rlm@0: Dear Sakura
rlm@0: by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
rlm@0: amazonessduo@hotmail.com
rlm@0: pearsong1954@yahoo.com
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Dear Tomoyo-chan,
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Thank you so much for coming to visit! It was wonderful to see you
rlm@0: again, and to be with you. I really had such a lovely time going to
rlm@0: places in the city, and just talking about things. Tomoyo-chan, being
rlm@0: with you means so much to me. When we’re together, I feel so content,
rlm@0: as if my life is all full and doesn’t need anything else. It’s almost
rlm@0: as if you’re a missing part of me, that I’m not quite complete
rlm@0: without you. I’m sorry if sometimes I get sort of emotional. You’re
rlm@0: so kind and patient. I always feel safe around you, and sometimes I
rlm@0: guess my feelings just sort of spill out. But it’s always been such a
rlm@0: help to talk with you, because I always seem to understand things
rlm@0: better afterwards. So thank you, Tomoyo-chan, both for the trip and
rlm@0: for all the years you have been my very best friend.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: The house seems terribly empty now without my pretty designer from
rlm@0: Japan. I was going to clean up your room yesterday, but somehow I
rlm@0: just got lost there, as if your sweet presence still lingered. There
rlm@0: really wasn’t much to do, since you left everything so neat and tidy.
rlm@0: But I guess I didn’t want to change anything. Not yet, anyway. So,
rlm@0: the guest room is still Tomoyo-chan’s room. It will have to be
rlm@0: patient for your return, even though it must be very sad that you
rlm@0: have gone.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Fanren-san and I had a really nice talk over tea yesterday. It
rlm@0: seemed no matter where our conversation wandered, we always ended up
rlm@0: talking about Tomoyo-chan. She wanted to know all about you from when
rlm@0: we were growing up together. It was fun talking about all our
rlm@0: adventures with the Clow Cards, and the school projects we worked on,
rlm@0: and the field trips and just all sorts of things. When I think about
rlm@0: all we went through together, it really is quite amazing.  I tried to
rlm@0: find some pictures of you to show her, but most of them were of me,
rlm@0: or Syaoran. She was a little disappointed, and I promised to ask if
rlm@0: you might have any pictures of yourself you could send. I would be
rlm@0: happy to pay for any copies, because I would like to have them
rlm@0: myself. Fanren-san says you are an exceptional person, and anyone who
rlm@0: could capture your heart would be very fortunate, indeed. I told her
rlm@0: about your special someone, and that seemed to upset her quite a bit.
rlm@0: I almost thought she wanted to talk about something, but was keeping
rlm@0: it to herself. Anyway, we both agreed that it would be wonderful to
rlm@0: be Tomoyo-chan's true love!
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: I was helping Ieran-sama with dinner last night, and she was very
rlm@0: quiet. I thanked her for the beautiful banquet she held for you. It
rlm@0: really was an amazing feast, and I know she thinks very highly of
rlm@0: you. She looked at me, and I could tell that something was bothering
rlm@0: her. I'm not sure what. She didn't say anything, except that I was
rlm@0: cutting the cabbage too thinly. But I think that she misses you, too.
rlm@0: At dinner, she had on the prettiest jade and gold earrings. I had
rlm@0: never seen them before, and told her how nice they looked on her. She
rlm@0: looked at me for the longest time, and finally said that, "Sometimes
rlm@0: we don't notice the most beautiful things in our life." She was very
rlm@0: angry, but I'm not sure why. Maybe I messed up something else in the
rlm@0: kitchen. But after dinner I made a pot of her favorite tea, and also
rlm@0: baked some almond cookies that I know she likes. She actually smiled
rlm@0: at me when I served them, though it was sort of a sad smile. Tomoyo-
rlm@0: chan, I think maybe you are right about Ieran-sama. I know she is
rlm@0: unhappy about the marriage, but it doesn't quite feel like she
rlm@0: dislikes me. I really did think at first that she hated me. But
rlm@0: Tomoyo-chan, you wouldn't smile like that at someone you hate, would
rlm@0: you? Sometimes it almost seems that she likes me a little, just not
rlm@0: as her son's wife. I wish I knew people's hearts like Tomoyo-chan.
rlm@0: You were always so wise about people, and how they felt. If it hadn't
rlm@0: been for you, I don't think I ever would have been with Sayoran like
rlm@0: this. If it hadn't been for you and everyone telling me, I don't
rlm@0: think I ever would have known that I love him. Isn't that funny, that
rlm@0: a person can love someone and not know it until everyone points it
rlm@0: out? I guess I am pretty stupid about things sometimes. Gomenasai.   
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: I've been working on preparations for the new school year. There is
rlm@0: so much to be done when you are starting out a new quarter. There are
rlm@0: lesson plans, and assignments, and grading schemes, and you have to
rlm@0: look over the medical records and past performance of the girls to
rlm@0: figure out what they are capable of. And I never knew soccer was so
rlm@0: complicated. Playing it was a lot easier than coaching. Our season
rlm@0: starts in the spring, but I will do some practices with the team this
rlm@0: fall. I have a notebook of plays from last year, but trying to figure
rlm@0: out the diagrams with all of the X's and O's makes me sort of dizzy.
rlm@0: Little Jung-chan said she would help, because she knew all the plays
rlm@0: from her friend being on the team last year. She is a very bright
rlm@0: little girl, and really has helped me a lot as an assistant.  
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: I wasn't going to mention this, because I don't want to bother you.
rlm@0: But I have to talk about it with someone, because it still really
rlm@0: upsets me. Something funny happened with Sayoran the night after you
rlm@0: left. He was in a real bad mood, and very angry. I've noticed that
rlm@0: when he is emotional about something, he gets short-tempered and
rlm@0: moody. I guess we make sort of a funny pair, because he has trouble
rlm@0: expressing his feelings, and I have trouble knowing mine. Anyhow, we
rlm@0: sort of got into a fight again. I really, really hate that,
rlm@0: especially with him. What he said I know he didn't really mean, but
rlm@0: it still hurt to hear. I didn't want to cry, but I just couldn't help
rlm@0: it. That made him even more mad, and he was yelling about me being a
rlm@0: stupid woman and to stop crying. That's when I ran out.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:  I walked around for a long time, but just couldn't stop crying.
rlm@0: Then I noticed I had wandered into your room, and sat in the chair to
rlm@0: calm down. The moon was up, and your little quilt just glowed in the
rlm@0: beautiful, silvery light. It's odd, because it was as if you were
rlm@0: still with me in that room. Tomoyo-chan, I could feel you there,
rlm@0: comforting me and holding me close. I stopped crying, though my heart
rlm@0: still hurt terribly. Then I saw something tucked under the quilt. You
rlm@0: are going to laugh, but my first thought really was, "Oh, Tomoyo-chan
rlm@0: left some of her clothing behind. I had better fly to Tomoeda right
rlm@0: away and take it back to her!" But looking closely, I saw it was not
rlm@0: finished. Also, it didn't look like it would fit you. That is when I
rlm@0: realized it was a costume for me. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Arigato gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan. I know you meant to leave it,
rlm@0: because it was folded so neatly, and tucked into your bed so
rlm@0: carefully. It is so beautiful, even if it isn't done. I remembered
rlm@0: all the funny little costumes you made for me when we were younger,
rlm@0: and all the love that was stitched into them. Back then, I really
rlm@0: didn't understand how special they were. Now, they are all my
rlm@0: precious memories, because you made them for me. It was a beautiful
rlm@0: present, and thank you for leaving it. But the most wonderful gift I
rlm@0: have ever received was you, Tomoyo-chan. Maybe because we were so
rlm@0: close for so long I didn't know. But now that you're gone again, I
rlm@0: understand. I know the most amazing thing to happen to me wasn't the
rlm@0: Cards, or all the magic, or even marrying Sayoran-chan. It was being
rlm@0: with you.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: I fell asleep in your bed, hugging the dress you made for me. I felt
rlm@0: better in the morning, so please don't feel sad. It was almost as if
rlm@0: you were there with me, sharing sweet dreams all night long.
rlm@0: Sometimes when I think about you, I get all hanyaan. And sometimes, I
rlm@0: feel such a soothing peace that everything seems all right. Last
rlm@0: night, your gentle spirit took away all the hurt in my heart. I guess
rlm@0: this is what you meant when you said you would always be with me,
rlm@0: even when we were apart. Thank you, Tomoyo-chan.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:  
rlm@0:   
rlm@0: With all my love,
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Kinomoto Sakura
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: Dear Sakura-chan,
rlm@0: 	I was so delighted to receive your wonderful letter in the mail.
rlm@0: Now that you’re so far away, I find myself watching my videos of you
rlm@0: even more often just so I can see you again. Your letters are always
rlm@0: such a great gift because they let me know how you are doing now. I
rlm@0: can hear Sakura-chan’s voice speaking whenever I read them, as if you
rlm@0: were telling me these things in person. It’s very difficult not to
rlm@0: look around the room to spot you. I have all of your letters placed
rlm@0: carefully in the box with the eraser you gave me and your mother’s
rlm@0: bouquet and your own for safekeeping. I’m afraid I’ll need a bigger
rlm@0: box soon! Though they never stay in the box very long because I
rlm@0: reread your letters nearly as much as I watch my videos of you. They
rlm@0: have that wonderful feel of Sakura-chan that always managed to
rlm@0: entrance me so. It never mattered to me that you were a girl.
rlm@0: Everything about you was always so amazing that I couldn’t keep
rlm@0: myself from falling under your spell even if I tried. Which I would
rlm@0: never want to try anyway. Being near you, being your best friend was
rlm@0: the happiest time of my life. You bring an energetic joy to the world
rlm@0: that must be contagious. You’re the sun and the moon in my life,
rlm@0: granting your beautiful light even in the darkest of nights. I’m so
rlm@0: very glad for the time I could spend with you and I’m very grateful
rlm@0: to have been a part of your life. Now that I watch through your life
rlm@0: again, captured on videotape in the same way you captured Cards, I
rlm@0: wonder if things might have happened differently if... But no, that
rlm@0: really doesn’t matter. Like an excellently scripted shoujo manga,
rlm@0: Magical Girl Sakura-chan has managed to not only save the love of
rlm@0: everyone, but to capture the heart of the cute lead boy. I always
rlm@0: thought the romance in those manga were the best parts, so I’m happy
rlm@0: that Sakura-chan can have a fairy tale marriage. You have a beautiful
rlm@0: life, Sakura-chan. I hope the next installment is even more amazing
rlm@0: than the pieces I have in my VCR. 
rlm@0: 	Thank you so much for the exciting visit to Hong Kong. You were by
rlm@0: far the best part of it. Even with it’s beautiful scenery and places
rlm@0: to go, it still couldn’t compare to the splendor that is Sakura-chan.
rlm@0: It was a very lovely trip and I don’t know how I could ever thank you
rlm@0: for it. The memories will forever remain deep in my heart, filling me
rlm@0: with joy when I look back on them. It was like a gorgeous dream to be
rlm@0: able to see you again, to actually be a part of your new life for a
rlm@0: short while. And here I thought I would have to wait till you were
rlm@0: pregnant to come see it. Thank you again for such a lovely
rlm@0: experience. I will carry it with me always.
rlm@0: 	Now that I’m back in Japan, I find myself thinking of your smiling
rlm@0: face constantly. But that’s not very different from how I used to be,
rlm@0: so no one notices anything unusual. I told mother all about my visit
rlm@0: and she was very excited about it. It was wonderful to relive all of
rlm@0: the memories while I told her what had happened. I showed her some
rlm@0: videotape of the trip, but I really hadn’t filmed much while I was
rlm@0: there. That had surprised me because I had gone expecting to take
rlm@0: quite a bit of video sense I wouldn't be able to see you again. Ieran-
rlm@0: sama kindly gave me a videotape before I left so I was very happy
rlm@0: about that. It shows more of me than of Sakura-chan, but mother
rlm@0: didn’t seem to mind at all. She says I’m beginning to look quite a
rlm@0: bit like your mother, Sakura-chan. I can tell from some of the
rlm@0: pictures. She says that with how you and I act, we must have been
rlm@0: switched at birth. She’s still a little angry at the person in my
rlm@0: heart, but I know that she misses seeing you. You aren’t just
rlm@0: Nadeshiko’s daughter, though she was always happy about that, but
rlm@0: you’re a truly amazing person and she could see that as well as I
rlm@0: could. I know my mother would love to talk to you again. If she ever
rlm@0: says anything... Please don’t worry about her. Mother has been
rlm@0: through a lot. I know that she thinks very highly of you. She always
rlm@0: agreed with me that you were very pretty, genki, and sweet. I guess I
rlm@0: shouldn’t worry about it because you probably won’t see each other
rlm@0: again, but please know that you will always shine in her eyes as well
rlm@0: as my own. 
rlm@0: 	Thank you for keeping the room as I left it, Sakura-chan. That’s
rlm@0: very nice of you. It was such a lovely room. I think a piece of me
rlm@0: will always reside there, a part of my heart remaining in Hong Kong
rlm@0: to watch over you. But please don’t worry about keeping it as I left
rlm@0: it. Life is full of change and I’m sure the room will serve other
rlm@0: purposes someday. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back for quite a
rlm@0: while as well, so you don’t have to keep it for me. I’m so glad you
rlm@0: found the dress. I wanted to give it to you, but I didn’t know what
rlm@0: to say about it. Words can be such a difficult thing sometimes. It’s
rlm@0: so much easier when you speak your heart. Which is something that I
rlm@0: always loved about you. You always did speak your heart, even when
rlm@0: you didn’t fully understand its intentions. It was always so cute to
rlm@0: see you when you were speaking passionately about one thing or
rlm@0: another. That fiery blush of yours always matched the fiery
rlm@0: determination in your eyes, making you look almost ethereal in your
rlm@0: beauty. And you would always come through, accomplishing what you set
rlm@0: your heart to, even if it wasn’t exactly what you’d intended. Sakura-
rlm@0: chan, I’m so glad you’re married. I’m so glad that you have embarked
rlm@0: on this new voyage in your life. I wish you only the best throughout
rlm@0: it all. I hope that you can have beautiful children and that your
rlm@0: life is long and fulfilling and blessedly happy. That is my fondest
rlm@0: wish and one that I will always pray for. Even if I become nothing
rlm@0: more than a distant memory in your life, I will still pour my heart
rlm@0: into those wishes for you. Please be happy, Sakura-chan. Because even
rlm@0: this far away, I never want you to ever have to be sad. 
rlm@0: 	But back to the costume, I just didn’t think it was right to finish
rlm@0: it. I wanted your wedding dress to be the last costume I made for
rlm@0: you. It felt more fitting that way. So I apologize for leaving you
rlm@0: with a half finished costume. But I wanted you to have it. Perhaps as
rlm@0: a reminder or when you used to run around as my pretty Cardcaptor.
rlm@0: You always looked so gorgeous in the costumes, but you were what
rlm@0: brought out the beauty in them. They came alive when you wore them.
rlm@0: You were already so beautiful that the costumes were just an
rlm@0: accessory to the image. I hope you like the dress, even if it isn’t
rlm@0: finished. Please take good care of it. And yourself, Sakura-chan.  
rlm@0: 	I enclosed some pictures of myself along with another videotape to
rlm@0: help with your cooking. The recipe on this tape is a little more
rlm@0: complicated, but I made sure to explain everything as well as I could
rlm@0: in it. I’m sure by now you will be able to make it perfectly. Just
rlm@0: remember to throw in a pinch or two of love to give it a little of
rlm@0: your own touch. If you go at it with the same burning determination
rlm@0: I’ve seen in you countless times before, then I know this will taste
rlm@0: exquisite. The camera angles might be a little awkward because
rlm@0: Chiyomi (one of my bodyguards) hasn’t used a camcorder before, but
rlm@0: she’s a quick learner, so it gets much better a few minutes into it.
rlm@0: I looked around for some pictures of myself to send, but it turns out
rlm@0: that most of my pictures are of Sakura-chan. I finally went and had
rlm@0: some pictures taken and I’ve put those with the letter. Mother teased
rlm@0: me about becoming a model like your mother, but I think I’ll stick
rlm@0: with toy designing. I always enjoyed being behind the camera much
rlm@0: more than being in front of it. Like with the plays we were a part of
rlm@0: and your Card capturing, I felt much more comfortable either behind
rlm@0: the camera’s lens or working on the costumes. Even with my singing,
rlm@0: the crowds were never my favorite part. But I just loved being able
rlm@0: to pour out my feelings in song. Which is probably why I used to sing
rlm@0: to myself when I would work on your costumes. Anyway, I hope that you
rlm@0: and Fanren-san can use the pictures. Writing about this has reminded
rlm@0: me of a few pictures I carry of you in my purse. I’m looking at the
rlm@0: one I took of you holding the King Penguin statue right now. You were
rlm@0: so adorable in it!
rlm@0: 	I’m glad that you and Fanren-san could talk. She is a very
rlm@0: straightforward person, so I’m a little surprised that she didn’t
rlm@0: tell you what she meant. She helped quite a bit with the banquet and
rlm@0: my time in Hong Kong in general. She is a very warm and very kind
rlm@0: woman. I received a letter from her a short time ago which I’m going
rlm@0: to get back to tonight (I’m writing this during my lunch break.
rlm@0: Mother and I are having lunch at a very nice restaurant. She’s on her
rlm@0: cell phone right now so I decided to write back). She and I had a lot
rlm@0: to talk about. She must get her perceptiveness from her mother, even
rlm@0: if they don’t act much alike. I would say she’s like the older sister
rlm@0: I never had, but I don’t think she’d like the example. That doesn’t
rlm@0: exactly fit either. I’m very glad that she and I managed to talk
rlm@0: while I was there. 
rlm@0: 	Yes, the person I love is an extremely amazing person. I’m very
rlm@0: happy that everything has worked out for them. I’ve come to a few
rlm@0: difficult decisions lately. I don’t think I’m going to see them
rlm@0: anymore, Sakura-chan. I love them so much that being around them is
rlm@0: almost overwhelming. Being a part of their life and watching them in
rlm@0: love is very difficult. I should be happy for them. And I am happy
rlm@0: for them. But part of my heart longs for them terribly at times. If I
rlm@0: stay in their life, I think it will be too much for me. I don’t think
rlm@0: I could handle it. And if they find out my feelings, then it will
rlm@0: ruin things. Both their memories of me and the life they have now. So
rlm@0: I’m going to quietly slip from their life. I will always love them
rlm@0: with every bit of my heart and soul, but I don’t think I can stay any
rlm@0: longer. It’s a very painful decision, but I think it’s all I can do
rlm@0: now. I will always have my memories of this wonderful person. And one
rlm@0: day I would like to be their guardian angel, to watch over them as
rlm@0: they continue forward in their life. 
rlm@0: 	I know that Ieran-sama can seem a bit harsh and distant at times,
rlm@0: but she is a very loving woman. She wants what is best for her family
rlm@0: and for those she cares about. You have to remember that she intended
rlm@0: for Li-kun to marry Meiling-chan. And with the structure of the Li
rlm@0: Clan and life in Hong Kong, that has caused her some difficulty. And
rlm@0: aside from that, she has other concerns as well. I talked to her for
rlm@0: a bit and it seems that she worries quite a bit about you. But she
rlm@0: doesn’t hate you, Sakura-chan. I can’t think of anyone who could ever
rlm@0: hate you. I think she’s merely concerned about you. As time goes by,
rlm@0: I’m sure she will warm up to you as a member of her family. Li-kun
rlm@0: was always afraid of her, but his sisters seem to think of her very
rlm@0: differently. Sense you are Li-kun’s wife, you are placed in a similar
rlm@0: position to Li-kun. But as time goes by, I’m sure that the two of you
rlm@0: will grow much closer. She seems to have a very loving relationship
rlm@0: with her daughters. In time I believe she will come to see you as one
rlm@0: of them. 	By the way, how is Meiling-chan doing? The last I had seen
rlm@0: of her was at the banquet. I hope that she is doing better now. She
rlm@0: must still be upset about Li-kun. I can understand, even if she and I
rlm@0: took different paths in regards to the ones we love. She reminds me a
rlm@0: bit of my mother, so I worry about her. Both are very strong,
rlm@0: outspoken women who let their emotions show through easily. That also
rlm@0: worries me about you, Sakura-chan. I know how angry my mother is with
rlm@0: your father and I don’t want Meiling-chan to be that angry with you. 
rlm@0: 	The new school year must be very busy for you, especially if you’ll
rlm@0: be doing cheerleading as well as your normal classes. But I’m very
rlm@0: excited about it, even if I won’t be seeing it. The thought of Sakura-
rlm@0: chan teaching talented young girls about cheerleading warms my heart.
rlm@0: I always loved watching you when you were in your cute little
rlm@0: cheerleading uniform, practicing all sorts of moves and chants. The
rlm@0: little show your girls put on for me was amazing. It reminded me of
rlm@0: all the wonderful things you used to do. I’ll have to go watch my
rlm@0: videotape of you cheerleading when I get home. I’m sure that with
rlm@0: Jung-chan’s help everything will flow nicely. Her interest in soccer
rlm@0: is probably based on her friend, but my interest in cheerleading was
rlm@0: based on you, so I’m sure she paid plenty of attention to what her
rlm@0: friend did, at the very least. Please be careful with her, Sakura-
rlm@0: chan. I think she’s very much in love herself. I’m very glad that
rlm@0: you’ve been keeping an eye out for her. I think she may need it,
rlm@0: especially as time goes by. 
rlm@0: 	Oh, Sakura-chan, I am so sorry that you got into another fight with
rlm@0: Li-kun! I feel so awful every time the two of you argue. And I’m
rlm@0: afraid that this might be my fault. I know that Li-kun can get very
rlm@0: jealous about things, like with you and your brother when it came to
rlm@0: Yukito and Eriol-kun when it came to you. I noticed that the two of
rlm@0: you didn’t spend much time together during my visit. You see Li-kun
rlm@0: everyday, but this had been the first time you had seen me in quite
rlm@0: some time, so it made sense that you would spend time with me. But he
rlm@0: must have felt like I was trying to take you away from him or that I
rlm@0: was wasting all of your time. I’m very sorry, Sakura-chan. I never
rlm@0: wanted to cause any trouble for the two of you. I can send him an
rlm@0: apology if you would like. I want the two of you to be as happy as
rlm@0: possible. I don’t want there to be any waves in your beautiful
rlm@0: marriage. I’m very glad that I could help, even if I wasn’t there.
rlm@0: You’re very important to me, Sakura-chan. You’ll always be in my
rlm@0: thoughts and in my heart. I wish I could have been there with you,
rlm@0: holding you all night long. But I’m glad your dress was there
rlm@0: instead. Even if it’s unfinished, it’s still filled with love and
rlm@0: care. 
rlm@0: 	I’m so happy to hear you say that I was the most wonderful gift you
rlm@0: have received. That makes my heart sing and makes me feel so warm
rlm@0: inside. Thank you so very much, Sakura-chan. Meeting you was the best
rlm@0: thing that has ever happened to me. You were a sparkling angel in my
rlm@0: life that lit my life with the brightness of your heart. I could
rlm@0: never forget you or imagine a life without the fond memories that you
rlm@0: have bestowed upon me. Sakura-chan, thank you for being a part of my
rlm@0: life. Thank you for all of the wonderful moments that I can dream
rlm@0: about. Thank you for being you, Sakura-chan. Even if we’re far apart,
rlm@0: even if our letters suddenly stopped, I will always be with you.
rlm@0: Because my heart will always call out to you. 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: You friend forever,
rlm@0: Daidouji Tomoyo
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: