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annotate stories/ccsnewlyweds.txt @ 0:ed1308d04df2 moonlitnights

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[svn r1] initial import
author rlm
date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:24:59 -0500
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rlm@0 1 Kero-chan's Newlywed Game
rlm@0 2 As transcribed by Yukito no Miko
rlm@0 3
rlm@0 4 ------------------------------------------------------
rlm@0 5
rlm@0 6 Don't look for continuity, plot, or other things of
rlm@0 7 that nature. Yes, I know the Newlywed Game is
rlm@0 8 supposed to have four couples. I didn't feel like
rlm@0 9 adding a fourth.
rlm@0 10
rlm@0 11 All things Sakura belong to CLAMP and Kodansha,
rlm@0 12 though eventually they'll belong to the demon Mixx as
rlm@0 13 well. Don't expect me to give them any credit.
rlm@0 14 Bastards.
rlm@0 15
rlm@0 16 ------------------------------------------------------
rlm@0 17
rlm@0 18 Kero-chan: Konyanyachiwa!! This is a very special
rlm@0 19 Kero-chan ni omakase no corner!! We're going to play
rlm@0 20 Kero-chan's Newlywed Game, a very fun game invented
rlm@0 21 by me, Cerberus! Of course, since I invented it, it'd
rlm@0 22 have to be fun, right? I'm so cool! Now, let's meet
rlm@0 23 our contestants!! Couple number one, come on down!
rlm@0 24
rlm@0 25 Yukito: Are? I thought the term was "Go down..."
rlm@0 26
rlm@0 27 Touya: *o_o*
rlm@0 28
rlm@0 29 *Yukito and Touya sit down*
rlm@0 30
rlm@0 31 Kero-chan: o_o;; Err. . . thank you, couple number
rlm@0 32 one. Couple number two, come join us!
rlm@0 33
rlm@0 34 *Sakura and Tomoyo come out and sit down, amidst
rlm@0 35 cheers from the yuri fangirls and boys and screams of
rlm@0 36 horror from the Sakura/Syaoran fans. Tomoyo pulls out
rlm@0 37 a video camera and starts recording*
rlm@0 38
rlm@0 39 All: ^_^;;
rlm@0 40
rlm@0 41 Sakura: Tomoyo-chan... this is already being recorded
rlm@0 42 by the TV cameras...
rlm@0 43
rlm@0 44 Tomoyo: I know, but they might focus on someone other
rlm@0 45 than Sakura-chan! ^_^
rlm@0 46
rlm@0 47 Sakura: ^.^;;
rlm@0 48
rlm@0 49 Kero-chan: Right! Let's put that aside! Couple number
rlm@0 50 three, join us!
rlm@0 51
rlm@0 52 Syaoran: We are not a couple!!!
rlm@0 53
rlm@0 54 Eriol: Come on, koibito. ^_^
rlm@0 55
rlm@0 56 Syaoran: I am not your koibito! Let go of me!
rlm@0 57
rlm@0 58 *Eriol drags Syaoran to the third set of chairs and
rlm@0 59 ties Syaoran to one of them, then cheerfully sits in
rlm@0 60 the last chair*
rlm@0 61
rlm@0 62 Syaoran: Rai tei shou rai kyuu kyuu nyo ritsu ryo RAI
rlm@0 63 GEKI!! *lightning travels from his sword to the
rlm@0 64 chair, frying the ropes. Unfortunately, it also fries
rlm@0 65 Syaoran. Eriol takes the opportunity to re-tie him.*
rlm@0 66
rlm@0 67 Eriol: If you don't wake up, we can't win the contest
rlm@0 68 for the most loving newlyweds! ^_^
rlm@0 69
rlm@0 70 Syaoran: We're not married!!
rlm@0 71
rlm@0 72 Eriol: Of course we are, anata! ^_^
rlm@0 73
rlm@0 74 Syaoran: We're not, we're not!!
rlm@0 75
rlm@0 76 Eriol: Not even for the grand prize? ^_^
rlm@0 77
rlm@0 78 Syaoran: NO!!
rlm@0 79
rlm@0 80 Sakura: Ne, Kero-chan, what is the grand prize?
rlm@0 81
rlm@0 82 Kero-chan: An all-expense paid trip to China!
rlm@0 83
rlm@0 84 Syaoran: *freezes* You mean... I could finally find
rlm@0 85 the Spring of Drowned Boy and end this terrible
rlm@0 86 curse?!
rlm@0 87
rlm@0 88 All: O_o;;;;
rlm@0 89
rlm@0 90 Syaoran: Never mind... >_> <_<
rlm@0 91
rlm@0 92 Kero-chan: Err. . . right! Let's put that aside!
rlm@0 93 First question is for the men!
rlm@0 94
rlm@0 95 *silence*
rlm@0 96
rlm@0 97 Kero-chan: *pause* Hmm. . . I guess that's a bit of a
rlm@0 98 problem, isn't it? Okay! People on the left are the
rlm@0 99 wives!
rlm@0 100
rlm@0 101 Eriol: I guess that's you, itoshii. ^_^
rlm@0 102
rlm@0 103 Syaoran: We're not married!!
rlm@0 104
rlm@0 105 Yukito: Does this mean you're going to wear a dress
rlm@0 106 for me, To-ya? ^_^
rlm@0 107
rlm@0 108 Touya: . . . . . maybe later. . . . . .
rlm@0 109
rlm@0 110 Kero-chan: . . . Okay! First question! "What is your
rlm@0 111 wife's biggest turn-on?" Couple number one, you can
rlm@0 112 start us out!
rlm@0 113
rlm@0 114 Yukito: Oh, that's easy! It's when I wear my bunny
rlm@0 115 suit! ^_^
rlm@0 116
rlm@0 117 Kero-chan: Wife number one?
rlm@0 118
rlm@0 119 *Touya holds up sign that says, "When Yuki wears his
rlm@0 120 bunny suit."*
rlm@0 121
rlm@0 122 Kero-chan: Good job! Couple number one has one point!
rlm@0 123 Couple number two?
rlm@0 124
rlm@0 125 Sakura: Umm... recording us--
rlm@0 126
rlm@0 127 Kero-chan: That's enough of an answer!! Wife number
rlm@0 128 two?
rlm@0 129
rlm@0 130 *Tomoyo holds up a sign that says, "When Sakura-chan
rlm@0 131 wears my costumes." Sakura looks crestfallen*
rlm@0 132
rlm@0 133 Kero-chan: Oh, that's too bad! But we still have lots
rlm@0 134 of questions to go, so don't lose hope yet! Couple
rlm@0 135 number three, what turns your wife on the most?
rlm@0 136
rlm@0 137 Eriol: Feathers. ^_^
rlm@0 138
rlm@0 139 Kero-chan: Wife number three?
rlm@0 140
rlm@0 141 *Syaoran holds up a sign that says, "I'm not his
rlm@0 142 wife. (feathers)"*
rlm@0 143
rlm@0 144 Kero-chan: Good job! Next question! "Which of
rlm@0 145 Sakura's battle costumes is cutest?"
rlm@0 146
rlm@0 147 Yukito: Her whats?
rlm@0 148
rlm@0 149 *Touya holds up sign: "Her whats?"*
rlm@0 150
rlm@0 151 Kero-chan: I guess that counts. . . Couple number one
rlm@0 152 has two points! Couple number two?
rlm@0 153
rlm@0 154 Sakura: All of them.
rlm@0 155
rlm@0 156 *Tomoyo holds up a sign that reads, "All of them are
rlm@0 157 cute when Sakura-chan wears them!"*
rlm@0 158
rlm@0 159 All: ^_^;;
rlm@0 160
rlm@0 161 Kero-chan: I guess couple number two has one point!
rlm@0 162 But doesn't anyone think my costumes are the cutest?
rlm@0 163 Couple number three, what's your answer?
rlm@0 164
rlm@0 165 Eriol: If I say your costumes, will we get an extra
rlm@0 166 point? ^_^
rlm@0 167
rlm@0 168 Kero-chan: Yes.
rlm@0 169
rlm@0 170 Sakura: Kero-chan, that's not fair!!
rlm@0 171
rlm@0 172 Kero-chan: Yeah, well that's why it's my show and not
rlm@0 173 yours. Couple number three?
rlm@0 174
rlm@0 175 Eriol: Kero-chan's costumes. ^_^
rlm@0 176
rlm@0 177 *Syaoran holds up a sign that says, "The rubber kitty
rlm@0 178 suit"*
rlm@0 179
rlm@0 180 Kero-chan: Well, you got it wrong but you get a point
rlm@0 181 anyways! Good job!
rlm@0 182
rlm@0 183 Eriol: *smirk* ^_^
rlm@0 184
rlm@0 185 Sakura: *scowl*
rlm@0 186
rlm@0 187 Kero-chan: Going onto question three, couple number
rlm@0 188 one has two points, couple number two has one point,
rlm@0 189 and couple number three has two points! Question
rlm@0 190 three is "I like a girl who has a sense of humor.
rlm@0 191 Tell me your favorite joke."
rlm@0 192
rlm@0 193 *silence*
rlm@0 194
rlm@0 195 Kero-chan: Oops! Wrong questions!! Hahahahaha. . .
rlm@0 196 *throws cards backstage* The real question number
rlm@0 197 three is around here somewhere. . .
rlm@0 198
rlm@0 199 *Spinel hands him a set of cards*
rlm@0 200
rlm@0 201 Kero-chan: Thanks! Okay, question number three: "I'm
rlm@0 202 a fool and I consort with goat--" HEY!! These aren't
rlm@0 203 the questions!!
rlm@0 204
rlm@0 205 Suppi: *smirk*
rlm@0 206
rlm@0 207 *Kero-chan digs around backstage and finally comes up
rlm@0 208 with some questions, hopefully the right ones*
rlm@0 209
rlm@0 210 Kero-chan: Okay! I think these are the right ones!
rlm@0 211 "If your wife was an alarm clock, how would she wake
rlm@0 212 you up?" Couple number one?
rlm@0 213
rlm@0 214 Yukito: I'm not sure that I want to say it on
rlm@0 215 television...
rlm@0 216
rlm@0 217 Kero-chan: You have to or you don't get the point.
rlm@0 218
rlm@0 219 *Yukito walks over to Kero-chan and the panel of
rlm@0 220 judges and starts whispering to them. Time passes.
rlm@0 221 More time passes. Nakuru, the backstage crew, falls
rlm@0 222 asleep*
rlm@0 223
rlm@0 224 Kero-chan: Okay, that's enough. **O_O** Wife number
rlm@0 225 one, what did you put?
rlm@0 226
rlm@0 227 *Touya hands him a thick stack of paper*
rlm@0 228
rlm@0 229 Kero-chan: What the. . . this is the Starr report!
rlm@0 230
rlm@0 231 Touya: Stapled underneath is the kama sutra.
rlm@0 232
rlm@0 233 Kero-chan: ***O_O***
rlm@0 234
rlm@0 235 Kero-chan: Ahem. Judges, will we accept those
rlm@0 236 answers?
rlm@0 237
rlm@0 238 Terada-sensei: Yeah, I guess so.
rlm@0 239
rlm@0 240 Kero-chan: What about the other judges?
rlm@0 241
rlm@0 242 *no answer. Sonomi is still taking notes and Fujitaka
rlm@0 243 has his hands over his ears*
rlm@0 244
rlm@0 245 Fujitaka: You're talking about my SON!!
rlm@0 246
rlm@0 247 Kero-chan: *sweatdrop* I guess we'll count it, then.
rlm@0 248 . . Couple number two?
rlm@0 249
rlm@0 250 Sakura: She'd let me sleep and record it.
rlm@0 251
rlm@0 252 Kero-chan: I'm afraid that's not a valid answer.
rlm@0 253
rlm@0 254 Tomoyo: But that's what I put. . . *holds up sign
rlm@0 255 that says, "Let Sakura-chan rest and record her
rlm@0 256 sleeping face"*
rlm@0 257
rlm@0 258 All: ^_^;;
rlm@0 259
rlm@0 260 Kero-chan: Judges?
rlm@0 261
rlm@0 262 *the judges confer, with Sonomi doing most of the
rlm@0 263 talking*
rlm@0 264
rlm@0 265 Terada-sensei: She's--
rlm@0 266
rlm@0 267 Sonomi: WE've.
rlm@0 268
rlm@0 269 Terada-sensei: We've decided to accept that answer.
rlm@0 270
rlm@0 271 Sonomi: Good. Couple number three?
rlm@0 272
rlm@0 273 Kero-chan: Hey, I'm supposed to say that! Couple
rlm@0 274 number three?
rlm@0 275
rlm@0 276 Eriol: If he found me sleeping he'd take the
rlm@0 277 opportunity to try and kill me. ^_^
rlm@0 278
rlm@0 279 Kero-chan: Maybe he's not as dumb as I thought. Well,
rlm@0 280 kid? How would you wake him up?
rlm@0 281
rlm@0 282 *Syaoran holds up a sign that says, "With a mallet"*
rlm@0 283
rlm@0 284 Kero-chan: We'll accept that answer because I like
rlm@0 285 it. Round two after these commercial messages!
rlm@0 286
rlm@0 287 *silence*
rlm@0 288
rlm@0 289 Kero-chan: Nakuru! Run the commercials!
rlm@0 290
rlm@0 291 Nakuru: *wakes up* Hmm?
rlm@0 292
rlm@0 293 Kero-chan: The commercials, the commercials!!
rlm@0 294
rlm@0 295 Nakuru: Oh, right!! ^_^
rlm@0 296
rlm@0 297 Kero-chan: -_-;;
rlm@0 298
rlm@0 299 *fade to commercial*
rlm@0 300
rlm@0 301 <eyecatch>
rlm@0 302
rlm@0 303 ********************
rlm@0 304
rlm@0 305 Kaho: Hello. Have you been feeling down? Like you
rlm@0 306 don't know where your life is going?
rlm@0 307
rlm@0 308 Yamazaki: *dramatically* How did you know?!
rlm@0 309
rlm@0 310 Kaho: I know everything. Which is why you should call
rlm@0 311 Kaho's Psychic Hotline. We'll tell you your destiny
rlm@0 312 in convoluted half-truths that you'll later convince
rlm@0 313 yourself were useful predictions and not a waste of
rlm@0 314 399 yen a minute.
rlm@0 315
rlm@0 316 Yue: Kaho told me that my destiny would soon come to
rlm@0 317 an impasse. I realize now that she was talking about
rlm@0 318 Yukito getting mad when I got with Touya.
rlm@0 319
rlm@0 320 Ruby Moon: Kaho told me that the inner battle between
rlm@0 321 the ying and yang of masculinity and femininity
rlm@0 322 causes an imbalance in the psyche. Boy, was she
rlm@0 323 right!
rlm@0 324
rlm@0 325 Kaho: So call today, and spend hours trying to puzzle
rlm@0 326 out your destiny!
rlm@0 327
rlm@0 328 1-800-ASK-KAHO
rlm@0 329
rlm@0 330 Yamazaki: *even more dramatically* How DOES she DO
rlm@0 331 it?!
rlm@0 332
rlm@0 333 ********************
rlm@0 334
rlm@0 335 *a blond girl in jeans and a t-shirt with "YnM"
rlm@0 336 emblazoned across the chest comes out. Needless to
rlm@0 337 say, it's YnM in her one and probably only
rlm@0 338 self-insertation ever.*
rlm@0 339
rlm@0 340 YnM: Hello, everyone. I just wanted to say support me
rlm@0 341 in my hostile takeover of the universe. YnM for
rlm@0 342 empress. Yay.
rlm@0 343
rlm@0 344 *walks off*
rlm@0 345
rlm@0 346 Tamahome: I support her!
rlm@0 347
rlm@0 348 Duo: That's because she paid you, dude.
rlm@0 349
rlm@0 350 *fade out*
rlm@0 351
rlm@0 352 <eyecatch>
rlm@0 353
rlm@0 354 Kero-chan: Konyanyachiwa!! Have you been brushing
rlm@0 355 your teeth? Good! If you haven't your parents might
rlm@0 356 not let you keep watching the hit new show,
rlm@0 357 Kero-chan's Newlywed Game! We're back with out three
rlm@0 358 couples! Now it's time for the wives to answer the
rlm@0 359 questions. Our first question is, "What is the
rlm@0 360 strangest place you have ever--" *turns red* Who
rlm@0 361 worded this?
rlm@0 362
rlm@0 363 *Nakuru waves*
rlm@0 364
rlm@0 365 Kero-chan: -_-;; "What is the strangest place you
rlm@0 366 have ever *mumbles*
rlm@0 367
rlm@0 368 Sakura: I didn't even know that was a term for it...
rlm@0 369
rlm@0 370 Tomoyo: I did.
rlm@0 371
rlm@0 372 All: ^_^;;
rlm@0 373
rlm@0 374 Kero-chan: o_o; Husband number one, what do you think
rlm@0 375 wife number one put?
rlm@0 376
rlm@0 377 Touya: *thinks* In King Penguin?
rlm@0 378
rlm@0 379 Kero-chan: >_< Now that that image is in our heads,
rlm@0 380 what did wife number one put?
rlm@0 381
rlm@0 382 *Yukito holds up a sign that says, "In the meat
rlm@0 383 freezer at the supermarket." Everyone who had meat in
rlm@0 384 the previous month starts gagging*
rlm@0 385
rlm@0 386 Yukito: I thought we weren't going to tell anyone
rlm@0 387 about King Penguin, To-ya...
rlm@0 388
rlm@0 389 Touya: We weren't going to tell anyone about the
rlm@0 390 freezer thing either.
rlm@0 391
rlm@0 392 Yukito: Oops... but at least neither of us mentioned
rlm@0 393 the--
rlm@0 394
rlm@0 395 2 *Touya claps a hand over his mouth. Yukito bites him* 6
rlm@0 396
rlm@0 397 Touya: Ow! Don't do that!
rlm@0 398
rlm@0 399 Yukito: You started it...
rlm@0 400
rlm@0 401 Touya: I want you to touch me gently...
rlm@0 402
rlm@0 403 Yukito: Later, when we're alone.
rlm@0 404
rlm@0 405 *rose petals blow across the stage*
rlm@0 406
rlm@0 407 All: o_O;;
rlm@0 408
rlm@0 409 Kero-chan: Moving onto couple number two... as
rlm@0 410 quickly as possible...
rlm@0 411
rlm@0 412 Tomoyo: Hoeeeee...
rlm@0 413
rlm@0 414 Kero-chan: What?
rlm@0 415
rlm@0 416 Tomoyo: That's what Sakura-chan put.
rlm@0 417
rlm@0 418 *Sakura holds up a sign that simply says, "HOEEEEE!"
rlm@0 419 and has a drawing of a furiously blushing Sakura*
rlm@0 420
rlm@0 421 Kero-chan: Judges, will we accept that answer?
rlm@0 422
rlm@0 423 *Sonomi and Terada-sensei confer. Fujitaka's still
rlm@0 424 covering his ears*
rlm@0 425
rlm@0 426 Terada-sensei: She says we should.
rlm@0 427
rlm@0 428 Kero-chan: Next time I want unbiased judges...
rlm@0 429
rlm@0 430 Sonomi: I'm not biased.
rlm@0 431
rlm@0 432 Kero-chan: Err... of course not. Let's put that
rlm@0 433 aside. Couple number three, dare I ask?
rlm@0 434
rlm@0 435 Syaoran: *slightly green* We NEVER [censored]!!!
rlm@0 436
rlm@0 437 Nakuru: Wow, even I didn't know that was a term for
rlm@0 438 it.
rlm@0 439
rlm@0 440 Tomoyo: I did.
rlm@0 441
rlm@0 442 All: o_o;
rlm@0 443
rlm@0 444 *Eriol holds up his "He'll deny our many nights of
rlm@0 445 passion. ^_^" sign*
rlm@0 446
rlm@0 447 Sakura: Eriol-kun, you're really good! I bet you make
rlm@0 448 your wife very happy!
rlm@0 449
rlm@0 450 Syaoran: I'm not his wife!!
rlm@0 451
rlm@0 452 Kero-chan: -_-;; Let's move on to the next question,
rlm@0 453 shall we? This one's multiple choice, so we don't
rlm@0 454 have to worry about inappropriate answers. "How would
rlm@0 455 you describe your honeymoon: Relaxing, Exciting, or
rlm@0 456 Boring?"
rlm@0 457
rlm@0 458 Audience: Ooooooooo...
rlm@0 459
rlm@0 460 Kero-chan: Couple number one, start us off.
rlm@0 461
rlm@0 462 Touya: Relaxing.
rlm@0 463
rlm@0 464 *Yukito's sign: "Relaxing. Very"*
rlm@0 465
rlm@0 466 Kero-chan: *breaths a sigh of relief* Thanks for not
rlm@0 467 elaborat--
rlm@0 468
rlm@0 469 Yukito: After all, we didn't leave bed all week...
rlm@0 470
rlm@0 471 Kero-chan: Too much information!
rlm@0 472
rlm@0 473 Touya: We realized the dangers of the hot tub pretty
rlm@0 474 quickly...
rlm@0 475
rlm@0 476 Kero-chan: *attempts to cover ears* Ack!
rlm@0 477
rlm@0 478 *Touya and Yukito shrug*
rlm@0 479
rlm@0 480 Kero-chan: Next! Next!
rlm@0 481
rlm@0 482 Tomoyo: Exciting.
rlm@0 483
rlm@0 484 *Sakura holds up a sign with "Exciting" written in
rlm@0 485 big letters*
rlm@0 486
rlm@0 487 Kero-chan: Moving on before you try and explain your
rlm@0 488 answer...
rlm@0 489
rlm@0 490 Sakura: *blushes* It's not like THAT! We traveled
rlm@0 491 around and ate lots of oishii cakes and things.
rlm@0 492
rlm@0 493 Kero-chan: Ack! Too much-- *pause* I guess that's
rlm@0 494 okay... *pause again* Without me?! ;_;
rlm@0 495
rlm@0 496 Sakura: We weren't going to tell you about it...
rlm@0 497
rlm@0 498 Kero-chan: Couple number three! Please end this
rlm@0 499 question!
rlm@0 500
rlm@0 501 Syaoran: We had no honeymoon because WE'RE NOT
rlm@0 502 MARRIED!!!!
rlm@0 503
rlm@0 504 Eriol holds up his sign, which says, "He'll deny the
rlm@0 505 very existence of our honeymoon, including the nights
rlm@0 506 of endless pleasure we spent, sweaty bodies
rlm@0 507 intertwined--" and brakes off where he ran out of
rlm@0 508 room to write*
rlm@0 509
rlm@0 510 *Syaoran turns bright green and rushes for the
rlm@0 511 bathroom. After having lost the better part of his
rlm@0 512 lunch, he returns and sits back down*
rlm@0 513
rlm@0 514 Sakura: Syaoran-kun, why didn't you take that
rlm@0 515 opportunity to escape?
rlm@0 516
rlm@0 517 Syaoran: O_O! <--- didn't think of it
rlm@0 518
rlm@0 519 *Eriol, by this time, has re-tied him*
rlm@0 520
rlm@0 521 Syaoran: >:/
rlm@0 522
rlm@0 523 Eriol: There, there, muffin. They know you just don't
rlm@0 524 want to leave my side.
rlm@0 525
rlm@0 526 Sakura: Yeah, that'd be a good reason.
rlm@0 527
rlm@0 528 Syaoran: But... but...
rlm@0 529
rlm@0 530 Eriol: Why else would I risk untiing him so he could
rlm@0 531 deal with his morning sickness?
rlm@0 532
rlm@0 533 Syaoran: Wha...?
rlm@0 534
rlm@0 535 Tomoyo: *claps hands* Syaoran-kun will make a
rlm@0 536 wonderful mother!
rlm@0 537
rlm@0 538 Syaoran: I'M NOT PREGNANT!!
rlm@0 539
rlm@0 540 Eriol: If it's a boy we'll name him Clow.
rlm@0 541
rlm@0 542 Syaoran: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! *passes
rlm@0 543 out*
rlm@0 544
rlm@0 545 Eriol: *pats his hand* There, there, love. *to
rlm@0 546 others* His constitution is a bit frail. Please, feel
rlm@0 547 free to move onto the next question.
rlm@0 548
rlm@0 549 Kero-chan: Thanks. Final question: *pause* *shudder*
rlm@0 550 "What bedroom fantasy have you acted out that should
rlm@0 551 have remained a fantasy?" ...couple number one,
rlm@0 552 please answer as briefly and undescriptively as
rlm@0 553 possible.
rlm@0 554
rlm@0 555 Touya: Well, there was this one time when Yuki wanted
rlm@0 556 to try it while skydiving-- wait, I want to change my
rlm@0 557 answer. When we tried it underwater. He almost
rlm@0 558 drowned and there were all these fish staring at
rlm@0 559 us...
rlm@0 560
rlm@0 561 Kero-chan: *begins twitching* No more... no more...
rlm@0 562
rlm@0 563 Yukito: They're your questions. *holds up sign that
rlm@0 564 says simply, "Star Wars"*
rlm@0 565
rlm@0 566 Touya: That wasn't THAT bad, was it?
rlm@0 567
rlm@0 568 Yukito: Oh, it was FINE for you. YOU didn't have to
rlm@0 569 be Leia.
rlm@0 570
rlm@0 571 Touya: Gomen ne, Yuki. I didn't know. *clasps
rlm@0 572 Yukito's hand*
rlm@0 573
rlm@0 574 Yukito: *big dewey eyes* To-ya...
rlm@0 575
rlm@0 576 *they start necking*
rlm@0 577
rlm@0 578 Audience: Wooooooooooooooooooo!!
rlm@0 579
rlm@0 580 Kero-chan: Not on the air! Not on the air! This is
rlm@0 581 network television!! Couple number two, at least get
rlm@0 582 the cameras off them!
rlm@0 583
rlm@0 584 Tomoyo: Well, one time we used the Clow Cards to--
rlm@0 585
rlm@0 586 Kero-chan: I think that's enough of an answer.
rlm@0 587 Sakura?
rlm@0 588
rlm@0 589 *Sakura holds up a sign that says "Clow Cards" on it*
rlm@0 590
rlm@0 591 Kero-chan: Good job, couple number two. That puts you
rlm@0 592 up to five points. Couple number one has four points,
rlm@0 593 and couple number three has five or six points,
rlm@0 594 depending on whether or not they get this one right.
rlm@0 595 Couple number three?
rlm@0 596
rlm@0 597 Syaoran: *slowly regaining consciousness* Bedroom
rlm@0 598 fantasies my @$$!!
rlm@0 599
rlm@0 600 Eriol: Careful, darling. They say babies can hear
rlm@0 601 what you say even before they're born. We don't want
rlm@0 602 our bundle of joy to grow up with a potty mouth. ^_^
rlm@0 603
rlm@0 604 Syaoran: WHAT bundle of joy?!
rlm@0 605
rlm@0 606 Kero-chan: Hey, husband number three! Sign!
rlm@0 607
rlm@0 608 *Eriol holds up his sign, which quoth, "He'll be too
rlm@0 609 embarrassed about how he looked as a meter maid even
rlm@0 610 to mention it. ^_^"*
rlm@0 611
rlm@0 612 Kero-chan: Judges?
rlm@0 613
rlm@0 614 Fujitaka: I get to decide since I listened to this
rlm@0 615 one!
rlm@0 616
rlm@0 617 *the other judges shrug*
rlm@0 618
rlm@0 619 Fujitaka: Okay... it counts.
rlm@0 620
rlm@0 621 *silence*
rlm@0 622
rlm@0 623 Fujitaka: I don't get applause?
rlm@0 624
rlm@0 625 All: -_-;;
rlm@0 626
rlm@0 627 Kero-chan: Now, since that's resolved... Going into
rlm@0 628 the bonus round, couple three is in the lead,
rlm@0 629 followed by couple two and couple one. The bonus
rlm@0 630 question is worth five points, so any of our
rlm@0 631 contestants could win. The bonus question is: "If
rlm@0 632 your husband had to sum up your sex drive in one
rlm@0 633 word, it would be [blank]" *pause* Oh, I can't WAIT
rlm@0 634 to hear these answers. *wince*
rlm@0 635
rlm@0 636 Touya: Slow.
rlm@0 637
rlm@0 638 Kero-chan: You expect me to believe that after what
rlm@0 639 I've heard today?
rlm@0 640
rlm@0 641 Touya: Well, compared to his...
rlm@0 642
rlm@0 643 *Yukito holds up a sign that says, "Well, it is kind
rlm@0 644 of slow...", which isn't really one word. Did
rlm@0 645 everyone catch that? Good! The judges didn't, and
rlm@0 646 they got a point anyways*
rlm@0 647
rlm@0 648 Kero-chan: Couple number one is now in the lead with
rlm@0 649 9 points, though that's not conclusive in the least,
rlm@0 650 since no one else has answered the bonus question.
rlm@0 651 Couple number two, your move.
rlm@0 652
rlm@0 653 Tomoyo: Creative!
rlm@0 654
rlm@0 655 *Sakura holds up her sign: "Kinky"*
rlm@0 656
rlm@0 657 Kero-chan: Judges?
rlm@0 658
rlm@0 659 *brief but amusing judge conference, which includes
rlm@0 660 Sonomi jumping on the table and demanding justice*
rlm@0 661
rlm@0 662 Kero-chan: Have you reached a decision?
rlm@0 663
rlm@0 664 Terada-sensei: We'll accept it. *cowers under
rlm@0 665 Sonomi's glare*
rlm@0 666
rlm@0 667 Kero-chan: Okay! Couple number two is now in first
rlm@0 668 place! Couple number three, final question, final
rlm@0 669 answer. How would your husband sum up your sex drive?
rlm@0 670
rlm@0 671 Syaoran: When it comes to him, non-existent.
rlm@0 672
rlm@0 673 *Eriol holds up his sign: "Since he's embarrassed
rlm@0 674 about the fact that he likes to [censored] like
rlm@0 675 bunnies...*
rlm@0 676
rlm@0 677 Nakuru: Oooh, more new vocabulary! *writes down*
rlm@0 678
rlm@0 679 Yukito: Is that a personal remark?
rlm@0 680
rlm@0 681 *"...he'll pretend that he's as innocent as a
rlm@0 682 schoolgirl"*
rlm@0 683
rlm@0 684 *Everyone looks at Terada-sensei*
rlm@0 685
rlm@0 686 Terada-sensei: *o_o* Schoolgirl! Right! Innocent!
rlm@0 687 *cough cough* That's what he said, all right! That
rlm@0 688 answer counts! Moving on, moving on!!
rlm@0 689
rlm@0 690 Kero-chan: Then, I guess couple number three wins.
rlm@0 691 Congratulations, kid, you're going to a fabulous
rlm@0 692 second honeymoon in China!
rlm@0 693
rlm@0 694 Syaoran: But I LIVE in China! How is that a vacation?
rlm@0 695
rlm@0 696 Announcer (Yamazaki-kun): You've won an all-expense
rlm@0 697 paid trip to the beauuuuuutiful land of China, where
rlm@0 698 you'll enjoy--
rlm@0 699
rlm@0 700 Syaoran: Who says I'll enjoy it?!
rlm@0 701
rlm@0 702 Yamazaki-kun: The announcement.
rlm@0 703
rlm@0 704 Syaoran: Why should I believe it?
rlm@0 705
rlm@0 706 Yamazaki-kun: Because it was written by Kaho's
rlm@0 707 Psychic Hotline.
rlm@0 708
rlm@0 709 Syaoran: Really?
rlm@0 710
rlm@0 711 Yamazaki-kun: Of course! Would I lie to you?
rlm@0 712
rlm@0 713 Syaoran: Then. . . I guess. . . I should go? *looks
rlm@0 714 disgusted*
rlm@0 715
rlm@0 716 Yamazaki-kun: Of course! Kaho's Psychic Hotline is
rlm@0 717 never wrong! You know, psychic hotlines were first
rlm@0 718 invented in ancient Greece, when too many people
rlm@0 719 wanted to use the Oracle.
rlm@0 720
rlm@0 721 Syaoran: Really?
rlm@0 722
rlm@0 723 Chiharu-chan: *twitch twitch* Hey. . .
rlm@0 724
rlm@0 725 Yamazaki-kun: Time to go! *runs away, followed
rlm@0 726 closely by Chiharu-chan*
rlm@0 727
rlm@0 728 Chiharu-chan: Get back here, you!...
rlm@0 729
rlm@0 730 Syaoran: I don't know about this...
rlm@0 731
rlm@0 732 Eriol: Come on, dear. The vacation will relive
rlm@0 733 stress, and everyone knows future mothers should
rlm@0 734 avoid stress.
rlm@0 735
rlm@0 736 Syaoran: *grumbles*
rlm@0 737
rlm@0 738 *Eriol drags him offstage to go catch their plane.
rlm@0 739 Touya and Yukito are still sucking face. Nakuru
rlm@0 740 throws a blanket over them. Tomoyo is videotaping
rlm@0 741 Sakura*
rlm@0 742
rlm@0 743 Tomoyo: Your sad face is kawaii too!
rlm@0 744
rlm@0 745 Sakura: ^.^;;
rlm@0 746
rlm@0 747 Kero-chan: Well, it seems we ended a little earlier
rlm@0 748 than expected. But that's okay, because--
rlm@0 749
rlm@0 750 Meiling: I'll be singing for you! Everyone agrees
rlm@0 751 that I have the best singing voice!
rlm@0 752
rlm@0 753 Kero-chan: That wasn't quite--
rlm@0 754
rlm@0 755 Meiling: *sings* ~David Duchovny, why won't you love
rlm@0 756 me~
rlm@0 757
rlm@0 758 Kero-chan: Just roll next week's previews.
rlm@0 759
rlm@0 760 ~~Next time on Kero-chan's Newlywed Game~~
rlm@0 761
rlm@0 762 Kero-chan: "If you didn't exist and your wife had to
rlm@0 763 choose one of these people to marry, who would they
rlm@0 764 choose?"
rlm@0 765
rlm@0 766 *Dr. J and Relena walk out*
rlm@0 767
rlm@0 768 Duo: *looks nauseated* I think he'd choose Relena...
rlm@0 769
rlm@0 770 Heero: That's the purpose of the self-destruct
rlm@0 771 system.
rlm@0 772
rlm@0 773 ~~end clip~~
rlm@0 774
rlm@0 775 Meiling: ~I hold it in as best I can / I know I'm
rlm@0 776 just another fan~
rlm@0 777
rlm@0 778 Kero-chan: See you next week, everyone! Honana!
rlm@0 779
rlm@0 780 Meiling: ~And I can't wait anymore for him to
rlm@0 781 discover me / I've got it bad for David Duchovny!...~
rlm@0 782
rlm@0 783 *fade out*