77
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78 Back at the Tsukino residence, both girls sat on the floor in
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79 Chibi's room in complete silence. The blatherings of Usagi were heard
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80 through the walls as she yakked away on the phone to one of her
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81 friends. "When she's done, I'll call Michi-Mama and go home." Hotaru
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82 said, not looking at Chibi, in a timid, almost frightened voice.
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83 塑ou're mad at me and I'm afraid I'm going to ruin things if I
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84 stay...'
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85 "If you want to," Chibi replied, picking up a manga that was on the
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86 table next to her and started flipping through the pages. 全he's that
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87 upset with herself....she can't trust me anymore? We used to sleep
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88 over all the time, why is it different now?' Drawings of various
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89 characters flew by her as she furiously turned the pages, 糎as it
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90 because I was holding onto her?' Hotaru noticed Chibi's obviously
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91 riled demeanor and heaved a sigh, thinking 全he can't wait for me to
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92 leave...I'm sorry! I didn't mean to assume!'
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93 Neither said a word after that, and Usagi hadn't closed her mouth
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94 for a full 10 minutes. Hotaru hugged her legs to her chest, her chin
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95 resting on her tight-covered knees with her eyes cast down onto the
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96 floor. She was thinking, which was always a dangerous thing,
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97 especially in the emotional state she was in now. Hotaru remembered
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98 all the fun times she and Chibi-Usa had in the past: parties, sleep
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99 overs, playing at the park, or even just sitting and spilling their
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100 hearts out to each other. 羨ll of that's over now...' The silence
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101 senshi told herself, 腺ecause you let yourself fall asleep when she
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102 was holding you....now she's going to know how you feel, and she's
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103 going to tell you to go away because she's in love with HIM.'
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104 Chibi glanced at her friend, a little concerned. Even if Hotaru
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105 wasn't speaking aloud, she couldn't hide her ragged breathing and how
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106 her arms clutched her legs tighter with every passing second. 全he's
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107 that mad at me? Oh Hotaru, don't hate me... I just wanted to make you
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108 comfortable...' Hotaru let out a swift, uneven breath as she clutched
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109 her legs tight enough to make her knees crack. 前h gods, no... don't
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110 take it out on yourself... I better say something...' "Puu said that
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111 Helios was asking about me again." Chibi remarked, saying the first
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112 thing that came to her head, but instantly wondered if it was the
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113 right thing to do.
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114 Hotaru gave Chibi a look as if she'd just struck her, her mouth
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115 hanging open for a fraction of a second before she caught herself,
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116 only nodding in response. 全he's telling me about HIM...' Hotaru
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117 thought, mentally hissing the last word, not even wanting to think
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118 his name. 全he's doing it because she wants me to know she's still in
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119 love with him, and that thing at the park was just a friendly
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120 thing...' She swallowed hard and rested her forehead on her knees
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121 now, looking down at the floor, her face hidden.
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122 選'll never be able to be anything more than a friend to her. She's
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123 always going to see me as just a friend. No matter what I do...god,
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124 don't start here, you're only going to embarrass yourself.' But she
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125 couldn't hold it in anymore, and the tears started to drip from her
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126 eyes, quickly being absorbed into her tights. Hotaru daren't make a
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127 sound.
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128 "I want to go back and see him soon," Chibi said, looking out the
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129 window, only trying to make Hotaru happy. She figured that the reason
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130 Hotaru was so upset was that they were so physically close to each
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131 other and she'd gotten uncomfortable. "I wonder what our wedding is
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132 going to be like?" The pink haired girl mused aloud, closing her eyes
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133 to picture the event. "I want lots of flowers, and music, and
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134 everyone's going to be invited." She paused to consider something,
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135 tilting her head, "And I can have a really big cake, cus I know
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136 Usagi's going to be a pig and eat it all."
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137 Hotaru started to shake, 糎hy is she doing this to me?' the tears
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138 were flowing harder now and she had to give everything she had to
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139 avoid sobbing loudly and running out of the room. 選s she trying to
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140 hurt me? I didn't think she'd do that...did I make her that mad? Oh,
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141 Chibi don't do this to me...please!' But, she only nodded, fighting
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142 to keep her sniffles silent as she listened to her friend continue.
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143 "Oh, and a really big dress. I want one that's pink and white with
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144 little yellow bunnies on the veil, so he has to laugh when he kisses
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145 me." Chibi smiled faintly at the thought, but only for effect. Her
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146 heart wasn't in it. She was only saying what she thought Hotaru
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147 wanted to hear, and looking out the window, she didn't notice that
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148 the black haired girl cringed and tightened her hands into fists at
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149 the mention of a kiss. Chibi-Usa continued, "Then comes the
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150 honeymoon...where do you think he and I should go?"
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151 Hotaru thought for a moment, knowing full well where she wanted to
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152 send Helios, but only shrugged her shoulders. She would be
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153 nice....she had to be, Chibi loved him, and she had no choice but to
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154 accept that. Her friend was happy with this guy, and she would be
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155 happy for her. Even if it killed her.
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156 "I want somewhere romantic..." Chibi-Usa said, making her best
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157 effort to sound wistful, and dreamy, "Because...you know, honey moon
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158 stuff." That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Hotaru simply
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159 couldn't take it any more. Giving in to her body's desires, she
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160 simply let go and allowed herself to sob. It terrified Chjbi; it
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161 didn't seem human, so much agony was reserved for the damned. It was
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162 followed by a short, but loud scream as Hotaru slammed her fist into
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163 the floor in frustration with herself and the situation. A soft,
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164 sickening cracking sound issued from the blow, but it was completely
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165 disregarded. "Hotaru....?" Chibi asked carefully, as a tear soaked
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166 face raised from to look upon her. Hotaru's eyes were bloodshot, and
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167 her skin was discolored from the tears and the dirt that was on the
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168 knees of her tights from falling earlier.
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169 "What, Chibi-Usa? What?" Hotaru managed between sobs, angry, but
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170 not at her friend. "Want advice on what you should do with HIM!?"
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171 That scared Chibi-Usa, who had frightening flash backs of Mistress 9,
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172 and the sheer destructive nature that Hotaru possessed. Unable to
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173 control herself, Hotaru bawled loudly, though Usagi's faint
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174 conversation continued in the background. "I can't take it
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175 anymore....I can't....I just can't!"
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176 "Take what Hotaru!? You've been mean to me ever since the park! You
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177 get mad at me cus you fall asleep, and then tell me that you didn't
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178 mean to! You didn't know how happy it made me for you to show how
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179 much you trusted me!" Chibi was just as agitated as Hotaru now, and
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180 was speaking before she thought. 前h god, that's only going to make
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181 her mad...please don't hurt yourself anymore... Please....'
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182 "What?! You got mad and ran away when I told you I was sorry! I
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183 just was so comfortable with you, and so happy to be around you that
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184 I fell asleep! I said I was sorry!" Hotaru was too worked up to grasp
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185 the situation, normally very keen on things, she simply couldn't see
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186 where their messages got mixed up. "I didn't mean to!"
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187 "You....trusted me?" Chibi's voice dropped from a yell to a
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188 whisper. 選t wasn't a mistake...oh gods what have I done?!'
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189 "Hotaru...oh no, no, no...gods no..." she approached the black haired
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190 girl who took a step back and stood defensively to the advancement.
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191 Her hand was already bruised a hideous, deep purple that marred her
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192 alabaster perfection. 前h Hotaru what have I done to you?! But....why
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193 did you get so mad? I have to know....' Swallowing hard, Chibi asked
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194 the question that could make, or break their friendship, "Why did you
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195 get so mad when I mention Helios?"
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196 "Why...?" Hotaru asked, shaking her head, "Why...? Because you talk
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197 about him like he's some kind of god! You tell me all the time about
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198 how much you miss him, or how much you want to go back to see him."
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199 Ignoring the pain that started to throb in her fingers, Hotaru
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200 continued. "I'm jealous, Chibi-Usa. JEALOUS! I'm not perfect!"
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201 "Jealous of what?! You're my best friend, I tell you EVERYTHING! I
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202 tell you things I could never tell him!" Chibi shouted back, now
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203 aggravated by Hotaru's unneeded jealousy. "Why are you so upset?!"
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204 "Because I'm in love with you, that's why!" Hotaru yelled at Chibi
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205 before she could even realize what she'd said. Both of them stood in
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206 shock, Chibi-Usa's mouth dropping open as she stared at her friend
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207 who suddenly grew sheepish, turning away as she mumbled "Because I'm
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208 in love with you...I'm sorry, I'll go." Hotaru made a quick move for
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209 the exit, but Chibi was much faster than she and grabbed onto her
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210 injured arm, getting a short yelp of pain from Hotaru.
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211 "I'm sorry....I didn't mean to....just don't go, please?
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212 Stay....let me get you some ice for that hand...stay here, ok?
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213 Promise me you'll stay here at least until I get back from the
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214 kitchen." Chibi looked at the now quiet Hotaru who only nodded and
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215 sat down on the bed, holding her bruised hand gingerly. Chibi-Usa ran
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216 from her room, nearly colliding with Usagi who was in the kitchen,
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217 still talking, and fixing herself a snack.
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218 "What's all the yellin' about?" Usagi asked her daughter, who was
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219 already filling a bag full of ice. Her mouth was packed with
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220 chocolate donut, a glass of milk in her hand, and the phone cradled
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221 against her shoulder. "And what's with the ice?"
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222 "God you're nosy," Chibi said, closing the freezer and putting the
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223 ice bag into a clean dish towel so it wouldn't freeze Hotaru's hand,
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224 "Hotaru hurt herself and I'm getting her ice. Why are you stuffing
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225 your face again?"
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226 "Cus I'm hungry, duh." Usagi said over another bite of donut,
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227 mumbling something incoherent to the person on the other end of the
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228 phone before walking out of the kitchen and back to her room.
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229 "You're always hungry..." The pink haired girl grumbled while she
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230 hurried back to her room to find Hotaru still seated on the bed, her
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231 tear stained face looking towards the floor. "Here you go.." Chibi
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232 offered the ice carefully to Hotaru who took it and applied it to her
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233 injury with a soft whine. "I'm sorry....Hotaru, really. I was only
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234 mad cus I thought you were upset that you fell asleep on me...that
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235 you were mad at yourself for accidently doing that...that you didn't
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236 trust me."
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237 "I trust you..." Hotaru whispered quietly with a shake of her head,
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238 "Otherwise I wouldn't have done that...I thought you were mad at me
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239 for thinking I could be that way with you..." She sighed, adjusting
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240 the ice to not put pressure on the injury, "And...I guess after I
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241 told you what I did, you don't want to see me anymore. You're
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242 supposed to be with hi-" she caught herself, and released a
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243 controlled breath, "With Helios... I won't get in the way..."
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244 "I...don't know if I want to be with him anymore." Chibi confessed,
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245 looking desperately at her friend, "It just feels so fake when I'm
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rlm@0
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246 with him, like I have to be someone I'm not. It didn't used to be
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rlm@0
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247 like that, I used to be able to talk with him for hours, and just
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rlm@0
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248 enjoy being next to him...." Her red irises grew larger as she came
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rlm@0
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249 to a realization, "Just....like I am with you."
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rlm@0
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250 "You....you mean that?" Hotaru asked carefully, being certain not
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rlm@0
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251 to get her hopes up for nothing, demanding that she stay in control
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rlm@0
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252 of her body. Chibi only nodded and placed a hand on Hotaru's cheek.
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rlm@0
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253 The two looked into each other's eyes, Chibi-Usa's hand cupping her
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rlm@0
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254 friend's face comfortingly.
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rlm@0
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255 "You really scared me, Hotaru...I've never seen you like that." Usa
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rlm@0
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256 began, gently touching the shoulder of Hotaru's injured arm, "I don't
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rlm@0
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257 want you to hurt...You should have hit me, I was the one being the
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rlm@0
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258 jerk..."
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rlm@0
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259 "No..." The black haired girl shook her head, "I could never
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rlm@0
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260 purposely hurt you like that. You know I care about you too much...I
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rlm@0
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261 love you, Chibi..." She didn't expect an answer back, and was content
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rlm@0
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262 with just saying it to let her friend know how she truly and honestly
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rlm@0
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263 felt. "I'm going to have trouble explaining my hand to my parents,"
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rlm@0
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264 Hotaru quickly changed the subject, "They're going to worry abo-" She
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rlm@0
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265 was quickly silenced by Chibi-Usa who placed a single, slender digit
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rlm@0
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266 over her lips.
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rlm@0
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267 "I love you too Hotaru..."
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rlm@0
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268
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rlm@0
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269
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