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author | Robert McIntyre <rlm@mit.edu> |
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date | Tue, 22 Jun 2010 13:42:35 -0400 |
parents | fc00894c1d4a |
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1 We Meet Again (Shoujo-Ai Archive Fanfiction)We Meet Again2 a Card Captor Sakura fanfiction by Kamui Ikari3 Hi!!! I'm back with a new story of CCS. I remembered that I promised4 time ago I would make a story called "We meet again", but I forgot it.5 Then I did "You and me, together forever", "Maņana" then finally I did6 this story. This story will closure that period that I started with7 "She won't cry for you", "Don't lose Hope" and "Tomoyo's Farewell8 Letter", these ones are about Tomoyo's destiny after the ugly ending of9 CCS, especially "She won't cry for you" where Tomoyo's destiny is10 facing at her fifteen years old her own death. Really, I never thought11 why I made these stories. It was a moment a depression, but I finally12 decided not make these type of stories nevermore. Because I realized13 that I was giving the reason to the Sakura x Syaoran fans. Why?. Maybe14 in my opinion, for them this topic is closed, but for me not. They have15 their happy ending, then why I would make more stories only to give16 them the reason? Honestly, I would accept the official ending, but I17 don't and never. Why?. In my opinion, the ending was very forced,18 Sakura started to see Syaoran as a friend but in the last volume of19 manga, she fell in love with him so fast, and ended with him in the20 end. For me it's ugly, but for the S+S fans it's okay, they ended21 together and that's all. But for me that relationship is not22 convincing, Sakura fell in love with him so fast. That kind of "fast23 relationship" is not convincing for me. Another point that I don't like24 it, is that Tomoyo was the only character that ended alone in the end,25 all ended with someone in the end less her. Well, enough of thoughts26 but I need to get out of my chest.28 Some points:30 -The story takes places after the end oof CCS.31 -It seems for the title that is a S+S sstory, but I'm sorry. It's a yuri32 fic, of course you must know what is yuri but I will explain: is a term33 designed for love between girls, women, etc. So if you don't like these34 type of stories please leave, if you like please go on.36 I hope you liked it and I will see you at the end of story.38 -----------------------------------------------------------------------40 How did it start? It started when I was ten years old, I remember that41 I was waiting on my seat when I met her. She gave me an eraser and said42 that she was glad to give me that. We became best friends and we did43 many things together, but all that changed. She found the Clow Book and44 opened it, then she became the Card Captor. I made costumes for her,45 recorded her on video, anything that she needed I was willing to give46 her.48 He came too. A Chinese boy that was her rival first, later her friend49 and finally her number one person.51 It's true that I said I'd him give a try, I was hoping that she will be52 happy with him, I was hoping to stay with her until the day that I53 would tell her my true feelings.55 She choose him as her number one person, she and him gave the names to56 the bears. He left to Hong Kong and she promised to wait for him. I57 remember when she left to find him and tell her feelings.59 I was smiling, then I knew that my true feelings would be sealed60 forever and went to my house. I think that my mother entered in my61 room, she found me in bed. She looked at me with an understanding look62 on her face, she embraced me and didn't say anything.64 I remembered that I cried so much.66 She was naive as I was. I was naive because I was hoping that she would67 choose me as her number one person. But she didn't. She is my number68 one person but I wasn't for her. I was in love with her, but she ended69 with him. After he left, things seemed to return to normal. We did the70 same things that we did together before, but she usually said that she71 couldn't wait to see him again. She thanked me for being her best72 friend.74 I smiled at her, but inside me I knew that was the end for my chances75 of telling her my feelings. After five years he returned to Japan, I76 saw their meeting and she said that they will be together forever.78 Once again I smiled but my heart broke again.80 Then all changed, we started a new period on college. A new group of81 students came to our classroom. She was very popular in class, they82 became her friends and I was happy. Chiharu, Rika, Yamazaki and Naoko83 weren't with us. They parted from us, looking for their own path.85 When the classes were over, she waited for him, he came for her and86 they leave as usually they did. They greeted me as always they did.87 Then I walked to my home alone as I always did.89 Life was showing my destiny, a destiny that suited me, alone.91 During that time she didn't call me at my house like the times she did92 before, the calls were distant. In school, I was wishing to do93 something for her. I asked her if she needed something many times. Her94 response was the same:96 "No, I don't. Thank you."98 I asked her if she wanted to talk with me, but she said that she99 didn't.101 I knew when I wasn't needed.103 I didn't press her to have a talk with me or need something. I just let104 her go.106 I saw many times how she went to her new friends to ask something, need107 something and how they agreed. She was happy with them. She and him108 went with them to their dates. She was happy with him.110 When Valentine's Day came I made chocolates for her. I was hoping that111 at least she would receive them. When I gave it to her, she thanked me112 but she returned them to me. She said that I would give them to a boy,113 because all girls do that, giving chocolates to a boy. I said that I114 didn't have a boy and I would like to give them to her. But she said115 that she wouldn't receive them, she said that when we're children it116 was normal, but that now it was different. Because a girl that did that117 it wasn't "normal".119 My heart broke again.121 She gave them to me and left. He was waiting for her and had a box of122 them for her, they embraced and kissed. Once again I smiled.124 I left the place and when the class was over I went to my house. I left125 them on the desk and I collapsed on my bed crying. The next day I126 looked for her and said that I was sorry but I wanted to give it to her127 because she was my best friend. She said that Valentine's Day is a day128 for the ones who were in love, not friends. She asked if I saw someone129 of the girls doing that. I said to her no, she said that I was the only130 one who did that and her friends said to her that I wasn't normal. Then131 she said that became a rumor through college. I asked her if she132 believed it. Her response was simple:134 "Yes."136 I asked to her what she saw on me that could be considered "not137 normal". She said that I was obsessed with her. I was in love with her,138 I was worried about her, I wanted her to be happy, is that called139 obsession?141 It seems that for others is, but not for me.143 For me it's to be in love with her.145 She said that her friends said that I'm different, I asked her what146 they said.148 "They said that you're... a lesbian."150 Once again, I asked her if she believed it.152 "I don't want to believe that you..."154 "That I'm?" I asked her serious.156 "No, I don't want to believe..."158 Maybe a talk could help it...160 I extended my hand but she said:162 "Please... don't touch me, please don't look at me, you... scare me"163 she said to me with tears in her eyes.165 Then I smiled to her and said:167 "You believe them, don't you? Please be honest" I said smiling.169 "At first no, but now it seems that yes" she said with tears.171 Before saying something, she said:173 "Please go, please go, please go... please" she said crying.175 I smiled with tears and then I left her alone but I said something:177 "I just want you to be happy , that's all"179 She didn't say anything and I left.181 The following week was harder.183 When I entered in the class, nobody greeted me. I heard them saying184 that I was a freak, a lesbian, a error of nature. Nobody wanted to185 speak me, to ask me something, and needing something... nothing from186 me.188 She didn't talk to me, when I was looking for her she avoided her gaze,189 she changed her seat. She went far from me. When the class was over, I190 just went to my house. My mother was taking care of my little brother,191 Kenji. He born when I was 13 years old. She saw me and left him and192 came to me.194 She embraced me again and said:196 "Just let it out, let it out"198 Once again I cried.200 After that I went to my room and locked it, I went to my bookshelf, I201 chose one of her videos. I put it on. It was one of her battles202 against a Clow Card. I looked to my camera, I haven't used it for many203 years, always I found something about her that I wanted to record.204 Anything about her, I wanted to record.206 After that I looked to my sewing tools, I remember how much time I207 spent making the costumes for her. I was happy to make costumes for208 her, just saw her with my designs made me so happy. I did many things209 for her. Time ago I heard that if someone did something they will get a210 reward.212 Maybe what's happening to me is my reward for all I did.214 Then I went to my bed and I thought about making a decision about my215 life. At the next day I talked with my mother about the decision. She216 was surprised but she said if that was I really wanted she would accept217 it.219 "Thank you, mother," I said with tears.221 After that my mother helped me with arranging things, after a few days222 I made a bear for my brother. Then I knew that there was one thing left223 to do.225 I dialed her number.227 "Hello, Kinomoto house."229 "Hi, Fujitaka-san. Is Sakura there?"231 "No, she went a date with her boyfriend. Do you need something?" he232 asked.234 "Yes. Please could you tell her "Farewell" for me?" I asked.236 "Yes, but did something happen?" he asked worried.238 "No, but could you tell her "I won't interfere with your life anymore,239 just be happy. It's the only thing I most desire," for me please?"241 "Yes," he said uncertainly.243 "Thanks for everything, Fujitaka-san. Send my regards to Touya-san and244 Yukito-san" I said and hung up the phone.246 After that I went to see my brother, he was sleeping with the bear that247 I made. I smiled and kissed him on the forehead.249 I left his room and picked my things. My mother was waiting for me.251 "It's almost time."253 "Yes."255 We picked a car and went to the airport.257 "Will you write me?"259 "Of course, I will be back someday. Don't worry about me, but I need to260 do this. Take care of Kenji-kun, please," I said to her.262 "I will wait for that day" she said crying.264 "Me too," I said crying.266 We embraced tightly, then I picked my things and took my flight.268 A flight which will make me leave Japan and her.270 **********272 I traveled the entire world, it was easy because of the family's273 fortune. My mother settled things about my studies and I didn't have to274 worry about that. The trip was the last chance to start a new life275 without her. The trip was about healing my broken heart.277 I never imagined how the outside world was. I went to many countries in278 Europe, North America, South America. I learned many things from these279 places.281 My mother sent me photos of Kenji and her. My brother was growing up282 and he was cute. He asked about me many times, when I would return to283 Japan. I would like to tell him the real reason of my departure but I284 didn't want make him sad. My mother also asked me about my return, that285 she missed me so much. I missed them so much, I knew that I would286 return someday but I wasn't ready. I send them the things that I got in287 the countries that I stayed, photos, gifts, anything of these places.289 I traveled the world for almost six years but as the time passed, I290 felt empty...292 I missed her so much.294 During that time, I tried to break the bond to her, but I failed. I295 looked for someone special but I didn't find anyone.297 Once again, life was showing my destiny, alone.299 Before heading to Japan I stayed for a time in Argentina. I met300 someone, an old woman who tells the future. She said that I was wrong301 about the reward. That the real reward will come from someone302 unexpected. After that I left Argentina and went back to Japan.304 **********306 During the flight back, I read the letters my mother sent me, I was307 surprised to see a letter from Eriol-san. We wrote some letters before308 but curiously the letters were distant, sometimes I didn't receive309 anything from him. I read the letter, he wrote that he finally began310 with his life after choosing not to be a magician anymore. He was311 studying to become a lawyer, that Nakuru-san was in couple with a man,312 that Spinel was working on a TV program for kids. He wanted to know how313 was everything in Tomoeda, but I wasn't in Tomoeda for almost six314 years. After that he said that he was married with Kaho Mizuki-sensei315 and she was waiting a child from him. He was excited and couldn't wait316 to see his child. He asked if I got someone special. I would like to317 say to him that I didn't.319 In this six years I realized that I can't love anyone but her...321 Soon I noticed I was in Japan. I left the airport and went directly to322 my house.324 After a time I reached my house and I pressed the doorbell.326 "Who is it?" asked the voice through the receiver.328 "It's me, Sonomi's daughter, Tomoyo Daidouji" I said happily.330 The door opened and I entered. I waited for my mother to come out of331 the house.333 She did, she was crying with joy.335 "You came, as you promised." she said crying.337 "Yes, I'm back. I never forgot the promises I made. I waited for this338 day, mother," I said crying.340 We embraced crying.342 "Why you didn't tell me that you were returning? I would have gone to343 the airport to pick you up," she said worried.345 "I wanted to give you a surprise mom," I simply said.347 "It's so good that you're here now, I just thought that you would never348 return..." she said crying again.350 "I promised you that I would return to Japan, remember? I'm here" I351 said.353 After that we entered the house, I saw Kenji with a beautiful girl of354 his same age.356 "Tomoyo nee-san!!!"358 "Hi, Kenji onii-chan!!!" I said happily.360 He embraced me crying..362 "I missed you so much, nee-san" he said crying.364 "I missed you, too. You're a strong boy, onii-chan. And cute" I said365 smiling.367 He blushed.369 "Will you leave again?" he asked.371 "No, I won't. I will stay with you, onii-chan. I will never leave you372 alone, and mother too" I said.374 My mother was smiling.376 I was glad to stay here with my mother, my brother, with the people377 that loved me...379 If only she could understand my true feelings...381 "You brought me something?" he asked happily.383 "Of course! I have many things for you, onii-chan. Who is this384 beautiful girl?" I asked politely.386 "I'm Hinako, I'm pleased to meet you, Daidouji-san"388 "Just call me Tomoyo. You're really cute Hinako-chan."390 "Thanks, Tomoyo-san" she said blushing and bowed before me.392 I talked with them about the things that I did these six years. While I393 was talking with them I noticed that Kenji-kun and Hinako-san were394 holding hands, I smiled at the sight of that.396 They were talking about many things and my mother and me left them397 alone. We entered in the kitchen and the maid prepared two cups of tea398 for us. We went to my room for a talk.400 "Kenji onii-chan and Hinako-san are going out, mom?" I asked to her.402 "Yes, it seems for me, they didn't accept yet. But I saw the love403 between them. I'm glad that he found someone special like her" she404 said.406 "He will pass the Daidouji's name to his future sons and daughters. But407 I'm not glad for this, I'm glad because he will not suffer as we408 suffered all these years. If someday he's going to suffer, his pain409 will be different from ours, he was born fated to follow a different410 path that us" I said with a smile.412 "It's true, his path is different than ours" my mother said sadly.414 "Do you still love her, mother? Do you still love Nadeshiko-san?" I415 asked her.417 "Yes, even I tried to break the bond to her, I didn't. It was my first418 love, but it was unrequited. I continued with my life after she get419 married, I found your father and married him. I loved your father, but420 it wasn't the same that I still feel for Nadeshiko, she is still in my421 heart," my mother said.423 I nodded at her.425 "And you? Do you still love Sakura?" she asked me.427 "Yes, it's my first love too. I thought that the trip would make me428 forget about her, but I still love her. It seems that we can't break429 that destiny. I believe that we can't control love, love controls us.430 The first love is special but is more special when it's your first love431 and your true love." I said sadly.433 "You thought about marriage, Tomoyo?" she asked.435 "Yes, I thought about that. But I decided that I will not marry.436 Because I can't love anyone but her. Even I tried to letting go of her437 but I failed, she is like a seed that is strongly implanted on my438 heart. What would happen if I have a child, a daughter? She would fell439 in love with her daughter, and then the same would repeat again. I440 don't want that child suffer. I want to end this cycle that began with441 you mother. It started with you, it will end with me." I said.443 "You're strong, Tomoyo" she said.445 "We're strong mom, you and me. We're strong because realizing that446 you're in love with a person of your same sex and accepting it made us447 strong, being rejected made us strong. Your unrequited love and mine448 made us strong. Life made us strong for standing up when we fell. If my449 destiny is to be alone, I will accept it then" I said.451 She embraced me.453 "Ah, I have some news of your friends," she said.455 "From whom?" I said.457 "From Chiharu-san, Yamazaki-san, Naoko-san and Rika-san" she said.459 "Really?!" I said happily461 My mother told me about their destiny. Yamazaki and Chiharu got married462 and waiting a child. Naoko got a boyfriend. And Rika got married with463 Terada-sensei. I knew that Rika and Terada were going out. She told me464 before heading her own path, I was surprised but I whished her luck.466 After that, when it was almost midnight, I decided to take a walk. My467 mother sent the bodyguards with me. After a time, I told them to leave468 and I will call them when I was ready to leave. I walked to the King469 Penguin Park, it seemed that nothing changed in these almost six years470 of absence.472 I sat in one of the swings and looked to the stars, they were shining473 and so was the moon. Then I heard something...475 "Last night, I dreamt that you returned to Tomoeda" said a voice.477 I froze at the sound of that.479 "We meet again" said the voice again.481 I had no doubt, it was her voice.483 I turned around to see her, and I found her. I saw something different,484 she was different. She was smiling sadly, and a tear ran through her485 cheek. Her hair was still short but a little longer, her eyes were so486 different... they could tell a lot of emotions, but it seemed that they487 showed... pain.489 I saw her sitting in another swing then I turned my head.491 "You traveled the entire world, didn't you?" she asked.493 "How did you know?" I asked surprised.495 "Because I did a lot of researching. I did anything to find where you496 were" she said quietly.498 Before saying something, she said:500 "I broke with him" she said darkly.502 I was shocked to hear that, I believed that she and him would be503 together forever. She chose him as her number one person, it couldn't504 be.506 "Why did you break with him?" I asked surprised.508 "Because, in the end we didn't match. In the beginning all was right,509 but as the time passed, we started to have fights. He was jealous of510 any person that approached me. I tried to make him have trust in511 others, but I failed. As we were growing we'd changed, he was different512 as I was. After a some time, we decided to break the relationship and513 he returned to Hong Kong." she said.515 "But you loved him..." I said.517 "Yes, I did. But not now. I learned one thing: a relationship, any518 relationship must be built between the parts. I believed that I fell in519 love with him, but I realized that only I had a crush on him. I waited520 five years for him, but I never thought if I really loved him. I didn't521 want to lose him because what Eriol told me, I didn't have any idea522 that he loved me. I saw him as friend and didn't want to lose him, then523 I realized that I was in love with him, but I never thought if they524 were my real feelings. How could I be so blind? I was blind of love but525 I never thought that we changed during these five years of waiting.526 With the fights I started to wonder if I really loved him or didn't. In527 the end I realized that I wasn't in love with him" she said.529 "I see..."531 "I broke with my friends too..." she said.533 "What?" I said.535 "Yes, I broke because I didn't want to be popular. Because I didn't536 want to follow their advice anymore, because of that advice... I almost537 lost you." she said.539 "I don't care about what will happen to me. Only seeing you happy it's540 enough for me" I said.542 "I know that..." she said as she stood up and came to me.544 I looked at her, she was crying softly and smiling at me. I extended my545 hand but I stopped.547 "What's happened?" she said quietly.549 "It's just... you said that you didn't want me touch you, remember?" I550 said sadly.552 She took hold of my hand and laid it in her cheek.554 "I want you to touch me, to see me... I was so stupid saying that, I555 almost destroyed our friendship. You were there when I needed556 something, even you were there when I said that I didn't need557 something. You were always worried for me. I'd changed in these almost558 six years. I never hated you, just I couldn't understand that you were559 in love with me..." she said.561 "How do you know that I'm in love with you, couldn't it be another562 girl?" I asked her.564 "You said that you wanted your special person happy, didn't you? I565 realized that I'm that person, for what you said and what father said566 to me when you left Japan" she said.568 "Are you angry with me for loving you?" I asked her.570 "No..." she said and made me stand up.572 She embraced me, I tried not to embrace her but I failed. My arms went573 around her and we embraced tightly. She rested her head in my shoulder.575 "Welcome back, Tomoyo-chan" she said crying softly.577 "Thanks, Sakura-chan" I said crying.579 *******581 I will never forget that day... when we met again.583 After that day, we did many things together as before. It was a restart584 of our friendship, she was fine with me, even knowing that I still585 loved her. One day she called asking me if I could go to her house. I586 agreed and I went to her house, she was waiting for me. She said that587 wanted me to go out with her. In other words, she wanted a date with588 me. I was surprised, but she erased my doubts kissing me.590 From the day we met again until the day that she kissed me four years591 passed. And two more years of going out.593 Without knowing it, we built a loving relationship between us.595 ******597 I was looking to the stars in the sky when I felt her arms around my598 waist.600 "What are you thinking Tomoyo-chan?" she said.602 "Remembering what happened between us all these years, from the first603 day than I met you, eighteen years ago" I said still looking at the604 stars.606 She turned my head and I was looking at her.608 "I never meant to hurt you, but I did. But I promise you that I will609 never hurt you again. I don't know if I will be able to heal the pain I610 caused you" she said sadly.612 "We have to live with pain, every person has a type of pain, and pain613 will be present in every person of this world. Things would be614 different if pain doesn't exist, but it does exist. But if two people615 meet each other, they could be able to heal the pain they have." I616 said.618 I caressed her hair, it was smooth.620 "I love you Tomoyo-chan. You're my true number one person" she said.622 "I love you too, Sakura-chan. You are always my number one person. I623 don't mind my pain, because in the end I have you, and we will be able624 to heal our pain" I said.626 "It's true" she said.628 We kissed each other and went to sleep.630 ******632 I wake up and I look to her, she is sleeping nicely. Then I remember633 what the old woman told me before, that the real reward will come from634 someone unexpected. I never thought that Sakura-chan falling in love635 with me would be the real reward for all I did. I just thought that I636 would be alone for the rest of my life. But it seems that is not.638 "I love you, Sakura-chan" I whisper.640 "I know. I really love you too, Tomoyo-chan" she says opening her eyes.642 "Are you awake?" I ask smiling to her.644 "I was awake, I was only imitating that I was sleeping." she says645 smiling.647 I smile to her.649 "Tomoyo-chan, I want to know one thing: Will you stay with me forever?"650 she asks me.652 "Of course I will. You are my reason to live, I promise I will make you653 happy" I say to her.655 "You know what? One thing will make me happy" she says.657 "What thing?" I ask.659 "You marrying me, someday" she says blushing.661 I open my eyes and I feel tears coming down my cheeks.663 "Are you serious?" I say crying.665 "Yes, I'm serious. But you don't have to give me an answer right now,666 but until that day come; promise me that you will stay with me" she667 says taking my head between her soft hands.669 "I promise, I promise" I say still crying.671 We kiss each other and leave the bed, we look to the stars.673 We embrace tightly knowing that there is a path in front of us that674 will lead us to the happiness.676 "We will be together forever" she says happily.678 "I know..." I say.680 "I know we will be together forever..." I say before kissing her.686 Back to Card Captor Sakura Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction