rlm@0: Dear Sakura
rlm@0: by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
rlm@0: amazonessduo@hotmail.com
rlm@0: pearsong1954@yahoo.com
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Dear Tomoyo-chan,
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Thank you for the beautiful letter. It means so much to me when you
rlm@0: write. I wanted to tell you about your letters. I guess that sounds
rlm@0: sort of silly, because you write them and know all about them. But
rlm@0: what I mean to say is, let me tell you why they are so special to me.
rlm@0: When I am expecting one, everyday I rush to the mailbox, or to the
rlm@0: little whicker basket where the servants deposit the mail, hoping it
rlm@0: has come. It was like this waiting for Syaoran-chan's letters all
rlm@0: those times he was away in Hong Kong. Except his letters were pretty
rlm@0: short now that I think about it, and were mainly special because he
rlm@0: wrote them. Anyhow, when I do see one of your letters I know it right
rlm@0: away. The envelopes are very distinctive, with a heavy paper and
rlm@0: creamy color. When I see one, my heart dances with joy, because I
rlm@0: know that your precious thoughts and feelings are sealed inside.
rlm@0: Sometimes I am so excited I read it there in the hallway, or outside
rlm@0: by the little black mailbox. But sometimes it is like Christmas Eve,
rlm@0: when it is more exciting to wait and unwrap the beautiful presents at
rlm@0: just the right time. So, sometimes I wait for a special moment when I
rlm@0: am alone and can read in silence. I read the last letter you wrote at
rlm@0: midnight, in the garden, by moonlight. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: When I open the envelope I feel all excited, and sometimes have to
rlm@0: calm down before reading. Tomoyo-chan, your letters have a wonderful
rlm@0: scent, like lilacs. I am not sure if you use scented stationary, or
rlm@0: if it is just you. Sometimes if I close my eyes it is like having you
rlm@0: with me again, so close. Then I start to read. Your calligraphy is
rlm@0: exquisite. Your scriot always amazed me when we were going to school.
rlm@0: I was just happy to get the strokes right, but your writing flowed
rlm@0: like a shimmering river. But what you write to me is even lovelier
rlm@0: than the beautiful characters. When I am sad, you cheer me up, and
rlm@0: when I am confused about something, you help me understand. You know
rlm@0: and understand so much. All of my life you have been there to help me
rlm@0: along. When I thought about this, I realized your letters are just
rlm@0: like you. They are beautiful, and kind, and brimming with love.
rlm@0: Gomenesai, Tomoyo-chan. For all the years we were together, I don't
rlm@0: think I quite understood. About you, I mean. Because you were always
rlm@0: with me, and were so close, I don't think I understood how important
rlm@0: you are to me. Lately there is an odd, empty feeling I have, as if
rlm@0: something is missing from my body. Something I long for, something to
rlm@0: fill and complete me. I never felt this way before. Even all the
rlm@0: times Syaoran was gone, I missed him, but not like this. When I read
rlm@0: your letters, for a few golden moments I feel whole again. When you
rlm@0: were here for your visit, I was happier than I have been since
rlm@0: leaving home. Because you were with me. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Your letters are like little whispers from far away. When they come,
rlm@0: I listen with all my heart. They mean so very much to me. I keep them
rlm@0: in a little folder close to the bed, although your last letter is
rlm@0: under my pillow when I sleep. Sometimes I take them to school, and re-
rlm@0: read them during the day. Once my sensei-friend, Jun-sama, found me
rlm@0: reading them during lunch. She says she called my name several times
rlm@0: before I noticed her standing there. I bowed and apologized for my
rlm@0: rudeness, but she laughed and said it was charming that a married
rlm@0: woman was still receiving love letters. That made me blush terribly,
rlm@0: and she laughed even more when she found out the letter was from you.
rlm@0: We talked after that, and I told her how much I miss you. She said
rlm@0: that you probably miss me just as much, which was amazing because
rlm@0: I've never thought of it like that. She said friends and lovers are
rlm@0: both sad when they are separated. The difference is that friends can
rlm@0: gradually become used to distance, but that the hearts of lovers
rlm@0: always suffer when they are apart. I told her this seemed odd,
rlm@0: because it was the opposite with me. When Syaoran-chan was gone all
rlm@0: those years, I eventually got used to things. But I told her that
rlm@0: with you, my friend, it has gotten worse everyday. She looked sort of
rlm@0: sad and sighed when I said this. I told her it must have been very
rlm@0: difficult for her, losing her love the way she did. Jun-sama said her
rlm@0: heart has never healed, and never will. Tomoyo-chan, I felt so sad
rlm@0: for her because her love is gone from the world. I started to cry.
rlm@0: She hugged me, like a mother would to reassure a child. But she
rlm@0: didn't tell me everything would be all right, because she was crying,
rlm@0: too. And it won't ever be all right for her, because her love is dead.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Gomenesai, I'm crying again. I'm crying a lot lately, and I'm not
rlm@0: sure why. I feel awful for Jun-sama, and your Mother, and my Father.
rlm@0: Their hearts must be so lonely all the time. I feel like this because
rlm@0: you are gone, and we are best friends. How can they live when their
rlm@0: true love has left them forever? And I know I will see you again, and
rlm@0: soon I hope. But they will never be with the one they love. That's
rlm@0: why it makes me so sad when you wrote that you will never see your
rlm@0: special someone again. I am so very sorry I never knew how much pain
rlm@0: not being with your true love has brought you. Gomenesai, until that
rlm@0: night in the garden, I never knew. In my heart it feels like this is
rlm@0: all my fault. Maybe if I had understood, I could have helped. Why
rlm@0: didn’t I know when we were so close? I was so caught up in the Cards,
rlm@0: and Li-kun, and so many trivial things while my best friend needed
rlm@0: me. How could I have been so stupid?  I was your best friend, and I
rlm@0: failed you.Gomenesai.Gomenesai, Tomoyo-chan.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: It's morning now and I'm writing this on the bus to work. I couldn’t
rlm@0: write anymore last night. I was still sad when I woke up, but now
rlm@0: know what to do now. I can never make up for all the pain in your
rlm@0: heart. I am more sorry than I can say, yet all the apologies that can
rlm@0: be made won't fix things. But I will. I swear it. I am certain that
rlm@0: anyone would be blessed and honored by your love. I know I would!
rlm@0: Even if they are married, or with someone else, there has to be room
rlm@0: in their heart for your love. There has to be. It's just too horrible
rlm@0: if they don't know about you.  If they never know of your love, it is
rlm@0: almost as if they were dead. Please don’t worry, Tomoyo-chan, because
rlm@0: everything will be all right. I cannot live and be happy if you are
rlm@0: sad.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Now, as for the rest of your wonderful letter. Thank you so much for
rlm@0: the beautiful photographs! Your Mother is right. You would make a
rlm@0: delightful model. I am looking at one of the pictures now, the one
rlm@0: where you are in the blue sundress, with your hand holding onto your
rlm@0: hat. It reminds me of our trip to the beach. I get very hanyaan when
rlm@0: I see you in this picture. It was so incredible to swim with you, to
rlm@0: hold you close in the warm water. Aiyaaa! Tomoyo-chan, sometimes I am
rlm@0: surprised at how I feel about you. It's funny, because we are both
rlm@0: girls and all, but when we kissed I was in another world, another
rlm@0: place that I wanted to be in forever. Just remembering the garden
rlm@0: makes me dizzy and faint and filled with joy. Oniichan said once that
rlm@0: a kiss is how two souls meet. He doesn't usually say such nice
rlm@0: things, but I think it is true. I never felt so close to you as that
rlm@0: night. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: I hope no one sees me blushing like this on the bus. Thinking about
rlm@0: people seeing me blush is making it worse. But anyway, thank you
rlm@0: again for the pictures. Oh, and Fanren says thank you, too. She was
rlm@0: very excited to get the photographs. She really likes you. I also
rlm@0: love my Tomoyo-chan cooking video. I was going to make the recipe
rlm@0: yesterday afternoon, but I couldn't stop watching you. Tomoyo-chan is
rlm@0: like a pretty ballerina in the kitchen, so cute and fun to watch. I
rlm@0: will try and concentrate on the recipe this weekend. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Thank you for talking about Syoaran-chanand me. It really helps so
rlm@0: much. You are so perceptive, and it is always wonderful to be able to
rlm@0: talk about things. I have never been very good about understanding
rlm@0: people. So often they say one thing, and mean something else. So,
rlm@0: hearts are very mysterious to me. I thought I knew all about Syaoran-
rlm@0: chan, but I didn't. Oniichan says that you only begin to know someone
rlm@0: when you are living together. Sugoi, another thing Oniichan said that
rlm@0: isn't stupid! Anyway, I wonder sometimes if Syaoran is the same
rlm@0: person I married. When I told him this he just got more angry, and
rlm@0: said I was imagining things. But maybe it is true. He says things to
rlm@0: me now that he never did before. And he seems distant, somehow. I
rlm@0: know he loves me, and I still love him with all my heart, of course.
rlm@0: Well. Anyway, please do not think that you are the reason for certain
rlm@0: things between Syaoran and me lately. Tomoyo-chan, we don't see each
rlm@0: other a lot anyway, because he is so busy. Our being together cannot
rlm@0: have bothered him all that much. I really don't think our being
rlm@0: together was what upset him. I guess he has a lot on his mind with
rlm@0: work and all. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: I do feel bad about Meiling-chan. I don't think she wants to see me,
rlm@0: or I would have talked to her before. Not long ago I asked Fanren-san
rlm@0: about it, and she said that Meiling-chan has always been quick to
rlm@0: anger and slow to forget. She said that Syaoran-chan and Meiling-chan
rlm@0: had been matched at birth as a most propitious couple by her
rlm@0: grandfather, who was a revered Master of the Chinese magic concerned
rlm@0: with beginnings and endings. I thought I should apologize to him, so
rlm@0: I visited his grave at the family cemetery. The cemeteries in Hong
rlm@0: Kong are even more crowded than those in Tokyo. Most of the graves
rlm@0: are very small, but his was large and quite elaborate, which is no
rlm@0: doubt a mark of great respect. I left flowers, and said prayers of
rlm@0: apology. But I did not feel good afterwards, and came down with quite
rlm@0: a cold. When Ieran-sama found out how I came to be sick, she said
rlm@0: this was what happens to those who meddle with angry ghosts. I was so
rlm@0: scared by what she said that it was hard to sleep that night. Do you
rlm@0: think I should try and talk to Meiling-chan? 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Tomoyo-chan, I miss you so much. I wish I had back all the time we
rlm@0: were together, to live again knowing what I know now. I wonder if
rlm@0: things would different? I pray we can be together soon. It’s so hard
rlm@0: not to be with you.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Love,
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Kinomoto Sakura
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: PS Please give my best wishes to your Mother. I have been thinking a
rlm@0: lot about her lately.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:   
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Dear Sakura-chan,
rlm@0: 	I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you are curled up with
rlm@0: your husband, happy and loved, content with the wonders that life has
rlm@0: bestowed upon you. My one wish for you is that you will spend the
rlm@0: rest of your days in endless joy. That your laugh will echo through
rlm@0: the Li home, that your smile will light up the lives of everyone who
rlm@0: is blessed with your presence. That you and your husband can forever
rlm@0: travel the moonlit seas of eternity. If I know that you are happy, it
rlm@0: will always bring a smile to my face. What would make me happiest
rlm@0: would be to know that my darling Sakura-chan is shining brightly. If
rlm@0: you could grant me a single wish, Sakura-chan, that is what I would
rlm@0: like the most. You don't need to find my True Love or even grant me
rlm@0: the boundless thrill of your presence. All I want is to know that you
rlm@0: will always be happy, that you will face this life with a beautiful
rlm@0: smile. If I know that, then I can smile as well. I'll forever watch
rlm@0: over your beautiful emerald eyes and you pretty smiling lips. And
rlm@0: that will be my greatest joy. I'm sure you will have a gorgeous life,
rlm@0: Sakura-chan. Your story isn't over yet. I want Sakura-chan to have
rlm@0: the happiest ending. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura-chan, thank you so much for being my best friend for all of
rlm@0: these years. You befriended me when no one else would, showing me
rlm@0: from the start how kind and sweet you are. I will always love you for
rlm@0: that. You were always so cute and genki. Being around you always made
rlm@0: my days a little taste of the heavens. I will forever treasure the
rlm@0: beautiful gift of friendship that you have given me. You will never
rlm@0: know how much it meant to me. Having a best friend like you was
rlm@0: almost too much to bear at times. It was like a lovely dream that I
rlm@0: never wanted to wake up from. Just like the eraser you gave me my
rlm@0: first day of school, I'll keep your friendship in a little locked
rlm@0: box, this one deep inside my heart. It was the most precious gift
rlm@0: anyone has ever given me. 
rlm@0: 	You were an amazing girl and you've grown up to be an even more
rlm@0: amazing woman. All of the videotape in the world couldn't catch every
rlm@0: bit of you. I can only settle for the slivers that I've managed to
rlm@0: capture on tape, beautiful moments suspended forever. Time has been
rlm@0: very generous to you, Sakura-chan. I'm glad that I've been able to
rlm@0: see its affect. But time also leaves many endings in it's wake. It's
rlm@0: not something to fear, though. With endings come new beginnings.
rlm@0: Those whose stories have ended can watch those whose stories are just
rlm@0: beginning. In time, I'm sure that you will have a beautiful child. I
rlm@0: can already see her. Very cute, and very energetic, just like her
rlm@0: mother. I know you'll make an excellent mother. You have so much love
rlm@0: in your heart. I know she will never be left wanting.
rlm@0: 	Sakura-chan, I'm very sorry, but I'll be going away soon. I don't
rlm@0: know where yet. I just think that there are things I should do with
rlm@0: my life now. I'll be leaving Tomoeda shortly, though I haven't
rlm@0: decided on a destination. Mother doesn't want me to leave, but I
rlm@0: think she understands that it's for the best. I want her to be happy,
rlm@0: too, but like you said about Jun-san, I'm not sure if she ever can be
rlm@0: without Nadeshiko-san. That has always broken my heart because I know
rlm@0: mother sees some of Nadeshiko-san in me and it must be painful for
rlm@0: her. She has been hurt quite a bit, but she has always moved forward.
rlm@0: She is a very strong woman. She really did think you were a wonderful
rlm@0: girl, Sakura-chan. She still does, I know it. 
rlm@0: 	I'm sorry. I spilled some droplets of water on the paper again. I
rlm@0: must be getting clumsy these days. Sakura-chan, it's so hard to say
rlm@0: goodbye. I never understood how difficult it would be. Even when you
rlm@0: left for Hong Kong in the first place it wasn't this bad. I think
rlm@0: it's because I knew that you would still be there, in some small way.
rlm@0: That tiny hope flickered in my heart, shining in the darkest of
rlm@0: nights. But now, I don't have that lighting my path. But that's all
rlm@0: right. Because I'll always be with you. My heart will always look
rlm@0: back to yours. Thank you so much for being the best friend I could
rlm@0: ever have dreamed for. Thank you for letting me dress you up in
rlm@0: costumes and for letting me videotape you and for just letting me
rlm@0: stay by your side. Thank you for the beautiful memories you have
rlm@0: granted me. And thank you for the warmth in my heart that I would
rlm@0: never have found if I hadn't met you. Please remember that even if
rlm@0: I'm far away, even if you don't hear from me, I will always be right
rlm@0: by your side. You will never be far from my thoughts or my heart.
rlm@0: Goodbye, Sakura-chan. Please smile for me.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Your friend for all time,
rlm@0: Daidouji Tomoyo