rlm@0: We’d like to thank Boco the Chokobo, because without his help, this story rlm@0: would never have been finished, especially not in time for ChibiUsa’s rlm@0: birthday. ^-^ rlm@0: rlm@0: Farewell rlm@0: By the Amazoness Quartet rlm@0: rlm@0: rlm@0: ChibiUsa sighed anxiously. It was a beautiful day outside, but that rlm@0: was far from her mind. A certain dark haired girl was the focus of it, but rlm@0: that wasn't anything new. She was waiting for Hotaru to finish getting rlm@0: dressed so they could leave for Hotaru's father's beach house where they'd rlm@0: spend the next few days together. Alone this time. ChibiUsa couldn't help rlm@0: but smile at the idea of being alone with Hotaru. She'd already had a rlm@0: birthday party earlier today with the others and now she'd be able to enjoy rlm@0: the rest of it with the one person she wished to share everything with. rlm@0: rlm@0: A wailing noise snapped her out of her thoughts. It took her a rlm@0: moment to realize it was the sound of a child crying. Knowing that both of rlm@0: their twin daughters that had come back from the future were somewhere rlm@0: in the house, it had to be something wrong for one of them. Heading down rlm@0: the stairs quickly, she tried to pinpoint where the sobbing was coming from. rlm@0: Selene looked up teary eyed at ChibiUsa. The future princess kneeled down rlm@0: worriedly next to the younger girl. “Selene, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” rlm@0: Selene just wiped at her eyes tearfully, taking a shuddering breath before rlm@0: looking up at her the woman that would one day be her mother. rlm@0: “ChibiUsa-mama, do you rlm@0: really love Hotaru-mama?” she asked in almost a hushed whisper. rlm@0: ChibiUsa was taken aback. Why did the little girl ask that? Was there any rlm@0: question? Brushing a hand through her pink hair, she just blinked a few rlm@0: times. “Of course rlm@0: I do. She’s everything to me.” rlm@0: Selene sniffled, wiping her eyes shakily with the back of her hand. rlm@0: “Re…Really?” rlm@0: The pink haired girl nodded quickly to dispel the younger girl’s fears, rlm@0: wiping a rlm@0: tear from her cheek. She smiled gently at Selene. “Really. She’s everything rlm@0: to me. I love rlm@0: your Hotaru-mama with all my heart.” This seemed to appease the younger rlm@0: girl, drawing rlm@0: forth a small smile from her. ChibiUsa smiled softly, but something still rlm@0: concerned her. rlm@0: Something felt wrong… “Why did you ask?” rlm@0: The dark haired odangoed girl rubbed at her eyes with small fists before rlm@0: looking rlm@0: up at ChibiUsa again. “An angel told me. She was really pretty, with pink rlm@0: hair kinda like rlm@0: yours, but it was past her shoulders. She was all shimmery and had a white rlm@0: dress on that rlm@0: was really long and pretty, too. She said that it wasn’t enough.” rlm@0: “That what wasn’t enough?” ChibiUsa asked encouragingly, wanting to know rlm@0: what had gotten the younger girl so upset. rlm@0: “That you didn’t love her enough…” Selene said quietly, looking down. rlm@0: ChibiUsa shook her head emphatically. “No, that’s absurd. I love Hotaru rlm@0: more rlm@0: than anything. How could I not love her enough?” she demanded, her heart rlm@0: starting to rlm@0: ache from the very idea. rlm@0: “I.. I don’t know…” Selene barely got out, on the verge of tears. rlm@0: ChibiUsa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. It was nothing, just a rlm@0: figment of rlm@0: Selene’s imagination. Sure it was kind of odd, but that was just not even rlm@0: worth worrying rlm@0: about. Of course she loved Hotaru enough. She slowly smiled again, hugging rlm@0: the smaller rlm@0: girl. “It’s going to be alright, Selene. Whatever it was, it was wrong. I rlm@0: love Hotaru with rlm@0: all my heart.” ChibiUsa’s words reassured both herself and Selene. Smiling a rlm@0: little rlm@0: brighter, ChibiUsa tilted her head to the side. “Want to get some ice cream? rlm@0: We can rlm@0: forget all about this.” rlm@0: Selene jumped up and down excitedly. “Hai!! Thanks, ChibiUsa-mama! You’re rlm@0: the best!” She hugged ChibiUsa tightly, already starting to forget her odd rlm@0: vision. rlm@0: rlm@0: They were finally alone. That was the first thought that ran through rlm@0: ChibiUsa’s rlm@0: head as she walked hand in hand with Hotaru to the beach house. In the rlm@0: distance, the two rlm@0: could hear Haruka’s car driving off. She’d be there to pick them up in a few rlm@0: days. In the rlm@0: meantime, that left the lovers alone with each other at the beach house. No rlm@0: children, no rlm@0: schoolwork, no responsibility. Juts the wonderful feeling of being together. rlm@0: They had rlm@0: come out here to be alone, a birthday present Hotaru had given her so they rlm@0: could spend rlm@0: the next few days together without a care in the world. ChibiUsa smiled rlm@0: brightly at the rlm@0: dark haired girl, squeezing her hand slightly. The pale girl’s hand rlm@0: squeezed back as rlm@0: Hotaru turned to her with a smile. rlm@0: As they stood in front of the doors, ChibiUsa felt an almost overwhelming rlm@0: sense rlm@0: of fear and regret overtake her. As if her whole life would change by rlm@0: walking through rlm@0: those doors. She leaned against Hotaru, holding her arm tightly. rlm@0: “ChibiUsa-chan?” Hotaru looked at her worriedly. Her usually cheerful rlm@0: complexion was now deathly pale. Hotaru’s arm started to ache from the death rlm@0: grip rlm@0: ChibiUsa had on it. The raven haired girl started to panic, barely holding rlm@0: herself in check rlm@0: for ChibiUsa’s sake. This was so unlike the vibrant future princess. What rlm@0: could be so rlm@0: horribly wrong? rlm@0: Taking a deep, soothing breath, ChibiUsa smiled calmly at Hotaru, rlm@0: suppressing rlm@0: the wave of emotions that had passed over her. “Its nothing. I just haven’t rlm@0: been getting rlm@0: much sleep lately because of the twins. And Kousagi’s been keeping me up rlm@0: whenever rlm@0: I’m at my house, so that’s it.” She giggled at the skeptical look Hotaru rlm@0: threw her. rlm@0: “Really, its nothing. You worry too much, Hota-chan. Let’s just enjoy rlm@0: ourselves. You and rlm@0: me.” rlm@0: Beautiful crimson eyes gazed brightly at her as the future princess’s arm rlm@0: went rlm@0: around Hotaru’s waist. Hotaru felt herself relaxing in ChibiUsa’s grasp. If rlm@0: ChibiUsa was rlm@0: okay, then there really wasn’t anything for her to be worrying about. The rlm@0: nervousness rlm@0: slowly started to ebb away, replaced by a warm feeling her heart as her rlm@0: violet eyes befell rlm@0: the pink haired goddess before her. Hotaru smiled softly. “Hai, its your rlm@0: birthday, so if rlm@0: that’s what you want to do, I’m all for it.” Leaning forward, her lips rlm@0: lightly brushed rlm@0: ChibiUsa’s. “Happy birthday, Odango-chan.” rlm@0: “I can’t think of a better way to spend my birthday,” ChibiUsa said, rlm@0: grinning. rlm@0: rlm@0: ChibiUsa rolled over for what had to be the eighth time that night. rlm@0: No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get to sleep. And that usually rlm@0: wasn't a problem for her whenever she had Hotaru right beside her. Their rlm@0: clothes lay scattered on the floor, their bodies entangled under the sheets. rlm@0: ChibiUsa held the frail girl close, the feel of her bare skin reminding her rlm@0: of the passionate moment they'd shared not long ago. The raven haired girl, rlm@0: who had enough trouble sleeping normally, was fast asleep next to her. She rlm@0: was tired after what they'd done, but she couldn't get to sleep. Closing her rlm@0: eyes just made matters worse. She sighed, her hands covering her face in rlm@0: frustration. Why was it bothering her? She knew she loved Hotaru, that's rlm@0: all that mattered. So why couldn't she get to sleep? All day, Hotaru had rlm@0: been rlm@0: pretending nothing was wrong, trying to hide her worry while ChibiUsa had rlm@0: been dancing around the subject and trying to reassure Hotaru that rlm@0: everything was alright. Neither had been able to enjoy themselves because rlm@0: of how she was acting. Sitting up in bed, the pink haired girl slowly rlm@0: disentangled herself from her sleeping lover. She knew she wouldn’t be rlm@0: getting any sleep tonight. rlm@0: Her thoughts in a jumble, ChibiUsa slipped off the bed, her toes rlm@0: moving against the soft feel of the carpet. Tilting her head to the side, rlm@0: ChibiUsa gazed at the raven haired girl alone in the bed for a what felt rlm@0: like rlm@0: an eternity. Her fingers gingerly followed the contours of Hotaru’s rlm@0: beautiful rlm@0: face, brushing past her soft lips, warm cheeks, and finally through rlm@0: midnight black hair. She leaned down, brushing some of Hotaru’s dark hair rlm@0: back. Her lips gently pressed against Hotaru’s as her fingers stroked down rlm@0: to the pale girl’s neck. Something wet rolled down ChibiUsa’s cheek down rlm@0: to Hotaru’s, startling the pink haired girl. Slowly pulling away, a hand rlm@0: went rlm@0: to her face. Another tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m crying? Why am I rlm@0: crying?” she asked herself in a daze. The pink haired girl balled up her rlm@0: fists rlm@0: in frustration, shutting her eyes tightly as a wave of sadness swept through rlm@0: her body. An icy pit formed in her stomach as more tears started falling. rlm@0: ‘I’m supposed to be happy. I’ve got everything I could ever want. I have rlm@0: you, Hota-chan. I love you.” A sob punctuated her declaration of love, her rlm@0: hand wiping at the still forming tears in her crimson eyes. rlm@0: Looking down at Hotaru, ChibiUsa’s fingers lightly brushed her rlm@0: cheek again. Part of her wanted to wake the sleeping angel, to try to tell rlm@0: her rlm@0: the jumble of emotions going through her. But she couldn’t bring herself to rlm@0: wake the raven haired girl up. Each time she’d try, she stopped herself just rlm@0: before she could. What would Hotaru think? She wouldn’t think… ChibiUsa rlm@0: pulled her hand away from Hotaru’s pale skin as if burned. Selene’s words rlm@0: burst into her mind. ‘That you didn’t love her enough…’ She shook her head rlm@0: violently, her hands going through her pink hair as a lonely wail escaped rlm@0: her lips. “That rlm@0: can’t be it. It can’t be….” She desperately wanted to shake Hotaru awake, to rlm@0: tell her just rlm@0: how much she loved her, to here Hotaru tell her she knows, that she’s always rlm@0: known. But rlm@0: ChibiUsa still couldn’t bring herself to disturb the raven haired girl’s rlm@0: peaceful slumber. rlm@0: So often, Hotaru would look tormented in her sleep. This would just ruin one rlm@0: of the few rlm@0: restful slumbers that Hotaru’s had. “I’m being selfish, Hota-chan. I’ll be rlm@0: okay. I can rlm@0: handle this.” rlm@0: With that, the future princess headed out the door of their bedroom, rlm@0: padding rlm@0: across the plush carpet. At first she didn’t know where she was going, but rlm@0: she quickly rlm@0: realized the path she was taking. The Mirror. Of course! How could she have rlm@0: been so rlm@0: blind? Michiru had lent ChibiUsa her hand mirror for their trip to the beach rlm@0: house, telling rlm@0: her the talisman would keep them safe. The mirror could show the truth, no rlm@0: matter how rlm@0: hidden it may be. She could easily look into that to see how deep her rlm@0: feelings for Hotaru rlm@0: ran. After proving them to her satisfaction, she could be off to bed and rlm@0: cuddling with her rlm@0: firefly. She grinned happily as she made her way to the mirror, lying unused rlm@0: on a table in rlm@0: the living room. ChibiUsa felt almost dizzy as she picked up the mirror. It rlm@0: was cold to the rlm@0: touch. Something in the back of her mind told her to put it down, that how rlm@0: dare she rlm@0: question their love. Afterall, it didn’t matter that Hotaru’s hair wasn’t rlm@0: pink. She wet her rlm@0: parched lips nervously, the icy pit in her stomach returning a hundred fold. rlm@0: Holding the rlm@0: mirror up, she gazed into it. Rather than a direct reflection, the image in rlm@0: the mirror was of rlm@0: her as a princess. The truth. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the warnings in rlm@0: the back of rlm@0: her head, ChibiUsa concentrated on the mirror. “Show me the depths of my rlm@0: love.” rlm@0: rlm@0: She ran, ignoring the sharp pain of rocks scraping against the skin of her rlm@0: bare rlm@0: feet, ignoring everything as she tried to get further and further away. Her rlm@0: hair, let down rlm@0: from its normal odango style for the night, trailed behind her past her rlm@0: shoulders. Tears rlm@0: blinded her, blurring her vision, but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered rlm@0: anymore. Nothing. rlm@0: Her frantic thoughts swirled about in her mind like a whirlwind, jumbled rlm@0: beyond rlm@0: coherency other than the deep pain she felt in her heart. rlm@0: As she ran along the rocky cliff face, barely even realizing where she was. rlm@0: She rlm@0: wiped at her eyes desperately, stinging tears dripping wetly down her rlm@0: cheeks. ‘Why?! rlm@0: Why?’ she thought, over and over again, begging for an answer, any answer to rlm@0: the pain rlm@0: she felt. Her heart ached deeply, as if she’d been cut open by The Senshi of rlm@0: Death and rlm@0: Rebirth herself. Was that how she truly felt? Was that what was to happen? rlm@0: She didn’t rlm@0: return Hotaru’s feelings with half the blaze, half the sheer strength that rlm@0: Hotaru had in her rlm@0: love for her. ChibiUsa shuddered, feeling cold inside. As if she’d been rlm@0: drowning in a rlm@0: freezing river for so long and had only now opened her eyes. What could she rlm@0: say to rlm@0: Hotaru? Anything she could say would only hurt her, ChibiUsa was sure. She rlm@0: hugged rlm@0: herself tightly, her small body wracked by sobs as she continued her aimless rlm@0: running, her rlm@0: only thoughts to escape the horror of her thoughts. rlm@0: So intent was she upon her fleeing that she never noticed where she was rlm@0: running. The rocky ledge started to give way beneath her bare feet, a rlm@0: breathless scream rlm@0: trapped forever in her lips as she fell. The princess barely felt the rlm@0: impact, everything rlm@0: starting to fade out as she hit the shore below. She lay there, tears still rlm@0: running down her rlm@0: cheeks, not even realizing she was taking her dying breath. “Taru…” rlm@0: rlm@0: “ChibiUsa-chan!! ChibiUsa-chan, where are you?! Please, please come back to rlm@0: me, ChibiUsa-chan….” Hotaru slumped to her knees in defeat, her dark skirt rlm@0: getting rlm@0: sullied by the wet sand on the beach. Last night, ChibiUsa had seemed so rlm@0: upset about rlm@0: something. She’d gone out to look for the pink haired future princess in the rlm@0: dark, but she rlm@0: was nowhere to be found. Hotaru had hoped that she’d gone back to the beach rlm@0: house, but rlm@0: no such luck. She had finally cried herself to sleep when she had gotten rlm@0: back to their rlm@0: empty bed. Waking up, she had the false hope that she’d be in ChibiUsa’s rlm@0: arms and that rlm@0: everything would be alright again. Now she had to wonder if things would rlm@0: ever be alright rlm@0: from then on. rlm@0: Her black tights and dark clothes barely kept back the biting cold wind rlm@0: that blew rlm@0: past her. Icy knives raked her face as she stumbled forward, wiping at her rlm@0: eyes with her rlm@0: long sleeve. “ChibiUsa-chan…” She wanted to give up, to go back inside the rlm@0: warm house rlm@0: and cry herself back to sleep. She hadn’t slept much the night before, so rlm@0: why not? What rlm@0: could she hope to find out here? Something inside her pushed her on, rlm@0: spurring her rlm@0: forward. Standing up again, the raven haired girl weakly made her way along rlm@0: the beach. rlm@0: She nearly lost her footing in the wet sand, but kept going after steadying rlm@0: herself. She rlm@0: trudged on and on, the lapping of the waves and the whistling of the wind rlm@0: the only sounds rlm@0: around her. rlm@0: About to collapse from exhaustion, the raven haired girl’s attention was rlm@0: caught rlm@0: by something up ahead. Something pink. She squinted, trying to make out what rlm@0: it could rlm@0: be, praying that it was the girl she sought. She’d soon come to regret that rlm@0: as her prayers rlm@0: were answered. As she ran to the other girl, she quickly noticed that rlm@0: ChibiUsa wasn’t rlm@0: moving. Her pink hair was moving back and forth as the wind played with it. rlm@0: Her rlm@0: normally immaculate white nightgown was stained with the brown of the wet rlm@0: sand and rlm@0: streaks of crimson. Her body was lying in a heap, looking like a rag doll rlm@0: that had been rlm@0: thrown aside. rlm@0: Hotaru ran as fast as she could, her heart catching in her chest. In her rlm@0: haste, her rlm@0: foot caught on a rock, forcing her to tumble to the ground. She got up and rlm@0: pushed on, rlm@0: despite the intense pain in her twisted ankle. It couldn’t rival the pain in rlm@0: her heart. rlm@0: “ChibiUsa-chan!!!” she cried out, almost expecting the pink haired girl to rlm@0: sit up. Hot rlm@0: tears poured down her cheeks as she fell to her knees besides the prone rlm@0: future princess. rlm@0: “ChibiUsa-chan, get up. Please, get up,” the dark haired girl sobbed as her rlm@0: arms went rlm@0: around the cold body of her one true love. She held ChibiUsa close, a tear rlm@0: falling onto rlm@0: ChibiUsa’s cheek. The pink haired girl’s face looked almost the same as it rlm@0: had the night rlm@0: before. Her large crimson eyes were glassy and looking up at Hotaru, her rlm@0: normally rlm@0: vibrant cheeks now pale. Hotaru clutched onto ChibiUsa in her grief. She rlm@0: felt as if her rlm@0: heart had been torn from her chest. As if a piece of her, the most important rlm@0: piece, had rlm@0: been taken from her. “ChibiUsa-chan… Don’t leave me alone… I’m scared to be rlm@0: alone.. rlm@0: I need you with me, ChibiUsa-chan… I need you…” she barely managed to get rlm@0: out rlm@0: through heart wrenching sobs. The painful realization that her lover was now rlm@0: dead kept rlm@0: trying to impose itself on her mind, but she clung to the hope that she’d be rlm@0: okay, that she rlm@0: would get up in her arms, returning the embrace. rlm@0: Hotaru stayed that way for a long time, ignoring everything around her as rlm@0: she rlm@0: held the dead princess tightly against her. “Its like she’s asleep… She’s so rlm@0: pretty when rlm@0: she’s asleep… Its like you’re taking a nap, ChibiUsa-chan. You sleep well, rlm@0: and I’ll be rlm@0: here when you wake up… I’ll always be here when you awake. Because…” The rlm@0: dark rlm@0: haired girl looked intently at the lost love in her arms, tears still rlm@0: streaming down her rlm@0: cheeks. “I love you.” rlm@0: rlm@0: A few hours later, a blue sports car stopped in front of the beach house. rlm@0: A woman with sandy blonde hair stepped out of the car, holding her jacket rlm@0: tightly rlm@0: around her as the sea breeze came in. Smiling to herself, she reached back rlm@0: in rlm@0: the car and pulled out the last of ChibiUsa’s birthday presents, lovingly rlm@0: wrapped rlm@0: in a deep violet wrapping paper with black lace ribbons. Hotaru had rlm@0: forgotten the rlm@0: present she had been going to give ChibiUsa in her haste and Haruka hadn't rlm@0: found it in the back of her car until she was well back to the city. She'd rlm@0: decided to rlm@0: stop by the next day and return it to her daughter to give to the ChibiUsa. rlm@0: Cinching her jacket around her, the tall woman made her way to the door of rlm@0: the rlm@0: beach house and knocked on the door. “Hime-chan! Its me, Haruka-papa,” she rlm@0: said after a few moments. There was no answer. Haruka frowned and tried the rlm@0: door. She began to worry as the unlocked door opened. What could have rlm@0: happened to the two girls? She commanded herself to stop worrying. They were rlm@0: probably at the beach and left the door open for when they’d come back in. rlm@0: Something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She rlm@0: instantly recognized it as Michiru’s mirror. It was lying on the floor near rlm@0: one of the rlm@0: tables in the living room as if someone had thrown in aside in a hurry. rlm@0: Haruka’s rlm@0: heart started beating faster as she quickly searched the beach house. Her rlm@0: surrogate daughter and the future princess were nowhere to be found. Rather rlm@0: than waste time panicking, the blonde woman rushed out of the house, intent rlm@0: on rlm@0: finding the two girls. Trudging out towards the beach, she couldn’t help but rlm@0: shiver rlm@0: as the biting wind increased. It was too cold to be swimming. They couldn’t rlm@0: be rlm@0: out here for that. Then why… Haruka shook her head. She wouldn’t allow rlm@0: herself rlm@0: to assume the worst yet. First things first. She had to find them. rlm@0: After what felt like hours of walking, but must have been considerably rlm@0: less, Haruka thought she heard a faint voice being carried by the wind. A rlm@0: voice rlm@0: filled with utter despair and hopelessness. A voice that had lost any of the rlm@0: joy rlm@0: and wonder life had to offer. At first, she thought it was only the wind, rlm@0: but the soft rlm@0: voice continued. Haruka finally caught sight of a girl dressed entirely in rlm@0: black, her rlm@0: rave hair being whipped around by the wind as she clutched onto something rlm@0: protectively. The blonde woman ran to her surrogate daughter, determined to rlm@0: make sure everything was okay. He stopped dead in her tracks when she saw rlm@0: the lifeless form of a once happy pink haired girl in Hotaru’s arms. “My rlm@0: God….” rlm@0: She gasped. rlm@0: Hotaru didn’t even look up, not noticing her Haruka-papa’s arrival. “So rlm@0: pretty when you sleep like this. And I’ll watch over you forever, my rlm@0: sleeping rlm@0: beauty….” Hotaru’s fingers gently brushed over ChibiUsa’s cold lips as she rlm@0: continued rambling semi-coherently. “Forever.” rlm@0: rlm@0: rlm@0: "It's so cold..." . rlm@0: Ever since what had happened, Hotaru kept a nearly steady monologue. rlm@0: The silence meant she was alone again.. always alone.. forever.. And she rlm@0: didn't rlm@0: want to be left alone. Not now, not ever. Everything that had happened.. rlm@0: it rlm@0: was like a whole new person. "It's not me. Silly. I'm watching myself.. rlm@0: like rlm@0: on a screen..." rlm@0: All around her, the room seemed bare, stripped of everything. Her rlm@0: normally dark room was even darker without the beautiful shining lamps to rlm@0: soften rlm@0: it. "But the lamps were too dangerous, ne, Michiru-mama? You wouldn't want rlm@0: me rlm@0: to break one and use the glass to slit my wrists. You want me to suffer.." rlm@0: The dark-haired girl, long out of tears, looked over everything she had rlm@0: left. The bed was bare, so she couldn't strangle herself with the sheets. rlm@0: Her rlm@0: beautiful lamps had been replaced by three solemn candles. She only had her rlm@0: books.. her only escape for so many years before was her only option now. rlm@0: Or.. rlm@0: That seemed a lifetime ago to the grief-stricken girl. "Oh, back then, rlm@0: no-one cared if I lived or I died.. Kaori-baka would've been GLAD to see me rlm@0: go. rlm@0: And.. if I'd died then... she wouldn't..." Closing her eyes tight and rlm@0: trying rlm@0: to remove the image from her mind, she thought over her options. Ever since rlm@0: her parents set up this suicide watch, after that first night alone, she'd rlm@0: had rlm@0: no privacy, not even a chance to mourn in peace. She'd just been almost rlm@0: locked rlm@0: in her room, from how they treated her outside it, and even then one of them rlm@0: would check on her every few minutes, even if she was asleep. rlm@0: All she had left were her books.. rlm@0: "They say history repeats.. I know.. I watched it.. over and over.. An rlm@0: endless loop. I was alone then.. I'm alone now.. oh, ChibiUsa-chan.. why rlm@0: couldn't I have died instead?" rlm@0: The desk was gone. The shelves, the table, the chairs - all taken out. rlm@0: All that was left were her books and her bed.. and the candles. Near a rlm@0: corner, rlm@0: the remains of her diary sat. She'd tried to communicate that way, writing rlm@0: everything using the stub of a pencil Setsuna-mama had finally agreed to rlm@0: give rlm@0: her. After the first hundred pages or so, she'd realized she wasn't making rlm@0: any rlm@0: sense at all, and questioned the point of it. But, then again, what were rlm@0: all rlm@0: of her diaries for? All the secrets, every little thing, kept in meticulous rlm@0: detail... "No-one could understand. I couldn't let them understnd. They'd rlm@0: see rlm@0: and they wouldn't understand.. the only person who could ever understand is rlm@0: dead. Saturn! Where are you now? If you're truly the Messiah, reigning rlm@0: over rlm@0: Death and Rebirth, then tell me why!" rlm@0: But, then, an idea came.. and in her broken mind, with its broken soul, rlm@0: living a lifeless shell in a grey world without even the comfort of trust, rlm@0: it rlm@0: made perfect sense. rlm@0: No-one would understand. So why let them try? rlm@0: She stood, shakily, blinking and wiping her bloodshot eyes. It would rlm@0: still be a few minutes at least, until someone checked on her. Praying it rlm@0: would be long enough, she set to work, seperating her books from her diaries rlm@0: and journals, her secrets.. Making a pile, she begin to organize it all, rlm@0: bit rlm@0: by bit, working slowly and carefully. It was almost time. rlm@0: Her work was interrupted by a knock at her door. "Hime-chan? Is rlm@0: everything okay?" It was Haruka-papa, come to make sure she hadn't died. rlm@0: Not responding, she waited for the blonde woman to open the door and rlm@0: check. "Hime-chan?" The door slowly creaked open, and Haruka stuck her rlm@0: head rlm@0: inside. "I know it's hard for you, Hime-chan. But we have to be sure." rlm@0: When rlm@0: Hotaru didn't even bother to look up, Haruka just sighed and shut the door rlm@0: again. rlm@0: Alone once more, the girl set her plan into motion. Tearing pages out, rlm@0: shredding some, pulling some into strips, leaving some notebooks whole, she rlm@0: prepared. All of her work, everything she had left, everything she was.. it rlm@0: was all here. And with a touch of the candle.. rlm@0: It took a minute or so to catch. Hotaru blew on the small fire, rlm@0: letting it grow at its own pace. She knew that the smoke alarm's batteries rlm@0: had rlm@0: been dead for weeks, and since everyone was asleep or downstairs, there'd be rlm@0: no-one to stop her. Page by page, she fed the fire.. whole years of her rlm@0: life, rlm@0: burning away. "It's warm, ChibiUsa-chan.. can you feel it? It's not like rlm@0: everything else.. This is how it has to be, now. If I can't die.. I'll rlm@0: make rlm@0: it so I was never around in the first place. Without these for people to rlm@0: remember me by, I'll just fade away. No-one cares but you, ChibiUsa-chan.. rlm@0: no-one.... They want me to live on, forget the past. Find someone to rlm@0: console rlm@0: me and love me. Be happy. I've never been happy, ChibiUsa-chan. I can't rlm@0: ever rlm@0: remember being happy. Not without you..." rlm@0: The flickering flames glittered, reflected in her sad, tired eyes.. so rlm@0: tired, so old.. dead. rlm@0: The fire spread to the floor, spread through the room. By now, it was rlm@0: quite obvious that the room was ablaze, if not the whole house. And Haruka, rlm@0: just now noticing the smell, was quick to run up and check on her rlm@0: dark-haired rlm@0: princess. Sirens could be heard, off in the distance.. a neighbor saw the rlm@0: flame, the firefighters would arrive soon. rlm@0: Haruka arrived just in time to pull the firefly from the heart of the rlm@0: fire before anything more than her hair and clothes were singed. The girl rlm@0: was rlm@0: unconscious, passed out from the lack of sleep and the fumes of the books' rlm@0: bindings as they caught. rlm@0: rlm@0: Two figures watched from the shadows. rlm@0: Children. rlm@0: It almost seemed they were part of the background.. a piece that rlm@0: doesn't quite fit, that everyone overlooks.. rlm@0: One spoke. Her voice quiet, almost detached. rlm@0: "Shisa?" rlm@0: "Yes, Selene?" rlm@0: "Do you think we went too far? I mean.." rlm@0: They watched, as their mother was revived by her Haruka-papa. As she rlm@0: was doomed to ever live, lifeless. rlm@0: "Yes, Selene." rlm@0: "Oh.. look, Shisa! I can see through us. We're fading.... Shisa?" rlm@0: "Yes, Selene?" rlm@0: "I am the wind.. look! Whoosh!" rlm@0: A gust of wind came, as the window was broken in by a firefighter. rlm@0: The two figures seemed to dissipate, with the smoke.. rlm@0: