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     1.4 +Dear Sakura
     1.5 +by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
     1.6 +amazonessduo@hotmail.com
     1.7 +pearsong1954@yahoo.com
     1.8 +
     1.9 +Dear Tomoyo-chan,
    1.10 +
    1.11 +Thank you so much for the beautiful dragonfly pin! I really love it.
    1.12 +It's just like you to pick out such a thoughtful and charming gift. A
    1.13 +job as a designer suits you well, because you have a wonderful
    1.14 +aesthetic. It shows through in so many wys: how you dress, the ways
    1.15 +you wear your hair, and even in your most delightful manner of
    1.16 +conversation. This House has not been so blessed with lovliness since
    1.17 +Sakura first came home as Sayoran's bride. With the two of you here
    1.18 +together under this one roof, it was quite a spectacle of beauty! I
    1.19 +know all here were very thankful to have had the pleasure of your
    1.20 +company during an all too brief stay.
    1.21 +
    1.22 +Please pardon my halting attempts at Japanese. I have been hard at
    1.23 +work on the language ever since Sakura came to live here.. Of course,
    1.24 +I learned the language in college, and sometimes have had recourse to
    1.25 +it at work. But unless one speaks a laguage regularly with a native,
    1.26 +it is difficult to master all of the nuances, yes? Sakura has been
    1.27 +very kindly helping me, and I think she also enjoys conversing in
    1.28 +Japanese now and then. I know it has helped me quite a lot!
    1.29 +
    1.30 +Also, thank you for coming for Sakura's sake. I think she sometimes
    1.31 +gets a little lonely here, so far away from friends and family and
    1.32 +her first home in Tomoeda. After I first saw you, I could understand
    1.33 +why she feels that way! She talks about you all the time lately. She
    1.34 +is quite terribly sad about your departure, but will, I am certain,
    1.35 +treasure the memories of you forever. Tomoyo-chan, she is really very
    1.36 +fond of you. I think perhaps even more than she knows? She is in some
    1.37 +ways a simple girl, and sometimes does not see subtle things. But she
    1.38 +has a marvelously big heart, and it is so full of love. Sometimes I
    1.39 +wonder about certain aspects of the wisdom she has had in marrying my
    1.40 +brother. I love little oniichan very much, but there are times when
    1.41 +one wonders about certain things, yes? Being a boy, he was always
    1.42 +very mysterious to me. I know that he cares for her, but about her
    1.43 +love, well, I am not sure if he quite knows what to do with it all? 
    1.44 +
    1.45 +There is an old saying in China, that a full heart is an empty
    1.46 +heart. What that paradoxical thing means is that the more you love,
    1.47 +the more you yourself need love. That is, the love of a girl like
    1.48 +Sakura is so vast and great, but in turn she also must be loved
    1.49 +greatly. Her heart is big and full of love, but it also needs to be
    1.50 +filled with an equal measure of the precious love of another. I have
    1.51 +sometimes wondered if my brother is capable of such love for his most
    1.52 +gorgeous bride from Japan. Is that a terrible thing for a sister to
    1.53 +say? I am sorry. I am not so subtle as my Mother, a thing she has
    1.54 +reprimanded me forever since I was a very little girl. I tease her
    1.55 +that she never seemed to reprimand me very hard, though, and this is
    1.56 +why I am so outspoken and such an embarrassment to the family. She
    1.57 +says she should have hit me more often, but I know she is kidding.
    1.58 +Anyway, Tomoyo-chan, I think you know what I am talking about here,
    1.59 +because I sense that you, too, have a vast heart that is loving, but
    1.60 +also needs love.
    1.61 +
    1.62 +Oh, please do not think that because I am outspoken I cannot keep a
    1.63 +secret within my heart. I must say in honesty that I thought about
    1.64 +telling someone your true feelings. They say that eyes cannot lie, or
    1.65 +even hide the truth. Anyone who has seen your beautiful eyes, which
    1.66 +are like a stormy sea, azure and deep, knows who heaven has favored
    1.67 +with your love and affection. But even though this fortunate one has
    1.68 +somehow not seen herself, I will not tell her, though in some ways my
    1.69 +heart breaks for both of you. It is like some sad story from long
    1.70 +ago. It is like watching a play, where tragedy is happening, but you
    1.71 +are in the audience and can do nothing. Well, please know that I will
    1.72 +not speak of all this with her. But perhaps, you might consider who
    1.73 +should speak to her about your true feelings? Aiyaaa, there I go
    1.74 +again, being outrageously outspoken. If Mother were here, she would
    1.75 +no doubt rap me most smartly on the head with her fan. And I would no
    1.76 +doubt deserve it!
    1.77 +Well, I most certainly enjoyed your visit. It was a delight and a
    1.78 +pleasure and a blessing to be with you as much as I was, though it
    1.79 +was not as much as I would have liked. Please do consider returning
    1.80 +to our home again someday, provided of course you can bear our
    1.81 +shamefully humble hospitality. I would love to take you out to see
    1.82 +more of the city. 
    1.83 +
    1.84 +Sakura-chan told me you are a most wonderful dancer. I know some
    1.85 +very fun and exciting clubs where one can dance, and forget. Oh, and
    1.86 +perhaps Sakura-chan could come also, yes? Gomenesai, I am very
    1.87 +wicked, for I thought that perhaps she would be too busy to go. But
    1.88 +truly, it would be a joy to see you again, Tomoyo-chan. I pray that
    1.89 +someday I will.
    1.90 +Thank you again for the beautiful pin. It is my treasure.
    1.91 +
    1.92 +Your translator friend in Hong Kong,
    1.93 +
    1.94 +Li Fanren
    1.95 +
    1.96 +
    1.97 +
    1.98 +Dear Fanren-san,
    1.99 +	It was a pleasant surprise to find a letter from you shortly after
   1.100 +Sakura-chan wrote me. And please don’t worry about your Japanese. I
   1.101 +wish I had learned some Chinese when I was younger myself. It sure
   1.102 +would have helped now that Sakura-chan is living in Hong Kong. I was
   1.103 +thoroughly delighted to visit. You have such a wonderful home and I
   1.104 +was very happy to see Sakura-chan once more. You and your sisters are
   1.105 +all extremely beautiful, which you must all get from your mother.
   1.106 +Such a lovely household was very pleasant place to stay during my
   1.107 +visit. I cannot thank you enough for your help, especially during the
   1.108 +banquet. I have gone to several important banquets here in Japan with
   1.109 +my mother, but none as grand as the one at your home. I would have
   1.110 +been completely lost without your help. And not just your help at the
   1.111 +banquet. Talking to you helped me quite a bit as well. Being around
   1.112 +Sakura-chan was a joy, but it toyed with my heart at times. I’ve been
   1.113 +in love with her for so long now. Seeing her like that, married to
   1.114 +your brother, it was very bittersweet. I’m very happy that she
   1.115 +married him. He can keep her safe and love her and give her a child.
   1.116 +But at the same time, I miss her very dearly. My heart will always
   1.117 +belong to her, even if she doesn’t know that. Being near her, loving
   1.118 +her, is the most joyful pain that I know of. I know I can never have
   1.119 +her, that her heart belongs to another, but these days it isn’t as
   1.120 +much comfort as it was when I was a little girl. I think I had
   1.121 +mistaken myself into thinking it would become easier as I grew older. 
   1.122 +	I agree that Sakura-chan must have been lonely before my visit. I
   1.123 +could tell in her letters that she was getting homesick at times. She
   1.124 +was always very close to her family and friends, so it must have been
   1.125 +very painful for her to move away from all of them. I hope that I
   1.126 +managed to help that with my visit. I really want her to feel better.
   1.127 +She has her new family now and it sounds like she’s already making
   1.128 +new friends. She’s a bright spot that other’s can’t help but gather
   1.129 +around. It was the same when she was back here in Tomoeda. I think
   1.130 +Sakura doesn’t quite understand all of her feelings even now. That’s
   1.131 +part of what made it so difficult to leave. I almost ran back to her
   1.132 +waiting arms instead of boarding my plane. But I knew if I couldn’t
   1.133 +leave then, I could never truly leave her life. And I think in the
   1.134 +end, that is the best for both of us. If I quietly fade from her
   1.135 +life, then I will leave the beautiful memories intact, and her
   1.136 +happiness will be assured. She is married to the man she loves and
   1.137 +has a wonderful life. All I can do is ruin that. If she found out my
   1.138 +feelings, she would undoubtedly try to fix things. Sakura-chan always
   1.139 +wants to make things better, especially for those she cares about.
   1.140 +She could never simply reject me, and that would cause problems with
   1.141 +her husband. There is no solution to this problem. She couldn’t fix
   1.142 +things. So I can’t let her know. I had my chance to tell her years
   1.143 +ago. But I never did. And so I don’t think she ever will know. And
   1.144 +that’s probably for the best. If I stay, I don’t think I could
   1.145 +survive. My heart would shatter in its attempts to be near her,
   1.146 +watching her happy life from inside the play. It’s much safer for me
   1.147 +to be in the audience. It always has been. But I can’t do that
   1.148 +anymore. If I stay, I’ll be too close to things. And my heart can’t
   1.149 +bear that anymore.
   1.150 +	‘A full heart is an empty heart’. That is a very wise saying. I
   1.151 +have seen it time and time again. I think that is why I can’t stay.
   1.152 +That’s what makes my heart so brittle the longer I stay in Sakura-
   1.153 +chan’s life. The more you love someone, the more you give of your
   1.154 +heart, the more painful it becomes as your love is left unreturned.
   1.155 +But you can’t force someone to love you. Who you love, who takes the
   1.156 +most important spot in your heart, it seems to be Fate who decides
   1.157 +such things. Our hearts reach out to those that we love, giving them
   1.158 +all that we are. Whether Sakura loves me or not was never something
   1.159 +that mattered in my love for her. I simply do. And if she doesn’t see
   1.160 +my love, then that’s just fine. I only want her to be happy. If the
   1.161 +one you love is happy, then shouldn’t that be the best realization of
   1.162 +your love? Isn’t that what you truly want for them above all else?
   1.163 +Sakura-chan has a very warm, loving heart. I hope that in time, Li-
   1.164 +kun can fill her heart to the brim so that hers will never be empty.
   1.165 +It’s an interesting paradox. The more I love Sakura-chan, the more I
   1.166 +need love myself from the saying’s wisdom. But I cannot have her
   1.167 +love. Nor could I ever quit loving her. For a short time, I actually
   1.168 +considered what you said after the banquet. You are a beautiful
   1.169 +woman, Fanren-san, and very kind and loving. Anyone who manages to
   1.170 +capture your heart in coming years will be very lucky indeed. The
   1.171 +thought of having someone as wonderful as yourself  to hold close and
   1.172 +to weather life’s many storms with was incredibly tempting. And
   1.173 +something I had never dealt with before. My own love life has never
   1.174 +been one of my biggest concerns, so I haven’t devoted much thought to
   1.175 +it. Sakura-chan’s love life was always much more important to me.
   1.176 +Thank you very much for your kind words. They lifted my spirits when
   1.177 +I was starting to stumble. I finally decided that it wouldn’t be fair
   1.178 +to you. My heart is bound to Sakura-chan’s with beautiful red ribbons
   1.179 +that I could not hope to unwind. You deserve someone who can love you
   1.180 +with all of their heart. Thank you again. You have helped me so much.
   1.181 +I am very grateful to have had the chance to know you. On my first
   1.182 +visit to Hong Kong, I was still just a child so we didn’t have much
   1.183 +of a chance to speak. I’m very glad we got to this time. So yes, my
   1.184 +heart is empty as its love is all poured forth to Sakura-chan. But it
   1.185 +seems I can’t have it any other way. 
   1.186 +	Thank you for the kind offer. If you ever find yourself in Tomoeda,
   1.187 +I would be most pleased to take you up on it. I don’t know of as many
   1.188 +clubs around here, but I do know of a wonderful place to dance that
   1.189 +my mother goes to occasionally. Thank you again for everything,
   1.190 +Fanren-san. It’s very nice to have someone to talk to about these
   1.191 +things. And please don’t worry about wanting to tell Sakura-chan how
   1.192 +I feel. I’ve been telling her for years and there have been many
   1.193 +times that I’ve wanted to explain to her what I meant. I hope
   1.194 +everything works out wonderfully for you.
   1.195 +
   1.196 +Forever in your debt, 
   1.197 +Daidouji Tomoyo 
   1.198 +	 
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