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1 Dear Sakura
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2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
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3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
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4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
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5
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6
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7 Bbbrrrrinnng.... Bbbrrrriiinnng.... Bbbbrrrrriiiinnng....
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8 Tomoyo rolled over in her sleep, her long dark hair covering her
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9 pale form like a sinuous shadow. She stirred as the phone continued
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10 to ring at her in the silence, finally sitting up in the darkened
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11 room. She was lying on the couch in her little home theater room, a
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12 video of Sakura still playing in the background. She was still
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13 wearing her busines clothes from the day before, not having had the
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14 will to change out of them. Her tired mind quickly located the source
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15 of the ringing and she slowly reached out for the phone. Who could be
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16 calling her at this hour? Her fingers paused just before touching the
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17 phone as if it had suddenly become a venomous snake, its ringing the
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18 deadly rattle of a beast about to lunge out and bite her. She was
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19 filled with a deep and foreboding dread at who may be on the other
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20 end. 'Leave it. You can pretend that you were asleep. It's late and
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21 no one will mind,' she thought to herself. But she knew that she
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22 couldn't do that. Whoever would be calling this late at night must
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23 have a terribly urgent reason. She couldn't just ignore it.
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24 "Moshi moshi..." Tomoyo heard herself say, but the voice didn't
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25 sound like her own. It was cracked and pained, as if it still held
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26 countless unshed tears. Her fingers trembled as she held the phone to
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27 her ear, brushing back dark hair that got in the way. Her dread was
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28 growing by the second as she waited for what felt like an eternity
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29 for an answer. For a second, she felt the beginnings of relief begin
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30 to brush lightly at her bruised and battered soul. It must have been
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31 a wrong number. But her relief quickly turned to mute horror as an
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32 all too familiar voice answered her.
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33 "Tomoyo-chan!!" an uberly genki voice called out. "Tomoyo-chan, I
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34 was so worried. I couldn't get through earlier and I didn't know if
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35 you would be there or not. I just... You see, I was in the garden
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36 and... Well, remember how you kissed me?" A giggle before she
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37 continued. "Well, I finally... Ummm... Can I come over?" Sakura
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38 sweatdropped on the other end of the phone. She felt like a guilty
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39 schoolgirl asking permission to go over to a friend's house to do
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40 anything but study. That thought was silly and awkward for her, but
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41 she couldn't help it. Being back home had felt almost like she had
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42 travelled back in time. She hadn't been in the house more than a few
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43 minutes before calling the Daidouji household. She could hear Touya
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44 making tea in the kitchen and silently thanked her older brother for
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45 all of his help.
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46 The phone clattered to the floor, dropping from Tomoyo's numb
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47 hands. She stared at the deadly viper that had indeed reached out and
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48 bit her. How could it be Sakura? Her letter couldn't have gotten to
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49 her already, could it? Tomoyo wasn't even completely packed yet. She
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50 hadn't planned on moving out for another two days. And how could
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51 Sakura be in Tomoeda? She should be in Hong Kong at that very moment,
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52 snuggling with her husband. This was wrong. This was all wrong. It
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53 completely shattered Tomoyo's painstakingly crafted plans to fade
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54 from Sakura's life as well as her mother's. She felt trapped, caged
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55 in on all sides by imposing iron bars. How could she escape her
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56 torment if Sakura would not allow it?
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57 "Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura's voice asked, concern tinging her exuberance.
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58 Tomoyo realized only dimly that Sakura had been waiting on the
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59 other end while the phone had lain uselessly on the floor. She
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60 reached out slowly, picking up the cold plastic once more. Her eyes
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61 flickered to the screen that was still showing her beautiful second
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62 cousin flying through the air like an angel. The angel had finally
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63 come for her, and she had nowhere to flee. She searched desperately
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64 for her soft voice, one that had served her well for years as a
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65 member of the choir, but was frustrated to find it having suddenly
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66 gone missing. What disturbed her even more was that she had begun
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67 crying moments earlier and hadn't even realized it. Wet tears slipped
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68 past her cheek and against the telephone as she held it tightly. She
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69 briefly remembered the cute pink cell phones that she had gotten from
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70 her mother to stay in contact with Sakura. They had been a wonderful
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71 tether for the two girls, offering Sakura with a constant link to her
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72 loving and supportive friend and giving Tomoyo a link to the
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73 beautiful girl of her dreams. It had been a wonderful thing for both
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74 of them, giving Sakura a way to always turn to her best friend and
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75 Tomoyo a way to bask in Sakura's presence even when they were far
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76 apart. It had worked so well, in fact, that Tomoyo had given Syaoran
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77 one of the cute cell phones so that he and Sakura may be able to
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78 share that same bond. Hadn't that been the start of all this? No,
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79 no... The start of all this had been the gift of a small eraser a
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80 lifetime ago.
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81 "Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura repeated, this time listening intently for
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82 her best friend. She thought she could hear short, ragged breaths, as
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83 if someone was short of air, and what sounded like sniffling. "Tomoyo-
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84 chan?"
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85 'She can't hear me like this. It will ruin everything. She'll never
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86 let me go if she knows how I feel. And it will destroy Sakura-chan's
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87 fairy tale. Her beautiful new life will crumble. All because of me. I
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88 can't do that to Sakura-chan. I can't stay because I... can't...
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89 handle... it....' Tomoyo thought frantically, her shaking fingers
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90 quickly wiping her tears away. It did little to soothe the cold and
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91 broken shards of her heart. 'If I stay, it'll kill both of us, Sakura-
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92 chan. I can't be a part of your life anymore. Seeing you, loving you,
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93 knowing that I can't be a part of your heart, it's killing me. It's
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94 killing me and I won't let it kill you, too.' When she finally spoke,
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95 her voice came out weakly, a pale shadow of it's normal gentle self.
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96 It sounded sorrowful in Tomoyo's ears and she immediately cut herself
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97 off, closing her lavender eyes tightly. 'Hang up!' part of her cried,
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98 but she knew she couldn't. Sakura was like the Syren from long ago,
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99 luring her towards grave dangers that she couldn't force herself to
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100 escape from. She needed to answer Sakura. And soon. But she didn't
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101 know how. If Sakura heard her crying, then her farewell letter would
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102 be for naught. Sakura would know the pain that resided in her heart
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103 and they would both be doomed. With a supreme effort, the pale ghost
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104 of a girl gathered the splintered shards of her masks, cutting her
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105 soul in the process as she pulled them up for one final act. But
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106 would they be enough? Were these tiny shards enough to hide the pain
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107 she was in? "Sakura-chan..." her soft voice whispered into the phone.
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108 The pain was still glaringly evident in Tomoyo's ears, but she hoped
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109 that the brunette wouldn't hear it. The ocean of tears underneath her
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110 voice's surface wasn't gone exactly, but it was muted, as if a large
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111 tarp had been thrown over it.
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112 The auburn haired girl on the other end of the line sighed in
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113 relief. She had thought that the line had disconnected or that, even
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114 more irrationally, Tomoyo had finally made good on her words.
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115 'Goodbye,' echoed through Sakura's mind in Tomoyo's sweet voice,
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116 surrounding her like a sad song from long ago. It anchored Sakura's
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117 heart with painful chains and hooks. But Sakura struggled forward
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118 despite the immense weight on her heart. She was here now. Tomoyo
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119 couldn't leave or fade away. She would finally fulfill her promise.
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120 'I knew Sakura-chan would come and rescue me,' Tomoyo had said an
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121 eternity before. And Sakura had finally come to rescue her fair
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122 skinned damsel in distress. "I'm here, Tomoyo-chan," she said again,
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123 not noticing that she was speaking out loud. She blushed slightly,
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124 but continued on. "I'm glad to hear you. I was so worried about you.
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125 I got your letter in the mail today... well, yesterday... Anyway, I
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126 got your letter and I had to come see you. Tomoyo-chan..." her voice
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127 caught in her throat as she blinked back crystal tears. "I don't want
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128 you to go. I need you, Tomoyo-chan. I need to talk to you. Right now.
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129 I'm going to be over in a few minutes, okay? Just unlock your window
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130 and I'll be there as soon as I can," the Cardmistress said quickly.
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131 Sakura was too flustered to sleep, her heart's recent revelation
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132 too much to keep inside for herself. It longed to be offered up as a
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133 gift to the woman who had been there for Sakura every step of the way
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134 through her life. But she couldn't do that over the phone. Words
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135 weren't Sakura's strong point. She always went on her emotions. She
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136 couldn't even understand her emotions half the time. But she knew
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137 that the woman on the other end of the phone knew her emotions
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138 perfectly, as if she could read Sakura the same way others read a
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139 good book. She had the eye of an artist, but one that was attuned to
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140 the human soul. No one else understood her like Tomoyo. No one else
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141 could hope to. But there was one thing that even Tomoyo hadn't been
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142 able to uncover. The glistening love that lay shrouded in the curious
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143 mists of Sakura's heart. Now that Sakura had finally understood it,
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144 she wanted to go to her gentle best friend and to tell her the
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145 deliscious secret she had learned.
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146 Of course, she didn't know if Tomoyo would accept her tentative
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147 offering of love or even how she would react. The eccentric young
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148 woman held so much love in her heart that its depth felt endless and
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149 all encompassing, like a warm, deep ocean. She knew that much from
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150 the love Tomoyo had always showered on her. It may have been
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151 embarrassing at times, but Sakura would never have wished it away. In
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152 fact, being without it during her months in Hong Kong had felt like
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153 she had been exiled to a barren and empty desert. She knew that
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154 Tomoyo's warm and giving heart had a very special someone at it's
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155 core, but she knew not who that person was. She only knew that if
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156 they couldn't love her dear, sweet Tomoyo, then they were undeserving
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157 of the lavender haired woman's boundless love. And Sakura would try
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158 her hardest to take away all of Tomoyo's pain, to love her with all
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159 of her heart. She may not be Tomoyo's special someone, but she would
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160 more than try to make up for it. She would love Tomoyo with all of
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161 her heart and soul and try to make everything, for once, all right.
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162 Tomoyo didn't know how much time had gone by as she sat on the
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163 floor of her room in the dark, her legs curled under her and her
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164 tearstained eyes still focused on the moving images of Sakura on the
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165 screen in front of her. Panic consumed her, a viscious monster that
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166 had snagged her in it's fangs. Her clothes were only half packed, her
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167 airplane tickets not for another two days. Sakura had caught her in
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168 the midst of her plan to fade away from her life, and like a breath
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169 on a house of cards, it all came tumbling down. Sakura couldn't come
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170 now, not with the state she was in. It was all Tomoyo could do to
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171 clutch onto the few remaining shards of the illusions she used to
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172 hide her pain from those she loved. If Sakura saw her.... "Sakura-
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173 chan... I can't see you... Not now. Today was such a long day and I
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174 can't keep my eyes open much longer." And it was true. She couldn't
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175 keep her eyes open without tears cascading down her pale cheeks.
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176 Blinking in confusion, Sakura listened to Tomoyo words once again
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177 in her mind. That didn't sound like her happily eccentric best
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178 friend. She knew that Tomoyo had stayed up quite often on costumes or
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179 videotapes and the like. Besides, Sonomi was the businesswoman in the
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180 family. She was the one who threw herself into her work. And even
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181 then, she would throw that aside when her daughter needed her. And
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182 there was something else as well, as if there were little broken ice
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183 crystals in Tomoyo's voice, threaded through the lavender haired
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184 woman's melodious voice. This took Sakura completely by surprise. She
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185 hadn't thought of the possibility that Tomoyo might not be ready for
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186 her to visit as soon as she reached Tomoeda. She was almost as
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187 shocked by the lack of Tomoyo's usual embarrassing comments. No
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188 'Sakura-chan's lovely voice is like a dream', 'All of Tomoeda must be
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189 ecstatic to know that Sakura-chan is back again', or even 'Isn't Hong
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190 Kong missing Sakura-chan's beautiful face?'. They had always caused
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191 such a flurry of emotions in her, but the lack of her best friend's
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192 adoring remarks left her in silence.
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193 Covering the phone as she choked back a sob, Tomoyo tried
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194 desperately to think. She couldn't let Sakura see her like this,
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195 teary eyed and broken. It would crush the energetic Cardmistress's
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196 spirits. She was like a shattered China doll lying upon the floor.
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197 Wasn't it better for Sakura to think that her favorite China doll was
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198 simply elsewhere than finding it broken and smashed? Pulling together
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199 the last bit of her strength, Tomoyo could feel her tears burning at
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200 her eyes as she kept her voice as level and soft as she could. Her
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201 tattered heart heaved in her chest as she hung onto her crystalline
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202 mask shards until her soul cried out. "Sakura-chan needs her beauty
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203 sleep so that she will be gorgeous and genki when the morning comes,"
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204 she said at last, and was relieved to hear it sound as obsessive and
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205 adoring as ever.
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206 That seemed to relax Sakura on the other end of the phone, calming
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207 some of her worries for her dark haired friend. Sakura sighed,
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208 hugging her knees to her chest as she held onto the phone. "Are you
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209 sure, Tomoyo-chan? I... I really want to see you." She had been
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210 waiting so long. Ever since they had said farewell at the airport,
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211 Sakura had been longing to see her friend again, to hold her, to love
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212 her, and to kiss her. To make sure that things would truly be all
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213 right. That feeling had become even stronger since discovering the
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214 love within her for her blue eyed friend. Tomoyo had been all she had
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215 thought about on the flight out and the ride home. Things like her
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216 marriage and what would happen when they met failed to concern her.
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217 All she knew was that she had to be with Tomoyo again. To lose
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218 herself in the sweet scent of her long, luscious hair. To feel her
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219 gentle embrace, and her warm lips. She wanted to give Tomoyo her
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220 entire heart, to offer it on a beautiful platter of silver and
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221 emeralds. What Tomoyo would do with her gift was entirely up to her.
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222 But Sakura knew that she had to give her most precious Christmas
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223 present to Tomoyo soon.
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224 The dark haired woman waited in silence for a long moment, trying
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225 to regulate her breathing. This was even more difficult than when
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226 Sakura had complained about the butterflies in her stomach while
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227 Tomoyo had helped her into her wedding gown. That had been a very
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228 traumatic experience for the young heiress. Helping Sakura into the
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229 intricately designed and lovingly crafted dress, her own heart
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230 pouring out to the auburn haired woman as she tried to soothe
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231 Sakura's worries over marrying someone else had been one of the
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232 hardest moments in her life. Part of her had wanted to confess her
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233 love right then, to stand up after helping Sakura with her stockings,
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234 to look her in the eyes and tell her 'You don't have to be afraid,
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235 Sakura-chan. I love you.' But even that now seemed like nothing
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236 compared to this bitter struggle with her emotions. She knew that she
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237 had strings around Sakura, that she had since they had been small
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238 children. Sakura was so loving, so trusting, and she had such faith
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239 in Tomoyo. Tomoyo knew that she could use that to manipulate Sakura
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240 like a marionette on it's strings. Sakura would listen to whatever
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241 she had to say, always trusting her dark haired friend. But Tomoyo
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242 had never used that for her own gain. Well, aside from getting Sakura
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243 into her costumes and videotaping her. Tomoyo's gentle heart would
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244 not allow her to use Sakura in such a way. So she had merely used her
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245 influence on the brunette to gently nudge her heart in the right
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246 direction, to help her through all of the obstacles life placed
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247 before the Cardmistress. She now had to try and keep Sakura from
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248 coming to her, though the longing in the brunette's voice broke
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rlm@2
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249 Tomoyo's already shattered heart into further pieces. Taking a deep
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250 breath, Tomoyo fought back her tears as she continued. "It really has
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rlm@2
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251 been a long day, Sakura-chan, especially if you've been on a plane
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rlm@2
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252 for so long. Please get some rest. When next I see Sakura-chan, I
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rlm@2
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253 want to see her emerald eyes sparkling happily as she laughs with
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254 joy."
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rlm@2
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255 Sakura smiled softly as she held the phone to her ear. Just hearing
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rlm@2
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256 Tomoyo's voice made her feel better. "Yeah, I guess you're right,
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rlm@2
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257 Tomoyo-chan. I can wait till the morning. That would probably be
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258 better anyway. I have a lot I need to tell you." Slumping back on the
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259 bed, Sakura moved an athletic leg into the air as she yawned. It
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rlm@2
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260 really had been a long flight. And it would probably be better if she
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rlm@2
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261 could actually decide what she wanted to say to Tomoyo. Not that she
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rlm@2
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262 was ever very good with such things. As Tomoyo had told her before,
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rlm@2
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263 she should simply speak her heart. She nodded in silent agreement to
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264 her best friend. She would speak her heart when she saw Tomoyo the
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rlm@2
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265 next day. "Okay. Thanks, Tomoyo-chan. I'm so glad to hear you again.
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rlm@2
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266 I really missed you. Please sleep well, okay? I'll see you early
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267 tomorrow."
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rlm@2
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268 "Sweet dreams, Sakura-chan. Dream of the most beautiful angels,"
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rlm@2
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269 Tomoyo's soft voice whispered quietly on the other end. And with a
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rlm@2
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270 slow click, she was gone.
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rlm@2
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271 Lying back in bed, Sakura stared straight up. She wasn't looking at
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rlm@2
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272 the ceiling so much as she was looking through it, as if it wasn't
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rlm@2
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273 there. She had wanted to see Tomoyo that night, but the lavender
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rlm@2
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274 haired woman had made sense. Besides, it was better for Tomoyo to
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rlm@2
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275 hear what Sakura had to say when she was rested. Sakura, on the other
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rlm@2
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276 hand, was pretty sure that she couldn't sleep. She had slept off and
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rlm@2
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277 on during the plane ride and in the car with Touya. On top of that,
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rlm@2
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278 her mind was still buzzing with excitement over being back in
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279 Tomoeda, of being so close to realizing her hearts secret desires.
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rlm@2
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280 The thoughts of once again basking in that sweet love that she had
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rlm@2
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281 taken for granted during the years she and Tomoyo had been friends
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rlm@2
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282 sounded exhilerating. She let out a warm sigh. "Hanyaan..." It had
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rlm@2
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283 always been there, but she had overlooked it as something that would
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rlm@2
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284 forever be a part of her life. Now she knew that Tomoyo was its
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285 source, the reason behind so many of her happy childhood memories,
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rlm@2
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286 and throughout her adolescence. Tomoyo had bloomed like a gorgeous
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287 flower, and like a beautiful gardener had coaxed Sakura into becoming
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rlm@2
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288 a very pretty young woman, always nurturing her heart and soul with a
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289 warmth that Sakura could search the world over for and never find
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rlm@2
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290 again. Sakura felt blessed to have grown up with such love in her
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291 life.
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rlm@2
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292 But if Tomoyo's heart belonged to another, to her special someone,
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rlm@2
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293 then how would she react to Sakura's declaration of love? Would it
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rlm@2
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294 bother her? Would Tomoyo put her down gently? Or would she be happy
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295 to simply be loved by someone for once in her life? And just who was
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296 this special person anyhow? Tomoyo had first mentioned them when they
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rlm@2
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297 had only been ten year olds. And yet she still spoke of them with the
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298 same passionate fervor she had always shown for this mysterious
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299 person. So it had to be someone that Tomoyo had known for years.
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300 Someone who had been close to her, always there in her life
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301 throughout all of that time. Someone who Tomoyo thought could never
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302 love her back.
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rlm@2
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303 Sakura sat bolt upright in bed, her emerald eyes wide as a sudden
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rlm@2
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304 realization hit her. She ran down the stairs two at a time, almost
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rlm@2
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305 running full tilt into her older brother as he finished up the tea.
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rlm@2
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306 "Oniichan!! I know who Tomoyo-chan's in love with!"
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rlm@2
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307 Touya turned around in surprise. He hadn't expected Sakura to find
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rlm@2
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308 out so suddenly on her own. Especially after all the hints Tomoyo had
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309 dropped over the years and the one's he himself had been dropping
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310 since the two had turned fourteen. That she would finally come to
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rlm@2
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311 that conclusion after all of this time stunned him. "You do?" he
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rlm@2
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312 asked curiously, holding the two tea cups with the grace that years
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rlm@2
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313 as a waiter, among other things, had afforded him.
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rlm@2
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314 Sakura nodded energetically, her short hair flying about her face.
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rlm@2
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315 The young woman looked seriously focused, as she could often get when
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rlm@2
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316 faced with a particularly difficult problem. She sighed, blinking her
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rlm@2
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317 emerald green eyes. She wasn't too happy about it, but at least she
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rlm@2
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318 knew. "Tomoyo-chan's in love with one of her bodyguards," she said at
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rlm@2
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319 last, her shoulders slumping.
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rlm@2
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320 Staring at Sakura for endless minutes, Touya slowly raised an
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rlm@2
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321 eyebrow. Handing Sakura her cup of tea, he ruffled the younger
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rlm@2
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322 woman's hair. "Good try, monster, but you're going to have to try a
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rlm@2
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323 lot harder than that if you're going to figure out who she's in love
|
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rlm@2
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324 with." Sighing, the sleep deprived older sibling made his way
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325 upstairs.
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rlm@2
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326 "Hoe.... Why is this so hard?" Sakura asked herself in the empty
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rlm@2
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327 kitchen. Figuring out Tomoyo was certainly a lot more difficult than
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rlm@2
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328 understanding the Sakura Cards. She would have argued with her
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329 brother, but she simply wasn't in the mood. Taking a sip of the
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rlm@2
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330 flavorful tea, she wondered idly just what she was supposed to do for
|
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rlm@2
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331 the next... five hours, if she left at eight in the morning. A sudden
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rlm@2
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332 idea struck her like a lightening bolt. Grinning, the Mistress of the
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rlm@2
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333 Cards made her way upstairs.
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rlm@2
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334 "Not where is it?" she asked no one in particular as she sifted
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rlm@2
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335 through her bag. She smiled at the Cardcaptor Sakura keychain that
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rlm@2
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336 Tomoyo had had made for Sakura's thirteenth birthday that lay hanging
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rlm@2
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337 on the side. It was one of a kind, the design of the superdeformed
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rlm@2
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338 Sakura completely Tomoyo's while Sonomi had it crafted by her
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339 company. She pushed it with a finger, watching it swing back and
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rlm@2
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340 forth like a pendulum. Shaking her head, she went back to searching
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rlm@2
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341 and within moments pulled out the object of her search. Tomoyo's half
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rlm@2
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342 finished costume lay unfurled before her, it's dazzling design
|
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rlm@2
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343 obvious even in that early state of completion. Tomoyo had always
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rlm@2
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344 been making such beautiful things for her. It seemed a shame that
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rlm@2
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345 Tomoyo's final costume design was never to be finished. She
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rlm@2
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346 understood that Tomoyo had wanted her last design for Sakura to be
|
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rlm@2
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347 the wedding dress, so the lavender haired woman thought it
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rlm@2
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348 unnecessary to finish this final costume. So if Tomoyo couldn't
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rlm@2
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349 finish it, Sakura could.
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rlm@2
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350 Smiling to herself, Sakura ran to the other room to get the
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rlm@2
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351 supplies she would need. Sewing wasn't exactly her forte, but she had
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rlm@2
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352 sewn a yukata for Syaoran and she knew that if she tried hard enough,
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rlm@2
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353 she could finish what Tomoyo had begun. It wouldn't be as lovely as
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rlm@2
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354 Tomoyo's delicate work, but it would finally be finished, putting to
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rlm@2
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355 rest at least one of Sakura's worries. This was their work, both
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rlm@2
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356 Tomoyo's and Sakura's. She wanted to show it to her best friend.
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rlm@2
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357 After all of those years of wearing Tomoyo's costumes, blushing all
|
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rlm@2
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358 different shades of red with the bizarre yet captivating designs,
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rlm@2
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359 this would be a combination of both of their hearts, every stitch
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rlm@2
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360 lovingly etched into the beautiful fabric. Clasping her hands
|
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rlm@2
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361 together determinedly, Sakura got to work.
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362
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363
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rlm@2
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364 Clutching onto the teddy bear Sakura had sewn for her as a farewell
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rlm@2
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365 present, Tomoyo rocked gently back and forth, whispering a lullaby
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rlm@2
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366 that her mother used to sing to her when she was a little girl. Icy
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rlm@2
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367 tears dripped down her chin, falling onto her little stuffed bear
|
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rlm@2
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368 named Sakura. She held it tightly, sobbing quietly as the phone lay
|
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rlm@2
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369 haphazardly a few feet away from her. "I love you so much, Sakura-
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rlm@2
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370 chan... Please forgive me... I don't know what to do, Sakura..." she
|
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rlm@2
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371 whispered tearfully into bear Sakura's ear. Her whole body felt cold,
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rlm@2
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372 torn apart by countless thorns that snaked around her heart. "Please
|
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rlm@2
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373 help me..." But no one would come and save her. Not even her darling
|
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rlm@2
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374 Sakura could save her from the darkness that surrounded her now. If
|
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rlm@2
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375 the brunette came for her, they were both doomed. Sakura's happy life
|
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rlm@2
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376 would be ruined and Tomoyo would never be able to survive watching
|
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rlm@2
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377 Sakura so closely like that, unable to be with her.
|
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rlm@2
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378 An even darker thought that crossed her mind was about what Sakura
|
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rlm@2
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379 had been struggling to say on the phone. What feelings did Sakura
|
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rlm@2
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380 have for her? What feelings did the Cardmistress understand now? Did
|
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rlm@2
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381 she know of Tomoyo's love for her? Which meant that Sakura's
|
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rlm@2
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382 marriage, her beautiful marriage, the child she hadn't yet had, the
|
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rlm@2
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383 whole life that lay before her was in peril. And all because Tomoyo
|
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rlm@2
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384 had failed to fade out of Sakura's life properly.
|
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rlm@2
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385 "Sakura-chan, what am I to do?" Tomoyo asked hopelessly, pressing
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rlm@2
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386 her tearstreaked cheek into the soft material of the teddy bear.
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