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1 We’d like to thank Boco the Chokobo, because without his help, this story
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2 would never have been finished, especially not in time for ChibiUsa’s
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3 birthday. ^-^
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4
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5 Farewell
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6 By the Amazoness Quartet
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7
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8
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9 ChibiUsa sighed anxiously. It was a beautiful day outside, but that
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10 was far from her mind. A certain dark haired girl was the focus of it, but
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11 that wasn't anything new. She was waiting for Hotaru to finish getting
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12 dressed so they could leave for Hotaru's father's beach house where they'd
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13 spend the next few days together. Alone this time. ChibiUsa couldn't help
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14 but smile at the idea of being alone with Hotaru. She'd already had a
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15 birthday party earlier today with the others and now she'd be able to enjoy
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16 the rest of it with the one person she wished to share everything with.
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17
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18 A wailing noise snapped her out of her thoughts. It took her a
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19 moment to realize it was the sound of a child crying. Knowing that both of
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20 their twin daughters that had come back from the future were somewhere
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21 in the house, it had to be something wrong for one of them. Heading down
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22 the stairs quickly, she tried to pinpoint where the sobbing was coming from.
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23 Selene looked up teary eyed at ChibiUsa. The future princess kneeled down
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24 worriedly next to the younger girl. “Selene, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
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25 Selene just wiped at her eyes tearfully, taking a shuddering breath before
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26 looking up at her the woman that would one day be her mother.
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27 “ChibiUsa-mama, do you
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28 really love Hotaru-mama?” she asked in almost a hushed whisper.
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29 ChibiUsa was taken aback. Why did the little girl ask that? Was there any
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30 question? Brushing a hand through her pink hair, she just blinked a few
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31 times. “Of course
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32 I do. She’s everything to me.”
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33 Selene sniffled, wiping her eyes shakily with the back of her hand.
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34 “Re…Really?”
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35 The pink haired girl nodded quickly to dispel the younger girl’s fears,
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36 wiping a
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37 tear from her cheek. She smiled gently at Selene. “Really. She’s everything
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38 to me. I love
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39 your Hotaru-mama with all my heart.” This seemed to appease the younger
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40 girl, drawing
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41 forth a small smile from her. ChibiUsa smiled softly, but something still
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42 concerned her.
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43 Something felt wrong… “Why did you ask?”
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44 The dark haired odangoed girl rubbed at her eyes with small fists before
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45 looking
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46 up at ChibiUsa again. “An angel told me. She was really pretty, with pink
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47 hair kinda like
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48 yours, but it was past her shoulders. She was all shimmery and had a white
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49 dress on that
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50 was really long and pretty, too. She said that it wasn’t enough.”
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51 “That what wasn’t enough?” ChibiUsa asked encouragingly, wanting to know
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52 what had gotten the younger girl so upset.
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53 “That you didn’t love her enough…” Selene said quietly, looking down.
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54 ChibiUsa shook her head emphatically. “No, that’s absurd. I love Hotaru
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55 more
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56 than anything. How could I not love her enough?” she demanded, her heart
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57 starting to
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58 ache from the very idea.
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59 “I.. I don’t know…” Selene barely got out, on the verge of tears.
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60 ChibiUsa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. It was nothing, just a
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61 figment of
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62 Selene’s imagination. Sure it was kind of odd, but that was just not even
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63 worth worrying
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64 about. Of course she loved Hotaru enough. She slowly smiled again, hugging
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65 the smaller
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66 girl. “It’s going to be alright, Selene. Whatever it was, it was wrong. I
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67 love Hotaru with
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68 all my heart.” ChibiUsa’s words reassured both herself and Selene. Smiling a
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69 little
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70 brighter, ChibiUsa tilted her head to the side. “Want to get some ice cream?
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71 We can
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72 forget all about this.”
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73 Selene jumped up and down excitedly. “Hai!! Thanks, ChibiUsa-mama! You’re
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74 the best!” She hugged ChibiUsa tightly, already starting to forget her odd
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75 vision.
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76
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77 They were finally alone. That was the first thought that ran through
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78 ChibiUsa’s
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79 head as she walked hand in hand with Hotaru to the beach house. In the
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80 distance, the two
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81 could hear Haruka’s car driving off. She’d be there to pick them up in a few
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82 days. In the
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83 meantime, that left the lovers alone with each other at the beach house. No
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84 children, no
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85 schoolwork, no responsibility. Juts the wonderful feeling of being together.
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86 They had
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87 come out here to be alone, a birthday present Hotaru had given her so they
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88 could spend
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89 the next few days together without a care in the world. ChibiUsa smiled
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90 brightly at the
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91 dark haired girl, squeezing her hand slightly. The pale girl’s hand
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92 squeezed back as
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93 Hotaru turned to her with a smile.
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94 As they stood in front of the doors, ChibiUsa felt an almost overwhelming
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95 sense
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96 of fear and regret overtake her. As if her whole life would change by
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97 walking through
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98 those doors. She leaned against Hotaru, holding her arm tightly.
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99 “ChibiUsa-chan?” Hotaru looked at her worriedly. Her usually cheerful
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100 complexion was now deathly pale. Hotaru’s arm started to ache from the death
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101 grip
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102 ChibiUsa had on it. The raven haired girl started to panic, barely holding
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103 herself in check
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104 for ChibiUsa’s sake. This was so unlike the vibrant future princess. What
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105 could be so
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106 horribly wrong?
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107 Taking a deep, soothing breath, ChibiUsa smiled calmly at Hotaru,
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108 suppressing
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109 the wave of emotions that had passed over her. “Its nothing. I just haven’t
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110 been getting
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111 much sleep lately because of the twins. And Kousagi’s been keeping me up
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112 whenever
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113 I’m at my house, so that’s it.” She giggled at the skeptical look Hotaru
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114 threw her.
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115 “Really, its nothing. You worry too much, Hota-chan. Let’s just enjoy
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116 ourselves. You and
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117 me.”
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118 Beautiful crimson eyes gazed brightly at her as the future princess’s arm
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119 went
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120 around Hotaru’s waist. Hotaru felt herself relaxing in ChibiUsa’s grasp. If
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121 ChibiUsa was
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122 okay, then there really wasn’t anything for her to be worrying about. The
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123 nervousness
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124 slowly started to ebb away, replaced by a warm feeling her heart as her
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125 violet eyes befell
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126 the pink haired goddess before her. Hotaru smiled softly. “Hai, its your
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127 birthday, so if
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128 that’s what you want to do, I’m all for it.” Leaning forward, her lips
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129 lightly brushed
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130 ChibiUsa’s. “Happy birthday, Odango-chan.”
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131 “I can’t think of a better way to spend my birthday,” ChibiUsa said,
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132 grinning.
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133
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134 ChibiUsa rolled over for what had to be the eighth time that night.
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135 No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get to sleep. And that usually
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136 wasn't a problem for her whenever she had Hotaru right beside her. Their
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137 clothes lay scattered on the floor, their bodies entangled under the sheets.
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138 ChibiUsa held the frail girl close, the feel of her bare skin reminding her
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139 of the passionate moment they'd shared not long ago. The raven haired girl,
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140 who had enough trouble sleeping normally, was fast asleep next to her. She
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141 was tired after what they'd done, but she couldn't get to sleep. Closing her
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142 eyes just made matters worse. She sighed, her hands covering her face in
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143 frustration. Why was it bothering her? She knew she loved Hotaru, that's
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144 all that mattered. So why couldn't she get to sleep? All day, Hotaru had
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145 been
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146 pretending nothing was wrong, trying to hide her worry while ChibiUsa had
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147 been dancing around the subject and trying to reassure Hotaru that
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148 everything was alright. Neither had been able to enjoy themselves because
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149 of how she was acting. Sitting up in bed, the pink haired girl slowly
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150 disentangled herself from her sleeping lover. She knew she wouldn’t be
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151 getting any sleep tonight.
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152 Her thoughts in a jumble, ChibiUsa slipped off the bed, her toes
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153 moving against the soft feel of the carpet. Tilting her head to the side,
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154 ChibiUsa gazed at the raven haired girl alone in the bed for a what felt
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155 like
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156 an eternity. Her fingers gingerly followed the contours of Hotaru’s
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157 beautiful
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158 face, brushing past her soft lips, warm cheeks, and finally through
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159 midnight black hair. She leaned down, brushing some of Hotaru’s dark hair
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160 back. Her lips gently pressed against Hotaru’s as her fingers stroked down
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161 to the pale girl’s neck. Something wet rolled down ChibiUsa’s cheek down
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162 to Hotaru’s, startling the pink haired girl. Slowly pulling away, a hand
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163 went
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164 to her face. Another tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m crying? Why am I
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165 crying?” she asked herself in a daze. The pink haired girl balled up her
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166 fists
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167 in frustration, shutting her eyes tightly as a wave of sadness swept through
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168 her body. An icy pit formed in her stomach as more tears started falling.
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169 ‘I’m supposed to be happy. I’ve got everything I could ever want. I have
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170 you, Hota-chan. I love you.” A sob punctuated her declaration of love, her
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171 hand wiping at the still forming tears in her crimson eyes.
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172 Looking down at Hotaru, ChibiUsa’s fingers lightly brushed her
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173 cheek again. Part of her wanted to wake the sleeping angel, to try to tell
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174 her
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175 the jumble of emotions going through her. But she couldn’t bring herself to
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176 wake the raven haired girl up. Each time she’d try, she stopped herself just
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177 before she could. What would Hotaru think? She wouldn’t think… ChibiUsa
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178 pulled her hand away from Hotaru’s pale skin as if burned. Selene’s words
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179 burst into her mind. ‘That you didn’t love her enough…’ She shook her head
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180 violently, her hands going through her pink hair as a lonely wail escaped
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181 her lips. “That
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182 can’t be it. It can’t be….” She desperately wanted to shake Hotaru awake, to
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183 tell her just
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184 how much she loved her, to here Hotaru tell her she knows, that she’s always
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185 known. But
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186 ChibiUsa still couldn’t bring herself to disturb the raven haired girl’s
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187 peaceful slumber.
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188 So often, Hotaru would look tormented in her sleep. This would just ruin one
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189 of the few
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190 restful slumbers that Hotaru’s had. “I’m being selfish, Hota-chan. I’ll be
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191 okay. I can
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192 handle this.”
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193 With that, the future princess headed out the door of their bedroom,
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194 padding
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195 across the plush carpet. At first she didn’t know where she was going, but
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196 she quickly
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197 realized the path she was taking. The Mirror. Of course! How could she have
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198 been so
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199 blind? Michiru had lent ChibiUsa her hand mirror for their trip to the beach
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200 house, telling
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201 her the talisman would keep them safe. The mirror could show the truth, no
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202 matter how
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203 hidden it may be. She could easily look into that to see how deep her
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204 feelings for Hotaru
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205 ran. After proving them to her satisfaction, she could be off to bed and
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206 cuddling with her
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207 firefly. She grinned happily as she made her way to the mirror, lying unused
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208 on a table in
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209 the living room. ChibiUsa felt almost dizzy as she picked up the mirror. It
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210 was cold to the
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211 touch. Something in the back of her mind told her to put it down, that how
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212 dare she
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213 question their love. Afterall, it didn’t matter that Hotaru’s hair wasn’t
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214 pink. She wet her
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215 parched lips nervously, the icy pit in her stomach returning a hundred fold.
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216 Holding the
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217 mirror up, she gazed into it. Rather than a direct reflection, the image in
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218 the mirror was of
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219 her as a princess. The truth. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the warnings in
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220 the back of
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221 her head, ChibiUsa concentrated on the mirror. “Show me the depths of my
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222 love.”
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223
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224 She ran, ignoring the sharp pain of rocks scraping against the skin of her
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225 bare
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226 feet, ignoring everything as she tried to get further and further away. Her
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227 hair, let down
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228 from its normal odango style for the night, trailed behind her past her
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229 shoulders. Tears
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230 blinded her, blurring her vision, but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered
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231 anymore. Nothing.
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232 Her frantic thoughts swirled about in her mind like a whirlwind, jumbled
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233 beyond
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234 coherency other than the deep pain she felt in her heart.
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235 As she ran along the rocky cliff face, barely even realizing where she was.
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236 She
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237 wiped at her eyes desperately, stinging tears dripping wetly down her
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238 cheeks. ‘Why?!
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239 Why?’ she thought, over and over again, begging for an answer, any answer to
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240 the pain
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241 she felt. Her heart ached deeply, as if she’d been cut open by The Senshi of
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242 Death and
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243 Rebirth herself. Was that how she truly felt? Was that what was to happen?
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244 She didn’t
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245 return Hotaru’s feelings with half the blaze, half the sheer strength that
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246 Hotaru had in her
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247 love for her. ChibiUsa shuddered, feeling cold inside. As if she’d been
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248 drowning in a
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249 freezing river for so long and had only now opened her eyes. What could she
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250 say to
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251 Hotaru? Anything she could say would only hurt her, ChibiUsa was sure. She
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252 hugged
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253 herself tightly, her small body wracked by sobs as she continued her aimless
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254 running, her
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255 only thoughts to escape the horror of her thoughts.
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256 So intent was she upon her fleeing that she never noticed where she was
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257 running. The rocky ledge started to give way beneath her bare feet, a
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258 breathless scream
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259 trapped forever in her lips as she fell. The princess barely felt the
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260 impact, everything
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261 starting to fade out as she hit the shore below. She lay there, tears still
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262 running down her
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263 cheeks, not even realizing she was taking her dying breath. “Taru…”
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264
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265 “ChibiUsa-chan!! ChibiUsa-chan, where are you?! Please, please come back to
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266 me, ChibiUsa-chan….” Hotaru slumped to her knees in defeat, her dark skirt
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267 getting
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268 sullied by the wet sand on the beach. Last night, ChibiUsa had seemed so
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269 upset about
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270 something. She’d gone out to look for the pink haired future princess in the
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271 dark, but she
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272 was nowhere to be found. Hotaru had hoped that she’d gone back to the beach
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273 house, but
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274 no such luck. She had finally cried herself to sleep when she had gotten
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275 back to their
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276 empty bed. Waking up, she had the false hope that she’d be in ChibiUsa’s
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277 arms and that
|
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rlm@0
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278 everything would be alright again. Now she had to wonder if things would
|
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279 ever be alright
|
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280 from then on.
|
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rlm@0
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281 Her black tights and dark clothes barely kept back the biting cold wind
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282 that blew
|
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283 past her. Icy knives raked her face as she stumbled forward, wiping at her
|
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rlm@0
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284 eyes with her
|
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rlm@0
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285 long sleeve. “ChibiUsa-chan…” She wanted to give up, to go back inside the
|
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286 warm house
|
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287 and cry herself back to sleep. She hadn’t slept much the night before, so
|
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rlm@0
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288 why not? What
|
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rlm@0
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289 could she hope to find out here? Something inside her pushed her on,
|
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290 spurring her
|
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rlm@0
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291 forward. Standing up again, the raven haired girl weakly made her way along
|
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292 the beach.
|
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rlm@0
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293 She nearly lost her footing in the wet sand, but kept going after steadying
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rlm@0
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294 herself. She
|
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rlm@0
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295 trudged on and on, the lapping of the waves and the whistling of the wind
|
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rlm@0
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296 the only sounds
|
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297 around her.
|
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rlm@0
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298 About to collapse from exhaustion, the raven haired girl’s attention was
|
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rlm@0
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299 caught
|
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rlm@0
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300 by something up ahead. Something pink. She squinted, trying to make out what
|
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301 it could
|
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302 be, praying that it was the girl she sought. She’d soon come to regret that
|
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rlm@0
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303 as her prayers
|
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rlm@0
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304 were answered. As she ran to the other girl, she quickly noticed that
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305 ChibiUsa wasn’t
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306 moving. Her pink hair was moving back and forth as the wind played with it.
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307 Her
|
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rlm@0
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308 normally immaculate white nightgown was stained with the brown of the wet
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309 sand and
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310 streaks of crimson. Her body was lying in a heap, looking like a rag doll
|
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311 that had been
|
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312 thrown aside.
|
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rlm@0
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313 Hotaru ran as fast as she could, her heart catching in her chest. In her
|
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rlm@0
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314 haste, her
|
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rlm@0
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315 foot caught on a rock, forcing her to tumble to the ground. She got up and
|
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rlm@0
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316 pushed on,
|
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rlm@0
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317 despite the intense pain in her twisted ankle. It couldn’t rival the pain in
|
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318 her heart.
|
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rlm@0
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319 “ChibiUsa-chan!!!” she cried out, almost expecting the pink haired girl to
|
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rlm@0
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320 sit up. Hot
|
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rlm@0
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321 tears poured down her cheeks as she fell to her knees besides the prone
|
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322 future princess.
|
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rlm@0
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323 “ChibiUsa-chan, get up. Please, get up,” the dark haired girl sobbed as her
|
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rlm@0
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324 arms went
|
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rlm@0
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325 around the cold body of her one true love. She held ChibiUsa close, a tear
|
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rlm@0
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326 falling onto
|
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rlm@0
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327 ChibiUsa’s cheek. The pink haired girl’s face looked almost the same as it
|
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rlm@0
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328 had the night
|
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329 before. Her large crimson eyes were glassy and looking up at Hotaru, her
|
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330 normally
|
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rlm@0
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331 vibrant cheeks now pale. Hotaru clutched onto ChibiUsa in her grief. She
|
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rlm@0
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332 felt as if her
|
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rlm@0
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333 heart had been torn from her chest. As if a piece of her, the most important
|
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rlm@0
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334 piece, had
|
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rlm@0
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335 been taken from her. “ChibiUsa-chan… Don’t leave me alone… I’m scared to be
|
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rlm@0
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336 alone..
|
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rlm@0
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337 I need you with me, ChibiUsa-chan… I need you…” she barely managed to get
|
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rlm@0
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338 out
|
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rlm@0
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339 through heart wrenching sobs. The painful realization that her lover was now
|
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rlm@0
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340 dead kept
|
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rlm@0
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341 trying to impose itself on her mind, but she clung to the hope that she’d be
|
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rlm@0
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342 okay, that she
|
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rlm@0
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343 would get up in her arms, returning the embrace.
|
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rlm@0
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344 Hotaru stayed that way for a long time, ignoring everything around her as
|
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rlm@0
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345 she
|
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rlm@0
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346 held the dead princess tightly against her. “Its like she’s asleep… She’s so
|
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rlm@0
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347 pretty when
|
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rlm@0
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348 she’s asleep… Its like you’re taking a nap, ChibiUsa-chan. You sleep well,
|
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rlm@0
|
349 and I’ll be
|
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rlm@0
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350 here when you wake up… I’ll always be here when you awake. Because…” The
|
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rlm@0
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351 dark
|
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rlm@0
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352 haired girl looked intently at the lost love in her arms, tears still
|
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rlm@0
|
353 streaming down her
|
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rlm@0
|
354 cheeks. “I love you.”
|
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rlm@0
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355
|
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rlm@0
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356 A few hours later, a blue sports car stopped in front of the beach house.
|
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rlm@0
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357 A woman with sandy blonde hair stepped out of the car, holding her jacket
|
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rlm@0
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358 tightly
|
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rlm@0
|
359 around her as the sea breeze came in. Smiling to herself, she reached back
|
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rlm@0
|
360 in
|
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rlm@0
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361 the car and pulled out the last of ChibiUsa’s birthday presents, lovingly
|
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rlm@0
|
362 wrapped
|
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rlm@0
|
363 in a deep violet wrapping paper with black lace ribbons. Hotaru had
|
|
rlm@0
|
364 forgotten the
|
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rlm@0
|
365 present she had been going to give ChibiUsa in her haste and Haruka hadn't
|
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rlm@0
|
366 found it in the back of her car until she was well back to the city. She'd
|
|
rlm@0
|
367 decided to
|
|
rlm@0
|
368 stop by the next day and return it to her daughter to give to the ChibiUsa.
|
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rlm@0
|
369 Cinching her jacket around her, the tall woman made her way to the door of
|
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rlm@0
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370 the
|
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rlm@0
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371 beach house and knocked on the door. “Hime-chan! Its me, Haruka-papa,” she
|
|
rlm@0
|
372 said after a few moments. There was no answer. Haruka frowned and tried the
|
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rlm@0
|
373 door. She began to worry as the unlocked door opened. What could have
|
|
rlm@0
|
374 happened to the two girls? She commanded herself to stop worrying. They were
|
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rlm@0
|
375 probably at the beach and left the door open for when they’d come back in.
|
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rlm@0
|
376 Something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She
|
|
rlm@0
|
377 instantly recognized it as Michiru’s mirror. It was lying on the floor near
|
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rlm@0
|
378 one of the
|
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rlm@0
|
379 tables in the living room as if someone had thrown in aside in a hurry.
|
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rlm@0
|
380 Haruka’s
|
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rlm@0
|
381 heart started beating faster as she quickly searched the beach house. Her
|
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rlm@0
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382 surrogate daughter and the future princess were nowhere to be found. Rather
|
|
rlm@0
|
383 than waste time panicking, the blonde woman rushed out of the house, intent
|
|
rlm@0
|
384 on
|
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rlm@0
|
385 finding the two girls. Trudging out towards the beach, she couldn’t help but
|
|
rlm@0
|
386 shiver
|
|
rlm@0
|
387 as the biting wind increased. It was too cold to be swimming. They couldn’t
|
|
rlm@0
|
388 be
|
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rlm@0
|
389 out here for that. Then why… Haruka shook her head. She wouldn’t allow
|
|
rlm@0
|
390 herself
|
|
rlm@0
|
391 to assume the worst yet. First things first. She had to find them.
|
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rlm@0
|
392 After what felt like hours of walking, but must have been considerably
|
|
rlm@0
|
393 less, Haruka thought she heard a faint voice being carried by the wind. A
|
|
rlm@0
|
394 voice
|
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rlm@0
|
395 filled with utter despair and hopelessness. A voice that had lost any of the
|
|
rlm@0
|
396 joy
|
|
rlm@0
|
397 and wonder life had to offer. At first, she thought it was only the wind,
|
|
rlm@0
|
398 but the soft
|
|
rlm@0
|
399 voice continued. Haruka finally caught sight of a girl dressed entirely in
|
|
rlm@0
|
400 black, her
|
|
rlm@0
|
401 rave hair being whipped around by the wind as she clutched onto something
|
|
rlm@0
|
402 protectively. The blonde woman ran to her surrogate daughter, determined to
|
|
rlm@0
|
403 make sure everything was okay. He stopped dead in her tracks when she saw
|
|
rlm@0
|
404 the lifeless form of a once happy pink haired girl in Hotaru’s arms. “My
|
|
rlm@0
|
405 God….”
|
|
rlm@0
|
406 She gasped.
|
|
rlm@0
|
407 Hotaru didn’t even look up, not noticing her Haruka-papa’s arrival. “So
|
|
rlm@0
|
408 pretty when you sleep like this. And I’ll watch over you forever, my
|
|
rlm@0
|
409 sleeping
|
|
rlm@0
|
410 beauty….” Hotaru’s fingers gently brushed over ChibiUsa’s cold lips as she
|
|
rlm@0
|
411 continued rambling semi-coherently. “Forever.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
412
|
|
rlm@0
|
413
|
|
rlm@0
|
414 "It's so cold..." .
|
|
rlm@0
|
415 Ever since what had happened, Hotaru kept a nearly steady monologue.
|
|
rlm@0
|
416 The silence meant she was alone again.. always alone.. forever.. And she
|
|
rlm@0
|
417 didn't
|
|
rlm@0
|
418 want to be left alone. Not now, not ever. Everything that had happened..
|
|
rlm@0
|
419 it
|
|
rlm@0
|
420 was like a whole new person. "It's not me. Silly. I'm watching myself..
|
|
rlm@0
|
421 like
|
|
rlm@0
|
422 on a screen..."
|
|
rlm@0
|
423 All around her, the room seemed bare, stripped of everything. Her
|
|
rlm@0
|
424 normally dark room was even darker without the beautiful shining lamps to
|
|
rlm@0
|
425 soften
|
|
rlm@0
|
426 it. "But the lamps were too dangerous, ne, Michiru-mama? You wouldn't want
|
|
rlm@0
|
427 me
|
|
rlm@0
|
428 to break one and use the glass to slit my wrists. You want me to suffer.."
|
|
rlm@0
|
429 The dark-haired girl, long out of tears, looked over everything she had
|
|
rlm@0
|
430 left. The bed was bare, so she couldn't strangle herself with the sheets.
|
|
rlm@0
|
431 Her
|
|
rlm@0
|
432 beautiful lamps had been replaced by three solemn candles. She only had her
|
|
rlm@0
|
433 books.. her only escape for so many years before was her only option now.
|
|
rlm@0
|
434 Or..
|
|
rlm@0
|
435 That seemed a lifetime ago to the grief-stricken girl. "Oh, back then,
|
|
rlm@0
|
436 no-one cared if I lived or I died.. Kaori-baka would've been GLAD to see me
|
|
rlm@0
|
437 go.
|
|
rlm@0
|
438 And.. if I'd died then... she wouldn't..." Closing her eyes tight and
|
|
rlm@0
|
439 trying
|
|
rlm@0
|
440 to remove the image from her mind, she thought over her options. Ever since
|
|
rlm@0
|
441 her parents set up this suicide watch, after that first night alone, she'd
|
|
rlm@0
|
442 had
|
|
rlm@0
|
443 no privacy, not even a chance to mourn in peace. She'd just been almost
|
|
rlm@0
|
444 locked
|
|
rlm@0
|
445 in her room, from how they treated her outside it, and even then one of them
|
|
rlm@0
|
446 would check on her every few minutes, even if she was asleep.
|
|
rlm@0
|
447 All she had left were her books..
|
|
rlm@0
|
448 "They say history repeats.. I know.. I watched it.. over and over.. An
|
|
rlm@0
|
449 endless loop. I was alone then.. I'm alone now.. oh, ChibiUsa-chan.. why
|
|
rlm@0
|
450 couldn't I have died instead?"
|
|
rlm@0
|
451 The desk was gone. The shelves, the table, the chairs - all taken out.
|
|
rlm@0
|
452 All that was left were her books and her bed.. and the candles. Near a
|
|
rlm@0
|
453 corner,
|
|
rlm@0
|
454 the remains of her diary sat. She'd tried to communicate that way, writing
|
|
rlm@0
|
455 everything using the stub of a pencil Setsuna-mama had finally agreed to
|
|
rlm@0
|
456 give
|
|
rlm@0
|
457 her. After the first hundred pages or so, she'd realized she wasn't making
|
|
rlm@0
|
458 any
|
|
rlm@0
|
459 sense at all, and questioned the point of it. But, then again, what were
|
|
rlm@0
|
460 all
|
|
rlm@0
|
461 of her diaries for? All the secrets, every little thing, kept in meticulous
|
|
rlm@0
|
462 detail... "No-one could understand. I couldn't let them understnd. They'd
|
|
rlm@0
|
463 see
|
|
rlm@0
|
464 and they wouldn't understand.. the only person who could ever understand is
|
|
rlm@0
|
465 dead. Saturn! Where are you now? If you're truly the Messiah, reigning
|
|
rlm@0
|
466 over
|
|
rlm@0
|
467 Death and Rebirth, then tell me why!"
|
|
rlm@0
|
468 But, then, an idea came.. and in her broken mind, with its broken soul,
|
|
rlm@0
|
469 living a lifeless shell in a grey world without even the comfort of trust,
|
|
rlm@0
|
470 it
|
|
rlm@0
|
471 made perfect sense.
|
|
rlm@0
|
472 No-one would understand. So why let them try?
|
|
rlm@0
|
473 She stood, shakily, blinking and wiping her bloodshot eyes. It would
|
|
rlm@0
|
474 still be a few minutes at least, until someone checked on her. Praying it
|
|
rlm@0
|
475 would be long enough, she set to work, seperating her books from her diaries
|
|
rlm@0
|
476 and journals, her secrets.. Making a pile, she begin to organize it all,
|
|
rlm@0
|
477 bit
|
|
rlm@0
|
478 by bit, working slowly and carefully. It was almost time.
|
|
rlm@0
|
479 Her work was interrupted by a knock at her door. "Hime-chan? Is
|
|
rlm@0
|
480 everything okay?" It was Haruka-papa, come to make sure she hadn't died.
|
|
rlm@0
|
481 Not responding, she waited for the blonde woman to open the door and
|
|
rlm@0
|
482 check. "Hime-chan?" The door slowly creaked open, and Haruka stuck her
|
|
rlm@0
|
483 head
|
|
rlm@0
|
484 inside. "I know it's hard for you, Hime-chan. But we have to be sure."
|
|
rlm@0
|
485 When
|
|
rlm@0
|
486 Hotaru didn't even bother to look up, Haruka just sighed and shut the door
|
|
rlm@0
|
487 again.
|
|
rlm@0
|
488 Alone once more, the girl set her plan into motion. Tearing pages out,
|
|
rlm@0
|
489 shredding some, pulling some into strips, leaving some notebooks whole, she
|
|
rlm@0
|
490 prepared. All of her work, everything she had left, everything she was.. it
|
|
rlm@0
|
491 was all here. And with a touch of the candle..
|
|
rlm@0
|
492 It took a minute or so to catch. Hotaru blew on the small fire,
|
|
rlm@0
|
493 letting it grow at its own pace. She knew that the smoke alarm's batteries
|
|
rlm@0
|
494 had
|
|
rlm@0
|
495 been dead for weeks, and since everyone was asleep or downstairs, there'd be
|
|
rlm@0
|
496 no-one to stop her. Page by page, she fed the fire.. whole years of her
|
|
rlm@0
|
497 life,
|
|
rlm@0
|
498 burning away. "It's warm, ChibiUsa-chan.. can you feel it? It's not like
|
|
rlm@0
|
499 everything else.. This is how it has to be, now. If I can't die.. I'll
|
|
rlm@0
|
500 make
|
|
rlm@0
|
501 it so I was never around in the first place. Without these for people to
|
|
rlm@0
|
502 remember me by, I'll just fade away. No-one cares but you, ChibiUsa-chan..
|
|
rlm@0
|
503 no-one.... They want me to live on, forget the past. Find someone to
|
|
rlm@0
|
504 console
|
|
rlm@0
|
505 me and love me. Be happy. I've never been happy, ChibiUsa-chan. I can't
|
|
rlm@0
|
506 ever
|
|
rlm@0
|
507 remember being happy. Not without you..."
|
|
rlm@0
|
508 The flickering flames glittered, reflected in her sad, tired eyes.. so
|
|
rlm@0
|
509 tired, so old.. dead.
|
|
rlm@0
|
510 The fire spread to the floor, spread through the room. By now, it was
|
|
rlm@0
|
511 quite obvious that the room was ablaze, if not the whole house. And Haruka,
|
|
rlm@0
|
512 just now noticing the smell, was quick to run up and check on her
|
|
rlm@0
|
513 dark-haired
|
|
rlm@0
|
514 princess. Sirens could be heard, off in the distance.. a neighbor saw the
|
|
rlm@0
|
515 flame, the firefighters would arrive soon.
|
|
rlm@0
|
516 Haruka arrived just in time to pull the firefly from the heart of the
|
|
rlm@0
|
517 fire before anything more than her hair and clothes were singed. The girl
|
|
rlm@0
|
518 was
|
|
rlm@0
|
519 unconscious, passed out from the lack of sleep and the fumes of the books'
|
|
rlm@0
|
520 bindings as they caught.
|
|
rlm@0
|
521
|
|
rlm@0
|
522 Two figures watched from the shadows.
|
|
rlm@0
|
523 Children.
|
|
rlm@0
|
524 It almost seemed they were part of the background.. a piece that
|
|
rlm@0
|
525 doesn't quite fit, that everyone overlooks..
|
|
rlm@0
|
526 One spoke. Her voice quiet, almost detached.
|
|
rlm@0
|
527 "Shisa?"
|
|
rlm@0
|
528 "Yes, Selene?"
|
|
rlm@0
|
529 "Do you think we went too far? I mean.."
|
|
rlm@0
|
530 They watched, as their mother was revived by her Haruka-papa. As she
|
|
rlm@0
|
531 was doomed to ever live, lifeless.
|
|
rlm@0
|
532 "Yes, Selene."
|
|
rlm@0
|
533 "Oh.. look, Shisa! I can see through us. We're fading.... Shisa?"
|
|
rlm@0
|
534 "Yes, Selene?"
|
|
rlm@0
|
535 "I am the wind.. look! Whoosh!"
|
|
rlm@0
|
536 A gust of wind came, as the window was broken in by a firefighter.
|
|
rlm@0
|
537 The two figures seemed to dissipate, with the smoke..
|
|
rlm@0
|
538
|
