rlm@2: We’d like to thank Boco the Chokobo, because without his help, this story rlm@2: would never have been finished, especially not in time for ChibiUsa’s rlm@2: birthday. ^-^ rlm@2: rlm@2: Farewell rlm@2: By the Amazoness Quartet rlm@2: rlm@2: rlm@2: ChibiUsa sighed anxiously. It was a beautiful day outside, but that rlm@2: was far from her mind. A certain dark haired girl was the focus of it, but rlm@2: that wasn't anything new. She was waiting for Hotaru to finish getting rlm@2: dressed so they could leave for Hotaru's father's beach house where they'd rlm@2: spend the next few days together. Alone this time. ChibiUsa couldn't help rlm@2: but smile at the idea of being alone with Hotaru. She'd already had a rlm@2: birthday party earlier today with the others and now she'd be able to enjoy rlm@2: the rest of it with the one person she wished to share everything with. rlm@2: rlm@2: A wailing noise snapped her out of her thoughts. It took her a rlm@2: moment to realize it was the sound of a child crying. Knowing that both of rlm@2: their twin daughters that had come back from the future were somewhere rlm@2: in the house, it had to be something wrong for one of them. Heading down rlm@2: the stairs quickly, she tried to pinpoint where the sobbing was coming from. rlm@2: Selene looked up teary eyed at ChibiUsa. The future princess kneeled down rlm@2: worriedly next to the younger girl. “Selene, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” rlm@2: Selene just wiped at her eyes tearfully, taking a shuddering breath before rlm@2: looking up at her the woman that would one day be her mother. rlm@2: “ChibiUsa-mama, do you rlm@2: really love Hotaru-mama?” she asked in almost a hushed whisper. rlm@2: ChibiUsa was taken aback. Why did the little girl ask that? Was there any rlm@2: question? Brushing a hand through her pink hair, she just blinked a few rlm@2: times. “Of course rlm@2: I do. She’s everything to me.” rlm@2: Selene sniffled, wiping her eyes shakily with the back of her hand. rlm@2: “Re…Really?” rlm@2: The pink haired girl nodded quickly to dispel the younger girl’s fears, rlm@2: wiping a rlm@2: tear from her cheek. She smiled gently at Selene. “Really. She’s everything rlm@2: to me. I love rlm@2: your Hotaru-mama with all my heart.” This seemed to appease the younger rlm@2: girl, drawing rlm@2: forth a small smile from her. ChibiUsa smiled softly, but something still rlm@2: concerned her. rlm@2: Something felt wrong… “Why did you ask?” rlm@2: The dark haired odangoed girl rubbed at her eyes with small fists before rlm@2: looking rlm@2: up at ChibiUsa again. “An angel told me. She was really pretty, with pink rlm@2: hair kinda like rlm@2: yours, but it was past her shoulders. She was all shimmery and had a white rlm@2: dress on that rlm@2: was really long and pretty, too. She said that it wasn’t enough.” rlm@2: “That what wasn’t enough?” ChibiUsa asked encouragingly, wanting to know rlm@2: what had gotten the younger girl so upset. rlm@2: “That you didn’t love her enough…” Selene said quietly, looking down. rlm@2: ChibiUsa shook her head emphatically. “No, that’s absurd. I love Hotaru rlm@2: more rlm@2: than anything. How could I not love her enough?” she demanded, her heart rlm@2: starting to rlm@2: ache from the very idea. rlm@2: “I.. I don’t know…” Selene barely got out, on the verge of tears. rlm@2: ChibiUsa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. It was nothing, just a rlm@2: figment of rlm@2: Selene’s imagination. Sure it was kind of odd, but that was just not even rlm@2: worth worrying rlm@2: about. Of course she loved Hotaru enough. She slowly smiled again, hugging rlm@2: the smaller rlm@2: girl. “It’s going to be alright, Selene. Whatever it was, it was wrong. I rlm@2: love Hotaru with rlm@2: all my heart.” ChibiUsa’s words reassured both herself and Selene. Smiling a rlm@2: little rlm@2: brighter, ChibiUsa tilted her head to the side. “Want to get some ice cream? rlm@2: We can rlm@2: forget all about this.” rlm@2: Selene jumped up and down excitedly. “Hai!! Thanks, ChibiUsa-mama! You’re rlm@2: the best!” She hugged ChibiUsa tightly, already starting to forget her odd rlm@2: vision. rlm@2: rlm@2: They were finally alone. That was the first thought that ran through rlm@2: ChibiUsa’s rlm@2: head as she walked hand in hand with Hotaru to the beach house. In the rlm@2: distance, the two rlm@2: could hear Haruka’s car driving off. She’d be there to pick them up in a few rlm@2: days. In the rlm@2: meantime, that left the lovers alone with each other at the beach house. No rlm@2: children, no rlm@2: schoolwork, no responsibility. Juts the wonderful feeling of being together. rlm@2: They had rlm@2: come out here to be alone, a birthday present Hotaru had given her so they rlm@2: could spend rlm@2: the next few days together without a care in the world. ChibiUsa smiled rlm@2: brightly at the rlm@2: dark haired girl, squeezing her hand slightly. The pale girl’s hand rlm@2: squeezed back as rlm@2: Hotaru turned to her with a smile. rlm@2: As they stood in front of the doors, ChibiUsa felt an almost overwhelming rlm@2: sense rlm@2: of fear and regret overtake her. As if her whole life would change by rlm@2: walking through rlm@2: those doors. She leaned against Hotaru, holding her arm tightly. rlm@2: “ChibiUsa-chan?” Hotaru looked at her worriedly. Her usually cheerful rlm@2: complexion was now deathly pale. Hotaru’s arm started to ache from the death rlm@2: grip rlm@2: ChibiUsa had on it. The raven haired girl started to panic, barely holding rlm@2: herself in check rlm@2: for ChibiUsa’s sake. This was so unlike the vibrant future princess. What rlm@2: could be so rlm@2: horribly wrong? rlm@2: Taking a deep, soothing breath, ChibiUsa smiled calmly at Hotaru, rlm@2: suppressing rlm@2: the wave of emotions that had passed over her. “Its nothing. I just haven’t rlm@2: been getting rlm@2: much sleep lately because of the twins. And Kousagi’s been keeping me up rlm@2: whenever rlm@2: I’m at my house, so that’s it.” She giggled at the skeptical look Hotaru rlm@2: threw her. rlm@2: “Really, its nothing. You worry too much, Hota-chan. Let’s just enjoy rlm@2: ourselves. You and rlm@2: me.” rlm@2: Beautiful crimson eyes gazed brightly at her as the future princess’s arm rlm@2: went rlm@2: around Hotaru’s waist. Hotaru felt herself relaxing in ChibiUsa’s grasp. If rlm@2: ChibiUsa was rlm@2: okay, then there really wasn’t anything for her to be worrying about. The rlm@2: nervousness rlm@2: slowly started to ebb away, replaced by a warm feeling her heart as her rlm@2: violet eyes befell rlm@2: the pink haired goddess before her. Hotaru smiled softly. “Hai, its your rlm@2: birthday, so if rlm@2: that’s what you want to do, I’m all for it.” Leaning forward, her lips rlm@2: lightly brushed rlm@2: ChibiUsa’s. “Happy birthday, Odango-chan.” rlm@2: “I can’t think of a better way to spend my birthday,” ChibiUsa said, rlm@2: grinning. rlm@2: rlm@2: ChibiUsa rolled over for what had to be the eighth time that night. rlm@2: No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get to sleep. And that usually rlm@2: wasn't a problem for her whenever she had Hotaru right beside her. Their rlm@2: clothes lay scattered on the floor, their bodies entangled under the sheets. rlm@2: ChibiUsa held the frail girl close, the feel of her bare skin reminding her rlm@2: of the passionate moment they'd shared not long ago. The raven haired girl, rlm@2: who had enough trouble sleeping normally, was fast asleep next to her. She rlm@2: was tired after what they'd done, but she couldn't get to sleep. Closing her rlm@2: eyes just made matters worse. She sighed, her hands covering her face in rlm@2: frustration. Why was it bothering her? She knew she loved Hotaru, that's rlm@2: all that mattered. So why couldn't she get to sleep? All day, Hotaru had rlm@2: been rlm@2: pretending nothing was wrong, trying to hide her worry while ChibiUsa had rlm@2: been dancing around the subject and trying to reassure Hotaru that rlm@2: everything was alright. Neither had been able to enjoy themselves because rlm@2: of how she was acting. Sitting up in bed, the pink haired girl slowly rlm@2: disentangled herself from her sleeping lover. She knew she wouldn’t be rlm@2: getting any sleep tonight. rlm@2: Her thoughts in a jumble, ChibiUsa slipped off the bed, her toes rlm@2: moving against the soft feel of the carpet. Tilting her head to the side, rlm@2: ChibiUsa gazed at the raven haired girl alone in the bed for a what felt rlm@2: like rlm@2: an eternity. Her fingers gingerly followed the contours of Hotaru’s rlm@2: beautiful rlm@2: face, brushing past her soft lips, warm cheeks, and finally through rlm@2: midnight black hair. She leaned down, brushing some of Hotaru’s dark hair rlm@2: back. Her lips gently pressed against Hotaru’s as her fingers stroked down rlm@2: to the pale girl’s neck. Something wet rolled down ChibiUsa’s cheek down rlm@2: to Hotaru’s, startling the pink haired girl. Slowly pulling away, a hand rlm@2: went rlm@2: to her face. Another tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m crying? Why am I rlm@2: crying?” she asked herself in a daze. The pink haired girl balled up her rlm@2: fists rlm@2: in frustration, shutting her eyes tightly as a wave of sadness swept through rlm@2: her body. An icy pit formed in her stomach as more tears started falling. rlm@2: ‘I’m supposed to be happy. I’ve got everything I could ever want. I have rlm@2: you, Hota-chan. I love you.” A sob punctuated her declaration of love, her rlm@2: hand wiping at the still forming tears in her crimson eyes. rlm@2: Looking down at Hotaru, ChibiUsa’s fingers lightly brushed her rlm@2: cheek again. Part of her wanted to wake the sleeping angel, to try to tell rlm@2: her rlm@2: the jumble of emotions going through her. But she couldn’t bring herself to rlm@2: wake the raven haired girl up. Each time she’d try, she stopped herself just rlm@2: before she could. What would Hotaru think? She wouldn’t think… ChibiUsa rlm@2: pulled her hand away from Hotaru’s pale skin as if burned. Selene’s words rlm@2: burst into her mind. ‘That you didn’t love her enough…’ She shook her head rlm@2: violently, her hands going through her pink hair as a lonely wail escaped rlm@2: her lips. “That rlm@2: can’t be it. It can’t be….” She desperately wanted to shake Hotaru awake, to rlm@2: tell her just rlm@2: how much she loved her, to here Hotaru tell her she knows, that she’s always rlm@2: known. But rlm@2: ChibiUsa still couldn’t bring herself to disturb the raven haired girl’s rlm@2: peaceful slumber. rlm@2: So often, Hotaru would look tormented in her sleep. This would just ruin one rlm@2: of the few rlm@2: restful slumbers that Hotaru’s had. “I’m being selfish, Hota-chan. I’ll be rlm@2: okay. I can rlm@2: handle this.” rlm@2: With that, the future princess headed out the door of their bedroom, rlm@2: padding rlm@2: across the plush carpet. At first she didn’t know where she was going, but rlm@2: she quickly rlm@2: realized the path she was taking. The Mirror. Of course! How could she have rlm@2: been so rlm@2: blind? Michiru had lent ChibiUsa her hand mirror for their trip to the beach rlm@2: house, telling rlm@2: her the talisman would keep them safe. The mirror could show the truth, no rlm@2: matter how rlm@2: hidden it may be. She could easily look into that to see how deep her rlm@2: feelings for Hotaru rlm@2: ran. After proving them to her satisfaction, she could be off to bed and rlm@2: cuddling with her rlm@2: firefly. She grinned happily as she made her way to the mirror, lying unused rlm@2: on a table in rlm@2: the living room. ChibiUsa felt almost dizzy as she picked up the mirror. It rlm@2: was cold to the rlm@2: touch. Something in the back of her mind told her to put it down, that how rlm@2: dare she rlm@2: question their love. Afterall, it didn’t matter that Hotaru’s hair wasn’t rlm@2: pink. She wet her rlm@2: parched lips nervously, the icy pit in her stomach returning a hundred fold. rlm@2: Holding the rlm@2: mirror up, she gazed into it. Rather than a direct reflection, the image in rlm@2: the mirror was of rlm@2: her as a princess. The truth. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the warnings in rlm@2: the back of rlm@2: her head, ChibiUsa concentrated on the mirror. “Show me the depths of my rlm@2: love.” rlm@2: rlm@2: She ran, ignoring the sharp pain of rocks scraping against the skin of her rlm@2: bare rlm@2: feet, ignoring everything as she tried to get further and further away. Her rlm@2: hair, let down rlm@2: from its normal odango style for the night, trailed behind her past her rlm@2: shoulders. Tears rlm@2: blinded her, blurring her vision, but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered rlm@2: anymore. Nothing. rlm@2: Her frantic thoughts swirled about in her mind like a whirlwind, jumbled rlm@2: beyond rlm@2: coherency other than the deep pain she felt in her heart. rlm@2: As she ran along the rocky cliff face, barely even realizing where she was. rlm@2: She rlm@2: wiped at her eyes desperately, stinging tears dripping wetly down her rlm@2: cheeks. ‘Why?! rlm@2: Why?’ she thought, over and over again, begging for an answer, any answer to rlm@2: the pain rlm@2: she felt. Her heart ached deeply, as if she’d been cut open by The Senshi of rlm@2: Death and rlm@2: Rebirth herself. Was that how she truly felt? Was that what was to happen? rlm@2: She didn’t rlm@2: return Hotaru’s feelings with half the blaze, half the sheer strength that rlm@2: Hotaru had in her rlm@2: love for her. ChibiUsa shuddered, feeling cold inside. As if she’d been rlm@2: drowning in a rlm@2: freezing river for so long and had only now opened her eyes. What could she rlm@2: say to rlm@2: Hotaru? Anything she could say would only hurt her, ChibiUsa was sure. She rlm@2: hugged rlm@2: herself tightly, her small body wracked by sobs as she continued her aimless rlm@2: running, her rlm@2: only thoughts to escape the horror of her thoughts. rlm@2: So intent was she upon her fleeing that she never noticed where she was rlm@2: running. The rocky ledge started to give way beneath her bare feet, a rlm@2: breathless scream rlm@2: trapped forever in her lips as she fell. The princess barely felt the rlm@2: impact, everything rlm@2: starting to fade out as she hit the shore below. She lay there, tears still rlm@2: running down her rlm@2: cheeks, not even realizing she was taking her dying breath. “Taru…” rlm@2: rlm@2: “ChibiUsa-chan!! ChibiUsa-chan, where are you?! Please, please come back to rlm@2: me, ChibiUsa-chan….” Hotaru slumped to her knees in defeat, her dark skirt rlm@2: getting rlm@2: sullied by the wet sand on the beach. Last night, ChibiUsa had seemed so rlm@2: upset about rlm@2: something. She’d gone out to look for the pink haired future princess in the rlm@2: dark, but she rlm@2: was nowhere to be found. Hotaru had hoped that she’d gone back to the beach rlm@2: house, but rlm@2: no such luck. She had finally cried herself to sleep when she had gotten rlm@2: back to their rlm@2: empty bed. Waking up, she had the false hope that she’d be in ChibiUsa’s rlm@2: arms and that rlm@2: everything would be alright again. Now she had to wonder if things would rlm@2: ever be alright rlm@2: from then on. rlm@2: Her black tights and dark clothes barely kept back the biting cold wind rlm@2: that blew rlm@2: past her. Icy knives raked her face as she stumbled forward, wiping at her rlm@2: eyes with her rlm@2: long sleeve. “ChibiUsa-chan…” She wanted to give up, to go back inside the rlm@2: warm house rlm@2: and cry herself back to sleep. She hadn’t slept much the night before, so rlm@2: why not? What rlm@2: could she hope to find out here? Something inside her pushed her on, rlm@2: spurring her rlm@2: forward. Standing up again, the raven haired girl weakly made her way along rlm@2: the beach. rlm@2: She nearly lost her footing in the wet sand, but kept going after steadying rlm@2: herself. She rlm@2: trudged on and on, the lapping of the waves and the whistling of the wind rlm@2: the only sounds rlm@2: around her. rlm@2: About to collapse from exhaustion, the raven haired girl’s attention was rlm@2: caught rlm@2: by something up ahead. Something pink. She squinted, trying to make out what rlm@2: it could rlm@2: be, praying that it was the girl she sought. She’d soon come to regret that rlm@2: as her prayers rlm@2: were answered. As she ran to the other girl, she quickly noticed that rlm@2: ChibiUsa wasn’t rlm@2: moving. Her pink hair was moving back and forth as the wind played with it. rlm@2: Her rlm@2: normally immaculate white nightgown was stained with the brown of the wet rlm@2: sand and rlm@2: streaks of crimson. Her body was lying in a heap, looking like a rag doll rlm@2: that had been rlm@2: thrown aside. rlm@2: Hotaru ran as fast as she could, her heart catching in her chest. In her rlm@2: haste, her rlm@2: foot caught on a rock, forcing her to tumble to the ground. She got up and rlm@2: pushed on, rlm@2: despite the intense pain in her twisted ankle. It couldn’t rival the pain in rlm@2: her heart. rlm@2: “ChibiUsa-chan!!!” she cried out, almost expecting the pink haired girl to rlm@2: sit up. Hot rlm@2: tears poured down her cheeks as she fell to her knees besides the prone rlm@2: future princess. rlm@2: “ChibiUsa-chan, get up. Please, get up,” the dark haired girl sobbed as her rlm@2: arms went rlm@2: around the cold body of her one true love. She held ChibiUsa close, a tear rlm@2: falling onto rlm@2: ChibiUsa’s cheek. The pink haired girl’s face looked almost the same as it rlm@2: had the night rlm@2: before. Her large crimson eyes were glassy and looking up at Hotaru, her rlm@2: normally rlm@2: vibrant cheeks now pale. Hotaru clutched onto ChibiUsa in her grief. She rlm@2: felt as if her rlm@2: heart had been torn from her chest. As if a piece of her, the most important rlm@2: piece, had rlm@2: been taken from her. “ChibiUsa-chan… Don’t leave me alone… I’m scared to be rlm@2: alone.. rlm@2: I need you with me, ChibiUsa-chan… I need you…” she barely managed to get rlm@2: out rlm@2: through heart wrenching sobs. The painful realization that her lover was now rlm@2: dead kept rlm@2: trying to impose itself on her mind, but she clung to the hope that she’d be rlm@2: okay, that she rlm@2: would get up in her arms, returning the embrace. rlm@2: Hotaru stayed that way for a long time, ignoring everything around her as rlm@2: she rlm@2: held the dead princess tightly against her. “Its like she’s asleep… She’s so rlm@2: pretty when rlm@2: she’s asleep… Its like you’re taking a nap, ChibiUsa-chan. You sleep well, rlm@2: and I’ll be rlm@2: here when you wake up… I’ll always be here when you awake. Because…” The rlm@2: dark rlm@2: haired girl looked intently at the lost love in her arms, tears still rlm@2: streaming down her rlm@2: cheeks. “I love you.” rlm@2: rlm@2: A few hours later, a blue sports car stopped in front of the beach house. rlm@2: A woman with sandy blonde hair stepped out of the car, holding her jacket rlm@2: tightly rlm@2: around her as the sea breeze came in. Smiling to herself, she reached back rlm@2: in rlm@2: the car and pulled out the last of ChibiUsa’s birthday presents, lovingly rlm@2: wrapped rlm@2: in a deep violet wrapping paper with black lace ribbons. Hotaru had rlm@2: forgotten the rlm@2: present she had been going to give ChibiUsa in her haste and Haruka hadn't rlm@2: found it in the back of her car until she was well back to the city. She'd rlm@2: decided to rlm@2: stop by the next day and return it to her daughter to give to the ChibiUsa. rlm@2: Cinching her jacket around her, the tall woman made her way to the door of rlm@2: the rlm@2: beach house and knocked on the door. “Hime-chan! Its me, Haruka-papa,” she rlm@2: said after a few moments. There was no answer. Haruka frowned and tried the rlm@2: door. She began to worry as the unlocked door opened. What could have rlm@2: happened to the two girls? She commanded herself to stop worrying. They were rlm@2: probably at the beach and left the door open for when they’d come back in. rlm@2: Something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She rlm@2: instantly recognized it as Michiru’s mirror. It was lying on the floor near rlm@2: one of the rlm@2: tables in the living room as if someone had thrown in aside in a hurry. rlm@2: Haruka’s rlm@2: heart started beating faster as she quickly searched the beach house. Her rlm@2: surrogate daughter and the future princess were nowhere to be found. Rather rlm@2: than waste time panicking, the blonde woman rushed out of the house, intent rlm@2: on rlm@2: finding the two girls. Trudging out towards the beach, she couldn’t help but rlm@2: shiver rlm@2: as the biting wind increased. It was too cold to be swimming. They couldn’t rlm@2: be rlm@2: out here for that. Then why… Haruka shook her head. She wouldn’t allow rlm@2: herself rlm@2: to assume the worst yet. First things first. She had to find them. rlm@2: After what felt like hours of walking, but must have been considerably rlm@2: less, Haruka thought she heard a faint voice being carried by the wind. A rlm@2: voice rlm@2: filled with utter despair and hopelessness. A voice that had lost any of the rlm@2: joy rlm@2: and wonder life had to offer. At first, she thought it was only the wind, rlm@2: but the soft rlm@2: voice continued. Haruka finally caught sight of a girl dressed entirely in rlm@2: black, her rlm@2: rave hair being whipped around by the wind as she clutched onto something rlm@2: protectively. The blonde woman ran to her surrogate daughter, determined to rlm@2: make sure everything was okay. He stopped dead in her tracks when she saw rlm@2: the lifeless form of a once happy pink haired girl in Hotaru’s arms. “My rlm@2: God….” rlm@2: She gasped. rlm@2: Hotaru didn’t even look up, not noticing her Haruka-papa’s arrival. “So rlm@2: pretty when you sleep like this. And I’ll watch over you forever, my rlm@2: sleeping rlm@2: beauty….” Hotaru’s fingers gently brushed over ChibiUsa’s cold lips as she rlm@2: continued rambling semi-coherently. “Forever.” rlm@2: rlm@2: rlm@2: "It's so cold..." . rlm@2: Ever since what had happened, Hotaru kept a nearly steady monologue. rlm@2: The silence meant she was alone again.. always alone.. forever.. And she rlm@2: didn't rlm@2: want to be left alone. Not now, not ever. Everything that had happened.. rlm@2: it rlm@2: was like a whole new person. "It's not me. Silly. I'm watching myself.. rlm@2: like rlm@2: on a screen..." rlm@2: All around her, the room seemed bare, stripped of everything. Her rlm@2: normally dark room was even darker without the beautiful shining lamps to rlm@2: soften rlm@2: it. "But the lamps were too dangerous, ne, Michiru-mama? You wouldn't want rlm@2: me rlm@2: to break one and use the glass to slit my wrists. You want me to suffer.." rlm@2: The dark-haired girl, long out of tears, looked over everything she had rlm@2: left. The bed was bare, so she couldn't strangle herself with the sheets. rlm@2: Her rlm@2: beautiful lamps had been replaced by three solemn candles. She only had her rlm@2: books.. her only escape for so many years before was her only option now. rlm@2: Or.. rlm@2: That seemed a lifetime ago to the grief-stricken girl. "Oh, back then, rlm@2: no-one cared if I lived or I died.. Kaori-baka would've been GLAD to see me rlm@2: go. rlm@2: And.. if I'd died then... she wouldn't..." Closing her eyes tight and rlm@2: trying rlm@2: to remove the image from her mind, she thought over her options. Ever since rlm@2: her parents set up this suicide watch, after that first night alone, she'd rlm@2: had rlm@2: no privacy, not even a chance to mourn in peace. She'd just been almost rlm@2: locked rlm@2: in her room, from how they treated her outside it, and even then one of them rlm@2: would check on her every few minutes, even if she was asleep. rlm@2: All she had left were her books.. rlm@2: "They say history repeats.. I know.. I watched it.. over and over.. An rlm@2: endless loop. I was alone then.. I'm alone now.. oh, ChibiUsa-chan.. why rlm@2: couldn't I have died instead?" rlm@2: The desk was gone. The shelves, the table, the chairs - all taken out. rlm@2: All that was left were her books and her bed.. and the candles. Near a rlm@2: corner, rlm@2: the remains of her diary sat. She'd tried to communicate that way, writing rlm@2: everything using the stub of a pencil Setsuna-mama had finally agreed to rlm@2: give rlm@2: her. After the first hundred pages or so, she'd realized she wasn't making rlm@2: any rlm@2: sense at all, and questioned the point of it. But, then again, what were rlm@2: all rlm@2: of her diaries for? All the secrets, every little thing, kept in meticulous rlm@2: detail... "No-one could understand. I couldn't let them understnd. They'd rlm@2: see rlm@2: and they wouldn't understand.. the only person who could ever understand is rlm@2: dead. Saturn! Where are you now? If you're truly the Messiah, reigning rlm@2: over rlm@2: Death and Rebirth, then tell me why!" rlm@2: But, then, an idea came.. and in her broken mind, with its broken soul, rlm@2: living a lifeless shell in a grey world without even the comfort of trust, rlm@2: it rlm@2: made perfect sense. rlm@2: No-one would understand. So why let them try? rlm@2: She stood, shakily, blinking and wiping her bloodshot eyes. It would rlm@2: still be a few minutes at least, until someone checked on her. Praying it rlm@2: would be long enough, she set to work, seperating her books from her diaries rlm@2: and journals, her secrets.. Making a pile, she begin to organize it all, rlm@2: bit rlm@2: by bit, working slowly and carefully. It was almost time. rlm@2: Her work was interrupted by a knock at her door. "Hime-chan? Is rlm@2: everything okay?" It was Haruka-papa, come to make sure she hadn't died. rlm@2: Not responding, she waited for the blonde woman to open the door and rlm@2: check. "Hime-chan?" The door slowly creaked open, and Haruka stuck her rlm@2: head rlm@2: inside. "I know it's hard for you, Hime-chan. But we have to be sure." rlm@2: When rlm@2: Hotaru didn't even bother to look up, Haruka just sighed and shut the door rlm@2: again. rlm@2: Alone once more, the girl set her plan into motion. Tearing pages out, rlm@2: shredding some, pulling some into strips, leaving some notebooks whole, she rlm@2: prepared. All of her work, everything she had left, everything she was.. it rlm@2: was all here. And with a touch of the candle.. rlm@2: It took a minute or so to catch. Hotaru blew on the small fire, rlm@2: letting it grow at its own pace. She knew that the smoke alarm's batteries rlm@2: had rlm@2: been dead for weeks, and since everyone was asleep or downstairs, there'd be rlm@2: no-one to stop her. Page by page, she fed the fire.. whole years of her rlm@2: life, rlm@2: burning away. "It's warm, ChibiUsa-chan.. can you feel it? It's not like rlm@2: everything else.. This is how it has to be, now. If I can't die.. I'll rlm@2: make rlm@2: it so I was never around in the first place. Without these for people to rlm@2: remember me by, I'll just fade away. No-one cares but you, ChibiUsa-chan.. rlm@2: no-one.... They want me to live on, forget the past. Find someone to rlm@2: console rlm@2: me and love me. Be happy. I've never been happy, ChibiUsa-chan. I can't rlm@2: ever rlm@2: remember being happy. Not without you..." rlm@2: The flickering flames glittered, reflected in her sad, tired eyes.. so rlm@2: tired, so old.. dead. rlm@2: The fire spread to the floor, spread through the room. By now, it was rlm@2: quite obvious that the room was ablaze, if not the whole house. And Haruka, rlm@2: just now noticing the smell, was quick to run up and check on her rlm@2: dark-haired rlm@2: princess. Sirens could be heard, off in the distance.. a neighbor saw the rlm@2: flame, the firefighters would arrive soon. rlm@2: Haruka arrived just in time to pull the firefly from the heart of the rlm@2: fire before anything more than her hair and clothes were singed. The girl rlm@2: was rlm@2: unconscious, passed out from the lack of sleep and the fumes of the books' rlm@2: bindings as they caught. rlm@2: rlm@2: Two figures watched from the shadows. rlm@2: Children. rlm@2: It almost seemed they were part of the background.. a piece that rlm@2: doesn't quite fit, that everyone overlooks.. rlm@2: One spoke. Her voice quiet, almost detached. rlm@2: "Shisa?" rlm@2: "Yes, Selene?" rlm@2: "Do you think we went too far? I mean.." rlm@2: They watched, as their mother was revived by her Haruka-papa. As she rlm@2: was doomed to ever live, lifeless. rlm@2: "Yes, Selene." rlm@2: "Oh.. look, Shisa! I can see through us. We're fading.... Shisa?" rlm@2: "Yes, Selene?" rlm@2: "I am the wind.. look! Whoosh!" rlm@2: A gust of wind came, as the window was broken in by a firefighter. rlm@2: The two figures seemed to dissipate, with the smoke.. rlm@2: