annotate old/stories/dearsakura-25.txt @ 2:fc00894c1d4a moonlitnights

[svn r3] moved all the bad stuff to 'old'
author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
parents
children
rev   line source
rlm@2 1 "Ouch!" Sakura shook her finger in the air and then sucked on the
rlm@2 2 fingertip, tasting the salty tang of her own blood. How did Tomoyo do
rlm@2 3 all that sewing without ending up like a pincushion? Smiling
rlm@2 4 ruefully, she realized that her sewing skills were lacking because
rlm@2 5 she always depended on Tomoyo, her father, and even her brother for
rlm@2 6 most thread and needlework. She could mend a tear and put on a patch,
rlm@2 7 but the tailoring that her best friend did was simply beyond her. She
rlm@2 8 remembered early on as a Cardcaptor peeking into a company van and
rlm@2 9 seeing the spectacular wardrobe Tomoyo had prepared for her. At the
rlm@2 10 time, she concluded the massive resources of the Daidouji household,
rlm@2 11 or even Daidouji Toys, Ltd., had been marshaled and deployed to clad
rlm@2 12 her in a parade of kawaii regalia. Only later did she learn that
rlm@2 13 Tomoyo did every stitch herself. Through the years that followed, the
rlm@2 14 two girls spent hours together, talking and drinking tea while Tomoyo
rlm@2 15 fitted and altered the amazing creations. Being with the little
rlm@2 16 seamstress made precious an experience that would otherwise have been
rlm@2 17 tedious as Sakura stretched and posed while Tomoyo snipped and sewed.
rlm@2 18 For the Card Mistress it was a chance to talk about her loves and
rlm@2 19 fears and joys while the dark-haired girl listened, solemn and cheery
rlm@2 20 in turn. Tomoyo was as careful with her heart as with the delicate
rlm@2 21 fabrics that made up the costumes, and her carefully considered
rlm@2 22 advice and reassurance helped Sakura through many a difficult time.
rlm@2 23 As she sewed a strip of satin to trim the hem of the little yellow
rlm@2 24 dress Tomoyo had left in Hong Kong, Sakura began to grasp the
rlm@2 25 countless hours of labor that the quiet, pale girl had spent just to
rlm@2 26 make her look special.
rlm@2 27
rlm@2 28 Again she remembered that truck full of outfits Tomoyo unveiled
rlm@2 29 before they went to capture the Shadow card. There was a spectacular
rlm@2 30 array of over 50 costumes that ranged from the cute to the dramatic,
rlm@2 31 with the occasional practical piece thrown in for good measure. After
rlm@2 32 the terrifying exertions of capturing Shadow, Sakura had asked Tomoyo
rlm@2 33 how she got so many costumes ready so quickly. Tomoyo smiled
rlm@2 34 enigmatically and replied,
rlm@2 35
rlm@2 36 "Oh, I've been working on them for over a year".
rlm@2 37
rlm@2 38 Sakura gave the girl a baffled look and blurted out, "But you only
rlm@2 39 found out about me and Clow Cards a few days ago."
rlm@2 40
rlm@2 41 Tomoyo tilted her head, lavender hair blending into the dark,
rlm@2 42 moonless night as she answered in a musical voice, "I've always known
rlm@2 43 Sakura-chan was a magical girl.”
rlm@2 44
rlm@2 45 Sakura merely sweatdropped, dismissing this as one of her adoring
rlm@2 46 friend's many eccentricities. But now, years later, she was quietly
rlm@2 47 astonished. Long before the creations of Clow Reed had found her,
rlm@2 48 Tomoyo saw her as magical. Not for her power, or the cards she
rlm@2 49 captured, but for herself. Sakura smiled as she worked the needle
rlm@2 50 carefully through the gossamer material. From the day they met in
rlm@2 51 that third grade classroom, Tomoyo's love had been ever-present,
rlm@2 52 wrapped around Sakura’s heart like a comforting cocoon. She was
rlm@2 53 always special to the sapphire-eyed girl, long before she was the
rlm@2 54 Mistress of the Cards. Sakura paused, puzzled, the silver needle
rlm@2 55 poised in midair as she softly whispered,
rlm@2 56
rlm@2 57 "It's as if I was always her special person". She felt her face
rlm@2 58 flush scarlet: that wonderful flustery feeling of being loved by
rlm@2 59 Tomoyo. How she missed that in Hong Kong. The longing grew worse
rlm@2 60 every day without her. The ache in her breast was finally assuaged by
rlm@2 61 that enchanting visit, but her heart shattered watching the aircraft
rlm@2 62 spirit Tomoyo away. Her special person. Sakura stared at the fabric
rlm@2 63 in her lap, the last, unfinished design of her best friend. With a
rlm@2 64 grin, she shook her head and thought a little sadly, oh, to be her
rlm@2 65 special person for just one day! Sakura had been slow to realize the
rlm@2 66 depths of Tomoyo's love. Only distance, which clove the two friends
rlm@2 67 as nothing before, revealed how cruel separation could be. Without
rlm@2 68 the constant presence of that fulsome love, Sakura felt hopelessly
rlm@2 69 adrift. She tumbled into dark despair, with only her unrealized love
rlm@2 70 to light the way. Glowing like a little candle in the blackest night,
rlm@2 71 that love for Tomoyo finally blazed forth when she at last understood
rlm@2 72 her heart. And though she was not Tomoyo's special someone, that did
rlm@2 73 not affect her own love in the least. Even if Tomoyo did end up
rlm@2 74 happily with her special person, Sakura's love would shine forth like
rlm@2 75 a beacon through the pain of not having her. I'll love her no matter
rlm@2 76 what, she thought to herself. But I'll die if she leaves me.
rlm@2 77
rlm@2 78 Remembering the chilling farewell in Tomoyo’s last letter, Sakura
rlm@2 79 teetered on the brink of tears. If she leaves me. Taking a deep
rlm@2 80 breath, Sakura buried the thought, for she could not face such a
rlm@2 81 wretched possibility. "Buttons", she said suddenly, "I need buttons
rlm@2 82 for this dress". Rising, she carefully placed the dress on the desk,
rlm@2 83 slipping off the thimble and absent-mindedly massaging her pin-
rlm@2 84 pricked hands. Stretching, she felt the fatigue fall from her body as
rlm@2 85 muscles tensed and relaxed. The buttons would be upstairs, in the
rlm@2 86 attic, with the sewing supplies she had packed away before moving to
rlm@2 87 Hong Kong. She walked from the room, down the hall past her sleeping
rlm@2 88 brother, and climbed the ladder to the trap door. Emerging into the
rlm@2 89 darkness, she carefully felt her way along the wall and then
rlm@2 90 hesitated as a fear of the dark bubbled up from long ago. Slowly
rlm@2 91 letting out a breath she grimaced, ashamed at such a childish worry.
rlm@2 92 Inching her way forward, her nimble fingers finally brushed against
rlm@2 93 the light switch and clicked it on. The naked bulb starkly
rlm@2 94 illuminated the maze of tightly stacked boxes and trunks. Sakura
rlm@2 95 realized her father or brother had rearranged things since she left,
rlm@2 96 for the sewing things were nowhere to be seen.
rlm@2 97
rlm@2 98 With a shrug she began to move boxes, coughing in the billowing
rlm@2 99 dust. Finally, on the verge of giving up, she uncovered a small
rlm@2 100 shoebox with the word, "notions" written on the side. The writing
rlm@2 101 puzzled her, for she did not recognize the almost childish script.
rlm@2 102 With a tug, she pulled it out from the little nook it was wedged
rlm@2 103 into. Opening the lid, she found a box full of buttons- perfect! She
rlm@2 104 smiled and carried the little treasure over to the light, examining
rlm@2 105 the varied circles and squares of plastic and metal. Spilling some
rlm@2 106 out onto the lid, she nodded happily. These would do just fine. Then,
rlm@2 107 Sakura's attention was caught by something at the bottom. She poured
rlm@2 108 more buttons out in a little pile, and gingerly pulled out a faded
rlm@2 109 photograph.
rlm@2 110
rlm@2 111 The colors had washed out over the years, but the figures were
rlm@2 112 instantly recognizable. Tomoyo’s mother was dressed in a schoolgirl's
rlm@2 113 sailor suit. Draped over the young Sonomi was Sakura's mother,
rlm@2 114 similarly clad in a dark blue dress, a red bow around her collar.
rlm@2 115 With one arm she embraced her cousin, while the other was held up,
rlm@2 116 triumphantly showing two bandaged fingers in a little "V" for
rlm@2 117 victory. Both girls were smiling merrily, surrounded by the supplies
rlm@2 118 and equipment of what looked like a Home Economics classroom. Sakura
rlm@2 119 turned the picture over, and written in that same childish
rlm@2 120 handwriting that adorned the box were four lines:
rlm@2 121
rlm@2 122 "Hiroji-sensei's class
rlm@2 123 7th grade
rlm@2 124 I passed!
rlm@2 125 Thank you, Sonomi-chan"
rlm@2 126
rlm@2 127 The back was decorated with odd little doodles of hearts and
rlm@2 128 flowers. Sakura looked again at the picture and smiled, thanking her
rlm@2 129 mother for the little present that had waited so patiently. Tomoyo's
rlm@2 130 costume could have no better buttons than these. Emptying them back
rlm@2 131 into the box, the auburn-haired woman carefully placed the photograph
rlm@2 132 on top and replaced the lid, tucking the package under her arm.
rlm@2 133 Turning off the light, she moved to the entranceway of the attic and
rlm@2 134 climbed down to the hall. Returning to her room, she placed the
rlm@2 135 shoebox on the desk, took up the fabric and began to sew again. She
rlm@2 136 was startled when a familiar voice called out from the shadows behind
rlm@2 137 her,
rlm@2 138
rlm@2 139 "What are you doing?"
rlm@2 140
rlm@2 141 She turned quickly, and saw Syaoran standing up against the wall,
rlm@2 142 arms crossed and scowling. She rose and took one step towards him,
rlm@2 143 but something in his manner froze her. In a meek tone she answered,
rlm@2 144
rlm@2 145 "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before I left, but I had to hurry. I
rlm@2 146 called Ieran-sama when my flight arrived. Didn't she tell you"?
rlm@2 147
rlm@2 148 Syaoran looked away with barely suppressed anger, as if he were
rlm@2 149 addressing a hopelessly slow child. Then he nodded to the pile of
rlm@2 150 fabric on the floor and impatiently repeated himself, "What-are-you-
rlm@2 151 doing"?
rlm@2 152
rlm@2 153 "Oh", Sakura glanced at the dress she had dropped to the floor. She
rlm@2 154 scurried to pick it up, and held it in front of her husband. Her
rlm@2 155 smile faltered as he recoiled in horror at the unfinished costume he
rlm@2 156 had seen in his Mother’s magic. He yelled at her,
rlm@2 157
rlm@2 158 “Put that damn thing away. Where did you get it? What is it?”
rlm@2 159
rlm@2 160 Neatly folding the costume, she placed it back on the desk, then
rlm@2 161 faced Syaoran, her hands held to her breast as she replied,
rlm@2 162
rlm@2 163 "I, I wanted to make something for Tomoyo-chan. Well, actually, she
rlm@2 164 made it, the design, I mean, I could never do something like this.
rlm@2 165 And she started it, but because of the wedding dress being the last
rlm@2 166 thing she would make for me she didn't finish, and I thought I could,
rlm@2 167 well, finish it for her, and I found some of mother's buttons in the
rlm@2 168 attic and..." Her voice trailed off into silence. Caught by her
rlm@2 169 husband's withering stare, she felt small and foolish.
rlm@2 170
rlm@2 171 As he calmed down, Syaoran struggled to keep his sense of gravity.
rlm@2 172 As if impressed by his own cleverness, he sneered, “I knew that crazy
rlm@2 173 girl had something to do with all this. All right, get your things
rlm@2 174 together and let’s go.”
rlm@2 175
rlm@2 176 But instead of compliance, Sakura stood with her hands clasped and
rlm@2 177 head bowed. Syaoran stepped towards her, irritated at this unusual
rlm@2 178 hesitation. In a soft but firm voice she broke the silence, “I’m not
rlm@2 179 going. I have to see Tomoyo-chan”.
rlm@2 180
rlm@2 181 He stopped short, flabbergasted. All he could manage was a hoarse,
rlm@2 182 “What”?
rlm@2 183
rlm@2 184 Sakura looked up at him, jade eyes flashing a fiery determination he
rlm@2 185 had rarely seen since the days of card capturing. But her voice was
rlm@2 186 calm as she continued, “Tomoyo-chan said she is going to leave. I
rlm@2 187 have to see her.”
rlm@2 188
rlm@2 189 The future Head of the House of Li frowned, struggling to suppress
rlm@2 190 his anger. He snapped at the woman within arm’s reach, “You can call
rlm@2 191 her on the phone, or write one of your silly letters. We’re going
rlm@2 192 home- now”.
rlm@2 193
rlm@2 194 Sakura looked at the floor and slowly shook her head. He felt a wild
rlm@2 195 urge to strike her, to slap the defiance out of her. Barely in
rlm@2 196 control of his raging emotions he spluttered, “I can’t believe I’m
rlm@2 197 hearing this. What kind of garbage did she fill your head up with”?
rlm@2 198 He paused, and drew a deep breath. This was not like his complacent
rlm@2 199 wife at all. Very well. The chivalrous husband would try a new tack
rlm@2 200 and forgive his erring wife. He pronounced in a patronizing and
rlm@2 201 reassuring tone, “Now let me help you with your bags and we can talk
rlm@2 202 about it on the plane.”
rlm@2 203
rlm@2 204 But Sakura looked up at him, earnestly gazing at his face. Finally,
rlm@2 205 she said simply, “No”.
rlm@2 206
rlm@2 207 Fists clenched, shaking with fury, he turned his back on her,
rlm@2 208 shaking with rage. How dare she defy him! After running off to Japan,
rlm@2 209 wasting money they did not have, and now refusing to obey. Unable to
rlm@2 210 contain his anger, he slammed his fist into the door, nearly rattling
rlm@2 211 it off the hinges. “Damn it!” he yelled, “Who do you think you are?”
rlm@2 212
rlm@2 213 Whirling to face her, falling into a fighting stance, his mind raced
rlm@2 214 out of control. But the young woman simply stood before him, calm and
rlm@2 215 unafraid. Suddenly there came a knock on the door, and a male voice
rlm@2 216 called out, “Sakura-chan, what’s going on?” The door opened, and a
rlm@2 217 pajama-clad Touya peered into the room. Seeing Syaoran, he frowned,
rlm@2 218 and then looked carefully at his younger sister. In as neutral a
rlm@2 219 voice as he could manage he asked,
rlm@2 220
rlm@2 221 “Do you need any help”?
rlm@2 222
rlm@2 223 Sakura relaxed, smiled, shook her head and answered sweetly, “No,
rlm@2 224 everything is fine. I’m sorry we woke you up. We’ll be more quiet”.
rlm@2 225
rlm@2 226 Touya shot another warning look at his least favorite brother-in-law
rlm@2 227 before sizing up the seemingly unconcerned young woman. “OK”, he
rlm@2 228 spoke in his usual laconic voice, as if such domestic squabbles
rlm@2 229 around the house at 3 A.M were the norm, “But you call me if you need
rlm@2 230 me. Goodnight.”
rlm@2 231
rlm@2 232 When the door closed, the two stood silent, facing each other for
rlm@2 233 the longest time. Finally, with an exasperated sigh Syaoran fixed his
rlm@2 234 wayward wife with a hard stare. His voice was commanding, even
rlm@2 235 patronizing, as if he would no longer brook her exasperating
rlm@2 236 insolence,
rlm@2 237
rlm@2 238 “Sakura, you have to make choices in life. You have to have
rlm@2 239 priorities. You’re a big girl now, married to the future Head of the
rlm@2 240 House of Li. I can’t have you running off every time some loopy girl
rlm@2 241 from the past calls you on the phone. You just can’t do this sort of
rlm@2 242 thing. It makes me look ridiculous. Tomoeda was nice, but it’s all
rlm@2 243 over now. You have a new life, with me You’re going to have to choose
rlm@2 244 between your friend and your true love. Now, go get your things and
rlm@2 245 we’ll forget all about this”.
rlm@2 246
rlm@2 247 At first Sakura looked at him with surprise, and then stared at the
rlm@2 248 floor. The Chinese sorcerer smiled as he detected the glint of tears
rlm@2 249 welling in her eyes. She looked deep in thought, and after a moment
rlm@2 250 looked up at him with wet and sparkling eyes. Her voice was brimming
rlm@2 251 with emotion as she spoke,
rlm@2 252
rlm@2 253 “I’m sorry, Syaoran-chan. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I
rlm@2 254 guess I knew the choice would come someday soon, just not this soon.
rlm@2 255 If only I’d known. I’m so sorry.”
rlm@2 256
rlm@2 257 The tears coursed down her cheeks as she stood miserably before him.
rlm@2 258 Well, he thought, at least she’s speaking sense now. He almost felt
rlm@2 259 pity for her, though his anger was still too fresh and raw for that.
rlm@2 260 He did care for her, though at times like this love was an ordeal.
rlm@2 261 Still, he would find it in his heart to forgive her. But he would
rlm@2 262 make sure she never saw or talked or wrote to that crazy Daidouji
rlm@2 263 woman ever again. Syaoran’s quiet voice brimmed with magniminity for
rlm@2 264 a defeated foe, “Come on Sakura-chan. Let’s go home.”
rlm@2 265
rlm@2 266 But the woman did not move, looking at him sadly as she spoke, “I’m
rlm@2 267 not going.”
rlm@2 268
rlm@2 269 Too baffled to be angry, he gawked at her, mouth open as if his
rlm@2 270 words were frozen in mid-sentence. Sakura shook her head and spoke
rlm@2 271 almost pleadingly,
rlm@2 272
rlm@2 273 “It’s my fault. I should have known my own feelings. If I had, all
rlm@2 274 this would never have happened. I’ve hurt so many people: you, your
rlm@2 275 mother, Meiling-chan, Tomoyo-chan. All because I was too stupid to
rlm@2 276 know what was in my heart.”
rlm@2 277
rlm@2 278 Syaoran could only stare in disbelief as the woman hugged herself
rlm@2 279 tightly for reassurance before continuing,
rlm@2 280
rlm@2 281 “Syaoran-chan, you were always one of my very best friends. I
rlm@2 282 couldn’t have done what I did with the cards without you. It meant so
rlm@2 283 much to me that we were together. And I do love you, as a friend
rlm@2 284 forever in my heart. But now I know my true love is Tomoyo-chan. I’ve
rlm@2 285 loved her all along, but just didn’t understand. Not until last
rlm@2 286 night. Last night. That’s only a day ago.” The woman looked stunned
rlm@2 287 as she said this, as if an entire life had been lived in only 24
rlm@2 288 hours. After a brief smile, she spoke again,
rlm@2 289
rlm@2 290 “Last night I finally realized who I love. My one, true love. My
rlm@2 291 special person. She was so close for so long that I never knew until
rlm@2 292 she was gone. I could have saved everyone so much pain if I knew.”
rlm@2 293
rlm@2 294 Pain. Syaoran felt it in a wave, as helpless as when Meiling
rlm@2 295 connected with his solar plexus earlier that day. Staring at his wife
rlm@2 296 in dumb incomprehension, he managed to croak out,
rlm@2 297
rlm@2 298 “But Sakura, I love you.”
rlm@2 299
rlm@2 300 She looked at him, and he had the uncomfortable sensation that with
rlm@2 301 her magic she could see straight to his heart. She smiled and asked
rlm@2 302 gently, “Do you really love me Syaoran, like that? It really hasn’t
rlm@2 303 felt that way. Not like I thought it would. Not like what I feel from
rlm@2 304 her.”
rlm@2 305
rlm@2 306 Indignant and righteous, he made ready to protest. But the auburn-
rlm@2 307 haired woman held up her hand and commanded his silence. A sudden
rlm@2 308 wave of something ineffable washed over them both, a shuddering,
rlm@2 309 prickly sensation that enveloped him like a living fog. He stared at
rlm@2 310 his wife, for somehow she was changed. It was as if all the magic
rlm@2 311 were drained out of her like water in broken crockery. She stood
rlm@2 312 before him, not the Mistress of the Cards, but as little Kinomoto
rlm@2 313 Sakura, sweet, genki, and horribly ordinary. Her voice was the same
rlm@2 314 he had heard on a playground long ago, when the Cards were in the
rlm@2 315 air, and a Japanese schoolgirl had just begun her long journey,
rlm@2 316
rlm@2 317 “You loved Yukito once, like I did. But when my powers grew greater
rlm@2 318 than his, then your affection for me did, too. Do you really love me,
rlm@2 319 Syaoran-chan? If I was just plain old Sakura, would you still love me
rlm@2 320 then?”
rlm@2 321
rlm@2 322 He recoiled at the sight. Stripped her magical glamour she seemed
rlm@2 323 small and weak. Where was the enchanting woman he had married? Where
rlm@2 324 was the successor to the famed Clow Reed? Was this some illusion, a
rlm@2 325 doppelganger that had abducted his precious wife and substituted some
rlm@2 326 bland and pathetic double? He began to speak, to accuse and threaten
rlm@2 327 this alien presence, when he heard Sakura’s voice, distant yet
rlm@2 328 familiar. She stared at him, his mind hers to know. Sadly shaking her
rlm@2 329 head, she quietly spoke,
rlm@2 330
rlm@2 331 “ I’m not an illusion. It’s just me. It’s just me without my magic.
rlm@2 332 It’s who I really am. But I don’t think it’s who you really love. Do
rlm@2 333 you? Do you really love me, Syaoran-chan?”
rlm@2 334
rlm@2 335 He felt sick as he looked at her. She was nothing, a nobody. In a
rlm@2 336 bitter tone he declared, “You sound just like Mother.”
rlm@2 337
rlm@2 338 Sakura let out a little sigh and the two stood silent. Finally, she
rlm@2 339 spoke in a voice etched with the pain of a new found knowledge,
rlm@2 340 “Ieran-sama is very wise. For all my power, she is much wiser than
rlm@2 341 me. She was right, Syaoran-chan. We don’t belong together. Now I know
rlm@2 342 that she didn’t really hate me. She just wanted what was best for
rlm@2 343 everyone. Even me.”
rlm@2 344
rlm@2 345 With that he looked up and saw her as he knew her, energy flooding
rlm@2 346 back, filling her pure power. In fear and awe he beheld her, once
rlm@2 347 again the dread Mistress of the Cards. He reeled backwards, confused
rlm@2 348 and frightened, his mother’s mocking voice blaring inside his head.
rlm@2 349 He held his hands to his temples as her piecing words echoed, “You
rlm@2 350 don’t love her. You love her power.” He felt helpless, a rag doll in
rlm@2 351 the hands of a blind and savage Fate. Struggling to regain his calm,
rlm@2 352 he leaned against the wall and whimpered. Sakura stood with her hands
rlm@2 353 at her side, unable to comfort her shattered husband. Finally he
rlm@2 354 composed himself enough to turn and face her. He was no man’s fool.
rlm@2 355 He was not to be trifled with. Trembling, he took an envelope from
rlm@2 356 his pocket, opened it, and placed a ticket on the nearby dresser. His
rlm@2 357 face was blank as he spoke,
rlm@2 358
rlm@2 359 “I’m leaving. If you are not on this plane when it departs, then
rlm@2 360 don’t bother coming back again. Ever.” He felt a surge of power, as
rlm@2 361 if he, and not this stupid and dangerous woman, was in control. She
rlm@2 362 bowed low, her sad, verdant eyes locked with his as she answered
rlm@2 363 softly,
rlm@2 364
rlm@2 365 “Hai, Syaoran. Sayonara.”
rlm@2 366
rlm@2 367 He strode for the door, and then stopped. Turning quickly, he gaped
rlm@2 368 at her, his face twisted with loathing. He spat out the bitter words,
rlm@2 369 “I don’t love you. I hate you.” Then he walked through the door and
rlm@2 370 shut it firmly.
rlm@2 371
rlm@2 372 For a long time, Sakura stared at the closed door. Syaoran’s parting
rlm@2 373 words stung her, even though she knew they were not true. Consumed
rlm@2 374 with anger, his words spilled, tainted and colored by out-of-control
rlm@2 375 emotions. But part of what he said was true: he did not love her. Or,
rlm@2 376 rather, he loved her as a friend, and no more. Oddly, this was great
rlm@2 377 consolation for the shattered woman, who saw her marriage of months
rlm@2 378 implode in minutes. Had Syaoran truly loved her, she would have been
rlm@2 379 chained to a marriage that was a terrible mistake. For thousands of
rlm@2 380 years, women have borne loveless matches, and Sakura would have been
rlm@2 381 one among millions of sad and broken hearts. Perhaps she could have
rlm@2 382 found some happiness in children, or teaching, or even magic, all
rlm@2 383 while her heart longed for her true love. Or she might have died
rlm@2 384 slowly, longing for a love she could never have. Even leaving him
rlm@2 385 later was a stark possibility, and could only have made things worse
rlm@2 386 with the passage of time.
rlm@2 387
rlm@2 388
rlm@2 389 With a sigh, Sakura sat at her desk and again took up sewing. The
rlm@2 390 rhythm of needle and thread calmed her heart, for there was stillness
rlm@2 391 in the motion of every stitch. Suddenly she flinched as the needle
rlm@2 392 pricked her finger. Gazing at her hand, she put her work on the table
rlm@2 393 and slipped off the golden wedding ring. Placing it by the ticket on
rlm@2 394 the desk, she thought, I'll send it to him later. She stared at her
rlm@2 395 now bare finger. The ring came off so easily, as if their marriage
rlm@2 396 had never been. But that was not quite true either, for much had
rlm@2 397 happened in married life she did not regret, and would never forget.
rlm@2 398 Picking up the yellow dress and sewing again, she recalled the
rlm@2 399 exquisite anticipation of her wedding day, and the mystery of the
rlm@2 400 night that followed. To be in Syaoran’s company, if not quite love,
rlm@2 401 was pleasant, the companionship of two good friends. "It was my fault
rlm@2 402 for wanting it to be more, for not knowing my own feelings", she
rlm@2 403 whispered sadly. Curiously, Sakura felt no regret for the end of her
rlm@2 404 marriage. But she did feel sorry for the pain she brought Sayoran,
rlm@2 405 and knew that regret would never leave her.
rlm@2 406
rlm@2 407 Paradoxically, the greatest gift of her marriage was the misery of
rlm@2 408 being without Tomoyo. Growing up with the girl, she came to take her
rlm@2 409 amazing presence for granted. Being so close to that dazzling spirit
rlm@2 410 had blinded Sakura to her own true feelings. Only in Hong Kong did
rlm@2 411 she learn the hard lesson of what Tomoyo meant to her. When marriage
rlm@2 412 pulled them apart, she finally saw that life without the azure-eyed
rlm@2 413 girl was simply impossible. Accepting Syaoran's proposal, she prayed
rlm@2 414 marriage would bring her love. It did, but in a way completely
rlm@2 415 unforseen. Marriage was a strange path leading her far away, yet
rlm@2 416 bringing her back to where she started. But oh, how diffreent things
rlm@2 417 were now! When she left, Tomoyo was her friend. But tonight, as her
rlm@2 418 marriage ended, Tomoyo was her one, true love. And tommorow she would
rlm@2 419 see her again.
rlm@2 420
rlm@2 421 Sakura felt awash in giddy anticipation. Freedom swept her soul like
rlm@2 422 a gentle zephyr, a whipsering wind of possibilities and hope. Soon
rlm@2 423 she would see Tomoyo, lay her love at the dark-haired girl's feet,
rlm@2 424 and beg her to stay. She gigled, wondering about the woman's reaction
rlm@2 425 to so stunning a revelation. Perhaps she could never take the place
rlm@2 426 of that special someone in her friend's gentle heart. But just to be
rlm@2 427 with her, to feel Tomoyo's love again was enough. Even more, Sakura
rlm@2 428 wanted to make her happy, to heal the pain in those azure eyes. "I'll
rlm@2 429 give her everything I have", she thought, stitching the last button
rlm@2 430 into place, "though she already has my heart."
rlm@2 431
rlm@2 432 With that, she held up the costume, admiring the work. Well,
rlm@2 433 admiring Tomoyo's work, anyway, perfect as always. Her own
rlm@2 434 contribution was flawed: an uneven line here, a too-big button hole
rlm@2 435 there. But it was her work, and now the costume was theirs. Lovingly
rlm@2 436 she folded the silken fabric, and suddenly felt very, very tired.
rlm@2 437 Resting her head on the desk she whispered dreamily, "Tommorow.
rlm@2 438 Tommorow I'll see her. I'll see my angel."
rlm@2 439
rlm@2 440 And so, sleep came at last.
rlm@2 441
rlm@2 442