(ns rlm.meditations)

 

 (defn ten-times

   "Why do people have to argue so much?  I feel so alone and

    angry. Clojure helps me to calm down.  Just today I went to pour

    house, and al through the walk, there was so much negativity.  Most

    of this comes from Mike, I think.  He himself feels insecure

    because Duncan and Acrefoot were talking about inodes and he didn't

   know what they were.  Duncan was talking about a ray tracer which

   would be able to cmompute new frames in real time.  I thought that

   sounded neat, but I don't think 20 cores would be enough to really

   get it right..  You probably need a whole separate computer

   archeticture to actualy do it, like the ray tracing FPGA setup that

   some peoplle in 6.375 made last semester. When we gmade it to Pour

   House, there seemed to be some event going on.  We went downstairs

   and found that it was Amnesty International, MIT division, holding a

   petition for the conditional release of some journalists from

   somewhere.  The girl wwho introduced us to the program was drunk.

   There were no tables,  bbut the bar was mostly empty.  I suggested

   to Mike that we might sit at the bar, but he said that that would

   kill the experience for him since then we would be unable to talk to

   everyone eexcept those next to us.  Then he told me that If I wanted

   t sit down that I could just do that.  He was saying that I didn't

   care about anything but food and that it woI wasn't really part of

   the group anyway, so it was really just up to me wherever I wanted

   to sit.  I found this to be very cruel and was sad.  He didn't even

   realize that he made me sad, which means he can't put himself in my

   shoes even a bit.  Then he got into an argument with acrefoot about

   whether there was a croud above us or not.  Acrefood had not

   nnoticed the croud when we walked in, so he thought we might go up

   thereand see if we could get a table.  Mike kept arguing about which

   way was the front or back of the store because he didn't remember

   the orientation of the upper level after we walked down the stairs.

   ThBoth men were missing something that the other knew, but the

   difference between acrefoot and Mike was that Mike in every word he

   said was trying to put acrefoot down and belittle his intelligence

   by arguing with him, while acrefoot tried to explain which way was

   the front many times whithout changing the subject.  Finally

   acrefoot found out about the croud, but by that time, he was

   upsetand wanted to go up to the upper level anyway just to get away

   from Mike.  I wanted to go too and said so.  Mike dismissively said

   that it was OK to go up if we wanted, and I started to follow

   acrefoot to the stairs.  But then acrefoot asked Chris if he wanted

   to go with him.  Am I invisible or something?  Acrefood did not mean

   this out of malice, he just literally din't see me  and so asked

   chris.  Still, this made me feel bad because I was already feeling

   bad. Acrefoot and I went upstairs and found that the croud which was

   there prevented us from getting a seat.  We went back down and there

   was Mike, sitting at a table that had just cleared.  People started

   to sit down at the table, and then Duncan sat next to Mike and

   l positioned his body in such a way that he took up the remainder of

   the three person booth seat.  Yen-yu told him to move but he acted

   like he couldn't hear her.  I was standing right next to him and

   obviously (to me and most people) wating for my seat, but he would

   not move.  This is Duncan being his normal mildly-autustic self.  I

   can't blame him for it, as he just gets so focoused sometimes that

   he doesn't know how to deal with people.  I have some of the same

   problems.  I like Duncan, but what he did made me feel sad even

   more, because I was already feeling upset at his point.  With three

   random acts of meanness and inconsiderateness behind me and nothing

   that good to look forward to, I just left.  I didn't feel like

   talking to anyone anymore, but wanted to be by myself. I hate how

   Mike dismisses me, how his personality is alined to casual meanness,

   and how  he doesn't even have enough self reflection to know when he

   is hurting others.  I hope that he matures more and becomes a very

   nice person, but I worry about him.  I think I think about him too

   much..  I'm becomming more widthdrawsn from interacting with these

   nerds with half-baked social programming.  It's hard living with

   people who can casually just ithrow insults at you  that would

   demand a fight anywhere else.  Where people can ignore you if they

   think you're less intelligent than they are.  I don't like it on

   tetazoo.  I don't like myself, and I don't like the people here, so

   what am I supposed to do? I have to learn to deal or remove myself

   from this situation. I think I'd be sad if I was all alone, though.

   I left the resturant.  I just didn't want to talk t o anyone

   anymore.  I wanted to be alone.  I whish Dylan was here, or even

   anothere copy of myself to talk to.  I'm so lonely..  They've gotten

   into my head.  When I type that last sentence, I hear \"oh, the poor

   buy is sad, no one loves him.  you're not good enough to be loved.\"

   That part of me is not helpful.  It's echos of people being mean to

   me in the past.  If I was here to talk to, what would I say?  I

   would say, 'what's stopping you from just finding a new life, or

   just being they type of person that people like and who gets along

   wwith everyone?

   I'd like to do this but it's so hard to just do a 180 on my

   emotions..  As I was walking down the street, I overheard arguing

   people and happy people in equal measure.  At the time all I

   processed were the angry , arguing people, but the goodness was

   there too.  So, it's just a matter of who you hang out with? Maybe

   the clojure community can be ,y community? At least I have one good

   friend in Pablo.  Dylan is good but he's far away and has a mountain

   of his owwn problems he has to work through before he can do

   anything with me..I feel lame, because I've been around critical

   people for too long. I want to change, become more affable, but I

   don't know how. What should I do now? I think I'll go swimming.

   But, I don't think they'll let me actually go.  I loaned my ID card

   to pablo.

    This is an experiment in nested closures that makes a function that

    must be called ten times to yield its value. It reminds me of

    taylor aproximations to a sin wave, which are only accurate for a

    finite stretch of the reals, but that stretch can be made as long

    as you want by adding more terms."

   []

   (let [count 10

 	return (fn return [n]

 		 (if (= n 0) "the end"

 		     (fn [] (return (dec n)))))]

     (return (dec count))))

 

 (defn onion [f n] (if (zero? n) f (recur (fn[]f) (dec n))))

 

 (defn onion++[f n] (if (zero? n) f (recur (fn[& _]f) (dec n))))

 

 (defn onion+ [f n] (reduce (fn [f _] (fn [] f)) f (range n)))

 

 (defn onion-n [n f] (onion f n))

 

 

 (defn ttt [f & knocks]

   (

   (cond (empty? knocks) f

 	(

 

 

 (defn onion++ [f & knocks]

   (let[forever-onion (fn g[& _]g)]

     (reduce (fn [g knock]

 	      (fn[& args] (if (=(first args) knock) g forever-onion)))

 	    f knocks)))

 

 

 

 (defn treasure

   ([X n]

      (fn[& args]

        (let [k (count args)]

        (cond

 	(< k n) (println "It's to your right!")

 	(> k n) (println "It's to your left!")

 	(= k n) (do (println "Apply force here to dig!") (delay X))))))

   ([X n & ns]

      (apply treasure (treasure X n) ns)))

 

 

 (def X (treasure "I'm treasure!" 5 3 2 6))

 (defn soln []

   (force ((force ((force ((force (X 1 1 1 1 1 1 ))1 1  )) 1 1 1)) 1 1 1 1 1 ) ))

 

 

 (defn onion* [f n]

   (if (zero? n)

     f

     (fn [] (onion* f (dec n)))))