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     1.4 +
     1.5 +AUTHOR'S NOTES: First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to read
     1.6 +this. I'm so very glad you bothered! This is my second shoujo ai fic. That
     1.7 +sounds terribly official, doesn't it? ^_^ I'm hoping to keep this under
     1.8 +three chapters, considering how many *other* fics I have going. Please send
     1.9 +feedback if you're so inclined!
    1.10 +
    1.11 +This isn't as dark as 'Conjure Me', and hopefully there's a little humor in
    1.12 +it as well. I can't resist the temptation to play with Tomoyo's head.
    1.13 +*angelic*
    1.14 +
    1.15 +I hope you enjoy!
    1.16 +-Meredith
    1.17 +
    1.18 +Disclaimer: This fic features two women in love. L-O-V-E. ^_~ If you have a
    1.19 +problem with this, please evolve, or at least get out of this fic. Any and
    1.20 +all flames will be summarily laughed at and used to line the gerbil cage.
    1.21 +Remember, bigotry is not a family value.  If you're not allergic to the
    1.22 +aforementioned topic (even the gerbil ^_~), then welcome!
    1.23 +
    1.24 +Rating is PG-13. Light kissing, ect.
    1.25 +
    1.26 +
    1.27 +
    1.28 +============================
    1.29 +It Takes One to Know One 1/?
    1.30 +by Meredith Bronwen Mallory
    1.31 +http://www.demando.net/
    1.32 +mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com
    1.33 +============================
    1.34 +
    1.35 + 
    1.36 + She had never held another girl before; and though she had known what to
    1.37 +expect, the reality of blood fleeing Tomoyo's lithe form was so terrifying
    1.38 +she nearly fell to her knees. Gently, she cradled the young school girl
    1.39 +close to where her heart beat frantically, moving her arm to support
    1.40 +Tomoyo's knees. Now, stumbling backwards, and she pressed her back against
    1.41 +the side of the foot bridge, which was chill with soul of winter. Tomoyo's
    1.42 +eyes were wide and vivid against her pale skin, before they vanished behind
    1.43 +twin fanned lashes and the heiress' body went completely limp.
    1.44 + "Two hundred six and still a lady-killer," remarked a deep voice, filled
    1.45 +with morbid humor. Snow flakes caught in fur the color of the sun, and
    1.46 +melted as if the locks were what their shade suggested.
    1.47 + "Kero!" the woman scolded, the flash in her emerald eyes visible even
    1.48 +through the heavy fall of snow. The white masses moved like waves in the
    1.49 +wind, lapping even so high as her thighs. She held Tomoyo high over the
    1.50 +winter ocean, as one protects holy, precious things.
    1.51 + "I'm sorry," the Seal Beast remarked, the rumble in his throat sincere.
    1.52 +"It's just, there's so much blood. I never saw her body, so  never really
    1.53 +hit me that she was dead. Even after all this time."
    1.54 +
    1.55 + Oh, but *she* had seen Tomoyo dead, and white and in the coffin and damn
    1.56 +it they put her in the ground. Tomoyo's body, just a husk, an empty thing
    1.57 +that was blasphemy because it dare to look like the beautiful girl without
    1.58 +actually being her. There had been no blood, then-- the morticians cleaned
    1.59 +it up-- only the garish, red lines on the corpse's wrists, and the silver
    1.60 +bracelets placed there to hide them. Nothing could be done about her lips--
    1.61 +pale blue from hypothermia, even through the pink lp gloss.
    1.62 +
    1.63 + "She's not going to die," his mistress replied firmly, "I won't allow even
    1.64 +Tomoyo to hurt herself."
    1.65 + "Do you need help, Sakura-sama?" this from another voice, high and silvery
    1.66 +like the the moon on an autumn afternoon.  Yue's pale eyes were narrowed
    1.67 +and focused, he held his wings aloft over his two companions, shielding
    1.68 +them..
    1.69 + "Iie, but thank you. We need to get her inside. Let's go,"  within the
    1.70 +young woman's face, there was a brief flash, like a ghost's photograph, of
    1.71 +a younger, more carefree Sakura. Then, the snow dove in drifts of suicidal
    1.72 +faeries, and the bridge was empty as if no one had ever been.
    1.73 +
    1.74 +
    1.75 +############################
    1.76 +
    1.77 +
    1.78 + To err is human.
    1.79 + 
    1.80 + To really screw up is even more human than that.
    1.81 +
    1.82 + She looked about twenty six, this Sakura; her mouth hovered in a coral
    1.83 +crescent forever between a smile and a frown, and if she let you look
    1.84 +really close, you could see that there was something written and obscured
    1.85 +by the jungle in her eyes. She was tall, this Sakura, and she carried
    1.86 +herself like she knew where she was going, even when she didn't. Her years
    1.87 +numbered two hundred and six; and so many of those years had been
    1.88 +wandering, looking, wanting so badly for something that was gone.
    1.89 +
    1.90 + Eden wasn't paradise until we lost it, after all.
    1.91 +
    1.92 +
    1.93 +############################
    1.94 +
    1.95 +
    1.96 + Tomoyo had planned her suicide. Not the when, but the 'where' and the
    1.97 +'how' and the 'fate-of-my-body', since the 'why' had been laid down years
    1.98 +ago by a glorious Sakura-smile and the realization that she could never
    1.99 +speak what was in her heart. The 'when' was the theta, the renegade
   1.100 +variable that she teased and prodded herself with; 'when' didn't matter,
   1.101 +because she was almost always ready to die. In the bottom drawer of her
   1.102 +dresser, she kept the dress she planned to wear, the ribbons she'd use in
   1.103 +her long tresses, and expensive, pearl-handled letter-opener that was going
   1.104 +to do the trick. She was Cinderella, and the ball was waiting on her.
   1.105 + 
   1.106 + She stayed because she wanted to be by Sakura's side until someone else
   1.107 +came to take her place. Then; just fade to black. Maybe she was a little
   1.108 +scared, and maybe she thought herself a coward for wanting to take that way
   1.109 +out, but certainty in death allowed her to live.
   1.110 +
   1.111 + Yesterday, at nineteen, When had come to her with wide open arms,
   1.112 +whispering that her mother was away and Sakura engaged and... and she had
   1.113 +known it was time.
   1.114 +
   1.115 +
   1.116 +
   1.117 +
   1.118 + She had been sleeping in such a way that, while under the spell of
   1.119 +Morpheus, she could sense and hear and feel the world around her, but she
   1.120 +was trapped in her ivory bones. Now the voices seemed to blur and then
   1.121 +focus. Dark wings fluttered before her eyes until the abstract angles and
   1.122 +colors of the world came into view. She couldn't even be bothered to wonder
   1.123 +why she wasn't dead-- there was something inside her so sensitized to the
   1.124 +other girl that she sensed her beloved's presence almost immediately.
   1.125 + "Do you..." began a voice that sounded like wind chimes in a summer house
   1.126 +filled with the scent of one's lover. Under Tomoyo's blue silver gaze, the
   1.127 +older woman pressed her lips together, and her green eyes said things to
   1.128 +Tomoyo that were just too good to be true. "You do realize this is the
   1.129 +first chance I've had to talk to you in one hundred eighty seven years?
   1.130 +Hoee..." she looked down at her feet, "What I am I supposed to say?"
   1.131 + "Sakura," Tomoyo breathed; taking in the matured vision of her beautiful
   1.132 +best friend. Her hair, done up in her habitual style, was a little longer
   1.133 +and a little darker. Even in the plain cream sweater and black pants that
   1.134 +graced the older woman's lithe form, Tomoyo could sense the barely
   1.135 +contained power of the Cardmistress. "Sakura," she began again, some how
   1.136 +understanding that this woman had been so changed by her experiences that
   1.137 +she was not quite (and only not quite) her childhood friend, "-sama," she
   1.138 +decided firmly. The situation may have been strange, but she accepted
   1.139 +Sakura instantly.
   1.140 + "You can call me Kinomoto-sensei, if it's easier," Sakura offered.
   1.141 + "That makes me think of your father," Tomoyo protested weakly. For the
   1.142 +first time, her eyes moved to the rest f her surroundings. Just her room at
   1.143 +home, with the curtains drawn partially so she could still see the snow
   1.144 +drifting down like lazy flower petals. The lights were on, bright and
   1.145 +somehow tangible; the quilts gathered about her form and Sakura's tender
   1.146 +gaze made her body momentarily forget the chill of being unrequited.
   1.147 + "Kinomoto-kun," Tomoyo tried, blushing just a little, "I have always
   1.148 +thought Sakura-chan would make a cute '-kun'. Li-kun should have addressed
   1.149 +her as such, in the beginning, since they are both magical people."
   1.150 + Kinomoto-kun seemed to darken at the mention of the Chinese boy, but she
   1.151 +laughed, "I'd never thought of that."
   1.152 + "Of course, That Brat doesn't have an once of respect in his body," pipped
   1.153 +a familiar, high Osakan voice.
   1.154 + "Kero-chan!" Tomoyo giggled, taken by surprise as the small, winged
   1.155 +creature dove into her hair.
   1.156 + "It's nice to see you again, Tomoyo-san," Kero said cheerfully. He hovered
   1.157 +near her for a moment, before darting back to the table situated on the
   1.158 +other side of the room. Tomoyo could see Yue had installed his rather
   1.159 +elegant form on the couch, and she nodded in greeting. Her eyes, however,
   1.160 +soon sought the blinding glory of Kinomoto-kun-- she was everything Tomoyo
   1.161 +had known Sakura would grow up to be and more.
   1.162 +
   1.163 +
   1.164 + "Do you think you can eat something?" Kinomoto-kun asked, taking a seat on
   1.165 +the bed and offering Tomoyo a tray of hot soup and warm bread. "I really
   1.166 +think you should but, if you're too weak, you might not keep it down."
   1.167 + "I am a little hungry," the heiress accepted the tray, enchanted by all
   1.168 +the new details and movements of the Cardmistress' future form. "Arigato,
   1.169 +Kinomoto-kun!"
   1.170 + "Tomoyo..." Kinomoto-kun's voice was tender as it moved over the world,
   1.171 +like silk pressed against Tomoyo's skin.
   1.172 + "Hai?" Tomoyo let the spoon rest against the side of the bowl, gazing on
   1.173 +the sorceress with concern, "Is something wrong? I want to help
   1.174 +Kinomoto-kun, if I can."
   1.175 + "Damn it!" the Cardmistress said suddenly, taking Tomoyo's hands gently in
   1.176 +her own and cradling them like baby birds, "You always do this. You do
   1.177 +everything for me and nothing for yourself."
   1.178 + "I want Sakura-chan to be happy," the heiress emphasized, as if that
   1.179 +explained everything. She looked down at her hands, feeling out-of-sorts
   1.180 +without a camera to see the world through.
   1.181 + "Well, I'm not," Kinomoto-kun's tone was firm as she ran a dainty finger
   1.182 +over the bandages on the younger girl's wrist. "I'm not happy, because the
   1.183 +person I love left me."
   1.184 + "Li-kun?" Tomoyo was scandalized. There was a sudden guilt inside her,
   1.185 +swinging like a pendulum, because she had not chosen the correct person for
   1.186 +her Sakura.
   1.187 + Kinomoto-kun leaned in close, until their foreheads touched, "No, Tomoyo.
   1.188 +Watashi wa Tomoyo ga daisuki desu. Aishiteru."
   1.189 + "Watashi ka?" there was a fluttering of live flowers in Tomoyo's rib cage,
   1.190 +as if everything she'd ever known had been drained from her body. "But
   1.191 +Sakura-chan is going to marry Li-kun and live happily in Hong Kong."
   1.192 + "Correction," Kinomoto-kun said dryly, " 'Sakura-chan'," she referenced
   1.193 +her younger self with some malice, "was engaged to marry Li-kun, when her
   1.194 +best friend Tomoyo cut her wrists and, for good measure, drowned herself in
   1.195 +the middle of winter. Sakura-chan was-- and still is-- in love with
   1.196 +Tomoyo," Kinomoto-kun's eyes were all emerald fire, and Tomoyo could not
   1.197 +look away, "but, all her life Sakura-chan had thought that boys went with
   1.198 +girls and so on. She was too stupid to understand how she felt, and too
   1.199 +dense to see the truth even when her best friend put it right in front of
   1.200 +her. So, when Tomoyo died, the world wasn't the same any more, and
   1.201 +everything she touched was like in the fairy tale-- it seemed to turn to
   1.202 +glass and cut her."
   1.203 + "I wasn't trying to hurt you," Tomoyo linked her arms around the
   1.204 +sorceress, but Kinomoto-kun could only see the time before. She rested her
   1.205 +cheek against the heiress' soft lavender hair and stared without seeing
   1.206 +into the snow night beyond the window.
   1.207 + "So Sakura-chan broke off her engagement," she continued, "She went to
   1.208 +college and pretended to be a person. She majored in archeology, since it
   1.209 +made a good excuse, and studied magic in Tibet. She lived so long that
   1.210 +every day was a nightmare, and she worked ten years to perfect a Card and a
   1.211 +spell that would help her change her mistakes." Small tears gathered in the
   1.212 +corners of the sorceress' eyes.
   1.213 + "It hurts me to see you cry," Tomoyo said honestly, taking up a quilt to
   1.214 +ease the sadness seeping from Kinomoto-kun's eyes.  Kinomoto-kun's arms
   1.215 +tighted around her suddenly, and Tomoyo was suffused with a feeling of
   1.216 +wings folded at her back as the other woman rocked her gently.
   1.217 + "You're real... It hurts me to think I never... I didn't...," Kinomoto-kun
   1.218 +took a deep breath, "Why did you give so much to me, when I never gave
   1.219 +anything back?"
   1.220 + "Sakura-chan has always given to me!"
   1.221 + "But not the way you wanted," it was a shrewd point; and for the first
   1.222 +time, Tomoyo felt the dream-like quality vanish from the situation. No
   1.223 +dream or vision would have shown her this.
   1.224 + "No..." she admitted softly, "But I didn't have a right to want those
   1.225 +things."
   1.226 + "Of course you do!" for a moment, just a moment, Kinomoto-kun and
   1.227 +Sakura-chan were the same. "Everyone has a right to love!" Gently, the
   1.228 +sorceress brushed the twilight locks away from Tomoyo's face. Then, to
   1.229 +break the growing intensity, "Your food is getting cold."
   1.230 + "Hai, Kinomoto-kun," Tomoyo obediently took back to sipping her soup, glad
   1.231 +when Kinomoto-kun didn't get up. Instead, the older woman watched her with
   1.232 +careful attention, playing absently with the slighly curling ends of the
   1.233 +younger girl's hair. "Are you sure you couldn't have been happy with
   1.234 +Li-kun?"
   1.235 + "You don't believe me, do you?" Kinomoto-kun shook her head roughly, "Did
   1.236 +you know that I used to sit with him in the darkened movie theater and
   1.237 +wonder if there was something wrong with me because all I wanted to do was
   1.238 +go home and call you? That he practically had to bribe me to kiss him? When
   1.239 +he first said he liked me, I was just excited that *someone* did, since I
   1.240 +thought I had never felt anything. I always got 'hayaaan' when I was with
   1.241 +you, but I was with you all the time, so I didn't notice."
   1.242 + "Sakura...," the sound breezed past Tomoyo's lips, and she so wished she
   1.243 +could see the same look in her friend's  wide pools of green. Coming from
   1.244 +this slightly different Sakura, it didn't seem real.
   1.245 + "It doesn't matter if you still don't believe me," Kinomoto-kun smiled
   1.246 +sadly, tracing lightly down the slope of Tomoyo's nose, "I'm going to
   1.247 +change the past. I wonder how many times Clow did the same, trying to get
   1.248 +things right?"
   1.249 +
   1.250 +
   1.251 + "Three, if I remember correctly," Kero put in. He'd managed to pilfer a
   1.252 +large cake from the Daidouji kitchen and, after lugging his prize upstairs,
   1.253 +was taking a bath in it as Yue looked on with vague disapproval.
   1.254 + "Kero-chan!" Kinomoto-kun scolded, "I put servants to sleep! What will
   1.255 +happen when the cook wakes up and finds her cake gone?"
   1.256 + "I'm not worried," an icing-coated Kero sang, making a flying nose-dive
   1.257 +into the cake, "My wonderful Mistress will get me out of this mess, and I
   1.258 +haven't had a Daidouji cake in almost two bloody centuries!"
   1.259 + "Of course, your 'wonderful mistress' will save you," Kinomoto-kun rolled
   1.260 +her eyes with good nature.
   1.261 + "There's another cake in the back of the freezer, if you want it," Tomoyo
   1.262 +offered, smiling at the sudden chorus of 'wai!!" that struck up from the
   1.263 +other side of the room. Kero offered a paw-full of cake to the winged young
   1.264 +man by his side.
   1.265 + "I hate food," Yue sniffed, "But thank you all the same, Tomoyo-san."
   1.266 + "Isn't there some place you two can go? It's big house," Kinomoto-kun
   1.267 +raised an eyebrow, only half-teasing.
   1.268 + "Hey," Yue pointed out with trace of his own brand of humor, "Someone has
   1.269 +to protect Tomoyo's virtue from certain amorous sorceress."
   1.270 + "Yue, what a thing to say!" Kinomoto-kun turned pink, "HOOOOEEE!"
   1.271 + Added Kero, from somewhere in the mound of cake, "And keep you from doing
   1.272 +any permanent damage to your younger form."
   1.273 + "Chaperones," Kinomoto-kun sighed. The two women blushed and looked at
   1.274 +their hands.
   1.275 +
   1.276 +
   1.277 + Having finished her meal, the young heiress set the tray on her
   1.278 +nightstand, studying Kinomoto-kun with wise, moon-shine eyes.  "Change the
   1.279 +past..." she murmured.
   1.280 + "I really didn't know if I could do it," Kinomoto-kun replied, in answer
   1.281 +to the question Tomoyo hadn't asked. "But... after I found you on..," her
   1.282 +profile turned down, locks of auburn hair obscuring her features, "maybe I
   1.283 +shouldn't talk about this." Tomoyo's soft touch on her shoulder seemed to
   1.284 +bring the words out; "I looked, to see if you'd been reborn. All my
   1.285 +research in Hong Kong and Tibet suggested a great chance of failure in
   1.286 +time-travel, so that was my other hope. When the cards found your new form,
   1.287 +I was elated. You were thirteen, living on the colony on Europa. That's why
   1.288 +it took me so long to find you."
   1.289 + "Europa..." Tomoyo murmured, "It's an ocean moon, ne? Very cold?" Her body
   1.290 +seemed to tense with the memory of the lake and her attempt to meet death.
   1.291 + "Hai," Kinomoto-kun tipped her head back, staring at the ceiling, "You
   1.292 +were in training to dive for the gin-pearls that grow under the icebergs.
   1.293 +But all accounts, you were happy-- designed clothes for your classmates,
   1.294 +sang, worked hard in school. I told myself I just wanted to see if you were
   1.295 +really alright. I was being selfish..."
   1.296 + Breathless, "What happened?"
   1.297 + "I happened," Kinomoto-kun laughed bitterly. "I arranged a meeting with
   1.298 +you easily enough-- I offered to sponsor the school you attended. And there
   1.299 +you were-- your hair was short, but it was you and... I'm a really selfish
   1.300 +person, Tomoyo." Gently, Tomoyo eased the older woman's grip on her hands,
   1.301 +moving so that Kinomoto-kun could rest her head in the heiress' lap.
   1.302 + "You're not selfish," Tomoyo murmured, fascinated by the play of light in
   1.303 +the gold-yellow-topaz-all-over-autumn of Kinomoto-kun's hair.
   1.304 + "I am, because I was so happy to see you, and I promised to help you go to
   1.305 +a good conservatory, cultivate your voice. I felt betrayed that you didn't
   1.306 +recognize me, but I didn't let you see that. I just wanted to be near you
   1.307 +again. Then, when business called me back to Earth-- That is, when I called
   1.308 +to check on you, you'd done it again!"
   1.309 + "Death," Tomoyo may or may not have murmured. And, with sudden
   1.310 +understanding, "She loved you and thought she was... was wrong."
   1.311 + "All because I was so stupid as to come back into your life again."
   1.312 +Kinomoto-kun raised her head, eyes filled with the same desperate affection
   1.313 +Tomoyo hid within herself. "I have to change that. all of this."
   1.314 + "You have," Tomoyo pointed out.
   1.315 + "Not enough. I can't just say, 'Don't give into the sadness, Tomoyo' and
   1.316 +then expect you to wait around for me to figure things out. I thought I
   1.317 +might just vanish after I rescued you, but obviously I haven't changed all
   1.318 +that much."
   1.319 + "I won't leave," it was a breathless promise, "I would never hurt
   1.320 +Sakura-chan."
   1.321 + "But, see, you'll only be doing it out of obligation-- you'll still be
   1.322 +miserable."
   1.323 + "I don't see how--"
   1.324 +
   1.325 +
   1.326 + "Wait." Kinomoto-kun's lips turned up in an almost smile, "listen."
   1.327 +Downstairs, the clicking of the front-door latch echoed, and Tomoyo heard
   1.328 +the faint callings of *her*  Sakura. She started to trill out a happy
   1.329 +reply, but the sorceress at her side raised a single finger, motioning for
   1.330 +silence. Sakura's calls came closer and rose to a level of fear-- the sound
   1.331 +of hurried footsteps vibrated down the hall and then.
   1.332 + A happy, pixie-ish face, and a voice slightly out of breath, "Tomoyo-chan!
   1.333 +I was worried..."
   1.334 + With smile of pity and a little self-loathing, Kinomoto-kun said;
   1.335 + 
   1.336 + "Okari. I've been waiting for you, Sakura-san."
   1.337 + 
   1.338 + 
   1.339 +======================
   1.340 +
   1.341 +TO BE CONTINUED
   1.342 +
   1.343 +There once was a lady named Mere,
   1.344 +Who was madder than a March Hare,
   1.345 +She did love to write,
   1.346 +deep into the night,
   1.347 +and feedback made her so happy she walked upon air!
   1.348 +
   1.349 + 
   1.350 + 
   1.351 + 
   1.352 +
   1.353 + 
   1.354 +
   1.355 +
   1.356 +