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1 Dear Sakura:
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2 Together Again
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3 by The Amazoness Duo
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4 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
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5
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6 “Damn it!” Sonomi screamed into the empty expanses of the vacation
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7 home up in the mountains. It was supposed to be a retreat from the
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8 pain of everyday life, a place of refuge that she could take her
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9 darling daughter to and escape for a few days. It was a comfortable
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10 little place up in the mountains that she had picked out with Tomoyo
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11 years earlier. But this visit was anything but relaxing. Her retreat
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12 had betrayed her, leaving her just as pained as if she were right in
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13 the middle of things. It offered little escape this time, the
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14 knowledge that Tomoyo was off in Hong Kong with the woman that had
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15 broken her heart firmly in Sonomi’s overworked mind. Yet even with
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16 that knowledge, she still expected to see her dark haired daughter
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17 out in the garden, videotaping the beautiful flowers and butterflies
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18 or on the balcony watching Sakura-shaped clouds in the sky. And each
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19 time, she was profoundly disappointed to find her little girl absent
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20 from her usual charming activities.
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21 Puffing on her cigarette, Sonomi leaned against the balcony
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22 railing, watching the garden where she and Tomoyo would have picnics
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23 on their visits. Normally, smoking wasn’t a habit she kept up with.
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24 Back when she had first picked it up in high school, it was rather
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25 short lived after Nadeshiko’s insistence that she stop. And she had.
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26 Despite it’s ability to help her relax when things were too
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27 stressful, she would do anything for her gentle goddess. Who needed
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28 such a thing when they had a sweet cousin like Nadeshiko by their
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29 side? It would be bad for her running, after all, just like Nadeshiko
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30 had said. Even if HE could beat her at track. But he was the only one
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31 who could beat her. He always was. But somehow, he managed to beat
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32 her at everything. At racing and at love. He had stolen her beloved
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33 Nadeshiko’s heart away from her, even though she had promised
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34 Nadeshiko that she would protect her from people like him. Part of
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35 Sonomi had died that day, at the wedding. More of her had died after
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36 Nadeshiko’s death some years later. Sometimes she thought that the
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37 only reason any of her was still alive at all was because of Tomoyo.
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38 Her darling daughter was another sweet angel in her life. And Tomoyo
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39 didn’t like it when she smoked either, telling her that it made her
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40 sad to see Sonomi doing such things to herself. So she had quit again
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41 for the sake of her little daughter, deciding that she was worth any
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42 sacrifice.
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43 But right now, neither Nadeshiko nor Tomoyo were there with her.
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44 And she was feeling self-destructive. She wanted to breathe smoke.
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45 She wanted to throw away all of her professional success in the past
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46 few years. She wanted to destroy every one of her racing trophies.
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47 What did any of it mean anymore? She had been twice blessed to have
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48 angels come into her life, but one had left it painfully and the
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49 other was being torn apart in front of her eyes. And as always,
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50 Sonomi, the brash and protective woman that she had always been, was
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51 completely helpless to stop it. That made this all the more painful.
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52 The memory of watching Nadeshiko during her dying days haunted her.
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53 She had promised to protect her little cousin and she had been
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54 powerless to hold back death’s embrace from whisking her away. And
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55 now it was all happening again. Her angelic daughter was dying in her
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56 own way. And once again she was forced to watch. She couldn’t force
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57 that pain away with a glance, hold her daughter close and protect her
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58 from the cold knives of pain the world was intent on throwing at her.
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59 Yet Tomoyo smiled through it all. An angel to the bitter end, she
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60 tried so hard to keep her mother happy while her own soul was being
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61 cut into.
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62 “Agh!!” Sonomi hit the railing she was leaning against fiercely
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63 with her right hand. The pain that shot through her clenched fist
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64 just sought to anger her even more. “Nadeshiko-chan, why does it have
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65 to be this way? Why does she have to get hurt as well? Am I cursed?
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66 Is she destined to relive my pain?” The business woman’s voice
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67 lowered as her blue eyes closed, imagining her darling cousin’s image
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68 in her mind's eye, speaking directly to her as she often did when she
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69 was hurting. “Please tell me, Nadeshiko-chan. I don’t understand.”
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70 The wind whispered in her ear, blowing about Sonomi’s short
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71 brunette hair as if in answer, but she was still left all alone. A
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72 slender hand went to her mouth, deep breaths escaping her lips as she
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73 tried to calm herself. The breaths were shaky at best, barely holding
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74 back the onslaught of rage and loss that threatened to overcome her.
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75 But Sonomi was a strong woman. She had survived this long.
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76 Unfortunately, the waves always seemed to get higher in her life,
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77 threatening to drown her in sorrow. She could almost hear Nadeshiko
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78 chiding her about the cigarette. A small, pained laugh left her as
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79 she put it out. “She’s so very much like you, Nadeshiko-chan. I could
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80 never stand to see you suffer at all. I promised I’d always protect
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81 you. Why do I have to watch her follow the same path I went through?
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82 Why can’t I take away her pain?” Her eyes opened slowly, looking out
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83 across the garden. Her heart dropped when what she thought was either
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84 Nadeshiko or her daughter’s lovely gray hair happened to be nothing
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85 more than some dust being thrown around by the wind. “Sometimes I
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86 swear our daughters must have gotten switched at birth, Nadeshiko-
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87 chan. She’s so kind and gentle like you. And she has such a loving
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88 heart. She holds in so much pain and it’s killing me to watch her in
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89 it, pretending it’s not even there. Please... Please, Nadeshiko-chan.
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90 Don’t let this happen again. Don’t let what happened to us happen to
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91 our daughters. I love you so much. I can’t stand to see my little
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92 girl go through the same pain.”
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93 Sonomi slumped to her knees on the balcony, her body feeling weak
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94 beyond its years. Her memories of Nadeshiko were all too vivid, all
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95 too painful in her mind. Every glimpse, every touch, it all came back
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96 with surprising force. Her heart longed for her dearly departed
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97 cousin, missing her more and more with each passing day. Not a day
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98 went by when her thoughts weren’t consumed with the woman she loved.
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99 Her death had only served to separate them even farther. And if it
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100 hadn’t been for Tomoyo, Sonomi would have been quick to join her.
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101 “Nadeshiko-chan, I need you. Why did you leave me? You’re everything
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102 to me.” Even with her eyes open, she could still see the haunting
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103 afterimage of Nadeshiko, her smile tugging at the business woman’s
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104 heart. “You always said I was strong. But damnit, Nadeshiko-chan, I
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105 was strong for you. Because I wanted to protect you. Because I wanted
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106 to make you happy. If I couldn’t do that for you and if I can’t for
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107 Tomoyo-chan, then what good is any of it? Why does my pain have to
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108 live on through my daughter? This can’t happen.” She sighed weakly,
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109 running her hands through her hair. Her jumbled emotions were all
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110 calling for attention, leaving her feeling burnt out inside. She felt
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111 so weak and helpless, unable to change anything. The river of life
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112 had her caught tragically in it’s current and she could cause little
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113 more than ripples in the water.
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114 “I’m sorry for being angry with your Sakura-chan, but I can’t help
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115 it. Tomoyo-chan’s so much like you and seeing the pain in her eyes
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116 that Sakura-chan causes in her is unbearable for me. I can’t help but
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117 see some of Fujitaka-sensei in her now that I see her hurting Tomoyo-
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118 chan so much. And I’m sorry about that. I know she’s your little
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119 girl, but seeing my daughter in pain...” She sighed, shaking her head
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120 as Tomoyo came to mind. What was happening to her over in Hong Kong
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121 right now? Why couldn’t she have come with her? It would have been
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122 better for the both of them. “But Tomoyo-chan wouldn’t want me mad at
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123 Sakura-chan either. She would say it wasn’t her fault and that she
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124 was happy for her. But I can see underneath those words at the pain
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125 underneath and it tears me up inside. She’s so sad and she won’t let
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126 it out. Because she doesn’t want me to worry about her. I guess I
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127 shouldn’t be mad at Sakura-chan. It’s the same thing that happened
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128 with you. You went off and got married, too. But that just makes this
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129 even worse because I know exactly what hell Tomoyo-chan is going
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130 through. And I can’t tell her it will get any better because I still
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131 miss you.”
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132 Her blue eyes falling closed again, Sonomi could swear she felt
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133 Nadeshiko’s gentle fingers brush past her cheek reassuringly. “Please
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134 don’t let this happen, Nadeshiko-chan...”
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135
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136 An exhausted pale woman plopped down onto a guestroom’s futon bed
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137 in a flurry of dark hair. The day had been long for Daidouji Tomoyo
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138 and she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. But all of that
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139 hardly mattered to the young heiress. Smiling to herself, Tomoyo
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140 brought a hand up to her mouth and yawned. She had almost forgotten
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141 how much energy it took to keep up with Sakura. The brunette seemed
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142 to be nearly inexhaustible in whatever she did. And that mixture of
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143 determination, enthusiasm, and pure loveable spirit always managed to
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144 draw Tomoyo along afterward in awe. Never having been as energetic as
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145 Sakura, the other woman’s presence managed to revitalize her.
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146 Being with Sakura again was like a beautiful dream. But like all
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147 dreams, she knew that she would eventually have to awaken from it.
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148 That thought brought her back to reality, her hand instinctively
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149 reaching for her camcorder. If she had to leave her beloved Sakura,
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150 she needed to have every precious second on videotape. Checking to
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151 make sure that it had new film, she gently placed it on the large
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152 Victorian style desk. Those memories of Sakura might be the last she
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153 would have after this visit. She would slowly allow herself to fade
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154 from Sakura’s life completely after returning home. It would make
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155 things easier for Sakura who had already started a new life that she
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156 couldn’t be a part of. Eventually, Sakura would forget about her,
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157 happily living out her new life in wedded bliss.
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158 “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered sadly as she sat back on the bed.
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159 Her stormy blue eyes clouded over, tears threatening to break through
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160 her carefully orchestrated masks, ready to spill past her ivory
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161 cheeks. How can you give up the one you love? How can you let
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162 yourself become nothing more than a memory? Because you love them.
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163 Because you must set them free to live their life without you. Tomoyo
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164 knew that she would forever be bound to her love for Sakura, but the
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165 emerald eyed woman would soon have no need for her. Staying in her
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166 life would just be painful for the both of them. She had told Sakura
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167 that the most important thing in her life was that her beloved was
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168 happy. Even if they couldn’t be together. “I know you don’t
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169 understand, Sakura-chan. And hopefully you’ll never have to. When I’m
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170 gone, I’ll be happy knowing that you’re smiling.”
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171 So if this was going to be her last time with Sakura, every single
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172 moment had to be treasured fully in Tomoyo’s heart. The dark haired
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173 designer smiled a bit, wiping the tears from her eyes. That part was
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174 easy, Sakura’s warm aura lifting her heart up. To be with Sakura
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175 again was truly a vacation from the loneliness and sleepless nights
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176 that she had been dealing with since the wedding. Her aching heart
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177 felt like it would burst to be near the Cardmistress again. Sakura
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178 was just as cute and sweet as always. She was becoming a gorgeous
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179 young woman. Sakura truly was the perfect bride. Li-kun was very
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180 lucky to be blessed with Sakura’s presence. Though curiously enough,
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181 Tomoyo hadn’t seen an awful lot of him. She would have thought that
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182 he would be there near Sakura during the entire visit, bathing in her
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183 glorious nature the same way Tomoyo herself did. Yet she’d barely
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184 seen the Chinese Sorcerer at all. That coupled with Sakura’s
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185 increased outpouring of affection had her confused. If Sakura’s
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186 letters were any indication, she really had missed the company of her
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187 best friend. And Tomoyo could agree with that notion wholeheartedly.
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188 She missed Sakura terribly every day that she was without her. So she
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189 would be happy to be by Sakura’s side for the duration of the visit.
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190 This one day alone had been worth all of the months of loneliness and
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191 pain to be able to enjoy the beauty of Hong Kong right alongside her
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192 gorgeous Sakura.
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193 Wincing slightly at the weariness in her body, Tomoyo began looking
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194 through the cedar chest in her room for a nightgown. Memories of the
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195 day and her time with Sakura kept racing through her mind, bringing a
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196 smile to her lips. Sakura really hadn’t changed much during her time
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197 in Hong Kong. She was still the same wonderful woman that Tomoyo had
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198 fallen in love with years before. And her presence still made
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199 Tomoyo’s heart flare up with love for the brunette. Sakura’s sweet
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200 voice still rang in her ears like a beautiful song, making her feel
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201 peaceful and calm.
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202 Singing softly to herself, Tomoyo finally picked out a cyan
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203 nightgown and set it down gently on the bed. She didn’t sing in front
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204 of people the way she had back when she was on the choir club, but
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205 she still sang often when she was alone. It was something she had
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206 always enjoyed doing. It was a way of letting herself drift, letting
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207 her thoughts flow free. Her mind could wander along to the rhythm of
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208 the music, but it always invariably settled on one thing in
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209 particular; Sakura. And that’s where her mind had settled now as she
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210 let her hair down from the ponytail it had been in all day, long dark
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211 hair pooling about her shoulders. Her clothes were laid neatly on the
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212 bed before she pulled the nightgown over her head. Getting ready for
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213 bed in Hong Kong again brought back memories of her first trip there
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214 with Sakura. She had even spent the night at this very house while
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215 she had been there, though that time she had shared a bed with
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216 Sakura. This time Sakura would be sharing a bed with her husband. So
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217 some things had changed since her last visit. Her heart wavered for a
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218 moment, but she forced the saddening thought away. At least Sakura
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219 was here. That’s why she had returned to this house, after all.
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220 Because Sakura had gotten married. And other than a few moments that
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221 day when Sakura had been rather emotional, she seemed to be happy. So
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222 she should be glad for her. The only reason Sakura was overemotional
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223 was because of her visit anyway. Sakura wouldn’t need to hide her
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224 tears in dressing rooms after she was gone.
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225 Tomoyo closed her eyes, taking an unsteady breath. “Sakura-chan...”
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226
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227 Meanwhile, the subject of Tomoyo’s thoughts was getting ready for
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228 bed herself. Sakura had already changed into her pajamas and was
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229 sitting next to Syaoran on the bed. Her poor husband looked so tired.
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230 She had been talking about her day with Tomoyo ever since she had
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231 gotten back home and he had quietly listened the whole time. He was
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232 lying on the bed, his eyes half open. Sakura giggled softly and
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233 brushed some hair from her eyes. “Gomen, Syaoran-chan.” She leaned
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234 forward and gave her husband a brief kiss. “Work must have been tough
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235 today. Maybe we can talk about it later.”
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236 Syaoran nodded, his eyes half closed as he suppressed a yawn.
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237 “Sure.” He stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep his eyes open.
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238 “It was a long day. We should get some sleep.” His eyes opened after
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239 slipping closed for a second when he felt Sakura’s head on his chest.
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240 Sakura sighed softly. Even after all that she had done that day,
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241 she still wasn’t feeling tired. She was too excited to be tired.
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242 After being Tomoyo-less for months and months, her best friend was
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243 only a few rooms away. Her mind wouldn’t shut off long enough for her
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244 to sleep. Tomoyo stirred so many feelings inside of her. It was
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245 difficult to comprehend. “Hai, you’re right. I think I’m going to go
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246 check on Tomoyo-chan first before I go to sleep,” she said
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247 thoughtfully.
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248 “Daidouji’s like Meiling,” Syaoran stated matter-of-factly, his
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rlm@0
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249 concentration blurring as sleep began to prey on his mind.
|
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rlm@0
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250 “Hoe?”
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rlm@0
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251 Syaoran yawned again, resting his head back. “Yeah. They both like
|
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rlm@0
|
252 to say embarrassing things.”
|
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rlm@0
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253 A giggle escaped Sakura’s lips at that. “I guess that’s true. I
|
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rlm@0
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254 never really thought about it. But it’s nice when she says them.”
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rlm@0
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255 Kissing Syaoran’s cheek, she sat back up. Tomoyo might already be
|
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rlm@0
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256 asleep, but she thought it would be okay if she just peeked in to
|
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rlm@0
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257 check up on her. Or to at least catch a glimpse of her best friend.
|
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rlm@0
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258 She felt like a little girl trying to get a last glimpse at the
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rlm@0
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259 Christmas Tree before being forced off to bed. “I’ll be back in a
|
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rlm@0
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260 little bit. Go ahead and go to sleep. I’ll join you soon.” She smiled
|
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rlm@0
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261 sweetly at her husband as she slid off the bed. He watched her for a
|
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rlm@0
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262 moment, offering a half smile of his own before rolling over and
|
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rlm@0
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263 closing his eyes.
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rlm@0
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264 Padding silently out of the room, Sakura made her way down the hall
|
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rlm@0
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265 towards Tomoyo’s guestroom. Tomoyo had nearly fallen asleep with her
|
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rlm@0
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266 head on Sakura’s shoulder earlier, so Sakura doubted she would still
|
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rlm@0
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267 be awake. But it would be nice to see her again before going to sleep
|
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rlm@0
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268 herself. The door opened slowly after she grasped the doorknob.
|
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rlm@0
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269 “Hello, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said warmly from inside.
|
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rlm@0
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270 Sakura sweatdropped as she entered, closing the door quietly behind
|
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rlm@0
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271 her. “Gomen nasai, Tomoyo-chan. I thought you were asleep. I hope you
|
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rlm@0
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272 don’t mind.” She returned the pale woman’s warm smile. “I just wanted
|
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rlm@0
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273 to see you again.”
|
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rlm@0
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274 Tomoyo shook her head, her dark hair swaying with the motion. “No,
|
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rlm@0
|
275 I’m glad you came, Sakura-chan. I was hoping you would. I’m always
|
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rlm@0
|
276 happy to see you.” Patting the bed next to her, Tomoyo made room for
|
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rlm@0
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277 her hostess. Thoughts of seeing Sakura again had filled her mind for
|
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rlm@0
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278 the last few minutes, but she hadn’t actually thought that Sakura
|
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rlm@0
|
279 would stop by before the morning. Seeing Sakura now got rid of the
|
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rlm@0
|
280 sadness tinged thoughts associated with the visit. It really was
|
|
rlm@0
|
281 great to see her. There was the same sparkle in Sakura’s emerald eyes
|
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rlm@0
|
282 that had always sent a thrill through her heart and the same smile
|
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rlm@0
|
283 that always warmed her. Tomoyo giggled softly and tilted her head to
|
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rlm@0
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284 the side. “No matter how much you change, you’re still my cute Sakura-
|
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rlm@0
|
285 chan.”
|
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rlm@0
|
286 Accepting the proffered seat, Sakura looked back at Tomoyo
|
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rlm@0
|
287 thoughtfully. She was glad that Tomoyo was awake. It was much better
|
|
rlm@0
|
288 than just catching a glimpse of her sleeping friend. Tomoyo’s musical
|
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rlm@0
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289 voice and the sweet things she said still embarrassed her at times,
|
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rlm@0
|
290 but she was happy to hear them. For so long she had been missing
|
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rlm@0
|
291 those little remarks of Tomoyo’s, reading them over and over in her
|
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rlm@0
|
292 letters and waiting for every Sunday to hear her on the phone. It
|
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rlm@0
|
293 really did make her feel good inside. “I hope I can always be your
|
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rlm@0
|
294 cute Sakura-chan,” she replied, blushing slightly. Tomoyo always had
|
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rlm@0
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295 a way of getting to her that way.
|
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rlm@0
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296 “You will. Because I’ll always have my memories of you. And I have
|
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rlm@0
|
297 a lot of it down on videotape, captured moments of your youth ready
|
|
rlm@0
|
298 to be watched again and again and again as I reminisce about my days
|
|
rlm@0
|
299 with Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo explained, still smiling sweetly. Her
|
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rlm@0
|
300 clasped hands were in her lap. She had always known that one day
|
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rlm@0
|
301 Sakura would have to leave her and that she would be left with
|
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rlm@0
|
302 nothing but her memories. So she had videotaped everything she could,
|
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rlm@0
|
303 wanting to capture as much of Sakura as she could. There was so much
|
|
rlm@0
|
304 more to the brunette, but all she had was a library of videotape now
|
|
rlm@0
|
305 that Sakura was in Hong Kong. And she was glad for it. Now that she
|
|
rlm@0
|
306 couldn’t spend time with Sakura anymore outside this little trip, the
|
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rlm@0
|
307 videos were all she had left. There would be no more new moments with
|
|
rlm@0
|
308 her, no more happy times spent together. But all of the old ones were
|
|
rlm@0
|
309 ready for her to replay when she was lonely or to watch through when
|
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rlm@0
|
310 she was sad.
|
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rlm@0
|
311 Sakura reached out slowly, her fingers gently brushing through
|
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rlm@0
|
312 Tomoyo’s long lavender hair. She had let it grow from the last time
|
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rlm@0
|
313 Sakura had seen her, now reaching well past her waist. She always had
|
|
rlm@0
|
314 the most gorgeous hair, trying it in all sorts of styles. It was
|
|
rlm@0
|
315 always a wonder to Sakura how she managed to be so creative with it.
|
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rlm@0
|
316 The soft hair felt wonderful underneath her fingers. “Umm... Tomoyo-
|
|
rlm@0
|
317 chan? Would you mind if I fixed your hair again? Like when we were
|
|
rlm@0
|
318 younger?” Sakura sweatdropped a bit and looked down. She felt
|
|
rlm@0
|
319 childish for asking such a thing. Tomoyo was a full grown woman now,
|
|
rlm@0
|
320 no longer the delicate child she remembered. It seemed awkward to be
|
|
rlm@0
|
321 asking it, but after the dream she had, she longed for the old days.
|
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rlm@0
|
322 Tomoyo’s captivating smile dissipated her worries.
|
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rlm@0
|
323 Tomoyo’s heart had stopped when Sakura’s fingers began playing with
|
|
rlm@0
|
324 her hair. Sakura’s magic touch entranced her more than any of her
|
|
rlm@0
|
325 Cards could. It took her a moment to reply to Sakura’s request for
|
|
rlm@0
|
326 fear of reacting at all and breaking the moment. “I’d like that very
|
|
rlm@0
|
327 much, Sakura-chan. I always loved when you would be the one to fix my
|
|
rlm@0
|
328 hair.” Her voice had almost gotten caught in her throat, her cheeks
|
|
rlm@0
|
329 darkening slightly as Sakura’s fingers continued through her hair.
|
|
rlm@0
|
330 Oh, it was perfect! Her hands were so gentle as they continued on
|
|
rlm@0
|
331 their path. Tomoyo felt so peaceful, so complete inside. Yes, this
|
|
rlm@0
|
332 was love. Having her hair fixed by Sakura. Even if it was just
|
|
rlm@0
|
333 reliving old times for Sakura, she would play this over and over
|
|
rlm@0
|
334 again in her mind for years to come. For a brief moment, she could
|
|
rlm@0
|
335 even pretend this was the way things were. That after a long day at
|
|
rlm@0
|
336 work, she had come home to her dearest Sakura and that she had
|
|
rlm@0
|
337 offered to fix her hair for her, lovingly teasing with her fingers.
|
|
rlm@0
|
338 Even if the illusion didn’t last long, the warm feelings in her heart
|
|
rlm@0
|
339 grew considerably. If this was to be her last visit with Sakura, it
|
|
rlm@0
|
340 certainly was turning out well at this rate.
|
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rlm@0
|
341 Giggling happily, Sakura crawled up onto the bed behind Tomoyo, her
|
|
rlm@0
|
342 fingers still running through the lavender trusses. “Arigato, Tomoyo-
|
|
rlm@0
|
343 chan! It’s kind of like with Hanako-chan. Whenever I fix her hair, I
|
|
rlm@0
|
344 think about you. It was always so beautiful, no matter what style you
|
|
rlm@0
|
345 had it in.” For a brief moment, the woman in front of her was a
|
|
rlm@0
|
346 blushing girl of ten again, sitting in barely hidden anticipation.
|
|
rlm@0
|
347 Sakura shook the mental image off, but she smiled in spite of
|
|
rlm@0
|
348 herself. Gathering up Tomoyo’s hair, she looked at it thoughtfully.
|
|
rlm@0
|
349 Tomoyo scarcely moved an inch aside from a blissful sigh. Nodding to
|
|
rlm@0
|
350 herself, Sakura began braiding Tomoyo’s hair, enjoying the feel of
|
|
rlm@0
|
351 the silky strands between her fingers. For the moment, her only
|
|
rlm@0
|
352 concern was how to fix Tomoyo’s hair. And she found that simple task
|
|
rlm@0
|
353 relaxed her in ways that she hadn’t been able to in months. The sweet
|
|
rlm@0
|
354 scent of Tomoyo’s lavender hair was lovely. She leaned closer,
|
|
rlm@0
|
355 burying her face into the hair for a moment. It really was wonderful.
|
|
rlm@0
|
356 Just like Tomoyo, it was sweet and calming. She couldn’t see the
|
|
rlm@0
|
357 deepening blush on Tomoyo’s pale cheeks as she finally continued
|
|
rlm@0
|
358 braiding.
|
|
rlm@0
|
359 “I have some ribbons if you would like to use them, Sakura-chan,”
|
|
rlm@0
|
360 Tomoyo offered helpfully, scooting back so that she could be closer
|
|
rlm@0
|
361 to the Cardmistress. This had to be a glimpse of what Heaven was
|
|
rlm@0
|
362 like. Her heart skipped a beat as Sakura’s fingers brushed some hair
|
|
rlm@0
|
363 past her shoulder, the fingers lingering there for a brief second
|
|
rlm@0
|
364 before moving on. If only this one moment could last for an eternity.
|
|
rlm@0
|
365 Her heart sang out to Sakura, reaching out for her, bursting with her
|
|
rlm@0
|
366 love for the brunette. But she sat still as Sakura’s fingers fixed
|
|
rlm@0
|
367 her hair, content in this moment. ‘I love you, Sakura-chan. And
|
|
rlm@0
|
368 moments like these just remind me of how eternally grateful I am to
|
|
rlm@0
|
369 have met you,’ she thought to herself.
|
|
rlm@0
|
370 “Oh, right! Those ones you bought during the shopping trip. They
|
|
rlm@0
|
371 should be around here somewhere.” Sakura looked around thoughtfully
|
|
rlm@0
|
372 before Tomoyo handed a bag to Sakura. Inside were several deep green
|
|
rlm@0
|
373 silk ribbons. She ran her fingers over them as she pulled them out,
|
|
rlm@0
|
374 looking back at Tomoyo’s hair for where to place them. They were
|
|
rlm@0
|
375 beautiful and soft to the touch, but she found herself enjoying the
|
|
rlm@0
|
376 feeling of Tomoyo’s hair much more. Her fingers went back to work,
|
|
rlm@0
|
377 tying them in with careful movements. “You look so pretty, Tomoyo-
|
|
rlm@0
|
378 chan.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
379 Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes fluttered open slowly, smiling happily.
|
|
rlm@0
|
380 The past few months seemed insignificant and far away. They didn’t
|
|
rlm@0
|
381 matter. All that mattered was this moment alone with Sakura. It was
|
|
rlm@0
|
382 perfect. “Thank you so much, Sakura-chan. You don’t know how happy
|
|
rlm@0
|
383 that makes me. Being here with you like this, hearing your voice and
|
|
rlm@0
|
384 knowing you’re right here with me, I don’t think I could be happier.
|
|
rlm@0
|
385 I’m so lucky to be here with you. I’ll always remember this trip,”
|
|
rlm@0
|
386 she said cheerfully.
|
|
rlm@0
|
387 Sakura giggled. She could almost see the stars in Tomoyo’s eyes. It
|
|
rlm@0
|
388 was just the way she remembered her. This trip had been exactly what
|
|
rlm@0
|
389 she needed. She didn’t feel so lonely or out of place anymore now
|
|
rlm@0
|
390 that Tomoyo was back with her. Her heart swelled to hear the sweet
|
|
rlm@0
|
391 remarks Tomoyo always showered her with. Their time together had
|
|
rlm@0
|
392 always been important to her, but it wasn’t until recently that she
|
|
rlm@0
|
393 had realized just how important. Not having Tomoyo with her was like
|
|
rlm@0
|
394 losing a part of herself. She didn’t feel as confident or as sure
|
|
rlm@0
|
395 about herself without the dark haired woman’s love and support. Now
|
|
rlm@0
|
396 that the heiress was here, she felt even more sure of it. That’s what
|
|
rlm@0
|
397 had been missing in her life since she had moved to Hong Kong. But it
|
|
rlm@0
|
398 confused her because she didn’t quite understand what it was that she
|
|
rlm@0
|
399 had been missing. She missed Touya and her father, too, but it wasn’t
|
|
rlm@0
|
400 the same. She knew that was just homesickness, but this... This she
|
|
rlm@0
|
401 wasn’t so sure of. Tomoyo had been her best friend for so long and
|
|
rlm@0
|
402 she’d always made her feel like everything would turn out for the
|
|
rlm@0
|
403 best, that life really was an exciting and wonderful journey. And
|
|
rlm@0
|
404 with Tomoyo by her side, it always had been. Now she was continuing
|
|
rlm@0
|
405 that journey without Tomoyo, but with her husband by her side. That
|
|
rlm@0
|
406 thought hurt her. Because she missed the pale woman’s impact on her
|
|
rlm@0
|
407 life. The way she was always there for her no matter her problems or
|
|
rlm@0
|
408 what was going on in. The way she made her feel so warm and special.
|
|
rlm@0
|
409 The way she gave her all of her attention even if she didn’t need it.
|
|
rlm@0
|
410 But it didn’t make sense. She had her husband now and a new life.
|
|
rlm@0
|
411 Tomoyo was very important to her, but her priority now was her
|
|
rlm@0
|
412 husband and her new family. “I’m really happy to have you here, too,
|
|
rlm@0
|
413 Tomoyo-chan.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
414 Tomoyo sensed the uneasiness in Sakura’s voice, as if she was
|
|
rlm@0
|
415 confused about something. She had heard that tone in her so often
|
|
rlm@0
|
416 before, on the phone or when they were together. It was usually when
|
|
rlm@0
|
417 Sakura was trying to understand something, to make sense out of
|
|
rlm@0
|
418 things with her innocent determination. Tomoyo leaned back against
|
|
rlm@0
|
419 her, her bare feet touching Sakura’s knees. Sakura’s fingers paused
|
|
rlm@0
|
420 for a brief moment before returning to the task of braiding her hair.
|
|
rlm@0
|
421 “Sakura-chan, you’re happy here in your new life, aren’t you?” her
|
|
rlm@0
|
422 musical voice asked softly.
|
|
rlm@0
|
423 “Hmm?” Sakura asked distractedly. It took her a moment to shake off
|
|
rlm@0
|
424 her thoughts and return to the here and now. It had been so hypnotic,
|
|
rlm@0
|
425 the action of fixing Tomoyo’s hair, the wonderful scent, the warmth
|
|
rlm@0
|
426 in her heart at being here with her best friend. She had gotten
|
|
rlm@0
|
427 caught up in her thoughts. A smile crossed her lips. She didn’t even
|
|
rlm@0
|
428 have to think about that one. What a silly question! “Of course I am,
|
|
rlm@0
|
429 Tomoyo-chan. I’m very happy here. Syaoran-chan’s sisters are all very
|
|
rlm@0
|
430 nice and I finally get to be with my husband. It’s wonderful here.
|
|
rlm@0
|
431 The city’s beautiful. Though sometimes I get a little homesick. And I
|
|
rlm@0
|
432 really don’t think Ieran-sama likes me very much. And I really do
|
|
rlm@0
|
433 miss you a lot, Tomoyo-chan.” Her fingers grasped more of Tomoyo’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
434 hair as she leaned closer to the dark haired woman. Letters and phone
|
|
rlm@0
|
435 calls just weren’t a good enough substitute for actually being with
|
|
rlm@0
|
436 her best friend. She brushed past Tomoyo’s neck, playing with the
|
|
rlm@0
|
437 silky strands in her grasp.
|
|
rlm@0
|
438 “I’ll always be there for you, Sakura-chan. For as long as you need
|
|
rlm@0
|
439 me. So please don’t feel lonely. It makes me feel sad that I would
|
|
rlm@0
|
440 lessen your happiness here in your new life. You have so much here to
|
|
rlm@0
|
441 be happy about. You have Li-kun now to make you happy. You don’t ever
|
|
rlm@0
|
442 have to feel lonely because my heart is always with you. My thoughts
|
|
rlm@0
|
443 are always filled with you.” Tomoyo was sure glad that Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
444 couldn’t see her face because she barely had the will to put up her
|
|
rlm@0
|
445 mask this time. Her stormy blue eyes were downcast, looking at the
|
|
rlm@0
|
446 clasped hands in her lap. She was glad that Sakura missed her, but it
|
|
rlm@0
|
447 just made it hurt all the more that she would have to fade out of her
|
|
rlm@0
|
448 life. She no longer had a part in Sakura’s life and she was trying to
|
|
rlm@0
|
449 come to grips with that. Sakura was happy in her new life. She didn’t
|
|
rlm@0
|
450 need Tomoyo anymore.
|
|
rlm@0
|
451 Frowning, Sakura shook her head. She felt a little frightened at
|
|
rlm@0
|
452 the way Tomoyo put that. It was as if Tomoyo thought that there would
|
|
rlm@0
|
453 come a time when she wouldn’t need her anymore. “But I’ll always need
|
|
rlm@0
|
454 you, Tomoyo-chan. You’re my best friend. You always help me so much.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
455 Her arms wrapped around her second cousin’s waist, pulling her into a
|
|
rlm@0
|
456 warm hug. She felt Tomoyo relax slowly into it. Sakura let her eyes
|
|
rlm@0
|
457 fall closed, trying to understand the tumultuous feelings inside of
|
|
rlm@0
|
458 her. Part of her wanted to break down and cry and to ask Tomoyo never
|
|
rlm@0
|
459 to leave her side again while the other part knew that she had to let
|
|
rlm@0
|
460 her go when the time came. Their lives were going down different
|
|
rlm@0
|
461 paths now. She held Tomoyo tighter, unsure of what to say.
|
|
rlm@0
|
462 Tomoyo let her eyes fall closed as she leaned back into Sakura’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
463 embrace. She felt safe in Sakura’s arms, like nothing could come to
|
|
rlm@0
|
464 pull her away. This was where she wanted to be, more than anywhere
|
|
rlm@0
|
465 else in the world. But she knew that Sakura was wrong. One day, the
|
|
rlm@0
|
466 brunette would no longer need her anymore. And she would silently
|
|
rlm@0
|
467 fade from her life, until all that was left was a memory. The thought
|
|
rlm@0
|
468 felt like a jagged icicle through her heart, but her love for Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
469 slowly melted it. She had to. For Sakura’s sake. All she could do was
|
|
rlm@0
|
470 love her from afar. “Arigato gozimasu, Sakura-chan,” she whispered
|
|
rlm@0
|
471 softly, forgetting her worries as she lost herself in Sakura’s arms.
|
|
rlm@0
|
472 Out of all of their contact, holding hands and even Sakura fixing her
|
|
rlm@0
|
473 hair, what she loved the most was when Sakura would hug her. Her
|
|
rlm@0
|
474 gentle yet strong arms always gripped her so warmly, even when Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
475 would hug her seeking comfort. It was a wonderful sensation, being
|
|
rlm@0
|
476 able to get so close to Sakura, to feel her heart beating against
|
|
rlm@0
|
477 her. It was times like this that she almost feared her own heart
|
|
rlm@0
|
478 would give her away as it pounded in her chest.
|
|
rlm@0
|
479 Resting her head against Tomoyo’s back, Sakura’s cheek pressed
|
|
rlm@0
|
480 against the silky hair that fell past Tomoyo’s shoulders. It tickled
|
|
rlm@0
|
481 her cheek , causing her to shift more against the fragile woman in
|
|
rlm@0
|
482 her arms. The rest of the world seemed far away whenever they hugged,
|
|
rlm@0
|
483 gaining in distance for as long as they did. Her husband wasn’t much
|
|
rlm@0
|
484 for emotional displays, but she knew that Tomoyo would always shower
|
|
rlm@0
|
485 her with warmth, comfort, support, and love. Her soul always felt so
|
|
rlm@0
|
486 soothed when they were together, like Tomoyo’s gentle fingers were
|
|
rlm@0
|
487 stroking through her soul, making everything all right. She really
|
|
rlm@0
|
488 couldn't ask for a better best friend. Pulling Tomoyo closer, her
|
|
rlm@0
|
489 mind spun. There was so much she wanted to say to her, so much she
|
|
rlm@0
|
490 wanted to do, but she couldn’t make sense of any of it. She couldn’t
|
|
rlm@0
|
491 phrase any of what she wanted to say. It felt like it was all pure
|
|
rlm@0
|
492 emotion, swirling in her heart. For a moment, she forgot where she
|
|
rlm@0
|
493 was. The feelings inside her were so strong, urging to be let out.
|
|
rlm@0
|
494 Tomoyo’s soft hair against her, the rhythmic movement of her
|
|
rlm@0
|
495 breathing, the scent of her hair and the delightful little movements
|
|
rlm@0
|
496 she made all made her feel so... hanyaan. Her eyes blinked rapidly a
|
|
rlm@0
|
497 few times as she tried to sort out the thoughts that were attached to
|
|
rlm@0
|
498 that. “I.. umm... Tomoyo-chan, would you like to go out to the
|
|
rlm@0
|
499 garden? It’s really nice at night,” she asked quietly after a moment.
|
|
rlm@0
|
500 She felt Tomoyo’s hair brush against her as the dark haired woman
|
|
rlm@0
|
501 nodded.
|
|
rlm@0
|
502 “Hai, I’d like that, Sakura-chan. I’m sure it’s gorgeous,” Tomoyo
|
|
rlm@0
|
503 said sweetly. She made no attempt to move, remaining in Sakura’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
504 embrace for several long seconds until the brunette finally pulled
|
|
rlm@0
|
505 away and slipped off the bed. Her stormy blue eyes followed Sakura’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
506 movements, brimming with love for the Cardmistress. Sakura blushed a
|
|
rlm@0
|
507 bit at the look in her eyes and looked away. Tomoyo smiled gingerly
|
|
rlm@0
|
508 and took Sakura’s hand after joining her near the doorway. She held
|
|
rlm@0
|
509 it between both of her own hands for a minute, savoring the feeling.
|
|
rlm@0
|
510 Her fingers slowly intertwined with Sakura’s. Of course, she would go
|
|
rlm@0
|
511 anywhere with Sakura. She was far more gorgeous than any garden could
|
|
rlm@0
|
512 ever be. But if Sakura wanted to see the flowers, she would be happy
|
|
rlm@0
|
513 to watch her Sakura.
|
|
rlm@0
|
514
|
|
rlm@0
|
515 The two women tiptoed outside, not wanting to wake any of the
|
|
rlm@0
|
516 occupants in the large mansion as they made their way outside. The
|
|
rlm@0
|
517 beautiful moonshine cast them both in a dim glow as they stepped out
|
|
rlm@0
|
518 into the garden. The garden itself was stunning, as befitting the
|
|
rlm@0
|
519 House of Li. A large fountain sat in the center, water cascading down
|
|
rlm@0
|
520 into it like a tropical waterfall. Wonderfully scented exotic flowers
|
|
rlm@0
|
521 were placed all around the spacious garden, making it seem like a
|
|
rlm@0
|
522 magical place in the moonlight. The sight reminded Tomoyo of helping
|
|
rlm@0
|
523 to pick out the flowers for her mother’s garden back home and felt a
|
|
rlm@0
|
524 sliver of homesickness wash over her at the thought. But her mother
|
|
rlm@0
|
525 was probably fine. Sonomi always managed to handle things. “It’s very
|
|
rlm@0
|
526 pretty Sakura-chan. Do you come out here often?”
|
|
rlm@0
|
527 Sakura nodded, smiling over at the pale woman. She seemed to
|
|
rlm@0
|
528 shimmer in the moonlight, convincing Sakura even further that her
|
|
rlm@0
|
529 best friend had to be some angelic visitor. “Sometimes. I like to
|
|
rlm@0
|
530 come out here when I have the time. It kind of reminds me of when we
|
|
rlm@0
|
531 all used to go for picnics in the park. It’s not a lot like the park
|
|
rlm@0
|
532 but it’s just really nice out here.” Her emerald eyes flashed for a
|
|
rlm@0
|
533 second as they reflected the moonlight before falling closed. It was
|
|
rlm@0
|
534 still warm out, despite a slight breeze and she found the peaceful
|
|
rlm@0
|
535 serenity of the garden to be overwhelming.
|
|
rlm@0
|
536 Giggling softly, Tomoyo brought her free hand up to her cheek. “You
|
|
rlm@0
|
537 look so cute when you’re being nostalgic. I should loan you some of
|
|
rlm@0
|
538 my videos and watch you watching them.” Had they been apart at all?
|
|
rlm@0
|
539 It felt like they had been back home in Tomoeda just the day before,
|
|
rlm@0
|
540 like they had never been apart in the first place. It felt so nice to
|
|
rlm@0
|
541 be together again. Tomoyo had to remind herself to be careful. Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
542 was a married woman now. And this visit would probably be their last
|
|
rlm@0
|
543 time together. So she had to keep her displays in check. She couldn’t
|
|
rlm@0
|
544 just pour out her feelings for Sakura the way she used to.
|
|
rlm@0
|
545 Blushing despite Tomoyo’s attempt at controlling her usual
|
|
rlm@0
|
546 energetic love of Sakura, Sakura looked back at her old friend. “As
|
|
rlm@0
|
547 long as you keep sending the cooking videos. They’ve been a great
|
|
rlm@0
|
548 help. It feels like you’re right there with me when I’m watching
|
|
rlm@0
|
549 them. And it’s great to be able to see you after reading your
|
|
rlm@0
|
550 letters. I miss you so much sometimes that I can sit and watch them
|
|
rlm@0
|
551 over and over. You always look so pretty in them. Each time I see
|
|
rlm@0
|
552 them, it’s breathtaking.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
553 Tomoyo looked back at Sakura, her stormy blue eyes, looking deep
|
|
rlm@0
|
554 into her in the cool night air. Her soul sang out to her, but she
|
|
rlm@0
|
555 knew it went unanswered. She wanted so much to tell her how she felt,
|
|
rlm@0
|
556 to let her know how much that meant to her. That she dressed as
|
|
rlm@0
|
557 prettily as she could for Sakura in her videos. That she wanted to be
|
|
rlm@0
|
558 there with her while she was cooking. That she longed for her with
|
|
rlm@0
|
559 all her heart and soul. But all she could do was smile. “Thank you
|
|
rlm@0
|
560 very much, Sakura-chan. That makes me very happy.” The two walked in
|
|
rlm@0
|
561 silence for a moment as Tomoyo tried desperately to get a hold of the
|
|
rlm@0
|
562 runaway feelings burgeoning inside of her. Sakura was everything to
|
|
rlm@0
|
563 her, but she couldn’t let out her feelings. She had to keep them
|
|
rlm@0
|
564 locked up in her heart. Sakura had the key, but Tomoyo couldn’t tell
|
|
rlm@0
|
565 her. Sakura could never use the key. Her own heart already belonged
|
|
rlm@0
|
566 to another. So Tomoyo continued to smile, wanting so much to lose
|
|
rlm@0
|
567 herself once more in Sakura’s arms.
|
|
rlm@0
|
568 Sighing softly, Sakura fidgeted, trying to force her thoughts into
|
|
rlm@0
|
569 coherency. She wouldn’t have the lavender haired woman in Hong Kong
|
|
rlm@0
|
570 much longer and there was still so much left unsaid. But try as she
|
|
rlm@0
|
571 might, her feelings refused to clarify themselves to her. It was
|
|
rlm@0
|
572 frustrating, being here with her best friend and unable to voice the
|
|
rlm@0
|
573 emotions that were playing with her. Tomoyo slowly sat down on a
|
|
rlm@0
|
574 bench near the fountain, drawing Sakura down next to her. Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
575 looked into the stormy blue eyes greeting her and quickly looked
|
|
rlm@0
|
576 away. She couldn’t meet them. They held so much within their depths
|
|
rlm@0
|
577 that it almost scared her. It was like they could see deep inside of
|
|
rlm@0
|
578 her, at the feelings that even she couldn’t understand. And yet they
|
|
rlm@0
|
579 were extremely warm and gentle, filling her with strength. But they
|
|
rlm@0
|
580 held a touch of pain in them that she had never noticed in Tomoyo
|
|
rlm@0
|
581 before. It brought a dark cloud over her heart. What could hurt her
|
|
rlm@0
|
582 like that? Behind Tomoyo’s smile, there was something exquisitely
|
|
rlm@0
|
583 painful dwelling in her heart. Now that she looked closer, the
|
|
rlm@0
|
584 smiling stormy blue eyes had cracks in them, painful shards that only
|
|
rlm@0
|
585 hinted at the torment of the girl they belonged to. Which all served
|
|
rlm@0
|
586 to confuse Sakura even more. “Tomoyo-chan, are you still happy with
|
|
rlm@0
|
587 your decision? With not telling the person you like? I mean, when you
|
|
rlm@0
|
588 told me about it, I was so sure that you were right. That the person
|
|
rlm@0
|
589 you liked must be really happy so that should make you happy. But
|
|
rlm@0
|
590 now...” She took a breath, looking up to gaze directly into Tomoyo’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
591 eyes. “Tomoyo-chan, I’m not sure anymore. It can’t be right. You said
|
|
rlm@0
|
592 you would be happy about it, but you never said anything about it
|
|
rlm@0
|
593 hurting you. I should have known earlier. But you must be so lonely,
|
|
rlm@0
|
594 watching your special someone happy with someone else. It’s not fair.
|
|
rlm@0
|
595 You can’t be alone. You just can’t. You’re too important to me to be
|
|
rlm@0
|
596 alone forever. I can’t let you. You will have your wedding. I
|
|
rlm@0
|
597 promise. Because it’s too sad if Tomoyo-chan never gets to be a
|
|
rlm@0
|
598 blushing bride.” She shook her head, trying to focus through her
|
|
rlm@0
|
599 tears. She hadn’t even noticed them until then. Her heart broke at
|
|
rlm@0
|
600 the look in Tomoyo’s blue eyes. She looked scared and hurt, the mask
|
|
rlm@0
|
601 that had been covering them slipping off. For a brief second, Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
602 could see the true extent of the pain that Tomoyo was in. It ran deep
|
|
rlm@0
|
603 through her soul, like a deep ravine. She was colder and more alone
|
|
rlm@0
|
604 than Sakura could ever truly realize. But before she could comment,
|
|
rlm@0
|
605 it was covered up as if it had never been there at all. And Tomoyo
|
|
rlm@0
|
606 was smiling again.
|
|
rlm@0
|
607 “You’re so sweet, Sakura-chan. I’m lucky to have such a wonderful
|
|
rlm@0
|
608 best friend. I’m glad you’re worried, but you really shouldn’t be,”
|
|
rlm@0
|
609 Tomoyo said softly, her delicate fingers brushing away Sakura’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
610 tears. The brunette looked on in confusion. Had it just been the
|
|
rlm@0
|
611 lighting? Tomoyo seemed completely fine now. Her smile still strong
|
|
rlm@0
|
612 and bright, her eyes covering over the cracks she had seen in
|
|
rlm@0
|
613 Tomoyo’s soul. Had she been mistaken? “I’m sure. I would live my
|
|
rlm@0
|
614 whole life alone if it would make my special person happy. When you
|
|
rlm@0
|
615 love someone enough that their own happiness means so much more to
|
|
rlm@0
|
616 you than your own, then you know that it truly is love. I know I love
|
|
rlm@0
|
617 my special person with all my heart and soul. I would do anything for
|
|
rlm@0
|
618 them. I would be happy to be with them, but if I can’t make them
|
|
rlm@0
|
619 happy, doesn’t it make sense that they should be with whoever can
|
|
rlm@0
|
620 make them happy? It would be selfish to try to keep them all to
|
|
rlm@0
|
621 myself. I won’t weigh them down. For me, it’s a joy to see them
|
|
rlm@0
|
622 soaring in the air, happy and free. I could never deprive them of
|
|
rlm@0
|
623 their happiness. So in a way, I am making them happy. And that brings
|
|
rlm@0
|
624 a song to my heart. If I could keep them all to myself or give them
|
|
rlm@0
|
625 up to be with whoever would make them happy, I would let them go.
|
|
rlm@0
|
626 Because I love her so much that I would do anything, sacrifice
|
|
rlm@0
|
627 anything, to make sure that she lives a happy life. And if I can’t be
|
|
rlm@0
|
628 a part of it, then that’s okay. Because my heart will always belong
|
|
rlm@0
|
629 to my special person.” The sweet musical voice had begun to falter
|
|
rlm@0
|
630 near the end, her stormy blue eyes shimmering wetly in the moonlight,
|
|
rlm@0
|
631 yet her smile remained constant. They remained focussed on Sakura’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
632 emerald orbs, as if whispering ‘I love you’.
|
|
rlm@0
|
633 “But Tomoyo-chan, doesn’t it feel lonely that way? Don’t you feel
|
|
rlm@0
|
634 sad?” Sakura asked, grabbing Tomoyo’s hands with her own. She had to
|
|
rlm@0
|
635 know. She knew that she couldn’t do the same thing if she were in
|
|
rlm@0
|
636 Tomoyo’s position. It sounded too painful, too sad. How could she be
|
|
rlm@0
|
637 happy like that?
|
|
rlm@0
|
638 Tomoyo nodded slowly, the wind playing with her long hair. “Hai, it
|
|
rlm@0
|
639 can get lonely sometimes. And I do feel sad, too. But Sakura-chan,
|
|
rlm@0
|
640 you have to understand. Sometimes you love something so much that you
|
|
rlm@0
|
641 have to set it free. Like a child. You love your child so much but
|
|
rlm@0
|
642 one day they have to leave you. But you love them so much that you
|
|
rlm@0
|
643 have to let them. I love my special person with all my heart. But I
|
|
rlm@0
|
644 can’t hold on because I can’t interfere with their happiness. So I
|
|
rlm@0
|
645 have to let them go out and live their own beautiful life. Because I
|
|
rlm@0
|
646 love them.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
647 Shaking her head, Sakura held onto Tomoyo’s hands tightly. What
|
|
rlm@0
|
648 Tomoyo said was sounding suspiciously familiar with what she had
|
|
rlm@0
|
649 often said about Sakura herself. “I still don’t understand. It’s just
|
|
rlm@0
|
650 too sad. I don’t see why you can’t make your special person happy.
|
|
rlm@0
|
651 Anyone would be lucky to have you, Tomoyo-chan. It’s not right for
|
|
rlm@0
|
652 you to be alone like this. I don’t want you to be alone. You make me
|
|
rlm@0
|
653 so happy that I can’t imagine any man who's heart you couldn't win.
|
|
rlm@0
|
654 Seeing you alone hurts me, Tomoyo-chan.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
655 Biting back tears, Tomoyo tried in vain to hold herself together.
|
|
rlm@0
|
656 “No, please don’t say that, Sakura-chan. It shouldn’t make you sad.
|
|
rlm@0
|
657 I’m fine. I’ll always be fine as long as my special person is happy.
|
|
rlm@0
|
658 Please, Sakura-chan... I have to be alone. My special person already
|
|
rlm@0
|
659 has someone. They’re already happy. I can’t interfere with that. And
|
|
rlm@0
|
660 I wouldn’t. I need you to be happy, Sakura-chan. Please be happy or
|
|
rlm@0
|
661 it’s all been for nothing. I know I can’t have my special person.
|
|
rlm@0
|
662 I’ve known that for years. But I can’t stop loving them because my
|
|
rlm@0
|
663 heart belongs to them, even if they’ll never know. You have to be
|
|
rlm@0
|
664 happy for me, Sakura-chan. I don’t think I can hold on if you take
|
|
rlm@0
|
665 that away from me.” Her voice was strained, tears streaking her pale
|
|
rlm@0
|
666 cheeks. Her mother had warned her about this trip and now she wished
|
|
rlm@0
|
667 she had agreed to call it off. Sonomi had been through the same
|
|
rlm@0
|
668 thing, after all. But she had thought that she had to come. Her
|
|
rlm@0
|
669 carefully orchestrated masks had finally proven worthless,
|
|
rlm@0
|
670 splintering into pieces at Sakura’s words. It was a paradox that
|
|
rlm@0
|
671 Sakura couldn’t see. She loved Sakura, but Sakura couldn’t love her.
|
|
rlm@0
|
672 And Sakura wanted her to be with her true love so that she could be
|
|
rlm@0
|
673 happy. Which brought her back to the beginning, where Sakura couldn’t
|
|
rlm@0
|
674 love her. It would ruin everything. But she couldn’t explain it to
|
|
rlm@0
|
675 Sakura, couldn’t make her realize that she had to be happy for her
|
|
rlm@0
|
676 even if she was alone. She dimly felt Sakura pulling her into her
|
|
rlm@0
|
677 arms, holding onto her dearly. Tomoyo let herself collapse in
|
|
rlm@0
|
678 Sakura’s embrace. She had tried so hard to keep her pain hidden from
|
|
rlm@0
|
679 Sakura for all these years but the past few moments had ruined all of
|
|
rlm@0
|
680 it.
|
|
rlm@0
|
681 Sakura was amazed at the sudden change in Tomoyo’s behavior, from
|
|
rlm@0
|
682 smiling and calm to wracked with sobs. So she hadn’t been mistaken
|
|
rlm@0
|
683 after all. She stroked Tomoyo’s back gently, the same way Tomoyo used
|
|
rlm@0
|
684 to whenever she would cry in her arms. “Oh, Tomoyo-chan,” she
|
|
rlm@0
|
685 whispered softly. The dark haired woman was more hurt by her special
|
|
rlm@0
|
686 person than she had ever let on. Sakura’s heart felt ready to break
|
|
rlm@0
|
687 as she pulled her pale best friend closer. She didn’t know what to
|
|
rlm@0
|
688 say. But a new resolve grew within her. She would find a way to make
|
|
rlm@0
|
689 Tomoyo happy. Somehow. She couldn’t let Tomoyo stay in so much pain.
|
|
rlm@0
|
690 The two woman stayed that way for a long time. Neither were sure of
|
|
rlm@0
|
691 how much time had finally passed when Tomoyo stopped crying on
|
|
rlm@0
|
692 Sakura’s shoulder. “Gomen nasai, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said weakly.
|
|
rlm@0
|
693 “I’ve been so tired lately with working on Hanako-chan and all and I
|
|
rlm@0
|
694 haven’t really slept much since I got here.” She felt horrible. How
|
|
rlm@0
|
695 much damage had she caused? She had never meant for Sakura to see her
|
|
rlm@0
|
696 like that. Crying like that, thinking that way was only for when she
|
|
rlm@0
|
697 was all alone. She never wanted to hurt Sakura, especially with the
|
|
rlm@0
|
698 burden of her own terrible loneliness. And what if this spurred her
|
|
rlm@0
|
699 on to find out who her special person was? A shiver went through her
|
|
rlm@0
|
700 body at the thought. It suddenly felt very cold.
|
|
rlm@0
|
701 Smiling softly, Sakura shook her head. “No, it’s okay, Tomoyo-chan.
|
|
rlm@0
|
702 I’m glad. I really don’t think I’ve seen you cry often. I’m your best
|
|
rlm@0
|
703 friend. I want to help you. And if you feel bad about this, then I
|
|
rlm@0
|
704 want to know about it.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
705 Resting her head against Sakura’s shoulder, Tomoyo tried to calm
|
|
rlm@0
|
706 herself. In Sakura’s embrace, she found it remarkably easy to do.
|
|
rlm@0
|
707 “No, I don’t feel bad about it, Sakura-chan. Sometimes I just wish
|
|
rlm@0
|
708 that I could be with my special person. But I know it can’t be. I
|
|
rlm@0
|
709 hope you understand. It truly does mean everything to me that they’re
|
|
rlm@0
|
710 happy. I love them dearly and to see them delighted means that I’ve
|
|
rlm@0
|
711 helped to make sure that their life will be a joyous one. It hurts
|
|
rlm@0
|
712 sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And being with you
|
|
rlm@0
|
713 makes me happy, Sakura-chan. In your arms, I feel like it’s all
|
|
rlm@0
|
714 perfectly fine. Being with Sakura-chan makes it all worthwhile.” She
|
|
rlm@0
|
715 sighed softly, her nose brushing past Sakura’s neck. “I’m so happy to
|
|
rlm@0
|
716 be with you, I don’t need anything else. Hearing your warm, joyous
|
|
rlm@0
|
717 heartbeat makes my heart want to beat in rhythm with it.” Her eyes
|
|
rlm@0
|
718 closed as she held onto Sakura. “Treasured moments like these
|
|
rlm@0
|
719 reassure me that what I did was the right thing. Because I know that
|
|
rlm@0
|
720 I had to make sure my true love was the happiest.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
721 Sakura sat in silence, feeling the rise and fall of Tomoyo’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
722 breathing. Her own eyes were closed, listening to the toy designer’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
723 beautiful voice. “Tomoyo-chan,” the brunette finally spoke at last.
|
|
rlm@0
|
724 “I don’t ever want you to go. I want to be with you always. I want to
|
|
rlm@0
|
725 know that my best friend is always close by when I need her. I do
|
|
rlm@0
|
726 need you. You act like one day I’ll just stop needing you and that’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
727 not true at all. Tomoyo-chan, I can’t imagine life without you. From
|
|
rlm@0
|
728 the day we’ve met, you’ve always been so wonderful to me. And I want
|
|
rlm@0
|
729 you to have the same happiness I have. I want you to be married and
|
|
rlm@0
|
730 happy.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
731 Giggling softly, Tomoyo sat up against Sakura, looking into her
|
|
rlm@0
|
732 jade eyes. “But Sakura-chan, I am happy. You make me happy. All of
|
|
rlm@0
|
733 the time I’ve spent with you, all of the memories you have given me,
|
|
rlm@0
|
734 I treasure them close to my heart.” Taking Sakura’s hand, she placed
|
|
rlm@0
|
735 it gently over her heart, which was still beating rapidly. “You’re
|
|
rlm@0
|
736 why I know that I can do this. Because you make me so happy that I
|
|
rlm@0
|
737 know it’s worth making my special person as happy as they can be,
|
|
rlm@0
|
738 even if we can’t be together. Seeing you smile, hearing about you
|
|
rlm@0
|
739 being in love with your new husband, it all makes me think ‘Sakura-
|
|
rlm@0
|
740 chan is so happy. I know that no matter what happens, Sakura-chan
|
|
rlm@0
|
741 will live a wonderful life’. Everything has a price, Sakura-chan. But
|
|
rlm@0
|
742 I know that my special person’s happiness is worth any sacrifice. I
|
|
rlm@0
|
743 would do anything for them. Because I love them so much that I want
|
|
rlm@0
|
744 to give them all of the happiness of the world. And if I can’t give
|
|
rlm@0
|
745 it to them, at least I know someone else can.” Her stormy blue eyes
|
|
rlm@0
|
746 never left Sakura’s, her heart still pounding against Sakura’s palm.
|
|
rlm@0
|
747 Blushing deeply, Sakura nodded slowly. “But still... I.. I want to
|
|
rlm@0
|
748 make you happy, Tomoyo-chan. I want to..” She trailed off, unsure of
|
|
rlm@0
|
749 what she wanted to say. It almost sounded like Tomoyo was talking
|
|
rlm@0
|
750 about her. But that was silly. How could she be Tomoyo’s special
|
|
rlm@0
|
751 person? “If I was your special person,” she began softly, the blush
|
|
rlm@0
|
752 tinting her cheeks crimson, “I would want so much to make my Tomoyo-
|
|
rlm@0
|
753 chan the happiest person in the world.” Glistening like an angel in
|
|
rlm@0
|
754 the pale light, Sakura was rewarded with a genuine smile from Tomoyo.
|
|
rlm@0
|
755 She was gorgeous, her heart so earnest with the happiness of her true
|
|
rlm@0
|
756 love. It was awe-inspiring. Tomoyo had such a loving soul that it
|
|
rlm@0
|
757 surprised Sakura sometimes with the strength of the love Tomoyo could
|
|
rlm@0
|
758 pour out. That, too, was something she had missed.
|
|
rlm@0
|
759 “Then Sakura-chan understands,” Tomoyo said quietly, her eyes
|
|
rlm@0
|
760 finally closing. She felt relief wash through her at that. Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
761 finally understood. After all this time. She didn’t let go of
|
|
rlm@0
|
762 Sakura’s hand at first, still holding it to her heart, wanting to
|
|
rlm@0
|
763 convey that the beating was for her alone. When she finally let go,
|
|
rlm@0
|
764 Sakura’s hand stayed on it’s own. Her stormy blue eyes opened to
|
|
rlm@0
|
765 Sakura’s still looking into their depths.
|
|
rlm@0
|
766 “You’re heart’s beating so fast,” Sakura whispered after a moment.
|
|
rlm@0
|
767 Her feelings weren’t confusing her so much anymore. She did
|
|
rlm@0
|
768 understand, like Tomoyo had said. So that was true love, wanting more
|
|
rlm@0
|
769 than anything for your true love to be happy. Loving them so much
|
|
rlm@0
|
770 that your heart would always belong to them. When she thought about
|
|
rlm@0
|
771 it that way, it did make sense. Her emotions slowed in their swirl in
|
|
rlm@0
|
772 her heart.
|
|
rlm@0
|
773 Tomoyo smiled softly, holding Sakura’s gaze. “It’s because I’m very
|
|
rlm@0
|
774 happy right now. I love being here with you, Sakura-chan. You make my
|
|
rlm@0
|
775 heart pound in joy. Sakura-chan’s cute, genki spirit fills me with
|
|
rlm@0
|
776 energy. So much energy that it doesn’t know where to go and it gets
|
|
rlm@0
|
777 all trapped inside. It’s saying Sa Ku Ra. Sa Ku Ra.” She knew that
|
|
rlm@0
|
778 this type of thing was exactly what she had planned on holding back
|
|
rlm@0
|
779 from during her trip, but she couldn’t help herself. Sakura’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
780 presence warmed her heart, filling up the emptiness that had existed
|
|
rlm@0
|
781 within her while they were apart. Living without Sakura was
|
|
rlm@0
|
782 infinitely more painful than she had originally thought.
|
|
rlm@0
|
783 “Tomoyo-chan.” Sakura couldn’t look away, her eyes focussed on the
|
|
rlm@0
|
784 brilliant blue orbs in front of her. The pale woman’s essence seemed
|
|
rlm@0
|
785 to wrap itself around her heart, pulling her closer. “Tomoyo-chan,
|
|
rlm@0
|
786 you make me happy, too,” she finally got out, barely above a whisper.
|
|
rlm@0
|
787 “You make me feel so special. You make me feel... loved.” That
|
|
rlm@0
|
788 realization hit her with a sudden impact. Tomoyo did make her feel
|
|
rlm@0
|
789 all those things and more. She filled her up with all sorts of warm
|
|
rlm@0
|
790 feelings inside.
|
|
rlm@0
|
791 “That’s all I want, Sakura-chan. I want you to be happy,” Tomoyo
|
|
rlm@0
|
792 whispered softly, leaning nearer to Sakura. Her fingers lightly
|
|
rlm@0
|
793 brushed through Sakura’s considerably shorter hair.
|
|
rlm@0
|
794 Sakura rested her head against Tomoyo’s hand, her eyes half closed
|
|
rlm@0
|
795 as she tried to make sense out of the sudden realizations. Her mind
|
|
rlm@0
|
796 was having a difficult time following as Tomoyo drew ever nearer. It
|
|
rlm@0
|
797 took a moment for her to notice that she was leaning closer as well.
|
|
rlm@0
|
798 Once again, it seemed like pure emotions were driving her. For a
|
|
rlm@0
|
799 brief moment, it didn’t matter if any of it made sense. It just was.
|
|
rlm@0
|
800 “Tomoyo-chan,” she got out silently. The two were finally inches
|
|
rlm@0
|
801 apart. She could feel Tomoyo’s soft breath against her. She really
|
|
rlm@0
|
802 was stunningly gorgeous. She had known that for a long time, but she
|
|
rlm@0
|
803 had never quite seen her in this light.
|
|
rlm@0
|
804 Watching Sakura’s bright emerald eyes, Tomoyo could see the same
|
|
rlm@0
|
805 shining determination that had always captivated her about them.
|
|
rlm@0
|
806 Their glimmer seemed to draw her forward. Sakura had grown into such
|
|
rlm@0
|
807 a pretty young woman, always managing to draw Tomoyo’s attention. She
|
|
rlm@0
|
808 was still amazingly cute, but she had gained a very pretty look to
|
|
rlm@0
|
809 her as well. Tomoyo had begun mentioning that as well over recent
|
|
rlm@0
|
810 years, whereas when they had been younger she had always embarrassed
|
|
rlm@0
|
811 Sakura about how cute she was. But right now she was content to bathe
|
|
rlm@0
|
812 in that beauty, in the shining light from Sakura’s heart that she
|
|
rlm@0
|
813 could feel radiating from her. Tomoyo’s masks were broken for the
|
|
rlm@0
|
814 time being, left behind. She couldn’t hide the glimmer of her own
|
|
rlm@0
|
815 heart. It was impossible to keep it back, nearly blinding her with
|
|
rlm@0
|
816 the love she felt for the woman in front of her. Sakura’s own heart
|
|
rlm@0
|
817 was beating furiously against her as she drew the brunette closer in
|
|
rlm@0
|
818 her arms. “Sakura-chan.” Sakura was her entire world. Nothing existed
|
|
rlm@0
|
819 beyond the pretty Cardmistress. Her fingers played across Sakura’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
820 ear. She had always found her ears incredibly cute when they were
|
|
rlm@0
|
821 younger. She still did. Everything about her was perfect. Tomoyo
|
|
rlm@0
|
822 loved all of her, even her flaws, the few she had. They were all part
|
|
rlm@0
|
823 of what made her love Sakura so dearly. The few inches between them
|
|
rlm@0
|
824 beckoned, Sakura’s lips seeming ever closer. Before she quite knew
|
|
rlm@0
|
825 what had happened, her lips brushed lightly against Sakura’s. To her
|
|
rlm@0
|
826 surprise, Sakura didn’t move back in the slightest. In fact, Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
827 moved closer to her dark haired best friend, her lips pressing back
|
|
rlm@0
|
828 against Tomoyo’s. Sakura’s eyes fell closed, but Tomoyo’s remained
|
|
rlm@0
|
829 open, wanting to see Sakura the entire time. Dream or not, this
|
|
rlm@0
|
830 moment would forever remain in her heart.
|
|
rlm@0
|
831 Sakura blushed feverishly as she felt herself returning Tomoyo’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
832 kiss. Tomoyo's lips were petal soft and inviting, drowning out all
|
|
rlm@0
|
833 conscious thought from Sakura. Her hands rested at the small of
|
|
rlm@0
|
834 Tomoyo’s back as the eccentric heiress’s fingers kept playing with
|
|
rlm@0
|
835 her hair. This felt perfect. Her entire body and soul ached for
|
|
rlm@0
|
836 Tomoyo. She could feel her heart going out to the dark haired woman,
|
|
rlm@0
|
837 begging for her warmth and love. And Tomoyo happily gave that with
|
|
rlm@0
|
838 all that she was. Tomoyo’s tongue slowly pushed between her lips
|
|
rlm@0
|
839 after a time, and Sakura graciously accepted, thrilled at the feeling
|
|
rlm@0
|
840 of Tomoyo’s tongue in her mouth. She kissed back with all of her
|
|
rlm@0
|
841 heart, her fingers clasping together as she pulled Tomoyo tighter.
|
|
rlm@0
|
842 For the first time since she had come to Hong Kong, and possibly for
|
|
rlm@0
|
843 the first time in her life, she felt complete. It was like a circuit
|
|
rlm@0
|
844 was completed within her, love pouring through her entire body. It
|
|
rlm@0
|
845 was different from the kisses she got from Syaoran. This was gentler,
|
|
rlm@0
|
846 sweetly exploring all that there was to offer. Tomoyo kissed slowly
|
|
rlm@0
|
847 but passionately, giving of herself completely to Sakura. His were a
|
|
rlm@0
|
848 little more forceful, more to the point. Forgetting all about that as
|
|
rlm@0
|
849 the kiss grew more passionate, she held on tightly to her best
|
|
rlm@0
|
850 friend. The feelings rushing through her felt stronger than any magic
|
|
rlm@0
|
851 she had ever experienced. Tomoyo didn’t need magic to touch her soul.
|
|
rlm@0
|
852 Her kiss was magical enough.
|
|
rlm@0
|
853 When the kiss finally ended, the two woman held very close in the
|
|
rlm@0
|
854 cool night air. Peaceful silence surrounded them, the only sound that
|
|
rlm@0
|
855 of the flowing water. ‘The love in your heart has to flow, just like
|
|
rlm@0
|
856 water,’ Tomoyo thought to herself as she held onto Sakura, her head
|
|
rlm@0
|
857 resting on the brunette’s shoulder. Her hands went gently up and down
|
|
rlm@0
|
858 Sakura’s back as Sakura lightly toyed with her hair. The two stayed
|
|
rlm@0
|
859 that way for a long while, Sakura finally falling asleep in Tomoyo’s
|
|
rlm@0
|
860 arms.
|
|
rlm@0
|
861
|
|
rlm@0
|
862 Watching from the deck where she had concealed herself, Ieran
|
|
rlm@0
|
863 watched the entire scene unfold. Yes, she had been right after all.
|
|
rlm@0
|
864 This would require quite a bit of thought. Turning from her daughter-
|
|
rlm@0
|
865 in-law and her friend, Ieran faded into the night.
|
|
rlm@0
|
866
|
|
rlm@0
|
867
|
|
rlm@0
|
868
|
|
rlm@0
|
869
|
|
rlm@0
|
870
|
|
rlm@0
|
871
|
|
rlm@0
|
872
|
