rlm@0: Dear Sakura:
rlm@0: Together Again
rlm@0: by The Amazoness Duo
rlm@0: amazonessduo@hotmail.com
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	“Damn it!” Sonomi screamed into the empty expanses of the vacation
rlm@0: home up in the mountains. It was supposed to be a retreat from the
rlm@0: pain of everyday life, a place of refuge that she could take her
rlm@0: darling daughter to and escape for a few days. It was a comfortable
rlm@0: little place up in the mountains that she had picked out with Tomoyo
rlm@0: years earlier. But this visit was anything but relaxing. Her retreat
rlm@0: had betrayed her, leaving her just as pained as if she were right in
rlm@0: the middle of things. It offered little escape this time, the
rlm@0: knowledge that Tomoyo was off in Hong Kong with the woman that had
rlm@0: broken her heart firmly in Sonomi’s overworked mind. Yet even with
rlm@0: that knowledge, she still expected to see her dark haired daughter
rlm@0: out in the garden, videotaping the beautiful flowers and butterflies
rlm@0: or on the balcony watching Sakura-shaped clouds in the sky. And each
rlm@0: time, she was profoundly disappointed to find her little girl absent
rlm@0: from her usual charming activities. 
rlm@0: 	Puffing on her cigarette, Sonomi leaned against the balcony
rlm@0: railing, watching the garden where she and Tomoyo would have picnics
rlm@0: on their visits. Normally, smoking wasn’t a habit she kept up with.
rlm@0: Back when she had first picked it up in high school, it was rather
rlm@0: short lived after Nadeshiko’s insistence that she stop. And she had.
rlm@0: Despite it’s ability to help her relax when things were too
rlm@0: stressful, she would do anything for her gentle goddess. Who needed
rlm@0: such a thing when they had a sweet cousin like Nadeshiko by their
rlm@0: side? It would be bad for her running, after all, just like Nadeshiko
rlm@0: had said. Even if HE could beat her at track. But he was the only one
rlm@0: who could beat her. He always was. But somehow, he managed to beat
rlm@0: her at everything. At racing and at love. He had stolen her beloved
rlm@0: Nadeshiko’s heart away from her, even though she had promised
rlm@0: Nadeshiko that she would protect her from people like him. Part of
rlm@0: Sonomi had died that day, at the wedding. More of her had died after
rlm@0: Nadeshiko’s death some years later. Sometimes she thought that the
rlm@0: only reason any of her was still alive at all was because of Tomoyo.
rlm@0: Her darling daughter was another sweet angel in her life. And Tomoyo
rlm@0: didn’t like it when she smoked either, telling her that it made her
rlm@0: sad to see Sonomi doing such things to herself. So she had quit again
rlm@0: for the sake of her little daughter, deciding that she was worth any
rlm@0: sacrifice. 
rlm@0: 	But right now, neither Nadeshiko nor Tomoyo were there with her.
rlm@0: And she was feeling self-destructive. She wanted to breathe smoke.
rlm@0: She wanted to throw away all of her professional success in the past
rlm@0: few years. She wanted to destroy every one of her racing trophies.
rlm@0: What did any of it mean anymore? She had been twice blessed to have
rlm@0: angels come into her life, but one had left it painfully and the
rlm@0: other was being torn apart in front of her eyes. And as always,
rlm@0: Sonomi, the brash and protective woman that she had always been, was
rlm@0: completely helpless to stop it. That made this all the more painful.
rlm@0: The memory of watching Nadeshiko during her dying days haunted her.
rlm@0: She had promised to protect her little cousin and she had been
rlm@0: powerless to hold back death’s embrace from whisking her away. And
rlm@0: now it was all happening again. Her angelic daughter was dying in her
rlm@0: own way. And once again she was forced to watch. She couldn’t force
rlm@0: that pain away with a glance, hold her daughter close and protect her
rlm@0: from the cold knives of pain the world was intent on throwing at her.
rlm@0: Yet Tomoyo smiled through it all. An angel to the bitter end, she
rlm@0: tried so hard to keep her mother happy while her own soul was being
rlm@0: cut into. 
rlm@0: 	“Agh!!” Sonomi hit the railing she was leaning against fiercely
rlm@0: with her right hand. The pain that shot through her clenched fist
rlm@0: just sought to anger her even more. “Nadeshiko-chan, why does it have
rlm@0: to be this way? Why does she have to get hurt as well? Am I cursed?
rlm@0: Is she destined to relive my pain?” The business woman’s voice
rlm@0: lowered as her blue eyes closed, imagining her darling cousin’s image
rlm@0: in her mind's eye, speaking directly to her as she often did when she
rlm@0: was hurting. “Please tell me, Nadeshiko-chan. I don’t understand.” 
rlm@0: 	The wind whispered in her ear, blowing about Sonomi’s short
rlm@0: brunette hair as if in answer, but she was still left all alone. A
rlm@0: slender hand went to her mouth, deep breaths escaping her lips as she
rlm@0: tried to calm herself. The breaths were shaky at best, barely holding
rlm@0: back the onslaught of rage and loss that threatened to overcome her.
rlm@0: But Sonomi was a strong woman. She had survived this long.
rlm@0: Unfortunately, the waves always seemed to get higher in her life,
rlm@0: threatening to drown her in sorrow. She could almost hear Nadeshiko
rlm@0: chiding her about the cigarette. A small, pained laugh left her as
rlm@0: she put it out. “She’s so very much like you, Nadeshiko-chan. I could
rlm@0: never stand to see you suffer at all. I promised I’d always protect
rlm@0: you. Why do I have to watch her follow the same path I went through?
rlm@0: Why can’t I take away her pain?” Her eyes opened slowly, looking out
rlm@0: across the garden. Her heart dropped when what she thought was either
rlm@0: Nadeshiko or her daughter’s lovely gray hair happened to be nothing
rlm@0: more than some dust being thrown around by the wind. “Sometimes I
rlm@0: swear our daughters must have gotten switched at birth, Nadeshiko-
rlm@0: chan. She’s so kind and gentle like you. And she has such a loving
rlm@0: heart. She holds in so much pain and it’s killing me to watch her in
rlm@0: it, pretending it’s not even there. Please... Please, Nadeshiko-chan.
rlm@0: Don’t let this happen again. Don’t let what happened to us happen to
rlm@0: our daughters. I love you so much. I can’t stand to see my little
rlm@0: girl go through the same pain.” 
rlm@0: 	Sonomi slumped to her knees on the balcony, her body feeling weak
rlm@0: beyond its years. Her memories of Nadeshiko were all too vivid, all
rlm@0: too painful in her mind. Every glimpse, every touch, it all came back
rlm@0: with surprising force. Her heart longed for her dearly departed
rlm@0: cousin, missing her more and more with each passing day. Not a day
rlm@0: went by when her thoughts weren’t consumed with the woman she loved.
rlm@0: Her death had only served to separate them even farther. And if it
rlm@0: hadn’t been for Tomoyo, Sonomi would have been quick to join her.
rlm@0: “Nadeshiko-chan, I need you. Why did you leave me? You’re everything
rlm@0: to me.” Even with her eyes open, she could still see the haunting
rlm@0: afterimage of Nadeshiko, her smile tugging at the business woman’s
rlm@0: heart. “You always said I was strong. But damnit, Nadeshiko-chan, I
rlm@0: was strong for you. Because I wanted to protect you. Because I wanted
rlm@0: to make you happy. If I couldn’t do that for you and if I can’t for
rlm@0: Tomoyo-chan, then what good is any of it? Why does my pain have to
rlm@0: live on through my daughter? This can’t happen.” She sighed weakly,
rlm@0: running her hands through her hair. Her jumbled emotions were all
rlm@0: calling for attention, leaving her feeling burnt out inside. She felt
rlm@0: so weak and helpless, unable to change anything. The river of life
rlm@0: had her caught tragically in it’s current and she could cause little
rlm@0: more than ripples in the water. 
rlm@0: “I’m sorry for being angry with your Sakura-chan, but I can’t help
rlm@0: it. Tomoyo-chan’s so much like you and seeing the pain in her eyes
rlm@0: that Sakura-chan causes in her is unbearable for me. I can’t help but
rlm@0: see some of Fujitaka-sensei in her now that I see her hurting Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan so much. And I’m sorry about that. I know she’s your little
rlm@0: girl, but seeing my daughter in pain...” She sighed, shaking her head
rlm@0: as Tomoyo came to mind. What was happening to her over in Hong Kong
rlm@0: right now? Why couldn’t she have come with her? It would have been
rlm@0: better for the both of them. “But Tomoyo-chan wouldn’t want me mad at
rlm@0: Sakura-chan either. She would say it wasn’t her fault and that she
rlm@0: was happy for her. But I can see underneath those words at the pain
rlm@0: underneath and it tears me up inside. She’s so sad and she won’t let
rlm@0: it out. Because she doesn’t want me to worry about her. I guess I
rlm@0: shouldn’t be mad at Sakura-chan. It’s the same thing that happened
rlm@0: with you. You went off and got married, too. But that just makes this
rlm@0: even worse because I know exactly what hell Tomoyo-chan is going
rlm@0: through. And I can’t tell her it will get any better because I still
rlm@0: miss you.”
rlm@0: 	Her blue eyes falling closed again, Sonomi could swear she felt
rlm@0: Nadeshiko’s gentle fingers brush past her cheek reassuringly. “Please
rlm@0: don’t let this happen, Nadeshiko-chan...”
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	An exhausted pale woman plopped down onto a guestroom’s futon bed
rlm@0: in a flurry of dark hair. The day had been long for Daidouji Tomoyo
rlm@0: and she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. But all of that
rlm@0: hardly mattered to the young heiress. Smiling to herself, Tomoyo
rlm@0: brought a hand up to her mouth and yawned. She had almost forgotten
rlm@0: how much energy it took to keep up with Sakura. The brunette seemed
rlm@0: to be nearly inexhaustible in whatever she did. And that mixture of
rlm@0: determination, enthusiasm, and pure loveable spirit always managed to
rlm@0: draw Tomoyo along afterward in awe. Never having been as energetic as
rlm@0: Sakura, the other woman’s presence managed to revitalize her. 
rlm@0: 	Being with Sakura again was like a beautiful dream. But like all
rlm@0: dreams, she knew that she would eventually have to awaken from it.
rlm@0: That thought brought her back to reality, her hand instinctively
rlm@0: reaching for her camcorder. If she had to leave her beloved Sakura,
rlm@0: she needed to have every precious second on videotape. Checking to
rlm@0: make sure that it had new film, she gently placed it on the large
rlm@0: Victorian style desk. Those memories of Sakura might be the last she
rlm@0: would have after this visit. She would slowly allow herself to fade
rlm@0: from Sakura’s life completely after returning home. It would make
rlm@0: things easier for Sakura who had already started a new life that she
rlm@0: couldn’t be a part of. Eventually, Sakura would forget about her,
rlm@0: happily living out her new life in wedded bliss. 
rlm@0: 	“Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered sadly as she sat back on the bed.
rlm@0: Her stormy blue eyes clouded over, tears threatening to break through
rlm@0: her carefully orchestrated masks, ready to spill past her ivory
rlm@0: cheeks. How can you give up the one you love? How can you let
rlm@0: yourself become nothing more than a memory? Because you love them.
rlm@0: Because you must set them free to live their life without you. Tomoyo
rlm@0: knew that she would forever be bound to her love for Sakura, but the
rlm@0: emerald eyed woman would soon have no need for her. Staying in her
rlm@0: life would just be painful for the both of them. She had told Sakura
rlm@0: that the most important thing in her life was that her beloved was
rlm@0: happy. Even if they couldn’t be together. “I know you don’t
rlm@0: understand, Sakura-chan. And hopefully you’ll never have to. When I’m
rlm@0: gone, I’ll be happy knowing that you’re smiling.” 
rlm@0: 	So if this was going to be her last time with Sakura, every single
rlm@0: moment had to be treasured fully in Tomoyo’s heart. The dark haired
rlm@0: designer smiled a bit, wiping the tears from her eyes. That part was
rlm@0: easy, Sakura’s warm aura lifting her heart up. To be with Sakura
rlm@0: again was truly a vacation from the loneliness and sleepless nights
rlm@0: that she had been dealing with since the wedding. Her aching heart
rlm@0: felt like it would burst to be near the Cardmistress again. Sakura
rlm@0: was just as cute and sweet as always. She was becoming a gorgeous
rlm@0: young woman. Sakura truly was the perfect bride. Li-kun was very
rlm@0: lucky to be blessed with Sakura’s presence. Though curiously enough,
rlm@0: Tomoyo hadn’t seen an awful lot of him. She would have thought that
rlm@0: he would be there near Sakura during the entire visit, bathing in her
rlm@0: glorious nature the same way Tomoyo herself did. Yet she’d barely
rlm@0: seen the Chinese Sorcerer at all. That coupled with Sakura’s
rlm@0: increased outpouring of affection had her confused. If Sakura’s
rlm@0: letters were any indication, she really had missed the company of her
rlm@0: best friend. And Tomoyo could agree with that notion wholeheartedly.
rlm@0: She missed Sakura terribly every day that she was without her. So she
rlm@0: would be happy to be by Sakura’s side for the duration of the visit.
rlm@0: This one day alone had been worth all of the months of loneliness and
rlm@0: pain to be able to enjoy the beauty of Hong Kong right alongside her
rlm@0: gorgeous Sakura.
rlm@0: 	Wincing slightly at the weariness in her body, Tomoyo began looking
rlm@0: through the cedar chest in her room for a nightgown. Memories of the
rlm@0: day and her time with Sakura kept racing through her mind, bringing a
rlm@0: smile to her lips. Sakura really hadn’t changed much during her time
rlm@0: in Hong Kong. She was still the same wonderful woman that Tomoyo had
rlm@0: fallen in love with years before. And her presence still made
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s heart flare up with love for the brunette. Sakura’s sweet
rlm@0: voice still rang in her ears like a beautiful song, making her feel
rlm@0: peaceful and calm. 
rlm@0: Singing softly to herself, Tomoyo finally picked out a cyan
rlm@0: nightgown and set it down gently on the bed. She didn’t sing in front
rlm@0: of people the way she had back when she was on the choir club, but
rlm@0: she still sang often when she was alone. It was something she had
rlm@0: always enjoyed doing. It was a way of letting herself drift, letting
rlm@0: her thoughts flow free. Her mind could wander along to the rhythm of
rlm@0: the music, but it always invariably settled on one thing in
rlm@0: particular; Sakura.  And that’s where her mind had settled now as she
rlm@0: let her hair down from the ponytail it had been in all day, long dark
rlm@0: hair pooling about her shoulders. Her clothes were laid neatly on the
rlm@0: bed before she pulled the nightgown over her head. Getting ready for
rlm@0: bed in Hong Kong again brought back memories of her first trip there
rlm@0: with Sakura. She had even spent the night at this very house while
rlm@0: she had been there, though that time she had shared a bed with
rlm@0: Sakura. This time Sakura would be sharing a bed with her husband. So
rlm@0: some things had changed since her last visit. Her heart wavered for a
rlm@0: moment, but she forced the saddening thought away. At least Sakura
rlm@0: was here. That’s why she had returned to this house, after all.
rlm@0: Because Sakura had gotten married. And other than a few moments that
rlm@0: day when Sakura had been rather emotional, she seemed to be happy. So
rlm@0: she should be glad for her. The only reason Sakura was overemotional
rlm@0: was because of her visit anyway. Sakura wouldn’t need to hide her
rlm@0: tears in dressing rooms after she was gone. 
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo closed her eyes, taking an unsteady breath. “Sakura-chan...”
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	Meanwhile, the subject of Tomoyo’s thoughts was getting ready for
rlm@0: bed herself. Sakura had already changed into her pajamas and was
rlm@0: sitting next to Syaoran on the bed. Her poor husband looked so tired.
rlm@0: She had been talking about her day with Tomoyo ever since she had
rlm@0: gotten back home and he had quietly listened the whole time. He was
rlm@0: lying on the bed, his eyes half open. Sakura giggled softly and
rlm@0: brushed some hair from her eyes. “Gomen, Syaoran-chan.” She leaned
rlm@0: forward and gave her husband a brief kiss. “Work must have been tough
rlm@0: today. Maybe we can talk about it later.”
rlm@0: 	Syaoran nodded, his eyes half closed as he suppressed a yawn.
rlm@0: “Sure.” He stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep his eyes open.
rlm@0: “It was a long day. We should get some sleep.” His eyes opened after
rlm@0: slipping closed for a second when he felt Sakura’s head on his chest.
rlm@0: 	Sakura sighed softly. Even after all that she had done that day,
rlm@0: she still wasn’t feeling tired. She was too excited to be tired.
rlm@0: After being Tomoyo-less for months and months, her best friend was
rlm@0: only a few rooms away. Her mind wouldn’t shut off long enough for her
rlm@0: to sleep. Tomoyo stirred so many feelings inside of her. It was
rlm@0: difficult to comprehend. “Hai, you’re right. I think I’m going to go
rlm@0: check on Tomoyo-chan first before I go to sleep,” she said
rlm@0: thoughtfully.
rlm@0: 	“Daidouji’s like Meiling,” Syaoran stated matter-of-factly, his
rlm@0: concentration blurring as sleep began to prey on his mind.
rlm@0: 	“Hoe?”
rlm@0: 	Syaoran yawned again, resting his head back. “Yeah. They both like
rlm@0: to say embarrassing things.” 
rlm@0: 	A giggle escaped Sakura’s lips at that. “I guess that’s true. I
rlm@0: never really thought about it. But it’s nice when she says them.”
rlm@0: Kissing Syaoran’s cheek, she sat back up. Tomoyo might already be
rlm@0: asleep, but she thought it would be okay if she just peeked in to
rlm@0: check up on her. Or to at least catch a glimpse of her best friend.
rlm@0: She felt like a little girl trying to get a last glimpse at the
rlm@0: Christmas Tree before being forced off to bed. “I’ll be back in a
rlm@0: little bit. Go ahead and go to sleep. I’ll join you soon.” She smiled
rlm@0: sweetly at her husband as she slid off the bed. He watched her for a
rlm@0: moment, offering a half smile of his own before rolling over and
rlm@0: closing his eyes. 
rlm@0: 	Padding silently out of the room, Sakura made her way down the hall
rlm@0: towards Tomoyo’s guestroom. Tomoyo had nearly fallen asleep with her
rlm@0: head on Sakura’s shoulder earlier, so Sakura doubted she would still
rlm@0: be awake. But it would be nice to see her again before going to sleep
rlm@0: herself.  The door opened slowly after she grasped the doorknob. 
rlm@0: 	“Hello, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said warmly from inside. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura sweatdropped as she entered, closing the door quietly behind
rlm@0: her. “Gomen nasai, Tomoyo-chan. I thought you were asleep. I hope you
rlm@0: don’t mind.” She returned the pale woman’s warm smile. “I just wanted
rlm@0: to see you again.”
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo shook her head, her dark hair swaying with the motion. “No,
rlm@0: I’m glad you came, Sakura-chan. I was hoping you would. I’m always
rlm@0: happy to see you.” Patting the bed next to her, Tomoyo made room for
rlm@0: her hostess. Thoughts of seeing Sakura again had filled her mind for
rlm@0: the last few minutes, but she hadn’t actually thought that Sakura
rlm@0: would stop by before the morning. Seeing Sakura now got rid of the
rlm@0: sadness tinged thoughts associated with the visit. It really was
rlm@0: great to see her. There was the same sparkle in Sakura’s emerald eyes
rlm@0: that had always sent a thrill through her heart and the same smile
rlm@0: that always warmed her. Tomoyo giggled softly and tilted her head to
rlm@0: the side. “No matter how much you change, you’re still my cute Sakura-
rlm@0: chan.”
rlm@0: 	Accepting the proffered seat, Sakura looked back at Tomoyo
rlm@0: thoughtfully. She was glad that Tomoyo was awake. It was much better
rlm@0: than just catching a glimpse of her sleeping friend. Tomoyo’s musical
rlm@0: voice and the  sweet things she said still embarrassed her at times,
rlm@0: but she was happy to hear them. For so long she had been missing
rlm@0: those little remarks of Tomoyo’s, reading them over and over in her
rlm@0: letters and waiting for every Sunday to hear her on the phone. It
rlm@0: really did make her feel good inside. “I hope I can always be your
rlm@0: cute Sakura-chan,” she replied, blushing slightly. Tomoyo always had
rlm@0: a way of getting to her that way. 
rlm@0: 	“You will. Because I’ll always have my memories of you. And I have
rlm@0: a lot of it down on videotape, captured moments of your youth ready
rlm@0: to be watched again and again and again as I reminisce about my days
rlm@0: with Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo explained, still smiling sweetly. Her
rlm@0: clasped hands were in her lap. She had always known that one day
rlm@0: Sakura would have to leave her and that she would be left with
rlm@0: nothing but her memories. So she had videotaped everything she could,
rlm@0: wanting to capture as much of Sakura as she could. There was so much
rlm@0: more to the brunette, but all she had was a library of videotape now
rlm@0: that Sakura was in Hong Kong. And she was glad for it. Now that she
rlm@0: couldn’t spend time with Sakura anymore outside this little trip, the
rlm@0: videos were all she had left. There would be no more new moments with
rlm@0: her, no more happy times spent together. But all of the old ones were
rlm@0: ready for her to replay when she was lonely or to watch through when
rlm@0: she was sad. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura reached out slowly, her fingers gently brushing through
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s long lavender hair. She had let it grow from the last time
rlm@0: Sakura had seen her, now reaching well past her waist. She always had
rlm@0: the most gorgeous hair, trying it in all sorts of styles. It was
rlm@0: always a wonder to Sakura how she managed to be so creative with it.
rlm@0: The soft hair felt wonderful underneath her fingers. “Umm... Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan? Would you mind if I fixed your hair again? Like when we were
rlm@0: younger?” Sakura sweatdropped a bit and looked down. She felt
rlm@0: childish for asking such a thing. Tomoyo was a full grown woman now,
rlm@0: no longer the delicate child she remembered. It seemed awkward to be
rlm@0: asking it, but after the dream she had, she longed for the old days.
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s captivating smile dissipated her worries.
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo’s heart had stopped when Sakura’s fingers began playing with
rlm@0: her hair. Sakura’s magic touch entranced her more than any of her
rlm@0: Cards could. It took her a moment to reply to Sakura’s request for
rlm@0: fear of reacting at all and breaking the moment. “I’d like that very
rlm@0: much, Sakura-chan. I always loved when you would be the one to fix my
rlm@0: hair.” Her voice had almost gotten caught in her throat, her cheeks
rlm@0: darkening slightly as Sakura’s fingers continued through her hair.
rlm@0: Oh, it was perfect! Her hands were so gentle as they continued on
rlm@0: their path. Tomoyo felt so peaceful, so complete inside. Yes, this
rlm@0: was love. Having her hair fixed by Sakura. Even if it was just
rlm@0: reliving old times for Sakura, she would play this over and over
rlm@0: again in her mind for years to come. For a brief moment, she could
rlm@0: even pretend this was the way things were. That after a long day at
rlm@0: work, she had come home to her dearest Sakura and that she had
rlm@0: offered to fix her hair for her, lovingly teasing with her fingers.
rlm@0: Even if the illusion didn’t last long, the warm feelings in her heart
rlm@0: grew considerably. If this was to be her last visit with Sakura, it
rlm@0: certainly was turning out well at this rate.
rlm@0: 	Giggling happily, Sakura crawled up onto the bed behind Tomoyo, her
rlm@0: fingers still running through the lavender trusses. “Arigato, Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan! It’s kind of like with Hanako-chan. Whenever I fix her hair, I
rlm@0: think about you. It was always so beautiful, no matter what style you
rlm@0: had it in.” For a brief moment, the woman in front of her was a
rlm@0: blushing girl of ten again, sitting in barely hidden anticipation.
rlm@0: Sakura shook the mental image off, but she smiled in spite of
rlm@0: herself. Gathering up Tomoyo’s hair, she looked at it thoughtfully.
rlm@0: Tomoyo scarcely moved an inch aside from a blissful sigh. Nodding to
rlm@0: herself, Sakura began braiding Tomoyo’s hair, enjoying the feel of
rlm@0: the silky strands between her fingers. For the moment, her only
rlm@0: concern was how to fix Tomoyo’s hair. And she found that simple task
rlm@0: relaxed her in ways that she hadn’t been able to in months. The sweet
rlm@0: scent of Tomoyo’s lavender hair was lovely. She leaned closer,
rlm@0: burying her face into the hair for a moment. It really was wonderful.
rlm@0: Just like Tomoyo, it was sweet and calming. She couldn’t see the
rlm@0: deepening blush on Tomoyo’s pale cheeks as she finally continued
rlm@0: braiding. 
rlm@0: 	“I have some ribbons if you would like to use them, Sakura-chan,”
rlm@0: Tomoyo offered helpfully, scooting back so that she could be closer
rlm@0: to the Cardmistress. This had to be a glimpse of what Heaven was
rlm@0: like. Her heart skipped a beat as Sakura’s fingers brushed some hair
rlm@0: past her shoulder, the fingers lingering there for a brief second
rlm@0: before moving on. If only this one moment could last for an eternity.
rlm@0: Her heart sang out to Sakura, reaching out for her, bursting with her
rlm@0: love for the brunette. But she sat still as Sakura’s fingers fixed
rlm@0: her hair, content in this moment. ‘I love you, Sakura-chan. And
rlm@0: moments like these just remind me of how eternally grateful I am to
rlm@0: have met you,’ she thought to herself. 
rlm@0: 	“Oh, right! Those ones you bought during the shopping trip. They
rlm@0: should be around here somewhere.” Sakura looked around thoughtfully
rlm@0: before Tomoyo handed a bag to Sakura. Inside were several deep green
rlm@0: silk ribbons. She ran her fingers over them as she pulled them out,
rlm@0: looking back at Tomoyo’s hair for where to place them. They were
rlm@0: beautiful and soft to the touch, but she found herself enjoying the
rlm@0: feeling of Tomoyo’s hair much more. Her fingers went back to work,
rlm@0: tying them in with careful movements. “You look so pretty, Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan.”
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes fluttered open slowly, smiling happily.
rlm@0: The past few months seemed insignificant and far away. They didn’t
rlm@0: matter. All that mattered was this moment alone with Sakura. It was
rlm@0: perfect. “Thank you so much, Sakura-chan. You don’t know how happy
rlm@0: that makes me. Being here with you like this, hearing your voice and
rlm@0: knowing you’re right here with me, I don’t think I could be happier.
rlm@0: I’m so lucky to be here with you. I’ll always remember this trip,”
rlm@0: she said cheerfully. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura giggled. She could almost see the stars in Tomoyo’s eyes. It
rlm@0: was just the way she remembered her. This trip had been exactly what
rlm@0: she needed. She didn’t feel so lonely or out of place anymore now
rlm@0: that Tomoyo was back with her. Her heart swelled to hear the sweet
rlm@0: remarks Tomoyo always showered her with. Their time together had
rlm@0: always been important to her, but it wasn’t until recently that she
rlm@0: had realized just how important. Not having Tomoyo with her was like
rlm@0: losing a part of herself. She didn’t feel as confident or as sure
rlm@0: about herself without the dark haired woman’s love and support.  Now
rlm@0: that the heiress was here, she felt even more sure of it. That’s what
rlm@0: had been missing in her life since she had moved to Hong Kong. But it
rlm@0: confused her because she didn’t quite understand what it was that she
rlm@0: had been missing. She missed Touya and her father, too, but it wasn’t
rlm@0: the same. She knew that was just homesickness, but this... This she
rlm@0: wasn’t so sure of. Tomoyo had been her best friend for so long and
rlm@0: she’d always made her feel like everything would turn out for the
rlm@0: best, that life really was an exciting and wonderful journey. And
rlm@0: with Tomoyo by her side, it always had been. Now she was continuing
rlm@0: that journey without Tomoyo, but with her husband by her side. That
rlm@0: thought hurt her. Because she missed the pale woman’s impact on her
rlm@0: life. The way she was always there for her no matter her problems or
rlm@0: what was going on in. The way she made her feel so warm and special.
rlm@0: The way she gave her all of her attention even if she didn’t need it.
rlm@0: But it didn’t make sense. She had her husband now and a new life.
rlm@0: Tomoyo was very important to her, but her priority now was her
rlm@0: husband and her new family. “I’m really happy to have you here, too,
rlm@0: Tomoyo-chan.”
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo sensed the uneasiness in Sakura’s voice, as if she was
rlm@0: confused about something. She had heard that tone in her so often
rlm@0: before, on the phone or when they were together. It was usually when
rlm@0: Sakura was trying to understand something, to make sense out of
rlm@0: things with her innocent determination. Tomoyo leaned back against
rlm@0: her, her bare feet touching Sakura’s knees. Sakura’s fingers paused
rlm@0: for a brief moment before returning to the task of braiding her hair.
rlm@0: “Sakura-chan, you’re happy here in your new life, aren’t you?” her
rlm@0: musical voice asked softly.
rlm@0: 	“Hmm?” Sakura asked distractedly. It took her a moment to shake off
rlm@0: her thoughts and return to the here and now. It had been so hypnotic,
rlm@0: the action of fixing Tomoyo’s hair, the wonderful scent, the warmth
rlm@0: in her heart at being here with her best friend. She had gotten
rlm@0: caught up in her thoughts. A smile crossed her lips. She didn’t even
rlm@0: have to think about that one. What a silly question! “Of course I am,
rlm@0: Tomoyo-chan. I’m very happy here. Syaoran-chan’s sisters are all very
rlm@0: nice and I finally get to be with my husband. It’s wonderful here.
rlm@0: The city’s beautiful. Though sometimes I get a little homesick. And I
rlm@0: really don’t think Ieran-sama likes me very much. And I really do
rlm@0: miss you a lot, Tomoyo-chan.” Her fingers grasped more of Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: hair as she leaned closer to the dark haired woman. Letters and phone
rlm@0: calls just weren’t a good enough substitute for actually being with
rlm@0: her best friend. She brushed past Tomoyo’s neck, playing with the
rlm@0: silky strands in her grasp. 
rlm@0: 	“I’ll always be there for you, Sakura-chan. For as long as you need
rlm@0: me. So please don’t feel lonely. It makes me feel sad that I would
rlm@0: lessen your happiness here in your new life. You have so much here to
rlm@0: be happy about. You have Li-kun now to make you happy. You don’t ever
rlm@0: have to feel lonely because my heart is always with you. My thoughts
rlm@0: are always filled with you.” Tomoyo was sure glad that Sakura
rlm@0: couldn’t see her face because she barely had the will to put up her
rlm@0: mask this time. Her stormy blue eyes were downcast, looking at the
rlm@0: clasped hands in her lap. She was glad that Sakura missed her, but it
rlm@0: just made it hurt all the more that she would have to fade out of her
rlm@0: life. She no longer had a part in Sakura’s life and she was trying to
rlm@0: come to grips with that. Sakura was happy in her new life. She didn’t
rlm@0: need Tomoyo anymore.
rlm@0: 	Frowning, Sakura shook her head. She felt a little frightened at
rlm@0: the way Tomoyo put that. It was as if Tomoyo thought that there would
rlm@0: come a time when she wouldn’t need her anymore. “But I’ll always need
rlm@0: you, Tomoyo-chan. You’re my best friend. You always help me so much.”
rlm@0: Her arms wrapped around her second cousin’s waist, pulling her into a
rlm@0: warm hug. She felt Tomoyo relax slowly into it. Sakura let her eyes
rlm@0: fall closed, trying to understand the tumultuous feelings inside of
rlm@0: her. Part of her wanted to break down and cry and to ask Tomoyo never
rlm@0: to leave her side again while the other part knew that she had to let
rlm@0: her go when the time came. Their lives were going down different
rlm@0: paths now. She held Tomoyo tighter, unsure of what to say. 
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo let her eyes fall closed as she leaned back into Sakura’s
rlm@0: embrace. She felt safe in Sakura’s arms, like nothing could come to
rlm@0: pull her away. This was where she wanted to be, more than anywhere
rlm@0: else in the world. But she knew that Sakura was wrong. One day, the
rlm@0: brunette would no longer need her anymore. And she would silently
rlm@0: fade from her life, until all that was left was a memory. The thought
rlm@0: felt like a jagged icicle through her heart, but her love for Sakura
rlm@0: slowly melted it. She had to. For Sakura’s sake. All she could do was
rlm@0: love her from afar. “Arigato gozimasu, Sakura-chan,” she whispered
rlm@0: softly, forgetting her worries as she lost herself in Sakura’s arms.
rlm@0: Out of all of their contact, holding hands and even Sakura fixing her
rlm@0: hair, what she loved the most was when Sakura would hug her. Her
rlm@0: gentle yet strong arms always gripped her so warmly, even when Sakura
rlm@0: would hug her seeking comfort. It was a wonderful sensation, being
rlm@0: able to get so close to Sakura, to feel her heart beating against
rlm@0: her. It was times like this that she almost feared her own heart
rlm@0: would give her away as it pounded in her chest. 
rlm@0: 	Resting her head against Tomoyo’s back, Sakura’s cheek pressed
rlm@0: against the silky hair that fell past Tomoyo’s shoulders. It tickled
rlm@0: her cheek , causing her to shift more against the fragile woman in
rlm@0: her arms. The rest of the world seemed far away whenever they hugged,
rlm@0: gaining in distance for as long as they did. Her husband wasn’t much
rlm@0: for emotional displays, but she knew that Tomoyo would always shower
rlm@0: her with warmth, comfort, support, and love. Her soul always felt so
rlm@0: soothed when they were together, like Tomoyo’s gentle fingers were
rlm@0: stroking through her soul, making everything all right. She really
rlm@0: couldn't ask for a better best friend. Pulling Tomoyo closer, her
rlm@0: mind spun. There was so much she wanted to say to her, so much she
rlm@0: wanted to do, but she couldn’t make sense of any of it. She couldn’t
rlm@0: phrase any of what she wanted to say. It felt like it was all pure
rlm@0: emotion, swirling in her heart. For a moment, she forgot where she
rlm@0: was. The feelings inside her were so strong, urging to be let out.
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s soft hair against her, the rhythmic movement of her
rlm@0: breathing, the scent of her hair and the delightful little movements
rlm@0: she made all made her feel so... hanyaan. Her eyes blinked rapidly a
rlm@0: few times as she tried to sort out the thoughts that were attached to
rlm@0: that. “I.. umm... Tomoyo-chan, would you like to go out to the
rlm@0: garden? It’s really nice at night,” she asked quietly after a moment.
rlm@0: She felt Tomoyo’s hair brush against her as the dark haired woman
rlm@0: nodded.
rlm@0: 	“Hai, I’d like that, Sakura-chan. I’m sure it’s gorgeous,” Tomoyo
rlm@0: said sweetly. She made no attempt to move, remaining in Sakura’s
rlm@0: embrace for several long seconds until the brunette finally pulled
rlm@0: away and slipped off the bed. Her stormy blue eyes followed Sakura’s
rlm@0: movements, brimming with love for the Cardmistress. Sakura blushed a
rlm@0: bit at the look in her eyes and looked away. Tomoyo smiled gingerly
rlm@0: and took Sakura’s hand after joining her near the doorway. She held
rlm@0: it between both of her own hands for a minute, savoring the feeling.
rlm@0: Her fingers slowly intertwined with Sakura’s. Of course, she would go
rlm@0: anywhere with Sakura. She was far more gorgeous than any garden could
rlm@0: ever be. But if Sakura wanted to see the flowers, she would be happy
rlm@0: to watch her Sakura. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	The two women tiptoed outside, not wanting to wake any of the
rlm@0: occupants in the large mansion as they made their way outside. The
rlm@0: beautiful moonshine cast them both in a dim glow as they stepped out
rlm@0: into the garden. The garden itself was stunning, as befitting the
rlm@0: House of Li. A large fountain sat in the center, water cascading down
rlm@0: into it like a tropical waterfall. Wonderfully scented exotic flowers
rlm@0: were placed all around the spacious garden, making it seem like a
rlm@0: magical place in the moonlight. The sight reminded Tomoyo of helping
rlm@0: to pick out the flowers for her mother’s garden back home and felt a
rlm@0: sliver of homesickness wash over her at the thought. But her mother
rlm@0: was probably fine. Sonomi always managed to handle things. “It’s very
rlm@0: pretty Sakura-chan. Do you come out here often?”
rlm@0: 	Sakura nodded, smiling over at the pale woman. She seemed to
rlm@0: shimmer in the moonlight, convincing Sakura even further that her
rlm@0: best friend had to be some angelic visitor. “Sometimes. I like to
rlm@0: come out here when I have the time. It kind of reminds me of when we
rlm@0: all used to go for picnics in the park. It’s not a lot like the park
rlm@0: but it’s just really nice out here.” Her emerald eyes flashed for a
rlm@0: second as they reflected the moonlight before falling closed. It was
rlm@0: still warm out, despite a slight breeze and she found the peaceful
rlm@0: serenity of the garden to be overwhelming. 
rlm@0: 	Giggling softly, Tomoyo brought her free hand up to her cheek. “You
rlm@0: look so cute when you’re being nostalgic. I should loan you some of
rlm@0: my videos and watch you watching them.” Had they been apart at all?
rlm@0: It felt like they had been back home in Tomoeda just the day before,
rlm@0: like they had never been apart in the first place. It felt so nice to
rlm@0: be together again. Tomoyo had to remind herself to be careful. Sakura
rlm@0: was a married woman now. And this visit would probably be their last
rlm@0: time together. So she had to keep her displays in check. She couldn’t
rlm@0: just pour out her feelings for Sakura the way she used to. 
rlm@0: 	Blushing despite Tomoyo’s attempt at controlling her usual
rlm@0: energetic love of Sakura, Sakura looked back at her old friend. “As
rlm@0: long as you keep sending the cooking videos. They’ve been a great
rlm@0: help. It feels like you’re right there with me when I’m watching
rlm@0: them. And it’s great to be able to see you after reading your
rlm@0: letters. I miss you so much sometimes that I can sit and watch them
rlm@0: over and over. You always look so pretty in them. Each time I see
rlm@0: them, it’s breathtaking.”
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo looked back at Sakura, her stormy blue eyes, looking deep
rlm@0: into her in the cool night air. Her soul sang out to her, but she
rlm@0: knew it went unanswered. She wanted so much to tell her how she felt,
rlm@0: to let her know how much that meant to her. That she dressed as
rlm@0: prettily as she could for Sakura in her videos. That she wanted to be
rlm@0: there with her while she was cooking. That she longed for her with
rlm@0: all her heart and soul. But all she could do was smile. “Thank you
rlm@0: very much, Sakura-chan. That makes me very happy.” The two walked in
rlm@0: silence for a moment as Tomoyo tried desperately to get a hold of the
rlm@0: runaway feelings burgeoning inside of her. Sakura was everything to
rlm@0: her, but she couldn’t let out her feelings. She had to keep them
rlm@0: locked up in her heart. Sakura had the key, but Tomoyo couldn’t tell
rlm@0: her. Sakura could never use the key. Her own heart already belonged
rlm@0: to another. So Tomoyo continued to smile, wanting so much to lose
rlm@0: herself once more in Sakura’s arms. 
rlm@0: 	Sighing softly, Sakura fidgeted, trying to force her thoughts into
rlm@0: coherency. She wouldn’t have the lavender haired woman in Hong Kong
rlm@0: much longer and there was still so much left unsaid. But try as she
rlm@0: might, her feelings refused to clarify themselves to her. It was
rlm@0: frustrating, being here with her best friend and unable to voice the
rlm@0: emotions that were playing with her. Tomoyo slowly sat down on a
rlm@0: bench near the fountain, drawing Sakura down next to her. Sakura
rlm@0: looked into the stormy blue eyes greeting her and quickly looked
rlm@0: away. She couldn’t meet them. They held so much within their depths
rlm@0: that it almost scared her. It was like they could see deep inside of
rlm@0: her, at the feelings that even she couldn’t understand. And yet they
rlm@0: were extremely warm and gentle, filling her with strength. But they
rlm@0: held a touch of pain in them that she had never noticed in Tomoyo
rlm@0: before. It brought a dark cloud over her heart. What could hurt her
rlm@0: like that? Behind Tomoyo’s smile, there was something exquisitely
rlm@0: painful dwelling in her heart. Now that she looked closer, the
rlm@0: smiling stormy blue eyes had cracks in them, painful shards that only
rlm@0: hinted at the torment of the girl they belonged to. Which all served
rlm@0: to confuse Sakura even more. “Tomoyo-chan, are you still happy with
rlm@0: your decision? With not telling the person you like? I mean, when you
rlm@0: told me about it, I was so sure that you were right. That the person
rlm@0: you liked must be really happy so that should make you happy. But
rlm@0: now...” She took a breath, looking up to gaze directly into Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: eyes. “Tomoyo-chan, I’m not sure anymore. It can’t be right. You said
rlm@0: you would be happy about it, but you never said anything about it
rlm@0: hurting you. I should have known earlier. But you must be so lonely,
rlm@0: watching your special someone happy with someone else. It’s not fair.
rlm@0: You can’t be alone. You just can’t. You’re too important to me to be
rlm@0: alone forever. I can’t let you. You will have your wedding. I
rlm@0: promise. Because it’s too sad if Tomoyo-chan never gets to be a
rlm@0: blushing bride.” She shook her head, trying to focus through her
rlm@0: tears. She hadn’t even noticed them until then. Her heart broke at
rlm@0: the look in Tomoyo’s blue eyes. She looked scared and hurt, the mask
rlm@0: that had been covering them slipping off. For a brief second, Sakura
rlm@0: could see the true extent of the pain that Tomoyo was in. It ran deep
rlm@0: through her soul, like a deep ravine. She was colder and more alone
rlm@0: than Sakura could ever truly realize. But before she could comment,
rlm@0: it was covered up as if it had never been there at all. And Tomoyo
rlm@0: was smiling again.
rlm@0: 	“You’re so sweet, Sakura-chan. I’m lucky to have such a wonderful
rlm@0: best friend. I’m glad you’re worried, but you really shouldn’t be,”
rlm@0: Tomoyo said softly, her delicate fingers brushing away Sakura’s
rlm@0: tears. The brunette looked on in confusion. Had it just been the
rlm@0: lighting? Tomoyo seemed completely fine now. Her smile still strong
rlm@0: and bright, her eyes covering over the cracks she had seen in
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s soul. Had she been mistaken? “I’m sure. I would live my
rlm@0: whole life alone if it would make my special person happy. When you
rlm@0: love someone enough that their own happiness means so much more to
rlm@0: you than your own, then you know that it truly is love. I know I love
rlm@0: my special person with all my heart and soul. I would do anything for
rlm@0: them. I would be happy to be with them, but if I can’t make them
rlm@0: happy, doesn’t it make sense that they should be with whoever can
rlm@0: make them happy? It would be selfish to try to keep them all to
rlm@0: myself. I won’t weigh them down. For me, it’s a joy to see them
rlm@0: soaring in the air, happy and free. I could never deprive them of
rlm@0: their happiness. So in a way, I am making them happy. And that brings
rlm@0: a song to my heart. If I could keep them all to myself or give them
rlm@0: up to be with whoever would make them happy, I would let them go.
rlm@0: Because I love her so much that I would do anything, sacrifice
rlm@0: anything, to make sure that she lives a happy life. And if I can’t be
rlm@0: a part of it, then that’s okay. Because my heart will always belong
rlm@0: to my special person.” The sweet musical voice had begun to falter
rlm@0: near the end, her stormy blue eyes shimmering wetly in the moonlight,
rlm@0: yet her smile remained constant. They remained focussed on Sakura’s
rlm@0: emerald orbs, as if whispering ‘I love you’. 
rlm@0: 	“But Tomoyo-chan, doesn’t it feel lonely that way? Don’t you feel
rlm@0: sad?” Sakura asked, grabbing Tomoyo’s hands with her own. She had to
rlm@0: know. She knew that she couldn’t do the same thing if she were in
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s position. It sounded too painful, too sad. How could she be
rlm@0: happy like that?
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo nodded slowly, the wind playing with her long hair. “Hai, it
rlm@0: can get lonely sometimes. And I do feel sad, too. But Sakura-chan,
rlm@0: you have to understand. Sometimes you love something so much that you
rlm@0: have to set it free. Like a child. You love your child so much but
rlm@0: one day they have to leave you. But you love them so much that you
rlm@0: have to let them. I love my special person with all my heart. But I
rlm@0: can’t hold on because I can’t interfere with their happiness. So I
rlm@0: have to let them go out and live their own beautiful life. Because I
rlm@0: love them.”
rlm@0: 	Shaking her head, Sakura held onto Tomoyo’s hands tightly. What
rlm@0: Tomoyo said was sounding suspiciously familiar with what she had
rlm@0: often said about Sakura herself. “I still don’t understand. It’s just
rlm@0: too sad. I don’t see why you can’t make your special person happy.
rlm@0: Anyone would be lucky to have you, Tomoyo-chan. It’s not right for
rlm@0: you to be alone like this. I don’t want you to be alone. You make me
rlm@0: so happy that I can’t imagine any man who's heart you couldn't win.
rlm@0: Seeing you alone hurts me, Tomoyo-chan.”
rlm@0: 	Biting back tears, Tomoyo tried in vain to hold herself together.
rlm@0: “No, please don’t say that, Sakura-chan. It shouldn’t make you sad.
rlm@0: I’m fine. I’ll always be fine as long as my special person is happy.
rlm@0: Please, Sakura-chan... I have to be alone. My special person already
rlm@0: has someone. They’re already happy. I can’t interfere with that. And
rlm@0: I wouldn’t. I need you to be happy, Sakura-chan. Please be happy or
rlm@0: it’s all been for nothing. I know I can’t have my special person.
rlm@0: I’ve known that for years. But I can’t stop loving them because my
rlm@0: heart belongs to them, even if they’ll never know. You have to be
rlm@0: happy for me, Sakura-chan. I don’t think I can hold on if you take
rlm@0: that away from me.” Her voice was strained, tears streaking her pale
rlm@0: cheeks. Her mother had warned her about this trip and now she wished
rlm@0: she had agreed to call it off. Sonomi had been through the same
rlm@0: thing, after all. But she had thought that she had to come. Her
rlm@0: carefully orchestrated masks had finally proven worthless,
rlm@0: splintering into pieces at Sakura’s words. It was a paradox that
rlm@0: Sakura couldn’t see. She loved Sakura, but Sakura couldn’t love her.
rlm@0: And Sakura wanted her to be with her true love so that she could be
rlm@0: happy. Which brought her back to the beginning, where Sakura couldn’t
rlm@0: love her. It would ruin everything. But she couldn’t explain it to
rlm@0: Sakura, couldn’t make her realize that she had to be happy for her
rlm@0: even if she was alone. She dimly felt Sakura pulling her into her
rlm@0: arms, holding onto her dearly. Tomoyo let herself collapse in
rlm@0: Sakura’s embrace. She had tried so hard to keep her pain hidden from
rlm@0: Sakura for all these years but the past few moments had ruined all of
rlm@0: it. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura was amazed at the sudden change in Tomoyo’s behavior, from
rlm@0: smiling and calm to wracked with sobs. So she hadn’t been mistaken
rlm@0: after all. She stroked Tomoyo’s back gently, the same way Tomoyo used
rlm@0: to whenever she would cry in her arms. “Oh, Tomoyo-chan,” she
rlm@0: whispered softly. The dark haired woman was more hurt by her special
rlm@0: person than she had ever let on. Sakura’s heart felt ready to break
rlm@0: as she pulled her pale best friend closer. She didn’t know what to
rlm@0: say. But a new resolve grew within her. She would find a way to make
rlm@0: Tomoyo happy. Somehow. She couldn’t let Tomoyo stay in so much pain. 
rlm@0: 	The two woman stayed that way for a long time. Neither were sure of
rlm@0: how much time had finally passed when Tomoyo stopped crying on
rlm@0: Sakura’s shoulder. “Gomen nasai, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said weakly.
rlm@0: “I’ve been so tired lately with working on Hanako-chan and all and I
rlm@0: haven’t really slept much since I got here.” She felt horrible. How
rlm@0: much damage had she caused? She had never meant for Sakura to see her
rlm@0: like that. Crying like that, thinking that way was only for when she
rlm@0: was all alone. She never wanted to hurt Sakura, especially with the
rlm@0: burden of her own terrible loneliness. And what if this spurred her
rlm@0: on to find out who her special person was? A shiver went through her
rlm@0: body at the thought. It suddenly felt very cold.
rlm@0: 	Smiling softly, Sakura shook her head. “No, it’s okay, Tomoyo-chan.
rlm@0: I’m glad. I really don’t think I’ve seen you cry often. I’m your best
rlm@0: friend. I want to help you. And if you feel bad about this, then I
rlm@0: want to know about it.”
rlm@0: 	Resting her head against Sakura’s shoulder, Tomoyo tried to calm
rlm@0: herself. In Sakura’s embrace, she found it remarkably easy to do.
rlm@0: “No, I don’t feel bad about it, Sakura-chan. Sometimes I just wish
rlm@0: that I could be with my special person. But I know it can’t be. I
rlm@0: hope you understand. It truly does mean everything to me that they’re
rlm@0: happy. I love them dearly and to see them delighted means that I’ve
rlm@0: helped to make sure that their life will be a joyous one. It hurts
rlm@0: sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And being with you
rlm@0: makes me happy, Sakura-chan. In your arms, I feel like it’s all
rlm@0: perfectly fine. Being with Sakura-chan makes it all worthwhile.” She
rlm@0: sighed softly, her nose brushing past Sakura’s neck. “I’m so happy to
rlm@0: be with you, I don’t need anything else. Hearing your warm, joyous
rlm@0: heartbeat makes my heart want to beat in rhythm with it.” Her eyes
rlm@0: closed as she held onto Sakura. “Treasured moments like these
rlm@0: reassure me that what I did was the right thing. Because I know that
rlm@0: I had to make sure my true love was the happiest.”
rlm@0: 	Sakura sat in silence, feeling the rise and fall of Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: breathing. Her own eyes were closed, listening to the toy designer’s
rlm@0: beautiful voice. “Tomoyo-chan,” the brunette finally spoke at last.
rlm@0: “I don’t ever want you to go. I want to be with you always. I want to
rlm@0: know that my best friend is always close by when I need her. I do
rlm@0: need you. You act like one day I’ll just stop needing you and that’s
rlm@0: not true at all. Tomoyo-chan, I can’t imagine life without you. From
rlm@0: the day we’ve met, you’ve always been so wonderful to me. And I want
rlm@0: you to have the same happiness I have. I want you to be married and
rlm@0: happy.”
rlm@0: 	Giggling softly, Tomoyo sat up against Sakura, looking into her
rlm@0: jade eyes. “But Sakura-chan, I am happy. You make me happy. All of
rlm@0: the time I’ve spent with you, all of the memories you have given me,
rlm@0: I treasure them close to my heart.” Taking Sakura’s hand, she placed
rlm@0: it gently over her heart, which was still beating rapidly. “You’re
rlm@0: why I know that I can do this. Because you make me so happy that I
rlm@0: know it’s worth making my special person as happy as they can be,
rlm@0: even if we can’t be together. Seeing you smile, hearing about you
rlm@0: being in love with your new husband, it all makes me think ‘Sakura-
rlm@0: chan is so happy. I know that no matter what happens, Sakura-chan
rlm@0: will live a wonderful life’. Everything has a price, Sakura-chan. But
rlm@0: I know that my special person’s happiness is worth any sacrifice. I
rlm@0: would do anything for them. Because I love them so much that I want
rlm@0: to give them all of the happiness of the world. And if I can’t give
rlm@0: it to them, at least I know someone else can.” Her stormy blue eyes
rlm@0: never left Sakura’s, her heart still pounding against Sakura’s palm.
rlm@0: 	Blushing deeply, Sakura nodded slowly. “But still... I.. I want to
rlm@0: make you happy, Tomoyo-chan. I want to..” She trailed off, unsure of
rlm@0: what she wanted to say. It almost sounded like Tomoyo was talking
rlm@0: about her. But that was silly. How could she be Tomoyo’s special
rlm@0: person? “If I was your special person,” she began softly, the blush
rlm@0: tinting her cheeks crimson, “I would want so much to make my Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan the happiest person in the world.” Glistening like an angel in
rlm@0: the pale light, Sakura was rewarded with a genuine smile from Tomoyo.
rlm@0: She was gorgeous, her heart so earnest with the happiness of her true
rlm@0: love. It was awe-inspiring. Tomoyo had such a loving soul that it
rlm@0: surprised Sakura sometimes with the strength of the love Tomoyo could
rlm@0: pour out. That, too, was something she had missed.
rlm@0: 	“Then Sakura-chan understands,” Tomoyo said quietly, her eyes
rlm@0: finally closing. She felt relief wash through her at that. Sakura
rlm@0: finally understood. After all this time. She didn’t let go of
rlm@0: Sakura’s hand at first, still holding it to her heart, wanting to
rlm@0: convey that the beating was for her alone. When she finally let go,
rlm@0: Sakura’s hand stayed on it’s own. Her stormy blue eyes opened to
rlm@0: Sakura’s still looking into their depths. 
rlm@0: 	“You’re heart’s beating so fast,” Sakura whispered after a moment.
rlm@0: Her feelings weren’t confusing her so much anymore. She did
rlm@0: understand, like Tomoyo had said. So that was true love, wanting more
rlm@0: than anything for your true love to be happy. Loving them so much
rlm@0: that your heart would always belong to them. When she thought about
rlm@0: it that way, it did make sense. Her emotions slowed in their swirl in
rlm@0: her heart. 
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo smiled softly, holding Sakura’s gaze. “It’s because I’m very
rlm@0: happy right now. I love being here with you, Sakura-chan. You make my
rlm@0: heart pound in joy. Sakura-chan’s cute, genki spirit fills me with
rlm@0: energy. So much energy that it doesn’t know where to go and it gets
rlm@0: all trapped inside. It’s saying Sa Ku Ra. Sa Ku Ra.” She knew that
rlm@0: this type of thing was exactly what she had planned on holding back
rlm@0: from during her trip, but she couldn’t help herself. Sakura’s
rlm@0: presence warmed her heart, filling up the emptiness that had existed
rlm@0: within her while they were apart. Living without Sakura was
rlm@0: infinitely more painful than she had originally thought. 
rlm@0: 	“Tomoyo-chan.” Sakura couldn’t look away, her eyes focussed on the
rlm@0: brilliant blue orbs in front of her. The pale woman’s essence seemed
rlm@0: to wrap itself around her heart, pulling her closer. “Tomoyo-chan,
rlm@0: you make me happy, too,” she finally got out, barely above a whisper.
rlm@0: “You make me feel so special. You make me feel... loved.” That
rlm@0: realization hit her with a sudden impact. Tomoyo did make her feel
rlm@0: all those things and more. She filled her up with all sorts of warm
rlm@0: feelings inside. 
rlm@0: 	“That’s all I want, Sakura-chan. I want you to be happy,” Tomoyo
rlm@0: whispered softly, leaning nearer to Sakura. Her fingers lightly
rlm@0: brushed through Sakura’s considerably shorter hair. 
rlm@0: Sakura rested her head against Tomoyo’s hand, her eyes half closed
rlm@0: as she tried to make sense out of the sudden realizations. Her mind
rlm@0: was having a difficult time following as Tomoyo drew ever nearer. It
rlm@0: took a moment for her to notice that she was leaning closer as well.
rlm@0: Once again, it seemed like pure emotions were driving her. For a
rlm@0: brief moment, it didn’t matter if any of it made sense. It just was.
rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan,” she got out silently. The two were finally inches
rlm@0: apart. She could feel Tomoyo’s soft breath against her. She really
rlm@0: was stunningly gorgeous. She had known that for a long time, but she
rlm@0: had never quite seen her in this light. 
rlm@0: Watching Sakura’s bright emerald eyes, Tomoyo could see the same
rlm@0: shining determination that had always captivated her about them.
rlm@0: Their glimmer seemed to draw her forward. Sakura had grown into such
rlm@0: a pretty young woman, always managing to draw Tomoyo’s attention. She
rlm@0: was still amazingly cute, but she had gained a very pretty look to
rlm@0: her as well. Tomoyo had begun mentioning that as well over recent
rlm@0: years, whereas when they had been younger she had always embarrassed
rlm@0: Sakura about how cute she was. But right now she was content to bathe
rlm@0: in that beauty, in the shining light from Sakura’s heart that she
rlm@0: could feel radiating from her. Tomoyo’s masks were broken for the
rlm@0: time being, left behind. She couldn’t hide the glimmer of her own
rlm@0: heart. It was impossible to keep it back, nearly blinding her with
rlm@0: the love she felt for the woman in front of her. Sakura’s own heart
rlm@0: was beating furiously against her as she drew the brunette closer in
rlm@0: her arms. “Sakura-chan.” Sakura was her entire world. Nothing existed
rlm@0: beyond the pretty Cardmistress. Her fingers played across Sakura’s
rlm@0: ear. She had always found her ears incredibly cute when they were
rlm@0: younger. She still did. Everything about her was perfect. Tomoyo
rlm@0: loved all of her, even her flaws, the few she had. They were all part
rlm@0: of what made her love Sakura so dearly. The few inches between them
rlm@0: beckoned, Sakura’s lips seeming ever closer. Before she quite knew
rlm@0: what had happened, her lips brushed lightly against Sakura’s. To her
rlm@0: surprise, Sakura didn’t move back in the slightest. In fact, Sakura
rlm@0: moved closer to her dark haired best friend, her lips pressing back
rlm@0: against Tomoyo’s. Sakura’s eyes fell closed, but Tomoyo’s remained
rlm@0: open, wanting to see Sakura the entire time. Dream or not, this
rlm@0: moment would forever remain in her heart. 
rlm@0: Sakura blushed feverishly as she felt herself returning Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: kiss. Tomoyo's lips were petal soft and inviting, drowning out all
rlm@0: conscious thought from Sakura. Her hands rested at the small of
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s back as the eccentric heiress’s fingers kept playing with
rlm@0: her hair. This felt perfect. Her entire body and soul ached for
rlm@0: Tomoyo. She could feel her heart going out to the dark haired woman,
rlm@0: begging for her warmth and love. And Tomoyo happily gave that with
rlm@0: all that she was. Tomoyo’s tongue slowly pushed between her lips
rlm@0: after a time, and Sakura graciously accepted, thrilled at the feeling
rlm@0: of Tomoyo’s tongue in her mouth. She kissed back with all of her
rlm@0: heart, her fingers clasping together as she pulled Tomoyo tighter.
rlm@0: For the first time since she had come to Hong Kong, and possibly for
rlm@0: the first time in her life, she felt complete. It was like a circuit
rlm@0: was completed within her, love pouring through her entire body. It
rlm@0: was different from the kisses she got from Syaoran. This was gentler,
rlm@0: sweetly exploring all that there was to offer. Tomoyo kissed slowly
rlm@0: but passionately, giving of herself completely to Sakura. His were a
rlm@0: little more forceful, more to the point. Forgetting all about that as
rlm@0: the kiss grew more passionate, she held on tightly to her best
rlm@0: friend. The feelings rushing through her felt stronger than any magic
rlm@0: she had ever experienced. Tomoyo didn’t need magic to touch her soul.
rlm@0: Her kiss was magical enough. 
rlm@0: When the kiss finally ended, the two woman held very close in the
rlm@0: cool night air. Peaceful silence surrounded them, the only sound that
rlm@0: of the flowing water. ‘The love in your heart has to flow, just like
rlm@0: water,’ Tomoyo thought to herself as she held onto Sakura, her head
rlm@0: resting on the brunette’s shoulder. Her hands went gently up and down
rlm@0: Sakura’s back as Sakura lightly toyed with her hair. The two stayed
rlm@0: that way for a long while, Sakura finally falling asleep in Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: arms.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Watching from the deck where she had concealed herself, Ieran
rlm@0: watched the entire scene unfold. Yes, she had been right after all.
rlm@0: This would require quite a bit of thought. Turning from her daughter-
rlm@0: in-law and her friend, Ieran faded into the night.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	
rlm@0: 	
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: