Mercurial > moonlitnights
comparison old/stories/dearsakura-12.txt @ 2:fc00894c1d4a moonlitnights
[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
| author | rlm |
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| date | Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500 |
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| 1:dbe144217c71 | 2:fc00894c1d4a |
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| 1 Dear Sakura | |
| 2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P. | |
| 3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com | |
| 4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com | |
| 5 | |
| 6 “I’m sorry I kept you up all night dancing, Tomoyo-chan. I hope | |
| 7 you’re not too tired.” Sakura cast a concerned look as she unlocked | |
| 8 the front door. Tomoyo smiled a cheerful response, | |
| 9 | |
| 10 “Oh, no, Sakura-chan, I feel absolutely wonderful. Thank you for | |
| 11 such a lovely evening, and such a lovely visit.” | |
| 12 | |
| 13 As the door swung open Sakura nodded distractedly and thought, | |
| 14 “That’s right, the visit is almost over now.” She hid her grimace | |
| 15 from Tomoyo and tried to bring her emotions under control. Buffeted | |
| 16 all evening long, swinging between the sheer bliss of being with | |
| 17 Tomoyo and the black despair of knowing she would soon be gone, | |
| 18 Sakura felt sickeningly dizzy. Sakura sensed the turmoil deep within | |
| 19 her stirring again, but sealed it away and ignore it. She didn’t want | |
| 20 to break down again in front of Tomoyo. It wasn’t fair to ruin her | |
| 21 beautiful trip by making her sad. After all, Tomoyo bore the weight | |
| 22 of her secret love without complaint. Rather than trouble the one she | |
| 23 loved, the pale girl chose to silently suffer for the sake of their | |
| 24 happiness. In all their years together, Sakura could never remember a | |
| 25 complaint, an accusation, or an angry question from Tomoyo about the | |
| 26 true love that neglected her so. She carried her pain with an easy | |
| 27 grace, as if it were a burden lighter than a feather. Sakura felt a | |
| 28 flash of anger at whoever it was that ignored her best friend’s love. | |
| 29 How could they be so blind? How could they live in ignorance of that | |
| 30 vibrant, overflowing love? It seemed terribly unfair that someone so | |
| 31 sweet and good should be condemned to a life of loneliness. But never | |
| 32 a word did Tomoyo speak against them, or even about her pain. “Well”, | |
| 33 Sakura resolved, “if she can do it for years, I can do it for a few | |
| 34 hours. Until she leaves.” But that thought brought a new wave of | |
| 35 distress that pushed her to the brink of tears. She glanced at Tomoyo | |
| 36 as they neared the guest room door, then blurted out in a tense voice, | |
| 37 | |
| 38 “Tomoyo-chan, I need to go to my room for a minute, but if you need | |
| 39 help packing…” | |
| 40 | |
| 41 Tomoyo looked at the woman who stood by her and sensed an inner | |
| 42 torment. She longed to be with her for just a few moments more, but | |
| 43 instead smiled and politely replied, | |
| 44 | |
| 45 “I’ll be fine, Sakura-chan. I’m nearly packed as it is. I’ll see you | |
| 46 a little later, then.” Sakura gazed at her with a haunted look, | |
| 47 nodded quickly, and then all but ran down the hall. Tomoyo stood | |
| 48 alone in the dark and trembled. Breathing deeply, she prayed her | |
| 49 heart be still, then opened the door and turned on the light. She | |
| 50 rested her hand on the dark wood of the wall, fingers lightly tracing | |
| 51 the exquisite carvings of birds and flowers. With a little sigh she | |
| 52 pulled her suitcase from the closet and opened it up on the floor. | |
| 53 Raising the lid of the little chest that held her clothing, she | |
| 54 breathed in the sweet scent of cedar. “Cedar is for memory,” she | |
| 55 whispered aloud. Where was that quote from, she wondered? Shaking her | |
| 56 head and smiling, she thought of all the memories she would carry | |
| 57 back to Japan from her wonderful second trip to Hong Kong. | |
| 58 | |
| 59 She packed away the dress she had worn when Sakura greeted her at | |
| 60 the airport, practically bowling her over with enthusiasm. Holding | |
| 61 onto Sakura in that busy throng, she felt as if the rest of the world | |
| 62 had ceased to exist. To see her again after four long months, months | |
| 63 that dragged on like years, had been a dream fulfilled. She carefully | |
| 64 tucked away the gorgeous red cheongsam that Ieran-sama had insisted | |
| 65 she keep. She felt the fine silk and traced the little bumps of | |
| 66 embroidered gold with her fingertip. Tomoyo had earnestly protested | |
| 67 that such a gift was priceless, and she could not possibly accept it. | |
| 68 But Ieran-sama only laughed, and told her that no one could ever look | |
| 69 as good in it as she. On top of the dress in a little plastic bag she | |
| 70 placed a few golden trinkets that had adorned her hair, and | |
| 71 blushingly remembered the look in Fanren’s eyes as she bid her | |
| 72 goodnight after the banquet. Contemplating the gray and black | |
| 73 swimsuit, finally dry on its hanger, Tomoyo giddily recalled swimming | |
| 74 with Sakura. She closed her eyes as her mind echoed with the | |
| 75 sensation of Sakura's firm but gentle arms holding her as they swam | |
| 76 in the warm water. She peeked at her little clock to check the time, | |
| 77 and wondered where her friend was. “Maybe she’s fallen asleep,” | |
| 78 Tomoyo giggled to herself, “I guess even genki Card Mistresses have | |
| 79 to rest sometime.” | |
| 80 | |
| 81 Still, the room felt empty without her, and Tomoyo wished she were | |
| 82 there. Gazing at the clothing in her half-packed suitcase, she | |
| 83 wondered if these memories were truly enough. Can I live with just | |
| 84 memories, but not her? Before this trip she would have replied with a | |
| 85 resounding yes. To have such precious moments to savor would have | |
| 86 seemed a bounty beyond compare. But now, they were pale reminders of | |
| 87 the indescribable joy of simply being with her. She had seen such | |
| 88 wonderful sights on this trip, but none of them compared to sitting | |
| 89 by Sakura and holding her hand. | |
| 90 | |
| 91 Out of the fragrant cedar chest came her cyan nightgown. She held it | |
| 92 up and recalled Sakura brushing her hair with long, sensuous strokes, | |
| 93 delicate fingers lightly caressing her shoulder and neck. She | |
| 94 remembered sitting in the garden, gazing at Sakura’s face glowing in | |
| 95 the moonlight, and how her eyes caught that glow and shone with an | |
| 96 emerald fire. She remembered crying in her arms, the pain and longing | |
| 97 finally too much to bear without tears. And with feverish intensity | |
| 98 she remembered their kiss, her very first kiss, and the flood of | |
| 99 tender, passionate love between them. For an electric instant her | |
| 100 soul joined with Sakura’s in that magical garden under the August | |
| 101 moon. Tomoyo felt Sakura’s love there as never before. It surprised | |
| 102 and delighted her then, and confused and delighted her now. And | |
| 103 sitting on the floor in the guest room, holding that soft cyan | |
| 104 nightgown to her breast, a realization struck Tomoyo with forceful | |
| 105 suddenness: Sakura had changed. | |
| 106 | |
| 107 In all their years growing up together, Sakura had been much the | |
| 108 same as the sweet, genki girl she first met in third grade. True, she | |
| 109 had developed into a beautiful woman, and perhaps was a bit less | |
| 110 hyper as she grew older. But all in all, she was still Sakura. Yet | |
| 111 something now was very different, and Tomoyo searched her heart to | |
| 112 understand just what. There had been hints in the letters and the | |
| 113 phone calls. Sometimes she sensed a loss of confidence, a hesitant | |
| 114 uncertainty. But Sakura had seen her way through moments like that | |
| 115 before, always emerging triumphantly with captured Clow Card, or | |
| 116 husband, in hand. Sometimes in her writing Sakura had seemed sad and | |
| 117 lonely, but surely this was natural as she adjusted to a new life in | |
| 118 a strange city, far away from family and friends. No, it was not | |
| 119 until they sat together in the garden that Tomoyo had really noticed. | |
| 120 Sakura had always liked her, and treasured her as a best friend. But | |
| 121 there, in that garden, the pale woman felt Sakura’s love as never | |
| 122 before. It was not a mere kiss, or a touch, or a glance that was | |
| 123 different, for these were but outward signs. What had changed was her | |
| 124 love. What was once a tender affection was now a passionate longing | |
| 125 that seemingly knew no bounds. Tomoyo felt exhilaration and | |
| 126 apprehension as she realized what had once seemed impossible. Closing | |
| 127 her eyes, she shuddered sweetly at the thought: her love is like my | |
| 128 love. | |
| 129 | |
| 130 Her heart raced as she carefully folded the nightgown and placed it | |
| 131 in the suitcase. Long ago Eriol had remarked on her perceptive | |
| 132 nature, and she knew he was right. She could read hearts as if they | |
| 133 were open books, with all their fragile secrets hers to see. Her kind | |
| 134 and loving nature blended well with this gift, for she would never | |
| 135 bring harm to another, or use her knowledge to manipulate and | |
| 136 control. Sometimes, though, she would gently nudge, or drop a hint, | |
| 137 or help a heart along the path it yearned for. She had seen Sayoran's | |
| 138 love for Sakura bloom like a trembling flower, and helped nurture it | |
| 139 when she realized Sakura's love for the Chinese Sorcerer. Such a | |
| 140 course carried no small onus of pain, but for Sakura's sake she | |
| 141 persevered, and was rewarded with the Card Mistress' joy on her | |
| 142 wedding day. Not that she had seen all of it, of course. But Sakura | |
| 143 was happy, and what else mattered? But then, if she was now happily | |
| 144 married, how to explain her wonderful, baffling love for Tomoyo? | |
| 145 | |
| 146 Gazing out the window of the garden and listening to birds greeting | |
| 147 the morning sun, Tomoyo frowned thoughtfully. At first, she had | |
| 148 dismissed Sakura's love as simple nostalgia for her life in Japan. It | |
| 149 was hard to grow up, to leave behind the easy joys of childhood. But | |
| 150 Sakura's love went far beyond the bounds of anything that Tomoyo had | |
| 151 sensed before. Either it was something entirely new, or something | |
| 152 long buried that had recently been uncovered. What would cause such a | |
| 153 thing? Sakura seemed happy in her marriage, though Sayoran's absence | |
| 154 during her visit seemed odd. Tomoyo was puzzled by the man’s | |
| 155 behavior. How could anyone be married to such a bright and lovely | |
| 156 spirit and not want to be with her all the time? Even the few times | |
| 157 she had seen him around her, he seemed distant, appearing more out of | |
| 158 obligation than choice. Of course, that was Syaoran. He was reserved | |
| 159 and painfully shy. But surely, underneath it all, he loved her. He | |
| 160 had to. How could anyone not love her? Perhaps he loved her, but not | |
| 161 the same way as Tomoyo. But then, could anyone love Sakura the way | |
| 162 she did? That wasn't fair to Sayoran, to compare his love to hers. | |
| 163 Shaking her head, Tomoyo suddenly felt exhausted. With a smile she | |
| 164 thought, "Around her, I'm never tired. She has enough energy for both | |
| 165 of us." | |
| 166 | |
| 167 Tomoyo returned to packing. With a sigh, she gently placed the dress | |
| 168 from her almost-date into the suitcase. Dancing with Sakura! Did it | |
| 169 really happen, or was it just the sweetest of dreams? Holding her | |
| 170 close, swaying softly to the music, feeling the soft warmth of her | |
| 171 body under the shimmering silk. Tomoyo blushed scarlet and hugged | |
| 172 herself tightly. And then, that kiss. Tomoyo's fingers rested lightly | |
| 173 on her lips as she remembered the eager longing of Sakura's sudden | |
| 174 passion. Even the memory of it left her breathless. If I never see | |
| 175 her again, she thought, I’ll always have that kiss. | |
| 176 | |
| 177 With a little sigh, she snapped shut the suitcase and glanced at the | |
| 178 clock. Done, and it’s almost time to leave. Her heart ached with the | |
| 179 finality of it all. But she had resolved that this must be their | |
| 180 final parting. Being together would only lead to pain for them both. | |
| 181 She wondered if she would see Sakura again before leaving, or if | |
| 182 woman had fallen fast asleep. Her heart soared when she heard a light | |
| 183 tapping at the door, and she rushed to open it. In an elated voice | |
| 184 she cried out, “Sakura-chan!” | |
| 185 | |
| 186 She opened the door, and there stood Ieran-sama and Fanren. Hastily | |
| 187 bowing, she felt somehow flustered as the two women entered the room. | |
| 188 As she began her apology, Ieran-sama gently interrupted, | |
| 189 | |
| 190 “I’m certain Sakura-san will be here shortly. Do you need help with | |
| 191 your bags?” | |
| 192 | |
| 193 Tomoyo smiled and shook her head, “No, thank you. I’m all finished | |
| 194 packing now. Oh, but I did have something to give you, if I may.” | |
| 195 Tomoyo took seven perfectly wrapped packages from a little table. One | |
| 196 she gave to Ieran-sama, and one to Fanren. She explained that the | |
| 197 others were for the remaining Li sisters, Syaoran, and Sakura. “They | |
| 198 are nothing special, just little thank-yous for having me here, and | |
| 199 for all of your help and kindness. I’ve had such a wonderful time.” | |
| 200 | |
| 201 Ieran took her package, studying the beautiful wrapping paper and | |
| 202 the intricate bow Tomoyo had tied. She looked at Tomoyo and smiled | |
| 203 warmly as she thanked the young designer, then slipped the package | |
| 204 into the folds of her silken gown. Fanren, with less patience, had | |
| 205 eagerly torn open the wrapping of her own present and was admiring a | |
| 206 beautiful jade pin in the shape of a dragonfly. With child-like glee | |
| 207 she exclaimed, | |
| 208 | |
| 209 “Tomoyo-chan, it’s lovely! Thank you so very much!” With that she | |
| 210 hugged Tomoyo tightly, practically sweeping the slender woman off her | |
| 211 feet. Tomoyo blushed, then smiled and hugged back. Finally, she bowed | |
| 212 and spoke in her musical voice, | |
| 213 | |
| 214 “Thank you again for everything. But perhaps I should finish | |
| 215 dressing before the limousine arrives?” | |
| 216 | |
| 217 Ieran smiled and bowed, then gently tugged on Fanren’s sleeve, | |
| 218 bringing the woman out of her Tomoyo-induced fog. Closing the door, | |
| 219 Ieran turned and walked down the dark hallway. Fanren followed, and | |
| 220 in a rueful voice whispered, | |
| 221 | |
| 222 “Mother, I think I’m in love.” | |
| 223 | |
| 224 Ieran-sama suppressed a grin at her daughter’s half-kidding | |
| 225 confession. Signaling a servant to go help Tomoyo carry her bags, she | |
| 226 wondered to herself, “Who could possibly know that girl and not fall | |
| 227 in love?” | |
| 228 | |
| 229 Tomoyo, dressed in the long, chiffon, copper-russet dress she had | |
| 230 bought at Matsizakaya, waited by the driveway as the limousine pulled | |
| 231 up. She felt a twinge of disappointment as she scanned the house for | |
| 232 Sakura. Looking at the mansion one last time, she entered the | |
| 233 spacious back seat of the limousine and heard a voice shout out, | |
| 234 | |
| 235 “Wait! Tomoyo-chan, don’t go yet!” As a breathless Sakura tumbled | |
| 236 into the car beside her, Tomoyo felt a surge of exhilaration. She | |
| 237 looked at her panting friend and spoke in a merry voice, | |
| 238 | |
| 239 “Sakura-chan, I was afraid you might have fallen asleep.” Then, | |
| 240 noticing the numerous band-aids on her hands, Tomoyo gasped out, “Oh, | |
| 241 Sakura-chan, are you all right? Did you hurt yourself?” Gently took | |
| 242 her friend’s hands in her own and stared at with fearful eyes. | |
| 243 Looking embarrassed, Sakura replied with forced laughter, | |
| 244 | |
| 245 “Oh, hah-hah, it’s nothing, really. Just my usual clumsy self. I’m | |
| 246 fine, really I am.” But despite her protestations, she happily left | |
| 247 her hands in Tomoyo’s. Tomoyo calmed down, but still regarded her | |
| 248 friend with a worried look. Sakura smiled and apologized, | |
| 249 | |
| 250 “I’m sorry I wasn’t with you. But I had to do something before you | |
| 251 left. Oh, and Ieran-sama wanted me to give you this.” Sakura gave her | |
| 252 a small package, which Tomoyo slipped into her carry-on bag. Sakura | |
| 253 slumped back into the plush seat of the limousine, still holding her | |
| 254 hand. With a gentle squeeze, Tomoyo spoke in a cheery voice, | |
| 255 | |
| 256 “It’s all right, Sakura-chan. I’m just happy you’re here now. Thank | |
| 257 you so much for having me. It was the most wonderful vacation I could | |
| 258 ever have had.” | |
| 259 | |
| 260 Sakura gazed back, smiling, brushing away her auburn hair with | |
| 261 bandaged fingers. With a happy sigh, she replied, | |
| 262 | |
| 263 “This was the most wonderful time I’ve ever had, Tomoyo-chan. But | |
| 264 the best thing about it was just being with you.” | |
| 265 | |
| 266 Tomoyo felt a warm glow in her heart as Sakura spoke. Her voice | |
| 267 masked her emotions as she spoke again liltingly, “I’m sure Sakura- | |
| 268 chan will have many more wonderful times in all the magical years to | |
| 269 come.” For several minutes there was only silence as the limousine | |
| 270 snaked it’s way through the heavy traffic. The pale woman felt the | |
| 271 grip on her hand tighten, and sensed her companion’s edginess. | |
| 272 Finally, Sakura spoke up in a quiet voice, | |
| 273 | |
| 274 “Tomoyo-chan, I hope you’ll be able to come again sometime. Sometime | |
| 275 soon.” | |
| 276 | |
| 277 Tomoyo felt a chill as she thought, no, please Sakura, please don’t. | |
| 278 We can’t. Staring straight ahead, she responded with forced | |
| 279 casualness, | |
| 280 | |
| 281 “I hope so, too.” | |
| 282 | |
| 283 Silence. Sakura turned and looked out the window at the city | |
| 284 skyline, or the other cars, or perhaps nothing much at all. In a | |
| 285 hesitant, whispery voice she asked, | |
| 286 | |
| 287 “When do you think you might be able to come again?” | |
| 288 | |
| 289 “Sakura-chan, I’m really not sure. It will be busy before the | |
| 290 Christmas season, and then there are all the projects for the New | |
| 291 Year, and….” | |
| 292 | |
| 293 Her voice trailed away as she fought back the tears. It sounded so | |
| 294 awful, as if her work was more important than Sakura. How could she | |
| 295 say such a thing? But she couldn’t do this again, she just couldn’t. | |
| 296 Seeing Sakura was tearing her soul apart, and could ruin Sakura’s | |
| 297 marriage and beautiful new life. For Sakura’s sake, and her own, she | |
| 298 had to say good-bye. She had to. Tomoyo turned to the window and | |
| 299 choked back a sob. Then she felt Sakura squeeze her hand tightly, and | |
| 300 heard a wistful voice, | |
| 301 | |
| 302 “It’s all right Tomoyo-chan, I understand. I’m sorry. I know that | |
| 303 we’ll be together again someday.” | |
| 304 | |
| 305 As the limousine pulled up to the airport’s departing area, Tomoyo | |
| 306 felt queasy and weak. She didn’t want to end her trip like this. She | |
| 307 didn’t want this to be the final memory seared into her heart. But | |
| 308 her masks were lost, and the words wouldn’t come. It was all she | |
| 309 could do to keep from crying. Then she heard a voice, genki and | |
| 310 strong, that filled the cold parts of her with summer sunshine, | |
| 311 | |
| 312 “We’re here, Tomoyo-chan. Come on, you don’t want to miss your | |
| 313 flight!” | |
| 314 | |
| 315 Startled, she turned around and saw Sakura’s bright, beaming smile. | |
| 316 Relieved, she smiled back, and the two rushed hand-in-hand down the | |
| 317 JAL concourse. Arriving at the gate, Sakura bowed and spoke in a | |
| 318 voice that was happy and sad all at once, | |
| 319 | |
| 320 “Arigato gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan. I was so happy to see you again. | |
| 321 Have a wonderful flight back, and give my love to your Mother.” | |
| 322 | |
| 323 Tomoyo bowed and resisted the urge to embrace her beautiful friend, | |
| 324 “Arigato gozaimasu, Sakura-chan. Thank you for everything. Sayonara.” | |
| 325 | |
| 326 As she turned reluctantly to go, she heard a whispery voice calling | |
| 327 her back, “Tomoyo-chan. Please.” | |
| 328 | |
| 329 She turned and saw Sakura with her head bowed, offering a hastily | |
| 330 wrapped package tied with lavender ribbons. Her voice brimming with | |
| 331 emotion, Sakura said, | |
| 332 | |
| 333 “Tomoyo-chan, I’ve felt so bad for so long that you were never able | |
| 334 to have this from your special someone. I’m sorry it’s not very good. | |
| 335 I’m not very good at sewing, and I was sort of in a rush. I know your | |
| 336 true love, if he knew, would do so much better. But since he can’t, I | |
| 337 wanted to give you this from him.” | |
| 338 | |
| 339 Stunned, Tomoyo stood motionless. Finally, she reached out and took | |
| 340 the soft package from Sakura’s trembling hands. Then she took the | |
| 341 woman into her arms, her own tears flowing freely. Holding one | |
| 342 another, the two friends clung together in their own world of grief | |
| 343 and joy. Tomoyo desperately wanted to speak, to tell Sakura just how | |
| 344 much she really loved her. But it would be too cruel, so she wept in | |
| 345 silence. Finally, Sakura whispered raggedly, | |
| 346 | |
| 347 “Tomoyo-chan, you…you don’t want to miss your flight.” | |
| 348 | |
| 349 Tomoyo slowly let go, though she yearned to hold her just a little | |
| 350 bit longer. Instead, she spoke in a voice that sounded so very far | |
| 351 away, “Hai. Sayonara, Sakura-chan.” She moved away and turned to go, | |
| 352 forcing every step that took her farther and farther away from her | |
| 353 one, true love. She glanced back and saw Sakura, smiling through a | |
| 354 tear-streaked face, waving goodbye. Tomoyo paused, hesitant, her | |
| 355 heart pounding wildly. She nearly ran back to those gentle arms, but | |
| 356 instead rushed down the boarding ramp, fumbling for her ticket in a | |
| 357 haze of tears. | |
| 358 | |
| 359 Sakura watched her go, then walked to a picture window overlooking | |
| 360 the runway. Somehow, she made it until Tomoyo was gone. She stood in | |
| 361 shock as the boarding ramp slowly swung away from Tomoyo’s plane. | |
| 362 Dimly she heard the engines roar to life. Pressing her face against | |
| 363 the glass, she whimpered like a forgotten child, “Please don’t go. | |
| 364 Please, Tomoyo-chan. Please don’t go.” | |
| 365 | |
| 366 As if in a dream, the enormous jet slowly began to pull away. Sakura | |
| 367 gazed up at the blue sky and whispered, “In a few minutes she’ll be | |
| 368 there, in a beautiful place in the sky.” The odd words echoed in her | |
| 369 head, and suddenly a deluge of memories burst upon her: a little | |
| 370 child sobbing in bed, a frighteningly empty chair at a dinning table, | |
| 371 and a brother, her brother, quietly explaining, | |
| 372 | |
| 373 “She’s up there now, in a beautiful place in the sky.” | |
| 374 | |
| 375 Slowly shaking her head, Sakura moaned softly and began to cry | |
| 376 again. Her brave front finally collapsed in a torrent of weeping as | |
| 377 she covered her face with bandaged hands. Heads turned to the wailing | |
| 378 young woman who sobbed hysterically and staggered into the Ladies’ | |
| 379 Room. Her hapless cries reverberated as Tomoyo’s plane, aloft at | |
| 380 last, gained altitude for the long flight home. | |
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