Mercurial > rlm
comparison src/rlm/meditations.clj @ 0:78a630e650d2
initial import
author | Robert McIntyre <rlm@mit.edu> |
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date | Tue, 18 Oct 2011 00:57:08 -0700 |
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1 (ns rlm.meditations) | |
2 | |
3 (defn ten-times | |
4 "Why do people have to argue so much? I feel so alone and | |
5 angry. Clojure helps me to calm down. Just today I went to pour | |
6 house, and al through the walk, there was so much negativity. Most | |
7 of this comes from Mike, I think. He himself feels insecure | |
8 because Duncan and Acrefoot were talking about inodes and he didn't | |
9 know what they were. Duncan was talking about a ray tracer which | |
10 would be able to cmompute new frames in real time. I thought that | |
11 sounded neat, but I don't think 20 cores would be enough to really | |
12 get it right.. You probably need a whole separate computer | |
13 archeticture to actualy do it, like the ray tracing FPGA setup that | |
14 some peoplle in 6.375 made last semester. When we gmade it to Pour | |
15 House, there seemed to be some event going on. We went downstairs | |
16 and found that it was Amnesty International, MIT division, holding a | |
17 petition for the conditional release of some journalists from | |
18 somewhere. The girl wwho introduced us to the program was drunk. | |
19 There were no tables, bbut the bar was mostly empty. I suggested | |
20 to Mike that we might sit at the bar, but he said that that would | |
21 kill the experience for him since then we would be unable to talk to | |
22 everyone eexcept those next to us. Then he told me that If I wanted | |
23 t sit down that I could just do that. He was saying that I didn't | |
24 care about anything but food and that it woI wasn't really part of | |
25 the group anyway, so it was really just up to me wherever I wanted | |
26 to sit. I found this to be very cruel and was sad. He didn't even | |
27 realize that he made me sad, which means he can't put himself in my | |
28 shoes even a bit. Then he got into an argument with acrefoot about | |
29 whether there was a croud above us or not. Acrefood had not | |
30 nnoticed the croud when we walked in, so he thought we might go up | |
31 thereand see if we could get a table. Mike kept arguing about which | |
32 way was the front or back of the store because he didn't remember | |
33 the orientation of the upper level after we walked down the stairs. | |
34 ThBoth men were missing something that the other knew, but the | |
35 difference between acrefoot and Mike was that Mike in every word he | |
36 said was trying to put acrefoot down and belittle his intelligence | |
37 by arguing with him, while acrefoot tried to explain which way was | |
38 the front many times whithout changing the subject. Finally | |
39 acrefoot found out about the croud, but by that time, he was | |
40 upsetand wanted to go up to the upper level anyway just to get away | |
41 from Mike. I wanted to go too and said so. Mike dismissively said | |
42 that it was OK to go up if we wanted, and I started to follow | |
43 acrefoot to the stairs. But then acrefoot asked Chris if he wanted | |
44 to go with him. Am I invisible or something? Acrefood did not mean | |
45 this out of malice, he just literally din't see me and so asked | |
46 chris. Still, this made me feel bad because I was already feeling | |
47 bad. Acrefoot and I went upstairs and found that the croud which was | |
48 there prevented us from getting a seat. We went back down and there | |
49 was Mike, sitting at a table that had just cleared. People started | |
50 to sit down at the table, and then Duncan sat next to Mike and | |
51 l positioned his body in such a way that he took up the remainder of | |
52 the three person booth seat. Yen-yu told him to move but he acted | |
53 like he couldn't hear her. I was standing right next to him and | |
54 obviously (to me and most people) wating for my seat, but he would | |
55 not move. This is Duncan being his normal mildly-autustic self. I | |
56 can't blame him for it, as he just gets so focoused sometimes that | |
57 he doesn't know how to deal with people. I have some of the same | |
58 problems. I like Duncan, but what he did made me feel sad even | |
59 more, because I was already feeling upset at his point. With three | |
60 random acts of meanness and inconsiderateness behind me and nothing | |
61 that good to look forward to, I just left. I didn't feel like | |
62 talking to anyone anymore, but wanted to be by myself. I hate how | |
63 Mike dismisses me, how his personality is alined to casual meanness, | |
64 and how he doesn't even have enough self reflection to know when he | |
65 is hurting others. I hope that he matures more and becomes a very | |
66 nice person, but I worry about him. I think I think about him too | |
67 much.. I'm becomming more widthdrawsn from interacting with these | |
68 nerds with half-baked social programming. It's hard living with | |
69 people who can casually just ithrow insults at you that would | |
70 demand a fight anywhere else. Where people can ignore you if they | |
71 think you're less intelligent than they are. I don't like it on | |
72 tetazoo. I don't like myself, and I don't like the people here, so | |
73 what am I supposed to do? I have to learn to deal or remove myself | |
74 from this situation. I think I'd be sad if I was all alone, though. | |
75 I left the resturant. I just didn't want to talk t o anyone | |
76 anymore. I wanted to be alone. I whish Dylan was here, or even | |
77 anothere copy of myself to talk to. I'm so lonely.. They've gotten | |
78 into my head. When I type that last sentence, I hear \"oh, the poor | |
79 buy is sad, no one loves him. you're not good enough to be loved.\" | |
80 That part of me is not helpful. It's echos of people being mean to | |
81 me in the past. If I was here to talk to, what would I say? I | |
82 would say, 'what's stopping you from just finding a new life, or | |
83 just being they type of person that people like and who gets along | |
84 wwith everyone? | |
85 I'd like to do this but it's so hard to just do a 180 on my | |
86 emotions.. As I was walking down the street, I overheard arguing | |
87 people and happy people in equal measure. At the time all I | |
88 processed were the angry , arguing people, but the goodness was | |
89 there too. So, it's just a matter of who you hang out with? Maybe | |
90 the clojure community can be ,y community? At least I have one good | |
91 friend in Pablo. Dylan is good but he's far away and has a mountain | |
92 of his owwn problems he has to work through before he can do | |
93 anything with me..I feel lame, because I've been around critical | |
94 people for too long. I want to change, become more affable, but I | |
95 don't know how. What should I do now? I think I'll go swimming. | |
96 But, I don't think they'll let me actually go. I loaned my ID card | |
97 to pablo. | |
98 This is an experiment in nested closures that makes a function that | |
99 must be called ten times to yield its value. It reminds me of | |
100 taylor aproximations to a sin wave, which are only accurate for a | |
101 finite stretch of the reals, but that stretch can be made as long | |
102 as you want by adding more terms." | |
103 [] | |
104 (let [count 10 | |
105 return (fn return [n] | |
106 (if (= n 0) "the end" | |
107 (fn [] (return (dec n)))))] | |
108 (return (dec count)))) | |
109 | |
110 (defn onion [f n] (if (zero? n) f (recur (fn[]f) (dec n)))) | |
111 | |
112 (defn onion++[f n] (if (zero? n) f (recur (fn[& _]f) (dec n)))) | |
113 | |
114 (defn onion+ [f n] (reduce (fn [f _] (fn [] f)) f (range n))) | |
115 | |
116 (defn onion-n [n f] (onion f n)) | |
117 | |
118 | |
119 (defn ttt [f & knocks] | |
120 ( | |
121 (cond (empty? knocks) f | |
122 ( | |
123 | |
124 | |
125 (defn onion++ [f & knocks] | |
126 (let[forever-onion (fn g[& _]g)] | |
127 (reduce (fn [g knock] | |
128 (fn[& args] (if (=(first args) knock) g forever-onion))) | |
129 f knocks))) | |
130 | |
131 | |
132 | |
133 (defn treasure | |
134 ([X n] | |
135 (fn[& args] | |
136 (let [k (count args)] | |
137 (cond | |
138 (< k n) (println "It's to your right!") | |
139 (> k n) (println "It's to your left!") | |
140 (= k n) (do (println "Apply force here to dig!") (delay X)))))) | |
141 ([X n & ns] | |
142 (apply treasure (treasure X n) ns))) | |
143 | |
144 | |
145 (def X (treasure "I'm treasure!" 5 3 2 6)) | |
146 (defn soln [] | |
147 (force ((force ((force ((force (X 1 1 1 1 1 1 ))1 1 )) 1 1 1)) 1 1 1 1 1 ) )) | |
148 | |
149 | |
150 (defn onion* [f n] | |
151 (if (zero? n) | |
152 f | |
153 (fn [] (onion* f (dec n))))) | |
154 | |
155 |