rlm@0: Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of their respective owners (CLAMP...etc.). rlm@0: The song is by Lonestar and the lyrics belong to the songwriters. PLEASE do not post my fan fics without my rlm@0: permission! rlm@0: rlm@0: Songfic: Smile rlm@0: by samuraiheart rlm@0: rlm@0: Notes: This is from Tomoyo's point of view. The song lyrics are in italics rlm@0: rlm@0: rlm@0: rlm@0: I still remember the night we met rlm@0: You said you loved my smile rlm@0: rlm@0: I've known Sakura for so long. I can't imagine what my world would be like without her. Somehow I always imagined we'd be rlm@0: together forever. I love her very much and I hope she understands that. I've told her a thousand times in the way I look at her, rlm@0: the things I say to her, the things I do for her and the way I smile. She's always loved my smile. rlm@0: rlm@0: But your love for me was like a summer breeze rlm@0: Oh it lasted for a while rlm@0: rlm@0: We went through so much together as she fought to save the world from disaster. I was always there by her side - cheering her rlm@0: on. I cherish every moment I've spent in her presence. It's a shame that videotape can't always capture it all, but I remember. I rlm@0: could never forget - the thrill of being near Sakura just for a few moments is enough to last a lifetime. It is enough for me just to rlm@0: have those memories. At least I can keep telling myself that. I know a part of her will always love me even if she never says it. rlm@0: We are best friends and we can never lose that special bond. It's hard for me to admit that it will never grow into more than rlm@0: that. rlm@0: rlm@0: I could hold on a little tighter I know rlm@0: But when you love someone rlm@0: You gotta let em go rlm@0: rlm@0: I know she loves Shaolan and I don't want to stand in her way. I want her to be happy more than anything else and I know rlm@0: they belong together. Sakura promises me that we will never lose touch and I believe her. I would follow her to the ends of the rlm@0: earth to make sure of it. I will always be the one she can come to when she needs a friend. Her friendship means so much to rlm@0: me that I can push aside my broken heart so she won't see the tears. rlm@0: rlm@0: So I'm gonna smile rlm@0: Cause I wanna make you happy rlm@0: Laugh so you can't see me cry rlm@0: I'm gonna let you go in style rlm@0: And even if it kills me rlm@0: I'm gonna smile rlm@0: rlm@0: I smile when I see them together. I can't help it. Making Sakura happy matters more to me than any ache in my own soul. I can rlm@0: shed my tears alone in the darkness, but I can never let Sakura see. Mine are tears of emptiness and loneliness, but not rlm@0: sadness. I am happy for Sakura and I smile so that she will know this. I want nothing more than to make Sakura happy and I rlm@0: don't think could live with myself if I was ever responsible for a single tear on her beautiful cheek. I know that if I told her how rlm@0: much I loved her she would have to make a horrible choice and I'm not sure I could live with her decision. It's better this way. rlm@0: I can hold it inside and she can go on with her life. rlm@0: rlm@0: Kiss me once for the good times baby rlm@0: Kiss me twice for goodbye rlm@0: rlm@0: I stand before her now not sure what to do. I must say goodbye and let go of all my hopes and dreams. It's just another day to rlm@0: her. We will see each other tomorrow at school she reminds me as I struggle with the word goodbye. My voice cracks and rlm@0: shakes a little. Yes. I know I say, but my thoughts echo with the words it will never be the same. I blink back tears and hope rlm@0: she doesn't notice. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I know I have to do it for her. Everything I do is for her. rlm@0: As she turns away a sudden impulse hits me and I shout "SAKURA!" She turns around and looks at me puzzled. I run to her rlm@0: and throw my arms around her hugging her tightly. She returns the hug as I whisper in her ear "thanks for everything" Sakura rlm@0: pauses for a moment as our eyes meet. I try to hide my sadness, but I see my reflection in her sparkling eyes. For a moment I rlm@0: wonder if she understands as she kisses me softly on the cheek. "Goodbye Tomoyo... I'll see you in school." Two hands part rlm@0: and mine remains outstretched reaching for something I can never have. rlm@0: rlm@0: You can't help how you don't feel rlm@0: And it doesn't matter why rlm@0: Give me a chance to bow out gracefully rlm@0: Cause that's how I want you to remember me rlm@0: rlm@0: I watch her walk away and let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding in. This is for the best, I remind myself. We will rlm@0: always be friends and I will always be hers even if she can't be mine. rlm@0: rlm@0: I'm gonna smile rlm@0: Cause I wanna make you happy rlm@0: Laugh so you can't see me cry rlm@0: I'm gonna let you go in style rlm@0: And Even if it kills me rlm@0: I'm gonna smile rlm@0: rlm@0: At the end of the street she turns around. At first I am embarrassed that I am still standing there, but my patience earns me a rlm@0: precious gift as Sakura smiles brightly and waves at me before turning around and rushing home. I smile and return the wave. rlm@0: The image will stay with me always as an unspoken acceptance of my hidden promise to her. I will always love you, but you rlm@0: must find your own love. Go and be happy Sakura. You deserve it more than anyone else in this world. More than me. rlm@0: rlm@0: I'm gonna smile rlm@0: So you can find the courage rlm@0: Laugh so you won't see me hurting rlm@0: I'm gonna let you go in style rlm@0: And even if it kills me rlm@0: I'm gonna smile rlm@0: rlm@0: Please ignore the tears on my cheeks because I am smiling.