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1 "I'll have to say I love you in a song"
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2 by Sara Jaye
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3 SaraJNES@aol.com
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4
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5 Wow, who'd have thought my first ever CCS fic would be a songfic? :P But
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6 that's what it is. In honor of Valentine's Day, I decided to make my writing
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7 debut with a short, sweet little songfic. It's a Sakura/Tomoyo story *ducks
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8 flames from Sakura/Syaoran fans*, and it's mostly from Tomoyo's point of
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9 view. Well, the song is at least, until the last few lines. After that, it
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10 switches to Sakura's. Parts from Tomoyo's point of view are encased in
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11 {}'s.
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12 I used the song "I'll have to say I love you in a song", by Jim Croce.
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13 Sorry if it's such an obscure one. ^^; I just thought it fit rather well.
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14 All lyrics are encased in *'s.
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15 I've never really seen CCS before, and only know a little about the
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16 manga. So I'm not sure of the time period the storyline covers. In this
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17 story, Sakura and Tomoyo are 13, but Syaoran and Sakura are (supposedly)
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18 falling for one another. So if I got any timeline or story elements wrong,
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19 please let me know.
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20 Anyways, I think that's enough for the author's notes, ne? :P Now, on
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21 with the story! ^_^
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22
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23
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24 [Disclaimers: CCS, Sakura, Tomoyo, and Syaoran are not mine, the belong to
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25 CLAMP. This story is for entertainment purposes, so please don't sue me.
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26 "I'll have to say I love you in a song" is the property of the late, great
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27 Jim Croce.
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28 This is a yuri fanfiction, meaning love between 2 girls. If you are either
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29 (a) homophobic and offended/bothered by this kind of thing or (b) a
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30 Sakura/Syaoran fan, I suggest you leave now, as you will definitely not like
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31 this. If you read this and are outraged/disturbed/etc, please do not blame
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32 me. :P But if none of the above apply to you, enjoy! ^_^]
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33
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34 ~
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35
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36 *Well, I know it's kind of late,
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37 I hope I didn't wake you.*
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38
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39 {I hate to call this late. I know you're probably asleep and would hate
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40 to disturb you or anyone else in the house. So if I did, gomen nasai.}
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41
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42 *But what I got to say can't wait,
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43 I know you'd understand.*
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44
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45 {I just really needed to tell you this. It's been driving me crazy for
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46 the longest time and if I put it off any longer, it's sure to kill me. But
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47 you'll probably understand. You've always been so sweet...among many other
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48 things.}
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49
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50 *Every time I tried to tell you
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51 The words just came out wrong.*
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52
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53 {I've tried to say this to you several times, but no matter how hard I
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54 tried, the words always got caught in my throat. And when I did manage to say
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55 something, it always came out wrong, like "I love that color on you", or
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56 "You're very important to me". Even if those things are true...they're not
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57 what I wanted to say.}
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58
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59 *So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*
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60
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61 {What I'm trying to say, and what I've been trying to say for all this
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62 time is...I love you, Sakura-chan. I always have, and I always will.}
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63
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64 *Yeah, I know it's kind of strange,
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65 But every time I'm near you,
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66 I just run out of things to say.*
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67
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68 {It's so strange. I'm usually so cheerful and talkative around people,
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69 and you've always been the shy one. Yet every time we're together, this shy,
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70 awkward feeling comes over me and I get so...tongue-tied. I don't know what
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71 to say...}
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72
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73 *I know you'd understand.*
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74
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75 {So you'll probably understand what I'm saying...or at least I hope.}
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76
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77 *Every time I tried to tell you
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78 The words just came out wrong.
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79 So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*
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80
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81 {People always say that it's better to confess something like this in
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82 person. But since I obviously can't do that, I've got to tell you over the
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83 phone. In this message. I just hope nobody else hears this before you do,
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84 Sakura.}
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85
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86 *(Guitar solo)*
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87
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88 {I can't believe it's come down to this, though...having to tell you my
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89 true feelings in an answering machine message. Were the little messages I've
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90 been sending for awhile not getting through? If that's the case...I'm not
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91 surprised. I love you more than life itself, and I hate to say anything
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92 negative about you...but you can be so dense sometimes, Sakura-chan. I know
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93 you've got other important things to worry about, but still...*sigh* Maybe
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94 it's my fault...maybe I'm being too subtle.
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95 And the sad thing is...even if you had been able to pick up on the hints,
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96 I know you couldn't feel the same way towards me as I feel towards you. I
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97 know you already have someone...I know you're slowly falling in love with
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98 Syaoran. But that is okay. I want you to be happy above all else, and if he
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99 makes you happy, then I hope you 2 get together. I want only the best for
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100 you, Sakura-chan. You deserve it.}
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101
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102 *Every time the time was right,
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103 All the words just came out wrong.*
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104
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105 {*sigh* Even when the moment was just perfect, I always managed to
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106 freeze...or he came by...sometimes I feel so frustrated. Why does something
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107 that should be as simple as this have to be so hard to say? Why?}
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108
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109 *So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*
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110
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111 {As long as you get this message, I'll be satisfied. I just hope...you
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112 don't feel any differently towards me...}
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113
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114 *Yeah, I know it's kind of late,
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115 I hope I didn't wake you.*
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116
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117 {Again, if I woke you or your family, gomen nasai. I'll go
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118 now...Goodnight, Sakura-chan. Sleep well. *voice breaks a little* I love you.
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119 *hangs up*}
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120
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121 *But there's something that I just got to say.
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122 I know you'd understand.*
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123
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124 I sneak dowstairs to the answering machine. I could've sworn Tomoyo just
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125 left me a message...but why? Could I just be imagining things? I walk to the
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126 table where the machine rests, and the light is flashing. Someone did leave a
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127 message. I press the "Play" button and listen.
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128
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129 *Every time I tried to tell you
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130 The words just came out wrong.
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131 So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*
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132
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133 By the time the message is over, I can't even blink. Did I actually hear
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134 this? Tomoyo loves me? I must be dreaming...I pinch myself just to be
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135 sure...this seems so unreal.
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136 "Ow!" I wince. I'm not dreaming. And now I feel guilty, rather stupid,
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137 and relieved. She does love me...
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138 I can't say that I was wishing the exact same thing the whole time. Until
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139 recently, I only thought of her as my best friend. But lately, I'd been
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140 noticing her in a different light...for the first time, I'm seeing just how
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141 wonderful she really is...how beautiful she looks, especially in the
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142 moonlight on a clear, starry night. And just how much she means to me. But
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143 I've also had feelings for Syaoran, so I was confused.
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144 'Not anymore,' I think. Quietly, I go back up to my room. I slip on my
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145 shoes and jacket, then open the window and climb out. For a minute I consider
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146 using the power of the Clow cards and flying to her house, but decide not to.
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147 It'd be too risky. Shivering, I quickly walk to Tomoyo's house.
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148
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149 Standing outside, I gaze into her window. It's dark, and the blinds are
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150 drawn almost all the way. She's probably asleep...I consider going back and
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151 just leaving her a message. 'No,' I tell myself. 'You owe it to both her and
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152 yourself to tell her in person.' I sigh, then pick up a tiny pebble and throw
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153 it up at her window, hoping not to wake her mother or her bodyguards. As I
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154 see her get out of bed and walk to the window, I feel my heart pounding in my
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155 chest. 'Please understand, Tomoyo-chan,' I pray.
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156 "Sakura-chan?" she yawns, rubbing her eyes and looking very surprised to
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157 see me. "Hi...can I talk to you?" I ask shyly. She nods, tossing a rope out
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158 the window. I climb up as fast as I can, then practically fall into the room,
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159 shivering.
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160 "You must be freezing," she says sympathetically, and wraps a blanket
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161 around my shoulders. "Thanks," I whisper. She smiles. "No problem," she says,
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162 settling down next to me on the bed. The next few minutes are silent.
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163 "What did you want to talk to me about?" she asks. I take a deep breath,
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164 then look at her. "I got your message." She blushes, and almost looks
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165 panicked.
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166 "You did?" she nearly cries out. I nod. "I see..." She looks down.
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167 "And?"
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168 "And...now I understand. And I'm very sorry for not seeing it
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169 before...for not picking up on your hints, and for not realizing I felt the
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170 same way." She blinks.
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171 "You mean...?" I nod. My heart beats faster, and I can barely get the
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172 words out. But somehow, I manage.
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173 "Aishiteru, Tomoyo-chan," I whispered. For a minute, she doesn't answer.
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174 Then she turns to me, her eyes shiny and that beautiful smile spreading
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175 across her face.
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176 "Sakura-chan..." she whispers. Several tears of joy run down her cheeks.
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177 I reach up and gently brush them away with my fingertips, then take her in my
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178 arms. "I-I just can't believe this...I never thought you could feel the same
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179 way," she chokes. I look into her eyes, my own sparkling with happiness.
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180 "I only wish I'd known my own feelings sooner," I whisper. She smiles and
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181 snuggles closer.
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182 "It's okay. I'm just happy I finally told you," she sighs. "I love you so
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183 much...finding out you feel the same way is just...more than I ever dreamed
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184 possible." Then she looked a little concerned. "What about Syaoran?" she
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185 asked.
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186 "He's just a good friend. I thought I loved him, but it was only a
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187 schoolgirl crush," I told her. We gaze into each other's eyes. She wraps her
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188 arms around my chest, looking deliriously happy.
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189 "I love you, Sakura-chan," she whispers.
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190 "And I love you." I lean my head in slightly, as does she. Our eyes
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191 close, and our lips slowly meet.
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192
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193 ~End~
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194
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195 Wow, that was a bit longer than I expected! ^^ But it was pretty damn fun
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196 to write. Sakura and Tomoyo are just too cute. ^-^
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197 Well, that's all for now. I dunno when I'll actually write my next CCS fic,
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198 but I hope I can soon. ^^
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199 Till then, ja ne! ^_^ |
