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     1.4 +Salutations. Sorry for the length of time it was between stories . .
     1.5 +. actually, no,  I'm not too sure if I am. I got three E-mails
     1.6 +regarding Toujours. One asked me when the next chapter was coming
     1.7 +out, another condemned my actions, and a third was a fiction idea. A
     1.8 +few E-mails here and there that tell me you enjoy my reading, or hate
     1.9 +it, and the reasons why would be very helpful for not only better
    1.10 +stories but my actual will to write them. Address is the same if you
    1.11 +want to E-Mail me: Saturn_Knight@hotmail.com . Anyhow, this is the
    1.12 +idea of the person who E-mailed me, and thus dedicated to her. Enjoy,
    1.13 +Maggie.
    1.14 +
    1.15 +	Yet another overcast, cloudy day in Japan. The wind ripped through
    1.16 +the trees, scattering leaves across the lush green grass of the park
    1.17 +where both Hotaru and Chibi-Usa were sitting. It was on the cooler
    1.18 +side, and neither girl had anything warmer than a heavy sweater,
    1.19 +though neither wanted to move from their location. However, a stray
    1.20 +gust of wind caught Hotaru off guard, causing her to shiver and pull
    1.21 +her arms tighter around herself.
    1.22 +	"Are you cold?" Chibi-Usa asked, worried that her friend might
    1.23 +catch a chill and become sick. Hotaru only had time to nod once
    1.24 +before she was moved, being rearranged by Chibi-Usa .  "Here, what if
    1.25 +I sit like..." Hotaru's back was moved against the other girl's chest
    1.26 +and a set of  arms found their way around her body, clasping around
    1.27 +her stomach. Chibi felt a little odd with the position, thinking she
    1.28 +was behaving too much like her mother and Mamoru, but she wanted to
    1.29 +keep her friend warm. Hotaru smiled over her shoulder, her eyes have
    1.30 +closed with sleep, before she settled into her friend's body,
    1.31 +thinking the position was all too right.
    1.32 +	"Tired too huh?" The pink haired girl asked, adjusting her body so
    1.33 +that Hotaru's shoulder didn't hit her directly in the rib. Once more,
    1.34 +the quiet girl nodded, yawning as if to accentuate Chibi's point
    1.35 +before growing still. "Yeah, sleep on me." Chibi mumbled with a smile
    1.36 +on her face, "You're like just like Artemis." Hotaru didn't rise a
    1.37 +reply, only the quiet, steady sound of her breathing was heard in the
    1.38 +still of the park evening. The smaller girl's mind began to wander,
    1.39 +looking her friend over thoughtfully before coming to an unusual
    1.40 +conclusion, 全he trusts me enough to sleep...and with her that's a
    1.41 +pretty big thing.' Chibi thought, trying to hold as still as possible
    1.42 +though her body tried to make her fidget. 選've only seen her sleep
    1.43 +in bed at home, in my room on the floor, or with Puu, but...' Her
    1.44 +tiny, soft hand brushed some of Hotaru's hair from in front of her
    1.45 +eyes, 鮮ot me...not like this.'
    1.46 +	A mix of emotions began to work their way through Chibi's system:
    1.47 +happiness, flattery, excitement, but also uncertainty and doubt.
    1.48 +閃aybe she's just to exhausted...I made her run around a lot today.'
    1.49 +She thought to herself, pursing her lips as she again commanded her
    1.50 +body to remain still. 全he's probably just too tired to stay
    1.51 +awake...but....maybe she trusts me? Of course she trusts me, she's my
    1.52 +best friend! She tells me things she'd never tell anyone
    1.53 +else...but...' Chibi shook her head quickly to clear her thoughts,
    1.54 +the ends of her hair slapping her in the face. The movement roused
    1.55 +Hotaru, who took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
    1.56 +	"I fell asleep..." she thought verbally, sitting up, putting a hand
    1.57 +to her face and rubbing the open palm down her cheek. "I'm sorry."
    1.58 +Hotaru spoke aloud and turned to face Chibi, her voice sounding
    1.59 +groggy and disconnected. The pink haired girl glanced away, looking
    1.60 +hurt. 選t was an accident...' She stood up, brushing her jeans off,
    1.61 +全he didn't do it because she trusted me.' This quick movement
    1.62 +startled Hotaru, who fell back onto her ankles and looked up at Chibi
    1.63 +questioningly.
    1.64 +	"Let's go home." The smaller girl said with a slight snip in her
    1.65 +voice that made Hotaru wonder what she did wrong. 全he's.....not mad
    1.66 +that I fell asleep on her, is she?' Hotaru thought as she got to her
    1.67 +feet and balanced herself from the uneasy equilibrium of someone who
    1.68 +just woke. Putting a hand on Chibi's shoulder to keep herself
    1.69 +upright, Hotaru got a sharp look and quickly withdrew it. 全he's mad
    1.70 +at me,' the black haired girl thought, looking to her feet and
    1.71 +wrapping her arms around herself. 全he's upset that I fell asleep on
    1.72 +her...maybe I should just go home for the night...' "I'm really
    1.73 +sorry, Chibi-Usa....I swear."
    1.74 +	"I know you are." Chibi answered, thinking 禅hat's why it hurts...'
    1.75 +"Come on," and she started in the direction back to Usagi's house not
    1.76 +waiting to see if Hotaru followed.
    1.77 +	選'm sorry.....' Hotaru thought, hanging her head and beginning to
    1.78 +follow after her friend who had a considerable lead on her, 選 didn't
    1.79 +mean to assume too much trust...'
    1.80 +
    1.81 +	Back at the Tsukino residence, both girls sat on the floor in
    1.82 +Chibi's room in complete silence. The blatherings of Usagi were heard
    1.83 +through the walls as she yakked away on the phone to one of her
    1.84 +friends. "When she's done, I'll call Michi-Mama and go home." Hotaru
    1.85 +said, not looking at Chibi, in a timid, almost frightened voice.
    1.86 +塑ou're mad at me and I'm afraid I'm going to ruin things if I
    1.87 +stay...'
    1.88 +	"If you want to," Chibi replied, picking up a manga that was on the
    1.89 +table next to her and started flipping through the pages. 全he's that
    1.90 +upset with herself....she can't trust me anymore? We used to sleep
    1.91 +over all the time, why is it different now?' Drawings of various
    1.92 +characters flew by her as she furiously turned the pages, 糎as it
    1.93 +because I was holding onto her?' Hotaru noticed Chibi's obviously
    1.94 +riled demeanor and heaved a sigh, thinking 全he can't wait for me to
    1.95 +leave...I'm sorry! I didn't mean to assume!'
    1.96 +	Neither said a word after that, and Usagi hadn't closed her mouth
    1.97 +for a full 10 minutes. Hotaru hugged her legs to her chest, her chin
    1.98 +resting on her tight-covered knees with her eyes cast down onto the
    1.99 +floor. She was thinking, which was always a dangerous thing,
   1.100 +especially in the emotional state she was in now. Hotaru remembered
   1.101 +all the fun times she and Chibi-Usa had in the past: parties, sleep
   1.102 +overs, playing at the park, or even just sitting and spilling their
   1.103 +hearts out to each other. 羨ll of that's over now...' The silence
   1.104 +senshi told herself, 腺ecause you let yourself fall asleep when she
   1.105 +was holding you....now she's going to know how you feel, and she's
   1.106 +going to tell you to go away because she's in love with HIM.'
   1.107 +	Chibi glanced at her friend, a little concerned. Even if Hotaru
   1.108 +wasn't speaking aloud, she couldn't hide her ragged breathing and how
   1.109 +her arms clutched her legs tighter with every passing second. 全he's
   1.110 +that mad at me? Oh Hotaru, don't hate me... I just wanted to make you
   1.111 +comfortable...' Hotaru let out a swift, uneven breath as she clutched
   1.112 +her legs tight enough to make her knees crack. 前h gods, no... don't
   1.113 +take it out on yourself... I better say something...' "Puu said that
   1.114 +Helios was asking about me again." Chibi remarked, saying the first
   1.115 +thing that came to her head, but instantly wondered if it was the
   1.116 +right thing to do.
   1.117 +	Hotaru gave Chibi a look as if she'd just struck her, her mouth
   1.118 +hanging open for a fraction of a second before she caught herself,
   1.119 +only nodding in response. 全he's telling me about HIM...' Hotaru
   1.120 +thought, mentally hissing the last word, not even wanting to think
   1.121 +his name. 全he's doing it because she wants me to know she's still in
   1.122 +love with him, and that thing at the park was just a friendly
   1.123 +thing...' She swallowed hard and rested her forehead on her knees
   1.124 +now, looking down at the floor, her face hidden.
   1.125 +選'll never be able to be anything more than a friend to her. She's
   1.126 +always going to see me as just a friend. No matter what I do...god,
   1.127 +don't start here, you're only going to embarrass yourself.' But she
   1.128 +couldn't hold it in anymore, and the tears started to drip from her
   1.129 +eyes, quickly being absorbed into her tights. Hotaru daren't make a
   1.130 +sound.
   1.131 +	"I want to go back and see him soon," Chibi said, looking out the
   1.132 +window, only trying to make Hotaru happy. She figured that the reason
   1.133 +Hotaru was so upset was that they were so physically close to each
   1.134 +other and she'd gotten uncomfortable. "I wonder what our wedding is
   1.135 +going to be like?" The pink haired girl mused aloud, closing her eyes
   1.136 +to picture the event. "I want lots of flowers, and music, and
   1.137 +everyone's going to be invited." She paused to consider something,
   1.138 +tilting her head, "And I can have a really big cake, cus I know
   1.139 +Usagi's going to be a pig and eat it all."
   1.140 +	Hotaru started to shake, 糎hy is she doing this to me?' the tears
   1.141 +were flowing harder now and she had to give everything she had to
   1.142 +avoid sobbing loudly and running out of the room. 選s she trying to
   1.143 +hurt me? I didn't think she'd do that...did I make her that mad? Oh,
   1.144 +Chibi don't do this to me...please!' But, she only nodded, fighting
   1.145 +to keep her sniffles silent as she listened to her friend continue.
   1.146 +	"Oh, and a really big dress. I want one that's pink and white with
   1.147 +little yellow bunnies on the veil, so he has to laugh when he kisses
   1.148 +me." Chibi smiled faintly at the thought, but only for effect. Her
   1.149 +heart wasn't in it. She was only saying what she thought Hotaru
   1.150 +wanted to hear, and looking out the window, she didn't notice that
   1.151 +the black haired girl cringed and tightened her hands into fists at
   1.152 +the mention of a kiss. Chibi-Usa continued, "Then comes the
   1.153 +honeymoon...where do you think he and I should go?"
   1.154 +	Hotaru thought for a moment, knowing full well where she wanted to
   1.155 +send Helios, but only shrugged her shoulders. She would be
   1.156 +nice....she had to be, Chibi loved him, and she had no choice but to
   1.157 +accept that. Her friend was happy with this guy, and she would be
   1.158 +happy for her. Even if it killed her.
   1.159 +	"I want somewhere romantic..." Chibi-Usa said, making her best
   1.160 +effort to sound wistful, and dreamy, "Because...you know, honey moon
   1.161 +stuff." That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Hotaru simply
   1.162 +couldn't take it any more. Giving in to her body's desires, she
   1.163 +simply let go and allowed herself to sob. It terrified Chjbi; it
   1.164 +didn't seem human, so much agony was reserved for the damned. It was
   1.165 +followed by a short, but loud scream as Hotaru slammed her fist into
   1.166 +the floor in frustration with herself and the situation. A soft,
   1.167 +sickening cracking sound issued from the blow, but it was completely
   1.168 +disregarded. "Hotaru....?" Chibi asked carefully, as a tear soaked
   1.169 +face raised from to look upon her.  Hotaru's eyes were bloodshot, and
   1.170 +her skin was discolored from the tears and the dirt that was on the
   1.171 +knees of her tights from falling earlier.
   1.172 +	"What, Chibi-Usa? What?" Hotaru managed between sobs, angry, but
   1.173 +not at her friend. "Want advice on what you should do with HIM!?"
   1.174 +That scared Chibi-Usa, who had frightening flash backs of Mistress 9,
   1.175 +and the sheer destructive nature that Hotaru possessed. Unable to
   1.176 +control herself, Hotaru bawled loudly, though Usagi's faint
   1.177 +conversation continued in the background. "I can't take it
   1.178 +anymore....I can't....I just can't!"
   1.179 +	"Take what Hotaru!? You've been mean to me ever since the park! You
   1.180 +get mad at me cus you fall asleep, and then tell me that you didn't
   1.181 +mean to! You didn't know how happy it made me for you to show how
   1.182 +much you trusted me!" Chibi was just as agitated as Hotaru now, and
   1.183 +was speaking before she thought. 前h god, that's only going to make
   1.184 +her mad...please don't hurt yourself anymore... Please....'
   1.185 +	"What?! You got mad and ran away when I told you I was sorry! I
   1.186 +just was so comfortable with you, and so happy to be around you that
   1.187 +I fell asleep! I said I was sorry!" Hotaru was too worked up to grasp
   1.188 +the situation, normally very keen on things, she simply couldn't see
   1.189 +where their messages got mixed up. "I didn't mean to!"
   1.190 +	"You....trusted me?" Chibi's voice dropped from a yell to a
   1.191 +whisper. 選t wasn't a mistake...oh gods what have I done?!'
   1.192 +"Hotaru...oh no, no, no...gods no..." she approached the black haired
   1.193 +girl who took a step back and stood defensively to the advancement.
   1.194 +Her hand was already bruised a hideous, deep purple that marred her
   1.195 +alabaster perfection. 前h Hotaru what have I done to you?! But....why
   1.196 +did you get so mad? I have to know....' Swallowing hard, Chibi asked
   1.197 +the question that could make, or break their friendship, "Why did you
   1.198 +get so mad when I mention Helios?"
   1.199 +	"Why...?" Hotaru asked, shaking her head, "Why...? Because you talk
   1.200 +about him like he's some kind of god! You tell me all the time about
   1.201 +how much you miss him, or how much you want to go back to see him."
   1.202 +Ignoring the pain that started to throb in her fingers, Hotaru
   1.203 +continued. "I'm jealous, Chibi-Usa. JEALOUS! I'm not perfect!"
   1.204 +	"Jealous of what?! You're my best friend, I tell you EVERYTHING! I
   1.205 +tell you things I could never tell him!" Chibi shouted back, now
   1.206 +aggravated by Hotaru's unneeded jealousy. "Why are you so upset?!"
   1.207 +	"Because I'm in love with you, that's why!" Hotaru yelled at Chibi
   1.208 +before she could even realize what she'd said. Both of them stood in
   1.209 +shock, Chibi-Usa's mouth dropping open as she stared at her friend
   1.210 +who suddenly grew sheepish, turning away as she mumbled "Because I'm
   1.211 +in love with you...I'm sorry, I'll go." Hotaru made a quick move for
   1.212 +the exit, but Chibi was much faster than she and grabbed onto her
   1.213 +injured arm, getting a short yelp of pain from Hotaru.
   1.214 +	"I'm sorry....I didn't mean to....just don't go, please?
   1.215 +Stay....let me get you some ice for that hand...stay here, ok?
   1.216 +Promise me you'll stay here at least until I get back from the
   1.217 +kitchen." Chibi looked at the now quiet Hotaru who only nodded and
   1.218 +sat down on the bed, holding her bruised hand gingerly. Chibi-Usa ran
   1.219 +from her room, nearly colliding with Usagi who was in the kitchen,
   1.220 +still talking, and fixing herself a snack.
   1.221 +			"What's all the yellin' about?" Usagi asked her daughter, who was
   1.222 +already filling a bag full of ice. Her mouth was packed with
   1.223 +chocolate donut, a glass of milk in her hand, and the phone cradled
   1.224 +against her shoulder. "And what's with the ice?"
   1.225 +	"God you're nosy," Chibi said, closing the freezer and putting the
   1.226 +ice bag into a clean dish towel so it wouldn't freeze Hotaru's hand,
   1.227 +"Hotaru hurt herself and I'm getting her ice. Why are you stuffing
   1.228 +your face again?"
   1.229 +	"Cus I'm hungry, duh." Usagi said over another bite of donut,
   1.230 +mumbling something incoherent to the person on the other end of the
   1.231 +phone before walking out of the kitchen and back to her room.
   1.232 +	"You're always hungry..." The pink haired girl grumbled while she
   1.233 +hurried back to her room to find Hotaru still seated on the bed, her
   1.234 +tear stained face looking towards the floor. "Here you go.." Chibi
   1.235 +offered the ice carefully to Hotaru who took it and applied it to her
   1.236 +injury with a soft whine. "I'm sorry....Hotaru, really. I was only
   1.237 +mad cus I thought you were upset that you fell asleep on me...that
   1.238 +you were mad at yourself for accidently doing that...that you didn't
   1.239 +trust me."
   1.240 +	"I trust you..." Hotaru whispered quietly with a shake of her head,
   1.241 +"Otherwise I wouldn't have done that...I thought you were mad at me
   1.242 +for thinking I could be that way with you..." She sighed, adjusting
   1.243 +the ice to not put pressure on the injury, "And...I guess after I
   1.244 +told you what I did, you don't want to see me anymore. You're
   1.245 +supposed to be with hi-" she caught herself, and released a
   1.246 +controlled breath, "With Helios... I won't get in the way..."
   1.247 +	"I...don't know if I want to be with him anymore." Chibi confessed,
   1.248 +looking desperately at her friend, "It just feels so fake when I'm
   1.249 +with him, like I have to be someone I'm not. It didn't used to be
   1.250 +like that, I used to be able to talk with him for hours, and just
   1.251 +enjoy being next to him...." Her red irises grew larger as she came
   1.252 +to a realization, "Just....like I am with you."
   1.253 +	"You....you mean that?" Hotaru asked carefully, being certain not
   1.254 +to get her hopes up for nothing, demanding that she stay in control
   1.255 +of her body. Chibi only nodded and placed a hand on Hotaru's cheek.
   1.256 +The two looked into each other's eyes, Chibi-Usa's hand cupping her
   1.257 +friend's face comfortingly.
   1.258 +	"You really scared me, Hotaru...I've never seen you like that." Usa
   1.259 +began, gently touching the shoulder of Hotaru's injured arm, "I don't
   1.260 +want you to hurt...You should have hit me, I was the one being the
   1.261 +jerk..."
   1.262 +	"No..." The black haired girl shook her head, "I could never
   1.263 +purposely hurt you like that. You know I care about you too much...I
   1.264 +love you, Chibi..." She didn't expect an answer back, and was content
   1.265 +with just saying it to let her friend know how she truly and honestly
   1.266 +felt. "I'm going to have trouble explaining my hand to my parents,"
   1.267 +Hotaru quickly changed the subject, "They're going to worry abo-" She
   1.268 +was quickly silenced by Chibi-Usa who placed a single, slender digit
   1.269 +over her lips.
   1.270 +	"I love you too Hotaru..."
   1.271 +
   1.272 +