rlm@0: Hello minna-san! ^-^ I’ve wanted to write this story for a long time now. ^-^ I thought it would be fun to rlm@0: play on an old fairytale and force Sakura to figure out her feelings at the same time. If you have any rlm@0: suggestions, comments, or questions, please e-mail me. ^-^ Thanks for reading! *hugs* rlm@0: rlm@0: rlm@0: Sleeping Beauty rlm@0: By Amazoness Duo rlm@0: Amazonessduo@hotmail.com rlm@0: rlm@0: rlm@0: Gazing down at her sleeping form in the dark, I smile gently, lifting the blanket to cover her. Its rlm@0: times like this that make me realize how lonely my room normally is. The spacious confines where I keep rlm@0: my things seems like a bare cavern without her here. The darkness surrounding my bed in the large room is rlm@0: almost intimidating on its own. I usually have a video of her playing while I sleep. My room is practically a rlm@0: shrine to her, a constant reminder of her to me. Having her here… I quell the sudden wave of dizziness that rlm@0: threatens to overwhelm me just by her presence. She could never know the joy I felt just by her accepting rlm@0: my offer to spend the night. My fingers ever so gently brush through her beautiful short hair. She’s sleeping rlm@0: so peacefully. Lying next to her, I can’t help but feel some anxiety building at the bottom of my stomach. rlm@0: She is so perfect. Why can’t anyone see that? Never mind that; Li-kun already seems to notice. So the real rlm@0: question is why can’t I be the one to be there for her? A soft sigh escapes my lips. Of course not. I already rlm@0: got lucky enough to have her as my best friend. What are the chances that I could get that lucky again? rlm@0: Still… rlm@0: Sakura-chan looks like an angel. No, a goddess. Her gorgeous face looks up towards the heavens rlm@0: in its quiet slumber. It must have taken all of the artists in those same heavens to create such a beautiful rlm@0: creature as she. Dazedly, I find my fingers wandering across her warm cheek, pressing softly against it. rlm@0: There’s so much to say to her. But I already told her I’d explain when we were older. Anything I say would rlm@0: just confuse her. Or worse. So I’ll just let you sleep a little longer, Sakura-chan. When you’re older… My rlm@0: mind races for a moment, wondering if that day will ever come. Or maybe I was just fooling myself that I’d rlm@0: ever be able to truly explain to you how I feel. Leaning closer to her, I release another sigh. I can feel her rlm@0: breath against my face. You’re so wonderful, Sakura-chan. Oh, how I love you… rlm@0: My lips are almost touching hers now. Just another inch. Those lips… I’ve dreamt about them, rlm@0: about her. Licking my suddenly dry lips, that anxious feeling increasing by leaps and bounds. So close… rlm@0: My hand gently strokes her soft cheek. Eyes flutter shut as I lean forward… rlm@0: Sitting back up, I let out a frustrated cry. I can’t bring myself to do it. How can I steal her first rlm@0: kiss? No matter how much I want to, I can’t do that to her, even if she would never know. Just like how rlm@0: she’ll never know about how I feel. Shaking my head, I try to stop that line of thought before it gets any rlm@0: further. rlm@0: Whenever she’s around, my world feels complete. Whenever she’s not there, she’s all I can think rlm@0: about. I need her to live. I need her to be there, just as I need her as my best friend. I couldn’t live without rlm@0: that. But I want… I want her to hold me. I want to fall asleep in her arms, to wake up by her side, to tell her rlm@0: everything with a smile. rlm@0: Sitting on the edge of my bed, it seems like hours have passed. I’m not thinking about anything in rlm@0: particular. At least, nothing I can quite recall. My thoughts are on her. Its tempting to wake her up here and rlm@0: now and pour it all out to her, let her know once and for all exactly how I feel. Does she suspect it at all? Or rlm@0: does she just think I act strangely. A giggle almost surfaces at that. Maybe I do act a little strangely, but rlm@0: that’s just because no one understands to what extent Sakura-chan’s wonder lies. If they did, they’d do the rlm@0: same. She’s the most beautiful thing I could videotape. She dwarfs everything else I possibly could catch rlm@0: on film. She makes the costumes I sew look alive. They’re spectacular when they’re on her. She gives life rlm@0: to my designs. Everything about her touches me to the farthest reaches of my soul. How could I not treat rlm@0: her the way I do? How could I ever love someone else? rlm@0: She looks so radiant lying there in the pale moonlight. So peaceful. I can’t disturb that. Tomorrow. rlm@0: I’ll tell her tomorrow. Or the next day… rlm@0: rlm@0: I shift around under silky sheets, trying to get comfortable again so I can get back to sleep. The rlm@0: bright light filtering through curtained windows makes that almost impossible. Finally giving in to the rlm@0: inevitable, I yawn tiredly, sitting up in bed. A moment of disorientation hits me before I remember where I rlm@0: am. This is Tomoyo’s room and I’d been spending the night. I yawn again and stretch, wondering if maybe rlm@0: I should go back to sleep. Nah, that would be rude. And now that I’m up, I’m not that tired anyway. rlm@0: Scooting over to the edge of the bed, I swing my legs over the side. My bare feet brush against the rlm@0: soft carpeting, feeling soft and warm under my toes. Glancing around, I notice that the only thing missing rlm@0: from Tomoyo’s room seems to be Tomoyo. She had been right here last night. Did she already go for rlm@0: breakfast? I finally spot her asleep at her desk, her head on her arms. How long has she been there? Not all rlm@0: night, I hope. Poor girl. Getting up, I pad along the soft carpet to her side, careful not to wake her. Her long rlm@0: white nightgown looks much more elegant than my pajamas, I note. But then, Tomoyo always has been rlm@0: more elegant. Sometimes I envied that. From her beautiful singing to the designs she made to the way she rlm@0: acted. Her mother made her keep her hair long, but that didn’t keep her from pulling off some ravishing rlm@0: hairstyles. The boys must be crazy for her. rlm@0: Of course, there were rumors from time to time. I always tried to quash them, but Tomoyo never rlm@0: seemed to mind. ‘Scary Tomoyo’. I hate when schoolmates would say things like that about her. She’s rlm@0: just… unique. That’s all. When it comes down to it, she’s the most trustworthy, sweetest person I know. rlm@0: But that never protected anyone from nasty rumors. rlm@0: I can’t help but sweatdrop when I see the half finished sketch peeking out from under her arms of rlm@0: me in another costume. It really does look beautiful from what I can see. She puts so much into them. rlm@0: Wearing them is the least I can do for all her help. Brushing some of her silky dark hair away from her rlm@0: face, I smile down at her. My smile fades immediately when I see her. Something’s wrong. Her normally rlm@0: serene face looks troubled, almost painfully so. That’s something I don’t really see much on her, and never rlm@0: this bad before. Her pale cheeks are red and puffy, as if she’d been crying. Did she cry herself to sleep? But rlm@0: why? And why didn’t she wake me up? She knows I’d try to help. “Tomoyo-chan…” I let out sadly. My rlm@0: hand goes to her shoulder, but I don’t know if I should wake her or just wait. rlm@0: Tomoyo stirs against my touch, making the decision for me. Sitting up, her dark hair cascades rlm@0: down her back. She blinks sleepily, a hand going to her face as she brushes some hair from her eyes. rlm@0: “Sakura-chan? I’m sorry. I wanted to wake up before you so I could get breakfast ready. I must have slept rlm@0: in,” she says in her normally soft voice. She attempts to stand up, but I keep my hand gently on her rlm@0: shoulder to make sure she stays put. rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan, what happened last night? Were you crying?” I ask quickly, urgently. rlm@0: The dark haired girl blinks a few times, apparently caught off guard. Her fingers brush past her rlm@0: cheek as if she’s trying to recall the events of the night before. Her face sinks into an almost desperate look rlm@0: before her smile that I know so well returns. Tilting her head to the side, she flashes me that smile, her eyes rlm@0: closed and her hands on her lap. “I’m so happy Sakura-chan was concerned for me. Arigato, Sakura-chan.” rlm@0: I shake my head, concern still gripping me. “But why, Tomoyo-chan? Why were you crying? Why rlm@0: didn’t you wake me? I’d have wanted to help,” I argue. “I’m your best friend. Whatever it is, I’m always rlm@0: here to help you. You’re very important to me. I don’t want to see you sad. You can always tell me rlm@0: anything.” rlm@0: Tomoyo looks away for a long moment. Silence envelops us as I await her answer. When she rlm@0: looks back at me, she’s smiling again. “It was nothing. I was watching an old video I have of you that rlm@0: always gets to me. That’s why I didn’t wake you up, because I was watching you bravely capturing Clow rlm@0: Cards despite your life being in danger.” She sighs dreamily as she often does, a hand going to her cheek. rlm@0: I’d usually blush, but right now there are more important things to worry about. “Sakura-chan makes such a rlm@0: wonderful magical girl.” rlm@0: “I’m serious, Tomoyo-chan. What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me? And don’t tell me that rlm@0: you were just crying over a videotape of me,” I say sternly, trying to force the point. I don’t want to, but I rlm@0: need to know. What’s she hiding from me? I thought I was her best friend. rlm@0: rlm@0: I sit there, blinking uncomprehendingly at Sakura as my mind races to find a suitable explanation. rlm@0: Why isn’t she believing me? Whenever I pretend that I’m happy like this she’s fallen for it. Every single rlm@0: time. She never realizes that I’m hurting, that I’m masking how I truly feel. Because I don’t want to burden rlm@0: her with that. Because I don’t want her to have to deal with my problems. She’s my best friend. That’s rlm@0: good enough for me. If she knew when I was hurting inside, if she knew that it was always about her…. So rlm@0: why now? How did she all of the sudden see through my illusions this time? Sakura, this would be so much rlm@0: easier if you’d only let me pretend that everything was alright all the time. I do it for you. Why can’t you rlm@0: let me have that at least? Please, please don’t ask much further. I don’t know if I could ever say no to you. rlm@0: What I’d told her wasn’t truly a lie. It was more a slight bending of the truth. I had watched one of rlm@0: my videos of her last night. My favorite one. I believe it truly shows how wonderful she is. But that wasn’t rlm@0: why I was crying. I’d been crying since a while before that as I’d watched her blissfully sleeping form. It rlm@0: was about whether I’ll ever be able to tell her how I really feel. And if it even matters. I used to be able to rlm@0: tell myself that as long as she was happy, I would be as well. But now… The thought of forever being rlm@0: forced to watch her from afar, to never be able to have what I so dream of almost tears me apart. The rlm@0: knowledge that all of my dreams are nothing more than that. Maybe I’d been fooling myself just as much rlm@0: as I’d been fooling her that I was happy. rlm@0: I’d finally fallen asleep while trying to draw a new costume for her. I think it would have come out rlm@0: better if I’d been able to see through the tears. I’ll need to start it over again. Sakura deserves better than rlm@0: that. She deserves the best. How I wish I could be the one to give her the best. But I’ll always be there for rlm@0: her. I’ll help her through whatever I can, so I can make sure she winds up happy, no matter the results. I’ll rlm@0: be your guardian angel, Sakura. rlm@0: Sakura’s still staring at me expectantly, a little worriedly. I smile a little more, hoping that she will rlm@0: believe in me this time. “Its nothing, Sakura-chan. I was thinking too much about the future is all. It was rlm@0: late and I hadn’t had much sleep from all the costumes I had been working on this week. I guess it was just rlm@0: too much for some reason.” rlm@0: She looks disappointed at my answer. Her shoulder’s slump as she rubs one of her arms. rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan…” Sakura pleads, her emerald green eyes begging me to be honest with her. Why are you rlm@0: doing this to me? I’m trying to protect you, Sakura. I don’t want to put you through this. At least not until rlm@0: you’re older. Don’t make me tell you now. Not now. rlm@0: rlm@0: Why is she lying to me? Tomoyo won’t tell me why she was crying. But she can tell me anything. rlm@0: She knows that, doesn’t she? Her stormy blue eyes betray her soft smile, the turmoil in them leaping out to rlm@0: me. I reach out to her, but for once she shies away. I swiftly bring my hand back as if singed. How could rlm@0: this be happening? Whatever it is, it must be pretty bad if she won’t tell me. If she won’t trust me. I feel rlm@0: tears of my own welling up, but I can’t let those fall. Tomoyo needs me, even if she won’t tell me what’s rlm@0: going on. I sigh, frustrated. “Alright, Tomoyo-chan. You don’t have to say anything. Maybe this is another rlm@0: one of those things I won’t understand till I’m older.” rlm@0: Tomoyo blinks those stormy blue eyes of hers at me, watching me intently, quizzically. “Sakura- rlm@0: chan?” her soft voice ringing in my ears. rlm@0: Even with that fragile look on her ivory face, I can’t help but ball my fists in anger. “I’m sure rlm@0: you’ll have a whole lot to tell me when I’m older, huh? I guess I’m still too much of a child to understand rlm@0: anything, huh? I’m just too immature for you to trust, is that it?” As soon as those words are out, I instantly rlm@0: regret them. I open my mouth to apologize, but the damage is already done. My heart breaks in two as I see rlm@0: those hurt blue eyes turned up at me as if asking how I could say such things. My heart catches in my throat rlm@0: as I take a step back, trying desperately to put right what had gone wrong. rlm@0: rlm@0: How could she say that? I’m doing this for her. I don’t want to hurt her. Does she really think I rlm@0: don’t trust her? Oh, Sakura-chan, I just don’t want to hurt you… Hot tears roll down my face as Sakura rlm@0: stares at me from a few feet away, her mouth finally closing after trying to say something. Wiping at my rlm@0: stinging eyes, I bolt past her to my door. It surprises me that she doesn’t try to stop me from leaving. That rlm@0: just makes it hurt even more as I head barefoot down the stairs, my tears making everything a blur as I try rlm@0: desperately to get away. I love you. Don’t you know that? I’d do anything for you. I never want to hurt rlm@0: you… rlm@0: rlm@0: What have I done? I slump back on Tomoyo’s bed, burying my face in my hands. What I’d give to rlm@0: take that back. The Time Card? No, I probably couldn’t just stop myself from saying something. It looks rlm@0: like I’m on my own this time. Why did that have to slip out? Of course she trusts me. Whatever they are, rlm@0: she has her reasons for keeping them from me. Lashing out at her like that must have hurt her terribly. I rlm@0: just… I wanted to know what she won’t tell me. What can it be that she’d go to the lengths of hiding it rlm@0: from me? And she was pretending to be happy so I wouldn’t know she was hurt. But why? We’re supposed rlm@0: to be there for each other. She’s always there for me. Why can’t I be there for her? Why won’t she let me? rlm@0: I sigh as I sit up on the bed, trying to think of where Tomoyo may have gone. Her mom was way rlm@0: too overly protective of her, so I doubt she left the house without her bodyguards. So she was probably still rlm@0: here somewhere. But it’s such a big place. The thought of looking for her through the whole place seems rlm@0: daunting. I have to find her and apologize. I need to make things better between us. She means too much to rlm@0: me. I can’t lose her. Taking a quick glance around her room, I take in the many costume designs, videos, rlm@0: and unfinished costumes. All for me. rlm@0: Kami-sama, what did I do? rlm@0: rlm@0: Its cold out here. My feet are already numb from walking across the cold damp grass. I hug myself rlm@0: tightly, my body still wracked with sobs as her words come back to haunt me. It wasn’t supposed to be this rlm@0: way. She wasn’t supposed to know I hurt. She should have just waited until she was older and happy with rlm@0: someone else so I could watch her, be there for her, and completely forget about that little promise that I’d rlm@0: tell her that I love her. rlm@0: Uncertainty crashes over me like a wave breaking against the shore. Should I have just stayed and rlm@0: told her? Get this out in the open once and for all? It would prove that I still trust her and once and for all rlm@0: she’d know exactly how I felt. But would she understand? Would she understand the depth of how I feel? rlm@0: Just how much she means to me? How much I love her? A moment with her is worth a thousand deaths. rlm@0: Her smile is worth all the pain and misery this world has to offer. She’s and angel that lights my life from rlm@0: the midnight darkness that encompasses me. I want her to know that, but I fear that it would ruin things. rlm@0: That my angel would be frightened of me, no longer shining her light upon me. If I put it off, told her when rlm@0: she was older, then I could hope she’d understand more fully how I felt, even if it was from her love for rlm@0: someone else. Then maybe it wouldn’t ruin everything. I can’t live without her friendship. Like a flower rlm@0: without water, I’d shrivel up and die. I need you, Sakura… Please… rlm@0: Tears drip down off my chin. There’s so much to say, but its as if I can’t find my voice. I want to rlm@0: tell her with every piece of my soul, but I’m so afraid I’ll lose her. I’ve been paralyzed with indecision for rlm@0: so long and now I’ve ruined everything. If only I’d said something sooner. But then, would I still have lost rlm@0: her? Sakura-chan… rlm@0: Sakura thinks I don’t trust her, that I won’t tell her because I can’t use her help. I have to prove to rlm@0: her that that’s not the case. I have to let her know. Will that make things better? Please let it make things rlm@0: better. I just want to be your friend again. Forever. rlm@0: Standing up slowly, I shiver in the cold morning air. I gather my resolve and turn back to the rlm@0: house. This is it. I’ll tell you everything, Sakura-chan. I’ll finally tell you just how much you mean to me. rlm@0: For a long moment, I wonder if my tears are still blinding me. That can’t be her, can it? But it is. rlm@0: Sakura’s heading towards me, a worried expression etched on her face. I muster up a smile to try to rlm@0: convince her everything’s alright. I start running towards her. “Sakura-chan!” rlm@0: rlm@0: There she is! She was in the backyard the whole time. Poor thing, its far too cold for that right rlm@0: now. I need to get her inside and apologize quickly. I just hope she’ll listen. Of course she will. This is rlm@0: Tomoyo, afterall. And she’s.. smiling? I can’t help but return the smile. Maybe I didn’t screw things up as rlm@0: badly as I’d thought. Maybe… rlm@0: I stumble forward as I sense the Clow Card moments before it hits. The glow envelopes Tomoyo rlm@0: in a bright blue hue. It slowly fades away as Tomoyo drops to the cold grass in a jumble of ribbons and rlm@0: dark hair. “Tomoyo-chan!!” I yell as I run up beside her, falling to my knees. Grabbing her shoulder, I give rlm@0: her a shake, hoping she’ll open those pretty dark blue eyes of hers again, smile her usual smile at me and rlm@0: everything will be back to normal. rlm@0: She lays there almost deathly still in front of me. My heart thunders in my chest as my hopes are rlm@0: dashed. “Tomoyo-chan, please get up. Please…” My arms go around her as I pull her close to me, tears rlm@0: spilling from my eyes onto her cold cheek. I sit up suddenly, wiping at my tears. I felt her breathing. Softly, rlm@0: almost sleepily. Is that… Is she asleep? Almost in answer, Tomoyo rolls over on her side. A sigh of relief rlm@0: escapes my lips. I was so worried that she’d been hurt. But what did the Clow Card do? Is she okay? Will rlm@0: she be alright? rlm@0: I shake her again hoping she’ll wake up, but nothing happens. It figures. Clow Cards can never be rlm@0: simple. Neither can my life, it seems. Right when things looked like they would work out for the best, this rlm@0: had to jump in the way. rlm@0: I softly brush my fingers through her dark hair. Don’t worry, Tomoyo-chan. I won’t let anything rlm@0: happen to you. I’ll find a way to help you. No matter what. rlm@0: rlm@0: I can hear Kero yawn tiredly after he picks up the phone Tomoyo had given me to keep us in rlm@0: touch. She always seems to call when I’m feeling bad. I wonder how she does that. The irate voice of the rlm@0: Seal Beast calls me back from my wandering thoughts. “Sakura-chan, what is it? I was having the most rlm@0: wonderful dream. There was this giant cake and I…” rlm@0: “A Clow Card got Tomoyo-chan,” I say quickly, cutting him off. I know that will just irritate him rlm@0: even more, but I don’t have time. Tomoyo needs my help. rlm@0: “It had this giant strawberry on to…” rlm@0: “Kero-chan!” rlm@0: The Seal Beast finally stops relating his dream to me over the phone. I can hear him yawn tiredly rlm@0: again before answering. “A Clow Card? Which one? What’d it do?” rlm@0: In a rush of words, I pour out what had happened to Kero, praying that he’ll know what I need to rlm@0: do to save Tomoyo. There has to be something to wake her up. I wait silently on my side of the phone, rlm@0: waiting anxiously for his answer. It takes me a long moment to realize that I’m holding my breath. rlm@0: “Hmm…” I can see him scratching his chin on the other side of the phone in my mind. I almost rlm@0: smile for a moment before the gravity of the situation forces the thought away. “It sounds like the Sleep rlm@0: Card. It must have been drawn to her for some reason. I’d say it’s got its love spell on her.” rlm@0: “What? What’s that supposed to mean?” I switch the phone to my other ear as I pace back and rlm@0: forth worriedly. Glancing down at Tomoyo, I sigh, closing my eyes. rlm@0: “It put her to an eternal sleep to keep her from the pain of love. That’s its way of helping people rlm@0: that are being caused too much anguish by those sorts of things, ya know?” The Seal Beast yawns again on rlm@0: the other side of the phone. rlm@0: “But… How could it… Why did…” I take a deep breath, trying to get a clear grasp on my rlm@0: thoughts. “So Tomoyo-chan was…..” My eyes go wide as realization dawns on me. “That’s why she was rlm@0: crying last night. It was over who she’s in love with.” rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan was crying over it? But she never seems to get affected by anything. Well, rlm@0: anything but you,” Kero corrects himself. “That must be it. It really must have been hurting her, so sleep rlm@0: thought her eternal slumber would be much more peaceful for her, where she could dream of her love and rlm@0: won’t get hurt.” rlm@0: “Poor Tomoyo-chan,” I whisper softly. I had no idea she had been hurting so badly. My fingers rlm@0: gently brush past her pale cheek. She looks so peaceful lying there, dreaming sweet dreams. But I need to rlm@0: wake her up. Because I need her here with me. “But how do I help her, Kero-chan?” I demand, my voice rlm@0: quavering. rlm@0: “Oh, that one’s easy,” the Seal Beast assures me. rlm@0: “Yeah?” My voice nearly fails me as I hang on to his words. rlm@0: “You just have to get her true love to kiss her. She’ll wake up as soon as that happens, her stormy rlm@0: heart finally calmed.” rlm@0: Standing there, I stare at the phone. Her true love? How am I supposed to find that? She never rlm@0: talks about any of the boys at school, or anybody else for that matter. Who could it be? “But I have no idea rlm@0: who that is!” rlm@0: Silence reigns over the phone for what seems like an eternity. “Can I go back to sleep then?” rlm@0: rlm@0: I slump heavily back on Tomoyo’s bed after I finally reach her room, her body lying on top of me. rlm@0: Her long dark hair goes everywhere, some of it blinding me as it covers my face. I have Tomoyo’s pale, rlm@0: cold body in my arms. It had been a struggle getting her all the way here from outside, but I couldn’t leave rlm@0: her where she was. It just hits me as a lie here that I should have used the Power Card before attempting to rlm@0: carry her to her room. I gently try to push her off of me onto the bed but it proves more difficult than I rlm@0: thought it would be. rlm@0: After a few tries, I finally roll her onto her back on the soft bed. As I sit up and catch my breath, I rlm@0: silently watch her peacefully sleeping form. My eyes start to blur, a tear trickling down my cheek. I just rlm@0: want her to wake up and be alright. But that won’t happen, will it? She’ll only wake up if I can help her. rlm@0: But I don’t know how. She’s never told me about anyone she likes, let alone loves. She’s hinted at it, sure. rlm@0: Like when she told me she’d be happy as long as the one she loved was happy, but she’s never told me who rlm@0: that was. rlm@0: Pacing frantically around her room, ignoring the cold in my own body, I search for anything that rlm@0: could provide me with a clue as to who she loves. I go through all the things on her desk, but there are just rlm@0: pictures of costumes for me and some cloth and things. Nothing. Part of me worries that I shouldn’t be rlm@0: digging through her things, but this situation calls for it. Besides, I know she trusts me. There’s nothing rlm@0: here she couldn’t tell me. ‘I’ll tell you when you’re older…’ I wince as that thought goes through my head. rlm@0: What had she meant? She doesn’t really think I’m immature enough that I won’t understand, does she? rlm@0: What did she want me to wait for? I push the thought away. Of course she trusts me. She’s always told me rlm@0: how important I was to her. rlm@0: My search becomes more harried and desperate as everything I find turns out to be a dead end. rlm@0: Sifting through a neatly stacked pile of her tapes turns up nothing. All the titles are just about me. Sighing, I rlm@0: run both hands through my hair, trying to think of something, anything, that will show who Tomoyo’s love rlm@0: is. A diary? Does she keep a diary? Or maybe in her notebooks. I used to draw pictures of Yukito in my rlm@0: notebooks. Maybe she’s done the same. Could it be onii-chan? She used to blush around him. rlm@0: No matter how hard I look, I can’t find a diary. I thought she might have a video diary, but all the rlm@0: titles for the videos I could find didn’t sound like it. When she told me I was the only thing she liked to rlm@0: videotape, I guess she was serious. I spent a while looking for it, but I’m not sure if she has one. I’ll have to rlm@0: ask her if she wakes up. When she wakes up. Because she will. I’ll find out who she loves if it kills me. rlm@0: And I’ll make him kiss her if I have to. rlm@0: Her notebooks didn’t really help, either. They’re filled with her notes and pictures of me as rlm@0: Cardcaptor Sakura. I recognize some of the costumes I’m wearing in them, actually. Some of the ones I rlm@0: don’t recognize seem to be design sketches for when she finally does make the costume. I sweatdrop as I rlm@0: flip through the notebook, noticing some of the odd costumes she has in mind. Shaking my head, I try to be rlm@0: more serious. I promise I’ll wear ever single one of the costumes Tomoyo makes as long as she wakes up. rlm@0: The only thing left that I can think of is that its onii-chan. But that doesn’t feel right. And I know rlm@0: Touya doesn’t feel that way about Tomoyo. But if I figure out that he is the one she loves, I’ll make him. I rlm@0: shiver a little at the thought of someone else having to kiss Tomoyo to wake her up. I wish there was rlm@0: another way. But then, why should I feel bad about it if the person kissing her is the one she loves? Hoe… rlm@0: This is all so confusing. rlm@0: Reaching out, I brush her dark hair away from her face, smiling tearfully at my best friend. She rlm@0: looks at rest this time, not the sad look on her face she had when I’d woken her up the first time this rlm@0: morning. The Sleep Card seems to think this is for the best, that she won’t hurt anymore this way, but it rlm@0: hurts me looking at her like this. The thought that I’ll never be able to have her with me again sends shivers rlm@0: down my spine. Am I being selfish? Is she really better off this way? Wiping my tears from my eyes with rlm@0: my pajama sleeve, I shake my head. I need her. I don’t want to go on without her like this. “Oh, Tomoyo- rlm@0: chan,” I whisper. “Please wake up. Please just open your eyes and tell me it’s alright like you do so often. I rlm@0: need to hear that. I need to know you’re there. I need you.” I bury my head against her side, hot tears rlm@0: rolling down my cheeks. Sobbing against my unconscious best friend, I wind up falling asleep myself. rlm@0: rlm@0: What? Where am I? I feel disoriented. Blinking tiredly, I try to get a look around the room but I rlm@0: can’t see past the soft white cloth in front of me. For a moment I think it’s my pillow before its movement rlm@0: startles me. I stay deathly still, not quite awake enough to grasp what’s going on. The cloth keeps moving rlm@0: up and down in a soft, relaxing rhythm. Yawning, I almost allow the gentle motion to lull me back to sleep rlm@0: before a sense of urgency starts gnawing at me. There’s something I need to do, but what? And why is it so rlm@0: important. Trying to wake myself up, I stretch out with a yawn. My hand travel’s across the soft cloth rlm@0: before the texture changes. Its smoother, warmer now. Blinking curiously, I sit up, wiping some saliva from rlm@0: the edge of my mouth. It feels as if the whole world has come crashing down on me at the sight. Tomoyo- rlm@0: chan… She’s still asleep, breathing gently as if she doesn’t have a care in the world. Part of me clings to rlm@0: the idea that it was all a dream, that she’s really just fine, but after shaking her for over a minute with no rlm@0: response I have to give up on that hope. rlm@0: My shoulder’s slump as I watch her sleeping peacefully. I should be out doing something to save rlm@0: her but all I’ve done for the past two hours was sleep. Two hours? I glance over at her clock and push the rlm@0: sleeve of a costume out of the way to make sure I hadn’t mistaken the time. I haven’t. How could I have rlm@0: been out for two hours? She needs me and I wasn’t even doing anything to help her. But she felt so nice, so rlm@0: warm. I was so sad and worried, but when I was lying there against her, it all seemed... peaceful. Warm. rlm@0: Like everything was perfect. She always makes me feel that way. That’s part of why I want her to wake up rlm@0: so badly. “Oh, Tomoyo-chan... What am I supposed to do? I usually have you here to help me when rlm@0: dealing with things like this. I don’t know if I can do it on my own.” Brushing back some of her long rlm@0: grayish black hair from her shoulder, I stop at the curls at the end of the lock of hair I’m holding. I move rlm@0: the soft hair around between my fingers as I take a deep breath. “I never did get to cut your hair like you rlm@0: wanted me to after Yukito cut Touya’s hair. And there are a lot of costumes I haven’t been able to where rlm@0: for you. And you haven’t been able to videotape all those things you said you wanted to, like me getting rlm@0: married and all. If you wake up, I promise I’ll do it all for you. I’ll cut your hair, I’ll wear the costumes, rlm@0: I’ll let you videotape whatever you want. Just please wake up, Tomoyo-chan.” I clasp one of her snow rlm@0: white hands with both of my own and bring it up to my cheek, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill rlm@0: out anew. “There was so much you seemed to have planned. For me, for the both of us. You can’t just sleep rlm@0: forever. You can’t.” Part of me wants to demand to know who she loves so I can save her but the other part rlm@0: knows it would be pointless. I’ve wracked my brain over and over again and I can’t think of anyone. rlm@0: Except Touya, but she blushes that same way around me even more often, so I don’t have much hope in rlm@0: that. I lightly stroke her pale cheek, vowing to find out who it is. She smiles softly in her sleep, shifting rlm@0: around to get more comfortable. If only I knew what she was thinking. rlm@0: This is like a fairy tale gone horribly wrong. Tomoyo’s been placed in a deep sleep until she gets rlm@0: kissed by her one true love. Unless I can find her prince charming, she’ll sleep forever. But every time I try rlm@0: to get myself to go looking, I can’t force myself to leave her side. I could always use the Mirror or the rlm@0: Illusion to stay here so her mother and her bodyguards won’t get suspicious, but I can’t even convince rlm@0: myself to do that. Fairy tale’s always have a happy ending, don’t they? So things should work out in the rlm@0: end, right? But what if this is like those one’s where it’s a painful lesson learned and it turns out horribly? rlm@0: What if Tomoyo never wakes up? Taking a deep breath, I try to force back those thoughts, but it’s so hard. rlm@0: On the verge of tears, I grasp onto my sleeping best friend looking for the comfort she always manages to rlm@0: provide me. For a long moment, I just lie there holding onto her as I try to pull myself back together. rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan..” I whisper softly. “Come back to me.” Maybe it is selfish to want her back, but I don’t rlm@0: care anymore. It hurts too much inside. I just want her here with me. I’d do anything to have her back. rlm@0: Fairy tale... This is like a fairy tale... Sitting up on my knees on her bed, an idea starts to come to rlm@0: me. If this is like a fairy tale, why can’t I play along? Fumbling for the key around my neck, I can see rlm@0: Tomoyo holding up a new costume ready to videotape my escapades. Part of me is glad that she can’t rlm@0: record this because I feel pretty foolish that I’m actually going to go through with it. But right now I’m rlm@0: willing to try anything. rlm@0: Holding my staff in front of me, I can’t shake the feeling that this is all just wrong. Tomoyo-chan rlm@0: should be over there videotaping me, not asleep on the bed. I should be in some extravagant costume for rlm@0: her, not in my pajamas. But I don’t really have much choice in any of that at the moment. I’ll let her tape rlm@0: whatever she wants with me in whatever costumes she wants when this is all over and done with, even if it rlm@0: all is embarrassing. rlm@0: Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I bring down the staff onto the floating form of the Card rlm@0: I’ve chosen. “Mirror!” A small mirror appears floating in front of me. I sweatdrop and look around before rlm@0: getting closer to it. “Mirror, show me who Tomoyo loves the most.” Hey, it worked for the evil queen, it rlm@0: should work for me. The image in the mirror shifts for a long moment. I clutch the staff to my chest rlm@0: nervously as I await the results. Now I’ll just have to drag him here and get him to kiss Tomoyo. Well, at rlm@0: least the hard part’s done. Thought I can’t help but feel a little jealous at the thought. Why should anyone rlm@0: be kissing Tomoyo like that? I can’t see anyone who should be with her in my mind’s eye. It doesn’t feel rlm@0: right to be finding someone to kiss her. But I don’t have time to worry about that. The image is almost clear rlm@0: now. I push those thoughts out of my head as I prepare to catch a glimpse of this mystery man. rlm@0: I can make out some of it, but it’s still not clear enough. Could it be Li-kun? No, it’s not him. The rlm@0: boy in the mirror has short brown hair and vibrant green eyes. It looks like he likes to smile. It’s most rlm@0: certainly not Touya. I allow myself a breath of relief at that. For some reason, I never did like it when she’d rlm@0: blush around him. Tomoyo had told me that it was only because he reminded her of me, but still… The boy rlm@0: in the mirror’s image begins to sharpen ever so slightly. He’s not quite as handsome as I thought he’d be. rlm@0: I’d say he’s more pretty than handsome. I feel bad that I don't know Tomoyo as well as I’d hoped. Why rlm@0: wouldn’t she tell me something this important? Why don’t I know what taste in boys she has? I’ll have to rlm@0: make that all up to her later. The boy’s really starting to look familiar now, but he’s not fitting any of the rlm@0: boys I can think of right now. Maybe someone keeps slipping my mind. As the image finally becomes rlm@0: clear, I gasp in shock. The ‘boy’ in the mirror... It’s me... rlm@0: My knees go weak at the sudden revelation. It can’t be, can it? But I’m a girl. She wouldn’t... How rlm@0: could she... I slump to the ground, sitting down hard. The world feels like its spinning around me. There’s rlm@0: no way that can be right. The Mirror must be wrong. Or maybe it’s trying to tell me something else. But rlm@0: what? rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan?” Looking at Tomoyo’s sleeping body, a nervous pit starts to form in my stomach rlm@0: as I try to figure out the odd answer that Mirror gave me. She knows the answer. I want to ask her to make rlm@0: sense of it for me, to tell me what it means. But she can’t. And won’t, unless I can figure it out on my own. rlm@0: And I think I already have. rlm@0: “Hoe…” rlm@0: Before I have a chance to figure out my feelings on the subject other than the shock and denial, a rlm@0: knock at the door frightens me worse than any ghost story Touya or Naoko-chan have ever told me. And I rlm@0: don’t have Tomoyo-chan to comfort me this time. Looking around the room, I try desperately to keep from rlm@0: panicking. Another knock at the door almost gives me a heart attack after I finally stand up. Licking my dry rlm@0: lips nervously, I open my mouth with an almost convincing lie to cover up the fact that its almost noon and rlm@0: Tomoyo’s still asleep but it dies before I can say anything as I see the doorknob moving. rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan? Sakura-chan? Are you two still in here?” Tomoyo’s mother, Sonomi, asks as she rlm@0: prepares to enter. Is that a playful note in her voice? Nah, that can’t be. Why would she have any clue about rlm@0: this whole thing with Tomoyo-chan? Touya told me that Tomoyo was just as eccentric as her mother, but I rlm@0: could never see it. Well, she does videotape me almost constantly and has had a costume ready for any rlm@0: conceivable occasion I may need one. Oh, and the unshakable faith she has in me. And the… Okay, maybe rlm@0: Touya was right. But I don’t have time for this right now. rlm@0: Pulling up the sheet over Tomoyo-chan’s head, I whisper an apology to her before pulling out one rlm@0: of my Cards. “Illusion! Show Sonomi-san that Tomoyo-chan’s awake and just fine,” I say quickly, almost rlm@0: tripping over the words. rlm@0: “Sakura-chan? I thought I heard you in there,” Sonomi says with a smile that only seems to show rlm@0: up when she’s talking about me or my mother. Or how much I’m like or not like my mother. My eyes go as rlm@0: wide as dinner plates as I see her standing there in Tomoyo’s bedroom doorway. Did she see me using the rlm@0: Card? Does she already know? How am I supposed to explain that her daughter’s going to sleep for an rlm@0: eternity and it’s all my fault? She’ll hate me for taking away her daughter the way she says my dad took rlm@0: away her Nadeshiko. My fears start to lessen as she walks into the room, seemingly unconcerned about rlm@0: having possibly seen me doing any sort of magic. “I was wondering where the two of you were. You’ve rlm@0: been cooped up here all day. But that’s completely all right. I used to spend hours in dear Nadeshiko-chan’s rlm@0: room when we were your age, talking about all sorts of things.” The older woman sighs dreamily, brushing rlm@0: some of her oddly cut hair out of her eyes. She’s always so much happier when talking about my mother rlm@0: than any other time I see her. For some reason something Tomoyo had once said about her mother’s rlm@0: preferences when I’d asked about her female bodyguards comes to mind for a brief instant, but I shrug it rlm@0: off. “It’s so nice to see the two of you spending so much time together. Sakura-chan, you really do make rlm@0: Tomoyo-chan so happy whenever you visit. The house is always so much livelier when you’re here. You rlm@0: must come visit us more often. It’s like having a little bit of dear Nadeshiko-chan with us.” rlm@0: Tomoyo smiles and nods to the left of me, scaring me senseless as it sets in that she’s there. A rlm@0: hand on my chest, I try to keep myself from being to obvious. It’s only Illusion doing just what I told it to. rlm@0: “Hai.. Hai! I’m really happy to be here! I’m glad Tomoyo-chan’s happy to have me here!” I blurt out rlm@0: nervously, hoping Tomoyo’s mother doesn’t notice how nervous I am. rlm@0: Sonomi laughs a little as she gives a conspiratorial wink to her ‘daughter’. “More than you know, rlm@0: Sakura-chan.” I blush deeply at that. No, I think I might know that. She must think I’m nervous because of rlm@0: some of Tomoyo’s weird stuff that I never have really gotten used to. For the most part, I just classify rlm@0: everything strange she does as that and ignore it. Her hobbies of videotaping me and making costumes for rlm@0: me, the chocolates on Valentine’s Day, the weird things she says that don’t make sense because they seem rlm@0: to suggest that she’s in love with me, all of it. Now I wish that I’d paid more attention to it all. rlm@0: Sonomi’s voice cuts through my thoughts like a knife, bringing me back to reality. “Are either of rlm@0: you hungry? You haven’t had anything all morning and I’ve had the chef cook up something extra special rlm@0: sense you’re staying with us, Sakura-chan. And for after that there’s some cake, too. I don’t know if you’re rlm@0: watching your figure, but I sure am.” rlm@0: As I’m about to explain why Tomoyo can’t come down for what sounds like a great lunch (and rlm@0: I’m sooooo hungry right now, too…), I hear a thud at the window. Glancing over at it, I see the familiar rlm@0: form of Kero-chan with his face pressed against the window. I yelp before I can help myself. Nearly rlm@0: stumbling through the illusion of Tomoyo, I pop up in front of the window, hoping that Sonomi didn’t see rlm@0: the Seal Beast. “It.. It sounds great, Sonomi-san, but I think... Umm… Tomoyo-chan and I had something rlm@0: we need to talk about before lunchtime. Thanks so much, though.” I smile widely, hoping she bought it. rlm@0: Tomoyo nods happily, still smiling. I have to admit, Illusion did a wonderful job of recreating her, even rlm@0: down to that beautiful nigh constant smile of hers. rlm@0: Sonomi pouts a bit, looking disappointed. It seems that she really did want to have lunch with us. I rlm@0: know she doesn’t get to see Tomoyo-chan often with how busy she is with her job, and I seem to remind rlm@0: her of my mother because she always starts talking about her when I’m around. I feel bad about having to rlm@0: get out of it, but she’d probably be even more disappointed if her daughter never wakes up. Her expression rlm@0: quickly changes as she smiles at the image of Tomoyo-chan. “Alright. You two have fun then. Good luck, rlm@0: Tomoyo-chan.” What was she wishing her luck with? Maybe with.. me? Does she think this is about rlm@0: Tomoyo-chan telling me how she feels? She already has more times than I can count. I just never rlm@0: understood. “Remember to come down as soon as you’re done talking. Or as soon as you get hungry. Bye, rlm@0: girls!” With that, she leaves for the moment. rlm@0: Sighing nervously, I lean back against the window. “Kero-chan!” I whirl around as I remember. rlm@0: Pulling Tomoyo’s window open, the Seal Beast flies in. “Where have you been!? I’ve been sitting here rlm@0: worried sick! I don’t know what to do about Tomoyo-chan and you leave me here all by myself. I don’t rlm@0: even have her to help me this time so I was all alone.” I lower my voice so Sonomi won’t accidentally hear rlm@0: us. Kero winces and floats over to the bed. “I’m sorry, Kero-chan. I’m just so worried about Tomoyo- rlm@0: chan.” With a thought, Illusion returns to her Card form. rlm@0: Kero smiles and shrugs. “It’s okay, Sakura-chan. Just get me some of that cake later and I’ll be rlm@0: fine. Sonomi-san has the best cakes. I need to meet her chef.” He crosses his arms thoughtfully for a rlm@0: moment as he floats over Tomoyo-chan. I slip the sheets off of her and sit down on her bedside. rlm@0: “I can’t get the cake if Tomoyo-chan doesn’t wake up. And what took you so long to get here?” I rlm@0: ask again. It doesn’t seem like him to wait that long. rlm@0: “Actually, I thought you would have solved the problem by now,” Kero says matter-of-factly. “I rlm@0: thought this would be easier for you if I wasn’t here. But it’s a good thing I got here when I did. I’d hate to rlm@0: miss the cake when you do wake her up.” rlm@0: I blush inwardly at the thought of waking her up. That’s right, isn’t it? In order to wake her up, she rlm@0: needs a kiss from me... I clutch my hands to my cheeks in embarrassment. “Hoe...” rlm@0: “So did you figure out how to wake her up yet?” Kero asks anxiously. rlm@0: I nod slowly. “Hai. But you knew I would, didn’t you.” He just smiles and crosses his small arms rlm@0: over his chest sagely. Taking a deep breath, I like my lips nervously. “Isn’t there another way? I never rlm@0: thought I’d be kissing her...” I blush again at that. rlm@0: “What?!” Kero asks in shock. One of Kero’s eyes seems to be larger than the other. “You? But I rlm@0: thought...” rlm@0: I cross my own arms as I stare at the floating bear. “And why not me? I’m not good enough for rlm@0: her?” He sure seemed shocked by the idea that I could be the one she was in love with. But now it seems rlm@0: completely obvious. rlm@0: Kero shakes his head quickly. “No, it’s not that, it’s just…” rlm@0: “Besides, I thought you knew. Right now it feels like I’m the only one who didn’t know about it.” rlm@0: A sigh escapes my lips as I look down at her. “I was mad that she wouldn’t tell me, but she kept telling me. rlm@0: I just didn’t listen. She wanted to wait till I was older because she thought I wouldn’t understand. And I rlm@0: didn’t. It took this to show me.” My arms wrap around my peacefully sleeping best friend tightly as I hug rlm@0: her close to me. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out, Tomoyo-chan.” rlm@0: Sitting up next to her, I look down at her soft ivory skin and pale lips. She looks so sweet rlm@0: slumbering there. My fingers go to her forehead, brushing some of her dark hair from her face. I’ve never rlm@0: felt so nervous in my life. And I don’t have her to comfort me yet. But I will as soon as I manage to pull rlm@0: this off. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. “I love you, too,” I whisper softly. It sounds like Kero takes rlm@0: that even worse than finding out that she loves me. My lips press softly against hers a split second rlm@0: afterwards, nervously at first, but their warm inviting feel quickly draws me in. My heart starts pounding in rlm@0: my chest as I hold the kiss. It takes me a long moment before I realize that she’s kissing me back. rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan!” I yell excitedly as I throw my arms around her again, this time greeted by her rlm@0: own pulling me closer. Tears of joy start dripping down my cheeks as the realization that she’s back rlm@0: shatters all the grief that I’d been holding. She smiles gently at me, our faces inches from each other. “I’m rlm@0: so sorry…” rlm@0: Tomoyo silences me with a soft kiss. “Don’t ever feel sorry, Sakura-chan. I knew you would rlm@0: rescue me in the end. I just thought it was a little too much to hope for that you could feel the same way.” rlm@0: She smiles up at me, fat crystalline tears dripping down her cheeks from her perfect blue eyes. The turmoil rlm@0: of emotions flooding through her must be horrible. Yet I’ve never seen her this happy before. I can’t help rlm@0: but smile myself as I hug her closer. Her long dark hair smells wonderful even while it tickles my nose. “I rlm@0: love you, Sakura-chan,” she whispers happily in her wonderfully sweet voice, holding onto me as if she’s rlm@0: afraid that I’ll disappear as quickly as a dream. I can’t blame her. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s all rlm@0: almost overwhelming. I blush as I feel her fingers gently brushing the hair from my teary eyes. rlm@0: My throat starts to swell as I look down at her, my best friend. She’s always been by my side, rlm@0: there to help me through anything. I always knew she was important to me, but I’d never figured out just rlm@0: how important. But now that I have, I’ll never let her go again. “I love you, too, Tomoyo-chan.” I yawn rlm@0: tiredly as my eyes start to flutter closed. I try to keep them open on the blurry image of Tomoyo, but the rlm@0: fall shut again heavily. Leaning my head against her shoulder, I snuggle closer, her arms around me lulling rlm@0: me to sleep. “Hanya…” rlm@0: rlm@0: Shaking my head sadly, I watch Sakura and Tomoyo pass out in each other’s arms. I wanted to rlm@0: warn Sakura to catch the Sleep Card, but I couldn’t interrupt. Besides, no one ever listens to me as it is. rlm@0: Why would they? I’m just Keroberas, the Seal Beast. Ah well, they’ll wake up in a few hours now that rlm@0: they’ve both found their true love. Still, it gave Sleep a good getaway by putting them to sleep like that. rlm@0: That just means more cake for me! Grinning to myself, I head for the door. It looks like today turned out rlm@0: pretty well after all. Daidouji-san always has great cake! rlm@0: rlm@0: rlm@0: rlm@0: