moonlitnights: stories/farewellfin.txt comparison

comparison stories/farewellfin.txt @ 0:ed1308d04df2 moonlitnights

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author	rlm
date	Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:24:59 -0500
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+:ed1308d04df2
+We’d like to thank Boco the Chokobo, because without his help, this story
+would never have been finished, especially not in time for ChibiUsa’s
+birthday. ^-^
+Farewell
+By the Amazoness Quartet
+ChibiUsa sighed anxiously. It was a beautiful day outside, but that
+was far from her mind. A certain dark haired girl was the focus of it, but
+that wasn't anything new. She was waiting for Hotaru to finish getting
+dressed so they could leave for Hotaru's father's beach house where they'd
+spend the next few days together. Alone this time. ChibiUsa couldn't help
+but smile at the idea of being alone with Hotaru. She'd already had a
+birthday party earlier today with the others and now she'd be able to enjoy
+the rest of it with the one person she wished to share everything with.
+A wailing noise snapped her out of her thoughts. It took her a
+moment to realize it was the sound of a child crying. Knowing that both of
+their twin daughters that had come back from the future were somewhere
+in the house, it had to be something wrong for one of them. Heading down
+the stairs quickly, she tried to pinpoint where the sobbing was coming from.
+Selene looked up teary eyed at ChibiUsa. The future princess kneeled down
+worriedly next to the younger girl. “Selene, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
+	Selene just wiped at her eyes tearfully, taking a shuddering breath before
+looking up at her the woman that would one day be her mother.
+“ChibiUsa-mama, do you
+really love Hotaru-mama?” she asked in almost a hushed whisper.
+	ChibiUsa was taken aback. Why did the little girl ask that? Was there any
+question? Brushing a hand through her pink hair, she just blinked a few
+times. “Of course
+I do. She’s everything to me.”
+	Selene sniffled, wiping her eyes shakily with the back of her hand.
+“Re…Really?”
+	The pink haired girl nodded quickly to dispel the younger girl’s fears,
+wiping a
+tear from her cheek. She smiled gently at Selene. “Really. She’s everything
+to me. I love
+your Hotaru-mama with all my heart.” This seemed to appease the younger
+girl, drawing
+forth a small smile from her. ChibiUsa smiled softly, but something still
+concerned her.
+Something felt wrong… “Why did you ask?”
+	The dark haired odangoed girl rubbed at her eyes with small fists before
+looking
+up at ChibiUsa again. “An angel told me. She was really pretty, with pink
+hair kinda like
+yours, but it was past her shoulders. She was all shimmery and had a white
+dress on that
+was really long and pretty, too. She said that it wasn’t enough.”
+	“That what wasn’t enough?” ChibiUsa asked encouragingly, wanting to know
+what had gotten the younger girl so upset.
+	“That you didn’t love her enough…” Selene said quietly, looking down.
+	ChibiUsa shook her head emphatically. “No, that’s absurd. I love Hotaru
+more
+than anything. How could I not love her enough?” she demanded, her heart
+starting to
+ache from the very idea.
+	“I.. I don’t know…” Selene barely got out, on the verge of tears.
+	ChibiUsa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. It was nothing, just a
+figment of
+Selene’s imagination. Sure it was kind of odd, but that was just not even
+worth worrying
+about. Of course she loved Hotaru enough. She slowly smiled again, hugging
+the smaller
+girl. “It’s going to be alright, Selene. Whatever it was, it was wrong. I
+love Hotaru with
+all my heart.” ChibiUsa’s words reassured both herself and Selene. Smiling a
+little
+brighter, ChibiUsa tilted her head to the side. “Want to get some ice cream?
+We can
+forget all about this.”
+	Selene jumped up and down excitedly. “Hai!! Thanks, ChibiUsa-mama! You’re
+the best!” She hugged ChibiUsa tightly, already starting to forget her odd
+vision.
+	They were finally alone. That was the first thought that ran through
+ChibiUsa’s
+head as she walked hand in hand with Hotaru to the beach house. In the
+distance, the two
+could hear Haruka’s car driving off. She’d be there to pick them up in a few
+days. In the
+meantime, that left the lovers alone with each other at the beach house. No
+children, no
+schoolwork, no responsibility. Juts the wonderful feeling of being together.
+They had
+come out here to be alone, a birthday present Hotaru had given her so they
+could spend
+the next few days together without a care in the world. ChibiUsa smiled
+brightly at the
+dark haired girl, squeezing her hand slightly.  The pale girl’s hand
+squeezed back as
+Hotaru turned to her with a smile.
+	As they stood in front of the doors, ChibiUsa felt an almost overwhelming
+sense
+of fear and regret overtake her. As if her whole life would change by
+walking through
+those doors. She leaned against Hotaru, holding her arm tightly.
+	“ChibiUsa-chan?” Hotaru looked at her worriedly. Her usually cheerful
+complexion was now deathly pale. Hotaru’s arm started to ache from the death
+grip
+ChibiUsa had on it. The raven haired girl started to panic, barely holding
+herself in check
+for ChibiUsa’s sake. This was so unlike the vibrant future princess. What
+could be so
+horribly wrong?
+	Taking a deep, soothing breath, ChibiUsa smiled calmly at Hotaru,
+suppressing
+the wave of emotions that had passed over her. “Its nothing. I just haven’t
+been getting
+much sleep lately because of the twins. And Kousagi’s been keeping me up
+whenever
+I’m at my house, so that’s it.” She giggled at the skeptical look Hotaru
+threw her.
+“Really, its nothing. You worry too much, Hota-chan. Let’s just enjoy
+ourselves. You and
+me.”
+	Beautiful crimson eyes gazed brightly at her as the future princess’s arm
+went
+around Hotaru’s waist. Hotaru felt herself relaxing in ChibiUsa’s grasp. If
+ChibiUsa was
+okay, then there really wasn’t anything for her to be worrying about. The
+nervousness
+slowly started to ebb away, replaced by a warm feeling her heart as her
+violet eyes befell
+the pink haired goddess before her. Hotaru smiled softly. “Hai, its your
+birthday, so if
+that’s what you want to do, I’m all for it.” Leaning forward, her lips
+lightly brushed
+ChibiUsa’s. “Happy birthday, Odango-chan.”
+	“I can’t think of a better way to spend my birthday,” ChibiUsa said,
+grinning.
+	ChibiUsa rolled over for what had to be the eighth time that night.
+No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get to sleep. And that usually
+wasn't a problem for her whenever she had Hotaru right beside her. Their
+clothes lay scattered on the floor, their bodies entangled under the sheets.
+ChibiUsa held the frail girl close, the feel of her bare skin reminding her
+of the passionate moment they'd shared not long ago. The raven haired girl,
+who had enough trouble sleeping normally, was fast asleep next to her. She
+was tired after what they'd done, but she couldn't get to sleep. Closing her
+eyes just made matters worse. She sighed, her hands covering her face in
+frustration. Why was it bothering her? She knew she loved Hotaru, that's
+all that mattered. So why couldn't she get to sleep? All day, Hotaru had
+been
+pretending nothing was wrong, trying to hide her worry while ChibiUsa had
+been dancing around the subject and trying to reassure Hotaru that
+everything was alright. Neither had been able to enjoy themselves because
+of how she was acting. Sitting up in bed, the pink haired girl slowly
+disentangled herself from her sleeping lover. She knew she wouldn’t be
+getting any sleep tonight.
+	Her thoughts in a jumble, ChibiUsa slipped off the bed, her toes
+moving against the soft feel of the carpet. Tilting her head to the side,
+ChibiUsa gazed at the raven haired girl alone in the bed for a what felt
+like
+an eternity. Her fingers gingerly followed the contours of Hotaru’s
+beautiful
+face, brushing past her soft lips, warm cheeks, and finally through
+midnight black hair. She leaned down, brushing some of Hotaru’s dark hair
+back. Her lips gently pressed against Hotaru’s as her fingers stroked down
+to the pale girl’s neck. Something wet rolled down ChibiUsa’s cheek down
+to Hotaru’s, startling the pink haired girl. Slowly pulling away, a hand
+went
+to her face. Another tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m crying? Why am I
+crying?” she asked herself in a daze. The pink haired girl balled up her
+fists
+in frustration, shutting her eyes tightly as a wave of sadness swept through
+her body. An icy pit formed in her stomach as more tears started falling.
+‘I’m supposed to be happy. I’ve got everything I could ever want. I have
+you, Hota-chan. I love you.” A sob punctuated her declaration of love, her
+hand wiping at the still forming tears in her crimson eyes.
+	Looking down at Hotaru, ChibiUsa’s fingers lightly brushed her
+cheek again. Part of her wanted to wake the sleeping angel, to try to tell
+her
+the jumble of emotions going through her. But she couldn’t bring herself to
+wake the raven haired girl up. Each time she’d try, she stopped herself just
+before she could. What would Hotaru think? She wouldn’t think… ChibiUsa
+pulled her hand away from Hotaru’s pale skin as if burned. Selene’s words
+burst into her mind. ‘That you didn’t love her enough…’ She shook her head
+violently, her hands going through her pink hair as a lonely wail escaped
+her lips. “That
+can’t be it. It can’t be….” She desperately wanted to shake Hotaru awake, to
+tell her just
+how much she loved her, to here Hotaru tell her she knows, that she’s always
+known. But
+ChibiUsa still couldn’t bring herself to disturb the raven haired girl’s
+peaceful slumber.
+So often, Hotaru would look tormented in her sleep. This would just ruin one
+of the few
+restful slumbers that Hotaru’s had. “I’m being selfish, Hota-chan. I’ll be
+okay. I can
+handle this.”
+	With that, the future princess headed out the door of their bedroom,
+padding
+across the plush carpet. At first she didn’t know where she was going, but
+she quickly
+realized the path she was taking. The Mirror. Of course! How could she have
+been so
+blind? Michiru had lent ChibiUsa her hand mirror for their trip to the beach
+house, telling
+her the talisman would keep them safe. The mirror could show the truth, no
+matter how
+hidden it may be. She could easily look into that to see how deep her
+feelings for Hotaru
+ran. After proving them to her satisfaction, she could be off to bed and
+cuddling with her
+firefly. She grinned happily as she made her way to the mirror, lying unused
+on a table in
+the living room. ChibiUsa felt almost dizzy as she picked up the mirror. It
+was cold to the
+touch. Something in the back of her mind told her to put it down, that how
+dare she
+question their love. Afterall, it didn’t matter that Hotaru’s hair wasn’t
+pink.  She wet her
+parched lips nervously, the icy pit in her stomach returning a hundred fold.
+Holding the
+mirror up, she gazed into it. Rather than a direct reflection, the image in
+the mirror was of
+her as a princess. The truth. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the warnings in
+the back of
+her head, ChibiUsa concentrated on the mirror. “Show me the depths of my
+love.”
+	She ran, ignoring the sharp pain of rocks scraping against the skin of her
+bare
+feet, ignoring everything as she tried to get further and further away. Her
+hair, let down
+from its normal odango style for the night, trailed behind her past her
+shoulders. Tears
+blinded her, blurring her vision, but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered
+anymore. Nothing.
+Her frantic thoughts swirled about in her mind like a whirlwind, jumbled
+beyond
+coherency other than the deep pain she felt in her heart.
+	As she ran along the rocky cliff face, barely even realizing where she was.
+She
+wiped at her eyes desperately, stinging tears dripping wetly down her
+cheeks. ‘Why?!
+Why?’ she thought, over and over again, begging for an answer, any answer to
+the pain
+she felt. Her heart ached deeply, as if she’d been cut open by The Senshi of
+Death and
+Rebirth herself. Was that how she truly felt? Was that what was to happen?
+She didn’t
+return Hotaru’s feelings with half the blaze, half the sheer strength that
+Hotaru had in her
+love for her. ChibiUsa shuddered, feeling cold inside. As if she’d been
+drowning in a
+freezing river for so long and had only now opened her eyes. What could she
+say to
+Hotaru? Anything she could say would only hurt her, ChibiUsa was sure. She
+hugged
+herself tightly, her small body wracked by sobs as she continued her aimless
+running, her
+only thoughts to escape the horror of her thoughts.
+	So intent was she upon her fleeing that she never noticed where she was
+running. The rocky ledge started to give way beneath her bare feet, a
+breathless scream
+trapped forever in her lips as she fell. The princess barely felt the
+impact, everything
+starting to fade out as she hit the shore below. She lay there, tears still
+running down her
+cheeks, not even realizing she was taking her dying breath. “Taru…”
+	“ChibiUsa-chan!! ChibiUsa-chan, where are you?! Please, please come back to
+me, ChibiUsa-chan….” Hotaru slumped to her knees in defeat, her dark skirt
+getting
+sullied by the wet sand on the beach. Last night, ChibiUsa had seemed so
+upset about
+something. She’d gone out to look for the pink haired future princess in the
+dark, but she
+was nowhere to be found. Hotaru had hoped that she’d gone back to the beach
+house, but
+no such luck. She had finally cried herself to sleep when she had gotten
+back to their
+empty bed. Waking up, she had the false hope that she’d be in ChibiUsa’s
+arms and that
+everything would be alright again. Now she had to wonder if things would
+ever be alright
+from then on.
+	Her black tights and dark clothes barely kept back the biting cold wind
+that blew
+past her. Icy knives raked her face as she stumbled forward, wiping at her
+eyes with her
+long sleeve. “ChibiUsa-chan…” She wanted to give up, to go back inside the
+warm house
+and cry herself back to sleep. She hadn’t slept much the night before, so
+why not? What
+could she hope to find out here? Something inside her pushed her on,
+spurring her
+forward. Standing up again, the raven haired girl weakly made her way along
+the beach.
+She nearly lost her footing in the wet sand, but kept going after steadying
+herself. She
+trudged on and on, the lapping of the waves and the whistling of the wind
+the only sounds
+around her.
+	About to collapse from exhaustion, the raven haired girl’s attention was
+caught
+by something up ahead. Something pink. She squinted, trying to make out what
+it could
+be, praying that it was the girl she sought. She’d soon come to regret that
+as her prayers
+were answered. As she ran to the other girl, she quickly noticed that
+ChibiUsa wasn’t
+moving. Her pink hair was moving back and forth as the wind played with it.
+Her
+normally immaculate white nightgown was stained with the brown of the wet
+sand and
+streaks of crimson. Her body was lying in a heap, looking like a rag doll
+that had been
+thrown aside.
+	Hotaru ran as fast as she could, her heart catching in her chest. In her
+haste, her
+foot caught on a rock, forcing her to tumble to the ground. She got up and
+pushed on,
+despite the intense pain in her twisted ankle. It couldn’t rival the pain in
+her heart.
+“ChibiUsa-chan!!!” she cried out, almost expecting the pink haired girl to
+sit up. Hot
+tears poured down her cheeks as she fell to her knees besides the prone
+future princess.
+“ChibiUsa-chan, get up. Please, get up,” the dark haired girl sobbed as her
+arms went
+around the cold body of her one true love. She held ChibiUsa close, a tear
+falling onto
+ChibiUsa’s cheek. The pink haired girl’s face looked almost the same as it
+had the night
+before. Her large crimson eyes were glassy and looking up at Hotaru, her
+normally
+vibrant cheeks now pale. Hotaru clutched onto ChibiUsa in her grief. She
+felt as if her
+heart had been torn from her chest. As if a piece of her, the most important
+piece, had
+been taken from her. “ChibiUsa-chan… Don’t leave me alone… I’m scared to be
+alone..
+I need you with me, ChibiUsa-chan… I need you…” she barely managed to get
+out
+through heart wrenching sobs. The painful realization that her lover was now
+dead kept
+trying to impose itself on her mind, but she clung to the hope that she’d be
+okay, that she
+would get up in her arms, returning the embrace.
+	Hotaru stayed that way for a long time, ignoring everything around her as
+she
+held the dead princess tightly against her. “Its like she’s asleep… She’s so
+pretty when
+she’s asleep… Its like you’re taking a nap, ChibiUsa-chan. You sleep well,
+and I’ll be
+here when you wake up… I’ll always be here when you awake. Because…” The
+dark
+haired girl looked intently at the lost love in her arms, tears still
+streaming down her
+cheeks. “I love you.”
+	A few hours later, a blue sports car stopped in front of the beach house.
+A woman with sandy blonde hair stepped out of the car, holding her jacket
+tightly
+around her as the sea breeze came in. Smiling to herself, she reached back
+in
+the car and pulled out the last of ChibiUsa’s birthday presents, lovingly
+wrapped
+in a deep violet wrapping paper with black lace ribbons. Hotaru had
+forgotten the
+present she had been going to give ChibiUsa in her haste and Haruka hadn't
+found it in the back of her car until she was well back to the city. She'd
+decided to
+stop by the next day and return it to her daughter to give to the ChibiUsa.
+Cinching her jacket around her, the tall woman made her way to the door of
+the
+beach house and knocked on the door. “Hime-chan! Its me, Haruka-papa,” she
+said after a few moments. There was no answer. Haruka frowned and tried the
+door. She began to worry as the unlocked door opened. What could have
+happened to the two girls? She commanded herself to stop worrying. They were
+probably at the beach and left the door open for when they’d come back in.
+Something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She
+instantly recognized it as Michiru’s mirror. It was lying on the floor near
+one of the
+tables in the living room as if someone had thrown in aside in a hurry.
+Haruka’s
+heart started beating faster as she quickly searched the beach house. Her
+surrogate daughter and the future princess were nowhere to be found. Rather
+than waste time panicking, the blonde woman rushed out of the house, intent
+on
+finding the two girls. Trudging out towards the beach, she couldn’t help but
+shiver
+as the biting wind increased. It was too cold to be swimming. They couldn’t
+be
+out here for that. Then why… Haruka shook her head. She wouldn’t allow
+herself
+to assume the worst yet. First things first. She had to find them.
+	After what felt like hours of walking, but must have been considerably
+less, Haruka thought she heard a faint voice being carried by the wind. A
+voice
+filled with utter despair and hopelessness. A voice that had lost any of the
+joy
+and wonder life had to offer. At first, she thought it was only the wind,
+but the soft
+voice continued. Haruka finally caught sight of a girl dressed entirely in
+black, her
+rave hair being whipped around by the wind as she clutched onto something
+protectively. The blonde woman ran to her surrogate daughter, determined to
+make sure everything was okay. He stopped dead in her tracks when she saw
+the lifeless form of a once happy pink haired girl in Hotaru’s arms. “My
+God….”
+She gasped.
+	Hotaru didn’t even look up, not noticing her Haruka-papa’s arrival. “So
+pretty when you sleep like this. And I’ll watch over you forever, my
+sleeping
+beauty….” Hotaru’s fingers gently brushed over ChibiUsa’s cold lips as she
+continued rambling semi-coherently. “Forever.”
+"It's so cold..."                                                     .
+	Ever since what had happened, Hotaru kept a nearly steady monologue.
+The silence meant she was alone again.. always alone.. forever..  And she
+didn't
+want to be left alone.  Not now, not ever.  Everything that had happened..
+it
+was like a whole new person.  "It's not me.  Silly.  I'm watching myself..
+like
+on a screen..."
+	All around her, the room seemed bare, stripped of everything.  Her
+normally dark room was even darker without the beautiful shining lamps to
+soften
+it.  "But the lamps were too dangerous, ne, Michiru-mama?  You wouldn't want
+me
+to break one and use the glass to slit my wrists.  You want me to suffer.."
+	The dark-haired girl, long out of tears, looked over everything she had
+left.  The bed was bare, so she couldn't strangle herself with the sheets.
+Her
+beautiful lamps had been replaced by three solemn candles.  She only had her
+books.. her only escape for so many years before was her only option now.
+Or..
+	That seemed a lifetime ago to the grief-stricken girl.  "Oh, back then,
+no-one cared if I lived or I died.. Kaori-baka would've been GLAD to see me
+go.
+And.. if I'd died then... she wouldn't..."  Closing her eyes tight and
+trying
+to remove the image from her mind, she thought over her options.  Ever since
+her parents set up this suicide watch, after that first night alone, she'd
+had
+no privacy, not even a chance to mourn in peace.  She'd just been almost
+locked
+in her room, from how they treated her outside it, and even then one of them
+would check on her every few minutes, even if she was asleep.
+	All she had left were her books..
+	"They say history repeats.. I know.. I watched it.. over and over..  An
+endless loop.  I was alone then.. I'm alone now.. oh, ChibiUsa-chan.. why
+couldn't I have died instead?"
+	The desk was gone.  The shelves, the table, the chairs - all taken out.
+All that was left were her books and her bed.. and the candles.  Near a
+corner,
+the remains of her diary sat.  She'd tried to communicate that way, writing
+everything using the stub of a pencil Setsuna-mama had finally agreed to
+give
+her.  After the first hundred pages or so, she'd realized she wasn't making
+any
+sense at all, and questioned the point of it.  But, then again, what were
+all
+of her diaries for?  All the secrets, every little thing, kept in meticulous
+detail... "No-one could understand.  I couldn't let them understnd.  They'd
+see
+and they wouldn't understand.. the only person who could ever understand is
+dead.  Saturn!  Where are you now?  If you're truly the Messiah, reigning
+over
+Death and Rebirth, then tell me why!"
+	But, then, an idea came.. and in her broken mind, with its broken soul,
+living a lifeless shell in a grey world without even the comfort of trust,
+it
+made perfect sense.
+	No-one would understand.  So why let them try?
+	She stood, shakily, blinking and wiping her bloodshot eyes.  It would
+still be a few minutes at least, until someone checked on her.  Praying it
+would be long enough, she set to work, seperating her books from her diaries
+and journals, her secrets..  Making a pile, she begin to organize it all,
+bit
+by bit, working slowly and carefully.  It was almost time.
+	Her work was interrupted by a knock at her door.  "Hime-chan?  Is
+everything okay?"  It was Haruka-papa, come to make sure she hadn't died.
+Not responding, she waited for the blonde woman to open the door and
+check.  "Hime-chan?"  The door slowly creaked open, and Haruka stuck her
+head
+inside.  "I know it's hard for you, Hime-chan.  But we have to be sure."
+When
+Hotaru didn't even bother to look up, Haruka just sighed and shut the door
+again.
+	Alone once more, the girl set her plan into motion.  Tearing pages out,
+shredding some, pulling some into strips, leaving some notebooks whole, she
+prepared.  All of her work, everything she had left, everything she was.. it
+was all here.  And with a touch of the candle..
+	It took a minute or so to catch.  Hotaru blew on the small fire,
+letting it grow at its own pace.  She knew that the smoke alarm's batteries
+had
+been dead for weeks, and since everyone was asleep or downstairs, there'd be
+no-one to stop her.  Page by page, she fed the fire.. whole years of her
+life,
+burning away.  "It's warm, ChibiUsa-chan.. can you feel it?  It's not like
+everything else..  This is how it has to be, now.  If I can't die.. I'll
+make
+it so I was never around in the first place.  Without these for people to
+remember me by, I'll just fade away.  No-one cares but you, ChibiUsa-chan..
+no-one....  They want me to live on, forget the past.  Find someone to
+console
+me and love me.  Be happy.  I've never been happy, ChibiUsa-chan.  I can't
+ever
+remember being happy.  Not without you..."
+	The flickering flames glittered, reflected in her sad, tired eyes.. so
+tired, so old.. dead.
+	The fire spread to the floor, spread through the room.  By now, it was
+quite obvious that the room was ablaze, if not the whole house.  And Haruka,
+just now noticing the smell, was quick to run up and check on her
+dark-haired
+princess.  Sirens could be heard, off in the distance.. a neighbor saw the
+flame, the firefighters would arrive soon.
+	Haruka arrived just in time to pull the firefly from the heart of the
+fire before anything more than her hair and clothes were singed.  The girl
+was
+unconscious, passed out from the lack of sleep and the fumes of the books'
+bindings as they caught.
+	Two figures watched from the shadows.
+	Children.
+	It almost seemed they were part of the background.. a piece that
+doesn't quite fit, that everyone overlooks..
+	One spoke.  Her voice quiet, almost detached.
+	"Shisa?"
+	"Yes, Selene?"
+	"Do you think we went too far?  I mean.."
+	They watched, as their mother was revived by her Haruka-papa.  As she
+was doomed to ever live, lifeless.
+	"Yes, Selene."
+	"Oh.. look, Shisa!  I can see through us.  We're fading.... Shisa?"
+	"Yes, Selene?"
+	"I am the wind.. look!  Whoosh!"
+	A gust of wind came, as the window was broken in by a firefighter.
+The two figures seemed to dissipate, with the smoke..

Mercurial > moonlitnights

comparison stories/farewellfin.txt @ 0:ed1308d04df2 moonlitnights