view old/stories/nervousdepression.txt @ 4:69f0191c9016 moonlitnights tip

added error.log and access.log
author Robert McIntyre <rlm@mit.edu>
date Tue, 22 Jun 2010 13:42:35 -0400
parents fc00894c1d4a
children
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1 Hello, everyone! ^-^ I’d like to dedicate this story to Reisz
2 Fenrir, without whom I would never have written this story. ^-^
3 Remember to never stop dreaming. ^-^ This story has two girls in love
4 and some adult situations, so please read responsibly. CCS and its
5 beautiful characters were created by CLAMP.
7 I Love You, I love You Not
8 by Amazoness Duo
9 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
12 “Everything will always be all right,” Tomoyo whispered, imagining
13 Sakura’s voice giving life to the dead words. But even that couldn’t
14 bring back the magic to them. Like a magician’s chant, it only worked
15 for those with the power. What power? That fiery determination that
16 burned in beautiful emerald green eyes within the girl known as
17 Sakura. Tomoyo had tried to make Sakura believe in them, to put forth
18 her determination into making those words a reality. But for Tomoyo,
19 the words were meaningless, hollow. They carried with them no magic,
20 no sparkle. They were simply what they were. A messy collection of
21 words. They alone had no magic power, no abilities. It was Sakura
22 that unlocked their magic. Because the magic was within her, not
23 within any saying. And so they hung in the air painfully, sounding
24 brittle in the cold air.
25 Hugging her dark blue jacket closer, Tomoyo continued walking along
26 the nearly frosty sidewalk. Her long dark hair trailed behind her
27 like a shadow. Her pale skin glistened like the falling snow, making
28 her look like a snow angel that had been brought magically to life to
29 all who crossed her path. She wore long, thick black stockings and
30 large boots. Her dark skirt shifting as she continued walking, lost
31 in her own thoughts. Despite her warm apparel, she felt frigid
32 inside, as if an arctic wind had blown bitingly across her soul.
33 Shuddering, the dark haired girl hugged herself tightly. It offered
34 little warmth. She had the sudden thought that Sakura’s arms would
35 warm her instantly, much stronger than her own self-embrace. She
36 tried not to let the thought linger, knowing it would only be
37 painful. Thinking like that was selfish. Sakura’s happiness was the
38 important thing. Much more important than her own happiness. Sakura
39 was her best friend. She should be happy with that. Thinking of
40 Sakura in such ways was painful, taunting. Sakura didn’t belong with
41 her, but with another. Someone else, probably Syaoran, would be the
42 one to make Sakura happy. That thought was so much easier to deal
43 with as a child. Back then it had seemed so much easier. Sakura would
44 fall in love with someone and she would be happy to watch after her
45 beautiful Sakura. But as she grew older, her feelings grew as well.
46 Her love for Sakura only became stronger as the years went by. And
47 the thought of watching Sakura with another cut into her like a
48 jagged icicle.
49 Telling Sakura of her feelings would only be selfish. Tomoyo knew
50 Sakura better than anyone. Sakura could never bear to hurt her. She
51 would never be able to simply reject her. It would only confuse
52 Sakura, hurting the one Tomoyo loved more than life itself. And
53 hurting Sakura was the last thing the young heiress wanted. Better
54 she suffer than Sakura. Yes, that was right. She could handle it. For
55 Sakura. But sometimes the love in her heart wanted so badly to get
56 out, to touch Sakura’s heart. She wanted to feel loved, to feel the
57 love in her heart returned. But it was an empty dream. One she had
58 given up on as a child, as a sacrifice so that her beloved Sakura
59 would find her own happiness.
60 Sometimes it just felt too lonely. Knowing she would have to give
61 up Sakura was the most painful thought imaginable for the dark haired
62 girl. She had seen what losing one’s love had done to her mother.
63 Sometimes she wondered if she could survive it. Her mother was so
64 much stronger than she was and it had crushed her. Sonomi still
65 hadn’t recovered, and she probably never would. Tomoyo knew that she
66 had to. For Sakura’s sake. But sometimes that was all that kept her
67 going. As her heart inside wept, she smiled serenely at the brunette,
68 never letting her know the pain that was growing inside of her. She
69 knew what was awaiting her. Forever alone. She would have her love
70 for Sakura, but no Sakura. And sometimes that just didn’t feel like
71 it was enough. She knew she would never give up that love, but it was
72 so deliciously painful that it nearly consumed her. She was starting
73 to worry that cracks might begin to show through her masks. She could
74 only smile so much. It was beginning to hurt now, smiling for Sakura
75 when she just wanted so badly to cry. But she couldn’t let Sakura see
76 her pain. Sakura had to be happy. Sakura needed to smile. Sakura
77 needed to fall in love. She couldn’t be held back by her best friend.
78 Tomoyo had been crying herself to sleep more often lately. She
79 tried to be quiet, so as not to let her mother hear. She didn’t want
80 her mother to worry about her. She was always so busy with work as it
81 was. So she would cry quietly at night, watching her videos of Sakura
82 through a haze of tears. And during the day, she was all smiles. It
83 was what everyone expected of her, so no one questioned that the
84 smile was anything but real. She was eccentric. Everyone thought so,
85 even Sakura. So no one noticed that her smile never disappeared.
86 Until she was alone. Then it would leave her, replaced by the
87 emptiness that spread throughout her. It was cold and desolate, a
88 taste of the life that awaited her. The few times that she had tried
89 to envision her future, she had quit soon after. There was nothing in
90 her future. She could take over her mother’s business. She could grow
91 old, alone, always loving Sakura from a distance. That was all that
92 awaited her. Much better to imagine Sakura’s future, to hope for the
93 very best for her dearest Cardmistress. That was what had kept her
94 going over the past few years, the thoughts of Sakura’s beautiful
95 wedding, her many children, and her bright smile. That was the future
96 she was working for, not her own. She always had to keep that
97 beautiful vision in her mind. She loved Sakura with all her heart.
98 She would do anything for the athletic brunette, even if she would
99 never know of the feelings Tomoyo had for her.
100 Stormy blue eyes blinked rapidly as tears threatened to spill from
101 them. Tomoyo wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. She
102 would have plenty of time for tears later. She just had to hold on a
103 little longer for Sakura. Once Syaoran got back from Hong Kong,
104 Sakura wouldn’t need her anymore. Syaoran would be able to help
105 Sakura through all of life’s intricacies. But for now, Sakura still
106 needed her. That was a bitter relief. It would be over all too soon,
107 but at least there was still a place for her in the brunette’s life.
108 With what precious little time she had left, she would do all she
109 could for Sakura, to ensure her gloriously beautiful future. It was
110 the least she could do for the girl who had so easily stolen her
111 heart.
112 A faint smile crossed Tomoyo’s lips as she watched two young girls
113 run past. Her mind busied itself with other things, trying not to
114 dwell on the pain. Cupping her hands, she caught a gently falling
115 snowflake in her palms. The beautiful crystal lingered for a brief
116 moment before it began to melt and fade away. It reminded her of
117 something her mother had told her long ago. ‘The most beautiful
118 things in this life are gone before we know it, Tomoyo-chan. We have
119 to cherish them while we can.’ Her mother had been talking about
120 Nadeshiko then. As she often did. Tomoyo’s smile brightened slightly.
121 ‘Mother still loves Nadeshiko-san even after all this time. I’ll
122 always love Sakura-chan. I’ll always cherish her,’ she thought to
123 herself.
124 And the snowflake was gone. Tomoyo silently thanked it for it’s
125 swift moment of beauty before gingerly closing her hands. Her mind
126 was already planning out a snowflake costume for Sakura, one just as
127 pretty as any snowflake out in the skies. Her heart still hung heavy
128 in her chest, but her thoughts helped her to focus elsewhere, to
129 things she had always enjoyed. And these invariably led back to
130 Sakura. Who led back to her lonely thoughts. It was a vicious cycle,
131 but one she found herself caught in.
132 A thought struck the pale girl as more snowflakes fell around her.
133 Pulling her camcorder out of its carrying case, she began to
134 videotape the slow descent of the glittering snowflakes. The footage
135 would help when she finally started on Sakura’s new costume. Sakura
136 would look gorgeous in it, like a Snow Princess who had fallen from
137 her home in the sky above. Tomoyo sighed dreamily at the thought, a
138 hand going to her cheek, playing the lovely image of Sakura over and
139 over in her head even as she videotaped the falling snow. Her hand
140 felt cold against her warm cheek, sending a chill through her.
141 Shuddering visibly, she went back to her camera work. Each lonely,
142 frozen teardrop from heaven slowly made its way to the earth around
143 the pale girl, all alone despite the people passing by.
144 “Tomoyo-chan!” a voice called from across the street.
145 Pulling her camcorder down for a moment, Tomoyo quickly spotted the
146 source of the voice. A bright smile lit up her face, her earlier
147 thoughts quickly forgotten as Sakura waved to her. Her heart
148 brightened at the sight. Sakura made her happy. The brunette lit up
149 her heart. She waved back warmly. “I love you, Sakura-chan,” she said
150 quietly. Yes, this was exactly why she would never be able to shake
151 Sakura’s spell. Even if it was painful at times, she could never give
152 it up. Her heartbeat quickened as she saw Sakura smile at her. She
153 was so absolutely perfect. A dreamy sigh escaped Tomoyo. There was
154 nothing more painful than love. But there was also nothing more
155 beautiful. Taking a quick glimpse in either direction, Tomoyo hurried
156 to be with her beloved.
157 No one saw the car. It closed on the small girl like a terrible
158 beast stalking its prey, a dragon snatching away a princess. It was
159 all a blur for Sakura. One moment, Tomoyo was hurrying to her side,
160 smiling sweetly. The next, Tomoyo was nowhere to be seen, a car
161 screeching to a halt where the heiress had been moments before. There
162 was a sickening thump and then silence. Tomoyo’s cracked camcorder
163 lay at Sakura’s feet, staring up into the sky like a curious eye.
164 With shaky fingers, Sakura reached down and picked up the broken
165 camcorder. This was wrong. Tomoyo was supposed to be holding it.
166 Still in shock, Sakura looked up from the item, glancing around for
167 her best friend. The woman who had gotten out of her car was
168 frightened about something. Sakura followed her towards something
169 crumpled in the snow. It was deathly pale, almost the same color as
170 the snow itself. But there was something else in the snow, sparkling
171 and red. Blood. Sakura collapsed in the snow next to the crumpled
172 figure, her heart beating furiously in her chest. Her cold fingers
173 clutched the camcorder like a lifeline, her emerald eyes watching the
174 tiny shape unmoving in the snow. “Tomoyo-chan..? Tomoyo-chan? Tomoyo-
175 chan!?!” Sakura burst out into tears, huddling over her broken
176 friend. Tomoyo didn’t reply, only lying there like a shattered China
177 doll in the street. “Tomoyo-chan!!” Sakura cried, trying to hold onto
178 her battered friend. Her bitter tears fell onto Tomoyo’s pale skin,
179 Sakura’s body shaking painfully as she was wracked with sobs.
180 “I... I didn’t see her there,” the driver said quickly, as if it
181 would somehow magically fix the shattered girl.
182 Sakura didn’t hear anything. She held Tomoyo’s hand, crying
183 anguished tears. She didn’t even notice the blood beginning to stain
184 her own dress as she held onto her broken friend. “Tomoyo-chan,
185 please wake up. It’s okay. It’ll be okay. Just please wake up.
186 Please? Please, Tomoyo-chan?” Her only answer was the wail of sirens
187 in the distance. “Please..?”
189 Standing in front of the large, imposing gate, Sakura felt her
190 heart falter in her chest. She took a heavy breath, blinking away the
191 tears that threatened. The image of the accident was still vivid in
192 her mind, even though it had been more than a week before. Whenever
193 she was in the shower, she could still see the blood on her hands,
194 even though there wasn’t anything there. She shuddered at the
195 thought. She still felt exhausted from that day, her soul feeling
196 drained from it all. She had never cried so much, not even when her
197 mother had died back when she was a small child. The thought of being
198 without Tomoyo, of losing her very best friend, was just too much for
199 her. She couldn’t think of life without the dark haired girl.
200 Sakura managed a weak smile when she saw Sonomi herself coming out
201 to fetch her. Tomoyo’s mother was eccentric, much like her daughter.
202 The older woman always made Sakura feel special. She was always so
203 warm and affectionate to Sakura, treating her like a visiting
204 princess. She knew that part of the reason was because their mothers
205 had been close when they were younger, but didn’t know exactly what
206 had happened. Whatever the case, she always felt nice around Sonomi.
207 And with Tomoyo’s normal loving care, Sakura felt very happy at the
208 Daidouji home.
209 Her smile faded as Sonomi drew closer. Did Tomoyo’s mother blame
210 her? Did she think it was her fault that Tomoyo had been hurt? That
211 thought frightened her. What if Sonomi hated her now? Could she blame
212 her? If Tomoyo hadn’t been coming to see her, then... More tears
213 glistened in Sakura’s eyes. She rubbed the away insistently. She felt
214 like a little girl again, hoping that Tomoyo’s mother wasn’t mad at
215 her. She never knew her own mother. Sonomi was like the one she never
216 had. She felt like she had disappointed the older woman, failing to
217 protect her daughter.
218 Sonomi sighed with relief as she opened the gate, ushering Sakura
219 in. “I’m so glad you’re here, Sakura-chan.” Hugging the younger girl
220 tightly, Sonomi smiled before leading Sakura further inside.
221 A sigh escaped Sakura. At least Sonomi wasn’t mad at her. That was
222 something. She felt a little better at that. But the pit in her
223 stomach still remained. She still felt awful, the blur of the
224 accident burnt into her soul. She shuddered as a maid took her coat.
225 “How’s Tomoyo-chan?” Sakura asked quickly, turning her earnest eyes
226 to Sonomi. She could feel her anxious heart fluttering in her chest
227 like a caged bird.
228 Shaking her head, Sonomi gazed towards the stairs. “She hasn’t been
229 doing well, Sakura-chan. She doesn’t want to come out of her room
230 anymore. She barely eats anything unless I’m there. And even then I
231 know she’s only doing it so I won’t worry. Her eyes don’t sparkle
232 like they used to. She’s broken, Sakura-chan. Not just her body, but
233 her soul. And I don’t know how to help her. Maybe you can cheer her
234 up. Tomoyo-chan always loves to see you. You mean the world to her.
235 I’m so glad you could come on such short notice.” The weary mother
236 looked back to her daughter’s friend and smiled. “I’m sure she’ll get
237 better now that you’re here.”
238 Sakura sweatdropped, placing a hand behind her head. “I’m not sure
239 what I can do.” She looked back into Sonomi’s stormy blue eyes and
240 nodded determinedly. “But I’ll do whatever I can to help Tomoyo-chan.
241 She’s my best friend. I want her to feel better.”
242 Sonomi grinned, watching Sakura for a long moment. “You’re so sweet.
243 Just like your mother. I know you’ll be able to help Tomoyo-chan.”
244 Sakura was her last hope. She didn’t know how else to bring the life
245 back to her beloved daughter. Tomoyo had survived, but the life had
246 disappeared from her. Sakura was the only one that could re-ignite
247 the sparkle within her. Sonomi would do anything for her daughter,
248 but there was only so much she could do. The rest was up to Sakura.
249 Sakura bowed to the older woman before hurrying up the stairs. She
250 had to make it up to Tomoyo. It was her fault Tomoyo had gotten hurt
251 in the first place. All because Tomoyo had been coming to see her.
252 There had to be something she could do to help the heiress, to make
253 things better. It wasn’t right for Tomoyo to be so hurt. She had to
254 do something.
255 Sonomi watched as Sakura slowly disappeared up the stairs. Making
256 her way into the living room, the older woman collapsed into a chair,
257 closing her eyes. This whole incident had left her feeling weak and
258 helpless. She had always been overprotective of her lovely daughter,
259 but it had all been for nothing. In an eye blink, she had almost lost
260 her dearest treasure. In some ways, Tomoyo was too much like
261 Nadeshiko. It was part of why Sonomi was so worried about her.
262 Nadeshiko had always wound up getting hurt. And she had died a young
263 death. Sonomi didn’t want the same thing to happen to her daughter.
264 She had already lost Nadeshiko. She couldn’t stand to lose Tomoyo.
265 Waiting there at the hospital while Tomoyo was in surgery, the
266 auburn haired businesswoman would have given away her entire company
267 if she could know that her daughter would be all right. She had
268 stayed by Tomoyo’s side through the next few days, even though Tomoyo
269 hadn’t been conscious for much of it. Somehow she had pulled through.
270 Sonomi could only believe that it was because Nadeshiko had been
271 looking out for her daughter. As soon as Tomoyo had recovered enough
272 to be moved, she had taken her daughter back home and hired a nurse
273 to keep an eye on her. The doctors had suggested keeping Tomoyo in
274 the hospital, but Sonomi didn’t trust hospitals. Nadeshiko had been
275 there for her final days and they hadn’t been able to save her. She
276 didn’t want to leave Tomoyo there either. She had hoped Tomoyo would
277 feel more comfortable at home.
278 But now Tomoyo was still empty, her body mending while her heart
279 remained splintered. Now Sonomi had to hope that Nadeshiko daughter
280 would fix her own daughter’s soul. “Get better soon, Tomoyo-chan,”
281 Sonomi whispered.
283 It was snowing outside again. Tomoyo watched out her window as white
284 snowflakes drifted past. Her room was silent, the only noise coming
285 from the restless wind outside. She was still bedridden from her
286 injuries. She couldn’t even get up to put on one of her Sakura
287 videos. Not that she was in the mood to. It would only remind her of
288 her darling Sakura, of the lonely love in her heart. So she simply
289 watched out her window. There would be no snowflake costume, after
290 all. It had seemed like such a pretty idea, too. But like most
291 beautiful things, it lasted for but an instant.
292 Except Sakura. Sakura was timeless. No matter what happened, she
293 would always be beautiful. Tomoyo had little captured moments of
294 Sakura’s life frozen forever on videotape, always a testament to the
295 beauty that was Sakura, as if it all existed simply to state that
296 Sakura had been there, that she wasn’t just a dream.
297 Part of her wondered why she hadn’t died. Wouldn’t it have been
298 easier that way? Then she could watch over Sakura as her guardian
299 angel. She wouldn’t have to slip away when Sakura fell in love. She
300 wouldn’t have to watch from afar. She could be right there, right
301 along with Sakura, could stay close to her forever. She found herself
302 disappointed that that wasn’t the case. Instead she was still here.
303 And sooner or later, Sakura would be gone, off with the one she
304 loved. And Tomoyo wouldn’t be a part of her life anymore. Instead of
305 watching all of Sakura’s life as her angel, she would simply have to
306 hope for the best, trusting that it would all work out. It didn’t
307 seem fair. She had lost even her last hope. She wouldn’t even be able
308 to watch Sakura’s beautiful future as her guardian angel.
309 Dying in Sakura’s arms, it had almost been blissful. It was terrible
310 to see Sakura so sad, but Tomoyo had wanted her to know that she
311 would always watch over her, that everything truly would always be
312 all right. Everyone has to die. So if she couldn’t be with the one
313 she loved, why couldn’t she at least die in the arms of the one she
314 loved? Then they could be together forever, even if Sakura forgot
315 about her. Because Tomoyo would never leave her side again. But
316 someone had kept her from dying. Someone with long, liquid silver
317 hair and the same emerald green eyes as her Sakura. She could only
318 vaguely remember the woman now, as if it were all little more than a
319 dream. ‘You can’t go yet,’ she had said. ‘Sonomi-chan needs you. And
320 so does my little Sakura-chan. She’d be lost without you.’ She seemed
321 so kind, so loving. But Tomoyo still didn’t understand. Sakura was a
322 big girl. She didn’t need her anymore. Especially when she fell in
323 love, which was only a matter of time now. Syaoran would be returning
324 soon. He would take Tomoyo’s place at Sakura’s side. Tomoyo couldn’t
325 help but feel that the angel had been wrong, that she should have
326 died then, broken in Sakura’s arms. Better to have died then than
327 years later when she was all alone. At least she could have died
328 happily.
329 A knock on the door pulled Tomoyo from her thoughts. She slowly
330 looked to the door, trying to focus on it. “Hello?” she asked
331 curiously, her soft musical voice even quieter than usual. The door
332 slowly opened, exposing a nervous looking brunette. Tomoyo brightened
333 visibly, smiling at the welcome visitor. She really didn’t see anyone
334 besides her mother and the maids. It was so nice to see Sakura again.
335 “Sakura-chan, please come in. I’m so happy to see you.” The pale girl
336 struggled to sit up, her body aching as she did.
337 “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura held back a gasp. She watched Tomoyo for a
338 long moment, guilt eating at her with each passing second. Tomoyo was
339 lying in bed in a pink nightgown. She had bandages all down both of
340 her legs, disappearing up under her nightgown. She had a cast on one
341 arm. Bandages wrapped around the back of her head. Another square
342 cloth of bandage was taped over her right eye. She had always known
343 that Tomoyo was fragile, but seeing Tomoyo like this struck the point
344 home. But even then, a beautiful smile lay across Tomoyo’s lips as
345 she entered. Sakura managed to return the smile herself after a
346 pause, closing the door behind her. “Are you okay? How do you feel?”
347 The brunette hurried to her friend’s side, looking down at her from
348 the side of the bed.
349 “I’m all right, Sakura-chan. It still hurts a little bit. But I’m
350 feeling a lot better.” Which was remotely true. She still hurt a lot
351 and she was only feeling a little better. And she was only feeling
352 better because Sakura was there. But it was best not to worry Sakura.
353 It wouldn’t do to have Sakura crying for her. That would just make
354 her want to cry as well. If Sakura was happy, she felt much better
355 about life in general. “I’m just glad to see you,” she said softly,
356 looking at Sakura with the one uncovered stormy blue orb. She felt
357 her heart skip a beat as Sakura took her free hand in both of her
358 own. She squeezed softly to reassure her friend, smiling gently up at
359 her. Sakura seemed deep in thought about something. Tomoyo tilted her
360 head to the side quizzically, but stopped that when an icy pain shot
361 down her back. She simply watched, deciding it was best not to
362 disturb Sakura while she was busy with her thoughts.
363 A slow smile crossed Sakura’s lips, a determined look glowing in her
364 eyes. It all managed to set Tomoyo’s heart a flutter, though Sakura
365 didn’t know it. All she knew was that Tomoyo held onto her hands more
366 warmly, watched her even more intently. But none of that seemed
367 important. She knew what she was going to do. “I’ve got it! Tomoyo-
368 chan, I’m going to make up for this, I promise!” Sakura smiled
369 happily, squeezing Tomoyo’s soft hand with both of her own. “I’m
370 going to make you feel better. I finally know how.”
371 Tomoyo blinked in surprise. What was Sakura thinking? If she wasn’t
372 so lost in Sakura’s greatness, she might be able to piece it
373 together. Okay, Sakura was excited and determined. She wanted to make
374 Tomoyo feel better. Hmm... So she had some idea on what she wanted to
375 do. Something that she thought would make things better. Probably
376 something to do with the Cards. The pieces slowly fell into place as
377 Tomoyo kept watching Sakura. She found it ironic that Sakura was
378 trying so hard to fix things for her when all she wanted was to be
379 there with Sakura. That alone was enough for her. Sakura didn’t have
380 to do anything. She just had to be there. That was more than enough.
381 But it was so sweet of Sakura to want to help her. “But Sakura-chan,
382 you really don’t need to do anything. I’ll be fine,” Tomoyo promised.
383 Sakura shook her head, dismissing the silly idea that she didn’t
384 have to. She still felt like it had been her fault that Tomoyo had
385 been hurt in the first place. And even if that wasn’t the case,
386 Tomoyo was her best friend. She couldn’t simply sit by while Tomoyo
387 was hurting. And Sonomi had seemed so worried. So she had to fix
388 things. Giving Tomoyo’s hand a last squeeze, she rested it back on
389 Tomoyo’s stomach. Invoking her staff, Sakura took a step back. “I’m
390 the world’s most powerful mage now, right?”
391 Tomoyo nodded, smiling. “Hai, no one’s stronger than Sakura-chan!
392 You can do anything if you put your heart to it!”
393 Normally one to be embarrassed by Tomoyo’s statements, Sakura was
394 too excited to be embarrassed at the moment. “And right now, there’s
395 nothing more my heart wants to do than to make you feel better. So
396 I’m going to use all my magic for that. To make you happy.”
397 “To make.. me happy?” Tomoyo repeated. Her heart spun at the
398 thought. Those words were so beautiful. Even if Sakura was attempting
399 to make her happy through magic, it was simply that she wanted to
400 make her happy. Tomoyo felt her heart soar. “Arigato, Sakura-chan.
401 But you do make me happy. You always make me happy.”
402 This time, Sakura did blush faintly, but she was glad to hear
403 Tomoyo’s words nonetheless. “But I want to do something special for
404 you. To make you feel better about all this. I want to help. So I’ll
405 use all my magic to grant your one strongest wish for one week. I
406 don’t know if I could keep it up any longer than that anyway. But I
407 know that I can make your wish come true for a little while at
408 least.” Magic was a tricky thing, and though Sakura had grown rather
409 proficient with the Sakura Cards, she was still having trouble
410 getting used to being the strongest magician alive. But that wouldn’t
411 stop her from making Tomoyo’s dream come true. She had to try.
412 Tomoyo blinked, slowly shaking her head. “Ano... I don’t think
413 that’s such a good idea, Sakura-chan,” she warned, sweatdropping. She
414 could see where this was going and she was already worried. Sakura
415 was the strongest mage on the planet. She could only imagine what
416 this would do. Sakura didn’t know that she was what Tomoyo wanted
417 most of all. It didn’t seem like a good idea to rush into this
418 without knowing how it would work. Sakura still didn’t even know
419 about Tomoyo’s love for her. She had a bad feeling about this.
420 “Please don’t worry, Tomoyo-chan. You always help me so much. I want
421 to help you this time.” Sakura smiled brightly at her bedridden
422 friend, pulling up her staff as she summoned her magic. “What’s the
423 one thing you wish for more than anything else, Tomoyo-chan?”
424 “For Sakura-chan to be happy,” Tomoyo responded simply.
425 “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura shook her head. That couldn’t be it. But she
426 should have known Tomoyo would say something like that. Oh well.
427 She’d just have to grant Tomoyo’s one wish even if Tomoyo wouldn’t
428 tell her exactly what it was. So she would use all the Cards and all
429 of her power. Surely that could handle her wish for one week. “Sakura
430 Cards! Please hear me! Make Tomoyo-chan’s most heartfelt wish come
431 true for this next week!” The pink Cards swirled around Sakura like a
432 cyclone, magic lighting the dark room with burning intensity. All of
433 the Cards lent their magic to Sakura’s command, each adding to the
434 final spell.
435 And with a last flash of light, it was over. The Sakura Book
436 clattered to the floor, the Cards tumbling down to Sakura’s feet.
437 Sakura herself nearly stumbled at first, her magic drained from the
438 spell and the use of all the Cards at once. She shook her head,
439 trying to clear her thoughts. She felt... strange. What had just
440 happened? She felt so dizzy. The brunette quickly took a seat on the
441 edge of Tomoyo’s bed, trying to get her bearings. She’d been working
442 some kind of magic spell... But what had happened? She glanced around
443 the room, but she couldn’t tell any noticeable difference. Something
444 soft rested on her hand, drawing her attention back to the bed.
445 Tomoyo held her hand, looking up at her concernedly. Nope, Tomoyo
446 wasn’t any different. She was still just as pretty as always. Even if
447 she was injured. Sakura smiled brightly at her friend. For some
448 reason, she just felt... happy. Everything seemed perfect. Her
449 emerald eyes sparkled as she looked deeply into Tomoyo’s stormy blue
450 orb. Tomoyo always did have such lovely eyes. Even if she could only
451 see one of them. And Tomoyo was always so sweet and gentle and
452 loving. And she always made Sakura feel so wonderful. And she was
453 always there to help her when she needed her. And she always said
454 such sweet thing to her, even if it was embarrassing sometimes.
455 And... “Hanyaan...” Sakura said at last, sighing happily.
456 Tomoyo could only watch for a moment, trying to work out just what
457 had happened herself. There didn’t seem to be any noticeable
458 difference except for Sakura herself. She was just staring into her
459 eyes with a dreamy look and a faint blush on her cheeks. Tomoyo’s
460 eyes went wide in sudden realization. “Sakura-chan...” It suddenly
461 made sense. The wish... Tomoyo had been so lonely lately. She loved
462 Sakura so much. Did this mean...
463 Things were slowly beginning to make sense for Sakura as well. Bits
464 and pieces of a puzzle that she hadn’t even known was there began to
465 fit together. It all made a whole picture that she had missed for so
466 long. Sakura leaned closer, holding tightly onto Tomoyo’s hand as it
467 became crystal clear. “Tomoyo-chan... I understand now! You said
468 you’d explain when I was older, but I never understood. All this
469 time, you’ve been trying to tell me, but I never knew.” A faint blush
470 colored Sakura’s cheeks as her heart lifted up. Swooping forward,
471 Sakura hugged her best friend tightly, almost forgetting that she was
472 still hurt. “I love you, too!” Sakura giggled happily, relishing the
473 newfound freedom her realization gave her. It was true. She knew
474 that. And it made sense as she played it over in her mind. Tomoyo had
475 loved her all this time, and she had never known. But she had loved
476 Tomoyo as well, only she hadn’t understood her feelings. But now they
477 were open to her. She felt excited and tranquil and loved all at the
478 same time. She felt Tomoyo’s good arm rubbing up and down her back
479 peacefully. Making a small happy sound, Sakura hugged Tomoyo closer.
480 How could she have missed it for so long? But it didn’t matter. She
481 knew now. That was the important thing.
482 Tomoyo quickly tried to figure out the situation as she found
483 herself in Sakura’s arms. Was Sakura in love with her for the next
484 week? She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. What an exquisite form
485 of torture. To have Sakura’s love, albeit magically induced, for one
486 week. And then she would have to give it up again. But she had to
487 admit, it felt so wonderful in Sakura’s arms, to hear those words,
488 even if they were only caused by magic. She sighed softly, resting
489 her head against Sakura’s shoulder. It felt magical, so soft and
490 relaxing. Sakura smelled wonderful. But everything about Sakura was
491 wonderful. She nestled into the crook of Sakura’s neck, her soul lost
492 in Sakura. “I love you, Sakura-chan.” This would be one tough week.
495 “Is it done yet?” Kero asked impatiently, his face hovering near
496 the oven. “I’m so hungry,” he pouted, trying to emphasize his point.
497 “It’s not for you anyway,” Sakura said absently, checking over the
498 directions once more. She wasn’t the best cook in the world and she
499 knew it, which is why she was trying so hard to follow the directions
500 precisely. Because although she wasn’t a wonderful cook, Sonomi was,
501 and the older woman had given her the recipe. And on top of that, she
502 wanted it to be perfect. And Sonomi has said that Tomoyo hadn’t been
503 eating much lately, so Sakura had decided to bake something for her.
504 With Tomoyo stuck in bed, it seemed like the perfect time to bring
505 her a treat. Tomoyo always brought over such tasty things, obviously
506 inheriting her mother’s cooking abilities. Sakura paused for a
507 moment, wondering whether or not her own mother had been good at
508 cooking. Probably not, she decided. Why would she need to be when
509 Sonomi made such great things?
510 “But I’m HUNGRY,” Kero reiterated, working up some tears for good
511 measure. “And it smells so good. Just like one of Tomoyo’s mom’s
512 cakes.” He grinned hungrily, delving back into memories of the
513 different treats he had tried over the years. But that just made him
514 hungrier.
515 “You aren’t getting any of it. It’s for Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura said,
516 holding up a wooden spoon as if to ward Kero away from her precious
517 cake. Satisfied that she had followed the recipe exactly, Sakura
518 stepped away from the counter, wiping her hands off on her apron. “It
519 is one of Sonomi-sama’s cakes. She gave me the recipe yesterday when
520 I asked what Tomoyo might like to eat.” Smiling happily, she took a
521 quick glance at the timer and nodded to herself. So far so good. As
522 soon as she was finished, she could go take it to Tomoyo-chan. She
523 sighed, placing both hands on her cheeks. She felt so warm inside,
524 and it had nothing to do with spending so much time in the kitchen.
525 Finding out how Tomoyo felt about her had brightened every aspect of
526 her life. She was no longer so confused about her feelings and her
527 own heart. Before, she had listened to others about what her heart
528 wanted, unsure of what she wanted herself. But now it all made sense.
529 She just wanted to be with Tomoyo. More than anything. “Hanyaan...”
530 she whispered joyously.
531 Everything just made so much more sense now. She had always felt so
532 good around Tomoyo, but now she knew what it all meant. And the
533 thought that she’d been so close to the one she loved all this time
534 left her heart spinning. She wanted to be with the dark haired girl
535 all the time. She never wanted to leave her side. When she would lie
536 in bed at night, her last thoughts would be of Tomoyo before she
537 slipped into a peaceful sleep. Tomoyo was the first thing she thought
538 about when she got up, usually while hugging her pillow. It was a
539 poor substitute for her best friend, though. But she had to hug
540 something, to imagine Tomoyo was with her. And she certainly wasn’t
541 about to hug her mean older brother.
542 It was amazing how things had changed so quickly. But at the same
543 time, it didn’t feel like much had changed at all. Tomoyo was just as
544 warm and loving as she had always been, because she had always loved
545 her, which Sakura now realized. And Sakura’s feelings were still the
546 same. She just understood them now. Tomoyo always brought a blush to
547 her cheeks with some of what she would say. She always made her feel
548 good inside. She’d always been the most important person in Sakura’s
549 life. So in many ways, it just felt natural. As if things had finally
550 taken their proper course.
551 “How long do you plan on letting that thing burn?” Touya asked
552 curiously, his arms crossed. He watched his little sister blush
553 furiously and hurry to the oven, nearly dropping the cake as she
554 pulled it out.
555 Embarrassed, Sakura tried to salvage her slightly burnt cake. Just
556 how long had she been out of it? Things like this always happened
557 when she was distracted. But it was so easy to get lost in the
558 different thoughts and feelings that swept through her heart! At
559 least Tomoyo understood. And she thought it was cute when Sakura
560 would daydream like that. Shaking her head, Sakura fought back her
561 blush as she concentrated on the cake. Of course Tomoyo thought it
562 was cute. Tomoyo thought everything she did was cute. Her blush
563 darkened as she realized that line of thought wasn’t helping. She
564 just hoped Touya would leave the kitchen soon. Being embarrassed was
565 so much worse when people were around. “Hoe... Now it’s ruined.”
566 Stepping up to the cake dutifully, Kero took a nice long sniff. He
567 looked at it thoughtfully for a moment before shaking his head. “No,
568 it’s not ruined. It’s just a little burnt. Put some extra topping on
569 it and it’ll be fine. It won’t be as good as Tomoyo’s mama’s cakes,
570 but I still won’t mind having a nice big slice or two,” the Seal
571 Beast said hopefully.
572 Sakura pulled the cake away from Kero, shielding it with her body.
573 “You still can’t have any of it. I already told you I’d make you
574 something later.”
575 “Then who is it for?” Touya asked, raising an eyebrow.
576 Shaking her head quickly, Sakura sweatdropped. “No one,” she said
577 quickly, busying herself with lathering on a thick layer of icing on
578 top of the cake. She shot Kero a glare when she saw half of the
579 strawberries already eaten. Sighing, she started placing the
580 remaining ones on the cake.
581 “It’s for Yuki, isn’t it?” Touya asked, grinning. Though he’d been
582 dating Yukito for some time now, he still teased his younger sister
583 about him. Besides, he thought, it’s better she have a crush on him
584 than on the brat. It was easier for him to keep an eye on her that
585 way.
586 “No, it’s not for Yukito-san,” Sakura said, raising her head as she
587 continued to place the strawberries in a pattern across the cake. She
588 felt a happy trill resonate through her heart. She didn’t just have a
589 crush on somebody. This wasn’t some schoolgirl crush. It wasn’t her
590 going after someone she couldn’t have. She was making a cake for her
591 girlfriend. This was for her special someone. And she really, really
592 wanted to tell Touya that, to wipe that smirk off his face, to show
593 him that she was dating, too. She bit her lip before she could say
594 anything, trying to focus on the cake. “It’s for someone very, very
595 special,” she said, smiling. “It’s to show much I like them,” she
596 added, her cheeks warming.
597 “It’s not for the brat, is it? Is he back in town?” Touya asked,
598 trying to mask his concern.
599 “No, it’s not for Syaoran,” Sakura replied, putting the finishing
600 touches on her cake. “There,” she said proudly, taking a step back to
601 admire her handiwork. It wasn’t perfect, but it looked pretty. And
602 maybe Tomoyo wouldn’t taste the burnt part with all the icing she put
603 on it. She wanted to get it to Tomoyo as soon as possible. Then she
604 could try to get her to eat. But that was just her ulterior motive.
605 She just wanted to be with Tomoyo again. Giving her the cake was just
606 a happy plus.
607 “Sugoi!” Kero said excitedly, his beady eyes growing as he looked
608 at the cake. “It looks so good!” His paw went forward to touch the
609 icing, but before he could get a hold of it Sakura had pulled it away.
610 “Kero-chan, you can’t have any of Tomoyo-chan’s cake,” Sakura
611 scolded. She held the cake, ignoring the Seal Beast and his pleading
612 eyes. It took her a moment to realize two other sets of eyes were on
613 her as well. She turned slowly, noticing her brother and Yukito
614 staring at her. Yukito must have entered while they were talking. He
615 did spend a lot of time over with Touya. Her cheeks darkened quickly
616 as the sudden realization hit her. She hadn’t meant to say that. She
617 stared back down at the cake, blushing a deep scarlet.
618 “That’s great!” Yukito exclaimed. “Isn’t that cute, To-ya? I knew
619 you’d find someone special, Sakura-chan. It looks like To-ya had been
620 right all along. I’m still a little surprised. I didn’t know you
621 liked girls.” He tilted his head to the side, still smiling.
622 “Thank God,” Touya said in relief, his hands on his face. “I was so
623 sure you were going to marry the brat. Then I’d always be worrying
624 about you. I don’t have to worry about Tomoyo-chan. I know she’ll
625 actually take care of you.”
626 Blushing even deeper, Sakura began making her way to the door. It
627 would’ve been easier if they hadn’t said anything at all. But then,
628 she had accidentally blurted it out. She hadn’t quite expected Touya
629 to be so thrilled by the whole thing. But it’s better to have your
630 family like the one you love, she decided. Whatever the case, she
631 just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. “I’m gonna go
632 take Tomoyo-chan her cake,” she said quickly, heading for her roller
633 blades near the front door. She ignored the rest of their comments as
634 she slipped them on and hurried outside.
635 “I guess I won’t have to worry about her giving me a heart attack
636 after all,” Touya said thoughtfully. It wasn’t what he’d been
637 expecting, although he had known Tomoyo was in love with his sister.
638 And though Yukito thought Syaoran was good for Sakura, he didn’t. He
639 had always thought Tomoyo would make a much better significant other
640 for his overemotional younger sister. He looked at the other two in
641 the kitchen when he got no response. Both Kero and Yukito were
642 staring at him.
643 “I’m hungry,” Kero whined.
644 “That cake really did look good,” Yukito added, nodding his
645 agreement.
646 Touya sighed as the two continued to stare at him. Preheating the
647 oven, he wished Sakura had picked something less edible as a gift for
648 her sweetheart.
650 “Hi, Tomo...” Sakura cut herself off, a hand going to her mouth as
651 she watched Tomoyo’s sleeping form in bed. She quietly closed the
652 door behind her as she stepped into the room. One of the maids had
653 let her enter. She had been disappointed to find out that Sonomi was
654 still at work. She had hoped that she could thank her for the recipe.
655 But there would always be time for that later. She smiled as she
656 walked to the side of the bed, watching Tomoyo. The pale girl was
657 beautiful, even in her sleep. Long lavender hair lay spilt about her
658 pale frame. Bandages still adorned much of her injured body. The
659 large blankets were pulled up around her, either by a worried mother
660 or an attentive maid.
661 Setting the cake down on an empty spot on Tomoyo’s desk, Sakura sat
662 down. The desk was cluttered with all sorts of costume designs and
663 several sheets of music. But even then, it was organized chaos.
664 Everything was placed somewhere for a reason. Tomoyo always did have
665 a good eye for details. It looked like the objects on her desk hadn’t
666 been touched since the accident. Which made sense because the heiress
667 couldn’t even get to her desk at the moment.
668 Sitting at the desk, Sakura tried to lay out her options. She could
669 wake Tomoyo up, but the other girl probably needed her sleep. She
670 could always go home, but that thought was instantly rejected.
671 Leaving Tomoyo’s side wasn’t an option she wanted to consider. She
672 could always just wait for her to wake up. Deciding that was the best
673 course of action, the brunette looked back to the sleeping girl,
674 smiling. Tomoyo looked so peaceful now, lost in her own beautiful
675 dreams. Not at all like the scared, distant look her sleeping face
676 had held during her stay at the hospital. Shuddering, Sakura rubbed
677 her shoulders. Tomoyo was better now. That was the important thing.
678 Turning back to the desk, Sakura glanced through some of the sheets
679 of paper on top of it. Emerald eyes skimmed over some lyrics to a
680 song Tomoyo was practicing for choir. She probably wouldn’t have the
681 chance to sing it with the rest of the choir now, though. But maybe
682 she could still sing it sometime. Sakura always loved to listen to
683 Tomoyo singing. It was so entrancing to listen to her best friend’s
684 ethereal voice. She would be the pale girl’s audience. That thought
685 lifted her mood considerably. Tomoyo had such a gorgeous voice.
686 Setting the music sheet aside, Sakura began to look through
687 Tomoyo’s costume designs. It was strange looking at pictures of
688 herself in different costumes. Tomoyo really was a good artist. Each
689 picture looked just like herself, decked out in some imaginary outfit
690 that Tomoyo would bring into existence with her own form of magic.
691 Occasionally she would see Kero in the picture as well, with little
692 matching outfits to go along with Sakura’s. The brunette was
693 surprised that Tomoyo could make so many varied costumes. And even
694 though Sakura had caught the last of the Cards years ago, she still
695 found herself modeling the costumes for Tomoyo. Which always sent a
696 certain thrill through her, being Tomoyo’s very special model. She
697 couldn’t model the way her mother did. She was too embarrassed for
698 that. But if it was for Tomoyo, then it was okay. Because she felt
699 safe with Tomoyo. Because she knew that Tomoyo enjoyed it so much.
700 Because she liked being the center of Tomoyo’s attention.
701 ‘Kawaii!’ Sakura thought, pulling up one of the costume designs. It
702 looked like some sort of living rainbow, something belonging up near
703 the clouds. She would gladly wear it for the heiress when she
704 finished it, twirling about it in just as she always did. She could
705 already imagine Tomoyo’s voice praising her as she hurried to get
706 shots from different angles. Sweatdropping at the thought, Sakura
707 continued. The next one was of some kind of fairy. She saw herself in
708 a small, cute sleeveless dress, with tiny little shoes on and
709 beautiful butterfly wings. Two little antenna hung from a hair band.
710 Her ears were a little longer and pointed, giving her an elven
711 appearance. Now that she looked at it more closely, the antenna
712 weren’t part of the hair band after all. So maybe not all of Tomoyo’s
713 costume designs were based in reality. Glancing over to the dark
714 haired girl’s bed again, Sakura smiled at her. It was sweet to think
715 the other girl would draw her as a sprite.
716 Flipping to the next one, Sakura could see that it wasn’t quite
717 finished yet. Parts of the costume were missing. There was only one
718 thigh high stocking, with plenty of lace at the end. Her other leg
719 was bare. The skirt was short and looked like it was made of several
720 layers. Ribbons raced up from the skirt over her bare stomach,
721 leading up to a large bow at her neck. She had long, frilled gloves
722 leading up past her elbows. Beautiful ribbons hung from her hair.
723 There didn’t seem to be any blouse except for the ribbons, and they
724 didn’t even cover up anything. Sakura blushed at how... detailed it
725 was. It took her a moment to realize the costume wasn’t half-finished
726 at all. This was exactly how Tomoyo had planned the costume. She
727 certainly hadn’t ever worn anything like _that_ before. At first she
728 didn’t know what to think. It was a surprise to know that Tomoyo
729 thought about that. About her like that. It gave the thought of
730 modeling for Tomoyo a new twist. Sakura’s cheeks darkened
731 considerably. ‘Don’t think like that!’ she chided herself. ‘Tomoyo-
732 chan probably just... just...’ Her thoughts trailed off. Even if she
733 could be rather naïve about things, this was rather self-evident. It
734 really was flattering, in an embarrassing sort of way. And that
735 really wasn’t new at all, coming from Tomoyo. That helped Sakura get
736 some sort of grip on the situation.
737 What would it be like to actually wear that for Tomoyo? Somehow she
738 didn’t think it would be all that different from when she modeled
739 other costumes for Tomoyo. The heiress would want to take pictures
740 from every angle, sighing happily and telling Sakura how great she
741 was the whole time. It was what happened afterwards that would
742 probably be different. Blushing a cherry red, Sakura pushed the
743 thought aside. This was no time to be thinking about such things,
744 while poor Tomoyo was stuck in bed. Or maybe that was the perfect
745 time to be thinking about it. Sakura shook her head quickly. “Hoe...”
746 Besides, Tomoyo had been the one to draw it, so it wasn’t like she
747 was completely innocent there. Glancing back at the bed, Sakura
748 looked right into a silent, stormy blue orb. Bolting upright, Sakura
749 stumbled backwards, her ankle catching on the chair leg. Her arms
750 pinwheeled as she tried to maintain her balance, her heart beating
751 rapidly in shock. The paper fluttered out of her hand, landing slowly
752 on the floor between the two of them. Sakura barely managed to keep
753 her balance, grasping onto the chair. “Tomoyo-chan!” she said
754 quickly, her eyes wide. The other girl had been completely silent,
755 leaving Sakura completely unaware to her presence. “You’re awake!”
756 she stated obviously. Laughing nervously, she put a hand behind her
757 head. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
758 The dark haired girl bent down, wincing slightly as her injured body
759 moved. Reaching down, she picked up the piece of paper, being careful
760 not to crumple it. She still wanted to finish it one of those days.
761 Sitting back in bed with the paper, she simply smiled at the
762 Cardmistress. “I like watching Sakura-chan,” she said matter-of-
763 factly. “When I woke up, I saw that you were here. I was so happy to
764 see you. I just wanted to lie there and watch you for as long as I
765 could. You’re much better to watch in person than in any of my
766 videos. I can only capture your image and your sound. I can’t capture
767 that wonderfully genki spark that is Sakura-chan.”
768 “Arigato, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura said, blushing from the praise. She
769 cast her eyes down for a moment, standing in silence. Her eyes slowly
770 returned to the paper that Tomoyo had on her lap. “Ano...” she began
771 nervously. “What’s that costume for?”
772 “This one? I have a cat one that I’m working on, too. It’s from
773 the ‘Sekushi Sakura-chan Collection’ I’m working on,” Tomoyo replied
774 excitedly, as she always did when talking about her Sakura costumes.
775 “But why?” Sakura asked, sweatdropping.
776 Tomoyo smiled happily. “Because Sakura-chan’s getting older. So
777 someday she’s going to want to do more adult things. And when you do,
778 I want to have costumes ready for you to use. Costumes are for
779 special occasions. Catching Cards aren’t the only good occasions for
780 them,” the heiress explained, watching Sakura’s growing blush.
781 “That sounds like you’d need to take videotape, too,” Sakura
782 replied, her cheeks red.
783 “Lots of videotape,” Tomoyo agreed, nodding.
784 “Oh, I almost forgot!” Sakura turned, grabbing the cake. Whether she
785 was just changing the subject or if she’d honestly gotten caught up
786 in something else wasn’t certain. “I made this for you. It’s from
787 Sonomi-sama’s recipe.” She held out the cake for the dark haired girl
788 to see, walking closer to the bed. “I left it in the oven a little
789 too long, though. I hope it still tastes all right.” She sighed,
790 still a little disappointed that she had made that mistake. She had
791 so wanted it to come out perfectly for Tomoyo.
792 “It’s lovely, Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo stated happily, taking a long
793 look at the cake before looking up to the even more lovely cake
794 bearer. She smiled sweetly. “I’m sure it will be great. Even if it
795 isn’t perfect, I wouldn’t trade it for a cake made by the world’s
796 best pastry chef. Because it doesn’t matter if things are perfect.
797 What matters is that you made it. Even those little imperfections are
798 filled with your love and care. That’s what makes it so delicious.”
799 She could see that Sakura didn’t completely believe her yet, so she
800 continued. “It’s like when you made that yukata for Li-kun. You
801 didn’t know how to sew very well, but you tried your hardest anyway.
802 Even though it wasn’t perfect, it didn’t matter. Because you had gone
803 through all that trouble to make it. Everything we do, we leave a
804 piece of our hearts in. Everything we touch has a little bit of us.
805 So something that you put your heart into means the world to me.
806 Because it has little bits of Sakura-chan’s soul mixed in.”
807 Sakura thought this over for a moment before nodding. “Like your
808 costumes,” she said at last. Tomoyo had always put so much loving
809 care into her costumes, making each and every one for Sakura to wear.
810 But the costumes weren’t important alone. It was that Tomoyo had made
811 them specifically for her, that she had spent all that time on them,
812 just so she could wear them. That made Sakura feel a lot better about
813 the cake, even with the imperfections. It suddenly didn’t matter so
814 much that she had made the mistake. She smiled brightly as she set
815 the cake back down. “Let me go get some plates.”
817 The two girls sat together on Tomoyo’s bed, eating slices of
818 Sakura’s cake. They had decided to leave a slice for Sonomi to try
819 later, as a thank you for the recipe. To Sakura’s delight, it had
820 turned out pretty well, the frosting masking the slightly burnt
821 parts. She was glad to see Tomoyo eating. Sonomi had been very
822 worried about her daughter not eating, so Sakura was glad to do her
823 part to get something in Tomoyo’s stomach.
824 The pale girl took a small bite of Sakura’s beautiful cake, her eyes
825 never wandering far from the girl she loved. She let the sweet flavor
826 roll across her tongue. She hadn’t been very hungry lately, but she
827 couldn’t resist having a piece of Sakura’s cake, especially if Sakura
828 was right there with her. She sighed happily, taking a small bite of
829 one of the strawberries. The knowledge that it was made for her by
830 Sakura followed every delicious bite. Sakura scooted closer to her on
831 the bed, eating her own slice of cake. She could tell that Sakura was
832 watching her. It was like a beautiful dream to have Sakura’s eyes on
833 her. “It’s very good, Sakura-chan.”
834 Sakura smiled at Tomoyo’s comment. Finally seeing Tomoyo eating the
835 cake, hearing that she liked it, it made the whole process of making
836 it worthwhile. It had all led up to this point. Just like her life
837 had led up to this point, as if everything had built up to this
838 moment in time with Tomoyo. Sure, it had taken a few twists to get
839 there, but everything had worked out in the end. And she could have
840 her fairy tale ending. They both could. She took another bite of her
841 cake, feeling excited about the future, the possibilities, and most
842 importantly, the here and now.
843 ‘Please don’t look at me that way. Please don’t taunt me like this,
844 Sakura-chan. Because I don’t know if I could ever resist you. And
845 when this is all over, when that look fades from your eyes, the sun
846 will stop shining on my world,’ Tomoyo thought desperately. Sakura
847 was looking at her with such love and adoration in her eyes, an
848 unbridled passion that she had never seen before in those emerald
849 gems. It was exactly what she had always wished to see, a love as
850 deep and endless as her own. But now it was frightening. It would be
851 gone before she could ever fully taste their depths. It would be
852 taken from her in the blink of an eye.
853 Which left Tomoyo with a very difficult decision. How should she
854 take this? Sakura had given her the most precious gift she could
855 imagine, her warm and beautiful heart. But soon she would have to
856 give it back, to part from it. And that seemed unbearable. But she
857 would have to. She understood that. But in the meantime, Sakura loved
858 her. For now, she had the love she had always longed for. Could she
859 give in to it? Was it right to? Sakura’s love was only magic, a work
860 of Sakura’s Cards. Would she be taking advantage of Sakura if she
861 allowed herself to get closer to the Cardmistress while she had this
862 chance? Or should she just wait it out, not allowing anything to
863 happen in the next week for Sakura’s sake? It was a maddening
864 question. Her heart and mind were torn in completely different
865 directions. She didn’t want to give in to Sakura’s love only to have
866 it taken away. She didn’t want to use Sakura’s well intentioned wish
867 to fill her own lonely heart. It didn’t seem right to be in a
868 relationship with Sakura when it was all simply done by Sakura’s
869 magic. On the other hand, the brunette had given this gift to her,
870 wanting her to be happy. It would be a shame to not accept Sakura’s
871 gift. She had always known that one day Sakura would fall in love
872 with another. At least she could have a week full of memories of
873 their time together, memories of being loved by Sakura, right? And so
874 her heart continued its tug of war as she finished her slice of cake.
875 It had been delicious, but now it was all gone. Just like this would
876 be. She set the plate to the side, folding her hands on her lap.
877 Unaware of Tomoyo’s troubled thoughts, Sakura finished her own slice
878 of cake. She went back to watching Tomoyo, trying to decide what to
879 say. Her heart moved this way and that, swaying about. There were so
880 many feelings inside of her, all meshing and struggling to come
881 forth. She wanted to tell Tomoyo, to explain them all, to hold them
882 out to her, but she couldn’t find the words. After a moment of
883 hesitation, she leant forward swiftly, hugging the pale girl tightly.
884 Tomoyo seemed surprised by Sakura’s sudden move, but Sakura just
885 continued to hold onto her. “Tomoyo-chan!” She could feel Tomoyo’s
886 soft lavender hair brushing past her cheek, tickling her. “I love you
887 so much!” She closed her eyes tightly, blushing a bit as she held
888 onto the heiress. It was the best way she could think of to express
889 the feelings surging through her heart.
890 Tomoyo felt a thundering heartbeat against her breast, but she
891 couldn’t tell if it was Sakura’s heartbeat or her own. She could feel
892 Sakura’s arms holding her tightly, encircling her in their warmth.
893 This was where she had wanted to be for so long, in Sakura’s arms.
894 She closed her eyes, giving in, at least for the moment. It was too
895 much to fight off both her own love and Sakura’s, no matter how
896 magically induced the latter may be. Leaning into the brunette,
897 Tomoyo curled up against her beloved. Her head slid down against
898 Sakura’s chest, her hands resting against Sakura’s stomach. She
899 listened intently to the beat of the Cardmistress’s heart, her stormy
900 blue eyes closing. Her concerns faded away like a child’s bad dream
901 when in her mother’s arms. “Please don’t ever let me go,” Tomoyo
902 pleaded quietly.
903 Resting her chin on the top of Tomoyo’s head, Sakura sighed softly.
904 All the chaotic feelings in her heart were still there, but Tomoyo
905 soothed them, calming them, bringing them all together. She suddenly
906 wasn’t so worried about trying to describe them to Tomoyo. Tomoyo was
907 always so good about understanding her heart. She felt that she
908 didn’t need to say it all out loud. It was there. They could both
909 feel it. “I won’t,” Sakura promised, wishing with all her heart that
910 she could prove it, prove that she would hold onto her forever and
911 ever.
913 “It’s so beautiful,” Tomoyo whispered. It was snowing lightly,
914 small white crystals dancing their way through the air around her.
915 Some settled in her long, lavender hair, others dropping gingerly
916 onto her lap. She felt Sakura’s hands on her shoulders from behind
917 and turned to smile at the Cardmistress. Sakura had come over earlier
918 that day and Sonomi had suggested that Sakura take Tomoyo outside for
919 a bit. Tomoyo still couldn’t get very far on her own, so Sakura was
920 pushing her in a wheelchair. The heiress didn’t mind relying on
921 Sakura for her mobility. It meant she couldn’t be far from the girl
922 she loved. And that was perfectly fine by her.
923 Returning Tomoyo’s smile, Sakura watched the snowflakes falling
924 about her dark haired friend. ‘She’s so beautiful,’ Sakura thought to
925 herself, her fingers trailing through some lavender curls. She sighed
926 happily her arms wrapping around Tomoyo’s shoulders.
927 Tomoyo blushed faintly, her heartbeat quickening in her chest.
928 Having Sakura so close, holding her so lovingly, it was a dream come
929 true. Despite the snow surrounding them, the heiress felt warm
930 inside. Reaching up with her good hand, she rested it on one of
931 Sakura’s arms. She held onto it as if to keep Sakura from ever
932 releasing her hold on her. She felt so peaceful like this, alone with
933 Sakura. If only it could always be this was... She closed her eyes,
934 ceasing that thought. There was only now. There was only Sakura. She
935 rested back into the brunette’s loving embrace.
936 “Tomoyo-chan, when you get better, let’s go rollerblading together,
937 okay?” Sakura asked suddenly, her eyes lighting up. She shifted
938 against Tomoyo, leaning over enough to see the other girl’s pale
939 face. It seemed like such a good idea. She wanted to do everything
940 with Tomoyo, to spend every moment with her, to share everything with
941 her. Rollerblading had always been fun for her and it seemed even
942 better with Tomoyo. And why not? Yukito and Touya were always off on
943 long bike rides together. Or so Touya said.
944 Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes met Sakura’s shining emeralds. A sad
945 smile crossed her lips. That was so sweet of Sakura to want to share
946 that with her. But by then, it would be too late. They wouldn’t be
947 going together as a couple. They would just be two friends again by
948 the time Tomoyo was better. But nonetheless, she found herself
949 nodding. She couldn’t bear to disappoint Sakura. And it would still
950 be fun to skate with her, even if it wouldn’t be the same. “Hai, I’d
951 like that, Sakura-chan,” the dark haired girl replied softly.
952 Sakura smiled brightly at Tomoyo’s response. “Sugoi!” She hugged
953 the wheelchair bound girl even tighter. “That will be fun! I’ll teach
954 you how to rollerblade. It’s really not that hard. And you’re always
955 so good at everything, so you’ll pick it up in no time.”
956 “But now I have incentive not to learn how. If I don’t learn to
957 skate on my own, I have to keep holding onto Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo
958 reasoned thoughtfully, her bandaged head tilted to the side. Why
959 would she want to learn how to skate when it was so much more fun to
960 have Sakura skate around with her? It was like learning how to dance
961 on your own. Why let go of your partner?
962 Blushing profusely at Tomoyo’s words, Sakura looked down. That
963 didn’t help avert her gaze from the dark haired girl, though, as the
964 heiress was so close to her, taking up all of her attention. Still
965 blushing, she rested her head against Tomoyo’s soft shoulder. “Ano...
966 We.. we can still hold hands... Even if you do learn.”
967 Resting her head against Sakura’s, Tomoyo nodded slowly. “Learning
968 to skate, with Sakura-chan as my beautiful teacher... Watching you
969 move about so gracefully in your rollerblades, trying to help me
970 learn how to use them, it sounds so cute!” The heiress sighed
971 dreamily, already imagining it. Of course, the idea of rollerblading
972 was far from her mind. It was simply doing anything with Sakura hand
973 in hand that left her breathless. She could feel Sakura’s heart
974 beating against her back. Listening to its lovely rhythm, Tomoyo
975 began to breathe slowly along with it, their hearts beating in
976 tandem. Tomoyo’s heart called out to Sakura’s with each staccato
977 beat. She could feel Sakura’s warm cheek against her neck as Sakura
978 blushed. That only managed to lift her spirits even higher. Sakura’s
979 blush felt as cute as it looked. She rested into it, blushing
980 herself. The hot skin against her neck sent a shiver through her
981 body. She held her breath, almost afraid the moment would end if she
982 made any sudden moves. She wanted to hold onto it as long as
983 possible.
984 Still a little embarrassed, Sakura finally pulled away. She didn’t
985 notice Tomoyo’s soft sigh as she stood back up, brushing away her
986 auburn hair. Smiling enthusiastically, she stepped in front of
987 Tomoyo’s wheelchair. “Do we have all the things for our snowman?” she
988 asked curiously.
989 “Hai!” Tomoyo responded, lifting up the small bundle she had with
990 her. “But we could always just dress up Sakura-chan instead. You’re
991 much cuter than anything made of snow.” She simply smiled as the
992 blush returned to Sakura's cheeks. How could she possibly not love
993 the auburn haired girl? She was just so perfect.
994 “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura got out nervously, a hand resting behind
995 her head. She didn’t know if it was more embarrassing that Tomoyo
996 said such things or that she honestly meant them. But it was way too
997 cold out to let Tomoyo dress her up instead of a snowman. Not that
998 she would choose that option anyway, right. ‘Hoe...’ Sakura shook her
999 head, closing her eyes as she tried to clear her thoughts. When she
1000 opened her eyes, she saw Tomoyo still smiling at her, watching her
1001 with that loving gaze she always had. And Sakura wasn’t so worried
1002 anymore. “We’ll make the cutest snowman we can.”
1003 Nodding her agreement, Tomoyo began to shift through the small bag,
1004 pulling out little articles for their snowman. She sighed sadly,
1005 placing a hand on her cheek. “Our poor little snowman won’t be able
1006 to be on video with Sakura-chan. And worse yet, I can’t record Sakura-
1007 chan making a snowman in the first place.”
1008 Sakura laughed nervously. “It’s all right, Tomoyo-chan. I don’t
1009 think the snowman will mind,” she said reassuringly.
1010 “But you look so cute playing in the snow!” Tomoyo insisted,
1011 watching her friend kneeling in the snow in front of her. That would
1012 make such a cute image on videotape, something to play over and over
1013 again. What sweet torture this was! She had Sakura’s love for a whole
1014 week, but she couldn’t record a single second of it because she had
1015 yet to replace her camcorder. In the end, it would be like one long,
1016 beautiful dream. It was probably better that she couldn’t have
1017 videotape of it. It was brought about by magic. It wasn’t really her
1018 Sakura to have. So it would only be recording a charade. But if it
1019 was just a charade, it would be so much easier to ignore Sakura’s
1020 affections. It didn’t feel like that. Sakura felt so genuine, as if
1021 it was really her and not some magic spell causing this. ‘So this is
1022 what it would be like to have her love? It’s better than I could have
1023 ever imagined,’ Tomoyo thought to herself. ‘Sakura’s love is magical.’
1024 Sakura, meanwhile, was getting over her embarrassment by starting
1025 the snowman, scooping the snow together into some vague shape. She
1026 looked up to see Tomoyo still watching her from her wheelchair. This
1027 didn’t seem right. She knew that Tomoyo liked to watch her, but she
1028 wanted to do this together. Looking from the beginnings of her
1029 snowman and back to Tomoyo, she thought for a moment. Standing up,
1030 the auburn haired girl wiped her hands off on her skirt. The snow
1031 continued to drift around them, beautiful pieces of clouds falling
1032 from above. Sakura took a step forward before pausing, trying to
1033 decide exactly what to do. She reached forward and paused again,
1034 still unsure of herself. Tomoyo’s eye caught her own, looking at her
1035 with a look of complete faith. That strengthened her resolve.
1036 Reaching forward, Sakura gently wrapped her arms around Tomoyo’s
1037 waist. She could feel Tomoyo so close to her, could feel her breath
1038 against her cheek. Tomoyo felt so soft, so fragile. Sakura was almost
1039 afraid she would break the heiress if she moved wrong. Getting a
1040 better grip, the Cardmistress lifeted her best friend, walking back
1041 to the start of her snowman.
1042 Tomoyo’s breath caught in her chest as she felt Sakura holding her
1043 tightly, carrying her. Her cheeks flushed as she rested in Sakura’s
1044 arms. For a moment, she worried that Sakura would feel the frenzied
1045 beating of her heart. But then it dawned on her that Sakura’s heart
1046 was beating just as rapidly against her. Sakura’s arms protected her
1047 from everything in life, shielding her from everything but the warmth
1048 of her heart. She held on as well as she could with her working arm,
1049 feeling dizzy with the joy bubbling over in her heart. She didn’t
1050 want it to stop ever, to ever be anywhere else but Sakura’s warm
1051 embrace. There was no place sweeter in Heaven or on earth than that
1052 wonderful spot nestled between Sakura’s outstretched arms.
1053 Sakura paused for a long moment, Tomoyo held tightly in her arms.
1054 She pulled her closer, her eyes falling closed. The heiress’s long,
1055 beautiful hair fluttered around her like a cloak. “Tomoyo-chan,”
1056 Sakura thought she whispered. She slowly sat down in the snow with
1057 Tomoyo, not letting go of the pale girl in her grasp. She couldn’t
1058 bring herself to pull away. It felt so nice to be so close to Tomoyo.
1059 To know that Tomoyo was right there with her, that their hearts were
1060 beating together. She didn’t want that to stop. Blushing, she brushed
1061 back some of Tomoyo’s silky hair so that she could see her face
1062 better. Tomoyo looked back at her, little strands of lavender framing
1063 her pretty face as their eyes met. Sakura brushed more hair away,
1064 Tomoyo still cradled against her. This time, her fingers lingered on
1065 Tomoyo’s soft cheek. They stayed there for a long time, reveling in
1066 the feel of her friend’s warm skin. She swallowed, trying to stop the
1067 spinning of her heart. It did little to help. She was drawn in my
1068 Tomoyo’s beautiful features, by the feelings in her heart.
1069 Tomoyo gazed into Sakura’s eyes, her cheeks scarlet under Sakura’s
1070 touch. She breathed slowly, simply watching her green eyed goddess.
1071 Her soul swirled inside of her in a cacophony of emotions, wanting to
1072 entwine with Sakura’s beautiful soul. Was she really awake? Was she
1073 dreaming? Did it matter? For so long, she had dreamt of this moment,
1074 of being this close to Sakura, of being together. This single moment
1075 made those dreams feel like nothing. She could feel Sakura’s warm
1076 breath against her skin, her fingers still pressed against her cheek.
1077 Her heart cried out in joy. This was it. This was her what she had
1078 been wishing for through the years of their friendship. Sakura was
1079 almost upon her, their lips inches apart, their bodies together in
1080 the snow. Tomoyo could barely move, though whether that was from her
1081 injured body or the spell Sakura held on her, she couldn’t say. Her
1082 cheeks darkened as Sakura finally cupped her cheek, leaning in.
1083 Sakura leant in, her heart pounding inside of her as she kissed
1084 Tomoyo. She felt lush hair under her lips, shifting against her. She
1085 blinked curiously, pulling back slightly. Tomoyo was looking to the
1086 side, her cheeks crimson and her hair shifting around her. “Tomoyo-
1087 chan?” Sakura asked sheepishly. She had been about to kiss her best
1088 friend. But she loved Tomoyo. She did want to kiss her. She felt
1089 disappointed that she hadn’t been able to. She wanted to feel
1090 Tomoyo’s lips, to pull her close again. ‘Hanyaa...’ she thought,
1091 blushing.
1092 “So shall we get started?” Tomoyo asked her friend, smiling
1093 sweetly. But inside, she felt very different. Her thoughts spun
1094 around in circles, relief mixing with deep regret. She had missed out
1095 on a dream she had carried with her for years, to kiss her beloved
1096 Sakura. But she just couldn’t bring herself to take advantage of
1097 Sakura like that. The auburn haired girl had wanted to make her feel
1098 better. She hadn’t known that she would fall in love with Tomoyo
1099 because of it. Tomoyo didn’t feel right taking a kiss from Sakura if
1100 the brunette was a victim of her own magic. But still, her heart
1101 longed for that sweet kiss, the feel of Sakura near her again. As it
1102 is, she could barely move away at all anyway. So she was stuck right
1103 next to a very loving Sakura. That wasn’t fair. It was so tempting to
1104 just give in, to immerse herself in Sakura’s love for the week. But
1105 she just couldn’t do that to Sakura. She sighed inwardly.
1106 The Cardmistress slowly nodded in agreement, still confused. Hadn’t
1107 they been about to kiss? What happened? Sakura felt as if she was
1108 missing some vital link,. It was like she had seen some pictures out
1109 of order. It didn’t make sense. Maybe it was just Tomoyo being
1110 eccentric again. But that didn’t really fit. Tomoyo’s eccentricity
1111 always had to do with being closer to her in some way, especially in
1112 loving ways. Like kissing. Sakura came back to the present as she
1113 felt Tomoyo shifting on her lap. Sweatdropping, she slowly helped the
1114 other girl to her side. “Un!” she responded, nodding. Trying to
1115 ignore the past few moments, which was incredibly hard to forget, she
1116 began to shovel more snow onto the snowman with her gloved hands.
1117 Tomoyo slowly began to help her with her free hand, adding to their
1118 snowman.
1119 The two worked together quietly on their snowman, both girls
1120 concentrating on it. Every once in a while, their hands would touch
1121 and linger before one or the other would slowly pull away. They
1122 shared warm smiles and long glances, soft giggles and comments on
1123 their snowman as it progressed. The snow slowly began to take shape
1124 under their collective hands, forming into a cute little snowman
1125 before them.
1126 Looking through the little bag next to her, Tomoyo began to cloth
1127 their little snowman. She wrapped a shawl around it, tying red
1128 ribbons around the arms. Sakura busied herself with the shiny buttons
1129 Tomoyo had decided on for the eyes. Finally satisfied with their
1130 work, Tomoyo sat back in the snow, smiling. She gazed over at Sakura,
1131 brushing some dark hair from her eyes. “It’s so kawaii. Our little
1132 snowman, formed from our hearts coming together. It’s like having a
1133 baby with Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said delightedly.
1134 “Tomoyo-chan!” Sakura blushed a deep crimson, both hands going to
1135 her cheeks. A baby? She wasn’t ready to think about babies yet. She
1136 looked down, blushing. A weight rested against her side, something
1137 long draping across her back. Forgetting all about her embarrassment,
1138 she looked over to find Tomoyo leaning against her side. Smiling
1139 softly, Sakura’s arm went around the pale girl, pulling her closer.
1140 She felt Tomoyo sigh happily against her, sending a trill through her
1141 soul. Together they sat there, watching their snowbaby, holding onto
1142 each other. Snowflakes fell around the two, showering them with
1143 beautiful crystal gifts for their baby shower.
1145 Sakura sighed softly as she slid into the warm water of the bath.
1146 She nearly started at the nearly unbearable heat scorching her skin,
1147 but slowly relaxed into it. “I was out in the snow longer than I
1148 thought,” she said aloud to no one in particular, her voice echoing
1149 through the otherwise empty bathroom.
1150 Closing her eyes, she slipped deeper into the water, its soft caress
1151 lapping over her shoulders. She would be lucky if she didn’t catch a
1152 cold from all the time she spent in the snow. But it had been worth
1153 every moment. Her cheeks darkened slightly at the thought. She had
1154 lost track of time with Tomoyo by her side. Just how long had they
1155 sat out there together, anyway? It could only have been hours, but it
1156 had felt like it stretched on for days. Even then, it still wasn’t
1157 enough time for the Cardmistress. She pouted, resting her head back.
1158 “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura whispered longingly. Whenever they were
1159 apart, Tomoyo was all that she could think about. But then, Tomoyo
1160 was all she could think about when she was with the heiress, too. It
1161 was like Tomoyo’s touch had been imprinted on her soul, leaving its
1162 mark in everything Sakura did.
1163 How she could have missed these feelings for so long, she didn’t
1164 know. But now that she had uncovered them, they were almost
1165 overpowering.
1166 As she lay there, immersed in the warm water, she could see Tomoyo
1167 in her mind’s eye. The sweet, angelic girl so close, her stormy blue
1168 eyes sparkling, her pale skin so soft, her dark hair framing her
1169 beautifully. Without realizing it, Sakura leant forward, her lips
1170 puckered as if to kiss her pretty best friend. Blushing and blinking
1171 rapidly, the auburn haired girl gave up her attempt. A sigh escaped
1172 her as she sunk lower in the water. They had been so close! Just a
1173 few more inches and she would know what those cute lips felt like
1174 against her own, what it felt like to kiss Tomoyo. If only she could
1175 go back in time and get those extra few inches... The love in her
1176 heart was glowing with a singular intensity, nearly ready to burst.
1177 She felt like that love had nowhere else to go but through her lips,
1178 right into Tomoyo, as if she could use that to show the other girl
1179 the raging feelings inside of her.
1180 Well, there would always be other times. But she didn’t want to
1181 wait for some other time! Patience wasn’t Sakura’s strong point. Her
1182 mind delighted in the sweet torture of imagining kissing a slightly
1183 surprised Tomoyo over and over again. She sighed again. So close, yet
1184 so far away. Those inches might well have been miles.
1185 All she wanted to do was to hold Tomoyo close, to kiss her
1186 repeatedly, to feel the pale girl against her again, to experience
1187 every unique little thing about her, to take it all in and immerse
1188 herself in it all.
1189 The only thing troubling her was that she still couldn’t understand
1190 why Tomoyo had withdrawn from her when she had been about to kiss the
1191 heiress. Tomoyo was usually so warm and affectionate with her. She’d
1192 almost expected the pale girl to kiss her instead. So what had gone
1193 wrong? Maybe Tomoyo had just been too shy. But that didn’t seem like
1194 the other girl at all. Tomoyo certainly didn’t shy away from showing
1195 her love in any number of other ways.
1196 Sakura couldn’t get her mind off of the thought. Her mind spun with
1197 possibilities. But none of them adequately explained why Tomoyo would
1198 have turned away from her. None of them seemed quite right. None of
1199 them really fit Tomoyo.
1200 Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be anything she could do about
1201 it from where she was. But maybe if she tried again, whatever had
1202 gone wrong the last time wouldn’t be present. Or maybe it would and
1203 Sakura could actually figure out what it was. It felt like some
1204 complicated puzzle, but the answer shone brightly in her mind. She
1205 would kiss Tomoyo soon, sealing their love with a soul binding kiss.
1206 “Hanyaan...” she said aloud at the thought.
1207 The reason that it was getting to her the most was that she truly
1208 did want to kiss her dark haired friend, to be next to her, holding
1209 her, feeling her delicate skin against her own. She wanted to hold
1210 onto Tomoyo and to never let go again. To experience every little bit
1211 of her eccentric best friend.
1212 Her eyes closed, Sakura slid deeper into the water. A hand slid down
1213 her leg, hesitant. But her insistent thoughts were getting the better
1214 of her. She could already see herself kissing Tomoyo in her mind,
1215 could practically feel the pale girl next to her. She could see
1216 Tomoyo’s pale skin as clothes seemed to melt away, their lips meeting
1217 again and again. Tomoyo’s costume design returned to mind, her cheeks
1218 warming at the thought. She could see Tomoyo watching her excitedly,
1219 videotaping her, telling her how cute she was. And she could see
1220 Tomoyo coming closer, setting the camcorder down, kissing her again,
1221 her hands going across Sakura’s barely clothed body.
1222 Sakura made a small sound, shifting in the water. Her legs spread
1223 apart, water splashing about her. Her hands were moving in time with
1224 her thoughts, making it almost like Tomoyo was actually with her for
1225 a split second. She could almost feel Tomoyo's hands caressing her
1226 skin, Tomoyo’s soft voice echoing in her ears as the heiress became
1227 more insistent. She held herself open for a moment, almost expecting
1228 Tomoyo to accept the invitation. And the Tomoyo in her thoughts did
1229 just that, Sakura’s fingers mimicking her friend’s imaginary
1230 movements.
1231 Hunched over in the bath, Sakura took a quick breath, still lost in
1232 her fantasy. The water lapped around her body, but she could hardly
1233 notice it. All she could think about was Tomoyo. Everywhere. Always.
1234 Tomoyo. Her eyes were clenched tightly, painfully. She shook slightly
1235 and then slumped in the water, breathing heavily. Her cheek lay
1236 against the surface of the water, wet and warm. She tried to catch
1237 her breath, feeling almost feverish in the bath. The Cardmistress
1238 tried to collect her thoughts, but they were distant, fragmented. All
1239 she knew was that Tomoyo smiled back at her from every one of them.
1240 “Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered. She felt like she had been caught in
1241 a tsunami, torrents of emotion buffeting against her soul again and
1242 again. But she was slowly releasing their was no release from that
1243 feeling. It was still wrapped tightly around her heart. And Tomoyo
1244 was at the center of it.
1246 “Kawaii!” Tomoyo watched excitedly as Sakura stood before her in
1247 one of her costumes. The Cardmistress had visited again a short time
1248 ago and had agreed to try out several of Tomoyo’s costumes while she
1249 was there. This was the fourth costume she had worn. Only three more
1250 to go and Tomoyo would be all out of new costumes for Sakura to wear.
1251 She wanted to slow down time and speed it up at the same time. If she
1252 could slow it down, she could have even more time watching Sakura
1253 model her costumes. But she wanted to see what Sakura looked like in
1254 the others as well.
1255 One of the reasons she had so many costumes was that there simply
1256 wasn’t as much a reason for Sakura to wear her costumes anymore.
1257 Before when Sakura had been catching the Cards, she had needed a new
1258 costume for each of her adventures. Now that it was over, Tomoyo had
1259 to find a good time for her friend to come and model for her. So the
1260 costumes weren’t as necessary anymore, but Tomoyo did like being able
1261 to have Sakura wear them personally for her. And Sakura was sweet
1262 enough to do just that for her.
1263 Sakura still looked a little embarrassed, but she was starting to
1264 forget her nervousness. Everything affected her easily, but she moved
1265 on to other thoughts just as quickly. And it was hard not to get
1266 caught up in Tomoyo’s exuberance. The pale girl was usually so quiet
1267 and thoughtful, but when she was interested in something, like Sakura
1268 herself for interest, she made it abundantly clear. The Cardmistress
1269 wondered how she ever could have missed it before.
1270 Twirling in the long, multi-layered skirt she was currently in,
1271 Sakura could hear Tomoyo clapping. A smile lit up Sakura’s lips as
1272 she turned to face the heiress again. Taking the long skirt in her
1273 hands, Sakura curtsied to her audience of one.
1274 Back when Tomoyo had first made costumes for her, she had always
1275 worn them when she was busy with the Cards. She hadn’t had time to
1276 really appreciate them. Or the attention Tomoyo gave her when she was
1277 wearing them. After the whole debacle with the Cards was finally
1278 over, she had thought it would be the end of silly things like
1279 costumes. But Tomoyo kept making them regardless. Sakura had been a
1280 little baffled at first, but if her eccentric friend wanted to see
1281 her in them, she couldn’t refuse. If Tomoyo spent so much time on the
1282 costumes, it seemed only right to wear them. So she had begun
1283 modeling them for Tomoyo back then. It had been embarrassing at
1284 first, and still was to some extent, because she wasn’t busy with
1285 other things while wearing the costumes. It made her self-conscious
1286 knowing that she was being videotaped in the many different designs
1287 like that. But Tomoyo’s obvious excitement when she would wear them
1288 for her began to make her worry less. Tomoyo loved it so much when
1289 she would. And there was something about that that Sakura liked. Just
1290 knowing she had all of her friend’s attention, that Tomoyo’s eyes
1291 were on her and only her then. Though she had trouble admitting it,
1292 she did enjoy modeling for Tomoyo. In a way, it made her feel closer
1293 to her mother. But unlike her mother, she only wanted to model for
1294 Tomoyo. She was too shy to do that for anyone else. And she knew how
1295 happy it made the heiress. So slowly she began to do more in the
1296 costumes, actually modeling them, letting Tomoyo direct her where she
1297 would, taking snapshots and videotape of her in whatever costume came
1298 out next. It became a fun little thing they did together, an excuse
1299 to stay over for the weekend or to stop by after school.
1300 ‘Sakura, I have a new costume finished. Could you wear it for me?’
1301 ‘Sure, Tomoyo-chan! Just let me drop off my things at home.’
1302 And so it went. Days and weeks and months and finally years of lace
1303 and ribbons and videotape. Sakura looked forward to it more than the
1304 soccer practice she had been taking lately. Part of that was just
1305 seeing the smile and starry eyed looks Tomoyo gave her. But it was
1306 just fun. She loved being with her best friend, and dressing up for
1307 her was exciting. Slipping into a new outfit, anxious to see what
1308 Tomoyo thought, to hear her words on it, to see what poses she would
1309 want to see her in. It was exhilarating. And now it seemed to make
1310 more sense. Of course she liked Tomoyo watching her. Of course she
1311 wanted to model for her. Because Tomoyo’s never wavering love and
1312 attention meant everything to her. And she wasn’t taking it for
1313 granted anymore. And she could feel it so strongly when she would
1314 dress up for her.
1315 Her cheeks a little red, Sakura put a hand behind her head. “So
1316 what do you think?”
1317 “I think you look gorgeous in it, Sakura-chan. Like a beautiful
1318 dancer who wants to let go of everything and dance the night away,”
1319 Tomoyo stated dreamily, a hand on her cheek. Sighing contentedly, the
1320 heiress was in Heaven. What could possibly be more wonderful than
1321 Sakura modeling specifically for her? The athletic young girl was
1322 already so beautiful. Seeing her all dressed up in the costumes she
1323 made for her was stunning. And watching her pose and move about for
1324 her eyes only... Tomoyo sighed again, her stormy blue eye never
1325 leaving Sakura.
1326 The Cardmistress blushed at Tomoyo comment. Tomoyo always said
1327 rather complimentary things to her, but she always accepted them
1328 shyly. Part of her just couldn’t understand how Tomoyo thought so.
1329 The other part was just flattered to hear the other girl say it.
1330 Nonetheless, she always loved hearing her. It was like a puppy doing
1331 tricks for its mistress to hear loving words of praise. But with
1332 Tomoyo she never even had to do anything, or at least not knowingly.
1333 The dark haired girl seemed to find everything about her wonderful.
1334 “Which one should I wear next?”
1335 Tomoyo looked towards her desk where the other costumes were
1336 waiting. Placing her hand on her chin, she thought carefully. She
1337 would eventually see Sakura in all of them, but she still treated it
1338 like an important decision. It was all a matter of what would look
1339 best after the one Sakura was currently wearing. “I think you would
1340 look very pretty in the red one with the ribbons,” she said at last,
1341 indicating one near the bottom of the small pile of clothes. She
1342 watched Sakura walk over to claim the costume. “You are so cute in
1343 that,” she breathed happily, gazing at Sakura.
1344 The girl in question blushed again at hearing Tomoyo’s soft voice.
1345 It made her happy to know Tomoyo thought so. It sent warm waves
1346 lapping all across her soul. Quickly sifting through the costumes,
1347 she came about the red one in question. Turning to Tomoyo, she held
1348 it closely to her chest. “I’ll be right back, Tomoyo-chan!” she
1349 promised. The thought of being gone for too long was something she
1350 didn’t want to deal with. More than anything, she just wanted to be
1351 there with her dark haired girlfriend. Tomoyo merely smiled at her
1352 promise as she hurried out the door to change.
1353 Standing in the rather luxurious bathroom, Sakura began to pull off
1354 the costume she was wearing. She wanted to hurry up and return to
1355 Tomoyo, but she was afraid of ruining Tomoyo’s costume. ‘Each costume
1356 is stitched with love,’ she could remember Tomoyo saying. So she was
1357 always very wary about getting a stitch out of place. She didn’t want
1358 to ruin anything Tomoyo worked so hard on. Finally slipping out of
1359 the long skirts of her previous costume, Sakura examined the new one.
1360 It did look cute, like everything Tomoyo designed. It was very soft
1361 to the touch, and very pretty. It looked almost like something she
1362 would wear out on a date. Well, nothing she could afford to have in
1363 her own wardrobe, but something she could see herself dating in. She
1364 shifted around on her feet as if she were dancing, holding the dress
1365 tightly. Yes, it would be beautiful to wear out on a date with
1366 Tomoyo. It was a beautiful red dress with a large red ribbon in the
1367 back. It had black stockings and black gloves that went along with it
1368 as well as a red ribbon for her hair. The small red shoes had small
1369 ribbons on them as well. She smiled at the details. Tomoyo and her
1370 ribbon fetish. But it was very cute. She couldn’t wait to wear it for
1371 her.
1372 Tomoyo waited patiently in her room, staring at the spot where
1373 Sakura had been moments before, swishing about in the twirling skirts
1374 she had made for her. It wasn’t fair that her camcorder had been
1375 broken. This little fashion show would have made such a lovely tape!
1376 The type of thing she would watch again and again late at night and
1377 with her mother when she had some time away from work. But all she
1378 could do was try to remember every beautiful detail. Closing her
1379 eyes, she could imagine Sakura posing for her again, right there in
1380 front of her.
1381 This was her last night with Sakura. The next day was the end of
1382 their week together and her wish would be over. A bittersweet smile
1383 crossed her lips. She may not be able to have Sakura for forever, but
1384 she did have one beautiful week together with her. Even if she
1385 couldn’t be with Sakura, she got to experience her love, got to have
1386 a taste of the heavens. And she would never allow herself to forget
1387 that taste.
1388 Tomoyo had to admit that if she had to decide on an ending for
1389 their short-lived relationship, this was certainly a good one. A
1390 sparkling all-Sakura fashion show all for her. It was much better
1391 than watching Sakura on her videotapes. It was Sakura Live! It was
1392 the brunette in all of her amazing glory, right there for her to
1393 behold.
1394 The pale girl sighed, resting back in her bed. Soon this would all
1395 be over. Nothing but memories and dreams. But what was life without
1396 dreams? The heart can’t live without beautiful dreams to sustain it.
1397 She would miss this terribly. It would be unbearably difficult to
1398 just let go of Sakura’s love. But she would have to. And it would
1399 hurt. But she would always have these memories to fall back on. It
1400 wasn’t just a dream anymore. She now knew what it was like to have
1401 Sakura’s love. And it was more amazing than she had dared to imagine.
1402 Now when she saw Sakura married and in love, she would know exactly
1403 how lucky that other person was. And she would still have that little
1404 sliver of when Sakura had loved her that way. That would sustain her
1405 soul. It had to.
1406 The door opened, pulling Tomoyo’s attention away from her thoughts.
1407 In the doorway stood the athletic Cardmistress, resplendent in the
1408 red dress. It fit her perfectly, the ribbons making her look like a
1409 beautiful present. The heiress couldn’t say anything, transfixed by
1410 the image of her love. “You look lovely, Sakura-chan,” she said at
1411 last.
1412 Sakura blushed, stepping further into the room. She looked down,
1413 getting a different look at the outfit now that she was wearing it.
1414 “Thank you, Tomoyo-chan.” Looking up again, emerald green eyes met
1415 intense stormy blue. She was suddenly very glad Tomoyo picked this
1416 dress. It really was pretty and the heiress seemed to like it quite a
1417 bit. She turned to her side, posing for her friend. If Tomoyo still
1418 had her camcorder and wasn’t bedridden, now would be the time that
1419 the dark haired girl would be directing her, coming up with different
1420 positions for her and what she should be doing. So for now she just
1421 posed as best she could, wanting to do the best she could for her
1422 friend.
1423 Tomoyo wished more than ever that she still had her camcorder as
1424 she watched the Mistress of the Cards before her. She could always
1425 get Sakura to wear them again after her wish, but that just wouldn’t
1426 be the same. Sakura wouldn’t be wearing it the same way, with the
1427 same loving look in her eyes. It would just be disappointing. No, she
1428 would just have to remember this one. So her eye never wavered for a
1429 second, wanting to imprint the image forever in her mind.
1430 As if drawn by Tomoyo’s deep gaze, Sakura found herself nearing
1431 Tomoyo’s bed. Her heart was pounding in her chest more fiercely than
1432 during any of the trials she had faced. It took her a moment to
1433 realize that she had already come to a decision. It was that decision
1434 that had her so nervous. But it held her bound like a magic spell,
1435 pulling her forward. She couldn’t stop now if she wanted to. Sitting
1436 on the edge of the bed, she looked down at her bedridden friend, the
1437 injured girl staring back up at her. Slowly, she reached out and took
1438 Tomoyo’s hand where it stuck out from her cast.
1439 Watching Sakura, Tomoyo felt her cheeks flushing. Sakura was so
1440 close to her, gazing down into her eye. There was something there in
1441 those emerald orbs, something she was struggling to make out. They
1442 were warm, passionate. She could see a hint of nervousness in them as
1443 well. She squeezed Sakura’s hand with her own, trying to assuage the
1444 brunette’s worries. She always wanted to support Sakura, to be there
1445 for her. Even right now. Especially right now. Her fingers laced with
1446 Sakura’s, holding the gloved fingers tightly to her stomach. Her
1447 heart skipped a beat as she felt Sakura’s grip on her hand tighten.
1448 “Sakura-chan...” she whispered.
1449 The Cardmistress hesitated for a moment, a hurricane of thoughts
1450 swirling through her, all struggling for dominance. Should she? Could
1451 she? And then, a moment of calm. The eye of the storm. Everything was
1452 suddenly clear. Leaning down slowly, she held tightly onto Tomoyo’s
1453 hand, ready to kiss the dark haired girl. None of her thoughts
1454 mattered. This was what she wanted. Her shimmering first kiss with
1455 her one, true love. She could feel Tomoyo’s breath against her lips
1456 as she drew near, their hair teasing each other. She could only see
1457 into one of Tomoyo’s eyes, but it was a deep pool of adoration. That
1458 only spurred her on. Their noses touched ever so briefly, sliding
1459 across as she sought out Tomoyo’s lips. Her heart pounded in her
1460 chest as she rested half on top of Tomoyo, trying not to place too
1461 much weight on the injured girl. Their lips brushed lightly. Sakura
1462 felt sparks tingle through her, the feeling of petal soft lips
1463 blanketing her thoughts in a warm bliss.
1464 Tomoyo shuddered at the feeling of Sakura’s lips brushing against
1465 her own. Even that brief contact went straight to her heart. It felt
1466 so nice, so enticing. She pursed her lips, watching Sakura above her,
1467 her heart beating against Sakura’s chest. Feeling Sakura so close to
1468 her, against her, smelling her hair, seeing those large emerald orbs,
1469 it all coalesced around her into a real life fairy tale. But this
1470 wasn’t her fairy tale. No matter how much she wanted it to be.
1471 Closing her eyes, she sighed. Every bit of her wanted so much to give
1472 in, to let this kiss happen. But that wouldn’t be fair to Sakura. She
1473 could feel Sakura’s breath against her cheek and her resolve
1474 faltered. She already had a taste of Sakura’s love. Why couldn’t she
1475 have this? Why? Just this little bit of Sakura... In her love clouded
1476 mind, it all made so much sense. Just a kiss. Their first and last
1477 kiss. No one would ever have to know. Not even Sakura. So it wouldn’t
1478 be betraying Sakura. It would just be one, soft, lovely kiss...
1479 “Sakura-chan, please don’t,” Tomoyo whispered softly, reluctantly.
1480 She prayed that Sakura would stop in time. She prayed that Sakura
1481 wouldn’t listen to her and wouldn’t stop at all. She simply prayed
1482 with all her heart.
1483 “Tomoyo-chan?” Sakura asked, blinking slowly as if fighting off a
1484 haze. Why didn’t Tomoyo want to kiss her? Why didn’t she want to be
1485 close like that? Why didn’t she want to share their first kiss? Was
1486 something wrong? Sakura slowly sat up, disentangling herself from
1487 Tomoyo. “Tomoyo-chan, what’s wrong? Are you... not ready?” It was a
1488 silly question. Tomoyo didn’t seem to mind anything as long as it
1489 involved Sakura in some way, shape or form. Sakura couldn’t imagine
1490 her best friend not being ready to kiss. Tomoyo was already more
1491 mature than she was as it was. And if Sakura herself was ready...
1492 “No, it isn’t that, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo replied, her eye slowly
1493 opening. She sighed softly, not wanting to continue. There went her
1494 chance. And it was her own fault for it. “It’s that I don’t want to
1495 take advantage of you.” Explaining things was the only way out now.
1496 If she didn’t, it would only hurt Sakura’s feelings. She wanted
1497 Sakura to know that she wasn’t rejecting her.
1498 “Take advantage of me? No, it’s not like that at all. I want this,
1499 too, Tomoyo-chan! I do. With all my heart.” Sakura took Tomoyo’s hand
1500 in both of her own, holding it tightly. “I thought about this for a
1501 long time. It’s what I want. I want you to be my first kiss.” A blush
1502 crossed her cheeks when she finished.
1503 Tomoyo smiled sadly, looking up at the mistress of her heart. “And
1504 I would love to be able to do that for you, Sakura-chan. I want you
1505 to be my first kiss, too. But I can’t do that. I can’t take that away
1506 from you. I want your first kiss to be special. I want it to be with
1507 the one you really love.”
1508 “But I love you,” Sakura argued, not understanding. What was Tomoyo
1509 saying? Her heart began to beat in fright. She didn’t like where this
1510 was going at all. She held onto Tomoyo’s hand tighter, holding it
1511 like a lifeline.
1512 Squeezing Sakura’s hands back, Tomoyo felt her heart shiver within
1513 her. She didn’t want this to end. But she couldn’t hurt Sakura. She
1514 could never allow that of herself. “You don’t really love me, Sakura-
1515 chan. You granted me a wish last week. You didn’t know what it was.
1516 It made you fall in love with me,” Tomoyo explained quietly.”
1517 “No, that wasn’t it. It was...” Sakura blinked, trying to think
1518 back to that day. She had granted a wish for Tomoyo. She had
1519 forgotten what the wish was. And then she had realized her love for
1520 Tomoyo. A sudden pain shot through her heart. “No!! That’s not it! I
1521 do love you! It wasn’t a wish. It wasn’t...” Sakura sobbed weakly,
1522 tears falling onto the injured girl below her. The world had been
1523 pulled out from underneath her. She was falling, unable to grasp onto
1524 anything to slow her descent. This past week had been the best week
1525 of her life. This newfound love had meant everything to her. How
1526 could it only be a wish? Her hands clenched tightly onto Tomoyo’s,
1527 not letting go.
1528 Tomoyo held onto the other girl with her free arm, rubbing her
1529 back. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. It makes me sad to see you
1530 cry,” she said softly. “You made my fondest wish come true. For this
1531 past week, you have given me the greatest happiness I could imagine.
1532 I would never want to give that up for anything.”
1533 “But I do love you!” Sakura insisted, sniffling. “It’s not just a
1534 spell. I never knew how I felt. But I do now. I love you, Tomoyo-
1535 chan. I love you so much. It’s not just magic. It can’t be. I love
1536 you too much for it to be. I don’t want it to go away. Ever.”
1537 “I love you, too, Sakura-chan. With all of my heart. That’s why I
1538 can’t go through with this. It’s only a charade. It was a beautiful
1539 charade, but I can’t betray you with it. Because it’s not what you’d
1540 really want. It’s only my selfish spell that made you love me. And
1541 it’s over tomorrow. Then you’ll be free to fall in love for real with
1542 someone else,” Tomoyo explained, trying desperately to smile for
1543 Sakura. Tears threatened to overcome her, but she couldn’t stand to
1544 cry in front of Sakura, not when the auburn haired girl needed her.
1545 “Then I’ll fall in love with you as soon as the spell wears off,”
1546 Sakura replied, wiping angrily at her eyes to get the tears away.
1547 Frustration and helplessness surrounded her, leaving her feeling lost
1548 and lonely. “You aren’t selfish for wanting someone to love you. We
1549 all want that Tomoyo-chan. And you deserve it more than anyone I
1550 know. I want you to have it.” Her voice broke, more tears spilling
1551 down her cheeks. “I want you to have it with me. I love you.” She
1552 held onto the pale girl tightly, not daring to let go.
1553 Closing her eyes tightly, Tomoyo kept rubbing Sakura’s back. Her
1554 own tears were silent, a quiet backdrop to Sakura’s sobs. ‘I’m so
1555 sorry, Sakura-chan. I want it to be with you, too. More than
1556 anything,’ she thought sadly.
1558 “But I do love her, Kero-chan! She just doesn’t believe me. She
1559 thinks it’s all some spell. But it can’t be. I know it can’t. I
1560 really do love her.” Sakura squeezed her pillow tightly, wishing it
1561 was Tomoyo. She hated this. She felt sick. Ever since she had heard
1562 that her love might all be a dream she might wake up from, she had
1563 felt weak and brittle. If something so strong could be fake, then she
1564 had no idea what was real. But she couldn’t believe that. She
1565 couldn’t allow herself to.
1566 “...” Came Kero’s reply. He didn’t know what to say. It could very
1567 well be a spell for all he knew. Clow Reed had been rather
1568 unscrupulous with some of the spells he had worked in his day. And
1569 Sakura was even more powerful than he was. It sounded likely. But
1570 telling Sakura that didn’t sound like a good idea. He wanted to help
1571 his Mistress, but he didn’t know how.
1572 “I just have to prove it to her,” Sakura went on, ignoring her
1573 plush sidekick. “If I can make it past tomorrow afternoon, she’ll
1574 have to believe me. Because the deadline was only one week. And I
1575 know I love her. Because this wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t.”
1576 Resting her head against the pillow, she felt her tears soaking into
1577 it. She had thought that she had shed all of her tears at Tomoyo’s
1578 house, but they just kept coming. She sighed shakily.
1579 “I do love her. It’s not some stupid spell. Because she means
1580 everything to me. Because she makes me happy. I want to be with her
1581 forever. I want to hold her forever, just like I promised. When I
1582 close my eyes, I see her. I can hear her singing to me when I listen
1583 closely enough. When I’m with her, I’m the happiest girl in the
1584 world. When I’m away from her, I just want her to be there again.”
1585 Sakura held the pillow in a death grip, slumping onto her side in
1586 bed. “I’ve never felt this way before. Not even about Yukito. And not
1587 about Syaoran. She makes me feel better than I am. She makes me
1588 stronger, better, braver... I need her...” Her voice cracked again,
1589 her eyes shutting tightly.
1590 Sitting up, she clenched her fists tightly, blinking away her
1591 tears. Determination burned in her eyes. “I’m gonna prove it to her,
1592 Kero-chan. I don’t care if it was a wish or not. I love Tomoyo-chan.
1593 And I’ll love her even after tomorrow. I’ll love her forever.” Sleep
1594 would be long in coming that night, but Sakura focussed completely on
1595 her thoughts, on Tomoyo, on the feelings inside of her. She would
1596 overcome any spell. She wouldn’t let her love die the next day.
1598 “Please, Tomoyo-chan, you need to eat,” Sonomi said worriedly,
1599 holding out a bit to her daughter. The girl in question simply lay in
1600 bed, the life once again faded from her eyes. What had happened to
1601 her precious daughter? She had been so vibrant for the past week, so
1602 alive. Even if her body was having trouble recovering, Sonomi had
1603 been thrilled to see the sparkle in her daughter when they would
1604 talk. And now it was all gone again, as if it had never been there at
1605 all.
1606 “I’m sorry, okaa-sama,” Tomoyo said quietly. “I can’t. It hurts too
1607 much.” She closed her eyes tightly, trying to hold back the tears
1608 inside. She wanted to eat to appease her mother, but it was too
1609 difficult to work up the strength to eat. The last she had seen of
1610 Sakura was her wiping at her tear streaked cheeks before leaving.
1611 That image, her sad and lonely Sakura, remained with her. She would
1612 lose her the next day and it would all be over. And now Sakura was
1613 hurting because it. All because she wouldn’t kiss her. Tomoyo
1614 sniffled, closing her eyes tighter until they hurt. It was all her
1615 fault. Now she would be alone forever and her last memories of her
1616 time with Sakura would be that she ruined it.
1617 “What’s wrong?” Sonomi asked, suddenly concerned. “Where does it
1618 hurt, my little girl?” She set the plate aside, scooting closer to
1619 her daughter. Her heart cried out for Tomoyo, wanting some way to
1620 take away her pain, to wipe away those tears.
1621 “Everywhere,” Tomoyo replied, trying with all her heart not to cry,
1622 not to worry her mother. But it was no use. She felt herself being
1623 cradled in her mother’s arms, could hear her mother’s soft
1624 reassurances. Giving up, she burst into tears against Sonomi, crying
1625 in her arms. Those arms were her only solace. Sakura would soon be
1626 taken away from her and her memories would be marred with the pain
1627 she inadvertently caused. She cried against her mother until all her
1628 tears were gone. Sonomi would not leave her that night. Eventually,
1629 she fell asleep in her mother’s arms.
1631 Tomoyo lay in bed silently, staring up at her ceiling once more.
1632 She felt drained. Her whole body felt weak, empty. Her mother had
1633 finally gone to work only after Tomoyo had promised her that she was
1634 feeling better and that she would try to eat. And it was true. She
1635 was feeling a little better. The night before she had felt hopeless.
1636 Now she could at least be thankful that Sakura would probably forget
1637 all about her pain in just a few short hours and would be back to her
1638 normal, genki self. And her love would be gone forever. She closed
1639 her eyes, not wanting to think about that. A knock at her door drew
1640 her attention. At first she thought it was a maid, but she quickly
1641 changed her mind. The knock was soft and shy. “Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo
1642 whispered. “Come on in, Sakura-chan,” she said louder. The door
1643 opened to reveal her friend.
1644 Sakura gazed over at Tomoyo for a long minute, feeling a little
1645 awkward. After the day before, she wasn’t quite sure what to say. She
1646 entered the room, closing the door behind her. Walking over to the
1647 bed, she sat next to Tomoyo. Her thoughts swirled around her, but
1648 they weren’t the same pleasant thoughts that had assailed her the day
1649 before when they had almost kissed. But she was here for a reason.
1650 She didn’t have much time left before the wish ran out. She took a
1651 deep breath, mustering up her motivation. It wasn’t over yet. “I have
1652 something for you,” she said at last.
1653 “You didn’t have to get me anything,” Tomoyo said quickly. She
1654 offered a small smile. “You’re all I ever really wanted. I’m glad
1655 you’re here.” She reached over, taking one of Sakura’s hands in her
1656 own. Sakura returned the smile briefly, making her feel a little
1657 better.
1658 Digging around in the bag she had brought with her, Sakura pulled
1659 out a new camcorder. She looked at it for a moment before handing it
1660 out to Tomoyo. “I got it with the money I have saved up. Well, and
1661 I’ll be doing onii-chan’s chores from now until I move out because he
1662 helped with it. But I wanted to get you something.”
1663 Tomoyo put a hand on the camcorder, running her fingers over it.
1664 Her old one was gone now, but Sakura had gone to get her a new one.
1665 That meant so much to her. She looked up quickly, meeting Sakura’s
1666 anxious gaze. “Thank you so much, Sakura-chan. It’s wonderful!”
1667 Sakura smiled back, obviously pleased. “I know you could buy
1668 another one, but I wanted to get it for you.” She reached out, taking
1669 Tomoyo’s hands. “When you get better... Please use it a lot. To make
1670 up for all the time you’ve been stuck in bed. Whenever you videotape
1671 me, I feel so special. I feel like I’m your movie star. And that.. it
1672 really makes me feel happy. Seeing you smile when you’re watching me,
1673 it makes me want to do everything I can for you in front of the
1674 camera.”
1675 Nodding solemnly, Tomoyo looks up at Sakura. “I will. I’ll
1676 videotape as much as I can of you. So I can capture all of the
1677 beautiful moments in your life.”
1678 “In our life,” Sakura corrects, squeezing Tomoyo’s hands. “I’m not
1679 going anywhere. I love you. I’ll always love you. This isn’t going to
1680 change anything. I want you to videotape all of the wonderful things
1681 in our life. Our first real date. Our first baby. Our wedding.
1682 Everything. I want to sit with you when we’re all grown up and watch
1683 these tapes together. I want to be able to look back and blush at
1684 seeing us together through all the years. And I want to say, ‘See,
1685 Tomoyo-chan? I told you I’d hold you forever.’ And I want you to
1686 smile and..” Sakura closed her eyes, trailing off as tears fell down
1687 her cheeks.
1688 Tomoyo gently brushed Sakura’s tears away with her fingertips. “I
1689 love you so much,” she whispered. “And I will always love you.
1690 Exactly because of things like this. Because Sakura-chan has the
1691 biggest heart I know. And I know I’ll always have an important place
1692 in your heart, even if it’s just as your best friend.” Her heart sung
1693 at Sakura’s devotion, at the hopes and dreams Sakura held for them.
1694 She wished those dreams could come true, that they could spend an
1695 eternity together.
1696 “I will love you!” Sakura shook her head, tears flinging from her
1697 cheeks. “Even if I have to use another magic spell. I’ll always love
1698 you. I need you. I don’t want to lose you after all this.”
1699 Smiling softly, Tomoyo trailed her fingers through Sakura’s hair.
1700 “But then you wouldn’t be the Sakura-chan that I’m in love with. You
1701 wouldn’t be able to shine. Because you would be lying to your heart.
1702 And I want your heart to be free. I want you to fall in love with the
1703 person who can make you happiest, whoever that may be. Because I love
1704 you.”
1705 “How can you say that? How can you let that happen? Because I don’t
1706 ever want you being in love with someone else. I love you so much. I
1707 couldn’t let you go. You do make me happy. You make me more than I
1708 am. That’s why I don’t want to ever let you go,” Sakura argued, tears
1709 still falling past her chin.
1710 Tomoyo sighed, her eyes closing for a moment. She felt so tired. If
1711 only they could live happily ever after... “If Sakura-chan couldn’t
1712 let me go... That would make me very happy. And I’ll always love you.
1713 I’ll always be yours, Sakura-chan. Whether or not you know that.” It
1714 was hard for her to keep seeing this as magic. Sakura genuinely
1715 seemed to be in love. With her. She really seemed to want to spend
1716 forever with her. It was hard to write it off as just the spell.
1717 Because she knew Sakura. And Sakura was fighting desperately to hold
1718 onto her right now. And she didn’t want to fight against Sakura.
1719 Maybe Sakura really did love her. Her heart skipped a beat at that
1720 thought. Maybe she had been wrong all along.
1721 “I love you, too, Tomoyo-chan. And I always will. No matter what
1722 some stupid spell says. I love you,” Sakura insisted. As if to prove
1723 her point, she leant forward. Her tear-filled eyes closed as she
1724 leant over her best friend. Her hands held onto Tomoyo’s sides as she
1725 came closer. ‘I love you!’ she wanted to scream with every fiber of
1726 her being. She wasn’t going to let that die. Nothing would kill that.
1727 It may have just been a spell at first, but it was more than that
1728 now. She did love Tomoyo. And nothing would ever take that away from
1729 her.
1730 Tomoyo could feel Sakura against her, the Cardmistress’s chest
1731 shaking slightly as her body shook from crying too much. The heiress
1732 held onto the auburn haired girl as best she could, wanting to take
1733 that all away. Her dearest Sakura should never have to be marred by
1734 tears. Her own heart swelled as she saw Sakura leaning towards her.
1735 She didn’t want to betray Sakura. But she wasn’t betraying Sakura.
1736 This really was Sakura. These were her feelings, her hopes and
1737 dreams. Tomoyo met Sakura’s lips as they reached hers. That silky
1738 soft feeling melted against her lips, drawing away her breath in a
1739 sensuous kiss. She kissed Sakura back, her working arm going around
1740 Sakura’s waist as they did. Each kiss was like a declaration of love,
1741 a prayer that things would work out, that this wasn’t the end.
1742 Sakura finally felt Tomoyo lips against her own. This time there
1743 was no resistance. Tomoyo was kissing her back softly, sending a
1744 shiver through her body. It felt so nice. ‘I do love you,’ Sakura
1745 thought again, kissing back with all the strength she could muster.
1746 Tomoyo seemed a bit surprised at first, but quickly matched her.
1747 Sakura never wanted their lips to part. It felt intoxicating, like
1748 being bathed in pure love. She snuggled closer to Tomoyo, embracing
1749 her as they kissed again. If only she could keep kissing her until
1750 the deadline, until it was all over. She felt safe with Tomoyo, in
1751 her arms. She felt a dizzying mix of warmth and wonder at each
1752 additional kiss. She would prove to Tomoyo that she would hold her
1753 forever. That they would be together forever. She would make Tomoyo
1754 happy. They would always.. always... They would always what?
1755 Their lips met in kiss after kiss, turning Tomoyo’s world into a
1756 sea of cherry blossoms. Each lingering kiss felt like a brush of
1757 angel wings against her soul. For once, Tomoyo could fully express
1758 her love for the brunette, and she did so as best she could. She
1759 kissed back with all the love in her heart, trying not to think about
1760 tomorrow. There was only now. And now would last forever. She could
1761 slowly feel Sakura lessening the kisses, could feel less coming from
1762 the other girl. Sakura seemed bewildered, out of place. Tomoyo
1763 stopped immediately. Looking up at her friend. Her heart cried out, a
1764 sharp blade slicing through it. She wanted to deny it, to believe
1765 that it wasn’t true. But Sakura just looked at her in confusion. It
1766 was over. Her blissful week was gone. Sakura’s love was gone. Her
1767 most treasured gift was now no more than a memory.
1768 “Tomoyo-chan? What happened? I can’t remember anything. It’s all
1769 blurry. Hoe...” Sakura shook her head, trying to focus. But the
1770 harder she focussed, the further away it all got. Like a dream upon
1771 awakening, it all began to fade from her mind as if it had never
1772 been. She shook her head, sitting up. Had she fallen asleep on Tomoyo
1773 or something? “Did I make your wish come true?” she asked hopefully.
1774 That was the last thing she could remember, trying to make Tomoyo’s
1775 wish come true.
1776 Tomoyo forced a smile, blinking quickly. “Yes, you did, Sakura-
1777 chan. You did it wonderfully. It was the most beautiful wish I could
1778 ever hope for. Thank you so much for this week,” she said with all
1779 her heart. All her broken heart. Sakura’s love was gone forever now.
1780 Only her memory remained of it. She didn’t even have videos of it to
1781 relive it all. Only the time they shared. Now she would have to give
1782 it all up. And for Sakura, she could. At least Sakura wasn’t scared
1783 about losing her love anymore. Because for her, it had never been.
1784 But for Tomoyo, it would always live on in her heart.
1785 “Tomoyo-chan, are you crying?” Sakura asked worriedly.
1786 “Everything will always be all right,” Tomoyo whispered.
1788 Several Years Later:
1790 Tomoyo knelt before Sakura, sewing up a few last modifications on
1791 her best friend’s wedding dress. The wedding was only a day away and
1792 Tomoyo wanted everything to be perfect for her dearest Sakura. She
1793 had tried her hardest to help Sakura and Syaoran get together. They
1794 really did make such a cute couple. And seeing Sakura about to get
1795 married gave Tomoyo something to latch onto, to pour all of her heart
1796 and soul into. Sakura had given her practically a free reign over the
1797 wedding to do with as she pleased. So the heiress was putting her all
1798 into making sure it was the best wedding ever. She wanted it to be
1799 something Sakura would never forget. It was supposed to be the
1800 happiest moment in Sakura’s life, so it had to be absolutely perfect.
1801 Suppressing a yawn, Tomoyo went back to work on Sakura’s dress. She
1802 had barely gotten any sleep at all in the past week and a half. There
1803 was so much to do and she wanted to finish all of it in time for the
1804 wedding. Her life had been dedicated completely to the wedding, to
1805 the realization of her most cherished wish for Sakura to be happy.
1806 There would be no sleep that night either. She still had to make the
1807 wedding cake and finish the last few modifications on the wedding
1808 dress, which she was doing now. Sleep didn’t matter. Sakura’s wedding
1809 did. There would be plenty of time for sleep when Sakura was off on
1810 her honeymoon. And plenty of time for crying. But that was all for
1811 later. For now she had Sakura’s wedding to look forward to. In many
1812 ways, she had been hoping for it even more than Sakura. Because it
1813 had always been something she fantasized about, Sakura’s gorgeous
1814 wedding. So she had to strive to make that dream a reality.
1815 “Tomoyo-chan, are you okay?” Sakura asked concernedly. “You don’t
1816 look so well. You look sick.” She held her hands together in front of
1817 her as she waited for Tomoyo to finish. She felt so nervous.
1818 Smiling weakly, the young businesswoman shook her head. “I’m fine,
1819 Sakura-chan. I’ve just been very busy lately. It will be better after
1820 the wedding. Then I can watch my tape of Sakura-chan’s Happy Wedding
1821 over and over and over again.” Tomoyo sighed dreamily, returning to
1822 the task at hand.
1823 “But.. Tomoyo-chan, aren’t you lonely?” Sakura asked curiously,
1824 looking down at the beautiful heiress kneeling before her.
1825 “The best happiness is knowing that the one you love is happy. If
1826 they’re happy, that’s all that truly matters,” Tomoyo replied, not
1827 looking up. Of course she was lonely. But that was all right. Because
1828 Sakura wouldn’t be.
1829 Sweatdropping, Sakura continued to stare down at her friend. “I
1830 must be selfish, then. Because I want to be happy, too.” She sighed,
1831 waiting patiently for her friend to finish. She was used to being
1832 Tomoyo’s model for dresses by now, but the fact that this wasn’t just
1833 some normal costume sent a fresh wave of butterflies through her
1834 stomach.
1835 Tomoyo stopped her work, looking up at last. “You deserve to be
1836 happy, Sakura-chan. That’s not selfish at all. You want to be loved,
1837 to be happy. And that’s what I want for you, too.”
1838 “I hope so.” Sakura sighed, her eyes closing for a moment as she
1839 tried to relax. Kneeling down, she looked over at Tomoyo. Reaching
1840 into midair, she summoned a small ring with her magic. Looking into
1841 Tomoyo’s eyes, she took another nervous breath. “Tomoyo-chan, will
1842 you marry me?” she asked, holding out the ring in her hands.
1843 Tomoyo could only stare in shock for a frozen moment. This didn’t
1844 make sense. It didn’t compute for Tomoyo. Sakura plus Syaoran equals
1845 happiness. This wasn’t anything that she had planned. “But.. what
1846 about Syaoran?” she asked desperately, trying to make sense out of
1847 the situation. Her heart was thundering in her chest as she met
1848 Sakura’s gaze. Watching Sakura in her wedding dress, hearing her
1849 propose, she felt weak.
1850 Sakura looks down before answering. “I called it off a few nights
1851 ago. He’s already back in Hong Kong. My heart just wasn’t in it. You
1852 wanted this wedding more than I did. That’s why I couldn’t tell you.
1853 I didn’t want to break your heart. I didn’t want this wedding dress
1854 you worked so hard on to go to waste.” She pulled at the dress in
1855 emphasis. “I couldn’t let you do all that for the wedding and then
1856 just call it off. But my heart didn’t belong to him. I didn’t love
1857 him. I’ve been feeling more and more lately like I was just going to
1858 marry him because everyone wanted me to. Like I didn’t have a choice
1859 in the matter, that it was all expected of me. And more and more...”
1860 she sighs, looking back up into Tomoyo’s eyes. “I’ve been missing
1861 you. You’ve always been there for me, Tomoyo-chan. But sometimes I
1862 forget that I need to be there for you, too. And I want to be there
1863 for you. Through everything. Because I love you. I finally realized
1864 that. You’re the one who always makes me happy. Not him. Not anyone
1865 else. You do. Making this dress for me, working on my wedding, you
1866 were trying to give me something beautiful. You were trying to make
1867 me happy. I love you, Tomoyo-chan. I want to have this wedding. With
1868 you. It’s just as much your wedding as it is mine. You spent so much
1869 time on it. You deserve a little happiness, too.”
1870 “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo was taken aback by the sudden turn of
1871 events. Sakura’s words had her heart melting. She swallowed back
1872 tears, holding her hands to her chest. Her eyes were lost in emerald
1873 pools. It wasn’t even a question. “Of course I’ll marry you, Sakura-
1874 chan!” Tomoyo watched as Sakura breathed a sigh of relief and giggled
1875 herself, the tension draining from her weary body. Sakura reached out
1876 and took her hand, sliding the small ring on her finger. Such a
1877 delicate act sent ripples through Tomoyo’s heart and soul. Sakura’s
1878 hand didn’t leave hers when it was done, instead settling on her
1879 palm. She gazed at Sakura adoringly. This wedding had been all about
1880 Sakura’s happiness. It had been the goal she had striven for. And now
1881 Sakura was sharing that with her. “I’ll need to have someone use my
1882 camcorder to record it all,” she said thoughtfully.
1883 “I’m sure we’ll always remember it, even if it’s not on tape,”
1884 Sakura reassured her eccentric fiance.
1885 Tomoyo smiled at the other woman. “I made a promise a long time ago
1886 that I would. And years from now, we’ll sit together and watch it,
1887 those beautiful times we’ve spent together.”
1888 Returning the smile, Sakura nodded. “Un! And we’ll always be making
1889 plenty of new memories together, too.” She leant forward, a little
1890 shyly. Tomoyo met her halfway, kissing her. Sakura relaxed into the
1891 kiss, her fingers entwining with Tomoyo. The wedding seemed far off,
1892 like a distant happening. This was what she really wanted. Her
1893 fingers gently brushed through Tomoyo’s beautiful hair, feeling the
1894 strands between her fingers. She could feel Tomoyo’s warm hand on her
1895 cheek. She sighed happily as she sat back.
1896 Tomoyo watched Sakura, entranced. Her head was still swimming from
1897 their kiss. The wedding she longed for, the girl she loved, the
1898 happiness she didn’t think she could have had all managed to find
1899 their way onto her lap. It was almost too much to bear. Sakura hugged
1900 her tightly, the wedding dress clad woman snuggling against her.
1901 Tomoyo sighed deliciously, melting against the auburn haired girl.
1902 “I’ll never let go, Tomoyo-chan, I promise,” Sakura whispered, her
1903 eyes closed. Her fingers trailed absentmindedly through Tomoyo’s
1904 silky hair. For the first time in months, she wasn’t worried about
1905 her wedding. Now she couldn’t wait. She didn’t know how she would
1906 explain the change of plans to everyone, but it didn’t seem to
1907 matter. Tomoyo would be there with her. She could do anything with
1908 Tomoyo by her side.
1909 “That’s all I could ever wish for,” Tomoyo replied, resting her
1910 head on Sakura’s shoulder. There was still much to be done for the
1911 wedding. She still needed to finish Sakura’s dress. And she hadn’t
1912 even started on the cake. But all of that paled in comparison to
1913 Sakura herself. Tomoyo finally had her wish. Sakura was happy. And in
1914 a beautiful miracle, she got to be the one to make Sakura happy.
1915 There would be time for a big, noisy wedding soon. For now, she just
1916 wanted to be with Sakura. And Sakura felt the same. Sighing happily,
1917 Tomoyo nuzzled Sakura’s neck, her eyes falling shut. “I love you,”
1918 she whispered, her voice muffled in Sakura’s dress. She had finally
1919 found the magic. It was there. Everything really would be all right.
1920 Because Sakura brought out that magic. And she could believe that
1921 with Sakura. Because their happiness was intertwined, two beautiful
1922 red ribbons tied together into a bow. “So what do we name our baby?”
1923 Tomoyo asked curiously.
1924 “Tomoyo-chan..” Sakura sweatdropped. “Don’t you think you’re
1925 looking a little too far forward?”
1926 “I’ve been planning Sakura-chan’s wedding since I was ten years
1927 old. I like to have everything nice and worked out so that it can go
1928 smoothly,” Tomoyo explains. “And you’ve already granted one of my
1929 wishes. And wishes usually come in threes. My next was to see Sakura-
1930 chan with a beautiful baby.”
1931 Sakura giggled softly, nodding. “Hai, I’ll see what I can do about
1932 that one. But later. And what’s your third wish? It has something to
1933 do with ribbons, right?”
1934 Tomoyo blinked. “How did you guess?”
1935 Sakura blushed, holding closer to Tomoyo. “I should have known. I
1936 think I can make that one come true on the honeymoon.”
1937 “See? It’s fun to plan things ahead. And I think Sakura-chan’s
1938 getting good at it.” The pale girl giggled, resting against Sakura.
1939 Their hearts beat in tandem. And the two held each other, listening
1940 to their very own melody.