1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/ccsnewlyweds.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,783 @@
     1.4 +                         Kero-chan's Newlywed Game
     1.5 +                     As transcribed by Yukito no Miko
     1.6 +
     1.7 +           ------------------------------------------------------
     1.8 +
     1.9 +           Don't look for continuity, plot, or other things of
    1.10 +           that nature. Yes, I know the Newlywed Game is
    1.11 +           supposed to have four couples. I didn't feel like
    1.12 +           adding a fourth.
    1.13 +
    1.14 +           All things Sakura belong to CLAMP and Kodansha,
    1.15 +           though eventually they'll belong to the demon Mixx as
    1.16 +           well. Don't expect me to give them any credit.
    1.17 +           Bastards.
    1.18 +
    1.19 +           ------------------------------------------------------
    1.20 +
    1.21 +           Kero-chan: Konyanyachiwa!! This is a very special
    1.22 +           Kero-chan ni omakase no corner!! We're going to play
    1.23 +           Kero-chan's Newlywed Game, a very fun game invented
    1.24 +           by me, Cerberus! Of course, since I invented it, it'd
    1.25 +           have to be fun, right? I'm so cool! Now, let's meet
    1.26 +           our contestants!! Couple number one, come on down!
    1.27 +
    1.28 +           Yukito: Are? I thought the term was "Go down..."
    1.29 +
    1.30 +           Touya: *o_o*
    1.31 +
    1.32 +           *Yukito and Touya sit down*
    1.33 +
    1.34 +           Kero-chan: o_o;; Err. . . thank you, couple number
    1.35 +           one. Couple number two, come join us!
    1.36 +
    1.37 +           *Sakura and Tomoyo come out and sit down, amidst
    1.38 +           cheers from the yuri fangirls and boys and screams of
    1.39 +           horror from the Sakura/Syaoran fans. Tomoyo pulls out
    1.40 +           a video camera and starts recording*
    1.41 +
    1.42 +           All: ^_^;;
    1.43 +
    1.44 +           Sakura: Tomoyo-chan... this is already being recorded
    1.45 +           by the TV cameras...
    1.46 +
    1.47 +           Tomoyo: I know, but they might focus on someone other
    1.48 +           than Sakura-chan! ^_^
    1.49 +
    1.50 +           Sakura: ^.^;;
    1.51 +
    1.52 +           Kero-chan: Right! Let's put that aside! Couple number
    1.53 +           three, join us!
    1.54 +
    1.55 +           Syaoran: We are not a couple!!!
    1.56 +
    1.57 +           Eriol: Come on, koibito. ^_^
    1.58 +
    1.59 +           Syaoran: I am not your koibito! Let go of me!
    1.60 +
    1.61 +           *Eriol drags Syaoran to the third set of chairs and
    1.62 +           ties Syaoran to one of them, then cheerfully sits in
    1.63 +           the last chair*
    1.64 +
    1.65 +           Syaoran: Rai tei shou rai kyuu kyuu nyo ritsu ryo RAI
    1.66 +           GEKI!! *lightning travels from his sword to the
    1.67 +           chair, frying the ropes. Unfortunately, it also fries
    1.68 +           Syaoran. Eriol takes the opportunity to re-tie him.*
    1.69 +
    1.70 +           Eriol: If you don't wake up, we can't win the contest
    1.71 +           for the most loving newlyweds! ^_^
    1.72 +
    1.73 +           Syaoran: We're not married!!
    1.74 +
    1.75 +           Eriol: Of course we are, anata! ^_^
    1.76 +
    1.77 +           Syaoran: We're not, we're not!!
    1.78 +
    1.79 +           Eriol: Not even for the grand prize? ^_^
    1.80 +
    1.81 +           Syaoran: NO!!
    1.82 +
    1.83 +           Sakura: Ne, Kero-chan, what is the grand prize?
    1.84 +
    1.85 +           Kero-chan: An all-expense paid trip to China!
    1.86 +
    1.87 +           Syaoran: *freezes* You mean... I could finally find
    1.88 +           the Spring of Drowned Boy and end this terrible
    1.89 +           curse?!
    1.90 +
    1.91 +           All: O_o;;;;
    1.92 +
    1.93 +           Syaoran: Never mind... >_> <_<
    1.94 +
    1.95 +           Kero-chan: Err. . . right! Let's put that aside!
    1.96 +           First question is for the men!
    1.97 +
    1.98 +           *silence*
    1.99 +
   1.100 +           Kero-chan: *pause* Hmm. . . I guess that's a bit of a
   1.101 +           problem, isn't it? Okay! People on the left are the
   1.102 +           wives!
   1.103 +
   1.104 +           Eriol: I guess that's you, itoshii. ^_^
   1.105 +
   1.106 +           Syaoran: We're not married!!
   1.107 +
   1.108 +           Yukito: Does this mean you're going to wear a dress
   1.109 +           for me, To-ya? ^_^
   1.110 +
   1.111 +           Touya: . . . . . maybe later. . . . . .
   1.112 +
   1.113 +           Kero-chan: . . . Okay! First question! "What is your
   1.114 +           wife's biggest turn-on?" Couple number one, you can
   1.115 +           start us out!
   1.116 +
   1.117 +           Yukito: Oh, that's easy! It's when I wear my bunny
   1.118 +           suit! ^_^
   1.119 +
   1.120 +           Kero-chan: Wife number one?
   1.121 +
   1.122 +           *Touya holds up sign that says, "When Yuki wears his
   1.123 +           bunny suit."*
   1.124 +
   1.125 +           Kero-chan: Good job! Couple number one has one point!
   1.126 +           Couple number two?
   1.127 +
   1.128 +           Sakura: Umm... recording us--
   1.129 +
   1.130 +           Kero-chan: That's enough of an answer!! Wife number
   1.131 +           two?
   1.132 +
   1.133 +           *Tomoyo holds up a sign that says, "When Sakura-chan
   1.134 +           wears my costumes." Sakura looks crestfallen*
   1.135 +
   1.136 +           Kero-chan: Oh, that's too bad! But we still have lots
   1.137 +           of questions to go, so don't lose hope yet! Couple
   1.138 +           number three, what turns your wife on the most?
   1.139 +
   1.140 +           Eriol: Feathers. ^_^
   1.141 +
   1.142 +           Kero-chan: Wife number three?
   1.143 +
   1.144 +           *Syaoran holds up a sign that says, "I'm not his
   1.145 +           wife. (feathers)"*
   1.146 +
   1.147 +           Kero-chan: Good job! Next question! "Which of
   1.148 +           Sakura's battle costumes is cutest?"
   1.149 +
   1.150 +           Yukito: Her whats?
   1.151 +
   1.152 +           *Touya holds up sign: "Her whats?"*
   1.153 +
   1.154 +           Kero-chan: I guess that counts. . . Couple number one
   1.155 +           has two points! Couple number two?
   1.156 +
   1.157 +           Sakura: All of them.
   1.158 +
   1.159 +           *Tomoyo holds up a sign that reads, "All of them are
   1.160 +           cute when Sakura-chan wears them!"*
   1.161 +
   1.162 +           All: ^_^;;
   1.163 +
   1.164 +           Kero-chan: I guess couple number two has one point!
   1.165 +           But doesn't anyone think my costumes are the cutest?
   1.166 +           Couple number three, what's your answer?
   1.167 +
   1.168 +           Eriol: If I say your costumes, will we get an extra
   1.169 +           point? ^_^
   1.170 +
   1.171 +           Kero-chan: Yes.
   1.172 +
   1.173 +           Sakura: Kero-chan, that's not fair!!
   1.174 +
   1.175 +           Kero-chan: Yeah, well that's why it's my show and not
   1.176 +           yours. Couple number three?
   1.177 +
   1.178 +           Eriol: Kero-chan's costumes. ^_^
   1.179 +
   1.180 +           *Syaoran holds up a sign that says, "The rubber kitty
   1.181 +           suit"*
   1.182 +
   1.183 +           Kero-chan: Well, you got it wrong but you get a point
   1.184 +           anyways! Good job!
   1.185 +
   1.186 +           Eriol: *smirk* ^_^
   1.187 +
   1.188 +           Sakura: *scowl*
   1.189 +
   1.190 +           Kero-chan: Going onto question three, couple number
   1.191 +           one has two points, couple number two has one point,
   1.192 +           and couple number three has two points! Question
   1.193 +           three is "I like a girl who has a sense of humor.
   1.194 +           Tell me your favorite joke."
   1.195 +
   1.196 +           *silence*
   1.197 +
   1.198 +           Kero-chan: Oops! Wrong questions!! Hahahahaha. . .
   1.199 +           *throws cards backstage* The real question number
   1.200 +           three is around here somewhere. . .
   1.201 +
   1.202 +           *Spinel hands him a set of cards*
   1.203 +
   1.204 +           Kero-chan: Thanks! Okay, question number three: "I'm
   1.205 +           a fool and I consort with goat--" HEY!! These aren't
   1.206 +           the questions!!
   1.207 +
   1.208 +           Suppi: *smirk*
   1.209 +
   1.210 +           *Kero-chan digs around backstage and finally comes up
   1.211 +           with some questions, hopefully the right ones*
   1.212 +
   1.213 +           Kero-chan: Okay! I think these are the right ones!
   1.214 +           "If your wife was an alarm clock, how would she wake
   1.215 +           you up?" Couple number one?
   1.216 +
   1.217 +           Yukito: I'm not sure that I want to say it on
   1.218 +           television...
   1.219 +
   1.220 +           Kero-chan: You have to or you don't get the point.
   1.221 +
   1.222 +           *Yukito walks over to Kero-chan and the panel of
   1.223 +           judges and starts whispering to them. Time passes.
   1.224 +           More time passes. Nakuru, the backstage crew, falls
   1.225 +           asleep*
   1.226 +
   1.227 +           Kero-chan: Okay, that's enough. **O_O** Wife number
   1.228 +           one, what did you put?
   1.229 +
   1.230 +           *Touya hands him a thick stack of paper*
   1.231 +
   1.232 +           Kero-chan: What the. . . this is the Starr report!
   1.233 +
   1.234 +           Touya: Stapled underneath is the kama sutra.
   1.235 +
   1.236 +           Kero-chan: ***O_O***
   1.237 +
   1.238 +           Kero-chan: Ahem. Judges, will we accept those
   1.239 +           answers?
   1.240 +
   1.241 +           Terada-sensei: Yeah, I guess so.
   1.242 +
   1.243 +           Kero-chan: What about the other judges?
   1.244 +
   1.245 +           *no answer. Sonomi is still taking notes and Fujitaka
   1.246 +           has his hands over his ears*
   1.247 +
   1.248 +           Fujitaka: You're talking about my SON!!
   1.249 +
   1.250 +           Kero-chan: *sweatdrop* I guess we'll count it, then.
   1.251 +           . . Couple number two?
   1.252 +
   1.253 +           Sakura: She'd let me sleep and record it.
   1.254 +
   1.255 +           Kero-chan: I'm afraid that's not a valid answer.
   1.256 +
   1.257 +           Tomoyo: But that's what I put. . . *holds up sign
   1.258 +           that says, "Let Sakura-chan rest and record her
   1.259 +           sleeping face"*
   1.260 +
   1.261 +           All: ^_^;;
   1.262 +
   1.263 +           Kero-chan: Judges?
   1.264 +
   1.265 +           *the judges confer, with Sonomi doing most of the
   1.266 +           talking*
   1.267 +
   1.268 +           Terada-sensei: She's--
   1.269 +
   1.270 +           Sonomi: WE've.
   1.271 +
   1.272 +           Terada-sensei: We've decided to accept that answer.
   1.273 +
   1.274 +           Sonomi: Good. Couple number three?
   1.275 +
   1.276 +           Kero-chan: Hey, I'm supposed to say that! Couple
   1.277 +           number three?
   1.278 +
   1.279 +           Eriol: If he found me sleeping he'd take the
   1.280 +           opportunity to try and kill me. ^_^
   1.281 +
   1.282 +           Kero-chan: Maybe he's not as dumb as I thought. Well,
   1.283 +           kid? How would you wake him up?
   1.284 +
   1.285 +           *Syaoran holds up a sign that says, "With a mallet"*
   1.286 +
   1.287 +           Kero-chan: We'll accept that answer because I like
   1.288 +           it. Round two after these commercial messages!
   1.289 +
   1.290 +           *silence*
   1.291 +
   1.292 +           Kero-chan: Nakuru! Run the commercials!
   1.293 +
   1.294 +           Nakuru: *wakes up* Hmm?
   1.295 +
   1.296 +           Kero-chan: The commercials, the commercials!!
   1.297 +
   1.298 +           Nakuru: Oh, right!! ^_^
   1.299 +
   1.300 +           Kero-chan: -_-;;
   1.301 +
   1.302 +           *fade to commercial*
   1.303 +
   1.304 +           <eyecatch>
   1.305 +
   1.306 +           ********************
   1.307 +
   1.308 +           Kaho: Hello. Have you been feeling down? Like you
   1.309 +           don't know where your life is going?
   1.310 +
   1.311 +           Yamazaki: *dramatically* How did you know?!
   1.312 +
   1.313 +           Kaho: I know everything. Which is why you should call
   1.314 +           Kaho's Psychic Hotline. We'll tell you your destiny
   1.315 +           in convoluted half-truths that you'll later convince
   1.316 +           yourself were useful predictions and not a waste of
   1.317 +           399 yen a minute.
   1.318 +
   1.319 +           Yue: Kaho told me that my destiny would soon come to
   1.320 +           an impasse. I realize now that she was talking about
   1.321 +           Yukito getting mad when I got with Touya.
   1.322 +
   1.323 +           Ruby Moon: Kaho told me that the inner battle between
   1.324 +           the ying and yang of masculinity and femininity
   1.325 +           causes an imbalance in the psyche. Boy, was she
   1.326 +           right!
   1.327 +
   1.328 +           Kaho: So call today, and spend hours trying to puzzle
   1.329 +           out your destiny!
   1.330 +
   1.331 +           1-800-ASK-KAHO
   1.332 +
   1.333 +           Yamazaki: *even more dramatically* How DOES she DO
   1.334 +           it?!
   1.335 +
   1.336 +           ********************
   1.337 +
   1.338 +           *a blond girl in jeans and a t-shirt with "YnM"
   1.339 +           emblazoned across the chest comes out. Needless to
   1.340 +           say, it's YnM in her one and probably only
   1.341 +           self-insertation ever.*
   1.342 +
   1.343 +           YnM: Hello, everyone. I just wanted to say support me
   1.344 +           in my hostile takeover of the universe. YnM for
   1.345 +           empress. Yay.
   1.346 +
   1.347 +           *walks off*
   1.348 +
   1.349 +           Tamahome: I support her!
   1.350 +
   1.351 +           Duo: That's because she paid you, dude.
   1.352 +
   1.353 +           *fade out*
   1.354 +
   1.355 +           <eyecatch>
   1.356 +
   1.357 +           Kero-chan: Konyanyachiwa!! Have you been brushing
   1.358 +           your teeth? Good! If you haven't your parents might
   1.359 +           not let you keep watching the hit new show,
   1.360 +           Kero-chan's Newlywed Game! We're back with out three
   1.361 +           couples! Now it's time for the wives to answer the
   1.362 +           questions. Our first question is, "What is the
   1.363 +           strangest place you have ever--" *turns red* Who
   1.364 +           worded this?
   1.365 +
   1.366 +           *Nakuru waves*
   1.367 +
   1.368 +           Kero-chan: -_-;; "What is the strangest place you
   1.369 +           have ever *mumbles*
   1.370 +
   1.371 +           Sakura: I didn't even know that was a term for it...
   1.372 +
   1.373 +           Tomoyo: I did.
   1.374 +
   1.375 +           All: ^_^;;
   1.376 +
   1.377 +           Kero-chan: o_o; Husband number one, what do you think
   1.378 +           wife number one put?
   1.379 +
   1.380 +           Touya: *thinks* In King Penguin?
   1.381 +
   1.382 +           Kero-chan: >_< Now that that image is in our heads,
   1.383 +           what did wife number one put?
   1.384 +
   1.385 +           *Yukito holds up a sign that says, "In the meat
   1.386 +           freezer at the supermarket." Everyone who had meat in
   1.387 +           the previous month starts gagging*
   1.388 +
   1.389 +           Yukito: I thought we weren't going to tell anyone
   1.390 +           about King Penguin, To-ya...
   1.391 +
   1.392 +           Touya: We weren't going to tell anyone about the
   1.393 +           freezer thing either.
   1.394 +
   1.395 +           Yukito: Oops... but at least neither of us mentioned
   1.396 +           the--
   1.397 +
   1.398 +        2  *Touya claps a hand over his mouth. Yukito bites him*  6
   1.399 +
   1.400 +           Touya: Ow! Don't do that!
   1.401 +
   1.402 +           Yukito: You started it...
   1.403 +
   1.404 +           Touya: I want you to touch me gently...
   1.405 +
   1.406 +           Yukito: Later, when we're alone.
   1.407 +
   1.408 +           *rose petals blow across the stage*
   1.409 +
   1.410 +           All: o_O;;
   1.411 +
   1.412 +           Kero-chan: Moving onto couple number two... as
   1.413 +           quickly as possible...
   1.414 +
   1.415 +           Tomoyo: Hoeeeee...
   1.416 +
   1.417 +           Kero-chan: What?
   1.418 +
   1.419 +           Tomoyo: That's what Sakura-chan put.
   1.420 +
   1.421 +           *Sakura holds up a sign that simply says, "HOEEEEE!"
   1.422 +           and has a drawing of a furiously blushing Sakura*
   1.423 +
   1.424 +           Kero-chan: Judges, will we accept that answer?
   1.425 +
   1.426 +           *Sonomi and Terada-sensei confer. Fujitaka's still
   1.427 +           covering his ears*
   1.428 +
   1.429 +           Terada-sensei: She says we should.
   1.430 +
   1.431 +           Kero-chan: Next time I want unbiased judges...
   1.432 +
   1.433 +           Sonomi: I'm not biased.
   1.434 +
   1.435 +           Kero-chan: Err... of course not. Let's put that
   1.436 +           aside. Couple number three, dare I ask?
   1.437 +
   1.438 +           Syaoran: *slightly green* We NEVER [censored]!!!
   1.439 +
   1.440 +           Nakuru: Wow, even I didn't know that was a term for
   1.441 +           it.
   1.442 +
   1.443 +           Tomoyo: I did.
   1.444 +
   1.445 +           All: o_o;
   1.446 +
   1.447 +           *Eriol holds up his "He'll deny our many nights of
   1.448 +           passion. ^_^" sign*
   1.449 +
   1.450 +           Sakura: Eriol-kun, you're really good! I bet you make
   1.451 +           your wife very happy!
   1.452 +
   1.453 +           Syaoran: I'm not his wife!!
   1.454 +
   1.455 +           Kero-chan: -_-;; Let's move on to the next question,
   1.456 +           shall we? This one's multiple choice, so we don't
   1.457 +           have to worry about inappropriate answers. "How would
   1.458 +           you describe your honeymoon: Relaxing, Exciting, or
   1.459 +           Boring?"
   1.460 +
   1.461 +           Audience: Ooooooooo...
   1.462 +
   1.463 +           Kero-chan: Couple number one, start us off.
   1.464 +
   1.465 +           Touya: Relaxing.
   1.466 +
   1.467 +           *Yukito's sign: "Relaxing. Very"*
   1.468 +
   1.469 +           Kero-chan: *breaths a sigh of relief* Thanks for not
   1.470 +           elaborat--
   1.471 +
   1.472 +           Yukito: After all, we didn't leave bed all week...
   1.473 +
   1.474 +           Kero-chan: Too much information!
   1.475 +
   1.476 +           Touya: We realized the dangers of the hot tub pretty
   1.477 +           quickly...
   1.478 +
   1.479 +           Kero-chan: *attempts to cover ears* Ack!
   1.480 +
   1.481 +           *Touya and Yukito shrug*
   1.482 +
   1.483 +           Kero-chan: Next! Next!
   1.484 +
   1.485 +           Tomoyo: Exciting.
   1.486 +
   1.487 +           *Sakura holds up a sign with "Exciting" written in
   1.488 +           big letters*
   1.489 +
   1.490 +           Kero-chan: Moving on before you try and explain your
   1.491 +           answer...
   1.492 +
   1.493 +           Sakura: *blushes* It's not like THAT! We traveled
   1.494 +           around and ate lots of oishii cakes and things.
   1.495 +
   1.496 +           Kero-chan: Ack! Too much-- *pause* I guess that's
   1.497 +           okay... *pause again* Without me?! ;_;
   1.498 +
   1.499 +           Sakura: We weren't going to tell you about it...
   1.500 +
   1.501 +           Kero-chan: Couple number three! Please end this
   1.502 +           question!
   1.503 +
   1.504 +           Syaoran: We had no honeymoon because WE'RE NOT
   1.505 +           MARRIED!!!!
   1.506 +
   1.507 +           Eriol holds up his sign, which says, "He'll deny the
   1.508 +           very existence of our honeymoon, including the nights
   1.509 +           of endless pleasure we spent, sweaty bodies
   1.510 +           intertwined--" and brakes off where he ran out of
   1.511 +           room to write*
   1.512 +
   1.513 +           *Syaoran turns bright green and rushes for the
   1.514 +           bathroom. After having lost the better part of his
   1.515 +           lunch, he returns and sits back down*
   1.516 +
   1.517 +           Sakura: Syaoran-kun, why didn't you take that
   1.518 +           opportunity to escape?
   1.519 +
   1.520 +           Syaoran: O_O! <--- didn't think of it
   1.521 +
   1.522 +           *Eriol, by this time, has re-tied him*
   1.523 +
   1.524 +           Syaoran: >:/
   1.525 +
   1.526 +           Eriol: There, there, muffin. They know you just don't
   1.527 +           want to leave my side.
   1.528 +
   1.529 +           Sakura: Yeah, that'd be a good reason.
   1.530 +
   1.531 +           Syaoran: But... but...
   1.532 +
   1.533 +           Eriol: Why else would I risk untiing him so he could
   1.534 +           deal with his morning sickness?
   1.535 +
   1.536 +           Syaoran: Wha...?
   1.537 +
   1.538 +           Tomoyo: *claps hands* Syaoran-kun will make a
   1.539 +           wonderful mother!
   1.540 +
   1.541 +           Syaoran: I'M NOT PREGNANT!!
   1.542 +
   1.543 +           Eriol: If it's a boy we'll name him Clow.
   1.544 +
   1.545 +           Syaoran: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! *passes
   1.546 +           out*
   1.547 +
   1.548 +           Eriol: *pats his hand* There, there, love. *to
   1.549 +           others* His constitution is a bit frail. Please, feel
   1.550 +           free to move onto the next question.
   1.551 +
   1.552 +           Kero-chan: Thanks. Final question: *pause* *shudder*
   1.553 +           "What bedroom fantasy have you acted out that should
   1.554 +           have remained a fantasy?" ...couple number one,
   1.555 +           please answer as briefly and undescriptively as
   1.556 +           possible.
   1.557 +
   1.558 +           Touya: Well, there was this one time when Yuki wanted
   1.559 +           to try it while skydiving-- wait, I want to change my
   1.560 +           answer. When we tried it underwater. He almost
   1.561 +           drowned and there were all these fish staring at
   1.562 +           us...
   1.563 +
   1.564 +           Kero-chan: *begins twitching* No more... no more...
   1.565 +
   1.566 +           Yukito: They're your questions. *holds up sign that
   1.567 +           says simply, "Star Wars"*
   1.568 +
   1.569 +           Touya: That wasn't THAT bad, was it?
   1.570 +
   1.571 +           Yukito: Oh, it was FINE for you. YOU didn't have to
   1.572 +           be Leia.
   1.573 +
   1.574 +           Touya: Gomen ne, Yuki. I didn't know. *clasps
   1.575 +           Yukito's hand*
   1.576 +
   1.577 +           Yukito: *big dewey eyes* To-ya...
   1.578 +
   1.579 +           *they start necking*
   1.580 +
   1.581 +           Audience: Wooooooooooooooooooo!!
   1.582 +
   1.583 +           Kero-chan: Not on the air! Not on the air! This is
   1.584 +           network television!! Couple number two, at least get
   1.585 +           the cameras off them!
   1.586 +
   1.587 +           Tomoyo: Well, one time we used the Clow Cards to--
   1.588 +
   1.589 +           Kero-chan: I think that's enough of an answer.
   1.590 +           Sakura?
   1.591 +
   1.592 +           *Sakura holds up a sign that says "Clow Cards" on it*
   1.593 +
   1.594 +           Kero-chan: Good job, couple number two. That puts you
   1.595 +           up to five points. Couple number one has four points,
   1.596 +           and couple number three has five or six points,
   1.597 +           depending on whether or not they get this one right.
   1.598 +           Couple number three?
   1.599 +
   1.600 +           Syaoran: *slowly regaining consciousness* Bedroom
   1.601 +           fantasies my @$$!!
   1.602 +
   1.603 +           Eriol: Careful, darling. They say babies can hear
   1.604 +           what you say even before they're born. We don't want
   1.605 +           our bundle of joy to grow up with a potty mouth. ^_^
   1.606 +
   1.607 +           Syaoran: WHAT bundle of joy?!
   1.608 +
   1.609 +           Kero-chan: Hey, husband number three! Sign!
   1.610 +
   1.611 +           *Eriol holds up his sign, which quoth, "He'll be too
   1.612 +           embarrassed about how he looked as a meter maid even
   1.613 +           to mention it. ^_^"*
   1.614 +
   1.615 +           Kero-chan: Judges?
   1.616 +
   1.617 +           Fujitaka: I get to decide since I listened to this
   1.618 +           one!
   1.619 +
   1.620 +           *the other judges shrug*
   1.621 +
   1.622 +           Fujitaka: Okay... it counts.
   1.623 +
   1.624 +           *silence*
   1.625 +
   1.626 +           Fujitaka: I don't get applause?
   1.627 +
   1.628 +           All: -_-;;
   1.629 +
   1.630 +           Kero-chan: Now, since that's resolved... Going into
   1.631 +           the bonus round, couple three is in the lead,
   1.632 +           followed by couple two and couple one. The bonus
   1.633 +           question is worth five points, so any of our
   1.634 +           contestants could win. The bonus question is: "If
   1.635 +           your husband had to sum up your sex drive in one
   1.636 +           word, it would be [blank]" *pause* Oh, I can't WAIT
   1.637 +           to hear these answers. *wince*
   1.638 +
   1.639 +           Touya: Slow.
   1.640 +
   1.641 +           Kero-chan: You expect me to believe that after what
   1.642 +           I've heard today?
   1.643 +
   1.644 +           Touya: Well, compared to his...
   1.645 +
   1.646 +           *Yukito holds up a sign that says, "Well, it is kind
   1.647 +           of slow...", which isn't really one word. Did
   1.648 +           everyone catch that? Good! The judges didn't, and
   1.649 +           they got a point anyways*
   1.650 +
   1.651 +           Kero-chan: Couple number one is now in the lead with
   1.652 +           9 points, though that's not conclusive in the least,
   1.653 +           since no one else has answered the bonus question.
   1.654 +           Couple number two, your move.
   1.655 +
   1.656 +           Tomoyo: Creative!
   1.657 +
   1.658 +           *Sakura holds up her sign: "Kinky"*
   1.659 +
   1.660 +           Kero-chan: Judges?
   1.661 +
   1.662 +           *brief but amusing judge conference, which includes
   1.663 +           Sonomi jumping on the table and demanding justice*
   1.664 +
   1.665 +           Kero-chan: Have you reached a decision?
   1.666 +
   1.667 +           Terada-sensei: We'll accept it. *cowers under
   1.668 +           Sonomi's glare*
   1.669 +
   1.670 +           Kero-chan: Okay! Couple number two is now in first
   1.671 +           place! Couple number three, final question, final
   1.672 +           answer. How would your husband sum up your sex drive?
   1.673 +
   1.674 +           Syaoran: When it comes to him, non-existent.
   1.675 +
   1.676 +           *Eriol holds up his sign: "Since he's embarrassed
   1.677 +           about the fact that he likes to [censored] like
   1.678 +           bunnies...*
   1.679 +
   1.680 +           Nakuru: Oooh, more new vocabulary! *writes down*
   1.681 +
   1.682 +           Yukito: Is that a personal remark?
   1.683 +
   1.684 +           *"...he'll pretend that he's as innocent as a
   1.685 +           schoolgirl"*
   1.686 +
   1.687 +           *Everyone looks at Terada-sensei*
   1.688 +
   1.689 +           Terada-sensei: *o_o* Schoolgirl! Right! Innocent!
   1.690 +           *cough cough* That's what he said, all right! That
   1.691 +           answer counts! Moving on, moving on!!
   1.692 +
   1.693 +           Kero-chan: Then, I guess couple number three wins.
   1.694 +           Congratulations, kid, you're going to a fabulous
   1.695 +           second honeymoon in China!
   1.696 +
   1.697 +           Syaoran: But I LIVE in China! How is that a vacation?
   1.698 +
   1.699 +           Announcer (Yamazaki-kun): You've won an all-expense
   1.700 +           paid trip to the beauuuuuutiful land of China, where
   1.701 +           you'll enjoy--
   1.702 +
   1.703 +           Syaoran: Who says I'll enjoy it?!
   1.704 +
   1.705 +           Yamazaki-kun: The announcement.
   1.706 +
   1.707 +           Syaoran: Why should I believe it?
   1.708 +
   1.709 +           Yamazaki-kun: Because it was written by Kaho's
   1.710 +           Psychic Hotline.
   1.711 +
   1.712 +           Syaoran: Really?
   1.713 +
   1.714 +           Yamazaki-kun: Of course! Would I lie to you?
   1.715 +
   1.716 +           Syaoran: Then. . . I guess. . . I should go? *looks
   1.717 +           disgusted*
   1.718 +
   1.719 +           Yamazaki-kun: Of course! Kaho's Psychic Hotline is
   1.720 +           never wrong! You know, psychic hotlines were first
   1.721 +           invented in ancient Greece, when too many people
   1.722 +           wanted to use the Oracle.
   1.723 +
   1.724 +           Syaoran: Really?
   1.725 +
   1.726 +           Chiharu-chan: *twitch twitch* Hey. . .
   1.727 +
   1.728 +           Yamazaki-kun: Time to go! *runs away, followed
   1.729 +           closely by Chiharu-chan*
   1.730 +
   1.731 +           Chiharu-chan: Get back here, you!...
   1.732 +
   1.733 +           Syaoran: I don't know about this...
   1.734 +
   1.735 +           Eriol: Come on, dear. The vacation will relive
   1.736 +           stress, and everyone knows future mothers should
   1.737 +           avoid stress.
   1.738 +
   1.739 +           Syaoran: *grumbles*
   1.740 +
   1.741 +           *Eriol drags him offstage to go catch their plane.
   1.742 +           Touya and Yukito are still sucking face. Nakuru
   1.743 +           throws a blanket over them. Tomoyo is videotaping
   1.744 +           Sakura*
   1.745 +
   1.746 +           Tomoyo: Your sad face is kawaii too!
   1.747 +
   1.748 +           Sakura: ^.^;;
   1.749 +
   1.750 +           Kero-chan: Well, it seems we ended a little earlier
   1.751 +           than expected. But that's okay, because--
   1.752 +
   1.753 +           Meiling: I'll be singing for you! Everyone agrees
   1.754 +           that I have the best singing voice!
   1.755 +
   1.756 +           Kero-chan: That wasn't quite--
   1.757 +
   1.758 +           Meiling: *sings* ~David Duchovny, why won't you love
   1.759 +           me~
   1.760 +
   1.761 +           Kero-chan: Just roll next week's previews.
   1.762 +
   1.763 +           ~~Next time on Kero-chan's Newlywed Game~~
   1.764 +
   1.765 +           Kero-chan: "If you didn't exist and your wife had to
   1.766 +           choose one of these people to marry, who would they
   1.767 +           choose?"
   1.768 +
   1.769 +           *Dr. J and Relena walk out*
   1.770 +
   1.771 +           Duo: *looks nauseated* I think he'd choose Relena...
   1.772 +
   1.773 +           Heero: That's the purpose of the self-destruct
   1.774 +           system.
   1.775 +
   1.776 +           ~~end clip~~
   1.777 +
   1.778 +           Meiling: ~I hold it in as best I can / I know I'm
   1.779 +           just another fan~
   1.780 +
   1.781 +           Kero-chan: See you next week, everyone! Honana!
   1.782 +
   1.783 +           Meiling: ~And I can't wait anymore for him to
   1.784 +           discover me / I've got it bad for David Duchovny!...~
   1.785 +
   1.786 +           *fade out*
   1.787 \ No newline at end of file