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1 Dear Sakura
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2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
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3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
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4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
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5
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6 In the garden, Sakura sat on the stone bench and gazed up into the
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7 night sky. She was ineffably happy, but couldn't stop crying. At last
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8 she understood. The auburn-haired woman loved Tomoyo more than anyone
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9 in the world. She always loved her, but never knew. So many things
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10 finally made sense: embarrassed feelings around her adoring friend,
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11 the tortured longings suffered since arriving in Hong Kong, and the
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12 sheer joy of seeing the lavender-haired woman again. And then, there
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13 was the kiss that filled her soul with fire and light. No, kisses,
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14 she thought blushingly. Tomoyo kissing her on this very spot, and
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15 Sakura kissing the lovely girl as they danced. Kisses. She touched
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16 her lips with trembling fingers. When they kissed the world melted
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17 away, leaving only the two of them. Opening her eyes, Sakura felt a
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18 crimson blush creep up her neck, coloring her delicate cheek. I want
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19 to kiss her again, she thought. Again, and again, and again.
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20
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21 Most people lucky enough to realize their true love begin to
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22 consider how their feelings fit into the complex calculus of human
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23 relations. They worry about other lovers, wives or husbands, jobs and
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24 money, threats and opportunities. Had Sakura considered all this, it
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25 might have shaken her gentle, genki spirit. She was married and far
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26 away from her true love. Tomoyo, she thought, was in love with
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27 someone else entirely, traveling a path that took her further and
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28 further away. Were she to cast a cold, clear eye on the situation,
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29 her trickling tears of happiness might quickly become a river of
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30 grief and regret. But Sakura's greatest power, that everything would
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31 be all right, was no mere facade, or posture, or consolation. It was
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32 who she was. So, sitting on the bench she felt joy and elation, not
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33 worry and fear. Only knowing the agony that Tomoyo was even then
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34 enduring might have shaken the heart of the little Cardmistress. But
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35 of that pain, she was unaware, save for the dim echoes of a distant
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36 dream. For Sakura true love, once unlocked, was a source of utter
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37 bliss.
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38
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39 She stayed in that spot for hours, as if some magic lingered from
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40 her discovery of love. She marveled that in all those years with
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41 Tomoyo it had never occurred to her before. She shook her head and
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42 smiled, feeling slightly foolish, as she always did when something
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43 simple that had eluded her finally came clear. But for all that, it
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44 was she who had finally realized her own feelings. How strange that
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45 the love in her heart was so different from what she and everyone
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46 else had thought her love should be. Her friends had nudged her in
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47 the direction of Syaoran, and she had accepted the rightness of their
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48 wisdom. Not that she blamed them. If fault there was it was hers, for
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49 not knowing what she should have known in the first place. And she
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50 did like Syaoran; loved him, even. But it was more like the love felt
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51 for a friend. Her love for Tomoyo was unique, unlike anything else in
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52 her life. No joy or happiness could compare to the exquisite
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53 sweetness of this realization. And Sakura felt a tiny light of pride
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54 that she herself had come to understand what no one else did. But
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55 then, she really owed this new found knowledge to Dark and Light-
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56 sama's insistence that only she could solve the riddle of her
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57 feelings. Remembering this, she felt a sickening shame for arrogantly
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58 demanding they reveal her true feelings. Glancing up at the stars
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59 dotting the velvet sky, she sensed for the very first time the dread
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60 burden of her distant ancestor, Clow Reed. A burden she now shared.
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61
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62 By capturing and transmuting the Cards, Sakura possessed an
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63 incalculable power. Confronting Light and Dark, she had threatened
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64 the use of that power to cow the will of another. She came perilously
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65 close to forcing the beautiful but haughty Light sama to do her
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66 bidding. Even then, poised on the brink, she sensed the unease and
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67 fear that her power commanded. What would have happened had Dark-sama
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68 not intervened? Here was the night's second realization, but it felt
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69 very different form the joy of discovering her true love. Gazing at
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70 the garden, Sakura watched the beautiful plants and flowers
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71 shimmering in the moonlight. Once she had complimented her father on
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72 his garden, and asked him how he made the plants so pretty. Smiling,
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73 he told her that he couldn't make them do anything, and would only
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74 hurt them if he tried,
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75
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76 "They want to grow and be lovely all by themselves. I just have to
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77 be here and help them do what they want." As with flowers, so with
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78 magic. Sakura swore never again to use her power to dominate another
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79 will. She vaguely sensed where this dark path would lead, and the
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80 realization chilled her. Closing her eyes, she vowed never again to
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81 take a single step along so frightful a path. In fact, she would
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82 start by apologizing again to Dark and Light-sama, thanking them for
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83 allowing her to make her own discovery of love.
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84
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85 When she had returned to the room and summoned them forth, Dark and
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86 Light regarded her stumbling apologies with smiling grace. Finally,
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87 Light spoke up in a glowing voice that lit Tomoyo's guestroom,
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88 "Sakura-chan has learned two wonderful things tonight! Remember this
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89 lesson, but do not allow it to dim your bright spirit."
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90
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91 Gently brushing back Sakura's hair, much as a mother would do, the
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92 glimmering woman kissed her softly on the cheek. Sakura blushed and
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93 glowed, and Dark-sama tittered merrily behind her hand. In a
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94 whispering voice the shadowy beauty asked the little Cardmistress,
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95 "Now that you know of your love for Tomoyo-chan, what are you going
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96 to tell her?"
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97
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98 Sakura looked thoughtful and then shook her head. With a radiant
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99 smile she replied, "I don't really know. I want to tell her. Aiyaaa,
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100 I have to tell her! I couldn't keep something like this a secret. But
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101 I don't want to do it over the phone, or in a letter. I don't know
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102 when she is coming back to Hong Kong . Oh, oh, maybe I could go back
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103 home for a visit, back to Tomoeda, I mean. I really miss my family,
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104 and was hoping to visit for Christmas, anyway. I could tell her
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105 then!"
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106
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107 Sakura remembered all the wonderful Christmases of the past. She
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108 remembered decorating the tree, perched precariously on a ladder as
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109 her pink-robed friend plugged in the lights. The tree blazed forth a
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110 rainbow of light, bathing the girls in multicolored hues as they
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111 snuggled together and sipped hot cocoa. She remembered hearing
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112 Tomoyo's beautiful voice in the Christmas Concerts, sweet and strong.
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113 Though Tomoyo said she sang for the one she loved, everyone shared in
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114 the blessing of hearing her glorious voice. Finally, Sakura thought
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115 of all the delightful presents the dark-haired girl had given her.
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116 Each was carefully chosen, an offering of love from her very best
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117 friend, brightly wrapped with beautiful paper, skillfully tied up
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118 with satiny bows and ribbons.
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119
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120 "This will be my Christmas present to her," Sakura said happily, "so
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121 she knows that someone loves her more than anyone else in the world."
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122 She blushed as she thought of the two of them under the mistletoe.
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123 She longed to kiss Tomoyo, and caught her breath at the memory of
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124 those petal-soft lips. Opening her eyes, Sakura felt a crimson flush
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125 of embarrassment blending with her blushing desire, and smiled
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126 sheepishly as Dark and Light laughed and smiled.
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127
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128 The three talked long into the night, Sakura gaily recounting her
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129 adventures with Tomoyo while the two regal women listened and giggled
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130 like little girls, their hearts thrilled at the sheer joy of their
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131 Mistress' discovery. Finally, after recounting the wonderful night
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132 she dined and danced with her friend on the eve of her departure,
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133 Sakura jumped up in a burst of inspiration. Chanting the words of
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134 power, she summoned forth Flower, who appeared amidst a burst of
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135 scented blossoms. Grinning, Sakura bowed low, and Flower graciously
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136 accepted the offer to dance.
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137
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138 The two swirled about the guest room, magically expanded to a dance
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139 floor that stretched to infinity. Holding Flower close, Sakura cried,
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140 half in joy and half in longing, remembering the pale girl nestled in
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141 her arms. In memory was pain and promise, a world that lingered in
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142 her heart. Sakura's tears dotted the air like sparkling diamonds.
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143 Tomoyo was far away, yet with her still, and ever would be. As she
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144 danced, Sakura felt the delicate softness of Flower's supple body
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145 underneath the taffeta frills of her elaborate costume. She ached to
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146 hold her pale friend close, to kiss her and caress her and unlock all
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147 of Love’s secrets. She yearned for Tomoyo, for that perfect intimacy
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148 they shared when they were together. She loved Tomoyo beyond words,
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149 thought, and life itself. As she hugged Flower tightly, the sweet
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150 pain of separation tore at her heart. Twirling in a storm of petals,
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151 Sakura danced to remember, and to forget, and for the sheer joy of
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152 music and motion. She caught the eyes of her partner, and they
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153 shimmered like the trembling dew that clings to a rose in early morn.
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154 Suddenly, a wave of love crashed over Sakua, drowning her as she
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155 cried for a woman far across the sea.
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156
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157 "Tomoyo-chan," she sobbed, over and over, "Tomoyo-chan, Tomoyo-
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158 chan." The ecstasy and pain of a longing heart was hers at last.
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159 Sakura wept until Dark-sama gently caressed her brow and brought the
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160 peace of sleep. She slumbered dreamily on the silken quilt that had
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161 graced her beloved friend. The three women stood around their
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162 Mistress, watching over her, and smiling through their magical
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163 tears.
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164
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165 Sakura awoke entangled in dreams, slow to realize just where she
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166 was. Catching the faint, lingering scent of Tomoyo, she blushingly
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167 realized the place she had slept. Smiling, she stretched and rose,
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168 looking out the window into the bright light of day. It's so late,
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169 she thought with a start, and then remembered with relief that it was
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170 Saturday. Her mind wandered to the night before, to her wonderful
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171 discovery, and the delightful night with Dark-sama, Light-sama, and
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172 Flower. As the luscious ache of love gripped her again, she felt
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173 unbearably happy and unbearably sad. Hugging herself tightly, she
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174 whispered the name, "Tomoyo-chan", just to hear the sound of it.
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175 Smiling, she sang to herself, "The mail should have come by now.
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176 Maybe there's a letter!"
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177
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178 Jumping up, she raced down the hallway and saw white envelopes
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179 stuffed in the little whicker basket. Excitedly rifling through them,
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180 she recognized with joy and delight the creamy color that marked
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181 Tomoyo's letters. With trembling hands she opened it, eager to hear
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182 the voice of her friend within. Too thrilled to wait, she began
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183 reading where she stood. But one word changed her blithe happiness to
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184 a terrible uncertainty: goodbye. She read it over and over, but
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185 could not comprehend. Goodbye. She stared at the paper, as if it was
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186 written in some indecipherable language: "Sakura-chan, I'm very
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187 sorry, but I'll be going away soon. ...Goodbye, Sakura-chan."
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188 Finally, the meaning wound it's way to her heart, and she dropped to
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189 the floor, stunned.
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190
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191 On her knees she closed her eyes and whispered shakily, "No." Tomoyo
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192 was leaving her, forever. She wanted to scream, but so deep was the
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193 shock that she could only whimper. Her body tensed as a spasm of
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194 terror shook her. Goodbye. Desolation welled up within, and her
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195 vision grayed and narrowed, as if she were falling into a long, dark
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196 tunnel. She teetered on the brink of fainting, but was suddenly drawn
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197 back. Clenching her fists, a determined heart pounding in her chest,
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198 she whispered again, but this time in a firm and steely voice,
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199
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200 "No."
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201
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202 She stood up, swaying and unsteady, gripping the armoire for
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203 support. Seeing the nearby phone, she walked over and dialed a number
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204 she knew by heart. A woman's voice answered,
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205
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206 "Daidouji residence, may I help you?"
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207
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208 Sakura's voice was precise and even, "Is Daidouji Tomoyo home?"
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209
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210 "No, Ma'am, she is out. May I take a message for her when she
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211 returns?"
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212
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213 Sakura lowered the phone, which disconnected with a click. She
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214 hesitated but a second, and then called the airport, booking the
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215 first flight to Tokyo. Then she called her brother, and after the
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216 briefest hello requested a ride. He was too startled to tease her,
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217 let alone ask what was going on. After she confirmed her flight and
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218 time, he scowled after she hung up with a curt goodbye. The final
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219 call was for a taxi, which would arrive in a few minutes. Sprinting
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220 to her room, she threw a few things into her duffle bag from school,
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221 and began to rush out. But her eyes fell on the half-finished costume
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222 Tomoyo had left, and impulsively she grabbed it and placed it gently
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223 in the bag. The brassy honking of a car echoed down the hallway as
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224 she ran. One of the maids stood in a doorway and gaped as she flew
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225 by. With a sudden stop, she pivoted and ran back to the startled
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226 girl. Sakura realized with embarrassment that she had forgotten her
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227 name. With a smile she bowed and said all in a rush,
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228
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229 "Please tell Ieran-sama I had to fly to Japan. I'll call when I
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230 arrive. Thank you!"
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231
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232 With that, she burst out the door to the waiting taxi, leaving the
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233 speechless maid behind.
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234
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235
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236
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237
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