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1
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2 Love is the Crooked Thing
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3
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4 By G. P.
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5
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6 Comments can be sent to the author at: treeandleaf2002@yahoo.com
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7 Note: All characters and names are copyright CLAMP. This work is in
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8 no way meant to infringe upon their intellectual property rights.
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9
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10
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11 BROWN PENNY by William Butler Yeats
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12
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13 I WHISPERED, "I am too young,"
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14 And then, "I am old enough";
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15 Wherefore I threw a penny
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16 To find out if I might love.
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17 "Go and love, go and love, young man,
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18 If the lady be young and fair."
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19 Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
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20 I am looped in the loops of her hair.
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21
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22 O love is the crooked thing,
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23 There is nobody wise enough
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24 To find out all that is in it,
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25 For he would be thinking of love
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26 Till the stars had run away
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27 And the shadows eaten the moon.
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28 Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
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29 One cannot begin it too soon.
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30
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31
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32
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33
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34
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35 Drawing a deep breath, pursing her lips in hesitant uncertainty,
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36 Sakura flicked the clasp of The Book. Like a shot, the click
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37 resounded loudly in the dimly lit room. Glancing up nervously, half-
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38 expecting the entire household to come running, Sakura let out a
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39 long, shaky sigh,.
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40
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41 "Hoeeee, should I be doing this?"
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42
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43 And without Kero to help, too. Another wave of ambivalence swept her
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44 pajama-clad form as she hugged herself tightly in the chill night
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45 air. For almost a month, she had been in turmoil, a gripping, minute-
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46 to-minute whirlwind of heartsick emotion. Knitting her brow, Sakura
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47 concentrated on the cards, willing them to come forth. Like leaves in
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48 a storm they fluttered from the book, lightly spinning in a
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49 breezeless swirl. Carefully reciting their names, Sakura closed her
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50 eyes, hearing them fall softly to the table. Then, silence.
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51
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52 Blinking her green eyes open, she stared at the two piles neatly
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53 stacked before her. Sakura gently placed the bigger pile back in the
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54 book, closing the cover and clasping the golden latch with a decisive
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55 "snick".
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56
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57 "All right, how did we do it before? 'Divide 4 with your left hand,
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58 in any order you like'"
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59
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60 She remembered Kero coaching her the first time, sagely fluttering
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61 about as she arranged the cards. Oneechan had been in terrible
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62 danger, tricked by an illusion of Mirror. She had felt his danger as
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63 a cold fist gripping her heart, squeezing tightly. The feeling now
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64 was just as intense, but so very different: not cold, but hot, not
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65 sharp and focused, but wild and dizzying.
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66
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67 "There"
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68
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69 She looked down at the 10 cards, arranged in three neat rows of
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70 three, with one set to the right side. Closing her eyes again, she
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71 began to chant,
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72
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73 "Cards made by Clow, answer my question. Show me the truth of the
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74 situation before me".
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75
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76 Speaking these last words, her heart fluttered as she drew a quick
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77 breath. Thinking, do I really want to know the truth? For a month she
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78 had not. She had turned away, closed her eyes, and desperately tried
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79 to shut out the feelings that battered against her. Like a frightened
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80 animal she had run, in sheer terror, from her own confused emotions.
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81 But every day those feelings caught her, like baying hounds that
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82 could not be stilled, hot breath on her neck, eagerly flushing her
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83 into the open and cruelly driving her to ground. She shivered again,
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84 sensing a whirling wind above the cards as her chant took effect. Her
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85 auburn-red hair was lifted and tossed as her pajamas rustled and
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86 flapped in the breeze. When the little zephyr died out, she blinked
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87 her eyes open, gazing at the middle card in the top most row.
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88
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89 "This is who is talking to me?"
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90
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91 With a strangely steady hand, for the nervousness had drained away,
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92 The Mistress of the Cards turned over... The Flower.
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93
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94 "Eeeehhhh?"
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95
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96 Puzzled, Sakura stared at the card, a sweat drop forming. Flower?
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97 Not some Card of power and drama, like Dream, or Sword, or Windy?
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98 Flower?! It was more than disappointing, it was…. irritating. For all
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99 the wrenching agony she'd been through in the past weeks, it was
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100 Flower that was talking to her?
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101
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102 "This can't be right", she mumbled to herself. But it all looked
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103 right, no, it felt right, too. If she didn't know the source of the
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104 feelings that wracked her, she at least knew the Cards. And this was
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105 right.
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106
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107 "OK, Flower. I found you at the School Festival, practically
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108 drowning us in petals. Kero said you like people, and parties, and
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109 fun, and, " Sakura felt a blush creeping up her neck, "and you danced
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110 with me, hee". Hannyann! After the shock wore off it had been kind of
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111 fun, dancing on the rooftop among the scents of a thousand blossoms.
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112
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113 So, it was Flower that called to her. But looking at the Card,
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114 Sakura could not believe that so gentle a thing could cause such
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115 stormy feelings. With a quick breath, Sakura remembered yesterday in
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116 school. Fidgety in class, the teacher calling her who knows how many
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117 times before she came to, Tomoyo tugging desperately at her sleeve,
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118 smiling as always. She remembered furious words with Li, stomping
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119 away from the puzzled and angry boy. And even Tomoyo! Turning her
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120 back on her very best friend, running away, sobbing. Wiping away the
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121 tears with her pajama sleeve, she remembered the image of Tomoyo,
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122 crushed, hurt beyond measure, clutching her hands tightly as Sakura
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123 raced away from her. Guiltily looking at the pink cell phone, knowing
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124 who had tried to call her all night before turning it off. Thinking,
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125 “Now, I'm even hurting Tomoyo-chan”.
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126
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127 That's why she had to know, she could not put it off. Not knowing
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128 the feelings that battered her was painful, but now it was hurting
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129 the people that she loved so dearly.
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130
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131 “Well,” she thought, “let's see just who, or what, is behind all of
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132 this.” Looking decisievely at the middle row of cards, she reached
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133 out and turned them over, 1, 2, 3.
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134
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135
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136 The Sweet, The Silent, and The Song.
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137
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138
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139 The emerald eyes widened as she scanned the cards. This made even
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140 less sense than Flower trying to talk to her. There was nothing sweet
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141 about the agony she had been feeling. Her heart racing and stopping,
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142 flushed hot and cold, dizzy and spinney with a longing that was
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143 tearing her apart. And a Silent Song? That was impossible,
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144 ridiculous. What sort of song can be silent? TV with the sound off?
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145 Karaoke? A broken CD player? But again, the Cards felt right.
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146 Whoever, or whatever, was causing her to suffer was there on the
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147 table, spelled out in three Clow Cards.
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148
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149 Closing her eyes, Sakura concentrated, as hard as she ever had. The
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150 world fell away, room and house and family and friends and the whole
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151 wide world vanishing into an inner darkness. Only three cards in a
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152 black, velvety silence. Concentrate! For untold minutes, her
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153 breathing stilled, heart barely beating, there nothing but the three
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154 cards. All thoughts and feelings drifting away like incense at a
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155 temple, wispy little nothings in the vast dark. And then, she heard it.
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156
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157 From far, far away, down a tunnel or a tube or a cave, barely
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158 audible in the inky midnight, a voice...no, a song! Sweet beyond
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159 words, charming, alluring, and hauntingly beautiful. Sakura's heart
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160 suddenly pounding, racing away from her as a stormy, thundering
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161 whirlwind ripped apart the darkness, drowning out the faint melody.
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162 With a shuddering gasp, she came to, reeling, dizzy, the cards on
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163 the table slowly coming into focus:
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164
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165 The Sweet, The Silent, and The Song.
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166
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167
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168 Breathing heavily, her fists in tight little balls, Sakura forced
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169 herself to calm down. Only one more. Pursing her lips, she glanced at
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170 the outside Card, separate, alone in it's own little row. This is the
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171 card that will tell me where. With mounting excitement, she reached
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172 for the card, then hesitated. What would she do when she knew? In a
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173 way, the not knowing was easier. Painful, yes, but not knowing was
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174 easier, safer, and more comfortable, because by not knowing, she did
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175 not have to do anything. With a smile, Sakura suddenly reached for
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176 the final card. She knew herself well enough. When she knew, she
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177 would act. From the very first sounds in the basement, she had faced
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178 whatever came along. Sometimes fearfully, sometimes with a push or a
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179 tug from Kero or Li, but she had met the cards, one by one. Her
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180 little hand reached out, flipping the final card over.
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181
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182 The Maze.
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183
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184 Well, this at least made sense. Total, complete sense. Because
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185 whatever, or whoever, was affecting her so severely was hidden far,
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186 far away. It almost seemed that she had been in a maze herself for
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187 weeks, stumbling up and down one blind alley after another. Fear of
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188 the time she and Li and Tomoyo were trapped in the Maze dissipated as
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189 her confidence burned brightly.
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190
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191 "This is a maze I can understand.” Sakura’s once gentle face was set
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192 with an iron determination. Smiling, she whispered, “Now I'll find
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193 you".
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194
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195 Standing up, Sakura tightly clasped the Key at her breast.
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196
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197
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198 “Oh Key that hides the power of darkness, obey your Mistress”.
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199 Arching over the table, the girl picked up the Maze card and tossed
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200 it in the air as her room dissolved into golden light. Twirling her
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201 staff above her head, Sakura lunged and struck the fluttering card.
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202
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203 “Release"!
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204
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205
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206 Part 2
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207 In the Labyrinth
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208
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209 Standing at the gaping entrance of the maze, feeling a cool breeze
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210 from the deep dark within, Sakura suddenly wavered as a sickly fear
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211 settled upon her. There would be no help if she entered, no Tomoyo or
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212 Li or Mizuki-sensei to fetch her out. If she went in it was alone,
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213 except for whatever awaited within. Drawing a deep breath, she
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214 stepped lightly across the threshold, the golden light swallowed up
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215 behind her. As her eyes adjusted to the dim contours of the smooth
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216 walls, a sudden thought brought her to an equally sudden stop,
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217
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218 “And once I’m in, how will I ever get out?” With a quick smile she
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219 drew the Flower Card and flicked it into the air. “Release! And leave
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220 a trail of petals that follows my every step!”
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221 Now, with every step a gentle rain of pink sakura petals marked her
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222 way. Plunging into the darkness, the tiny pajama-clad figure listened
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223 for the haunting strains of Song. But all was silent, save for the
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224 soft shuffling of her own feet.
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225
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226 On and on she went, sometimes doubling back, sometimes spiraling
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227 around and around as the gray walls curved and looped. Finally, after
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228 what seemed like hours, Sakura slumped against the wall in an
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229 exhausted and frustrated heap.
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230
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231 “I’m going nowhere like this”. She shut her eyes tight, listening,
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232 hearing only silence. “OK, stop walking, and concentrate. Concentrate…”
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233
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234 Three Cards: The Sweet, The Silent, and The Song.
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235
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236 She had heard the Song, sweet and melodic, faint but clear and
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237 compelling. Now, there was only silence. The three cards were keys to
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238 what had plunged her into turmoil for the past month. Her senses,
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239 made keen and sharp by the year of hunting the Cards, could not
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240 detect the presence of a Clow Card in all of this. With analytic
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241 eyes, she turned to the stormy emotions that had beset her
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242 since...since when?
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243
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244 "Since I found out about Yue".
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245
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246 Yue, the real Yukito; and so coldly different. With a wistful
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247 sadness she recalled lights like falling stars at the festival, a
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248 gentle glance, the lazy arc of a candy thrown from a bike. Her
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249 affection for him was undimmed, but, changed somehow. She shook her
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250 head, jumped up with a start, and began walking again. Since Yue,
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251 there had been an emptiness, a hole in her heart where a chill breeze
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252 blew. But the strange, powerful feelings that wracked her were not
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253 because of Yue, not about him at all. Or, rather, it was because he
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254 was gone that those sweet, painful feelings were unleashed. It was as
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255 if a dam had broken, and a flood of emotion, long bottled up, had
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256 gushed forth sweeping all before it.
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257
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258
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259 Sweet, painful feelings. She stopped, standing quite still, and
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260 closed her eyes. Sweet feelings? Yes, they were. They hurt, they
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261 hounded her, and they had turned her life inside out. And yet, there
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262 was an intense, breathless sweetness. It was like the delightful
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263 feeling she had had with Yukito, or Mizuki-sensei, hannyann! But
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264 wrapped tightly with a longing, an aching sense of incompleteness,
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265 and an intensity that frightened her as no Clow Card ever had. And
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266 whatever caused it was in here, with her, silent. Whatever, or whoever.
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267
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268 Frustrated, she began walking again, one hand following the smooth,
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269 cool wall, the endless corridors leading nowhere, the petaled path
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270 stretching behind her into the distance. If only she could hear the
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271 song again, she could get her bearings. She thought of Tomoyo-chan's
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272 songs, her sweet voice, and suddenly felt a pang of longing for her
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273 friend. Alone, the auburn haired girl realized how much she missed
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274 the presence of the one who was always at her side, with her on all
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275 her adventures, waiting for her at school, always with a kindly look,
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276 a gentle touch, and encouraging words.
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277
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278 Tomoyo-chan. The wonder, the miracle of her friendship was something
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279 she often took for granted amid the whirl of the Cards. But here,
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280 alone in the twilight halls, she keenly felt the absence of that
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281 sweet, loving presence. Even her odd obsessions, the costumes and the
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282 videotapes (sweat drop forming), were signs of her love. Then, with a
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283 gasp, Sakura froze.
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284
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285 Her love. Sakura, mouth open, stared at the ground in stunned
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286 surprise. Her love. The crimson heat of an epochal blush crept up her
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287 neck and shoulders and, like a red tsunami, overwhelmed her.
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288
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289 "She...she likes me...like that".
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290
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rlm@0
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291 Gripping the staff at her chest with both hands, Sakura stood
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292 breathless.
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293
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rlm@0
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294 "She...loves me". Shaking her head furiously, she cried, "Hooeee,
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295 why didn't I see? Why didn't she tell me? Why?"
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296
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rlm@0
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297 Closing her eyes, Sakura thought of how unspeakably painful it must
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298 have been for Tomoyo-chan, her most precious gift unseen and
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299 unrecognized. But from Tomoyo, never a reproachful glare, an angry
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300 word, never anything but unbounded, unconditional love.
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301
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302 "Baka", exclaimed Sakura, as her tears fell freely, 'How can I have
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303 been so stupid? All this time, she loved me, and I, I didn't even
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304 know. I'm so sorry, Tomoyo-chan, I'm so, so sorry...." Dropping to
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305 her knees, the Mistress of the Cards buried her face in her hands,
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306 sobbing.
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307
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rlm@0
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308 All this time, loving me...silently loving me. Through teary eyes,
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rlm@0
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309 Sakura stared into the distance and whispered,
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310
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rlm@0
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311 "Silently....loving me?"
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312
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rlm@0
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313 The Sweet, The Silent, and The Song.
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314
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315 And then, she heard it again.
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316
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317 Louder this time, the song wafted from the center, the very heart of
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318 the maze. Staggering to her feet, Sakura stumbled towards the sound.
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rlm@0
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319 Her face, streaked with tears, brightened as she recognized the voice,
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320
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321 "Tomoyo-chan...Tomoyo-chan!"
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322
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rlm@0
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323 Racing towards the source of the song, Sakura felt her heart
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324 throbbing from excitment and exertion. All the feelings of the past
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325 month welled up inside her, but focused now, like a laser beam of
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326 light. Now she understood. The roaring tempest within, no longer
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327 angry at her ignorance, throbbed in harmony with her own heart. Now,
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328 at last, she realized who she loved, had always loved, and always
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329 would love for ever and ever and ever.
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330
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rlm@0
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331 "Tomoyo-chan!"
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332
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rlm@0
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333 Ahead, a pale, amythest light shone as the maze began to dissipate
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334 and dissolve. The love song flowed like the burbling water of a
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335 mountain brook, like white-hot lava, like the stars and the suns and
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rlm@0
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336 the moons in the black velvet river of the sky. Sobbing, laughing,
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rlm@0
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337 delighted, Sakura neared the white shrouded, dark haired singer
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rlm@0
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338 bathed in a shimmering, purple glow. Slowly the figure turned to face
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339 her, blue eyes sparkling, smiling.
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340
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rlm@0
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341
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rlm@0
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342 "Sakura-chan?"
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343
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344 Puzzled, smiling, Tomoyo took her friend by the hand, leading her
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345 into the spacious room. A shadow of concern darkened her face as she
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rlm@0
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346 squeezed the girl's hand and whispered,
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347
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rlm@0
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348 "Sakura-chan, are you all right?"
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349
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rlm@0
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350 Catching her breath, blinking as she realized the maze had vanished,
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rlm@0
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351 Sakura saw the familiar outlines of her friend's room. Looking at
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rlm@0
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352 Tomoyo she smiled, blushed fiercely, then glanced away.
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rlm@0
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353
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rlm@0
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354 "Tomoyo-chan, I...."
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355
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356 Tomoyo gently held her hands, head tilted to one side, and gazed in
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357 wonder.
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358
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rlm@0
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359 "Tomoyo-chan, I like you. I...I really like you".
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360
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rlm@0
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361 With a musical laugh that angels might envy, Tomoyo beamed and
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rlm@0
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362 replied,
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rlm@0
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363
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rlm@0
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364 "I like you too, Sakura."
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365
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rlm@0
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366 Shaking her head wildly, Sakura squeezed the startled girl's hands
|
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rlm@0
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367 in an iron grip.
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rlm@0
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368
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rlm@0
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369 "No...NO! I don't mean it like that. I....Tomoyo," Her emerald eyes
|
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rlm@0
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370 flashed fire as she grappled with the words,
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rlm@0
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371
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rlm@0
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372 "Tomoyo I....I love you. I love you, too"
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373
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rlm@0
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374 For a long second, Tomoyo's face was a mask of shock and surprise.
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rlm@0
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375 Then, smiling through the tears, blue eyes shimmering in unforeseen
|
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rlm@0
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376 joy, her face shone with a radiant, heavenly light. Hand in hand,
|
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rlm@0
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377 eyes locked together, the two friends stood alabaster still. Leaning
|
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rlm@0
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378 closer, Sakura felt a warm breath against her tear-stained cheek.
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rlm@0
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379 Eyes closing, her lips lightly brushed against Tomoyo's. Tomoyo
|
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rlm@0
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380 wrapped her arms around Sakura as she returned the kiss with a gentle
|
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rlm@0
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381 passion.
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382
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rlm@0
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383 Sakura and Tomoyo stood, entwined and oblivious, as Flower gaily
|
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rlm@0
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384 danced above them, showering the lovers in a hurricane of blossoms.
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rlm@0
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385
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rlm@0
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386
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rlm@0
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387
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rlm@0
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388
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rlm@0
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389
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rlm@0
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390
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rlm@0
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391
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rlm@0
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392
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rlm@0
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393
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rlm@0
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394
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rlm@0
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395
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rlm@0
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396
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rlm@0
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397
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rlm@0
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398 Love is the sweet, silent song. And in the maze lies Tomoyo,
|
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rlm@0
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399 waiting, her silent song heard at last by Sakura, who braves the
|
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rlm@0
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400 confusion of the Maze to bring back her one true Love. |
