annotate old/stories/farewellfin.txt @ 4:69f0191c9016 moonlitnights tip

added error.log and access.log
author Robert McIntyre <rlm@mit.edu>
date Tue, 22 Jun 2010 13:42:35 -0400
parents fc00894c1d4a
children
rev   line source
rlm@2 1 We’d like to thank Boco the Chokobo, because without his help, this story
rlm@2 2 would never have been finished, especially not in time for ChibiUsa’s
rlm@2 3 birthday. ^-^
rlm@2 4
rlm@2 5 Farewell
rlm@2 6 By the Amazoness Quartet
rlm@2 7
rlm@2 8
rlm@2 9 ChibiUsa sighed anxiously. It was a beautiful day outside, but that
rlm@2 10 was far from her mind. A certain dark haired girl was the focus of it, but
rlm@2 11 that wasn't anything new. She was waiting for Hotaru to finish getting
rlm@2 12 dressed so they could leave for Hotaru's father's beach house where they'd
rlm@2 13 spend the next few days together. Alone this time. ChibiUsa couldn't help
rlm@2 14 but smile at the idea of being alone with Hotaru. She'd already had a
rlm@2 15 birthday party earlier today with the others and now she'd be able to enjoy
rlm@2 16 the rest of it with the one person she wished to share everything with.
rlm@2 17
rlm@2 18 A wailing noise snapped her out of her thoughts. It took her a
rlm@2 19 moment to realize it was the sound of a child crying. Knowing that both of
rlm@2 20 their twin daughters that had come back from the future were somewhere
rlm@2 21 in the house, it had to be something wrong for one of them. Heading down
rlm@2 22 the stairs quickly, she tried to pinpoint where the sobbing was coming from.
rlm@2 23 Selene looked up teary eyed at ChibiUsa. The future princess kneeled down
rlm@2 24 worriedly next to the younger girl. “Selene, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
rlm@2 25 Selene just wiped at her eyes tearfully, taking a shuddering breath before
rlm@2 26 looking up at her the woman that would one day be her mother.
rlm@2 27 “ChibiUsa-mama, do you
rlm@2 28 really love Hotaru-mama?” she asked in almost a hushed whisper.
rlm@2 29 ChibiUsa was taken aback. Why did the little girl ask that? Was there any
rlm@2 30 question? Brushing a hand through her pink hair, she just blinked a few
rlm@2 31 times. “Of course
rlm@2 32 I do. She’s everything to me.”
rlm@2 33 Selene sniffled, wiping her eyes shakily with the back of her hand.
rlm@2 34 “Re…Really?”
rlm@2 35 The pink haired girl nodded quickly to dispel the younger girl’s fears,
rlm@2 36 wiping a
rlm@2 37 tear from her cheek. She smiled gently at Selene. “Really. She’s everything
rlm@2 38 to me. I love
rlm@2 39 your Hotaru-mama with all my heart.” This seemed to appease the younger
rlm@2 40 girl, drawing
rlm@2 41 forth a small smile from her. ChibiUsa smiled softly, but something still
rlm@2 42 concerned her.
rlm@2 43 Something felt wrong… “Why did you ask?”
rlm@2 44 The dark haired odangoed girl rubbed at her eyes with small fists before
rlm@2 45 looking
rlm@2 46 up at ChibiUsa again. “An angel told me. She was really pretty, with pink
rlm@2 47 hair kinda like
rlm@2 48 yours, but it was past her shoulders. She was all shimmery and had a white
rlm@2 49 dress on that
rlm@2 50 was really long and pretty, too. She said that it wasn’t enough.”
rlm@2 51 “That what wasn’t enough?” ChibiUsa asked encouragingly, wanting to know
rlm@2 52 what had gotten the younger girl so upset.
rlm@2 53 “That you didn’t love her enough…” Selene said quietly, looking down.
rlm@2 54 ChibiUsa shook her head emphatically. “No, that’s absurd. I love Hotaru
rlm@2 55 more
rlm@2 56 than anything. How could I not love her enough?” she demanded, her heart
rlm@2 57 starting to
rlm@2 58 ache from the very idea.
rlm@2 59 “I.. I don’t know…” Selene barely got out, on the verge of tears.
rlm@2 60 ChibiUsa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. It was nothing, just a
rlm@2 61 figment of
rlm@2 62 Selene’s imagination. Sure it was kind of odd, but that was just not even
rlm@2 63 worth worrying
rlm@2 64 about. Of course she loved Hotaru enough. She slowly smiled again, hugging
rlm@2 65 the smaller
rlm@2 66 girl. “It’s going to be alright, Selene. Whatever it was, it was wrong. I
rlm@2 67 love Hotaru with
rlm@2 68 all my heart.” ChibiUsa’s words reassured both herself and Selene. Smiling a
rlm@2 69 little
rlm@2 70 brighter, ChibiUsa tilted her head to the side. “Want to get some ice cream?
rlm@2 71 We can
rlm@2 72 forget all about this.”
rlm@2 73 Selene jumped up and down excitedly. “Hai!! Thanks, ChibiUsa-mama! You’re
rlm@2 74 the best!” She hugged ChibiUsa tightly, already starting to forget her odd
rlm@2 75 vision.
rlm@2 76
rlm@2 77 They were finally alone. That was the first thought that ran through
rlm@2 78 ChibiUsa’s
rlm@2 79 head as she walked hand in hand with Hotaru to the beach house. In the
rlm@2 80 distance, the two
rlm@2 81 could hear Haruka’s car driving off. She’d be there to pick them up in a few
rlm@2 82 days. In the
rlm@2 83 meantime, that left the lovers alone with each other at the beach house. No
rlm@2 84 children, no
rlm@2 85 schoolwork, no responsibility. Juts the wonderful feeling of being together.
rlm@2 86 They had
rlm@2 87 come out here to be alone, a birthday present Hotaru had given her so they
rlm@2 88 could spend
rlm@2 89 the next few days together without a care in the world. ChibiUsa smiled
rlm@2 90 brightly at the
rlm@2 91 dark haired girl, squeezing her hand slightly. The pale girl’s hand
rlm@2 92 squeezed back as
rlm@2 93 Hotaru turned to her with a smile.
rlm@2 94 As they stood in front of the doors, ChibiUsa felt an almost overwhelming
rlm@2 95 sense
rlm@2 96 of fear and regret overtake her. As if her whole life would change by
rlm@2 97 walking through
rlm@2 98 those doors. She leaned against Hotaru, holding her arm tightly.
rlm@2 99 “ChibiUsa-chan?” Hotaru looked at her worriedly. Her usually cheerful
rlm@2 100 complexion was now deathly pale. Hotaru’s arm started to ache from the death
rlm@2 101 grip
rlm@2 102 ChibiUsa had on it. The raven haired girl started to panic, barely holding
rlm@2 103 herself in check
rlm@2 104 for ChibiUsa’s sake. This was so unlike the vibrant future princess. What
rlm@2 105 could be so
rlm@2 106 horribly wrong?
rlm@2 107 Taking a deep, soothing breath, ChibiUsa smiled calmly at Hotaru,
rlm@2 108 suppressing
rlm@2 109 the wave of emotions that had passed over her. “Its nothing. I just haven’t
rlm@2 110 been getting
rlm@2 111 much sleep lately because of the twins. And Kousagi’s been keeping me up
rlm@2 112 whenever
rlm@2 113 I’m at my house, so that’s it.” She giggled at the skeptical look Hotaru
rlm@2 114 threw her.
rlm@2 115 “Really, its nothing. You worry too much, Hota-chan. Let’s just enjoy
rlm@2 116 ourselves. You and
rlm@2 117 me.”
rlm@2 118 Beautiful crimson eyes gazed brightly at her as the future princess’s arm
rlm@2 119 went
rlm@2 120 around Hotaru’s waist. Hotaru felt herself relaxing in ChibiUsa’s grasp. If
rlm@2 121 ChibiUsa was
rlm@2 122 okay, then there really wasn’t anything for her to be worrying about. The
rlm@2 123 nervousness
rlm@2 124 slowly started to ebb away, replaced by a warm feeling her heart as her
rlm@2 125 violet eyes befell
rlm@2 126 the pink haired goddess before her. Hotaru smiled softly. “Hai, its your
rlm@2 127 birthday, so if
rlm@2 128 that’s what you want to do, I’m all for it.” Leaning forward, her lips
rlm@2 129 lightly brushed
rlm@2 130 ChibiUsa’s. “Happy birthday, Odango-chan.”
rlm@2 131 “I can’t think of a better way to spend my birthday,” ChibiUsa said,
rlm@2 132 grinning.
rlm@2 133
rlm@2 134 ChibiUsa rolled over for what had to be the eighth time that night.
rlm@2 135 No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get to sleep. And that usually
rlm@2 136 wasn't a problem for her whenever she had Hotaru right beside her. Their
rlm@2 137 clothes lay scattered on the floor, their bodies entangled under the sheets.
rlm@2 138 ChibiUsa held the frail girl close, the feel of her bare skin reminding her
rlm@2 139 of the passionate moment they'd shared not long ago. The raven haired girl,
rlm@2 140 who had enough trouble sleeping normally, was fast asleep next to her. She
rlm@2 141 was tired after what they'd done, but she couldn't get to sleep. Closing her
rlm@2 142 eyes just made matters worse. She sighed, her hands covering her face in
rlm@2 143 frustration. Why was it bothering her? She knew she loved Hotaru, that's
rlm@2 144 all that mattered. So why couldn't she get to sleep? All day, Hotaru had
rlm@2 145 been
rlm@2 146 pretending nothing was wrong, trying to hide her worry while ChibiUsa had
rlm@2 147 been dancing around the subject and trying to reassure Hotaru that
rlm@2 148 everything was alright. Neither had been able to enjoy themselves because
rlm@2 149 of how she was acting. Sitting up in bed, the pink haired girl slowly
rlm@2 150 disentangled herself from her sleeping lover. She knew she wouldn’t be
rlm@2 151 getting any sleep tonight.
rlm@2 152 Her thoughts in a jumble, ChibiUsa slipped off the bed, her toes
rlm@2 153 moving against the soft feel of the carpet. Tilting her head to the side,
rlm@2 154 ChibiUsa gazed at the raven haired girl alone in the bed for a what felt
rlm@2 155 like
rlm@2 156 an eternity. Her fingers gingerly followed the contours of Hotaru’s
rlm@2 157 beautiful
rlm@2 158 face, brushing past her soft lips, warm cheeks, and finally through
rlm@2 159 midnight black hair. She leaned down, brushing some of Hotaru’s dark hair
rlm@2 160 back. Her lips gently pressed against Hotaru’s as her fingers stroked down
rlm@2 161 to the pale girl’s neck. Something wet rolled down ChibiUsa’s cheek down
rlm@2 162 to Hotaru’s, startling the pink haired girl. Slowly pulling away, a hand
rlm@2 163 went
rlm@2 164 to her face. Another tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m crying? Why am I
rlm@2 165 crying?” she asked herself in a daze. The pink haired girl balled up her
rlm@2 166 fists
rlm@2 167 in frustration, shutting her eyes tightly as a wave of sadness swept through
rlm@2 168 her body. An icy pit formed in her stomach as more tears started falling.
rlm@2 169 ‘I’m supposed to be happy. I’ve got everything I could ever want. I have
rlm@2 170 you, Hota-chan. I love you.” A sob punctuated her declaration of love, her
rlm@2 171 hand wiping at the still forming tears in her crimson eyes.
rlm@2 172 Looking down at Hotaru, ChibiUsa’s fingers lightly brushed her
rlm@2 173 cheek again. Part of her wanted to wake the sleeping angel, to try to tell
rlm@2 174 her
rlm@2 175 the jumble of emotions going through her. But she couldn’t bring herself to
rlm@2 176 wake the raven haired girl up. Each time she’d try, she stopped herself just
rlm@2 177 before she could. What would Hotaru think? She wouldn’t think… ChibiUsa
rlm@2 178 pulled her hand away from Hotaru’s pale skin as if burned. Selene’s words
rlm@2 179 burst into her mind. ‘That you didn’t love her enough…’ She shook her head
rlm@2 180 violently, her hands going through her pink hair as a lonely wail escaped
rlm@2 181 her lips. “That
rlm@2 182 can’t be it. It can’t be….” She desperately wanted to shake Hotaru awake, to
rlm@2 183 tell her just
rlm@2 184 how much she loved her, to here Hotaru tell her she knows, that she’s always
rlm@2 185 known. But
rlm@2 186 ChibiUsa still couldn’t bring herself to disturb the raven haired girl’s
rlm@2 187 peaceful slumber.
rlm@2 188 So often, Hotaru would look tormented in her sleep. This would just ruin one
rlm@2 189 of the few
rlm@2 190 restful slumbers that Hotaru’s had. “I’m being selfish, Hota-chan. I’ll be
rlm@2 191 okay. I can
rlm@2 192 handle this.”
rlm@2 193 With that, the future princess headed out the door of their bedroom,
rlm@2 194 padding
rlm@2 195 across the plush carpet. At first she didn’t know where she was going, but
rlm@2 196 she quickly
rlm@2 197 realized the path she was taking. The Mirror. Of course! How could she have
rlm@2 198 been so
rlm@2 199 blind? Michiru had lent ChibiUsa her hand mirror for their trip to the beach
rlm@2 200 house, telling
rlm@2 201 her the talisman would keep them safe. The mirror could show the truth, no
rlm@2 202 matter how
rlm@2 203 hidden it may be. She could easily look into that to see how deep her
rlm@2 204 feelings for Hotaru
rlm@2 205 ran. After proving them to her satisfaction, she could be off to bed and
rlm@2 206 cuddling with her
rlm@2 207 firefly. She grinned happily as she made her way to the mirror, lying unused
rlm@2 208 on a table in
rlm@2 209 the living room. ChibiUsa felt almost dizzy as she picked up the mirror. It
rlm@2 210 was cold to the
rlm@2 211 touch. Something in the back of her mind told her to put it down, that how
rlm@2 212 dare she
rlm@2 213 question their love. Afterall, it didn’t matter that Hotaru’s hair wasn’t
rlm@2 214 pink. She wet her
rlm@2 215 parched lips nervously, the icy pit in her stomach returning a hundred fold.
rlm@2 216 Holding the
rlm@2 217 mirror up, she gazed into it. Rather than a direct reflection, the image in
rlm@2 218 the mirror was of
rlm@2 219 her as a princess. The truth. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the warnings in
rlm@2 220 the back of
rlm@2 221 her head, ChibiUsa concentrated on the mirror. “Show me the depths of my
rlm@2 222 love.”
rlm@2 223
rlm@2 224 She ran, ignoring the sharp pain of rocks scraping against the skin of her
rlm@2 225 bare
rlm@2 226 feet, ignoring everything as she tried to get further and further away. Her
rlm@2 227 hair, let down
rlm@2 228 from its normal odango style for the night, trailed behind her past her
rlm@2 229 shoulders. Tears
rlm@2 230 blinded her, blurring her vision, but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered
rlm@2 231 anymore. Nothing.
rlm@2 232 Her frantic thoughts swirled about in her mind like a whirlwind, jumbled
rlm@2 233 beyond
rlm@2 234 coherency other than the deep pain she felt in her heart.
rlm@2 235 As she ran along the rocky cliff face, barely even realizing where she was.
rlm@2 236 She
rlm@2 237 wiped at her eyes desperately, stinging tears dripping wetly down her
rlm@2 238 cheeks. ‘Why?!
rlm@2 239 Why?’ she thought, over and over again, begging for an answer, any answer to
rlm@2 240 the pain
rlm@2 241 she felt. Her heart ached deeply, as if she’d been cut open by The Senshi of
rlm@2 242 Death and
rlm@2 243 Rebirth herself. Was that how she truly felt? Was that what was to happen?
rlm@2 244 She didn’t
rlm@2 245 return Hotaru’s feelings with half the blaze, half the sheer strength that
rlm@2 246 Hotaru had in her
rlm@2 247 love for her. ChibiUsa shuddered, feeling cold inside. As if she’d been
rlm@2 248 drowning in a
rlm@2 249 freezing river for so long and had only now opened her eyes. What could she
rlm@2 250 say to
rlm@2 251 Hotaru? Anything she could say would only hurt her, ChibiUsa was sure. She
rlm@2 252 hugged
rlm@2 253 herself tightly, her small body wracked by sobs as she continued her aimless
rlm@2 254 running, her
rlm@2 255 only thoughts to escape the horror of her thoughts.
rlm@2 256 So intent was she upon her fleeing that she never noticed where she was
rlm@2 257 running. The rocky ledge started to give way beneath her bare feet, a
rlm@2 258 breathless scream
rlm@2 259 trapped forever in her lips as she fell. The princess barely felt the
rlm@2 260 impact, everything
rlm@2 261 starting to fade out as she hit the shore below. She lay there, tears still
rlm@2 262 running down her
rlm@2 263 cheeks, not even realizing she was taking her dying breath. “Taru…”
rlm@2 264
rlm@2 265 “ChibiUsa-chan!! ChibiUsa-chan, where are you?! Please, please come back to
rlm@2 266 me, ChibiUsa-chan….” Hotaru slumped to her knees in defeat, her dark skirt
rlm@2 267 getting
rlm@2 268 sullied by the wet sand on the beach. Last night, ChibiUsa had seemed so
rlm@2 269 upset about
rlm@2 270 something. She’d gone out to look for the pink haired future princess in the
rlm@2 271 dark, but she
rlm@2 272 was nowhere to be found. Hotaru had hoped that she’d gone back to the beach
rlm@2 273 house, but
rlm@2 274 no such luck. She had finally cried herself to sleep when she had gotten
rlm@2 275 back to their
rlm@2 276 empty bed. Waking up, she had the false hope that she’d be in ChibiUsa’s
rlm@2 277 arms and that
rlm@2 278 everything would be alright again. Now she had to wonder if things would
rlm@2 279 ever be alright
rlm@2 280 from then on.
rlm@2 281 Her black tights and dark clothes barely kept back the biting cold wind
rlm@2 282 that blew
rlm@2 283 past her. Icy knives raked her face as she stumbled forward, wiping at her
rlm@2 284 eyes with her
rlm@2 285 long sleeve. “ChibiUsa-chan…” She wanted to give up, to go back inside the
rlm@2 286 warm house
rlm@2 287 and cry herself back to sleep. She hadn’t slept much the night before, so
rlm@2 288 why not? What
rlm@2 289 could she hope to find out here? Something inside her pushed her on,
rlm@2 290 spurring her
rlm@2 291 forward. Standing up again, the raven haired girl weakly made her way along
rlm@2 292 the beach.
rlm@2 293 She nearly lost her footing in the wet sand, but kept going after steadying
rlm@2 294 herself. She
rlm@2 295 trudged on and on, the lapping of the waves and the whistling of the wind
rlm@2 296 the only sounds
rlm@2 297 around her.
rlm@2 298 About to collapse from exhaustion, the raven haired girl’s attention was
rlm@2 299 caught
rlm@2 300 by something up ahead. Something pink. She squinted, trying to make out what
rlm@2 301 it could
rlm@2 302 be, praying that it was the girl she sought. She’d soon come to regret that
rlm@2 303 as her prayers
rlm@2 304 were answered. As she ran to the other girl, she quickly noticed that
rlm@2 305 ChibiUsa wasn’t
rlm@2 306 moving. Her pink hair was moving back and forth as the wind played with it.
rlm@2 307 Her
rlm@2 308 normally immaculate white nightgown was stained with the brown of the wet
rlm@2 309 sand and
rlm@2 310 streaks of crimson. Her body was lying in a heap, looking like a rag doll
rlm@2 311 that had been
rlm@2 312 thrown aside.
rlm@2 313 Hotaru ran as fast as she could, her heart catching in her chest. In her
rlm@2 314 haste, her
rlm@2 315 foot caught on a rock, forcing her to tumble to the ground. She got up and
rlm@2 316 pushed on,
rlm@2 317 despite the intense pain in her twisted ankle. It couldn’t rival the pain in
rlm@2 318 her heart.
rlm@2 319 “ChibiUsa-chan!!!” she cried out, almost expecting the pink haired girl to
rlm@2 320 sit up. Hot
rlm@2 321 tears poured down her cheeks as she fell to her knees besides the prone
rlm@2 322 future princess.
rlm@2 323 “ChibiUsa-chan, get up. Please, get up,” the dark haired girl sobbed as her
rlm@2 324 arms went
rlm@2 325 around the cold body of her one true love. She held ChibiUsa close, a tear
rlm@2 326 falling onto
rlm@2 327 ChibiUsa’s cheek. The pink haired girl’s face looked almost the same as it
rlm@2 328 had the night
rlm@2 329 before. Her large crimson eyes were glassy and looking up at Hotaru, her
rlm@2 330 normally
rlm@2 331 vibrant cheeks now pale. Hotaru clutched onto ChibiUsa in her grief. She
rlm@2 332 felt as if her
rlm@2 333 heart had been torn from her chest. As if a piece of her, the most important
rlm@2 334 piece, had
rlm@2 335 been taken from her. “ChibiUsa-chan… Don’t leave me alone… I’m scared to be
rlm@2 336 alone..
rlm@2 337 I need you with me, ChibiUsa-chan… I need you…” she barely managed to get
rlm@2 338 out
rlm@2 339 through heart wrenching sobs. The painful realization that her lover was now
rlm@2 340 dead kept
rlm@2 341 trying to impose itself on her mind, but she clung to the hope that she’d be
rlm@2 342 okay, that she
rlm@2 343 would get up in her arms, returning the embrace.
rlm@2 344 Hotaru stayed that way for a long time, ignoring everything around her as
rlm@2 345 she
rlm@2 346 held the dead princess tightly against her. “Its like she’s asleep… She’s so
rlm@2 347 pretty when
rlm@2 348 she’s asleep… Its like you’re taking a nap, ChibiUsa-chan. You sleep well,
rlm@2 349 and I’ll be
rlm@2 350 here when you wake up… I’ll always be here when you awake. Because…” The
rlm@2 351 dark
rlm@2 352 haired girl looked intently at the lost love in her arms, tears still
rlm@2 353 streaming down her
rlm@2 354 cheeks. “I love you.”
rlm@2 355
rlm@2 356 A few hours later, a blue sports car stopped in front of the beach house.
rlm@2 357 A woman with sandy blonde hair stepped out of the car, holding her jacket
rlm@2 358 tightly
rlm@2 359 around her as the sea breeze came in. Smiling to herself, she reached back
rlm@2 360 in
rlm@2 361 the car and pulled out the last of ChibiUsa’s birthday presents, lovingly
rlm@2 362 wrapped
rlm@2 363 in a deep violet wrapping paper with black lace ribbons. Hotaru had
rlm@2 364 forgotten the
rlm@2 365 present she had been going to give ChibiUsa in her haste and Haruka hadn't
rlm@2 366 found it in the back of her car until she was well back to the city. She'd
rlm@2 367 decided to
rlm@2 368 stop by the next day and return it to her daughter to give to the ChibiUsa.
rlm@2 369 Cinching her jacket around her, the tall woman made her way to the door of
rlm@2 370 the
rlm@2 371 beach house and knocked on the door. “Hime-chan! Its me, Haruka-papa,” she
rlm@2 372 said after a few moments. There was no answer. Haruka frowned and tried the
rlm@2 373 door. She began to worry as the unlocked door opened. What could have
rlm@2 374 happened to the two girls? She commanded herself to stop worrying. They were
rlm@2 375 probably at the beach and left the door open for when they’d come back in.
rlm@2 376 Something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She
rlm@2 377 instantly recognized it as Michiru’s mirror. It was lying on the floor near
rlm@2 378 one of the
rlm@2 379 tables in the living room as if someone had thrown in aside in a hurry.
rlm@2 380 Haruka’s
rlm@2 381 heart started beating faster as she quickly searched the beach house. Her
rlm@2 382 surrogate daughter and the future princess were nowhere to be found. Rather
rlm@2 383 than waste time panicking, the blonde woman rushed out of the house, intent
rlm@2 384 on
rlm@2 385 finding the two girls. Trudging out towards the beach, she couldn’t help but
rlm@2 386 shiver
rlm@2 387 as the biting wind increased. It was too cold to be swimming. They couldn’t
rlm@2 388 be
rlm@2 389 out here for that. Then why… Haruka shook her head. She wouldn’t allow
rlm@2 390 herself
rlm@2 391 to assume the worst yet. First things first. She had to find them.
rlm@2 392 After what felt like hours of walking, but must have been considerably
rlm@2 393 less, Haruka thought she heard a faint voice being carried by the wind. A
rlm@2 394 voice
rlm@2 395 filled with utter despair and hopelessness. A voice that had lost any of the
rlm@2 396 joy
rlm@2 397 and wonder life had to offer. At first, she thought it was only the wind,
rlm@2 398 but the soft
rlm@2 399 voice continued. Haruka finally caught sight of a girl dressed entirely in
rlm@2 400 black, her
rlm@2 401 rave hair being whipped around by the wind as she clutched onto something
rlm@2 402 protectively. The blonde woman ran to her surrogate daughter, determined to
rlm@2 403 make sure everything was okay. He stopped dead in her tracks when she saw
rlm@2 404 the lifeless form of a once happy pink haired girl in Hotaru’s arms. “My
rlm@2 405 God….”
rlm@2 406 She gasped.
rlm@2 407 Hotaru didn’t even look up, not noticing her Haruka-papa’s arrival. “So
rlm@2 408 pretty when you sleep like this. And I’ll watch over you forever, my
rlm@2 409 sleeping
rlm@2 410 beauty….” Hotaru’s fingers gently brushed over ChibiUsa’s cold lips as she
rlm@2 411 continued rambling semi-coherently. “Forever.”
rlm@2 412
rlm@2 413
rlm@2 414 "It's so cold..." .
rlm@2 415 Ever since what had happened, Hotaru kept a nearly steady monologue.
rlm@2 416 The silence meant she was alone again.. always alone.. forever.. And she
rlm@2 417 didn't
rlm@2 418 want to be left alone. Not now, not ever. Everything that had happened..
rlm@2 419 it
rlm@2 420 was like a whole new person. "It's not me. Silly. I'm watching myself..
rlm@2 421 like
rlm@2 422 on a screen..."
rlm@2 423 All around her, the room seemed bare, stripped of everything. Her
rlm@2 424 normally dark room was even darker without the beautiful shining lamps to
rlm@2 425 soften
rlm@2 426 it. "But the lamps were too dangerous, ne, Michiru-mama? You wouldn't want
rlm@2 427 me
rlm@2 428 to break one and use the glass to slit my wrists. You want me to suffer.."
rlm@2 429 The dark-haired girl, long out of tears, looked over everything she had
rlm@2 430 left. The bed was bare, so she couldn't strangle herself with the sheets.
rlm@2 431 Her
rlm@2 432 beautiful lamps had been replaced by three solemn candles. She only had her
rlm@2 433 books.. her only escape for so many years before was her only option now.
rlm@2 434 Or..
rlm@2 435 That seemed a lifetime ago to the grief-stricken girl. "Oh, back then,
rlm@2 436 no-one cared if I lived or I died.. Kaori-baka would've been GLAD to see me
rlm@2 437 go.
rlm@2 438 And.. if I'd died then... she wouldn't..." Closing her eyes tight and
rlm@2 439 trying
rlm@2 440 to remove the image from her mind, she thought over her options. Ever since
rlm@2 441 her parents set up this suicide watch, after that first night alone, she'd
rlm@2 442 had
rlm@2 443 no privacy, not even a chance to mourn in peace. She'd just been almost
rlm@2 444 locked
rlm@2 445 in her room, from how they treated her outside it, and even then one of them
rlm@2 446 would check on her every few minutes, even if she was asleep.
rlm@2 447 All she had left were her books..
rlm@2 448 "They say history repeats.. I know.. I watched it.. over and over.. An
rlm@2 449 endless loop. I was alone then.. I'm alone now.. oh, ChibiUsa-chan.. why
rlm@2 450 couldn't I have died instead?"
rlm@2 451 The desk was gone. The shelves, the table, the chairs - all taken out.
rlm@2 452 All that was left were her books and her bed.. and the candles. Near a
rlm@2 453 corner,
rlm@2 454 the remains of her diary sat. She'd tried to communicate that way, writing
rlm@2 455 everything using the stub of a pencil Setsuna-mama had finally agreed to
rlm@2 456 give
rlm@2 457 her. After the first hundred pages or so, she'd realized she wasn't making
rlm@2 458 any
rlm@2 459 sense at all, and questioned the point of it. But, then again, what were
rlm@2 460 all
rlm@2 461 of her diaries for? All the secrets, every little thing, kept in meticulous
rlm@2 462 detail... "No-one could understand. I couldn't let them understnd. They'd
rlm@2 463 see
rlm@2 464 and they wouldn't understand.. the only person who could ever understand is
rlm@2 465 dead. Saturn! Where are you now? If you're truly the Messiah, reigning
rlm@2 466 over
rlm@2 467 Death and Rebirth, then tell me why!"
rlm@2 468 But, then, an idea came.. and in her broken mind, with its broken soul,
rlm@2 469 living a lifeless shell in a grey world without even the comfort of trust,
rlm@2 470 it
rlm@2 471 made perfect sense.
rlm@2 472 No-one would understand. So why let them try?
rlm@2 473 She stood, shakily, blinking and wiping her bloodshot eyes. It would
rlm@2 474 still be a few minutes at least, until someone checked on her. Praying it
rlm@2 475 would be long enough, she set to work, seperating her books from her diaries
rlm@2 476 and journals, her secrets.. Making a pile, she begin to organize it all,
rlm@2 477 bit
rlm@2 478 by bit, working slowly and carefully. It was almost time.
rlm@2 479 Her work was interrupted by a knock at her door. "Hime-chan? Is
rlm@2 480 everything okay?" It was Haruka-papa, come to make sure she hadn't died.
rlm@2 481 Not responding, she waited for the blonde woman to open the door and
rlm@2 482 check. "Hime-chan?" The door slowly creaked open, and Haruka stuck her
rlm@2 483 head
rlm@2 484 inside. "I know it's hard for you, Hime-chan. But we have to be sure."
rlm@2 485 When
rlm@2 486 Hotaru didn't even bother to look up, Haruka just sighed and shut the door
rlm@2 487 again.
rlm@2 488 Alone once more, the girl set her plan into motion. Tearing pages out,
rlm@2 489 shredding some, pulling some into strips, leaving some notebooks whole, she
rlm@2 490 prepared. All of her work, everything she had left, everything she was.. it
rlm@2 491 was all here. And with a touch of the candle..
rlm@2 492 It took a minute or so to catch. Hotaru blew on the small fire,
rlm@2 493 letting it grow at its own pace. She knew that the smoke alarm's batteries
rlm@2 494 had
rlm@2 495 been dead for weeks, and since everyone was asleep or downstairs, there'd be
rlm@2 496 no-one to stop her. Page by page, she fed the fire.. whole years of her
rlm@2 497 life,
rlm@2 498 burning away. "It's warm, ChibiUsa-chan.. can you feel it? It's not like
rlm@2 499 everything else.. This is how it has to be, now. If I can't die.. I'll
rlm@2 500 make
rlm@2 501 it so I was never around in the first place. Without these for people to
rlm@2 502 remember me by, I'll just fade away. No-one cares but you, ChibiUsa-chan..
rlm@2 503 no-one.... They want me to live on, forget the past. Find someone to
rlm@2 504 console
rlm@2 505 me and love me. Be happy. I've never been happy, ChibiUsa-chan. I can't
rlm@2 506 ever
rlm@2 507 remember being happy. Not without you..."
rlm@2 508 The flickering flames glittered, reflected in her sad, tired eyes.. so
rlm@2 509 tired, so old.. dead.
rlm@2 510 The fire spread to the floor, spread through the room. By now, it was
rlm@2 511 quite obvious that the room was ablaze, if not the whole house. And Haruka,
rlm@2 512 just now noticing the smell, was quick to run up and check on her
rlm@2 513 dark-haired
rlm@2 514 princess. Sirens could be heard, off in the distance.. a neighbor saw the
rlm@2 515 flame, the firefighters would arrive soon.
rlm@2 516 Haruka arrived just in time to pull the firefly from the heart of the
rlm@2 517 fire before anything more than her hair and clothes were singed. The girl
rlm@2 518 was
rlm@2 519 unconscious, passed out from the lack of sleep and the fumes of the books'
rlm@2 520 bindings as they caught.
rlm@2 521
rlm@2 522 Two figures watched from the shadows.
rlm@2 523 Children.
rlm@2 524 It almost seemed they were part of the background.. a piece that
rlm@2 525 doesn't quite fit, that everyone overlooks..
rlm@2 526 One spoke. Her voice quiet, almost detached.
rlm@2 527 "Shisa?"
rlm@2 528 "Yes, Selene?"
rlm@2 529 "Do you think we went too far? I mean.."
rlm@2 530 They watched, as their mother was revived by her Haruka-papa. As she
rlm@2 531 was doomed to ever live, lifeless.
rlm@2 532 "Yes, Selene."
rlm@2 533 "Oh.. look, Shisa! I can see through us. We're fading.... Shisa?"
rlm@2 534 "Yes, Selene?"
rlm@2 535 "I am the wind.. look! Whoosh!"
rlm@2 536 A gust of wind came, as the window was broken in by a firefighter.
rlm@2 537 The two figures seemed to dissipate, with the smoke..
rlm@2 538