moonlitnights: old/stories/conjure.txt comparison

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author	rlm
date	Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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-:dbe144217c71
+:fc00894c1d4a
+---------------------------------------------
+Conjure Me 1/1
+by Meredith Bronwen Mallory
+mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com
+---------------------------------------------
+DECEMBER 5th 2009
+They walked hand in hand; though hers was cold as ice to him and she found
+his to be uncomfortably sweaty. Heat rising from a swamp, ready to smother.
+Her hands were strong, well formed and colored like light brushing against
+a peach. Capable. Somehow, Sakura felt all that go away, when he wrapped
+his calloused fingers around her hand; she thought perhaps he was drawing
+the magic out of her, a little bit at a time. That was silly, of course;
+they were just holding hands. Boyfriend and girlfriend, walking out under
+the cold winter stars as their breaths released in little clouds. Snow
+whirled about, caught in her auburn hair and pressed against her red coat
+with the golden buttons. She laughed and, taking the opportunity to
+disengage her hand, ran ahead, twirling when she reached a fork in the
+path. Head tilted back, she opened her mouth like a child waiting for a
+spoonful of powered sugar. The moon was a pale sliver, the delicate
+crescent of a fingertip.
+Tomoyo blazed before her eyes, an inadvertent thought, but somehow more
+real. The moon was a bright distant point of light in her best friendšs fey
+eyes. She thought about last night, Tomoyošs soft, cool hand in Sakurašs
+own, smiling as they turned and turned, making the world move on their own
+axis. Then, rather than falling apart, they had pulled together and sunken
+to their knees in the soft snow. Hands coming together, Tomoyošs face
+pillowed on Sakurašs shoulder. And then, for some reason, Sakura buried her
+face in her best friendšs hair, lost in an endless river of ebony and
+violet.
+łHoe,˛ a soft, incredulous breath, coming in time with the color rising to
+her cheeks. She realized belatedly that she had been standing still for
+quite some time, and now Syaoran stood ahead of her waiting. Flashing him
+an apologetic smile, she hurried to catch up. A cloud draped itself over
+the moon, making the shapes in the park less familiar. When Sakura was
+close enough, Syaoran took her hand again.
+łLetšs do something different tonight,˛ Syaoran suggested, turning to
+Sakura with eyes that looked empty in the moonlight.
+łNani? What do you mean?˛ absently, she looked at her watch. The hand and
+shadow fell to nine ošclock.
+łI donšt know,˛ he said in a tone that meant he did, łDo you want to come
+to my apartment? You could  call your dad, tell him youšll be a little
+late.˛ There was something, something in her chest, dark and slithering.
+She didnšt know what it was.
+łAlright,˛ her voice was quiet. They continued in a different direction,
+still holding hands.
+She was sixteen years old.
+~
+Tomoyo walked carefully in the snow, feeling transported. Trees rose
+against the star-filled sky, looking like twisted, polished question marks.
+Not even the lights of the city could change the strange, alien feeling
+that dipped like a scythe against her ribs. The people sharing the sidewalk
+seemed somehow more removed, colorless almost,  though she told herself
+that was only her loneliness seeping through. It bled like that, spreading
+outward like a flower, anti-survival, pulling thorns inward. Shivering,
+Tomoyo pulled her coat and moon-spangled scarf closer. Her dress, long and
+red velvet, brushed against the backs of her legs, in time with the soft
+click of her shoes. That was the rhythm, sudden and very overwheliming:
+click - clack, click- clack, click - clack. Up beat, down beat. She paused,
+oblivious to the pedestrians that pushed around her. Slim, china-white
+fingers pressed against her temples, massaging there for a moment before
+she continued onward. She thought about Sakura; Sakurašs hair sliding
+through the brush, Sakurašs slim shoulders encased in green that matched
+her eyes. Sakura, smiling, saying she had a date with Syaoran tonight, but
+tomorrow she would take Tomoyo down town and theyšd have fun shopping.
+Yesterday with Sakura, walking through a corridor of ebony trees, snow
+dripping off their branches like strings of glass beads. They had not
+seemed like question marks then, but rather totems raised for Sakura,
+supporting a palace that had never been built. The wind had moved around
+the two of them like a river current, rising against Tomoyošs cheek bones--
+a longed-for touch-- pushing the clouds across the moon and then away
+again. Sakura had turned towards Tomoyo, smiling, her emerald eyes like the
+depths of the ocean in the darkness. Glory had pushed up through Tomoyo
+then, sung in her veins, and as always there was no where for it to go. It
+cycled through her, refined each time it passed through her heart, the same
+as the blood in her veins. Her throat tightened miserably, all the words
+that tangled there seemed stupid and inexpressive. Shešd searched Sakurašs
+face for understanding, some hint of... there were no words for what she
+was looking for. Her hands had gripped Sakurašs and then, by some unspoken
+agreement, they began to turn, round and round, never getting anywhere, but
+pulling in towards each other. When they fell to the ground, Tomoyo had
+laid her head on her friendšs shoulder, gripping the other girlšs coat with
+hands that felt like they would break.
+Shešd said, łSakura...˛
+łSilly, jealous girl,˛ she murmured to herself.  She forced herself to see
+Sakura, happy and smiling on her wedding day, veil thrown over her face
+like whatever it was that kept her from seeing the truth.  Syaoran would
+stand just-so beside her, not smiling because he never smiled, but still
+looking like he was happy, looking like he would take care of Sakura. And
+herself, somewhere in the background; the one who organized everything, the
+one who wiped tears off Sakura's face when she said she was scared and
+didn't know if she could go through with the wedding. Always, Tomoyo held
+this vision out to herself, but whether it was a promise or a threat even
+she didn't know. Presently, the wind pushed the snow against her in a gush,
+like the tiny frozen wings of butterflies. Tomoyo breathed deeply, and the
+pinch of the scythe became just a little bit stronger.
+~
+Her coat was tossed haphazardly in the easy chair, her shoes --black
+patenleather with dainty straps-- sat patiently like twin dogs beside
+Syaoran's thick sneakers. Sakura saw none of these things, but later she
+would remember the placement of everything in the room as one remembers the
+stillness of the world before a tornado. She waited for the windows to blow
+inward, glass shards like knives ready to cut to the quick. Instead, the
+color simply drained from the room; no more blue sofa, brown coffee-table,
+green carpet, black-yellow-brown-blue-red pictures of relatives from China.
+Only Syaoran's hands retained their color, looking somehow like menacing
+claws as they hang suspended before her chest.
+"Ano..." he said, and his hands shook with the words. She realized she
+hadn't been looking at his face. How strange this felt, like someone else's
+life. He wanted her to say something, but there didn't seem to be anything
+inside her anymore-- not even a voice. Wasn't she supposed to feel like she
+was flying, like she was going to come apart if he didn't touch her and
+kiss her? Wasn't that in all the movies and the books and the pictures of
+pretty shoujo heroines in the final panels of manga? This was it, the rose
+petals would fall across the screen, the hero and heroine would tumble
+gracefully onto the bed, like dancers. Perhaps, she thought, it takes a
+little while to build up. So she lifted her lips like she did when she
+smiled and nodded her head. He moved his fingers to the neckline of her
+dress-- the pink one with the red ribbons that Tomoyo had made-- and
+carefully slipped a button loose while he made a little breathy noise that
+sounded like "Sakura" or the brush of dried leaves on cold stone.
+Tomoyo had laid her head on Sakura's shoulder, lips pressed into Sakura's
+scarf as she breathed words there. There was something rhythmic to it, an
+ancient chant, and Tomoyo's body had moved with it, arms snaking around
+Sakura's waist.
+"Daijobu?" Sakura could not remember asking the question, but a small
+flower of warm air bloomed in the cold, and Tomoyo's body stiffened, so she
+must have said something like that.
+"I want to tell you something," Tomoyo had said, "I want to..." Her breath
+had shuddered, even as Sakura stroked her hair, "but I can't."
+"Naze?" a little broken word. Tomoyo slipped gracefully from Sakura's
+arms, her violet-ebony hair falling about her like folded wings. She smiled
+and it looked painful, and her body was like something that could not be
+held. Fragility. There was steel underneath, though; it was the color of
+Tomoyo's eyes. She offered her hand, white as the moon on snow, and helped
+Sakura stand.
+One of them said, "let's go get something to eat"; as if nothing had
+happened.
+Now they were moving towards the bedroom, Syaoran lifting Sakura into his
+arms. Her legs were polished and long-- too long, apparently-- and she had
+a hard time shifting her weight against Syaoran's chest. He was down to his
+boxers, she clad only in the creamy silk shift with its lace of growing,
+virginal flowers.
+~
+Tomoyo tested out a smile, looking at the reflection of her face in the
+display window. Behind her ethereal image, there cookies, pies and delicate
+pastries, festive and brightly lit. The smile faltered, then died
+altogether as Tomoyo attempted to brush away the warm image that rose like
+a seductress from a bed of silk. Her mind held out the possibility,
+impossibility, of a table spanned with candles and good food, set before
+herself and Sakura as they reclined in one another's arms. Her mask
+crumbled momentarily, her mouth pouted and her eyes closed to hold back
+tears, but it was gone so quickly that Tomoyo was able to tell herself it
+hadn't happened. Her heart fluttered weakly within its cage, its protests
+lost as she pushed the thoughts from her mind. Things that happened without
+Sakura were in parentheses, and there for didn't count. Instead, Tomoyo
+turned on her heel and headed into the shop, entering with the cold breeze
+as her fanfare. She didn't even noticed as her blood ebbed more slowly in
+her veins.
+~
+It took only three of Syaoran's heavy steps down the hallway and they were
+there, poised in the threshold of his room. She tried to smile up at him,
+but he wasn't even looking at her, and when he tried to move he ended up
+ramming her hip into the doorframe. Now he was looking at her, lukewarm
+brown eyes narrowing in concern. Sakura bit her lip so hard she tasted her
+own bitter wine, but muttered a 'don't worry' to his apology. He put her
+down on the bed, moving her legs so that they were uncrossed, situating her
+like a china doll. His hands, big, calloused and sweaty, reached for the
+hem of her slip, lifting it ever so slightly before she cried out.
+~
+"Can I get you something, miss?"
+"Just a cup of tea, with honey, and..." Tomoyo raised her hand
+instinctively to cover her mouth, then coughed delicately into the white
+fabric on her palm. She put her hand down quickly, "and a few of those
+chocolate chip cookies." The tea was in a little china cup lined with gold,
+the cookies laid on a paper doily; three of them. Syaoran and Sakura and
+Tomoyo. She carried them carefully to a little round table, crossing her
+legs as she sat, trying to quell another cough. Raising the cup to her
+lips, she thought of a dress design like poetry, seams fitting together in
+careful black, green and gold, silently complimenting the depths of
+Sakura's shadowed, jungle eyes. Another idea swept away the last, this time
+a great embroidered gold dragon curling about Sakura's neck line. The
+images were vivid, making her fingers itch, so that Tomoyo did not see the
+blood she coughed up into her glove.
+~
+Syaoran's eyes were narrowed until it looked like he couldn't see anything
+at all, but Sakura kept her face determined and her hands hard as she
+loosened his grip on the slip.
+"Something wrong?" His words were blunt, cutting.
+"Iie..," Sakura shook her fire-brown locks, "but we can do..." there were
+words for it, of course, but she somehow couldn't bring herself to use any
+of them, "without taking this off."
+"Alright," he said, and she smiled because she somehow wanted to protect
+herself from him. In the next moment, she turned her lips down, remembering
+the long monologues of praise in the romance novels-- how the heroine
+wanted her man to have everything of her, that she wanted to share with
+him, her whole self. She couldn't hold onto it, any of it, so detached was
+she. Syaoran took off his boxers, dropping them beside the bed; she slipped
+off her underwear then tossed them, trying to be decadent, to celebrate her
+loss, and the white scrap of cloth flew through the air like a kamikaze
+bird.
+'Someone', Tomoyo thought suddenly, wildly, 'is ripping me open and sewing
+me back up'. An ill tide rose in her being, so swift and powerful that all
+at once she couldn't remember what it was like to not have pain. There was
+pain, everywhere, the bright, functional needles of a sewing machine.
+His breathing was the sound of metal on metal, sword on sword. Sakura
+moved backwards, feeling the pillows pressing into her back, hands offering
+her up for sacrifice. Syaoran's nails were rough on her skin, cutting
+without leaving a mark. Now the pillows would give way no more and her head
+was pressed against the merciless wall. She had a sudden, insane image of
+her mother like this: cornered and crying inside.
+"This isn't it," Sakura imaged her saying, her long hair moving to cover
+her body in vain, "this isn't, isn't it."
+She was being pressed in the gears, drawn out like a piece of thread and
+pinned down again and again. Tomoyo's pretty, gloved hands rose, like the
+fluttering of doves wings, to touch her burning cheeks. She felt the damp
+palm of her right fingers, looked down to see them colored in red. As if
+Sakura had kissed them with lipstick, her traitorous mind supplied. A sound
+devoid of happiness burst from Tomoyo's lungs; she laughed because she knew
+she was dying, knew that Sakura would never touch her and now and forever
+there was really no chance. Strange, how she'd never really admitted it.
+Sakura said the words, over and over; "this isn't it, this isn't it". They
+were heavy on her tongue and quick to fly, she was crying without shedding
+any tears.
+Syaoran said, "I'm not going to hurt you." As if he hadn't already.
+Tomoyo's laugh rose, filled the small cafe until she felt the gazes of
+strangers slithering over her body. Biting down on her lip and swallowing
+her voice, she tasted her own blood and a touch of the ocean. Salt water;
+her tears. Fingers, stained and trembling felt against her face as though
+she was a blind woman. The world blurred and blurred with her pain (God,
+she didn't even know what was happening), and at last the beating of her
+lungs forced her to open her mouth. Tomoyo coughed, and blood fell from her
+lips like grotesque rain.
+Now the glass did break; windows pushing inward like bubbles released from
+a child's summer hand. The shards flew wildly, vengeful faeries, and Sakura
+reared back, watching Syaoran lift his arms in defense. She slipped past
+him like she was made of nothing.
+"Tomoyo," she whispered, so pained that she could not remember ever having
+happiness. The new red kisses of blood on her skin and the crimson river
+falling between her legs did not concern her, instead she raised her hands
+to hold the emptiness tearing through her body like a tiger; she looked in
+Syaoran's dull brown eyes and saw fear there.
+'You!' she wanted to scream, to pour accusation on him, but Sakura was too
+full of her own sick guilt to blame anyone else. Instead, she turned and
+fled, silken camisole moving against her body like a dozen concerned hands.
+Down the stairs, her bare fee pounding mercilessly until they were too numb
+to feel the cold as she ran into the winter night. It was as if someone had
+taken her hands, was leading her, and indeed she ran with them
+outstretched, ignorant of her final destination. The star-key dropped
+against her chest in time with her heart beat, ringing against her ribcage
+with finality. Then her hand was on a cold metal bar-- she was pushing open
+a glass door and hurrying into a place filled with bright lights and the
+sound of Tomoyo dying. Pushing through the crowd with hands that chilled
+all she moved aside, Sakura saw her best friend laid out of the blue and
+gold and white pattern tile, a sprawled and broken china doll. She was on
+her knees without thinking about it, Tomoyo's pale form closed within her
+arms. The still girl stirred, turning her wide snow-touched star-light eyes
+on the Card mistress,  and Sakura almost cried; for Tomoyo's face was
+filled with joy at seeing her.
+"Sa..." Tomoyo's labored breathing swallowed the rest of the sound. Her
+eyes slipped closed momentarily as sheer red flowed to her lips. They were
+in a sea of red, Sakura realized, their blood mingling and staining
+everything around them.
+"Tomoyo-chan," Sakura managed, holding the other girl's delicate fingers.
+"Don't die," she said the dark-haired girl's name over and over again, as
+if the chant could call her back into her body. "I'm so sorry. I was trying
+to be something I'm not...," Sakura breathed in her tears until her throat
+hurt with them, "Forgive me, I'll make it up to you."
+"I told you to," Tomoyo's smile was pale as coral, but it was real; the
+pieces of Sakura's heart dove in their own suicide to realize just how much
+of a facade her friend's happiness had been. In death's gentle embrace, her
+eyes were filled with unconditional love, "I said to Sakura-chan, 'Li-kun
+loves you'. It's my fault." The words buried themselves in Sakura-- it was
+the truth when neither of them knew it. Tomoyo's soft, cool hand was
+against Sakura's cheek, and then tracing softly over her lips. "And I," she
+managed to raise her head, lips so close to her friend that he Card
+mistress more felt the confession than heard it;
+"And I love Sakura."
+==============
+DECEMBER 6th 2009
+It was snowing again, falling through the window and collecting in
+Sakura's lap. She knelt in her pajamas on the window seat, watching the
+moon move through the clouds and feeling the cold slowly work is way into
+her veins. The light behind her was dim, coloring her room a brown antique
+photo; and the shadows seemed to move when they thought she wasn't looking.
+"Sakura," Cerberus' two fine saber teeth lodged in her shirt, trying to
+pull her away from the window; she only loosened his grip and absently
+stroked his golden coat, barely registering sensation. A soft knock at the
+door; no response, then a shaft of light annihilating the darkness.
+"Imouto-chan..." this from another voice, and Sakura raised her head just
+barely to meet her brother's gaze. Touya held the phone in his hand,
+towards her and away from him. "It's Sonomi-san. She wants to talk to you."
+Sakura allowed the phone to be placed in her still hands, her green eyes
+like emerald windows that had been pulled tightly closed against the world.
+"Ano..." Touya said, "Syaoran was here, earlier. I told him to come back
+later."
+For a moment, Sakura moved her lips without sound, before her voice
+sounded like the high string on a cello-- sweet, but strangely low. "When
+he comes again," she seemed ageless, eternity shivering by the window,
+"tell him he knows why I will not see him, and shall never see him again.
+Tell him I give him no blame, that it is not his fault. Tell him, also, to
+go home and marry Meiling, that he might keep his honor and make her
+happy." She turned her hand away, gazing at he bright round buttons of the
+telephone, before raising it to her ear. Touya stood for a moment, stunned
+by the chill in his little sister's eyes and voice, before pressing his
+wide hand against her shoulder and retreating.
+For a moment, there was only breathing on the line.
+"Konbanwa, Sonomi-san," Sakura said, pressing her free hand to her mouth,
+swallowing sob after sob.
+"Oh, Sakura-chan," the voice of Tomoyo's mother was soothing and
+discomforting at once. "I wanted to ask you, could you... would you please
+speak at Tomoyo's funeral tomorrow?" Tears came like static on the line,
+"She did love you so... I think it would make her happy."
+"Of course, Sonomi-san," Sakura drew in a breath that caught in her
+throat, "I would be honored. Tomoyo is..," her eyes closed to combat the
+truth, "was so... very precious to me."
+"Hai," they were both crying now, words distorted and raw, "There are
+things here I think she would want you to have."
+"I can't take anything from you, Sonomi-san," Sakura said honestly, her
+hands fisting in Cerberus' fur. The seal beast rested his head in her lap,
+making small feline noises of comfort. "Tomoyo was your daughter-- you
+should have her things."
+"But she would have wanted you to have something," Sonomi insisted, "She
+cared about you so much." Sakura felt sure she'd been cut, sliced from
+breast bone o navel with hurt. <What can I say?> she wondered. She wanted
+to tell Sonomi the truth, to say, 'it is my hand that caused your
+daughter's death-- it was I who loved her, and with my unconscious magic
+bound her to me. It was also I who betrayed her with another, and killed
+her.' Sakura strained her eyes in the dim light, focusing on the row of
+dolls near her bed. She gazed at an ebony-haired, silken-bronze clad doll
+with a suddenly watery memory of a smile; the doll has been a gift from
+Tomoyo.
+Drawing a breath, she whispered into the phone; "I will take only what you
+want me to have."
+"Thank you," said the older woman, "Sakura-chan, if you need to talk, I am
+here. When my Nadeshiko died, I should have liked to have had someone to
+confide in... I am here if you need me."
+Sakura bit her lip, "You are in so much pain, and yet yu're trying to ease
+mine. I hope I can return the favor."
+"Just go on to be whatever it is Sakura is destined to be," the tiny,
+disembodied voice entreated, "Tomoyo-chan wanted to see you shine."
+It was a while before Sakura could speak past the blinding agony, "I will.
+I promise. Good night, Sonomi-san."
+"Good night, and thank you," the other voice returned, before the air was
+still and dead. Sakura held the phone in both hands, looking down into
+Cerberus' deep brown eyes.
+"I did kill her, didn't I, Kero-chan?" Sakura's voice was soulless.
+"You didn't mean to," the seal beast insisted.
+"No," a sigh, "Everyone said to me, 'Syaoran loves you', and so I thought
+I must love him too. I wanted so badly not to disappoint anyone. But..."
+Sakura flung the phone away, watching it slide across the hard-wood floor
+and spiral there. "I loved Tomoyo. I *love* Tomoyo," she breathed in the
+present tense and all the hope it held. "I never let myself realize, I was
+so scared of disappointing everyone."
+"You were given a power you don't understand," Cerberus pointed out, "How
+were you to know that your love for her bound you together?"
+"I'm the one that cut the cord! Why did I go with Syaoran?" Sakura reached
+blindly for the doll Tomoyo had given her, "The whole time I was there, I
+knew everything was wrong. If I had left, or said no, Tomoyo-chan would
+still be alive." Slowly, Sakura climbed to her feet, approaching her desk
+on shaky legs. Her hands traced the rich cover of the book of Clow, and
+Sakura Cards resting within.  "Now I see why Clow wanted to be rid of this
+power." Her hand reached for the small over-head lamp as she opened the
+book, eyes roaming over the beautiful illustrations of power; all beautiful
+lines and careful coloring. The thought was so sudden that Sakura stood
+with the force of it, feeling the world fall away beneath her feet. "Clow
+cheated Death," she murmured.
+"Hai," said Cerberus without thinking. A low tiger chuckle emerged between
+his teeth, "Death came to see Clow, once or twice. Knocked on the door--
+nice and polite," he smiled at the memory, "but Clow was the most powerful
+sorcerer ever. He only died when he was tired of his power." The seal beast
+gazed at Sakura, suddenly aware of the present, "The most powerful
+sorcerer, save you of course."
+"I had never thought about living forever," Sakura's words drifted, "or
+close to forever, anyway." She turned the pages of the book, faster and
+faster until it was the sound of birds rustling. With awe, she touched over
+the beautiful faces of the Light and the Dark, "I can save her."
+Cerberus stared at his Mistress for a moment, before venturing, "You'll
+have wait, a very long time."
+"I can learn to wait," Sakura murmured. Her hand was on the key, which
+swiftly became her staff; she was bounding towards the open window. Her
+toes touched the windowsill and she leapt out into the night with the Fly
+card giving her staff wings. Raising her eyes to the moon, Sakura cried her
+happiness. Tomoyo had waited so long for her, without ever expecting
+fulfillment-- could not Sakura do the same?
+The mortician had curled Tomoyo's hair loosely, draping the deep lavender
+near the girl's neck to cover the scars from the autopsy. Reverently,
+Sakura touched the corpse's pale cheek, feeling the void left by Tomoyo's
+soul. Without the shimmer of the girl inside, the body was husk, a poor
+imitation. With a hiss, she bit her lip, remembering what the doctors had
+officially reported. A rare disease-- the collection of blood in the lungs.
+Tomoyo had drowned to death in her own blood; but the doctors didn't know
+the real reason why. A sob locked in Sakura's throat; Tomoyo didn't look
+like she was sleeping, or even alive at all, only empty, empty. Moving the
+lid of the casket away, Sakura reached for her key.
+"Oh key that holds the power of the Stars," she chanted, hanging ont the
+words with her sanity, "reveal to me thy true form. By the pledge between
+us, Sakura doth command! RELEASE!" The breeze settled, and Sakura felt
+oddly alone-- always, Tomoyo had been by her side, taping and observing her
+magic. Swallowing her sickness, she lifted the first of the cards.
+"CREATE-- make for me a box worthy of holding Tomoyo's heart!" A deep
+breath, and she set the new silver chest aside. "FREEZE-- keep Tomoyo's
+body young forever!" Finally, she raised her right hand high, "SWORD!"
+With her eyes firmly fixed on the empty visage of her beautiful best
+friend, Sakura lifted the sword.
+"I love you, Tomoyo."
+And she drove the blade in next to Tomoyo's heart.
+=================
+DECEMBER 5th, 2109
+Tomoeda, Japan
+Once, the area had been the site of an amusement park in bright colored
+plastics, with children laughing loud into the wind. Before that-- though
+no one in Tomoeda had a memory extending that far-- an old, towering
+mansion had rested on the land. Now both were long gone, bull-dozed in turn
+for progress, and for some twenty years, wild vines and trees had retaken
+the place. The earth easily forgets humanity. In recent years, it had
+become the site of a new building project that had the citizens of Tomoeda
+talking; even the children that climbed the old and faded King Penguin had
+whispered amongst each other.  Gradually, a house seemed to grow from the
+ground; yellow, with a porch that circled it and turrets as fine for any
+castle. It became the home of a rich young heiress by the name of Kinomoto
+Sakura, and if there had ever been another young girl with bright green
+eyes, a cheerful spirit and whispering brown hair... well, there was no one
+around to remember her. She looked not a day over sixteen, this young
+woman, though she insisted she was twenty-two, and as far as anyone knew,
+she lived in the house by herself. Sometimes, people said they heard voices
+drifting down from the house, but that was just talk. At first, the towns
+people  resented Kinomoto-san in a way, but she gave generously to the
+drill team and cheer-leading club at the elementary school, and she seemed
+to love the town as much as they did. Gradually, she became a regular
+fixture, and people felt free to wave or greet her on the street. However,
+only children really seemed at ease with her; perhaps because, despite her
+powerful baring, she was still so much a child herself.
+It was there on the calendar in thick, neat Kanji, some of it spilling
+over into the next neatly lined square.
+"December 5th," Cerberus read what his mistress had written, standing on
+his hunches to see, "Tomoyo died. Please come back, Tomoyo." The name was
+in friendly Hirigana, a little school-girl style heart draw cradled in the
+'to'. "Todays the day," he said, padding across the kitchen tile towards
+his companion, "Think she'll realize it when she wakes up?"
+Perched on a stool near the counter, Yue tossed a lock of moon-white hair
+and snorted, "Of course she knows, my furry friend. As if she hasn't been
+watching the calendar like a hawk."
+"Hai, hai," there was a flash, and Cerberus flitted into his smaller form,
+alighting on Yue's shoulder. "I'm just a little worried, though. She hasn't
+even mentioned it."
+Yue rolled his eyes, "This is a very big thing-- very personal. She's
+probably nervous. I think maybe we should..."
+"Ohayo, Yue-san," the Card Mistress' voice rang clear in the cool winter
+kitchen. She smiled just a little bit, standing in the doorway with the
+rainbow lights of the sun catcher playing over her body. With a practiced
+air, she plucked Cerberus from the air, "Ohayo, Kero-chan." Ignoring the
+looks her friends gave her, Sakura padded towards the cupboard, pulling on
+her silken pajama top. Cutlery and china began to chime together-- the
+sounds of breakfast being made.
+"Ohayo, Sakura-sama," Yue offered, stretching his wings and barely
+managing not to over turn the stool. "Kero-chan and I were just talking. We
+thought perhaps we would let you have the house to yourself today and check
+out the old haunts-- the temple, the park..."
+"Hey," Kero back stroked in the air, "As long as we buy some of that
+really good Pocky from the corner store, I'm happy." Yue batted at him
+absently, watching as his Mistress turned away from the oven.  There were
+tears back-lighted emerald by her eyes, just barely swimming over her
+lashes.
+"Arigato, Yue-san," her smile was gentle and thankful, "That's very kind
+of you."
+"Don't mention it," Kero accepted the small pancakes Sakura offered out,
+"It was my idea." Expertly, he dodged Yue's hand, holding out a slice of
+pancake to the young man.
+"I detest food," Yue returned, before turning back to Sakura, "Anyway, I
+think we'll go right now." Sakura nodded softly and watched her two
+companions drift out into the hallway. A moment later, she heard the door
+close, and her body slumped against the counter. Gathering her strength,
+she moved to sit at the table, picking at her food with a hopeless,
+disinterested chop-sticks. Around her, the world was a comfortable new day
+yellow-- outside the window, the sun touched the morning sky opal, and the
+bare trees rose beautiful. Finally, Sakura pushed herself away from the
+table and moved towards the back door on unsteady legs.
+Outside, the winter are was crisp and real on Sakura's skin-- she breathed
+and watched small white air-flowers bloom. Trotting down the cobble stone
+path, she moved into the green house, her hands touching lightly on the
+roses, nadeshikos and lilies that grew there. In truth, she felt a little
+silly, a little too much like Eriol-- living in her mansion house and
+playing the recluse. She loved the people of her home town and tried to
+mingle with them when she could, but they always seemed a little wary. As
+she plucked a yellow rose to match the morning, Sakura supposed she didn't
+blame them. She had left scarcely a year after Tomoyo's death, wanting her
+memories of home to be pleasant, and not back-dropped with odd glances and
+whispers of suspicion as she failed to age or change. She returned only
+briefly for her father's funeral, and then for Sonomi-san's and, in the
+mean time, she traveled. She had been to London, to New York, Paris and
+even back to Hong Kong for the wedding of Syaoran and Meiling's
+grand-daughter, Shaiming. Staying in one place for very long was never an
+option, but she grew to enjoy the different landscapes of her life, all the
+while longing for the day when the mystery aboard each boat or train or jet
+she took would not be "who is that pretty young woman?", but "did you see
+that beautiful pale woman and her friend? I wonder who they are". In a way,
+she feared her hundred years of living would make her feel separate from
+Tomoyo-- put distance between them, that they would no longer be able to be
+friends. Still, the words of her gentle best friend ("There is no one I
+want to be with more thn Sakura-chan") would come to her at night, and she
+would dream of adventures for the both of them. Tomoyo had always seemed
+ageless-- perhaps she and Sakura had finally caught up.
+Smiling lightly, Sakura carried her armful of flowers back to the house,
+waving at the young school girls as they passed.
+"Ohayo, Kinomoto-san!" one voice raised itself above the rest, and the
+owner lingered by the hedge.
+"Good morning to you, too, Asahi-san," Sakura greeted, patting the girl's
+ebony braids with affection, "How are you?"
+"I'm fine," Asahi chirped, her lop-sided red winter coat making her look
+like a robin, "You look very happy, Kinomoto-san. How are you?"
+"I'm well," Sakura felt a slight blush, "and I am happy. A friend of mine
+will be returning today. It has been a long time since I've seen her."
+"Really?" Asahi enthused, "Can I meet her?"
+"I hope so..." Sakura looked away, "though perhaps she may not want to
+stay. I have wronged her in the past, and hope to make up to her."
+"Why didn't you see her earlier?" the younger girl inquired.
+"Ah," Sakura laughed, mostly at herself, "We've had to wait-- I do miss
+her so much."
+"Well," Asahi pressed a finger to her lip, considering, "Even if my mother
+says you are strange, Kinomoto-san, I don't see how any one could not like
+you. I am sure your friend will stay!"
+"Thank you, Asahi-san," Sakura murmured, selecting a yellow rose and
+several small white flowers from her load. "That makes me feel a lot
+better." Handing the small bouquet over the hedge, Sakura suggested, "Why
+don't you take these to put in your class room. It'll help brighten up
+winter."
+"Thank *you*, Kinomoto-san!" Asahi clasped the blooms to her heart, "It's
+the last day before break! I can't wait! Winter break is magic!" With that,
+the young girl turned and ran pell-mell down the street, pausing at the
+corner to look back and wave.
+"Don't forget to button your coat!" Sakura called after her, "It's cold
+out!"
+"Look who's in their nightgown!" Asahi shouted in return, giggling. Their
+laughter rang the bare tree branches.
+"Winter break is magic," Sakura murmured, sobering. Turning, she went back
+into the house, knowing she could not make herself wait any longer.
+In Tibet, Sakura had met a young woman who painted other people's sadness,
+so that they might look at it objectively. The Card Mistress kept her
+painting in a large, unused bedroom, mounted over a table on which stood a
+fine silver box. The canvas was coated with both longing and beauty; it was
+a portrait almost identical to Tomoyo, a young woman with long
+black-lavander hair standing by a window, cloak wrapped around her and
+gazing out to the winter sea. There were other things Sakura kept in the
+bedroom as well. A video camera, tapes, sewing supplies, and stacks upon
+stacks of journals and sketchbooks-- those things given to her by Sonomi
+after Tomoyo's funeral. Without realizing she was crying, Sakura placed the
+flowers in a vase on the nightstand, smoothing the coverlet on the bed.
+There were fine velvet draps over the windows, rows of beautiful dolls on
+the wall, waiting for an owner. On the dresser, there were baubles of every
+kind, jewlery and trinkets selected for someone special. All these things,
+Sakura had collected, always thinking of Tomoyo-- and yet, now all she
+wanted was to run through the street with her friend, to play ring around
+the rosy in the park and fall down upon each other.
+"Oh, key that hides the power of the stars," Sakura began, lifting the lid
+of the silver box and gazing in on the thing preserved so perfectly in ice.
+A heart, the most perfect one-- for it was Tomoyo's. "I call upon Dark and
+Light, I call upon Life! Give form to the woman who's heart has waited so
+long! Give life to someone who was robbed of it so young! I call upon the
+heavens-- once more give body to the spirit of Daidouji Tomoyo!"
+There was a moment when the room seemed terribly vacant-- as void as the
+corpse Sakura had watched buried so long ago. Then, an impossible breeze,
+brushing her short hair against her chin, and... Tomoyo. The pale girl
+stood still and bare, marveling at her hands, her long arms; her hair moved
+about her like a thing alive. Someone gasped, someone else cried out--
+Tomoyo's gray gaze met Sakura's own.
+"Sakura-chan," Tomoyo's voice was clear and distinct, a perfect crystal
+note, "You brought me back. Your magic," there was a smile, and that joy
+Sakura thought she'd never see again-- Tomoyo was happy to see her! "I
+didn't think... after I told you..."
+Sakura swallowed painfully, "Tomoyo-- it was my fault... it wasn't just
+your love, it was mine!" Tears now, ringing with laughter, and still they
+stood apart. Neither dared to touch the other, each watching, each sure her
+hand would find a ghost. "My love tried to keep you with me. I was
+selfish--"
+"I wanted Sakura-chan to be happy," Tomoyo confessed, " I thought Syaoran
+would do that for you."
+"I know," Sakura reached out her shaking fingers, finally tangling them in
+Tomoyo's soft hair, "It's okay. Even I didn't know what I really wanted."
+Stepping forward, Sakura stood in the circle of Tomoyo's open arms,
+bringing her mouth close the other girl's ear to deliver the words. A
+whisper, "I love you, Tomoyo. Maybe we won't always be happy---"
+"I have only wanted Sakura to be happy," Tomoyo cradled the other girl's
+cheek, "but I would be happy, sad or anything in between with my Sakura."
+Embracing the other woman, Sakura began to cry in earnest, pressing her
+lips to Tomoyo's stainless palms.
+OWARI

Mercurial > moonlitnights

comparison old/stories/conjure.txt @ 2:fc00894c1d4a moonlitnights