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rlm@0
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1 "Ouch!" Sakura shook her finger in the air and then sucked on the
|
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rlm@0
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2 fingertip, tasting the salty tang of her own blood. How did Tomoyo do
|
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rlm@0
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3 all that sewing without ending up like a pincushion? Smiling
|
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rlm@0
|
4 ruefully, she realized that her sewing skills were lacking because
|
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rlm@0
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5 she always depended on Tomoyo, her father, and even her brother for
|
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rlm@0
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6 most thread and needlework. She could mend a tear and put on a patch,
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rlm@0
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7 but the tailoring that her best friend did was simply beyond her. She
|
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rlm@0
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8 remembered early on as a Cardcaptor peeking into a company van and
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rlm@0
|
9 seeing the spectacular wardrobe Tomoyo had prepared for her. At the
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rlm@0
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10 time, she concluded the massive resources of the Daidouji household,
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rlm@0
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11 or even Daidouji Toys, Ltd., had been marshaled and deployed to clad
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rlm@0
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12 her in a parade of kawaii regalia. Only later did she learn that
|
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rlm@0
|
13 Tomoyo did every stitch herself. Through the years that followed, the
|
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rlm@0
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14 two girls spent hours together, talking and drinking tea while Tomoyo
|
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rlm@0
|
15 fitted and altered the amazing creations. Being with the little
|
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rlm@0
|
16 seamstress made precious an experience that would otherwise have been
|
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rlm@0
|
17 tedious as Sakura stretched and posed while Tomoyo snipped and sewed.
|
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rlm@0
|
18 For the Card Mistress it was a chance to talk about her loves and
|
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rlm@0
|
19 fears and joys while the dark-haired girl listened, solemn and cheery
|
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rlm@0
|
20 in turn. Tomoyo was as careful with her heart as with the delicate
|
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rlm@0
|
21 fabrics that made up the costumes, and her carefully considered
|
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rlm@0
|
22 advice and reassurance helped Sakura through many a difficult time.
|
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rlm@0
|
23 As she sewed a strip of satin to trim the hem of the little yellow
|
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rlm@0
|
24 dress Tomoyo had left in Hong Kong, Sakura began to grasp the
|
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rlm@0
|
25 countless hours of labor that the quiet, pale girl had spent just to
|
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rlm@0
|
26 make her look special.
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rlm@0
|
27
|
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rlm@0
|
28 Again she remembered that truck full of outfits Tomoyo unveiled
|
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rlm@0
|
29 before they went to capture the Shadow card. There was a spectacular
|
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rlm@0
|
30 array of over 50 costumes that ranged from the cute to the dramatic,
|
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rlm@0
|
31 with the occasional practical piece thrown in for good measure. After
|
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rlm@0
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32 the terrifying exertions of capturing Shadow, Sakura had asked Tomoyo
|
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rlm@0
|
33 how she got so many costumes ready so quickly. Tomoyo smiled
|
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rlm@0
|
34 enigmatically and replied,
|
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rlm@0
|
35
|
|
rlm@0
|
36 "Oh, I've been working on them for over a year".
|
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rlm@0
|
37
|
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rlm@0
|
38 Sakura gave the girl a baffled look and blurted out, "But you only
|
|
rlm@0
|
39 found out about me and Clow Cards a few days ago."
|
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rlm@0
|
40
|
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rlm@0
|
41 Tomoyo tilted her head, lavender hair blending into the dark,
|
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rlm@0
|
42 moonless night as she answered in a musical voice, "I've always known
|
|
rlm@0
|
43 Sakura-chan was a magical girl.”
|
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rlm@0
|
44
|
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rlm@0
|
45 Sakura merely sweatdropped, dismissing this as one of her adoring
|
|
rlm@0
|
46 friend's many eccentricities. But now, years later, she was quietly
|
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rlm@0
|
47 astonished. Long before the creations of Clow Reed had found her,
|
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rlm@0
|
48 Tomoyo saw her as magical. Not for her power, or the cards she
|
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rlm@0
|
49 captured, but for herself. Sakura smiled as she worked the needle
|
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rlm@0
|
50 carefully through the gossamer material. From the day they met in
|
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rlm@0
|
51 that third grade classroom, Tomoyo's love had been ever-present,
|
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rlm@0
|
52 wrapped around Sakura’s heart like a comforting cocoon. She was
|
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rlm@0
|
53 always special to the sapphire-eyed girl, long before she was the
|
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rlm@0
|
54 Mistress of the Cards. Sakura paused, puzzled, the silver needle
|
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rlm@0
|
55 poised in midair as she softly whispered,
|
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rlm@0
|
56
|
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rlm@0
|
57 "It's as if I was always her special person". She felt her face
|
|
rlm@0
|
58 flush scarlet: that wonderful flustery feeling of being loved by
|
|
rlm@0
|
59 Tomoyo. How she missed that in Hong Kong. The longing grew worse
|
|
rlm@0
|
60 every day without her. The ache in her breast was finally assuaged by
|
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rlm@0
|
61 that enchanting visit, but her heart shattered watching the aircraft
|
|
rlm@0
|
62 spirit Tomoyo away. Her special person. Sakura stared at the fabric
|
|
rlm@0
|
63 in her lap, the last, unfinished design of her best friend. With a
|
|
rlm@0
|
64 grin, she shook her head and thought a little sadly, oh, to be her
|
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rlm@0
|
65 special person for just one day! Sakura had been slow to realize the
|
|
rlm@0
|
66 depths of Tomoyo's love. Only distance, which clove the two friends
|
|
rlm@0
|
67 as nothing before, revealed how cruel separation could be. Without
|
|
rlm@0
|
68 the constant presence of that fulsome love, Sakura felt hopelessly
|
|
rlm@0
|
69 adrift. She tumbled into dark despair, with only her unrealized love
|
|
rlm@0
|
70 to light the way. Glowing like a little candle in the blackest night,
|
|
rlm@0
|
71 that love for Tomoyo finally blazed forth when she at last understood
|
|
rlm@0
|
72 her heart. And though she was not Tomoyo's special someone, that did
|
|
rlm@0
|
73 not affect her own love in the least. Even if Tomoyo did end up
|
|
rlm@0
|
74 happily with her special person, Sakura's love would shine forth like
|
|
rlm@0
|
75 a beacon through the pain of not having her. I'll love her no matter
|
|
rlm@0
|
76 what, she thought to herself. But I'll die if she leaves me.
|
|
rlm@0
|
77
|
|
rlm@0
|
78 Remembering the chilling farewell in Tomoyo’s last letter, Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
79 teetered on the brink of tears. If she leaves me. Taking a deep
|
|
rlm@0
|
80 breath, Sakura buried the thought, for she could not face such a
|
|
rlm@0
|
81 wretched possibility. "Buttons", she said suddenly, "I need buttons
|
|
rlm@0
|
82 for this dress". Rising, she carefully placed the dress on the desk,
|
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rlm@0
|
83 slipping off the thimble and absent-mindedly massaging her pin-
|
|
rlm@0
|
84 pricked hands. Stretching, she felt the fatigue fall from her body as
|
|
rlm@0
|
85 muscles tensed and relaxed. The buttons would be upstairs, in the
|
|
rlm@0
|
86 attic, with the sewing supplies she had packed away before moving to
|
|
rlm@0
|
87 Hong Kong. She walked from the room, down the hall past her sleeping
|
|
rlm@0
|
88 brother, and climbed the ladder to the trap door. Emerging into the
|
|
rlm@0
|
89 darkness, she carefully felt her way along the wall and then
|
|
rlm@0
|
90 hesitated as a fear of the dark bubbled up from long ago. Slowly
|
|
rlm@0
|
91 letting out a breath she grimaced, ashamed at such a childish worry.
|
|
rlm@0
|
92 Inching her way forward, her nimble fingers finally brushed against
|
|
rlm@0
|
93 the light switch and clicked it on. The naked bulb starkly
|
|
rlm@0
|
94 illuminated the maze of tightly stacked boxes and trunks. Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
95 realized her father or brother had rearranged things since she left,
|
|
rlm@0
|
96 for the sewing things were nowhere to be seen.
|
|
rlm@0
|
97
|
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rlm@0
|
98 With a shrug she began to move boxes, coughing in the billowing
|
|
rlm@0
|
99 dust. Finally, on the verge of giving up, she uncovered a small
|
|
rlm@0
|
100 shoebox with the word, "notions" written on the side. The writing
|
|
rlm@0
|
101 puzzled her, for she did not recognize the almost childish script.
|
|
rlm@0
|
102 With a tug, she pulled it out from the little nook it was wedged
|
|
rlm@0
|
103 into. Opening the lid, she found a box full of buttons- perfect! She
|
|
rlm@0
|
104 smiled and carried the little treasure over to the light, examining
|
|
rlm@0
|
105 the varied circles and squares of plastic and metal. Spilling some
|
|
rlm@0
|
106 out onto the lid, she nodded happily. These would do just fine. Then,
|
|
rlm@0
|
107 Sakura's attention was caught by something at the bottom. She poured
|
|
rlm@0
|
108 more buttons out in a little pile, and gingerly pulled out a faded
|
|
rlm@0
|
109 photograph.
|
|
rlm@0
|
110
|
|
rlm@0
|
111 The colors had washed out over the years, but the figures were
|
|
rlm@0
|
112 instantly recognizable. Tomoyo’s mother was dressed in a schoolgirl's
|
|
rlm@0
|
113 sailor suit. Draped over the young Sonomi was Sakura's mother,
|
|
rlm@0
|
114 similarly clad in a dark blue dress, a red bow around her collar.
|
|
rlm@0
|
115 With one arm she embraced her cousin, while the other was held up,
|
|
rlm@0
|
116 triumphantly showing two bandaged fingers in a little "V" for
|
|
rlm@0
|
117 victory. Both girls were smiling merrily, surrounded by the supplies
|
|
rlm@0
|
118 and equipment of what looked like a Home Economics classroom. Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
119 turned the picture over, and written in that same childish
|
|
rlm@0
|
120 handwriting that adorned the box were four lines:
|
|
rlm@0
|
121
|
|
rlm@0
|
122 "Hiroji-sensei's class
|
|
rlm@0
|
123 7th grade
|
|
rlm@0
|
124 I passed!
|
|
rlm@0
|
125 Thank you, Sonomi-chan"
|
|
rlm@0
|
126
|
|
rlm@0
|
127 The back was decorated with odd little doodles of hearts and
|
|
rlm@0
|
128 flowers. Sakura looked again at the picture and smiled, thanking her
|
|
rlm@0
|
129 mother for the little present that had waited so patiently. Tomoyo's
|
|
rlm@0
|
130 costume could have no better buttons than these. Emptying them back
|
|
rlm@0
|
131 into the box, the auburn-haired woman carefully placed the photograph
|
|
rlm@0
|
132 on top and replaced the lid, tucking the package under her arm.
|
|
rlm@0
|
133 Turning off the light, she moved to the entranceway of the attic and
|
|
rlm@0
|
134 climbed down to the hall. Returning to her room, she placed the
|
|
rlm@0
|
135 shoebox on the desk, took up the fabric and began to sew again. She
|
|
rlm@0
|
136 was startled when a familiar voice called out from the shadows behind
|
|
rlm@0
|
137 her,
|
|
rlm@0
|
138
|
|
rlm@0
|
139 "What are you doing?"
|
|
rlm@0
|
140
|
|
rlm@0
|
141 She turned quickly, and saw Syaoran standing up against the wall,
|
|
rlm@0
|
142 arms crossed and scowling. She rose and took one step towards him,
|
|
rlm@0
|
143 but something in his manner froze her. In a meek tone she answered,
|
|
rlm@0
|
144
|
|
rlm@0
|
145 "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before I left, but I had to hurry. I
|
|
rlm@0
|
146 called Ieran-sama when my flight arrived. Didn't she tell you"?
|
|
rlm@0
|
147
|
|
rlm@0
|
148 Syaoran looked away with barely suppressed anger, as if he were
|
|
rlm@0
|
149 addressing a hopelessly slow child. Then he nodded to the pile of
|
|
rlm@0
|
150 fabric on the floor and impatiently repeated himself, "What-are-you-
|
|
rlm@0
|
151 doing"?
|
|
rlm@0
|
152
|
|
rlm@0
|
153 "Oh", Sakura glanced at the dress she had dropped to the floor. She
|
|
rlm@0
|
154 scurried to pick it up, and held it in front of her husband. Her
|
|
rlm@0
|
155 smile faltered as he recoiled in horror at the unfinished costume he
|
|
rlm@0
|
156 had seen in his Mother’s magic. He yelled at her,
|
|
rlm@0
|
157
|
|
rlm@0
|
158 “Put that damn thing away. Where did you get it? What is it?”
|
|
rlm@0
|
159
|
|
rlm@0
|
160 Neatly folding the costume, she placed it back on the desk, then
|
|
rlm@0
|
161 faced Syaoran, her hands held to her breast as she replied,
|
|
rlm@0
|
162
|
|
rlm@0
|
163 "I, I wanted to make something for Tomoyo-chan. Well, actually, she
|
|
rlm@0
|
164 made it, the design, I mean, I could never do something like this.
|
|
rlm@0
|
165 And she started it, but because of the wedding dress being the last
|
|
rlm@0
|
166 thing she would make for me she didn't finish, and I thought I could,
|
|
rlm@0
|
167 well, finish it for her, and I found some of mother's buttons in the
|
|
rlm@0
|
168 attic and..." Her voice trailed off into silence. Caught by her
|
|
rlm@0
|
169 husband's withering stare, she felt small and foolish.
|
|
rlm@0
|
170
|
|
rlm@0
|
171 As he calmed down, Syaoran struggled to keep his sense of gravity.
|
|
rlm@0
|
172 As if impressed by his own cleverness, he sneered, “I knew that crazy
|
|
rlm@0
|
173 girl had something to do with all this. All right, get your things
|
|
rlm@0
|
174 together and let’s go.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
175
|
|
rlm@0
|
176 But instead of compliance, Sakura stood with her hands clasped and
|
|
rlm@0
|
177 head bowed. Syaoran stepped towards her, irritated at this unusual
|
|
rlm@0
|
178 hesitation. In a soft but firm voice she broke the silence, “I’m not
|
|
rlm@0
|
179 going. I have to see Tomoyo-chan”.
|
|
rlm@0
|
180
|
|
rlm@0
|
181 He stopped short, flabbergasted. All he could manage was a hoarse,
|
|
rlm@0
|
182 “What”?
|
|
rlm@0
|
183
|
|
rlm@0
|
184 Sakura looked up at him, jade eyes flashing a fiery determination he
|
|
rlm@0
|
185 had rarely seen since the days of card capturing. But her voice was
|
|
rlm@0
|
186 calm as she continued, “Tomoyo-chan said she is going to leave. I
|
|
rlm@0
|
187 have to see her.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
188
|
|
rlm@0
|
189 The future Head of the House of Li frowned, struggling to suppress
|
|
rlm@0
|
190 his anger. He snapped at the woman within arm’s reach, “You can call
|
|
rlm@0
|
191 her on the phone, or write one of your silly letters. We’re going
|
|
rlm@0
|
192 home- now”.
|
|
rlm@0
|
193
|
|
rlm@0
|
194 Sakura looked at the floor and slowly shook her head. He felt a wild
|
|
rlm@0
|
195 urge to strike her, to slap the defiance out of her. Barely in
|
|
rlm@0
|
196 control of his raging emotions he spluttered, “I can’t believe I’m
|
|
rlm@0
|
197 hearing this. What kind of garbage did she fill your head up with”?
|
|
rlm@0
|
198 He paused, and drew a deep breath. This was not like his complacent
|
|
rlm@0
|
199 wife at all. Very well. The chivalrous husband would try a new tack
|
|
rlm@0
|
200 and forgive his erring wife. He pronounced in a patronizing and
|
|
rlm@0
|
201 reassuring tone, “Now let me help you with your bags and we can talk
|
|
rlm@0
|
202 about it on the plane.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
203
|
|
rlm@0
|
204 But Sakura looked up at him, earnestly gazing at his face. Finally,
|
|
rlm@0
|
205 she said simply, “No”.
|
|
rlm@0
|
206
|
|
rlm@0
|
207 Fists clenched, shaking with fury, he turned his back on her,
|
|
rlm@0
|
208 shaking with rage. How dare she defy him! After running off to Japan,
|
|
rlm@0
|
209 wasting money they did not have, and now refusing to obey. Unable to
|
|
rlm@0
|
210 contain his anger, he slammed his fist into the door, nearly rattling
|
|
rlm@0
|
211 it off the hinges. “Damn it!” he yelled, “Who do you think you are?”
|
|
rlm@0
|
212
|
|
rlm@0
|
213 Whirling to face her, falling into a fighting stance, his mind raced
|
|
rlm@0
|
214 out of control. But the young woman simply stood before him, calm and
|
|
rlm@0
|
215 unafraid. Suddenly there came a knock on the door, and a male voice
|
|
rlm@0
|
216 called out, “Sakura-chan, what’s going on?” The door opened, and a
|
|
rlm@0
|
217 pajama-clad Touya peered into the room. Seeing Syaoran, he frowned,
|
|
rlm@0
|
218 and then looked carefully at his younger sister. In as neutral a
|
|
rlm@0
|
219 voice as he could manage he asked,
|
|
rlm@0
|
220
|
|
rlm@0
|
221 “Do you need any help”?
|
|
rlm@0
|
222
|
|
rlm@0
|
223 Sakura relaxed, smiled, shook her head and answered sweetly, “No,
|
|
rlm@0
|
224 everything is fine. I’m sorry we woke you up. We’ll be more quiet”.
|
|
rlm@0
|
225
|
|
rlm@0
|
226 Touya shot another warning look at his least favorite brother-in-law
|
|
rlm@0
|
227 before sizing up the seemingly unconcerned young woman. “OK”, he
|
|
rlm@0
|
228 spoke in his usual laconic voice, as if such domestic squabbles
|
|
rlm@0
|
229 around the house at 3 A.M were the norm, “But you call me if you need
|
|
rlm@0
|
230 me. Goodnight.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
231
|
|
rlm@0
|
232 When the door closed, the two stood silent, facing each other for
|
|
rlm@0
|
233 the longest time. Finally, with an exasperated sigh Syaoran fixed his
|
|
rlm@0
|
234 wayward wife with a hard stare. His voice was commanding, even
|
|
rlm@0
|
235 patronizing, as if he would no longer brook her exasperating
|
|
rlm@0
|
236 insolence,
|
|
rlm@0
|
237
|
|
rlm@0
|
238 “Sakura, you have to make choices in life. You have to have
|
|
rlm@0
|
239 priorities. You’re a big girl now, married to the future Head of the
|
|
rlm@0
|
240 House of Li. I can’t have you running off every time some loopy girl
|
|
rlm@0
|
241 from the past calls you on the phone. You just can’t do this sort of
|
|
rlm@0
|
242 thing. It makes me look ridiculous. Tomoeda was nice, but it’s all
|
|
rlm@0
|
243 over now. You have a new life, with me You’re going to have to choose
|
|
rlm@0
|
244 between your friend and your true love. Now, go get your things and
|
|
rlm@0
|
245 we’ll forget all about this”.
|
|
rlm@0
|
246
|
|
rlm@0
|
247 At first Sakura looked at him with surprise, and then stared at the
|
|
rlm@0
|
248 floor. The Chinese sorcerer smiled as he detected the glint of tears
|
|
rlm@0
|
249 welling in her eyes. She looked deep in thought, and after a moment
|
|
rlm@0
|
250 looked up at him with wet and sparkling eyes. Her voice was brimming
|
|
rlm@0
|
251 with emotion as she spoke,
|
|
rlm@0
|
252
|
|
rlm@0
|
253 “I’m sorry, Syaoran-chan. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I
|
|
rlm@0
|
254 guess I knew the choice would come someday soon, just not this soon.
|
|
rlm@0
|
255 If only I’d known. I’m so sorry.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
256
|
|
rlm@0
|
257 The tears coursed down her cheeks as she stood miserably before him.
|
|
rlm@0
|
258 Well, he thought, at least she’s speaking sense now. He almost felt
|
|
rlm@0
|
259 pity for her, though his anger was still too fresh and raw for that.
|
|
rlm@0
|
260 He did care for her, though at times like this love was an ordeal.
|
|
rlm@0
|
261 Still, he would find it in his heart to forgive her. But he would
|
|
rlm@0
|
262 make sure she never saw or talked or wrote to that crazy Daidouji
|
|
rlm@0
|
263 woman ever again. Syaoran’s quiet voice brimmed with magniminity for
|
|
rlm@0
|
264 a defeated foe, “Come on Sakura-chan. Let’s go home.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
265
|
|
rlm@0
|
266 But the woman did not move, looking at him sadly as she spoke, “I’m
|
|
rlm@0
|
267 not going.”
|
|
rlm@0
|
268
|
|
rlm@0
|
269 Too baffled to be angry, he gawked at her, mouth open as if his
|
|
rlm@0
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270 words were frozen in mid-sentence. Sakura shook her head and spoke
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rlm@0
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271 almost pleadingly,
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rlm@0
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272
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rlm@0
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273 “It’s my fault. I should have known my own feelings. If I had, all
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rlm@0
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274 this would never have happened. I’ve hurt so many people: you, your
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rlm@0
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275 mother, Meiling-chan, Tomoyo-chan. All because I was too stupid to
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rlm@0
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276 know what was in my heart.”
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rlm@0
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277
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rlm@0
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278 Syaoran could only stare in disbelief as the woman hugged herself
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rlm@0
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279 tightly for reassurance before continuing,
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rlm@0
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280
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rlm@0
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281 “Syaoran-chan, you were always one of my very best friends. I
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rlm@0
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282 couldn’t have done what I did with the cards without you. It meant so
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rlm@0
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283 much to me that we were together. And I do love you, as a friend
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rlm@0
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284 forever in my heart. But now I know my true love is Tomoyo-chan. I’ve
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rlm@0
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285 loved her all along, but just didn’t understand. Not until last
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rlm@0
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286 night. Last night. That’s only a day ago.” The woman looked stunned
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rlm@0
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287 as she said this, as if an entire life had been lived in only 24
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rlm@0
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288 hours. After a brief smile, she spoke again,
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rlm@0
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289
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rlm@0
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290 “Last night I finally realized who I love. My one, true love. My
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rlm@0
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291 special person. She was so close for so long that I never knew until
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rlm@0
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292 she was gone. I could have saved everyone so much pain if I knew.”
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rlm@0
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293
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rlm@0
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294 Pain. Syaoran felt it in a wave, as helpless as when Meiling
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rlm@0
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295 connected with his solar plexus earlier that day. Staring at his wife
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rlm@0
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296 in dumb incomprehension, he managed to croak out,
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rlm@0
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297
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rlm@0
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298 “But Sakura, I love you.”
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rlm@0
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299
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rlm@0
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300 She looked at him, and he had the uncomfortable sensation that with
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rlm@0
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301 her magic she could see straight to his heart. She smiled and asked
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rlm@0
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302 gently, “Do you really love me Syaoran, like that? It really hasn’t
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rlm@0
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303 felt that way. Not like I thought it would. Not like what I feel from
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rlm@0
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304 her.”
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rlm@0
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305
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rlm@0
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306 Indignant and righteous, he made ready to protest. But the auburn-
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rlm@0
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307 haired woman held up her hand and commanded his silence. A sudden
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rlm@0
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308 wave of something ineffable washed over them both, a shuddering,
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rlm@0
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309 prickly sensation that enveloped him like a living fog. He stared at
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rlm@0
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310 his wife, for somehow she was changed. It was as if all the magic
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rlm@0
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311 were drained out of her like water in broken crockery. She stood
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rlm@0
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312 before him, not the Mistress of the Cards, but as little Kinomoto
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rlm@0
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313 Sakura, sweet, genki, and horribly ordinary. Her voice was the same
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rlm@0
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314 he had heard on a playground long ago, when the Cards were in the
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rlm@0
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315 air, and a Japanese schoolgirl had just begun her long journey,
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rlm@0
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316
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rlm@0
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317 “You loved Yukito once, like I did. But when my powers grew greater
|
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rlm@0
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318 than his, then your affection for me did, too. Do you really love me,
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rlm@0
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319 Syaoran-chan? If I was just plain old Sakura, would you still love me
|
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rlm@0
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320 then?”
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rlm@0
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321
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rlm@0
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322 He recoiled at the sight. Stripped her magical glamour she seemed
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rlm@0
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323 small and weak. Where was the enchanting woman he had married? Where
|
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rlm@0
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324 was the successor to the famed Clow Reed? Was this some illusion, a
|
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rlm@0
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325 doppelganger that had abducted his precious wife and substituted some
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rlm@0
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326 bland and pathetic double? He began to speak, to accuse and threaten
|
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rlm@0
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327 this alien presence, when he heard Sakura’s voice, distant yet
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rlm@0
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328 familiar. She stared at him, his mind hers to know. Sadly shaking her
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rlm@0
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329 head, she quietly spoke,
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rlm@0
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330
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rlm@0
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331 “ I’m not an illusion. It’s just me. It’s just me without my magic.
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rlm@0
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332 It’s who I really am. But I don’t think it’s who you really love. Do
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rlm@0
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333 you? Do you really love me, Syaoran-chan?”
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rlm@0
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334
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rlm@0
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335 He felt sick as he looked at her. She was nothing, a nobody. In a
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rlm@0
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336 bitter tone he declared, “You sound just like Mother.”
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rlm@0
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337
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rlm@0
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338 Sakura let out a little sigh and the two stood silent. Finally, she
|
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rlm@0
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339 spoke in a voice etched with the pain of a new found knowledge,
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rlm@0
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340 “Ieran-sama is very wise. For all my power, she is much wiser than
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rlm@0
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341 me. She was right, Syaoran-chan. We don’t belong together. Now I know
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rlm@0
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342 that she didn’t really hate me. She just wanted what was best for
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rlm@0
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343 everyone. Even me.”
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rlm@0
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344
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rlm@0
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345 With that he looked up and saw her as he knew her, energy flooding
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rlm@0
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346 back, filling her pure power. In fear and awe he beheld her, once
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rlm@0
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347 again the dread Mistress of the Cards. He reeled backwards, confused
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rlm@0
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348 and frightened, his mother’s mocking voice blaring inside his head.
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rlm@0
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349 He held his hands to his temples as her piecing words echoed, “You
|
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rlm@0
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350 don’t love her. You love her power.” He felt helpless, a rag doll in
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rlm@0
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351 the hands of a blind and savage Fate. Struggling to regain his calm,
|
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rlm@0
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352 he leaned against the wall and whimpered. Sakura stood with her hands
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rlm@0
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353 at her side, unable to comfort her shattered husband. Finally he
|
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rlm@0
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354 composed himself enough to turn and face her. He was no man’s fool.
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rlm@0
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355 He was not to be trifled with. Trembling, he took an envelope from
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rlm@0
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356 his pocket, opened it, and placed a ticket on the nearby dresser. His
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rlm@0
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357 face was blank as he spoke,
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rlm@0
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358
|
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rlm@0
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359 “I’m leaving. If you are not on this plane when it departs, then
|
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rlm@0
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360 don’t bother coming back again. Ever.” He felt a surge of power, as
|
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rlm@0
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361 if he, and not this stupid and dangerous woman, was in control. She
|
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rlm@0
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362 bowed low, her sad, verdant eyes locked with his as she answered
|
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rlm@0
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363 softly,
|
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rlm@0
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364
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rlm@0
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365 “Hai, Syaoran. Sayonara.”
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rlm@0
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366
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rlm@0
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367 He strode for the door, and then stopped. Turning quickly, he gaped
|
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rlm@0
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368 at her, his face twisted with loathing. He spat out the bitter words,
|
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rlm@0
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369 “I don’t love you. I hate you.” Then he walked through the door and
|
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rlm@0
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370 shut it firmly.
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rlm@0
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371
|
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rlm@0
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372 For a long time, Sakura stared at the closed door. Syaoran’s parting
|
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rlm@0
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373 words stung her, even though she knew they were not true. Consumed
|
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rlm@0
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374 with anger, his words spilled, tainted and colored by out-of-control
|
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rlm@0
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375 emotions. But part of what he said was true: he did not love her. Or,
|
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rlm@0
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376 rather, he loved her as a friend, and no more. Oddly, this was great
|
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rlm@0
|
377 consolation for the shattered woman, who saw her marriage of months
|
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rlm@0
|
378 implode in minutes. Had Syaoran truly loved her, she would have been
|
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rlm@0
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379 chained to a marriage that was a terrible mistake. For thousands of
|
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rlm@0
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380 years, women have borne loveless matches, and Sakura would have been
|
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rlm@0
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381 one among millions of sad and broken hearts. Perhaps she could have
|
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rlm@0
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382 found some happiness in children, or teaching, or even magic, all
|
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rlm@0
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383 while her heart longed for her true love. Or she might have died
|
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rlm@0
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384 slowly, longing for a love she could never have. Even leaving him
|
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rlm@0
|
385 later was a stark possibility, and could only have made things worse
|
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rlm@0
|
386 with the passage of time.
|
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rlm@0
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387
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rlm@0
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388
|
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rlm@0
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389 With a sigh, Sakura sat at her desk and again took up sewing. The
|
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rlm@0
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390 rhythm of needle and thread calmed her heart, for there was stillness
|
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rlm@0
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391 in the motion of every stitch. Suddenly she flinched as the needle
|
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rlm@0
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392 pricked her finger. Gazing at her hand, she put her work on the table
|
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rlm@0
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393 and slipped off the golden wedding ring. Placing it by the ticket on
|
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rlm@0
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394 the desk, she thought, I'll send it to him later. She stared at her
|
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rlm@0
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395 now bare finger. The ring came off so easily, as if their marriage
|
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rlm@0
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396 had never been. But that was not quite true either, for much had
|
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rlm@0
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397 happened in married life she did not regret, and would never forget.
|
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rlm@0
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398 Picking up the yellow dress and sewing again, she recalled the
|
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rlm@0
|
399 exquisite anticipation of her wedding day, and the mystery of the
|
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rlm@0
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400 night that followed. To be in Syaoran’s company, if not quite love,
|
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rlm@0
|
401 was pleasant, the companionship of two good friends. "It was my fault
|
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rlm@0
|
402 for wanting it to be more, for not knowing my own feelings", she
|
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rlm@0
|
403 whispered sadly. Curiously, Sakura felt no regret for the end of her
|
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rlm@0
|
404 marriage. But she did feel sorry for the pain she brought Sayoran,
|
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rlm@0
|
405 and knew that regret would never leave her.
|
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rlm@0
|
406
|
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rlm@0
|
407 Paradoxically, the greatest gift of her marriage was the misery of
|
|
rlm@0
|
408 being without Tomoyo. Growing up with the girl, she came to take her
|
|
rlm@0
|
409 amazing presence for granted. Being so close to that dazzling spirit
|
|
rlm@0
|
410 had blinded Sakura to her own true feelings. Only in Hong Kong did
|
|
rlm@0
|
411 she learn the hard lesson of what Tomoyo meant to her. When marriage
|
|
rlm@0
|
412 pulled them apart, she finally saw that life without the azure-eyed
|
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rlm@0
|
413 girl was simply impossible. Accepting Syaoran's proposal, she prayed
|
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rlm@0
|
414 marriage would bring her love. It did, but in a way completely
|
|
rlm@0
|
415 unforseen. Marriage was a strange path leading her far away, yet
|
|
rlm@0
|
416 bringing her back to where she started. But oh, how diffreent things
|
|
rlm@0
|
417 were now! When she left, Tomoyo was her friend. But tonight, as her
|
|
rlm@0
|
418 marriage ended, Tomoyo was her one, true love. And tommorow she would
|
|
rlm@0
|
419 see her again.
|
|
rlm@0
|
420
|
|
rlm@0
|
421 Sakura felt awash in giddy anticipation. Freedom swept her soul like
|
|
rlm@0
|
422 a gentle zephyr, a whipsering wind of possibilities and hope. Soon
|
|
rlm@0
|
423 she would see Tomoyo, lay her love at the dark-haired girl's feet,
|
|
rlm@0
|
424 and beg her to stay. She gigled, wondering about the woman's reaction
|
|
rlm@0
|
425 to so stunning a revelation. Perhaps she could never take the place
|
|
rlm@0
|
426 of that special someone in her friend's gentle heart. But just to be
|
|
rlm@0
|
427 with her, to feel Tomoyo's love again was enough. Even more, Sakura
|
|
rlm@0
|
428 wanted to make her happy, to heal the pain in those azure eyes. "I'll
|
|
rlm@0
|
429 give her everything I have", she thought, stitching the last button
|
|
rlm@0
|
430 into place, "though she already has my heart."
|
|
rlm@0
|
431
|
|
rlm@0
|
432 With that, she held up the costume, admiring the work. Well,
|
|
rlm@0
|
433 admiring Tomoyo's work, anyway, perfect as always. Her own
|
|
rlm@0
|
434 contribution was flawed: an uneven line here, a too-big button hole
|
|
rlm@0
|
435 there. But it was her work, and now the costume was theirs. Lovingly
|
|
rlm@0
|
436 she folded the silken fabric, and suddenly felt very, very tired.
|
|
rlm@0
|
437 Resting her head on the desk she whispered dreamily, "Tommorow.
|
|
rlm@0
|
438 Tommorow I'll see her. I'll see my angel."
|
|
rlm@0
|
439
|
|
rlm@0
|
440 And so, sleep came at last.
|
|
rlm@0
|
441
|
|
rlm@0
|
442
|
