rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: All I want for Christmas is You
rlm@0: by Amazoness Duo
rlm@0: amazonessduo@hotmail.com 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	Her name was Sakura Kinomoto. Sweet, lovable, and very energetic,
rlm@0: Christmas was one of her favorite times of the year. Her emerald
rlm@0: green eyes sparkled as all sorts of Christmas decorations caught her
rlm@0: their notice. “Sugoi! Tomoyo-chan, look!” The Twin Bells shop was
rlm@0: putting up a cute little Christmas tree right outside, decorated
rlm@0: festively with all sorts of beautiful decorations, lights flashing on
rlm@0: and off in spectacular patterns. Sakura giggled happily. She had gone
rlm@0: out shopping with her best friend to get a few last minute Christmas
rlm@0: gifts. 
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo smiled cheerfully as she watched her genki best friend. Her
rlm@0: hand was on her ever trusty camcorder, capturing every second of
rlm@0: enthusiastic Sakura on videotape. Sakura was trussed up in an outfit
rlm@0: Santa Claus would have envied. Tomoyo had finished it just that
rlm@0: morning and was eager to see the Cardmistress in it. Despite her
rlm@0: initial embarrassment, Sakura didn’t even seem to notice the garment
rlm@0: was there anymore, walking around with her usual flourish. The little
rlm@0: white ball at the end of the red cap on her head bobbed back and
rlm@0: forth as she walked. Her feet were covered with little red shoes,
rlm@0: also with little white balls. Long white stockings kept Sakura’s legs
rlm@0: warm. Those ran up into a small red skirt that was trimmed with
rlm@0: white. Her red coat was held closed against the cold with green lace.
rlm@0: In both gloved hands, Sakura held shopping bags filled with her
rlm@0: latest gifts. Tomoyo sighed to herself. “The tree looks very nice,
rlm@0: Sakura-chan, but it’s not nearly as cute or as festive as you are.”
rlm@0: 	Sakura blushed at the remark, sweatdropping at Tomoyo’s usual
rlm@0: bluntness about such things. She didn’t think she’d ever understand
rlm@0: why she said those kinds of things, but she had come to accept it.
rlm@0: She should see it coming by now, she told herself, but she always got
rlm@0: caught by surprise. Tomoyo was dressed all in green, with a beautiful
rlm@0: green bow in her hair. She said that she was dressed as ‘Sakura-
rlm@0: chan’s helper’. It looked pretty on her regardless, Tomoyo’s snow
rlm@0: white skin almost seeming to be an addition to the costume. Sakura
rlm@0: went back to looking at the tree, her fingers brushing through some
rlm@0: of the tinsel. “It’s so pretty! I hope Onii-chan and dad get the
rlm@0: Christmas tree up before I get back. I hope it’s big with lots of
rlm@0: lights and decorations.” She balled her fists up in anticipation,
rlm@0: already seeing the tree in her mind. 
rlm@0: 	Giggling softly, Tomoyo led Sakura inside the shop, walking
rlm@0: carefully backwards so that she could get Sakura’s entrance. “Sakura-
rlm@0: chan enters the store, ready for more holiday gift giving. Like a
rlm@0: kawaii Santa Claus, she comes bearing gifts.” She barely noticed the
rlm@0: running commentary she was providing, lost up in the sheer perfection
rlm@0: that was Sakura. The holiday season could be one of the most
rlm@0: depressing times of the year, but right now that hardly seemed to
rlm@0: matter. It was as if she was too busy partaking of Sakura to allow
rlm@0: any other thoughts into her head. 
rlm@0: 	Blushing again, Sakura went back to the task at hand, glancing
rlm@0: around the store for anything someone might like. “Let’s see... I
rlm@0: already have Onii-chan’s present. He’s getting that sweater. And I
rlm@0: got Yukito-san that basket of food you pointed out. Naoko-chan got
rlm@0: the book of scary stories.” Sakura paused for a moment to shudder.
rlm@0: That book sure had a spooky ghost on the cover of it. And Sakura
rlm@0: hated ghosts. Especially after Touya spent his youth telling her
rlm@0: scary stories about them. “And Chiharu-chan has those ribbons for her
rlm@0: hair. Rika-chan got that cute broach. Father has the scarf I made.”
rlm@0: Biting her lip, her mind went through the possibilities. What else
rlm@0: did she need for Christmas? Her eyes caught on something near the
rlm@0: back of the shop, drawing her towards it. “Kawaii!” It was a cute
rlm@0: angel doll, it’s wings folded beautifully behind it, it’s white silk
rlm@0: shining in the store light. It held a small candle in its hands, its
rlm@0: eyes closed as if in prayer. Her mind raced. Yes, she knew exactly
rlm@0: what she would get it for. A giggle escaped her lips as she picked it
rlm@0: up. “Wai! I have just enough for it. And it’s the last thing I need.
rlm@0: I’m going to get it for Syaoran-kun.” 
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo’s sweet voice reached out to Sakura from behind Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: camcorder. Her smile was genuine, but Tomoyo couldn’t tell if she was
rlm@0: hiding behind the camcorder or not, using it to distance herself from
rlm@0: the situation. She wasn’t part of this. She was an observer. So there
rlm@0: was no reason to be sad about Sakura picking out a nice gift for the
rlm@0: boy she would one day marry. When she spoke, it was with all honesty.
rlm@0: “I’m sure that Li-kun will be thrilled to get such a lovely present
rlm@0: from Sakura-chan. Though being with Sakura-chan would be present
rlm@0: enough for anyone.”
rlm@0: 	Smiling brightly, Sakura headed to the counter to make her
rlm@0: purchase. “Tomoyo-chan, arigato! I really hope so. It’s the last of
rlm@0: my money. I want it to be something special.” 
rlm@0: 	“It is special. An angel from an angel.” Tomoyo sighed happily, a
rlm@0: light blush on her cheeks as she continued recording Sakura. The
rlm@0: brunette sweatdropped again, waving off the idea, but Tomoyo just
rlm@0: went around to get another angle of her angel.
rlm@0: 	“I’m not an angel, Tomoyo-chan. I just want to make this a good
rlm@0: Christmas for everyone,” the Cardmistress explained, accepting the
rlm@0: bag with the angel inside from the shop owner before turning back to
rlm@0: her eccentric best friend. She was happy to have found it. It was
rlm@0: absolutely perfect. She couldn’t wait to wrap it up. Yes, this
rlm@0: Christmas would be perfect indeed.
rlm@0: 	“You’re an angel to me, Sakura-chan. Floating down gingerly from
rlm@0: the sky, filling up the lives of all you meet with love, capturing
rlm@0: their hearts with your beauty and cute personality, making everyday
rlm@0: feel special. Sakura-chan’s my Christmas angel.” Another smile
rlm@0: crossed her lips as she continued filming, following the embarrassed
rlm@0: Sakura out of the store. Everyone knew, most of all Tomoyo, that an
rlm@0: embarrassed Sakura was a very cute Sakura. 
rlm@0: 	“Thank you very much, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura got out, smiling despite
rlm@0: her blush. She knew that Tomoyo was a very wise person and took what
rlm@0: she said to heart. Tomoyo always seemed to be looking out for her and
rlm@0: she appreciated that. Even if some of what she said was strange,
rlm@0: Sakura knew that the dark haired girl meant it. That was part of why
rlm@0: it was so embarrassing to hear, actually. Because she knew that
rlm@0: Tomoyo was always being honest about it. She was always very happy to
rlm@0: hear it regardless. It made her feel warm inside, like when you would
rlm@0: sit right in front of a fire or it would wash over you or when you
rlm@0: had a nice cup of hot chocolate that swirled and heated you up
rlm@0: inside. It was much the same being with Tomoyo. 
rlm@0: 	When they had finally reached Sakura’s house, they found that
rlm@0: everyone else seemed to be out for the moment. Sakura grinned as she
rlm@0: lugged in her bags. That meant no big brothers to get in the way of
rlm@0: her Christmas wrapping. A nearly forgotten thought struck her
rlm@0: suddenly and she turned back to Tomoyo. “Oh, wait right there, Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan! I need to go get your Christmas present.” She motioned towards
rlm@0: the living room and began for the stairs. She was happy to note that
rlm@0: the Christmas tree was up and that it was beautiful. Underneath, she
rlm@0: could see some of the presents already. Spotting Tomoyo’s present to
rlm@0: her that Tomoyo had given her before they had left this morning,
rlm@0: Sakura grinned and rushed up the stairs. She couldn’t wait to give
rlm@0: Tomoyo her present. 
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo waited patiently, sitting in front of the large Christmas
rlm@0: tree. She knew her mother had already purchased the largest Christmas
rlm@0: tree imaginable. They had spent the night before decorating it. She
rlm@0: had been happy to spend the time with her mother, worrying about
rlm@0: nothing other than a large tree. They had stayed up long after the
rlm@0: tree was finished, Tomoyo’s head on her mother’s lap. Her mother
rlm@0: would gently play with her hair while they both stared at the glow
rlm@0: from the Christmas tree, all the other lights in the house off. They
rlm@0: had talked late into the night, her mother telling her all sorts of
rlm@0: stories, most having to do with her sweet cousin, Nadeshiko. She had
rlm@0: finally fallen asleep, curled up and with her head still on her
rlm@0: mother’s lap. Looking at the Christmas tree brought back all of those
rlm@0: memories, diffused with other thoughts of Sakura and her family
rlm@0: around it, enjoying the holiday together. Still deep in thought,
rlm@0: Tomoyo pulled up her cell phone to call her bodyguards to pick her
rlm@0: up. Her mother was a very protective woman and wanted to make sure
rlm@0: that she was safe. Tomoyo didn’t really mind and the bodyguards were
rlm@0: all very nice, even if they all hid that under a mask of
rlm@0: professionalism. 
rlm@0: 	Finally finished and with some tape still stuck to her now
rlm@0: gloveless hands, Sakura hurried down the stairs. She found Tomoyo on
rlm@0: her knees in front of the Christmas tree, the lights shining onto her
rlm@0: pale skin making it look like she was changing color herself in front
rlm@0: of Sakura. Sakura shook her head and approached the dark haired girl.
rlm@0: “Here it is. I had to wrap it really quickly, so I’m sorry if it’s a
rlm@0: little messy.” She hung her head apologetically as she held it out as
rlm@0: an offering to her best friend. 
rlm@0: 	“I’d rather have Sakura-chan wrap it than any store,” Tomoyo said
rlm@0: happily as she stood up, taking the slightly rushed package. The
rlm@0: paper was crinkled and the tape was all over the wrapping paper,
rlm@0: which was a cream color with cute teddy bears holding hearts all over
rlm@0: it. Tomoyo hugged it to her chest, thrilled to receive a gift from
rlm@0: the girl she loved. 
rlm@0: 	“Are you still having that Christmas party tonight, Tomoyo-chan?”
rlm@0: Sakura asked curiously, brushing some stray locks of hair from her
rlm@0: eyes.
rlm@0: 	Watching Sakura carefully, Tomoyo nodded. Something was bothering
rlm@0: the brunette, she could tell. “Yes, it’s still tonight. I’ve already
rlm@0: passed out all the invitations at school. I’m going to make a cake
rlm@0: for it myself after I get home. Mother has to be at some business
rlm@0: party, but she promised that we’ll spend all of Christmas day
rlm@0: together. The house is decorated very prettily. I can’t wait for you
rlm@0: to see it, Sakura-chan. Sense mother owns a toy company, she made
rlm@0: sure that the house was perfect for Christmas.” Tomoyo’s smile came
rlm@0: easily, though a warning at the back of her mind made her cautious. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura’s shoulder’s slumped visibly. There was obvious
rlm@0: disappointment in her voice. “Gomen nasai, Tomoyo-chan. I don’t think
rlm@0: I can come to your party. My family was all going out to dinner
rlm@0: tonight.” She had completely forgot that the two events would be
rlm@0: happening at the same time. To her surprise, Tomoyo’s smile never
rlm@0: faded, though her eyes closed.
rlm@0: 	“That’s all right, Sakura-chan. Family is more important than a
rlm@0: Christmas party. Please have fun at dinner. I promise I’ll save some
rlm@0: of the cake for you and Kero-chan.” Tomoyo was the mask of
rlm@0: unconcerned sweetness to her friend, but inside she was heartbroken.
rlm@0: What was a Christmas party without Sakura? The biggest thrill would
rlm@0: be to see her best friend there, to enjoy Christmas Eve with her. And
rlm@0: if her mother was already gone, what was she to do? They were the two
rlm@0: most important people to her, yet she would be spending Christmas Eve
rlm@0: without them. But she still had a party that she was responsible for.
rlm@0: An idea struck her and the heartache dulled slightly, though it
rlm@0: refused to disappear. Images of Sakura in her cute Christmas outfit
rlm@0: and gift giving and Christmas carols with her lingered in her mind
rlm@0: like the events from something that now would not be. “I’ll videotape
rlm@0: the party for you so you won’t have to miss it. I’ll give it to you
rlm@0: as soon as I can.”
rlm@0: 	“Great idea, Tomoyo-chan! I can’t wait to see it. I’ll be able to
rlm@0: pretend that I actually went.” Sakura smiled at the idea, still
rlm@0: unaware of the heartache behind her friend’s smile. It seemed like a
rlm@0: wonderful idea. What better way to handle both events? A car out
rlm@0: front pulled her from her thoughts.
rlm@0: 	“It must be my bodyguards. I have to go home now and get ready for
rlm@0: the party. Sakura-chan, thank you so much for the present. Whatever
rlm@0: it is, I will cherish it always,” Tomoyo said sweetly. ‘Just like
rlm@0: I’ll always cherish you,’ she added to herself. 
rlm@0: 	The two friends walked towards the door, Sakura following a little
rlm@0: behind Tomoyo. “I hope the party goes well, Tomoyo-chan. I bet it’ll
rlm@0: be lots of fun.” Sakura grinned as they reached the door. “You’ll
rlm@0: have to tell me how it all went later.”
rlm@0: 	Smiling back, Tomoyo wasn’t so sure herself, but she hid her
rlm@0: concern. After all, it wouldn’t be the same without Sakura. But she
rlm@0: could still record it for her and try to make it a nice party for
rlm@0: everyone. It should be a nice way to spend Christmas Eve. The special
rlm@0: cake she was planning to make wouldn’t be for Sakura, but she could
rlm@0: still keep her in her thoughts while she baked it and got everything
rlm@0: ready. Yes, even if Sakura and her mother couldn’t be there, she
rlm@0: could throw a nice Christmas party for her friends and record it for
rlm@0: the two absent women. “I will, Sakura-chan. I’ll wrap up the video
rlm@0: and bring it by tomorrow afternoon when most of the Christmas
rlm@0: festivities are out of the way. And you’ll have to tell me how your
rlm@0: Christmas goes. I’m sure it will be lovely.” 
rlm@0: 	“Tomoyo-chan, arigato,” Sakura said happily as she stood in the
rlm@0: doorway. She was very excited about the coming Christmas. She had
rlm@0: presents to wrap and she had to get changed before dinner. Not that
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s costume for her wasn’t cute, but it would look a little
rlm@0: strange at a restaurant. The brunette was nearly giddy with
rlm@0: excitement. Christmas Eve was always a time of great anticipation for
rlm@0: her. 
rlm@0: 	Pausing for just a moment as she considered it, Tomoyo leaned
rlm@0: forward and planted a small, delicate kiss on Sakura’s pink lips. Her
rlm@0: own petal soft lips remained there for a brief second, thrilling in
rlm@0: the delightful feel of the sweet kiss. It was over in an instant, but
rlm@0: it felt like it had lasted much longer. The dark haired girl smiled
rlm@0: brightly, her eyes closing as she tilted her head to the side.
rlm@0: “Sakura-chan looks cute under the mistletoe,” she stated simply
rlm@0: before turning towards the waiting limousine. Her bodyguards watched
rlm@0: impassively as she walked back towards the vehicle. She was nearly
rlm@0: glowing as she walked, entranced by the wonderfully soft kiss she had
rlm@0: managed to give Sakura. She licked her lips while her back was still
rlm@0: to the brunette, savoring the flavor of Sakura’s strawberry flavored
rlm@0: lip balm. Her smile grew as she reached the door that one of the
rlm@0: bodyguards was holding open. She loved the holidays. “Merry
rlm@0: Christmas, Sakura-chan!”
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	Sakura was still in the doorway sometime later, her cheeks a bright
rlm@0: scarlet and her hands held tightly against her chest. Tomoyo had been
rlm@0: gone for several minutes already. But the kiss from the other girl
rlm@0: still lingered in her mind like a lazy butterfly moving slowly
rlm@0: through a meadow. Looking straight up, she saw the mistletoe hanging
rlm@0: above the threshold. Her brother had placed it up the week before.
rlm@0: She frowned, balling her fists as she got ready to blame her brother
rlm@0: as he often did. But for what? She really didn’t feel like it anyway.
rlm@0: She just felt... strange. It had been awkward, getting kissed by
rlm@0: Tomoyo under the mistletoe. But she found the idea returning again
rlm@0: and again in her mind like a light bulb that wouldn’t stay off. It
rlm@0: had been... pleasant. Warm. And very soft. Almost fragile. It took
rlm@0: her a moment to notice that she was breathless. A small laugh escaped
rlm@0: her, sounding tiny and distorted in the empty house. Such a silly
rlm@0: thing. No wonder people kept mistletoe around. For odd occasions like
rlm@0: that. She decided that it was a good thing, whatever it was. A nice
rlm@0: little holiday ritual. She found herself almost disappointed that
rlm@0: Christmas would be over soon and that she wouldn’t have a chance to
rlm@0: do that again. Maybe Tomoyo would kiss her again the next day when
rlm@0: she came by. Or maybe she could kiss her. Under the mistletoe. With
rlm@0: snow outside and Christmas music in the background. It almost sounded
rlm@0: romantic. Sakura tried to force away her blush.  
rlm@0: 	The thought still replaying in her mind’s eye, Sakura made her way
rlm@0: back to her room upstairs. She had to hurry up and call Syaoran
rlm@0: before her father and brother got home. She wanted to wish him a
rlm@0: merry Christmas while she still had the chance on Christmas Eve. She
rlm@0: had already sent out his present the week before and she wanted to
rlm@0: know what he thought of it. “Hanyaa...” Life was good. Even if her
rlm@0: boyfriend lived so far away, she was still lucky to have him. And she
rlm@0: had a wonderful friend to help her through everything back home. And
rlm@0: soon enough she would be off for Christmas dinner with her family. 
rlm@0: 	A low, desolate howl carried to Sakura over the wind. It was both
rlm@0: intensely close and extremely distant at the same time. But the
rlm@0: desperate hopelessness to it made the brunette shiver terribly, her
rlm@0: skin prickling into goosebumps. She told herself that it must have
rlm@0: merely been the wind, that it was nothing more. But there had been
rlm@0: something remotely human in the despair she had heard. It sent a
rlm@0: chill through her that she couldn’t shake. 
rlm@0: 	Trying to ignore the eerie feeling that she was getting, Sakura
rlm@0: made her way over to the fireplace to warm herself. She was felt as
rlm@0: if she had waiting out in the snow for hours without the warm
rlm@0: protection of Tomoyo’s costume. Kneeling down in front of the fire,
rlm@0: she basked in the warm glow, its cheery heat spreading across her
rlm@0: cheeks, almost painfully at first. But despite the warmth it gave
rlm@0: off, Sakura couldn’t get warm enough. It never seemed to dispel the
rlm@0: cold that hung about her. Rubbing her hands together, Sakura knelt
rlm@0: closer. The flames flickered and faded. The howl returned, closer
rlm@0: this time, as if it were right over her shoulder. Any warmth the
rlm@0: flames had been giving off to Sakura dissipated quickly, her heart
rlm@0: pounding nervously in her chest. The cold winter outside seemed no
rlm@0: match for the frigid shroud that was gripping at her like thousands
rlm@0: of frozen hands. As the brunette stared uneasily into the flames, the
rlm@0: flames began to stare back at her, taking shape. A feminine figure
rlm@0: began to appear, long hair flickering as the flames danced lazily
rlm@0: about the fireplace. Screaming, Sakura fell backwards, kicking away
rlm@0: from the fire. Without a glance back, she ran up stairs. Her fingers
rlm@0: fumbled around her doorknob as they shook, the sound growing louder
rlm@0: and closer. She barely got the door open as the sound reached the
rlm@0: stairs, slipping in and slamming the door closed behind her.
rlm@0: Backpedaling in her frightened state, Sakura fell back on her bed,
rlm@0: staring at her door. 
rlm@0: If there was one thing that really frightened the magical girl, it
rlm@0: was ghosts. Everything else was tangible, something that she could
rlm@0: eventually overcome with support from Tomoyo or help from Syaoran or
rlm@0: Yue. Ghosts were just... They were scary. They always had been to
rlm@0: her. Touya had told her many ghost stories as a child and now she was
rlm@0: simply terrified of the very idea. She usually found herself gripping
rlm@0: onto Tomoyo when Naoko would start a scary story or when they were
rlm@0: walking through some dark shadows. But now she was all alone in her
rlm@0: room, the sound growing ever closer. Her shaking hands reached out
rlm@0: for the pink cell phone Tomoyo had given her so long ago, punching in
rlm@0: familiar numbers in a desperate attempt to reach her best friend. It
rlm@0: was all right. This was probably all in her mind. She just needed
rlm@0: Tomoyo to tell her that. She could trust her dark haired friend much
rlm@0: more than her own jumpy mind. -“Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered
rlm@0: nervously. She never finished dialing. The cell phone clattered
rlm@0: uselessly to the floor. “Hoe...” Now Sakura’s whole body had begun to
rlm@0: shake. A woman was walking through her door. At first, it appeared to
rlm@0: be gathering mist, pooling out through the closed door. But it slowly
rlm@0: began to take shape, features growing more defined in the dim light
rlm@0: of Sakura’s room. She had never hit the light switch upon entering
rlm@0: the room, but the woman before her was glowing softly in the
rlm@0: darkness. Her eyes were closed, long gray hair fluttering around her
rlm@0: as if in a breeze that Sakura could not feel. Sakura slowly felt her
rlm@0: fear melt away in this angelic woman’s presence. There was nothing
rlm@0: frightening about her, only a deep sadness that surrounded the woman.
rlm@0: It took Sakura a moment to realize she had seen this woman before.
rlm@0: Every day in pictures around the house. The last time she had seen
rlm@0: her alive was when she was only three years old. “Mama?” she asked
rlm@0: quietly, her voice wavering.
rlm@0: Nadeshiko smiled warmly at her daughter, drifting closer. She didn’t
rlm@0: seem to be moving at all as she did so, the distance dropping away
rlm@0: between them. Her jade eyes, the same green as her daughters, shone
rlm@0: brightly in the darkness like twin moons. They were gentle and
rlm@0: loving, just the way Sakura remembered her mother. Her dark hair
rlm@0: continued to flow about her in a breeze that was not there. “Sakura-
rlm@0: chan...” Her soft voice was achingly beautiful, wrapping around
rlm@0: Sakura like a time machine as years slipped away from her like grains
rlm@0: of sand. For a brief moment, she was three years old again, together
rlm@0: with her mother.
rlm@0: “Mama!” Sakura cried out, tears spilling down her cheeks as she
rlm@0: lunged forward to hug the spirit before her. Her arms encountered
rlm@0: nothing, moving through Nadeshiko as if she were never there.
rlm@0: “Mama..?” Sakura stepped back in confusion, watching her mother.
rlm@0: Nadeshiko closed her eyes sadly, her bright light fading ever so
rlm@0: slightly. It looked like an ancient pain had overtaken her, one that
rlm@0: she was all too familiar with. 
rlm@0: “Sakura-chan...” Nadeshiko whispered again. Her fingers brushed past
rlm@0: Sakura’s cheek and for a second the brunette could feel a light
rlm@0: breeze along her cheek, though the fingers were curiously absent. “My
rlm@0: baby girl. I’m always watching over you, Sakura-chan. I couldn’t
rlm@0: leave you all behind.” She smiled beautifully and for a moment,
rlm@0: Sakura was reminded of Tomoyo. They both shared a loving smile and
rlm@0: nearly the same long, dark hair. ‘And she watches over me, too,’
rlm@0: Sakura added to herself. She quickly pushed the thought away. Now
rlm@0: wasn’t the time. But if now wasn’t the time, when was? Unable to
rlm@0: answer her own question, Sakura merely shook her head, watching the
rlm@0: glowing woman. “But I can’t share in your joys or your sorrows. I
rlm@0: can’t be part of your lives anymore. I can only watch. And offer my
rlm@0: love across the distance. I can only hope that you all feel it.” The
rlm@0: pained look overtook her again and the hurt in her voice was evident. 
rlm@0: Sakura could never remember her mother looking so sad. The older
rlm@0: woman had always been happy during the short time Sakura had known
rlm@0: her, even up to her death. It seemed like nothing could hurt her.
rlm@0: Life itself seemed to thrill her and fill her with exuberance. But
rlm@0: now she hadn’t moved on, still holding herself close to the family
rlm@0: she loved so dearly. Only being able to watch them, unable to share
rlm@0: in their lives must have been painful for her. All she could do was
rlm@0: wait to be with them once more. But there seemed to be something else
rlm@0: as well. “We can..” Sakura offered, taking a step closer to her
rlm@0: mother. It had been so many years. Several crystalline tears dripped
rlm@0: unnoticed past her chin. “Sometimes I’ll feel it. It’s like you’re
rlm@0: there beside me. It feels warm and safe. And it makes me smile to
rlm@0: know that you’re watching. Because I know that you’re out there.”
rlm@0: A smile crossed Nadeshiko’s lips and the light surrounding her grew
rlm@0: in intensity. “My little girl... You’ve grown into such a beautiful
rlm@0: woman. I knew my little Sakura would do great things as she grew
rlm@0: older.” Her smile faded, as did her glow. She grew serious, her eyes
rlm@0: locking with Sakura’s. “It’s great to see you again, Sakura-chan, but
rlm@0: I can’t stay for long. I came to warn you.”
rlm@0: “Warn me?” Sakura asked worriedly. The ominous tone in her mother’s
rlm@0: voice didn’t help her state of mind. Oh, and the fact that she was
rlm@0: dead. From the stories she had heard, that usually meant she was back
rlm@0: for a very important reason. But what could that be? She had already
rlm@0: captured all of the Clow Cards and made them her own Sakura Cards.
rlm@0: She had faced Eriol and overcome the Catastrophe. What could be worse
rlm@0: than any of that that her mother would need to come warn her about?
rlm@0: Nadeshiko nodded gravely. “Sakura-chan, you’re at a very important
rlm@0: time in your life. Your decisions will affect a great deal of what is
rlm@0: to come for you. You need to make sure that they are the right
rlm@0: decisions.” A soft, wisp of a sigh escaped her lips. Her eyes fell
rlm@0: shut as her mind drifted back to some of her own decisions. “I have
rlm@0: only one regret from my life. The rest was wonderful. Having you and
rlm@0: Touya, the joys I was witness to, all of it. Even watching your lives
rlm@0: as I wait is a blessing. But there’s one thing that haunts me.
rlm@0: Everyday I see the pain that I’ve caused when I watch her. I can feel
rlm@0: her agony, but I’m helpless to ease its burden. I had no idea how
rlm@0: much I had hurt her.” Her voice choked off as tears threatened to
rlm@0: overwhelm her, but she forced forward. She hadn’t much time left. She
rlm@0: shook her head and continued. “You’re in that same position now,
rlm@0: Sakura-chan. We both overlooked the love that sustained us throughout
rlm@0: our lives. You can’t make the same mistake I made. Tasting her pain
rlm@0: is just too horrible. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”
rlm@0: Tears began to fall down her cheeks, but she paid them no attention,
rlm@0: fixing her gaze on her daughter. “During my lifetime, I didn’t allow
rlm@0: myself time to worry about much of anything. I simply enjoyed the
rlm@0: beauty that existed in life. One of the most beautiful things I was
rlm@0: witness to was the love of my cousin, Sonomi. She was my best friend,
rlm@0: my guardian, and so much more. But I never realized the extent of her
rlm@0: love. I never knew how much I had hurt her when I got married. Losing
rlm@0: her was the most painful thing in my life.” A soft, warm smile
rlm@0: crossed her lips as she drew closer to Sakura. “Much worse than my
rlm@0: death. It never really did concern me. I had lived a happy life.
rlm@0: Death was just a crossroads. It even brought Sonomi back to me, if
rlm@0: only for a short time, so I was glad for that. But now... I watch her
rlm@0: every day. I watch over her in the same way I watch over you and
rlm@0: Touya. I’ve seen the pain she’s endured. And I know that I’m the
rlm@0: cause behind it. All because I failed her. I failed to see what was
rlm@0: right in front of me for all those years. And now she lives on in
rlm@0: pain that I can only watch. And wait. One day, I will make it up for
rlm@0: her. But that could be many years from now. I have to wait until her
rlm@0: own death for us to be reunited again. Sakura-chan, you’re travelling
rlm@0: the same path I did. And I’m afraid for you, my daughter. I don’t
rlm@0: want you to have to see that pain yourself.” Her teary eyes fluttered
rlm@0: for a moment, but remained fixed on Sakura’s green orbs. Sakura could
rlm@0: only look back, unsure of what to say. “Tonight, you will be visited
rlm@0: by three spirits. Listen to them. Learn their lessons well. The rest
rlm@0: is up to you, Sakura-chan. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t
rlm@0: wait until your death to see the errors in your life. Don’t lose the
rlm@0: most beautiful thing in your life before you truly have the chance to
rlm@0: appreciate it.” She smiled softly, kissing Sakura’s forehead. Sakura
rlm@0: only felt a gentle breeze as her mother pulled away. “Remember,
rlm@0: Sakura-chan, I’ll always be watching over you. Please make sure she
rlm@0: doesn’t join me too soon. You only need one guardian angel.” Her
rlm@0: voice faded, becoming nothing more than a faint whisper. The room was
rlm@0: once again plunged into darkness.
rlm@0: Sakura sat in silence, and for a moment she wondered if her mother
rlm@0: had truly been there at all. Was it just some delusion? Had she been
rlm@0: dreaming? No, she had been there. It was her mother. She had to be.
rlm@0: Her voice still lingered in Sakura’s ears. But what had she meant?
rlm@0: What was awaiting her? Who was she hurting? Tomoyo, a voice in the
rlm@0: back of her mind supplied. But how? She would never hurt Tomoyo
rlm@0: intentionally. She was her best friend. The dark haired girl was
rlm@0: always there for Sakura. She would never dream of harming her pale
rlm@0: friend. But if she was doing it unknowingly... Sakura slumped back on
rlm@0: her bed, hugging herself tightly. “Mama...”
rlm@0: 	
rlm@0: 	Dinner came and went all too swiftly for Sakura. Her mind was too
rlm@0: focused on her mother’s words to really enjoy herself. Her brother
rlm@0: had noticed that something seemed wrong with her, but she quickly
rlm@0: explained that she was fine. He didn’t look like he believed her, but
rlm@0: he let it drop. The whole thing had been disturbing. But had it
rlm@0: really happened? She hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and
rlm@0: Christmas was only a few short hours away, so she could have just
rlm@0: dreamt the whole thing. She had nearly gotten herself to believe that
rlm@0: by the time she was back home in her room. Kero was still
rlm@0: mysteriously absent, but she figured he was probably out looking at
rlm@0: all of the pretty lights decorating the city for Christmas. Or
rlm@0: getting something to eat. He did have a pretty one track mind
rlm@0: sometimes. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura had contemplated calling Tomoyo several times, but she
rlm@0: couldn’t quite bring herself to finish dialing Tomoyo’s number. This
rlm@0: had to do with Tomoyo, didn’t it? That’s what the small voice in the
rlm@0: back of her mind had said at least. She didn’t know how to ask the
rlm@0: dark haired girl about it. ‘Besides,’ she rationalized, ‘Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan’s busy with her party. I’ll just call her tomorrow. By then that
rlm@0: dream should have stopped bothering me anyway.’ Setting down the pink
rlm@0: cell phone near her bed, Sakura tried to ignore the area where her
rlm@0: mother had been standing not so long ago. It was just a dream. It had
rlm@0: to be. 
rlm@0: 	Lying on her stomach, Sakura held onto a doll in front of her. The
rlm@0: doll looked quite a bit like Cardcaptor Sakura, even though she had
rlm@0: gotten it a while before she had ever found out about the Clow Cards.
rlm@0: Tomoyo had sewn it and given it to her a few weeks after they had
rlm@0: met. She had kept it near her bed ever since. She had plenty of
rlm@0: stuffed animals and dolls around her room, but this one was probably
rlm@0: her favorite. Maybe even more so than the teddy bear Syaoran had
rlm@0: given her. The teddy bear was sweet and she was happy to have
rlm@0: received it from him, but the little stuffed Sakura had been hers for
rlm@0: so long. It was always a comforting reminder of Tomoyo whether she
rlm@0: was doing homework or worrying about magical happenings or just lying
rlm@0: in her bed at night waiting for sleep to take her. Pulling it closer
rlm@0: to her face, Sakura could still faintly smell Tomoyo on the cute
rlm@0: little doll. Squeezing its soft fabric between her fingers, she let
rlm@0: her eyes fall closed peacefully. If she couldn’t call Tomoyo, this
rlm@0: was the second best thing. It almost felt like she was there with
rlm@0: her, soothing Sakura’s worried spirit the way she always did. She
rlm@0: felt herself drifting off, her worries dissipating in the calm that
rlm@0: slowly began to envelop the Cardmistress. Tomoyo’s gentle caress
rlm@0: seemed to spread through her soul, washing her worries away. She
rlm@0: could almost feel Tomoyo’s fingers brushing softly through her hair
rlm@0: and gave a content sigh, hugging the stuffed Sakura against her
rlm@0: chest. Her relationship with Syaoran could be a little strange at
rlm@0: times, but she could always count on Tomoyo in her life. Syaoran
rlm@0: wasn't very good at expressing his emotions so she didn’t know how he
rlm@0: felt very often. That coupled with his irrational jealousy at times
rlm@0: made things difficult. But they were made for each other, right? So
rlm@0: it didn’t matter. Sakura was almost the opposite. She couldn’t help
rlm@0: showing her emotions. It was just that she didn’t always understand
rlm@0: them. Like her feelings for Syaoran. She never would have understood
rlm@0: them if Tomoyo and everyone else hadn’t told her. Tomoyo was always
rlm@0: there for her, never too busy to help Sakura or just to spend time
rlm@0: with her. Tomoyo understood her feelings perfectly, even better than
rlm@0: Sakura herself did. The dark haired girl was the eye of the storm in
rlm@0: her life when everything else became overwhelming. She was the one
rlm@0: Sakura always turned to for comfort when she needed it. It was
rlm@0: strange how it differed from her relationship with her boyfriend. And
rlm@0: now that everything had gotten so confusing for her, it was Tomoyo
rlm@0: she had reached out for, if only in the form of the doll she had
rlm@0: given Sakura. 
rlm@0: 	Nearly asleep, Sakura began to feel the imaginary fingers brushing
rlm@0: her hair from her eyes. A sleepy part of her mind mused that the
rlm@0: fingers were longer than Tomoyo’s. But that hardly seemed to matter
rlm@0: at the moment. In her dreamy state, she could see when Tomoyo had
rlm@0: first given her the Sakura doll. Tomoyo had given it to Sakura after
rlm@0: school. She couldn’t remember if it was near Christmas or not at the
rlm@0: time, but there was a light snow in Sakura’s dream and Tomoyo was
rlm@0: wearing their school’s winter uniform. The dark haired girl smiled
rlm@0: pleasantly as she gave Sakura the gift, telling her that she was so
rlm@0: happy to have met Sakura and that she wanted to thank her for being
rlm@0: her friend. Tomoyo had been new at the time, Sakura knew that. No one
rlm@0: else seemed to want to be friends with the slightly introverted,
rlm@0: eccentric heiress. But Sakura had quickly found her to be the best
rlm@0: friend she could have hoped for. She had been thrilled with the gift,
rlm@0: though a little puzzled that it was a doll of her. Despite her
rlm@0: friend’s obvious talent the doll showcased, Tomoyo mentioned that it
rlm@0: wasn’t as cute as the real Sakura. Sakura had blushed as she often
rlm@0: did when Tomoyo would say such embarrassing things. Tomoyo looked
rlm@0: incredibly happy, her hands on her cheeks as she simply watched the
rlm@0: brunette contently. It was strange. The oddest things could bring
rlm@0: such joy to Sakura’s dark haired friend. It usually had to do with
rlm@0: when they were together, Sakura realized sleepily. The thought
rlm@0: lingered for a moment, as if it wanted to say more to Sakura before
rlm@0: it drifted off to wherever dreams disappear to upon awaking. 
rlm@0: 	The fingers in Sakura’s hair were still there as she finally began
rlm@0: to stir. Had she fallen asleep? She hadn’t been that tired, had she?
rlm@0: A wave of disorientation spun her around and around as her mind
rlm@0: slowly began to concentrate on the present again. It felt like she
rlm@0: was thinking through a heavy blanket, her thoughts muffled and
rlm@0: distant. Her whereabouts took a minute to come to her. Her room, of
rlm@0: course. Where else would she be? It slowly dawned upon her that that
rlm@0: was an awkward place to find fingers in her hair. Sometimes when she
rlm@0: would sit in the park with Tomoyo or when she would sit at her desk
rlm@0: before class started she would find the other girl’s pale fingers in
rlm@0: her hair, but Tomoyo would hardly be in her room right now, would
rlm@0: she? For a few moments, that was the perfect answer. Of course it was
rlm@0: Tomoyo. She must have come by after the party and was watching Sakura
rlm@0: sleep. The explanation sounded plausible enough, but once again she
rlm@0: was reminded that the fingers were longer, not quite as gentle as
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s. They were still soft and smooth in her hair, though the
rlm@0: overall feel was beginning to strike Sakura as different. Almost like
rlm@0: a woman stroking the hair of a cute child, unlike Tomoyo’s... Just
rlm@0: how did Tomoyo run her hands through her hair anyway? Like a best
rlm@0: friend? Sakura hadn’t seen many other best friends doing quite the
rlm@0: same thing. Tomoyo was loving and gentle about it, her fingers
rlm@0: playfully running through Sakura’s hair as they envisioned different
rlm@0: hairstyles. This thought brought an image of Tomoyo’s own beautiful
rlm@0: hair and how often she styled it differently. She found herself
rlm@0: embarrassed to be drifting so far from the topic at hand. Someone was
rlm@0: there with her. That realization finally shook the last vestiges of
rlm@0: sleep from her. 	Her eyes blinked rapidly as she sat up. Darkness
rlm@0: surrounded her in all directions, seeming to stretch off eternally.
rlm@0: Was this the Dark Card again? No, she could feel her bed underneath
rlm@0: her, her blanket twisted between her legs. After what seemed like
rlm@0: eons, Sakura’s eyes finally began adjusting to the darkness. What
rlm@0: looked to be a woman was sitting next to her on the edge of her bed,
rlm@0: long hair falling past her shoulders. Was it pink? She couldn’t tell
rlm@0: the exact shade in the darkness of her room. “Ruby Moon?!” The sound
rlm@0: of her voice scared her. She hadn’t noticed how silent it was. How
rlm@0: eerily silent. There was no snoring from Kero, no sounds of her
rlm@0: brother busily finishing some sort of work in his room, which she
rlm@0: would have counted on with it being Christmas Eve, no sound at all.
rlm@0: Her voice rang shaky and frightened in her ears. She tried to push
rlm@0: back her fears and confusion, gripping onto the stuffed Sakura in her
rlm@0: arms. ‘Everything will always be all right,’ Tomoyo’s voice whispered
rlm@0: in her mind. “What are you doing here?” she asked at last. Her voice
rlm@0: sounded less afraid now, simply curious. What reason did she have to
rlm@0: fear Ruby Moon anyway? But wasn’t she with Eriol in England now?
rlm@0: 	Ruby Moon stood up and stretched extravagantly. Her butterfly wings
rlm@0: shimmered in the darkened room. Her long gloved fingers beckoned for
rlm@0: Sakura as she ignored her question. “Come. You have much to see. And
rlm@0: I don’t have much time to show you.”
rlm@0: 	Sakura merely sat in confused silence, staring at the beautiful
rlm@0: crossdressing magical being. “What?” Sakura repeated, blinking. This
rlm@0: wasn’t registering in her sleep addled mind. Her mother’s words
rlm@0: slowly began to surface in the mist that shrouded her thoughts. Was
rlm@0: this one of the spirits she had been talking about? 
rlm@0: 	Ruby Moon sighed, her hands on her hips. “We have to get going,
rlm@0: Sakura-chan. We don’t have all night. Besides, as soon as I finish
rlm@0: this, I’m gonna go watch Touya while he sleeps. I bet he looks
rlm@0: completely darling.” A grin crossed her lips, but she quickly forced
rlm@0: it away. Business before pleasure, she reminded herself. Taking
rlm@0: Sakura’s hand, she led her to the window. The Cardmistress followed
rlm@0: docilely, still completely confused by the situation. “I’m the Ghost
rlm@0: of Christmas Past. I’m here to show you your past holidays. Much was
rlm@0: left unseen their first time through, so this is your chance to see
rlm@0: the truth behind them. Keep your eyes open, Sakura-chan,” she
rlm@0: finished cordially. Her wings spread as she placed her hand on the
rlm@0: window. Soft, white snow fell outside, blanketing the city. Ruby
rlm@0: Moon’s hand slid through the glass as if it were nothing more than
rlm@0: water. 
rlm@0: 	Amazement crept up on Sakura as she watched the pink haired woman
rlm@0: start to shift through the window. Amazement turned to shock as she
rlm@0: found herself getting pulled along through as well. She had time only
rlm@0: to get out a short yelp before she was on the other side, floating
rlm@0: above the fallen snow. Ruby Moon’s giggle fell on her ears, grabbing
rlm@0: her attention. Even though Sakura was only in her pajamas, the wind
rlm@0: and the cold moved past her as if she were being protected. “Hoe...
rlm@0: What’s going on?” Sakura asked again quietly. But she already knew.
rlm@0: They were going to see the past. With the soft smile that Ruby Moon
rlm@0: was wearing, it almost felt like a jolly idea. It was Christmas,
rlm@0: after all. Why not go and see the pretty decorations of years gone
rlm@0: by? But a chill went through Sakura, creeping through her whole body.
rlm@0: She was afraid of what she might find on the other side. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	When Sakura opened her eyes again, they were indoors. Murmuring
rlm@0: could be heard somewhere behind her, voices upon voices piled on top
rlm@0: of each other, all trying to be vaguely quiet but rising together in
rlm@0: a swell that was nearly deafening in itself. Sakura turned around,
rlm@0: trying to spot anything that would help tell her where she was. Her
rlm@0: bare feet moved against the carpet, though the carpet didn’t shift at
rlm@0: all. It was as if she weren’t there at all. Her eyes finally fell
rlm@0: upon something that rose her heart high up in her chest. “Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan!!” The dark haired girl was wearing a beautiful dress with a
rlm@0: long white ribbon in her hair. If Tomoyo was here, then she didn’t
rlm@0: have to worry. Whenever Tomoyo was with her, everything seemed more
rlm@0: bearable. She felt at ease now that she wasn’t all alone in this
rlm@0: strange place. “Tomoyo-chan!” she called again, running to the other
rlm@0: girl. It was then that Sakura noticed that she was taller than
rlm@0: Tomoyo. That wasn’t strange in and of itself, she had always been
rlm@0: slightly taller than Tomoyo, more so in recent years. But she was too
rlm@0: much taller than her best friend. Tomoyo’s gentle curves were much
rlm@0: less defined, her face more childish. “Hoe?” It took Sakura a moment
rlm@0: to understand. Tomoyo was younger than she was. Just how much, she
rlm@0: couldn’t be sure. So she was in the past. “Tomoyo-chan..?” But Tomoyo
rlm@0: couldn’t hear her. She looked nervous as she kept looking into the
rlm@0: mirror, adjusting her ribbon one way or the other. It was strange to
rlm@0: see her like that. In all the time that Sakura had known Tomoyo, she
rlm@0: couldn’t remember one instance when the dark haired girl had looked
rlm@0: nervous. Tomoyo was obviously about to go onstage to sing. But she
rlm@0: had told Sakura before that she wasn’t nervous when she was singing
rlm@0: because she got lost in the music. So what was worrying her?
rlm@0: 	“Tomoyo-chan!” Another voice called out, drawing both Sakura and
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s attention. In a fraction of a second, all of the worry
rlm@0: Sakura had seen on Tomoyo face dissolved as if it had never been
rlm@0: there at all. Tomoyo was once again her normal smiling self. Sakura
rlm@0: was a little surprised. Had she seen it at all or were her eyes only
rlm@0: playing tricks on her? Tomoyo looked completely fine now, smiling her
rlm@0: usual sweet smile. The owner of the voice turned out to be none other
rlm@0: than Sakura herself, albeit her younger self. 
rlm@0: 	“Sakura-chan, I’m glad to see you,” Tomoyo said in her gentle, warm
rlm@0: voice. She took Sakura’s hands in her own, smiling happily, no trace
rlm@0: left of whatever was plaguing her moments before. “Thank you so much
rlm@0: for coming. Did you get a good seat?”
rlm@0: 	Sakura returned the smile, shifting on the souls of her feet as
rlm@0: Tomoyo held onto her hands. She felt a gentle squeeze but that
rlm@0: nothing of it. “The seats are great. I’m right next to Rika-chan and
rlm@0: Naoko-chan.” She frowned slightly. “But Onii-chan and Yukito-san are
rlm@0: a few rows back. Onii-chan wouldn’t switch with me.” She sweatdropped.
rlm@0: 	A soft giggle came from Tomoyo. “If poor Tsukishiro-san can’t have
rlm@0: Sakura-chan’s company then I’m sure he must be very sad. He’ll have
rlm@0: to make do with Touya-san instead. I’d be happy to be sitting out
rlm@0: there with Sakura-chan if I could.” Her stormy blue eyes sparkled in
rlm@0: the backstage light, their bright intensity never leaving Sakura. 
rlm@0: 	Shaking her head swiftly, Sakura took a step closer to Tomoyo. The
rlm@0: dark haired girl began to smile even brighter at the close proximity
rlm@0: to her best friend. “No, you can’t do that, Tomoyo-chan. You need to
rlm@0: be up on stage singing. You’re the best in the choir. Everyone will
rlm@0: be so happy to hear you sing.”
rlm@0: 	“There’s only one person I want to sing for. The person I love. I
rlm@0: want everything I sing to be for them. I want every word to go
rlm@0: straight to their heart. I want them to feel my love. When I’m
rlm@0: singing, I can see them in my mind. It’s like I’m with them, like
rlm@0: we’re together. So I sing with all my heart for them. When I think of
rlm@0: them, my love bubbles up inside my heart and it feels like it’s going
rlm@0: to burst. But when I sing, I can let all of my love out, I can pour
rlm@0: it into my singing. It’s how I express my love,” Tomoyo explained, a
rlm@0: distant look in her eyes. They held Sakura’s gaze, saying so much
rlm@0: more than her words could hint at. 
rlm@0: 	“Hanyaa... Tomoyo-chan, no wonder your singing is so gorgeous! It
rlm@0: has to be if you’re singing for the one you love.” Sakura watched
rlm@0: Tomoyo with equal parts joy and admiration. “That’s wonderful. I wish
rlm@0: I could sing like you. I would sing for Yukito-san.” Her cheeks
rlm@0: flushed darkly at the thought, her eyes closing as she imagined
rlm@0: herself on stage singing to an audience consisting of only her
rlm@0: brother’s friend. Tomoyo must do the same thing, picturing only her
rlm@0: love listening happily to her beautiful music. 
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo’s smile continued on as before, still bright and cheery, but
rlm@0: she let go of her grip on Sakura’s hands, pulling her own hands up to
rlm@0: her chest. “I’m sure your singing would be very cute, Sakura-chan.
rlm@0: Tsukishiro-san would love to hear it, I’m sure. You have such a
rlm@0: pretty voice that I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t want to hear
rlm@0: you sing. Like a beautiful Siren, Sakura-chan would lure everyone
rlm@0: close by, taking a place in all of their hearts.” The older Sakura
rlm@0: could almost see hearts in Tomoyo’s eyes as the dark haired girl
rlm@0: spoke fervently to her younger self. It was cute to see her with such
rlm@0: pure enthusiasm. Sakura had seen Tomoyo act that way often when she
rlm@0: would talk about the Cardmistress or about her true love. 
rlm@0: 	The younger Sakura found herself blushing again at Tomoyo’s kind
rlm@0: words. “Arigato, Tomoyo-chan. But you have such a beautiful voice.
rlm@0: You’ll make the Christmas pageant wonderful. I can’t wait to see it.” 
rlm@0: Tomoyo tilted her head to the side, smiling at the brunette. Her
rlm@0: dark hair fell past her cheeks, contrasting starkly with her snow
rlm@0: white skin. She should be feeling nervous, a thought occurred to her.
rlm@0: But she wasn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to be. She merely felt
rlm@0: absorbed in Sakura’s presence, as she often did. It surrounded her
rlm@0: and held tightly to her heart. Her heart was trussed up with a
rlm@0: beautiful red bow, ready and waiting to be Sakura’s Christmas
rlm@0: present. “I’m going to be singing for you, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo
rlm@0: explained. Her voice was soft and loving, directed fully to her
rlm@0: friend. “I want you to be the only one I’m singing for tonight. I’ll
rlm@0: sing with my entire heart for you, Sakura-chan.”
rlm@0: Sakura’s face lit up. Oh, what a wonderful Christmas present!
rlm@0: “You’re always so good with gifts, Tomoyo-chan. They’re always so
rlm@0: special. Thank you so much!” Sakura clasped her hands in front of
rlm@0: her, anxious to hear Tomoyo sing again. Whenever Tomoyo would sing,
rlm@0: it felt like the dark haired girl was singing directly to her. Her
rlm@0: melodious, gentle voice swept her away to warm and loving
rlm@0: destinations each time. She always looked forward to listening to her
rlm@0: sing. Her friends agreed that Tomoyo had an amazing voice and was a
rlm@0: wonderful singer, but it went beyond that for Sakura. She truly loved
rlm@0: listening to her friend’s melodies. She almost found herself lost in
rlm@0: them when Tomoyo would sing, but she was never afraid because she
rlm@0: knew Tomoyo would lead her back safely. Her eyes closed slowly as she
rlm@0: imagined the songs that often played in her heart, sung always by
rlm@0: Tomoyo. She would sneak by the choir room when she could, listening
rlm@0: to her best friend’s practices, forgetting everything else in the
rlm@0: world when she would. Her voice was encompassing, rolling emotions
rlm@0: through her body, drawing out the feelings deep in her heart. It was
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s special brand of magic and Sakura always found it enchanting. 
rlm@0: 	“Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered. Sakura looked absolutely serene
rlm@0: as she stood quietly with her eyes closed. Tomoyo found her fingers
rlm@0: moving as if with a will of their own, lightly stroking Sakura’s warm
rlm@0: cheek. That wasn’t her full Christmas gift. There had been something
rlm@0: else she had wanted to give Sakura this Christmas. An explanation. A
rlm@0: sign. Her heart. Christmas was a time of giving and she wanted to
rlm@0: give Sakura her entire heart and soul. What the brunette would do
rlm@0: with them, Tomoyo did not know, but she would just be happy to let
rlm@0: her know that they were hers. She wanted to make Sakura happy with
rlm@0: every ounce of her being. Sakura was so intoxicating. Everything
rlm@0: about her only served to strengthen Tomoyo’s love for the girl. She
rlm@0: licked her lips, the soft pink rose petals suddenly dry. This would
rlm@0: be the perfect way to show Sakura what she meant with her present, to
rlm@0: show Sakura why she would be the only one Tomoyo was singing for. She
rlm@0: wanted Sakura to know what was behind the music when she was out on
rlm@0: stage. She drew nearer to Sakura, the beautiful brunette still
rlm@0: smiling with her eyes closed. Yukito was only a crush, Tomoyo knew
rlm@0: Sakura well enough to know that. Besides, she already had a good idea
rlm@0: who Yukito himself was interested in. She wanted to spare Sakura that
rlm@0: pain. She wanted to be the one who sheltered her heart and labored
rlm@0: all her days to brighten Sakura’s heart. Her lips were now inches
rlm@0: from Sakura’s. Delicate inches that felt both indescribably distant
rlm@0: and incredibly nearby. The Cardmistress’s spell had worked it’s magic
rlm@0: on her long ago, back before Sakura had ever been a magical girl. A
rlm@0: sweet, gentle kiss, one that would explain her love better than any
rlm@0: of her words ever could for her sweet yet naïve best friend. 
rlm@0: 	“So what were you going to tell me, Tomoyo-chan? You told me you
rlm@0: wanted to see me before the pageant started.” Sakura’s emerald green
rlm@0: eyes fluttered open slowly. Tomoyo was surprisingly close, but that
rlm@0: just made her smile. She felt nice when Tomoyo was near her. 
rlm@0: 	No, maybe Sakura wasn’t old enough yet after all. There would
rlm@0: always be other Christmases. One day Sakura would understand her
rlm@0: heart. But not yet. “I’ll tell you when you’re older, Sakura-chan,”
rlm@0: Tomoyo said softly, taking Sakura’s hands again. She gave them a
rlm@0: gentle squeeze and began leading Sakura after her. A smile crossed
rlm@0: her lips. Yes, her love could wait an eternity for this girl. She
rlm@0: didn’t need to tell her now. She could wait for Sakura. When Sakura
rlm@0: was ready, that’s when she would tell her. In the meantime, she might
rlm@0: as well work out her crush on Yukito. It was cute watching Sakura
rlm@0: chase after him as it was. The magical girl was always so determined,
rlm@0: her eyes burning with their own jade fire. “I’ll be singing for you,
rlm@0: Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo promised as they reached the exit. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura nodded, a little confused. “Un, if you say so, Tomoyo-chan.”
rlm@0: Confusion gave way to concern. That Syaoran boy was probably trying
rlm@0: to steal Yukito away from her again while she was busy. She returned
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s smile as she got ready to slip out the door. “I have to go
rlm@0: keep an eye on Yukito-san. Merri Kurisumasu, Tomoyo-chan! I’ll be
rlm@0: watching!” Sakura called before ducking out. 
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo stood alone with her hands held to her chest for a long
rlm@0: moment, staring at the space that Sakura had previously occupied. A
rlm@0: soft sigh escaped her lips. She slowly began to fade away in front of
rlm@0: the observing Sakura’s eyes, growing faint and dim. Sakura reached
rlm@0: out for her, her fingers finding nothing but a patch of cold air.
rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered, thought whether it ever got out of
rlm@0: her mouth, she didn’t know. Even she couldn’t hear it. Her eyes
rlm@0: stayed on the solemn figure until long after the last trace of her
rlm@0: pale best friend was gone. 
rlm@0: 	“She’s a brave little girl. You’re happiness meant the world to
rlm@0: her. So little things like that didn’t seem to matter to her. But it
rlm@0: grew more difficult as time went by. The hope of youth slowly slips
rlm@0: away from you as the harshness of reality sets in. I think she truly
rlm@0: believed that you would rescue her for quite some time,” Ruby Moon
rlm@0: said, startling Sakura as she appeared by her side. 
rlm@0: 	“She was going to kiss me...” Sakura mumbled, a hand going to her
rlm@0: lips. She could remember that night, with her eyes closed. She had
rlm@0: had no idea that Tomoyo had been so close. That the dark haired girl
rlm@0: had another piece to her present. Her mind shot back to the kiss
rlm@0: under the mistletoe not that long before. So Tomoyo had some other
rlm@0: reason behind it other than just some holiday tradition. A shiver
rlm@0: went through her as the cold emptiness once again surrounded them.
rlm@0: She longed to see Tomoyo again, to see the warmth and brightness the
rlm@0: other girl seemed to give off. Anything but this expanse of nothing. 
rlm@0: 	Ruby Moon nodded. “She was. That was back before she had given up
rlm@0: on being your special someone. There was still hope in her heart that
rlm@0: she could be the one you would love in the end. But that dwindled
rlm@0: away as time went by. She convinced herself that it wasn’t that way,
rlm@0: that you would love another. That someone else would be the one to
rlm@0: make you happy.”
rlm@0: 	Sakura shook her head quickly, trying desperately to get a grasp on
rlm@0: everything that was piling up on her. “What? But why? I mean, I
rlm@0: didn’t... Everyone had to tell me about Syaoran-kun. I had no idea
rlm@0: about my feelings before he wound up telling me. And without everyone
rlm@0: else pushing us together, I might never have known. Why would she
rlm@0: decide that we could never...” She trailed off, having trouble
rlm@0: wrapping her mind around the thoughts that followed. Her cheeks
rlm@0: blushed stubbornly. 
rlm@0: 	“If they’re your feelings to begin with,” Ruby Moon stated
rlm@0: enigmatically. She sighed, shaking her head. “Sakura-chan, she has
rlm@0: poured her love out to you for a very long time now. It stays
rlm@0: unwaveringly with you through all that you do. It’s left open and
rlm@0: obvious to the world. But you have never seen past Tomoyo to the love
rlm@0: that lies in her heart. You have ignored it, taking it for granted
rlm@0: that her love would always be there to nourish you as it was in the
rlm@0: past. Years of this have taken their toll on Tomoyo. She no longer
rlm@0: believes that you can love her because of it. So she contents herself
rlm@0: with waiting in the background and trying to help you with someone
rlm@0: she thinks you do love.”
rlm@0: 	“I do love him,” Sakura said, suddenly feeling defensive. But why?
rlm@0: It had never been an issue to her before. But what troubled Sakura
rlm@0: was that after witnessing her best friend’s love for her from another
rlm@0: point of view, actually seeing it perhaps for the first time in her
rlm@0: life, she wasn’t so sure anymore. A blindfold had been pulled from
rlm@0: her eyes, allowing her to see the pulsing love the dark haired girl
rlm@0: held for her in all its glorious colors and magnitude. This left her
rlm@0: feeling on very shaky ground. It was nothing like how she felt for
rlm@0: Syaoran. It was almost intense enough for her to smell, taste, or
rlm@0: touch. A tangible object that Sakura could feel entwining around her
rlm@0: like so many flowing ribbons. She hugged herself tightly as she tried
rlm@0: to get a grasp on the overwhelming feelings surging through her. “I
rlm@0: don’t ignore her,” Sakura whispered, less sure of herself. Tomoyo had
rlm@0: been her best friend for years now. They had shared so much together.
rlm@0: She was always the focus of Tomoyo’s life. But Sakura found herself
rlm@0: caught up in so many things, always expecting Tomoyo to be there when
rlm@0: she needed her. And the dark haired girl always was. She had insight
rlm@0: into Sakura that shone a bright light into even the darkest areas of
rlm@0: her life that Sakura herself was clueless about. Yet Sakura had
rlm@0: missed so much about her friend. She always wrote it off as just more
rlm@0: of Tomoyo’s normally eccentric behavior. It was right there in front
rlm@0: of her and she continued to miss it. She just always expected that
rlm@0: love and warmth and support that Tomoyo always selflessly offered up
rlm@0: to her to be there in her life. 
rlm@0: 	Ruby Moon offered a small, comforting smile to the Cardmistress
rlm@0: before putting a hand on your shoulder. “The past is filled with
rlm@0: beautiful memories, but life continues onward. You have to cherish
rlm@0: them as you life moves onward. Never forget their lessons or their
rlm@0: simple joys.” She paused for a moment. “We have to go, Sakura-chan.
rlm@0: There’s still much for you to see tonight.” Pity crept up on her for
rlm@0: the brunette girl, but she knew there was little she could do. 
rlm@0: Sakura followed along helplessly, trailing slightly behind as she
rlm@0: tried to get a grasp on the situation.  “Tomoyo-chan...” she
rlm@0: whispered again. Right now she desperately needed the dark haired
rlm@0: girl’s love and support. Whenever things were difficult for her,
rlm@0: Tomoyo was always there to soothe her battered spirit and warm the
rlm@0: cold inside of her. Tomoyo rarely dealt with the problem itself. No,
rlm@0: that was something for people like Syaoran to attack. Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: specialty was Sakura. Sakura was always the focus of her
rlm@0: concentration whenever Sakura needed help. And the Cardmistress found
rlm@0: herself realizing how much more important that was to her. She could
rlm@0: handle any problems when Tomoyo was there to bolster her heart and
rlm@0: soul. The world began to shift around Sakura, but she barely noticed
rlm@0: until they shown like Christmas lights all around her. In the eerie
rlm@0: lighting, she thought she saw Tomoyo standing alone before the
rlm@0: pageant once more, a phantom amongst the gathering lights. But before
rlm@0: Sakura could call out to the lonely shadow, she was gone.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura called out, her hand reaching forward. Her
rlm@0: fingers laced around a bed sheet, pulling it close. “Hoe?” Blinking
rlm@0: confusedly, the brunette found herself back in bed, her blanket
rlm@0: pulled oddly around her. Her hand clutched for her cell phone
rlm@0: instinctively. “Tomoyo-chan…” she got out as it began ringing. There
rlm@0: was a long pause as Sakura waited. What if she wasn’t there? She had
rlm@0: to speak with her. She almost hung up when she heard it connect.
rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan?!” 
rlm@0: There was a moment of silence before Sakura got her reply. “Sakura-
rlm@0: chan? Are you all right?” Tomoyo asked concernedly. “Is anything
rlm@0: wrong?” Her voice was gentle and soothing as always and Sakura could
rlm@0: feel her worries begin to melt away. Tomoyo waited patiently for an
rlm@0: answer. 
rlm@0: Sakura could picture Tomoyo sitting on her bed in her nightgown,
rlm@0: holding the phone in her soft, pale hands and felt herself relax.
rlm@0: “I’m.. I’m all right, I think. I just had a weird dream, that’s all.”
rlm@0: It had all been a dream, hadn’t it? Her mother, Ruby Moon, the past.
rlm@0: It was all just one big dream. She sighed. “It’s good to hear your
rlm@0: voice, Tomoyo-chan.” 
rlm@0: “You can always call me if you want to talk, Sakura-chan. I’m glad
rlm@0: that you’re doing all right. Please don’t let a dream worry you too
rlm@0: much. Sakura-chan should only have the prettiest, sweetest dreams of
rlm@0: all on Christmas Eve.” Tomoyo shifted on the other side of the phone.
rlm@0: It sounded like she was sitting up. “Whatever’s troubling you, I’m
rlm@0: sure it won’t affect your Christmas. Christmas won’t be the same for
rlm@0: your family if Sakura-chan isn’t bright and happy for it.”
rlm@0: 	For a second, Sakura considered asking Tomoyo about her feelings.
rlm@0: Was the dream right about them? Did Tomoyo really love her? Looking
rlm@0: back on memories of past Christmases and just about any other time
rlm@0: she had spent with the dark haired girl, Sakura could only come to a
rlm@0: resounding yes as the conclusion. But that was something she would
rlm@0: have to ask her about in person. She smiled a little, feeling better
rlm@0: now that she was talking to her best friend. “You’re right, Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan.” She giggled softly. “You’re always right. You always seem to
rlm@0: know what’s going on.”
rlm@0: 	“I don’t know everything. I just have a good idea about Sakura-chan
rlm@0: because she’s my absolute favorite subject,” Tomoyo said matter-of-
rlm@0: factly. 
rlm@0: 	“Arigato gozimasu, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura said into the phone. The
rlm@0: dreams were all just getting to her because it was almost Christmas
rlm@0: and she was stressing out way too much about everything. Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: soft voice was already making the odd tone of the dreams seem far
rlm@0: off. Something over near the door caught her attention. Kero was
rlm@0: floating there in a top hat, wearing a green and red checkered scarf
rlm@0: and mittens with little snowmen on them. “Oh, Kero-chan’s here.
rlm@0: That’s a cute outfit you made him, Tomoyo-chan.”
rlm@0: 	“Kero-chan’s wearing an outfit? I didn’t make him one. I gave him a
rlm@0: video game for Christmas. I’m sure it’s cute, though.” Tomoyo sounded
rlm@0: a bit confused, but it quickly disappeared. It was probably just
rlm@0: something he’d cobbled together himself. “And your welcome, Sakura-
rlm@0: chan. I always love hearing from you.”
rlm@0: 	Sakura smiled as she slipped her legs over the side of the bed,
rlm@0: waving at the Seal Beast. Kero waited impatiently, his arms crossed.
rlm@0: “I’ve got to go now, Tomoyo-chan. I think Kero wants something.”
rlm@0: 	“All right. Tell him I said ‘Merry Christmas’ for me, please. And
rlm@0: sleep well, Sakura-chan. Have the dreams of angels.”
rlm@0: 	Sakura froze, her hand tightly on the phone. Angels... Her mother
rlm@0: had mentioned that earlier. But it had only been a dream. Still, the
rlm@0: coincidence was enough to shake her. “I will. Thanks again, Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan! Sleep well!” Sakura hung up and set the cell phone back down.
rlm@0: Her emerald eyes went back up to Kero. “Where have you been, Kero-
rlm@0: chan?” she asked curiously. 
rlm@0: 	Striking as cool a pose as he could possibly attain in his current
rlm@0: attire, Kero whipped his scarf back over his shoulder. “I am the
rlm@0: Ghost of Christmas Presents. I am here to show you all the great
rlm@0: stuff you’re gonna get!” Kero nodded triumphantly, transcendental
rlm@0: light starting to glow behind him. Ruby Moon’s hand snaked out from
rlm@0: the light and dragged Kero back through it. Sakura stared in
rlm@0: disbelief as she heard a muffled argument through the light. After a
rlm@0: long moment, Kero popped back into sight. He cleared his throat
rlm@0: loudly and began again. “I am the Ghost of Christmas Present! The
rlm@0: here and now. Today.” He glared back at the light before continuing.
rlm@0: “And I’m here to show you Christmas, Sakura-chan!”
rlm@0: 	“What?” It took a moment for Kero’s words to register in Sakura’s
rlm@0: still clouded mind. Her head shook quickly, her eyes going wide as
rlm@0: realization struck her forcefully. “Oh, no! Kero-chan, I’ve already
rlm@0: seen Ruby Moon and my mother. It’s late. I’m tired. Can’t we do this
rlm@0: later?” Or better yet, not at all? A voice in the back of her mind
rlm@0: asked. She gave a wary smile to the oddly dressed Seal Beast. “It’s
rlm@0: almost Christmas, Kero-chan. And it’s late. And I understand. Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan likes me.” A small blush started to spread across her cheeks.
rlm@0: “What else do I need to know?”
rlm@0: 	“Plenty,” Kero said quickly. He looked at Sakura with his tiny
rlm@0: black eyes, studying her. “And I have no idea who this ‘Kero-chan’
rlm@0: is. I am the ghost of Christmas Presents.” He paused for a moment
rlm@0: before correcting himself. “Present.” 
rlm@0: 	Sakura suppressed a giggle and nodded. “All right, Kero-chan. Where
rlm@0: do we go?”
rlm@0: 	With a flourish of his scarf, Kero fluttered up to the
rlm@0: Cardmistress. “To a place you know well. Though this time you’ll be
rlm@0: seeing it in a different light. Finding out Tomoyo’s feelings isn’t
rlm@0: the only thing you’re supposed to learn, Sakura-chan. There’s much
rlm@0: more for you to discover tonight.” 
rlm@0: 	But what more could there be? Sakura couldn’t come up with
rlm@0: anything. She had missed Tomoyo’s hints and gestures of love and
rlm@0: affection over the years, but now they made sense to her. That was
rlm@0: what her mother had meant about her overlooking something, right?
rlm@0: That had to be it. So she’d have to ask Tomoyo about it later. The
rlm@0: dark haired girl seemed to be fine with the way things were, so it
rlm@0: couldn’t be bad enough to warrant all this. In fact, this just
rlm@0: managed to make everything even more confusing than it already had
rlm@0: been. Now how was she supposed to treat Tomoyo? She already had
rlm@0: Syaoran as her boyfriend. She didn’t know what to do or even what to
rlm@0: say to Tomoyo about it. She could see herself in her mind’s eye
rlm@0: smiling at the pale girl upon arriving at her house. ‘Hi, Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan! So you like me, huh? Well, we can still be friends, but I’ve
rlm@0: got Syaoran-kun. Did you want to go on a picnic?’ A small shiver went
rlm@0: through her. Just what was she supposed to say, anyway? Oddly enough,
rlm@0: she could see Tomoyo smiling her same sweet smile even after cruel
rlm@0: words like those and agreeing that a picnic would be lovely. It
rlm@0: didn’t make sense, but it was perfect Tomoyo. A lot about Tomoyo
rlm@0: didn’t make sense, but Sakura had always been happy to be her best
rlm@0: friend. At least now a little more about the dark haired girl was
rlm@0: clear. Even if it meant Sakura would eventually have to figure out
rlm@0: what to say to her about it. Or if she should. A sigh escaped her
rlm@0: lips as she took Kero’s small paw. She wanted to see Tomoyo, to tell
rlm@0: her everything. Tomoyo always managed to make her feel better. 
rlm@0: 	“We’re here,” Kero said casually as he let go of Sakura’s hand.
rlm@0: They were standing in front of the Daidouji mansion, the lawn and
rlm@0: walls decorated extravagantly with Christmas decorations. 
rlm@0: 	“Huh? Ah!” Sakura pulled a foot up, staring at the ground. Snow was
rlm@0: underneath her bare foot, but she couldn’t feel the cold. It was
rlm@0: distant, like walking through a video recording. The snow didn’t even
rlm@0: shift under her feet as if it didn’t recognize that Sakura was
rlm@0: standing there. Being set apart from the world that way sent a chill
rlm@0: down Sakura’s spine. She hadn’t even noticed that they had gone
rlm@0: anywhere until the top hatted Seal Beast had pointed it out to her.
rlm@0: The sudden transition made it difficult for her to get her bearings.
rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan’s house,” she said at last, her eyes heading towards
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s bedroom window. “Oh! She’s having her party!” A small thrill
rlm@0: counteracted the creepy feelings that had been preying on her and a
rlm@0: smile crossed her face. “So I can see her party after all!”
rlm@0: 	Kero nodded eagerly, hugging himself tightly as a look of pure joy
rlm@0: crossed his teddy bear face. “I LOVE Christmas parties! And ‘cause
rlm@0: it’s Tomoyo-chan’s, you just know there’s gonna be lots of cakes and
rlm@0: puddings and deserts and yummy stuff to eat. And games! I bet she’d
rlm@0: have plenty of games, too! Of course she would. It’s Christmas!”
rlm@0: Floating as if on a cloud of sheer ecstasy, the Ghost of Christmas
rlm@0: Present started flying circles around Sakura.
rlm@0: 	Sweatdropping, Sakura wondered how the Ghost could possibly be
rlm@0: anyone but the Seal Beast with the Osaka dialect that she had known
rlm@0: for some time. He may have denied being Kero, but he wasn’t doing a
rlm@0: very good job of disguising himself. “So where is Tomoyo-chan having
rlm@0: her party then? I don’t see any lights.” The brunette held her hands
rlm@0: near her eyes, trying to get a better look. Sure enough, the only
rlm@0: lights coming from the mansion were from the many Christmas lights
rlm@0: generously positioned around the building. 
rlm@0: 	Finally managing to get a hold of himself, though still seeing
rlm@0: visions of candy and deserts, the little bear in the top hat, began
rlm@0: to lead the way towards the house. “Christmas is a wondrous time,
rlm@0: Sakura-chan. People everywhere find themselves sharing food and gifts
rlm@0: with family and friends. Even if it’s cold outside, the warmth from
rlm@0: the hearts of those celebrating more than make up for it. Lovers kiss
rlm@0: under mistletoe. Friends exchange gifts with each other. Families
rlm@0: come together for generous meals to share. Big meals. With lots of
rlm@0: seconds. And plenty of deserts.”
rlm@0: 	“Kero-chan...” 
rlm@0: 	“Oh!” Kero shook his head, trying to get the images out of his
rlm@0: mind. He hadn’t noticed until then that he had begun salivating.
rlm@0: Dabbing at his mouth with his scarf, he continued on. “No matter who
rlm@0: you are or where you are, the most important thing about Christmas is
rlm@0: love. Sharing the holidays with the ones you love is what makes it
rlm@0: great. Giving of your heart, adding to a feast of warmth that you all
rlm@0: can share. Sure, there’s cool presents that I could be showing you
rlm@0: right now...” he glared off into the distance for a moment before
rlm@0: continuing, “but right now I have to show you the hidden parts of
rlm@0: this Christmas. Maybe when we’re done...” He nodded to himself,
rlm@0: pleased. “Well, we’ll see about that. But for right now, let’s go see
rlm@0: the party!”
rlm@0: 	Sakura nodded eagerly, following Kero’s receding form into the
rlm@0: mansion. Wouldn’t Tomoyo be surprised when she knew what happened
rlm@0: even without the videotape!
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	The house really was entirely dark. Sakura could only see by the
rlm@0: light of the Christmas lights, and with them flickering on and off in
rlm@0: intricate patterns, it certainly made things difficult. She
rlm@0: considered using the Sakura Cards to light her path, but her nervous
rlm@0: hand couldn’t find the key. Everything felt wrong. Houses generally
rlm@0: held some feelings to them. Her own house felt comfortable and
rlm@0: loving. Tomoyo’s home had a warmth and sweetness to it that she had
rlm@0: always liked. But this time was different. It was like she was
rlm@0: walking through some sort of twisted version of the mansion. She
rlm@0: couldn’t quite put her finger on what was wrong. Only that she could
rlm@0: feel it. The shadows seemed to stick out at all angles, almost moving
rlm@0: from the sporadic Christmas light patterns. Sakura swallowed
rlm@0: nervously but found her mouth had gone dry. ‘Ghosts!’ her mind kept
rlm@0: crying out when a shadow would loom near her for a moment before
rlm@0: shifting in shades of green, red, and blue. She found herself wishing
rlm@0: not for the first time that night that Tomoyo could be there. Tomoyo
rlm@0: never seemed afraid, except when she was worried about Sakura. Ghosts
rlm@0: just didn’t seem to bother her, though the brunette couldn’t figure
rlm@0: out how anybody could not be afraid of ghosts. So she would always
rlm@0: clutch onto Tomoyo when she was worried about them. And she would
rlm@0: feel better, holding onto Tomoyo, because she knew the other girl was
rlm@0: there with her. But now...
rlm@0: 	“I think it’s this way,” Kero said after a moment, completely
rlm@0: hidden in the darkness in front of Sakura. His voice didn’t sound
rlm@0: quite so sure. The place was so big! He had come with Sakura
rlm@0: occasionally, but he never got to do any exploring. He should be
rlm@0: making Sakura lead the way. After all, she knew the place better than
rlm@0: he did. But his keen Seal Beast pride got in the way as he floundered
rlm@0: about in the dark. He barely noticed Sakura’s shriek at his sudden
rlm@0: comment. 
rlm@0: 	Catching her breath, Sakura followed the jolly ghost further into
rlm@0: the darkness. Her eyes caught on the flickering lights coming from a
rlm@0: large Christmas tree standing on the far side of a room she was about
rlm@0: to pass. Forgetting about all about Kero for the moment, Sakura
rlm@0: slowly entered the room. Wouldn’t this be where Tomoyo would have her
rlm@0: party? The large room could easily fit all of her friends and was
rlm@0: very well decorated. Finding herself drawn to the sparkling Christmas
rlm@0: tree, Sakura’s fingers reached out to touch a few of the ornaments.
rlm@0: They were all very beautiful. Some looked like priceless antiques,
rlm@0: placed with ginger care upon the branches. Glimmering crystal angels,
rlm@0: sparkling icicles, glass bells, and so much more festooned the tree.
rlm@0: Placed just as gingerly but with perhaps even more love, were small,
rlm@0: worn out trinkets from years long past. Sakura could see a small
rlm@0: snowman that’s seems were starting to show. It had Tomoyo’s name on
rlm@0: the back with a date. It didn’t surprise Sakura that Tomoyo had made
rlm@0: several other ornaments on the tree as well. Some were from nearly a
rlm@0: decade before. Yet these old ornaments, some quite obviously made by
rlm@0: a child (a skilled child, but a child nonetheless), appeared to be
rlm@0: some of the most cherished objects adorning the tree. “So you get to
rlm@0: be dressed up by Tomoyo-chan, too, Mr. Tree?” she asked quietly. Some
rlm@0: other ornaments appeared to be from a time even further back, the
rlm@0: grasp of age touching on them. Family heirlooms, Sakura supposed.
rlm@0: Several appeared to come from Tomoyo’s mother’s childhood, others
rlm@0: from further back than that. She caught sight of her mother in one of
rlm@0: them, a beautiful young girl around Sakura’s age at the time the
rlm@0: picture was taken. She was lying in the snow next to a brunette woman
rlm@0: that Sakura recognized instantly. ‘Sonomi and Nadeshiko’, it read on
rlm@0: the back. The two looked so happy in the picture. Her mother’s words
rlm@0: once again whispered in her ear. Tomoyo had once told her that all of
rlm@0: her mother’s employees were female because of her preference. And
rlm@0: Sonomi always talked about Sakura’s mother so dreamily. Was that what
rlm@0: her mother had meant about what happened to her? Sonomi did seem to
rlm@0: be in a lot of pain over her death. ‘But I would never hurt Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan. I couldn’t stand to know she was in pain. So I shouldn’t have
rlm@0: to worry about it. But still...’ Her eyes couldn’t leave the picture.
rlm@0: The two best friends, happily together. One of them so in love with
rlm@0: the other. For a moment, the picture shifted and she saw herself and
rlm@0: Tomoyo in it. She backed away quickly, nearly tripping over a
rlm@0: Christmas present. 
rlm@0: Presents lay scattered underneath the tree, all done up in festive
rlm@0: wrapping paper with plenty of bows and ribbons. Sakura had to
rlm@0: suppress a laugh. She could definitely tell which were from Tomoyo to
rlm@0: her mother. Only two names alternated on them all. Sonomi and Tomoyo.
rlm@0: Her laughter was short lived when she read Sonomi’s name. No, she
rlm@0: wouldn’t hurt Tomoyo. She couldn’t. But the thought frightened her.
rlm@0: Her mother had warned her that she was making the same mistake she
rlm@0: had. But what? 
rlm@0: A sound from the other side of the room caught Sakura’s attention.
rlm@0: Her ears perked up as she peered into the shadows engulfing the rest
rlm@0: of the room starting just a few feet in front of her. She waited in
rlm@0: the darkness, holding her breath, waiting for it to happen again.
rlm@0: Lights shifted on the floor in front of her. Red, blue, green,
rlm@0: orange, violet. Blinking on and off in their continuing patterns.
rlm@0: Staring at the shapes they cast on the floor, Sakura began to wonder
rlm@0: if it had just been her imagination. A muffled sob reached Sakura’s
rlm@0: ears, quiet but unmistakable in the silent room. The voice behind the
rlm@0: pain racked cry was equally unmistakable to Sakura. That voice that
rlm@0: always soothed her soul, that carried her away to distant locales
rlm@0: when in verse, that made embarrassing comments about how cute she was
rlm@0: or how talented. 
rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura whispered into the darkness. Her body went
rlm@0: as cold as if she had just awoken in the snow. Her heart felt just as
rlm@0: numb. She walked forward slowly, her emerald eyes questing valiantly
rlm@0: for any sign of her dark haired best friend. She could by now dimly
rlm@0: make out a large couch facing the Christmas tree with some pillows or
rlm@0: a large sheet lying over it. She couldn’t quite make it all out in
rlm@0: the dim light of the Christmas tree. A long table rested near the
rlm@0: couch. A delicious looking cake was set atop it, beautifully
rlm@0: decorated for the occasion. That must have been the cake Tomoyo had
rlm@0: hurried home to make. But it hardly looked touched, not a single
rlm@0: piece removed. Cups lay nearby, along with holiday themed napkins and
rlm@0: a large pitcher of spiced cider. This had to be where Tomoyo had
rlm@0: planned to have the party! But what had happened? It didn't look like
rlm@0: anyone had been here. 
rlm@0: “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo’s weak voice got out before another sob
rlm@0: broke through. The sheet shifted on the couch, darkness cascading
rlm@0: down around the top of it. The form shuddered, crying quietly in the
rlm@0: empty room. She had mistaken the dark haired girl at first, but now
rlm@0: her eyes began to adjust. From what little she could see, Tomoyo was
rlm@0: wearing a beautiful green and rust red party dress, her dark hair
rlm@0: done up in pigtails. Her tears sparkled in the darkness, reflecting
rlm@0: the colored lights as they slid down her cheeks. Her pale skin made
rlm@0: her look eerily ghostlike in the dim light, almost an apparition of
rlm@0: her normal self. 
rlm@0: Sakura’s heart broke in two to hear the strangled, miserable sobs
rlm@0: that broke free while Tomoyo cried, alone. The brunette was caught
rlm@0: completely off guard. She had never seen Tomoyo like this before.
rlm@0: “What happened?” she asked, hoping that Tomoyo would somehow hear
rlm@0: her. “Tomoyo-chan.” Her own voice was shaky in her ears. 
rlm@0: Tomoyo curled up into a tight little ball on the couch, hugging her
rlm@0: legs to her chest. Her head ached from crying too much. Her body felt
rlm@0: sick and exhausted. But she couldn't stop the tears. She should go to
rlm@0: her room before her mother got home so she wouldn’t see her like
rlm@0: this. She should clean up her little ‘party’ before she would have to
rlm@0: explain what had happened. But she couldn’t will herself to get off
rlm@0: the couch. She didn’t want to leave the dark confines of the room
rlm@0: that she had waited hours in. Hours all alone. She had the sinking
rlm@0: feeling that this is how it would always be. This was what awaited
rlm@0: her in her not so distant future. Alone, alone, always alone. She had
rlm@0: made the cake hours earlier, in preparation for her Christmas party.
rlm@0: Everything had been set up. She had done a meticulous job of making
rlm@0: sure everything would be perfect. Sakura would be there, after all.
rlm@0: And she wanted to spend a perfect Christmas Eve with her darling
rlm@0: Sakura. Finding out Sakura couldn’t be there had been a bit of a
rlm@0: shock, and a rather painful one. She wanted nothing else for
rlm@0: Christmas than to spend it in the glowing presence of her beloved
rlm@0: best friend. But she had hidden all that away. She couldn’t let
rlm@0: Sakura see how disappointed she was. No, she had to make sure that
rlm@0: Sakura enjoyed her night with her family. After all, that was an
rlm@0: important part of Christmas, too. But her family, her only family
rlm@0: could not be there for Christmas Eve. Her mother was far too busy
rlm@0: finishing things at work for the Holiday. She had understood that
rlm@0: when her mother had explained. Sonomi had been hesitant to go, making
rlm@0: sure that it was all right with Tomoyo if she did. Tomoyo knew how
rlm@0: busy her work could be and told her that it was quite all right, that
rlm@0: they would spend Christmas Day together, so it wasn’t a problem. The
rlm@0: two women that meant the most in Tomoyo’s life couldn’t be there for
rlm@0: Christmas Eve. But that was all right. She would be strong for them.
rlm@0: She had guests to attend to as it was. So she had finished the last
rlm@0: of her preparations for the party and then waited. And waited. And
rlm@0: decorated a little more before waiting. She didn’t know when it had
rlm@0: finally struck her that no one was coming. Minutes after the start of
rlm@0: the party? Hours? She couldn’t be sure. But it had all become too
rlm@0: much for her to bear. Here she was, all alone on Christmas Eve, like
rlm@0: some forgotten Christmas present that wouldn’t be found till the next
rlm@0: year. Tears fell past her ivory skin to the couch underneath her. 
rlm@0: Sakura was surprised when she felt a tear of her own slipping down
rlm@0: her cheek. Her eyes were starting to sting as she sat watching her
rlm@0: best friend crying softly. “Tomoyo-chan... What happened? Please..”
rlm@0: she pleaded with the dark haired girl to no avail. She felt so
rlm@0: helpless. There wasn’t anything she could do. She had been so sure
rlm@0: that nothing could faze Tomoyo, that she always managed to have the
rlm@0: gentle smile no matter the circumstances. Seeing her like this was a
rlm@0: wake up call for Sakura, shaking away the illusions that had
rlm@0: surrounded her friend. Suddenly Sakura started to wonder if she
rlm@0: actually had hurt Tomoyo before, not seeing behind the dark haired
rlm@0: girl’s smile to the pain she had caused. Her mind began pouring
rlm@0: through memories, but she quickly gave up that search. It would do no
rlm@0: good. Not now. 
rlm@0: Unknowing of the subject of her thoughts presence, Tomoyo continued
rlm@0: to cry in the darkness. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t think
rlm@0: she could take it. Her heart longed for Sakura, for a love that had
rlm@0: long been denied, one that she now knew she couldn’t have. Yet her
rlm@0: heart would not listen. It only called out for Sakura, aching
rlm@0: painfully for her. And loneliness was the only thing this road
rlm@0: offered. But she would live with it for Sakura. She didn’t know any
rlm@0: other way. Tomoyo cried harder, her sides starting to ache. The
rlm@0: thought of returning to her room, to her personal shrine to Sakura
rlm@0: just made her feel worse inside. She had no place to go. The
rlm@0: Christmas tree peeked out at her through her tear blurred vision,
rlm@0: taunting her with its grim reminder of this painful Christmas Eve.
rlm@0: Her stormy blue eyes shut tightly, her small body shaking on the
rlm@0: couch. She just wanted Sakura to hold her close, to feel her warm
rlm@0: embrace. To hear her beautiful voice. But she knew she couldn’t. This
rlm@0: was the dark underbelly of Christmas. It had two sides. The bright,
rlm@0: joyous side. The one she hoped that Sakura would be seeing with her
rlm@0: family. And the dark, lonely side. The holiday when experienced in
rlm@0: all of its gruesome torment. Alone. When all it managed to do was
rlm@0: reinforce how insignificant and lost one is in the wide world. 
rlm@0: Why had she thrown this party? What had she hoped to accomplish? She
rlm@0: just wanted to have a wonderful Christmas Eve for everyone. She
rlm@0: thought it would be perfect to have Sakura and all of her friends
rlm@0: over. But she knew at the back of her mind that they weren’t her
rlm@0: friends. They were Sakura’s friends. Like a puppy tagging along
rlm@0: behind her owner, Tomoyo had never really been befriended by Chiharu
rlm@0: and the others. She was merely there. Why would they come over for
rlm@0: Christmas of all days? They had their own families and loved ones.
rlm@0: They all had people to share the holiday with. Tomoyo felt frozen
rlm@0: despite the heat being on. Christmas Eve was almost over now. It was
rlm@0: growing late. The day would soon be over, but the scars on Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: soul would remain. After all, Today is always built upon Yesterday’s
rlm@0: ashes. 
rlm@0: Kero sighed, shaking his head. “Christmas isn’t always happy for
rlm@0: everyone. Even with a warm heart, with no one to share it with, what
rlm@0: good is it? It’s like having an oven, but no food to put in it. It’s
rlm@0: just... empty.” 
rlm@0: Sakura didn’t even turn to look at the festively dressed Seal Beast,
rlm@0: her eyes never leaving Tomoyo shuddering form. She looked so weak, so
rlm@0: frail. As if the slightest touch would shatter her into a thousand
rlm@0: jagged pieces. She remembered something her father had said to her
rlm@0: when she had accidentally broken a pot as a child. ‘Sakura-chan, when
rlm@0: we break things, we can’t always fix them. We can try to put them
rlm@0: back together, but they’ll never be exactly the way they were,’ he
rlm@0: had explained while they tried to glue the pot back together. Had she
rlm@0: broken Tomoyo? Could she pick up all the pieces? “What happened?” she
rlm@0: asked in a tiny voice.
rlm@0: Clearing his throat, Kero looked away. He had never seen Tomoyo, or
rlm@0: anyone that he could remember, looking quite so desolate before. “Her
rlm@0: mother couldn’t be here because of work. You couldn’t be here because
rlm@0: of dinner. You friends didn’t show up because they all had things to
rlm@0: do and they’ve never been Tomoyo friends exactly anyway so they
rlm@0: didn’t see it as a big deal. She always follows you around so why
rlm@0: would she care? I don’t think that matters though. The only ones that
rlm@0: she really wanted to be here were you and her mother.”
rlm@0: Shaking her head sadly, Sakura reached out hesitantly for Tomoyo
rlm@0: before stopping, her fingers inches from Tomoyo’s hand. “So this is
rlm@0: all tonight? This is what happened with her party? Tomoyo-chan...”
rlm@0: She sniffled, cold tears spilling down her cheeks. “Tomoyo-chan!” she
rlm@0: buried her face in her hands, crying into them. “It’s not fair! She
rlm@0: shouldn’t have to be so sad! I... Tomoyo-chan, I’m so sorry...” Her
rlm@0: mouth opened to say more, but her throat locked up, unable to allow
rlm@0: her to get anything else out. She just shook her head again, tears
rlm@0: falling to her pajamas. Painful shards of ice grew into her heart,
rlm@0: tearing at her with each consecutive sob that came from the dark
rlm@0: haired girl. She couldn’t help but feel that it was her fault, that
rlm@0: she had failed Tomoyo. ‘I always knew you would save me,’ Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: voice echoed in her mind. ‘But I failed her. I never saved her,’ her
rlm@0: own voice came back accusingly.
rlm@0: “Sakura-chan, I’m sorry I had to show you this,” Kero apologized. 
rlm@0: “No... I’m.. I’m glad you did. If I didn’t see this, I’d never know.
rlm@0: She would just smile when she sees me tomorrow and she’d act like
rlm@0: everything’s all right. Be..Because I..” Her eyes shut closed as she
rlm@0: tried to continue, choking back sobs. “Because I can’t see it on my
rlm@0: own... Kero-chan, I didn’t know..” A small whimper escaped her as she
rlm@0: fell back on her knees.
rlm@0: “It’s okay, Sakura-chan. You’ll figure it out. But it’s not over
rlm@0: yet. There’s still a final spirit to meet. The one who will judge
rlm@0: you. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.” Kero took Sakura’s hand,
rlm@0: leading her away from Tomoyo’s silent form. Sakura kept watching her
rlm@0: as she slowly began to walk away. She could see Sonomi enter the
rlm@0: room, and paused.
rlm@0: Sonomi brushed back some of Tomoyo’s long dark hair as she knelt
rlm@0: beside her. Work had gone later than she expected, but she had
rlm@0: hurried home as quickly as she could. It didn’t take long for her to
rlm@0: realize what had happened. The cake left untouched, the Christmas
rlm@0: letter for Sakura still in Tomoyo’s hands, the tears staining her
rlm@0: daughter’s cheeks. Tomoyo had just passed into a fitful sleep a short
rlm@0: time before her arrival. She wiped the remaining tear from Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: pale cheek before gently picking her up. She kissed her forehead
rlm@0: before walking out of the room with her baby girl. “It will be all
rlm@0: right, Tomoyo-chan. I don’t know how, but it will be. I’ll be here
rlm@0: for you when you wake up.”
rlm@0: ‘At least Sonomi-sama tries to protect her!’ Sakura’s mind lashed
rlm@0: out. ‘And I’m the one she’s trying to protect her from. Oh kami-
rlm@0: sama... How long have I been hurting her?’ Her legs went numb at the
rlm@0: thought. Fresh tears burned in her eyes. A weak sob escaped her lips
rlm@0: and the world went black, plunging her into darkness.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	It was cold. That was the first thing that Sakura noticed. Icy
rlm@0: hands dragged the breath right out of her, cold daggers lancing into
rlm@0: her sides as she tried to breathe in the frozen air. In all of the
rlm@0: other places she had traveled that night, the cold had been a
rlm@0: distant, forgotten thing as if she were not a part of it. But now it
rlm@0: surrounded her, grasping onto her, infusing into her body. Clutching
rlm@0: herself tightly, she struggled to fend off the shaking of her cold
rlm@0: body. “Kero-chan?” she called into the windswept night. But there was
rlm@0: no answer. The howl of the wind startled the Cardmistress, snow
rlm@0: falling about her pajama clad form. Alone and afraid, she started to
rlm@0: cry, slumping to her knees in the freshly fallen snow. The night had
rlm@0: take a lot out of her, and upon expecting to find herself in her bed,
rlm@0: she wound up out in the bleary night without the faintest trace of
rlm@0: her guardian. Still in anguish over seeing Tomoyo in such pain, pain
rlm@0: that she had helped to bring to the door of her sweet and gentle best
rlm@0: friend, Sakura couldn’t work up the strength to get back up. 
rlm@0: 	‘Don’t cry. It won’t get you anywhere,’ a rough voice said from
rlm@0: nowhere. Sakura’s body shuddered as she was wracked with more sobs. 
rlm@0: 	‘Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. It just makes me feel sad,’ a
rlm@0: softer, more gentle voice spoke up from the same spot that was
rlm@0: nowhere but ever so near to the brunette. 
rlm@0: Tomoyo... She had heard Tomoyo say that before. She shouldn’t cry
rlm@0: because it made Tomoyo sad. And she couldn’t make Tomoyo sad anymore.
rlm@0: The other voice... It had to be Syaoran’s. He had told her that
rlm@0: crying wouldn’t solve anything, that she needed to face things
rlm@0: without tears. Yes, he was right. “Everything will always be all
rlm@0: right,” Sakura whispered to herself. That was her power, right? Her
rlm@0: special power. It wasn’t magic, it wasn’t strength. It was just a
rlm@0: tiny phrase in the midst of a snowstorm. But it came with the love
rlm@0: and support of those that had stood behind her at one point in time.
rlm@0: It came with the profound faith of those that believed in her. And
rlm@0: through that belief that they held in her, Sakura could have faith as
rlm@0: well. That perhaps everything would be. Blinking in the blizzard that
rlm@0: encompassed her, Sakura tried to look up. The endless white that had
rlm@0: blanketed everything she could see was replaced in the immediate
rlm@0: vicinity by a dark black shroud that rose up above her kneeling form.
rlm@0: The cloak flailed around in the darkness, snow not daring to fall
rlm@0: upon it’s midnight embrace. Yet Sakura couldn’t see make out whoever
rlm@0: it was inside of the cloak, only a vague figure that remained
rlm@0: shrouded in darkness. The figure held out a hand to Sakura, beckoning
rlm@0: her to follow. “Are you... Are you the Ghost of Christmas Yet to
rlm@0: Come?” Sakura asked above the rising icy shriek of the wind. Her
rlm@0: voice trembled, though not entirely from the cold. She was to be
rlm@0: judged, she knew that. And she was afraid that she would be found
rlm@0: terribly wanting in the eyes of this macabre judge, jury, and
rlm@0: executioner. The figure nodded almost imperceptibly, causing Sakura
rlm@0: to wonder if she had even seen it at all. “There’s so much I’ve
rlm@0: learned tonight. I... I never knew how much I had ignored Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan. I didn’t know how much I had hurt her. Please, show me more. My
rlm@0: mother said that you could help me. I don’t...” Her voice caught in
rlm@0: her throat painfully as she tried to speak. It took a moment to
rlm@0: swallow the burning tears and continue. “I don’t want to hurt anyone
rlm@0: anymore. I just want everything to be all right.” Tears threatened to
rlm@0: spill from her jade eyes, but the shadowed figure merely watched in
rlm@0: silence before beckoning once more. Sakura once again found herself
rlm@0: wishing Tomoyo was there to clutch onto. Why did they have to be
rlm@0: ghosts? Why couldn’t they have been the three magical beings of
rlm@0: Christmas? Or the three Mr. Seagulls? Anything would be better than
rlm@0: ghosts. But she had already made up her mind. Frightened or not, she
rlm@0: had to follow. The shadowed figure slowly took her hand. It felt cold
rlm@0: yet familiar in her grasp, but she couldn’t quite figure out who it
rlm@0: belonged to. Her mind quickly gave up the futile attempt as the
rlm@0: snowstorm grew infinitely worse, swallowing up Sakura and the
rlm@0: mysterious stranger in it’s jagged talons. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Before the two figures, the snow slowly began to dissipate,
rlm@0: weakening it’s snow white hold on Sakura’s vision. All around her,
rlm@0: the snow continued to fall with a silent intensity, but before her it
rlm@0: dropped in only small groups of snowflakes. She caught one between
rlm@0: her hands, holding it in her opened palms for a moment. The tiny ice
rlm@0: crystal was beautiful, a jewel from the sky. But almost immediately,
rlm@0: it melted into cold water in her hands, not a trace remaining of the
rlm@0: beauty she had seen moments before. 
rlm@0: Cold fingers curled under Sakura’s chin, lifting her gaze to the
rlm@0: glass in front of them. It took all of the brunette’s strength not to
rlm@0: jump at the sudden touch. The glass looked into a busy office room,
rlm@0: people hurrying about their business. One woman in a business suit
rlm@0: looked particularly familiar with her fairly short hair and glasses. 
rlm@0: “Working on your book, Naoko-san?” one of the women asked as she
rlm@0: poured herself something warm to drink. She had a warm, friendly air
rlm@0: about her, but her tone was almost teasing as if she asked the
rlm@0: question often.
rlm@0: Naoko frowned, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with
rlm@0: her index finger. “No, I’m not working on it today,” she stated
rlm@0: simply, going through some papers shuffled together on her lap.
rlm@0: “Oh? Why not?” a man asked curiously. Despite the earlier teasing,
rlm@0: it seemed that they were used to a different answer. “Because it’s
rlm@0: Christmas Eve?”
rlm@0: Naoko nodded somberly, looking up again. The light shined off her
rlm@0: glasses for a moment, frightening Sakura as she watched. “I don’t
rlm@0: want to anger the spirits, after all. Today’s the anniversary. A girl
rlm@0: I went to school with for years did something horrific last year. You
rlm@0: see, she was a very lonely girl. You wouldn’t know that at first, but
rlm@0: she was. She only had one really good friend. None of us understood
rlm@0: at first, but as we grew older if became blaringly obvious. She was
rlm@0: in love with her friend. But it was an unrequited love, one that she
rlm@0: could never have. Every Christmas, she would try to give her gift of
rlm@0: love to the one she held dear, but every year it went unreturned. No
rlm@0: one could see that she was slowly freezing to death from the cruel,
rlm@0: cold emptiness in her heart. Eventually, you could see the pain in
rlm@0: her eyes, like cracks running through ice. It was frightening to see.
rlm@0: It always made me feel cold inside when those eyes would turn to me.”
rlm@0: Naoko pulled her jacket about her tighter, shivering in her chair. “I
rlm@0: didn’t hear from her after high school, but I heard stories. She
rlm@0: withdrew more and more as her lonely heart began to pain her even
rlm@0: further. Yet every Christmas she would offer up her gift and every
rlm@0: Christmas it would be denied her. One Christmas years ago, she simply
rlm@0: died. It was as if her body just couldn’t live with that torment
rlm@0: anymore. I heard that she looked peaceful, at rest. I guess she
rlm@0: finally found the rest in death that she couldn’t have in life.” A
rlm@0: cell phone call interrupted her story. Picking it up, she blushed a
rlm@0: little upon answering. “Nakuru-san! Hai, of course I’ll be home in
rlm@0: time for dinner.” The blush turned a little deeper as she whispered
rlm@0: into the phone. “Of course. You know I love seeing you in that dress.
rlm@0: Alright. I’ll see you in an hour or two.”
rlm@0: Sakura could only stare into the office, her hand on the window
rlm@0: shaking softly. Naoko’s story had sent a splinter of ice deep into
rlm@0: her soul, chilling her very being. Her mind hurried through images of
rlm@0: classmates, horrified that such a thing could happen. She abandoned
rlm@0: the quest immediately when a sweet, gentle voice rang out in her
rlm@0: mind. ‘You know who it is, Sakura-chan. You know who it is very
rlm@0: well.’ She couldn’t pinpoint the source of the voice, but the
rlm@0: unsettling feeling that washed over her kept her from searching for
rlm@0: it. “No... How can something like that happen? That’s terrible...”
rlm@0: She turned on the shrouded spirit, nearly hysterical. “How can
rlm@0: something like that happen on Christmas? Christmas is a time of
rlm@0: love... and joy and... And that’s too sad. No one should have to be
rlm@0: that lonely on Christmas. No one should ever have to be that lonely.
rlm@0: It..” she trailed off, hiccuping. Her tears were starting to build
rlm@0: again and she found it difficult to fight them off. “Please... Please
rlm@0: show me that there’s still love left in this desolate place...
rlm@0: Otherwise, what have I fought for? What good did I do? Please...” Her
rlm@0: voice quavered as she begged the ominous silhouette.
rlm@0: The shadow did not move, but the scenery around them did. They were
rlm@0: indoors at last, finally in a heated room. But the house they were in
rlm@0: offered little warmth. Sakura recognized it almost immediately.
rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan’s house!” She exclaimed, a small yet delighted laugh
rlm@0: coming from her. Yes, that was exactly what she needed. She could see
rlm@0: Tomoyo, see the love that always flowed from her heart. The woman’s
rlm@0: warm and caring nature would help through whatever dark time had
rlm@0: befallen one of their classmates. She knew that what happened to her
rlm@0: classmate must be a warning, a sign of where her neglect was leading.
rlm@0: But she couldn’t believe that Tomoyo would ever do such a thing. The
rlm@0: notion was abstract to Sakura, beyond rational understanding. It
rlm@0: would never happen. 
rlm@0: Jade eyes darted around the large room of the mansion, looking for
rlm@0: any symbol of her dark haired best friend. It was the same room she
rlm@0: had seen Tomoyo in just a short time before, but now there was no
rlm@0: Christmas tree, no lights or decorations. It felt... empty. That
rlm@0: wasn’t to say the furniture and normal items were not there, but that
rlm@0: a feeling about the room, one that she associated with the house
rlm@0: itself was missing. Sakura swallowed painfully and turned to the
rlm@0: spirit. Her mind raced down a dead end tunnel, afraid of what was
rlm@0: lurking in the shadows at the end of that path. Turning away, she
rlm@0: bolted out of the room, hurrying for sanctuary, the one place she
rlm@0: could be sure she would find that feeling again. Tomoyo’s room. The
rlm@0: house rushed past her in a blur as she made her way to the lodgings
rlm@0: of her best friend. The door was already ajar, hanging open as if
rlm@0: pushed by a ghost. Pausing for only an instant, Sakura rushed in
rlm@0: headlong, hoping and praying that the pale woman who occupied it
rlm@0: would be sitting there even now, editing videotape or perhaps working
rlm@0: on a costume. But it was not to be so. Unable to give up hope, the
rlm@0: brunette looked around the room. A costume lay half finished on
rlm@0: Tomoyo’s desk, numerous designs neatly laid out near it. A small
rlm@0: camcorder was resting near the bed, a small stack of videotapes
rlm@0: nearby. A picture of the room’s owner, several years older than she
rlm@0: had been in Sakura’s own time and smiling as she sat next to an older
rlm@0: Sakura sat on the nightstand. The room looked just how Sakura had
rlm@0: remembered it, even if a few years change were evident. But it all
rlm@0: had a dull feeling to it, as if it were merely a moment of the past
rlm@0: captured inside the room, never moving forward but never holding the
rlm@0: life it once had. ‘When I videotape, I capture moments of Sakura-chan
rlm@0: frozen on film. I can watch them forever, cherishing these moments
rlm@0: even when they have long disappeared into the past,’ Tomoyo’s voice
rlm@0: echoed in Sakura’ panic driven head. She had spoken those words to
rlm@0: the Cardmistress not more than a week earlier, but they rang eerily
rlm@0: true in this room that was not truly a room. It had been turned into
rlm@0: a museum, a snapshot of it’s former self. Sakura’s knees felt weak
rlm@0: and wobbly, as if they belonged to someone other than the athletic
rlm@0: brunette. Her stomach felt sick as she shut her eyes tightly, trying
rlm@0: to force out the images of the long dead room. 
rlm@0: A faint, sickly sobbing finally drew Sakura out of her pain induced
rlm@0: game of hide and seek with reality. Like a Siren’s song, she followed
rlm@0: it, desperate to find it’s source. The voice behind the pain wracked
rlm@0: sobs sounded so familiar. Who could be in such terrible agony? The
rlm@0: cries were hopeless, desolate sounds that sent a chill over Sakura
rlm@0: that was worse than any of the snowstorm she had witnessed. Her feet
rlm@0: continued moving her forward even after her mind decided it didn’t
rlm@0: want to see whatever lay at the end of this path. She passed a framed
rlm@0: picture of her mother next to one by Tomoyo. They were nearly the
rlm@0: same age in the pictures. Sakura found herself awestruck by the
rlm@0: similarities. Tomoyo looked remarkably like her mother, something she
rlm@0: had never truly noticed before, despite Sonomi’s explanations of it.
rlm@0: It was almost frightening to see the two side by side. Long, dark
rlm@0: grayish hair clung around both of their shoulders, falling in
rlm@0: beautiful waves. Both with such pale complexions and such gentle
rlm@0: smiles. The biggest difference that Sakura could see were their eyes.
rlm@0: Nadeshiko’s were the same emerald green as Sakura’s whereas Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: were a deep, stormy blue. ‘Nadeshiko-chan was an angel I was blessed
rlm@0: to have met,’ Sonomi had once said. “So is Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura
rlm@0: whispered softly, unable to tear her eyes away from the photographs.
rlm@0: ‘No!!’ Something inside her screamed. Whatever it was frightened her
rlm@0: dearly, but it’s message rang clear. No, Tomoyo couldn’t be an angel.
rlm@0: Not yet. Not yet. Please, not yet...
rlm@0: Her shaky footsteps finally brought her into the bedroom that housed
rlm@0: the quiet sobs that filtered through the house like an fine mist,
rlm@0: blanketing the house in sadness and grief. Sonomi Daidouji, Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: mother lie on her bed, clutching onto a pillow the way a woman would
rlm@0: clutch to a life preserver for dear life out in the cold relentless
rlm@0: ocean. Sonomi had been a beautiful, amazing woman when she was
rlm@0: younger, of that Sakura was certain. By the time she had met Sonomi,
rlm@0: something had been stolen from her. Her love remained, but her hope
rlm@0: and joy had been ripped away from her, leaving her bitter and pained.
rlm@0: But there was still a warmth in her heart, one that Tomoyo had
rlm@0: filled. Her daughter had given her some reason to continue on, a
rlm@0: gentle glow that Sakura had seen time and again in Sonomi’s presence.
rlm@0: But that was all gone now. Sonomi’s sobs were brittle, broken. There
rlm@0: was no more joy or warmth inside of her heart. It had all been cut so
rlm@0: violently away from her. She looked like a woman who had lost
rlm@0: everything, who had not a soul in the world to hold out for in this
rlm@0: life. There was a painful resignation in her sobs and Sakura realized
rlm@0: with shock that it was defeat. Sonomi had always been a firey willed
rlm@0: woman that continued on despite the pain life had dished out to her.
rlm@0: But that iron willed determination was gone. Sakura felt a shaky sob
rlm@0: of her own pass through her body. There was only one thing that this
rlm@0: could mean. Her mind still refused it with all its might, unable to
rlm@0: accept it as anything more than a lie. 
rlm@0: Without warning, the window opened suddenly, spilling white
rlm@0: crystalline snowflakes about the room. They swirled around Sakura in
rlm@0: hurried patterns, turning her around as they again filled up her
rlm@0: vision. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	When the last of the snow flakes had fallen away from the terrible
rlm@0: blinding white that had encompassed her, Sakura finally saw that they
rlm@0: were somewhere that she had not been for quite a long time. Her heart
rlm@0: froze in her chest, refusing to budge in even the smallest of
rlm@0: movements. She knew this place from long ago. Memories returned to
rlm@0: her unbidden, all carrying depths of sadness that she had not dwelled
rlm@0: on in years. There was not an ounce of snow on the ground. Only a
rlm@0: dark, dreadful sky that poured down a relentless rain from up above.
rlm@0: The shadows reached out as if in wait to lurch out and snag
rlm@0: unsuspecting visitors and lure them to stay in their endless depths.
rlm@0: This was a cemetery. The last time she had been to one was years
rlm@0: earlier when she had visited her mother’s grave.  The skies
rlm@0: themselves had gone from blinding white to an anguished dark indigo,
rlm@0: almost the same color as Tomoyo’s eyes. The skies above were weeping. 
rlm@0: 	The wet, distraught Cardmistress caught sight of the dark figure
rlm@0: that was leading her along this dreadful tour up ahead near a
rlm@0: gravestone. The hand reached out slowly, beckoning her once more.
rlm@0: Sakura’s legs felt like wet ramen noodles, but somehow she managed to
rlm@0: close the distance between herself and the cloaked ghost. Her heart
rlm@0: was pounding in her chest, her mind still trying desperately to
rlm@0: believe that Tomoyo wasn’t... But Sonomi’s cries were proof enough.
rlm@0: They gave way the endless torment of a mother who has lost her only
rlm@0: child. Sakura slowed her pace as she came nearer, holding her hands
rlm@0: tightly to her chest. “This... This is only a warning, right? I can
rlm@0: still fix things, can’t I? Please... Please tell me! I can’t... It
rlm@0: just can’t be this way..” Tears stung her jade eyes, blurring the
rlm@0: world in front of her, but still it crept forward as her legs moved
rlm@0: forward of their own will. The ghost just watched her impassively,
rlm@0: it’s hidden gaze almost unbearable for Sakura. It’s familiar hand
rlm@0: pointed out to the grave again, demanding Sakura’s attention. The
rlm@0: Cardmistress balked, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks as the rain
rlm@0: drenched her body and soul. “Please... Please tell me she’ll be all
rlm@0: right... I need Tomoyo-chan... She can’t...” Her voice choked off
rlm@0: with a painful sob as her eyes slowly turned to the tombstone. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: ‘	Tomoyo Daidouji
rlm@0: Our dear, sweet angel was here for but a short visit,
rlm@0: But we will never forget the joy and happiness she brought into our
rlm@0: lives.
rlm@0: May she soar in ways that this life denied her.’
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	Sakura’s head shook slowly, disbelieving the words at first. It
rlm@0: couldn’t be. No... Deep, endless regret and sadness gripped Sakura
rlm@0: tightly, wrenching at her heart. Her body shook with the force of the
rlm@0: sobs wracking her small body. “Tomoyo-chan... Please, no...” Her wet
rlm@0: hair fell about her face, obscuring her vision along with her now
rlm@0: freezing tears. She couldn’t tell what were raindrops and what were
rlm@0: teardrops anymore. Her fingers slowly brushed across the ingrained
rlm@0: words, her lips trembling as she did. “It’s not fair!” She screamed
rlm@0: into the storm, her whole body collapsing against the tombstone.
rlm@0: “Tomoyo-chan...” her hoarse voice whispered as she clung to the
rlm@0: tombstone as she would her now dead friend. The angel on top looked
rlm@0: down sympathetically from it’s statuesque eyes. Sakura clutched
rlm@0: tighter onto the tombstone, ignoring the biting stone against her
rlm@0: soft, wet skin. She was lost now. What could she do without Tomoyo?
rlm@0: Her best friend, her support, her confidant, all gone in one fell
rlm@0: swoop. And with it, all of the love and support that Tomoyo had
rlm@0: showered on her since they were in the third grade. Gone. Because of
rlm@0: her neglect. ‘Sakura-chan, you have to be careful with that flower.
rlm@0: You have to water it and love it every day or it will shrivel and
rlm@0: die. You must take good care of it,’ her mother’s voice reached out.
rlm@0: Sakura’s nodded her three year old head with a happy smile. But the
rlm@0: flower had died. Sakura had forgotten all about it and it had
rlm@0: withered. ‘Is that what I did to Tomoyo?’ she asked herself, her mind
rlm@0: still a shattered mirror of grief and sorrow. ‘Did I forget to water
rlm@0: her and love her? Did I forget all about her until she shriveled up
rlm@0: and died?’ Harsh, dark cries escaped Sakura, her head pressed firmly
rlm@0: against the stone. Her heart felt dead in her chest, nothing more
rlm@0: than a collapsed black hole of pain and suffering. Every time she
rlm@0: closed her eyes, she could see Tomoyo’s beautiful smiling face. But
rlm@0: she would never see that smile again. It had been taken from her. She
rlm@0: had not appreciated the gift that was bestowed upon her and it had
rlm@0: been returned. “No! No!! Tomoyo-chan!!” Her fist battered against the
rlm@0: tombstone to no avail, her wrist screaming in agony as she twisted
rlm@0: it. But that was hardly of any consequence to her anymore. Despair
rlm@0: wrapped around her soul like a thick blanket. 
rlm@0: 	“Get away from here!” An angry voice called. It took all of
rlm@0: Sakura’s will to turn towards the voice. A girl that couldn’t be more
rlm@0: than eight years old stormed forward through the rain, only a small
rlm@0: umbrella in her hand there to protect her from it’s biting chill. She
rlm@0: had short, dark hair, and angry indigo eyes. She looked like she was
rlm@0: barely holding onto her composure, tears sparkling at the edge of her
rlm@0: eyes. Sakura opened her mouth to answer, but another spoke up before
rlm@0: she had the chance. Oddly enough, it was her own voice. Somewhat
rlm@0: older, dulled from what sounded like years of pain.
rlm@0: 	“What?”
rlm@0: 	The little girl shook her head, rain droplets falling away from
rlm@0: her. “You! You’re Sakura Li, aren’t you?” Her voice was accusatory,
rlm@0: hateful. As if the very possibility sickened and dismayed her. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura spotted another woman. Herself, she mused. Though some years
rlm@0: older by now. “I am,” she whispered softly, looking at the girl
rlm@0: questioningly.  She was standing near the grave, just inches from
rlm@0: where the past Sakura was holding onto it. Her finger’s brushed
rlm@0: brunette hair from her eyes.
rlm@0: 	“Get away from there! You’re not wanted here! Stay away from my
rlm@0: mama!” The girl yelled, her tears beginning to fall down her pale
rlm@0: cheeks. She was clearly upset by Sakura’s presence, her little body
rlm@0: shaking in what looked like rage. 
rlm@0: 	Sakura opened her mouth several times but nothing came out. She had
rlm@0: only seen Tomoyo’s daughter twice before and once had been at the
rlm@0: funeral. “I’m sorry,” she stated at last in a voice that was nearly a
rlm@0: whisper. The girl was living with her grandmother now, though Sakura
rlm@0: hadn’t spoken to Sonomi in quite some time. Her eyes went back to the
rlm@0: grave and she choked back the tears that lurked just beneath the
rlm@0: surface. “She was my best friend. I miss her. I just... I wanted to
rlm@0: give her a Christmas present.” She held up a small wrapped package in
rlm@0: her hand, gingerly protecting it from the rain.
rlm@0: 	“You killed her! She doesn’t need anything from you! Haven’t you
rlm@0: done enough!” The younger girl was crying heavily by now, huge tears
rlm@0: falling past her cheeks. But she never took her eyes off of Sakura,
rlm@0: dead intent on protecting her dead mother from any further pain. “She
rlm@0: loved you! She always pretended that it didn’t hurt her, that she was
rlm@0: happy, but I could tell... I could tell from the stories she told of
rlm@0: you and how wonderful you were, the times I saw her crying late at
rlm@0: night when she thought I was asleep. All you did was hurt her!! Get
rlm@0: away from my mama!” The girl ran up to Sakura, tears streaming down
rlm@0: her face. She hit at Sakura weakly, trying to fend off the woman who
rlm@0: had come to her mother’s grave, but her hands soon fell limply to her
rlm@0: sides. Her small body shook with her sobs for her mama, the one that
rlm@0: had been taken from her far too early.
rlm@0: 	Sakura squeezed her jade eyes shut tight, tears spilling across her
rlm@0: own cheeks, mixing with the rain. Kneeling down, she held the young
rlm@0: girl close, whispering over and over again, “I’m so sorry.” She
rlm@0: barely noticed the rain anymore, her arms tightly around the young
rlm@0: girl before her. Tomoyo’s one and only daughter. Looking into those
rlm@0: tear filled indigo eyes had been like looking once more into Tomoyo’s
rlm@0: own eyes and it was too much for the brunette to handle. 
rlm@0: 	“She... She got sick...” the girl sniffled, unable to struggle
rlm@0: anymore. “She got so sick... But she wasn’t scared. She was never
rlm@0: afraid of dying. I think... I think part of her wanted to die... The
rlm@0: part that you had ruined... She said that she’d watch me... That
rlm@0: she’d keep an eye on me... And that she’d watch you, too... But I
rlm@0: don’t want her to watch you.. Because you’ll just keep hurting my
rlm@0: mama the way you always did! I hate you!!” Fresh tears broke free as
rlm@0: the little girl slumped against Sakura. “She loved you so much, but
rlm@0: you hated her!! You hated my mama!! When she got sick, she didn’t get
rlm@0: better because of you! Gramma says that her broken heart wouldn’t
rlm@0: mend because of you so her body died the same way!” Her cries were
rlm@0: hysterical now, her small body shuddering against Sakura’s.
rlm@0: 	Sakura could only offer her own muffled sobs in reply, her face
rlm@0: pressed against the young girl’s dark hair. The jagged pieces of her
rlm@0: heart that remained felt as if they had been set aflame, left to burn
rlm@0: away until there was nothing left. “I’m so sorry... So, so sorry...”
rlm@0: Her eyes blinked open slowly, tears still falling from them. “I... I
rlm@0: never meant to hurt you mama. I... I loved her...” Her voice cracked
rlm@0: at the confession, her jade eyes closing tightly again as more tears
rlm@0: threatened to overwhelm her. Yes, she knew that now. She did love
rlm@0: Tomoyo. She still did. She always had. But she realized it too late.
rlm@0: She held on desperately to Tomoyo’s only daughter, the two crying
rlm@0: together in front of an angel’s grave. 
rlm@0: 	“This is what awaits you,” a familiar voice said from behind the
rlm@0: dark cloak as it stood looming over Sakura. A hand reached down and
rlm@0: took Sakura’s gently.
rlm@0: 	Sakura shook her head, wiping at her eyes with her cold, frozen
rlm@0: hands. “Please.. Please say I can fix this. It’s not too late, is
rlm@0: it?” She looked up tearfully at the shrouded ghost, her eyes
rlm@0: pleading. “There has to be a way. Tomoyo won’t die like this, will
rlm@0: she?”
rlm@0: 	The figure reached back and slowly pulled away the dark hood that
rlm@0: had covered its face. Brunette hair escaped the dark confines,
rlm@0: followed by emerald eyes. Sakura found herself looking up at her
rlm@0: mirror image. She herself was the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. The
rlm@0: still half shrouded Sakura reached down and took Sakura's hand with
rlm@0: her own, shaking her head. “I don’t know if you can prolong her life
rlm@0: or if she will still die at this time. But that doesn’t matter. You
rlm@0: can make what life she does have beautiful and warm. You can share it
rlm@0: with her, experiencing the joys and pains it brings together. It
rlm@0: doesn’t matter how much time she has left. It matters how that time
rlm@0: is spent. Sakura, don’t be afraid of death. Be afraid of an
rlm@0: unfulfilled life. Even if Tomoyo still dies and becomes your guardian
rlm@0: angel, at least she will have the beautiful memories of your life
rlm@0: together. I’m sure mom will watch out for her up there.” Her hand
rlm@0: pulled away to rest on Sakura’s heart. “The future is for you to
rlm@0: decide. Please choose carefully, Sakura. For both of our sakes.”
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	“No!!!” The earth tilted around Sakura, colors blurring together as
rlm@0: she hurtled through what must have been an endless void. Her shoulder
rlm@0: slammed down hard into the floor, her bare feet sticking up in the
rlm@0: air out of her dry and none the worse for wear pajama pants.
rlm@0: “Hoe...?” Looking around the room curiously, Sakura found that she
rlm@0: had fallen out of bed. She quickly shifted to her hands and knees,
rlm@0: joyous realization slowly dawning upon her. Giggles escaped her lips
rlm@0: as she rose to her feet, twirling around in the early morning
rlm@0: sunlight. Her eyes spotted the Sakura doll Tomoyo had made for her
rlm@0: long ago and she instantly seized upon it, hugging the poor thing
rlm@0: until she was nearly certain it would pop. “I’m back!! Kero-chan, I’m
rlm@0: back!” Placing the Sakura doll back on the bed, Sakura lifted up the
rlm@0: sleeping Seal Beast by his hands, twirling around with him. Another
rlm@0: laugh escaped her as she spun on her foot. “My mom gave me a second
rlm@0: chance!” Sakura smiled gloriously as she ran to look out at the
rlm@0: beautiful sunlight spilling through her window. She basked in it’s
rlm@0: gentle glow, her eyes closed and her arms wide open. Kero muttered to
rlm@0: himself as he crawled back into his bed, pulling the blankets up
rlm@0: around himself. It was too early for crazy things like this. But
rlm@0: Sakura didn’t hear him, too busy with a hundred different thoughts to
rlm@0: bother. Her hand reached instinctively for the cell phone, but she
rlm@0: paused halfway through dialing Tomoyo’s number. No, this was
rlm@0: something she would have to do in person. And that was exactly what
rlm@0: she would do!
rlm@0: 	Pulling off her pajama top and kicking her pajama pants off, Sakura
rlm@0: dug through her closet for something to wear. Her eyes finally caught
rlm@0: on a brown costume on the bed. With cute little antlers. She left the
rlm@0: closet and picked up the reindeer costume Tomoyo had made for her a
rlm@0: short time ago but she hadn’t had the time to wear yet. Well, and she
rlm@0: hadn’t been in a hurry to dress up like a reindeer. But she pulled it
rlm@0: on quickly, the jingle from the bells giving her a start. Another
rlm@0: giggle escaped her lips as she realized what it was. Looking in the
rlm@0: mirror, she sweatdropped as she saw herself dressed up as a cute
rlm@0: reindeer. It was most certainly one of Tomoyo’s designs. Plenty of
rlm@0: bells and cute reindeer paw gloves and boots adorned the costume. 
rlm@0: A snicker came from Touya who was standing in the doorway, leaning
rlm@0: against the doorframe casually. “You’re not actually wearing that for
rlm@0: Christmas Day, are you, kaijuu?” he asked curiously.
rlm@0: 	Sakura whirled on him, her natural response getting the best of
rlm@0: her. Glaring at Touya, she crossed her arms, a chorus of jingling
rlm@0: following the simple motion. Her face turned red, but she maintained
rlm@0: her glare. “Onii-chan!!! Tomoyo-chan made this for me! Of course I’m
rlm@0: going to wear it for Christmas! She went through a lot of trouble to
rlm@0: make it and you shouldn’t make fun of it!” Oh, if she were a real
rlm@0: reindeer, she’d skewer him on her antlers right now. But he just
rlm@0: grinned and patted her on the head, making the bells shake again.
rlm@0: 	“Be quiet on the way downstairs, kaijuu, or you’ll wake up dad.
rlm@0: Don’t stay out too long or you’ll miss Christmas Breakfast. Which you
rlm@0: have to help me cook.” Her turned his back to her, heading back
rlm@0: presumably to his own room. “But on second thought, I don’t need a
rlm@0: monster helping me cook. I’ll just make it on my own. So don’t worry
rlm@0: about breakfast. Tell Tomoyo-chan I said hello.”
rlm@0: 	Sakura blinked in confusion for a moment as he walked off. A smile
rlm@0: slowly spread across her lips and she ran over and gave him a hug
rlm@0: from behind, bells jingling all the while. Kero pulled a pillow over
rlm@0: his head to muffle the noise. “Arigato, Onii-chan!!” 
rlm@0: 	Using the Silent to get downstairs without the bells waking up her
rlm@0: father, Sakura quickly made her way outside. With a few words, she
rlm@0: was flying through the air to Tomoyo’s house. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	Landing in front of the large mansion that Tomoyo lived in with her
rlm@0: mother, Sakura paused before the large door. She hadn’t called
rlm@0: beforehand and it was probably too early for Tomoyo or her mother to
rlm@0: be awake. Maybe she should have waited until.. But before she could
rlm@0: finish her thought, the door sprung open. Tomoyo stood before Sakura
rlm@0: in the party dress she had seen her in the night before, clutching
rlm@0: her camcorder in her hand with a sparkle in her eyes. Sakura had a
rlm@0: moment to realize that Tomoyo hadn’t changed into her nightgown the
rlm@0: night before because her mother had carried her off to bed. 
rlm@0: 	“Oh, Sakura-chan, it was so cute! I caught it all on videotape! It
rlm@0: was like a beautiful Christmas wish come true. Sakura-chan the
rlm@0: reindeer, flying across the sky in her hurry to bring Christmas joy.”
rlm@0: Tomoyo sighed extravagantly, her free hand on her cheek. “All you
rlm@0: needed was a cute little sleigh behind you and it would have been
rlm@0: perfect.” Her hand went under her chin thoughtfully as her gentle
rlm@0: smile settled in on her still ecstatic features.
rlm@0: 	Blushing deeply, Sakura looked down. She hadn’t quite realized how
rlm@0: Tomoyo would react to her arrival this way. She should be used to it
rlm@0: by now. Part of her wanted to know how Tomoyo had gotten it all on
rlm@0: tape when she hadn’t known she was coming, but it hardly seemed
rlm@0: important. She smiled herself, glad to see Tomoyo with sparkles in
rlm@0: her eyes instead of the tears she had shed the night before. Sakura
rlm@0: lunged forward, hugging Tomoyo tightly. Her heart was overjoyed to
rlm@0: see Tomoyo again, to feel Tomoyo again, to smell her sweet scent all
rlm@0: over again. It was almost too good to be true. 
rlm@0: 	Surprised for a brief moment, Tomoyo wrapped her own arms around
rlm@0: Sakura, gently rubbing her back as she hugged the brunette. She had
rlm@0: been thrilled to see Sakura on Christmas morning, showing up right at
rlm@0: her door like Santa’s cutest reindeer. The pain of the night before
rlm@0: faded into obscurity in Sakura’s warm embrace, driving back
rlm@0: everything but the love in her heart for the Cardmistress. “I’m so
rlm@0: glad to see you, Sakura-chan. I was thinking about you a lot last
rlm@0: night.”
rlm@0: 	Sakura bit her lip as she pulled back slightly, startling Tomoyo
rlm@0: with her sudden change of behavior. “I know,” she whispered sadly.
rlm@0: Her emerald eyes flashed with determination as she smiled once again.
rlm@0: “But you’ll never have to think of me that way again. I promise.”
rlm@0: 	Tomoyo continued to smile, but she was a bit puzzled by what Sakura
rlm@0: had meant. She merely took Sakura’s hands and led her inside. “Please
rlm@0: come in, Sakura-chan. There’s a nice fire going and my favorite
rlm@0: reindeer shouldn’t have to stay in the cold.” Sakura followed
rlm@0: obediently as Tomoyo led the way. They finally stopped in the same
rlm@0: room Tomoyo had occupied the night before, the large Christmas tree
rlm@0: still flashing it’s lights in wondrous patterns, a large fire blazing
rlm@0: in a fireplace adorned with two stockings. Tomoyo gently sat Sakura
rlm@0: down with her hands on her shoulders in front of the fire. There was
rlm@0: mistletoe hanging just about every conceivable place. Kneeling down
rlm@0: herself, Tomoyo smoothed out her skirt. “This is a wonderful
rlm@0: Christmas gift, Sakura-chan. Its so wonderful to see you.”
rlm@0: 	The room looked much warmer and comforting in the early morning
rlm@0: light and it helped to soothe Sakura’s spirits as the memories of
rlm@0: Tomoyo crying on the couch the night before pushed at the back of her
rlm@0: mind. Her emerald eyes looked over shyly but determinedly at Tomoyo.
rlm@0: “Well, that’s not really my present, Tomoyo-chan. Could you open the
rlm@0: present I gave you yesterday? I have something I want to say along
rlm@0: with it.” She blushed a bit, her hand going behind her head
rlm@0: nervously. But her nervousness slowly dissipated as Tomoyo’s gentle
rlm@0: smile and nod calmed her. Her heart began to beat steadily again as
rlm@0: Tomoyo hurried over to the gifts under the tree, gracefully picking
rlm@0: up the gift she had received from Sakura the day before, having gone
rlm@0: straight to it.
rlm@0: 	Anticipation filled the air as Tomoyo walked back over to Sakura’s
rlm@0: side, slowly sitting down next to her once more. Her mind wasn’t
rlm@0: focussed on what it could be, but simply that it was from Sakura.
rlm@0: That alone was enough to make it a wonderful Christmas present
rlm@0: indeed. She would have to find someway to repay Sakura with all her
rlm@0: heart for whatever the gift may be. Noticing that Sakura herself was
rlm@0: getting anxious, she decided to spare the poor brunette and began to
rlm@0: unwrap the present. To he shock and delight, it was the same angel
rlm@0: doll that she had seen Sakura pick up at the Twin Bells shop only a
rlm@0: day prior. “Sakura-chan, it’s gorgeous.. A beautiful angel from
rlm@0: Sakura-chan..” She watched it closely for a long moment, admiring the
rlm@0: beautiful gift her friend had given her. She hugged it tightly,
rlm@0: closing her eyes as she did. “It’s beautiful. But Sakura-chan, wasn’t
rlm@0: it for Li-kun?” Tomoyo’s eyes opened curiously, her dark hair
rlm@0: fluttering about as she turned her gaze once more to Sakura.
rlm@0: 	Sakura shook her head quickly. “I only said that so it would be a
rlm@0: surprise. I got him a present a while back. When I saw it, I thought
rlm@0: ‘That’s the perfect gift for Tomoyo-chan. She’s just like an angel,
rlm@0: so she’ll take great care of it.’” She smiled at the pale girl,
rlm@0: thrilled to see Tomoyo still delightfully holding the angel doll. To
rlm@0: her surprise, there were tears in Tomoyo’s eyes as well. They weren’t
rlm@0: the same bitter tears she had seen the night before, but joyous,
rlm@0: happy tears that threatened to consume the dark haired girl in what
rlm@0: amounted to utter bliss. 
rlm@0: 	“It is perfect. Nearly as perfect as you. Thank you so very much,
rlm@0: Sakura-chan. I will treasure it always,” Tomoyo promised brightly,
rlm@0: her sweet lips turned into a gorgeous smile. This had to be the
rlm@0: single greatest Christmas she had ever had. Not only was she spending
rlm@0: the morning with Sakura, but to receive such a gift from her.. It was
rlm@0: like the brightest of dreams. 
rlm@0: 	Brushing back her hair, Sakura met Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes with
rlm@0: her own emerald green ones. “But I was wrong. It’s not the perfect
rlm@0: gift for Tomoyo-chan. There’s one thing that could be better. One
rlm@0: thing that I can give to you that I hope can make up for everything.
rlm@0: A present that I didn’t even realize I had to give until last night.”
rlm@0: Swallowing deeply to keep her nerves in check, Sakura leaned forward
rlm@0: and kissed Tomoyo. The dark haired girl was surprised for only a
rlm@0: fraction of a second before she melted into Sakura’s kiss, kissing
rlm@0: back with a gentle yet intense fervor that left Sakura a little
rlm@0: shaken when she finally pulled away. Tomoyo was sitting next to her
rlm@0: with her bright, all knowing indigo eyes, a radiant smile on her
rlm@0: lips. The kiss had been small, but world shaking. Tomoyo simply
rlm@0: beamed in a light that seemed to burn from her heart. Sakura
rlm@0: surprised herself when she leaned in for a second kiss. Tomoyo’s lips
rlm@0: were splendidly soft, coaxing her own lips open into a deeper, more
rlm@0: drawn out kiss that left both girls breathless. “Tomoyo-chan.. I love
rlm@0: you,” Sakura said as she finally caught her breath.  She realized
rlm@0: that her hand was in Tomoyo’s hair and that their noses were pressed
rlm@0: together, Tomoyo’s hands both on her cheeks. 
rlm@0: 	This time tears did spill from Tomoyo’s stormy eyes, dripping onto
rlm@0: Sakura’s cheeks as they made their path slowly downward. Those were
rlm@0: the most beautiful words Tomoyo had ever heard and she knew that they
rlm@0: were words that she could never possibly grow tired of hearing.
rlm@0: “Sakura-chan... My Sakura-chan..” she whispered softly in her musical
rlm@0: voice. “I love you so much.” Her lips lightly brushed Sakura’s again
rlm@0: as she gingerly pulled Sakura closer. Her eyes slipped closed, tears
rlm@0: still falling from them as they kissed again and again under the
rlm@0: mistletoe.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	Years and years later, Sakura decorated a Christmas wreath with a
rlm@0: young dark haired girl with indigo eyes. The two held hands as they
rlm@0: walked along beautiful green grass under a frosty blue sky. Sakura
rlm@0: smiled as she reached her destination. She gently set down the
rlm@0: Christmas wreath in front of the tombstone. It read:
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: ‘Tomoyo Daidouji-Kinomoto
rlm@0: Loving wife and devoted mother. Even death can’t keep us apart.
rlm@0: Please watch over us, my beautiful angel.’
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 	Sakura’s fingers lightly brushed over the inscription and the name.
rlm@0: A small tear fell unnoticed down her cheek, but a smile formed across
rlm@0: her lips. She placed a small present decorated with sakura blossoms
rlm@0: next to the tombstone.
rlm@0: The little girl placed her own present next to the tombstone before
rlm@0: taking Sakura’s hand again. “Merry Christmas, mama!” the girl said to
rlm@0: the tombstone, placing a small hand on it for a moment.
rlm@0: Sakura squeezed her daughter’s hand, her eyes still focussed on the
rlm@0: tombstone in front of her. She could almost feel Tomoyo’s soft
rlm@0: fingers brush past her cheek comfortingly. Her eyes fell closed and
rlm@0: she could swear that she could almost smell Tomoyo, could almost feel
rlm@0: the way her fingers would gently brush against her skin. “I love you,
rlm@0: Tomoyo. Merry Christmas.” 
rlm@0: