rlm@0: Dear Sakura
rlm@0: by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
rlm@0: amazonessduo@hotmail.com
rlm@0: pearsong1954@yahoo.com
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: In the garden, Sakura sat on the stone bench and gazed up into the
rlm@0: night sky. She was ineffably happy, but couldn't stop crying. At last
rlm@0: she understood. The auburn-haired woman loved Tomoyo more than anyone
rlm@0: in the world. She always loved her, but never knew. So many things
rlm@0: finally made sense: embarrassed feelings around her adoring friend,
rlm@0: the tortured longings suffered since arriving in Hong Kong, and the
rlm@0: sheer joy of seeing the lavender-haired woman again. And then, there
rlm@0: was the kiss that filled her soul with fire and light. No, kisses,
rlm@0: she thought blushingly. Tomoyo kissing her on this very spot, and
rlm@0: Sakura kissing the lovely girl as they danced. Kisses. She touched
rlm@0: her lips with trembling fingers. When they kissed the world melted
rlm@0: away, leaving only the two of them. Opening her eyes, Sakura felt a
rlm@0: crimson blush creep up her neck, coloring her delicate cheek. I want
rlm@0: to kiss her again, she thought. Again, and again, and again.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Most people lucky enough to realize their true love begin to
rlm@0: consider how their feelings fit into the complex calculus of human
rlm@0: relations. They worry about other lovers, wives or husbands, jobs and
rlm@0: money, threats and opportunities. Had Sakura considered all this, it
rlm@0: might have shaken her gentle, genki spirit. She was married and far
rlm@0: away from her true love. Tomoyo, she thought, was in love with
rlm@0: someone else entirely, traveling a path that took her further and
rlm@0: further away. Were she to cast a cold, clear eye on the situation,
rlm@0: her trickling tears of happiness might quickly become a river of
rlm@0: grief and regret. But Sakura's greatest power, that everything would
rlm@0: be all right, was no mere facade, or posture, or consolation. It was
rlm@0: who she was. So, sitting on the bench she felt joy and elation, not
rlm@0: worry and fear. Only knowing the agony that Tomoyo was even then
rlm@0: enduring might have shaken the heart of the little Cardmistress. But
rlm@0: of that pain, she was unaware, save for the dim echoes of a distant
rlm@0: dream. For Sakura true love, once unlocked, was a source of utter
rlm@0: bliss.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: She stayed in that spot for hours, as if some magic lingered from
rlm@0: her discovery of love. She marveled that in all those years with
rlm@0: Tomoyo it had never occurred to her before. She shook her head and
rlm@0: smiled, feeling slightly foolish, as she always did when something
rlm@0: simple that had eluded her finally came clear. But for all that, it
rlm@0: was she who had finally realized her own feelings. How strange that
rlm@0: the love in her heart was so different from what she and everyone
rlm@0: else had thought her love should be. Her friends had nudged her in
rlm@0: the direction of Syaoran, and she had accepted the rightness of their
rlm@0: wisdom. Not that she blamed them. If fault there was it was hers, for
rlm@0: not knowing what she should have known in the first place. And she
rlm@0: did like Syaoran; loved him, even. But it was more like the love felt
rlm@0: for a friend. Her love for Tomoyo was unique, unlike anything else in
rlm@0: her life. No joy or happiness could compare to the exquisite
rlm@0: sweetness of this realization. And Sakura felt a tiny light of pride
rlm@0: that she herself had come to understand what no one else did. But
rlm@0: then, she really owed this new found knowledge to Dark and Light-
rlm@0: sama's insistence that only she could solve the riddle of her
rlm@0: feelings. Remembering this, she felt a sickening shame for arrogantly
rlm@0: demanding they reveal her true feelings. Glancing up at the stars
rlm@0: dotting the velvet sky, she sensed for the very first time the dread
rlm@0: burden of her distant ancestor, Clow Reed. A burden she now shared.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: By capturing and transmuting the Cards, Sakura possessed an
rlm@0: incalculable power. Confronting Light and Dark, she had threatened
rlm@0: the use of that power to cow the will of another. She came perilously
rlm@0: close to forcing the beautiful but haughty Light sama to do her
rlm@0: bidding. Even then, poised on the brink, she sensed the unease and
rlm@0: fear that her power commanded. What would have happened had Dark-sama
rlm@0: not intervened? Here was the night's second realization, but it felt
rlm@0: very different form the joy of discovering her true love. Gazing at
rlm@0: the garden, Sakura watched the beautiful plants and flowers
rlm@0: shimmering in the moonlight. Once she had complimented her father on
rlm@0: his garden, and asked him how he made the plants so pretty. Smiling,
rlm@0: he told her that he couldn't make them do anything, and would only
rlm@0: hurt them if he tried, 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: "They want to grow and be lovely all by themselves. I just have to
rlm@0: be here and help them do what they want." As with flowers, so with
rlm@0: magic. Sakura swore never again to use her power to dominate another
rlm@0: will. She vaguely sensed where this dark path would lead, and the
rlm@0: realization chilled her. Closing her eyes, she vowed never again to
rlm@0: take a single step along so frightful a path. In fact, she would
rlm@0: start by apologizing again to Dark and Light-sama, thanking them for
rlm@0: allowing her to make her own discovery of love.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: When she had returned to the room and summoned them forth, Dark and
rlm@0: Light regarded her stumbling apologies with smiling grace. Finally,
rlm@0: Light spoke up in a glowing voice that lit Tomoyo's guestroom,
rlm@0: "Sakura-chan has learned two wonderful things tonight! Remember this
rlm@0: lesson, but do not allow it to dim your bright spirit."
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Gently brushing back Sakura's hair, much as a mother would do, the
rlm@0: glimmering woman kissed her softly on the cheek. Sakura blushed and
rlm@0: glowed, and Dark-sama tittered merrily behind her hand. In a
rlm@0: whispering voice the shadowy beauty asked the little Cardmistress,
rlm@0: "Now that you know of your love for Tomoyo-chan, what are you going
rlm@0: to tell her?"
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Sakura looked thoughtful and then shook her head. With a radiant
rlm@0: smile she replied, "I don't really know. I want to tell her. Aiyaaa,
rlm@0: I have to tell her! I couldn't keep something like this a secret. But
rlm@0: I don't want to do it over the phone, or in a letter. I don't know
rlm@0: when she is coming back to Hong Kong . Oh, oh, maybe I could go back
rlm@0: home for a visit, back to Tomoeda, I mean. I really miss my family,
rlm@0: and was hoping to visit for Christmas, anyway. I could tell her
rlm@0: then!" 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Sakura remembered all the wonderful Christmases of the past. She
rlm@0: remembered decorating the tree, perched precariously on a ladder as
rlm@0: her pink-robed friend plugged in the lights. The tree blazed forth a
rlm@0: rainbow of light, bathing the girls in multicolored hues as they
rlm@0: snuggled together and sipped hot cocoa. She remembered hearing
rlm@0: Tomoyo's beautiful voice in the Christmas Concerts, sweet and strong.
rlm@0: Though Tomoyo said she sang for the one she loved, everyone shared in
rlm@0: the blessing of hearing her glorious voice. Finally, Sakura thought
rlm@0: of all the delightful presents the dark-haired girl had given her.
rlm@0: Each was carefully chosen, an offering of love from her very best
rlm@0: friend, brightly wrapped with beautiful paper, skillfully tied up
rlm@0: with satiny bows and ribbons.  
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: "This will be my Christmas present to her," Sakura said happily, "so
rlm@0: she knows that someone loves her more than anyone else in the world."
rlm@0: She blushed as she thought of the two of them under the mistletoe.
rlm@0: She longed to kiss Tomoyo, and caught her breath at the memory of
rlm@0: those petal-soft lips. Opening her eyes, Sakura felt a crimson flush
rlm@0: of embarrassment blending with her blushing desire, and smiled
rlm@0: sheepishly as Dark and Light laughed and smiled. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: The three talked long into the night, Sakura gaily recounting her
rlm@0: adventures with Tomoyo while the two regal women listened and giggled
rlm@0: like little girls, their hearts thrilled at the sheer joy of their
rlm@0: Mistress' discovery. Finally, after recounting the wonderful night
rlm@0: she dined and danced with her friend on the eve of her departure,
rlm@0: Sakura jumped up in a burst of inspiration. Chanting the words of
rlm@0: power, she summoned forth Flower, who appeared amidst a burst of
rlm@0: scented blossoms. Grinning, Sakura bowed low, and Flower graciously
rlm@0: accepted the offer to dance. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: The two swirled about the guest room, magically expanded to a dance
rlm@0: floor that stretched to infinity. Holding Flower close, Sakura cried,
rlm@0: half in joy and half in longing, remembering the pale girl nestled in
rlm@0: her arms. In memory was pain and promise, a world that lingered in
rlm@0: her heart. Sakura's tears dotted the air like sparkling diamonds.
rlm@0: Tomoyo was far away, yet with her still, and ever would be. As she
rlm@0: danced, Sakura felt the delicate softness of Flower's supple body
rlm@0: underneath the taffeta frills of her elaborate costume. She ached to
rlm@0: hold her pale friend close, to kiss her and caress her and unlock all
rlm@0: of Love’s secrets. She yearned for Tomoyo, for that perfect intimacy
rlm@0: they shared when they were together. She loved Tomoyo beyond words,
rlm@0: thought, and life itself. As she hugged Flower tightly, the sweet
rlm@0: pain of separation tore at her heart. Twirling in a storm of petals,
rlm@0: Sakura danced to remember, and to forget, and for the sheer joy of
rlm@0: music and motion. She caught the eyes of her partner, and they
rlm@0: shimmered like the trembling dew that clings to a rose in early morn.
rlm@0: Suddenly, a wave of love crashed over Sakua, drowning her as she
rlm@0: cried for a woman far across the sea. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: "Tomoyo-chan," she sobbed, over and over, "Tomoyo-chan, Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan." The ecstasy and pain of a longing heart was hers at last.
rlm@0: Sakura wept until Dark-sama gently caressed her brow and brought the
rlm@0: peace of sleep. She slumbered dreamily on the silken quilt that had
rlm@0: graced her beloved friend. The three women stood around their
rlm@0: Mistress, watching over her, and smiling through their magical
rlm@0: tears.  
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Sakura awoke entangled in dreams, slow to realize just where she
rlm@0: was. Catching the faint, lingering scent of Tomoyo, she blushingly
rlm@0: realized the place she had slept. Smiling, she stretched and rose,
rlm@0: looking out the window into the bright light of day. It's so late,
rlm@0: she thought with a start, and then remembered with relief that it was
rlm@0: Saturday. Her mind wandered to the night before, to her wonderful
rlm@0: discovery, and the delightful night with Dark-sama, Light-sama, and
rlm@0: Flower. As the luscious ache of love gripped her again, she felt
rlm@0: unbearably happy and unbearably sad. Hugging herself tightly, she
rlm@0: whispered the name, "Tomoyo-chan", just to hear the sound of it.
rlm@0: Smiling, she sang to herself, "The mail should have come by now.
rlm@0: Maybe there's a letter!" 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Jumping up, she raced down the hallway and saw white envelopes
rlm@0: stuffed in the little whicker basket. Excitedly rifling through them,
rlm@0: she recognized with joy and delight the creamy color that marked
rlm@0: Tomoyo's letters. With trembling hands she opened it, eager to hear
rlm@0: the voice of her friend within. Too thrilled to wait, she began
rlm@0: reading where she stood. But one word changed her blithe happiness to
rlm@0: a terrible uncertainty: goodbye.  She read it over and over, but
rlm@0: could not comprehend. Goodbye. She stared at the paper, as if it was
rlm@0: written in some indecipherable language: "Sakura-chan, I'm very
rlm@0: sorry, but I'll be going away soon. ...Goodbye, Sakura-chan."
rlm@0: Finally, the meaning wound it's way to her heart, and she dropped to
rlm@0: the floor, stunned. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: On her knees she closed her eyes and whispered shakily, "No." Tomoyo
rlm@0: was leaving her, forever. She wanted to scream, but so deep was the
rlm@0: shock that she could only whimper. Her body tensed as a spasm of
rlm@0: terror shook her. Goodbye. Desolation welled up within, and her
rlm@0: vision grayed and narrowed, as if she were falling into a long, dark
rlm@0: tunnel. She teetered on the brink of fainting, but was suddenly drawn
rlm@0: back. Clenching her fists, a determined heart pounding in her chest,
rlm@0: she whispered again, but this time in a firm and steely voice,
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: "No."
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: She stood up, swaying and unsteady, gripping the armoire for
rlm@0: support. Seeing the nearby phone, she walked over and dialed a number
rlm@0: she knew by heart. A woman's voice answered,
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: "Daidouji residence, may I help you?"
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Sakura's voice was precise and even, "Is Daidouji Tomoyo home?"
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: "No, Ma'am, she is out. May I take a message for her when she
rlm@0: returns?"
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Sakura lowered the phone, which disconnected with a click. She
rlm@0: hesitated but a second, and then called the airport, booking the
rlm@0: first flight to Tokyo. Then she called her brother, and after the
rlm@0: briefest hello requested a ride. He was too startled to tease her,
rlm@0: let alone ask what was going on. After she confirmed her flight and
rlm@0: time, he scowled after she hung up with a curt goodbye. The final
rlm@0: call was for a taxi, which would arrive in a few minutes. Sprinting
rlm@0: to her room, she threw a few things into her duffle bag from school,
rlm@0: and began to rush out. But her eyes fell on the half-finished costume
rlm@0: Tomoyo had left, and impulsively she grabbed it and placed it gently
rlm@0: in the bag. The brassy honking of a car echoed down the hallway as
rlm@0: she ran. One of the maids stood in a doorway and gaped as she flew
rlm@0: by. With a sudden stop, she pivoted and ran back to the startled
rlm@0: girl. Sakura realized with embarrassment that she had forgotten her
rlm@0: name. With a smile she bowed and said all in a rush, 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: "Please tell Ieran-sama I had to fly to Japan. I'll call when I
rlm@0: arrive. Thank you!"
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: With that, she burst out the door to the waiting taxi, leaving the
rlm@0: speechless maid behind. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: