rlm@0: "I'll have to say I love you in a song"
rlm@0:     by Sara Jaye
rlm@0:         SaraJNES@aol.com
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     Wow, who'd have thought my first ever CCS fic would be a songfic? :P But
rlm@0: that's what it is. In honor of Valentine's Day, I decided to make my writing
rlm@0: debut with a short, sweet little songfic. It's a Sakura/Tomoyo story *ducks
rlm@0: flames from Sakura/Syaoran fans*, and it's mostly from Tomoyo's point of
rlm@0: view. Well, the song is at least, until the last few lines. After that, it
rlm@0: switches to Sakura's. Parts from Tomoyo's point of view are encased in
rlm@0: {}'s.
rlm@0:     I used the song "I'll have to say I love you in a song", by Jim Croce.
rlm@0: Sorry if it's such an obscure one. ^^; I just thought it fit rather well.
rlm@0:     All lyrics are encased in *'s.
rlm@0:     I've never really seen CCS before, and only know a little about the
rlm@0: manga. So I'm not sure of the time period the storyline covers. In this
rlm@0: story, Sakura and Tomoyo are 13, but Syaoran and Sakura are (supposedly)
rlm@0: falling for one another. So if I got any timeline or story elements wrong,
rlm@0: please let me know.
rlm@0:     Anyways, I think that's enough for the author's notes, ne? :P Now, on
rlm@0: with the story! ^_^
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: [Disclaimers: CCS, Sakura, Tomoyo, and Syaoran are not mine, the belong to
rlm@0: CLAMP. This story is for entertainment purposes, so please don't sue me.
rlm@0: "I'll have to say I love you in a song" is the property of the late, great
rlm@0: Jim Croce.
rlm@0: This is a yuri fanfiction, meaning love between 2 girls. If you are either
rlm@0: (a) homophobic and offended/bothered by this kind of thing or (b) a
rlm@0: Sakura/Syaoran fan, I suggest you leave now, as you will definitely not like
rlm@0: this. If you read this and are outraged/disturbed/etc, please do not blame
rlm@0: me. :P But if none of the above apply to you, enjoy! ^_^]
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:                 ~
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *Well, I know it's kind of late,
rlm@0: I hope I didn't wake you.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {I hate to call this late. I know you're probably asleep and would hate
rlm@0: to disturb you or anyone else in the house. So if I did, gomen nasai.}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *But what I got to say can't wait,
rlm@0: I know you'd understand.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {I just really needed to tell you this. It's been driving me crazy for
rlm@0: the longest time and if I put it off any longer, it's sure to kill me. But
rlm@0: you'll probably understand. You've always been so sweet...among many other
rlm@0: things.}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *Every time I tried to tell you
rlm@0: The words just came out wrong.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {I've tried to say this to you several times, but no matter how hard I
rlm@0: tried, the words always got caught in my throat. And when I did manage to say
rlm@0: something, it always came out wrong, like "I love that color on you", or
rlm@0: "You're very important to me". Even if those things are true...they're not
rlm@0: what I wanted to say.}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {What I'm trying to say, and what I've been trying to say for all this
rlm@0: time is...I love you, Sakura-chan. I always have, and I always will.}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *Yeah, I know it's kind of strange,
rlm@0: But every time I'm near you,
rlm@0: I just run out of things to say.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {It's so strange. I'm usually so cheerful and talkative around people,
rlm@0: and you've always been the shy one. Yet every time we're together, this shy,
rlm@0: awkward feeling comes over me and I get so...tongue-tied. I don't know what
rlm@0: to say...}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *I know you'd understand.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {So you'll probably understand what I'm saying...or at least I hope.}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *Every time I tried to tell you
rlm@0: The words just came out wrong.
rlm@0: So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {People always say that it's better to confess something like this in
rlm@0: person. But since I obviously can't do that, I've got to tell you over the
rlm@0: phone. In this message. I just hope nobody else hears this before you do,
rlm@0: Sakura.}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *(Guitar solo)*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {I can't believe it's come down to this, though...having to tell you my
rlm@0: true feelings in an answering machine message. Were the little messages I've
rlm@0: been sending for awhile not getting through? If that's the case...I'm not
rlm@0: surprised. I love you more than life itself, and I hate to say anything
rlm@0: negative about you...but you can be so dense sometimes, Sakura-chan. I know
rlm@0: you've got other important things to worry about, but still...*sigh* Maybe
rlm@0: it's my fault...maybe I'm being too subtle.
rlm@0:     And the sad thing is...even if you had been able to pick up on the hints,
rlm@0: I know you couldn't feel the same way towards me as I feel towards you. I
rlm@0: know you already have someone...I know you're slowly falling in love with
rlm@0: Syaoran. But that is okay. I want you to be happy above all else, and if he
rlm@0: makes you happy, then I hope you 2 get together. I want only the best for
rlm@0: you, Sakura-chan. You deserve it.}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *Every time the time was right,
rlm@0: All the words just came out wrong.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {*sigh* Even when the moment was just perfect, I always managed to
rlm@0: freeze...or he came by...sometimes I feel so frustrated. Why does something
rlm@0: that should be as simple as this have to be so hard to say? Why?}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {As long as you get this message, I'll be satisfied. I just hope...you
rlm@0: don't feel any differently towards me...}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *Yeah, I know it's kind of late,
rlm@0: I hope I didn't wake you.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     {Again, if I woke you or your family, gomen nasai. I'll go
rlm@0: now...Goodnight, Sakura-chan. Sleep well. *voice breaks a little* I love you.
rlm@0: *hangs up*}
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *But there's something that I just got to say.
rlm@0: I know you'd understand.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     I sneak dowstairs to the answering machine. I could've sworn Tomoyo just
rlm@0: left me a message...but why? Could I just be imagining things? I walk to the
rlm@0: table where the machine rests, and the light is flashing. Someone did leave a
rlm@0: message. I press the "Play" button and listen.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0: *Every time I tried to tell you
rlm@0: The words just came out wrong.
rlm@0: So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     By the time the message is over, I can't even blink. Did I actually hear
rlm@0: this? Tomoyo loves me? I must be dreaming...I pinch myself just to be
rlm@0: sure...this seems so unreal.
rlm@0:     "Ow!" I wince. I'm not dreaming. And now I feel guilty, rather stupid,
rlm@0: and relieved. She does love me...
rlm@0:     I can't say that I was wishing the exact same thing the whole time. Until
rlm@0: recently, I only thought of her as my best friend. But lately, I'd been
rlm@0: noticing her in a different light...for the first time, I'm seeing just how
rlm@0: wonderful she really is...how beautiful she looks, especially in the
rlm@0: moonlight on a clear, starry night. And just how much she means to me. But
rlm@0: I've also had feelings for Syaoran, so I was confused.
rlm@0:     'Not anymore,' I think. Quietly, I go back up to my room. I slip on my
rlm@0: shoes and jacket, then open the window and climb out. For a minute I consider
rlm@0: using the power of the Clow cards and flying to her house, but decide not to.
rlm@0: It'd be too risky. Shivering, I quickly walk to Tomoyo's house.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     Standing outside, I gaze into her window. It's dark, and the blinds are
rlm@0: drawn almost all the way. She's probably asleep...I consider going back and
rlm@0: just leaving her a message. 'No,' I tell myself. 'You owe it to both her and
rlm@0: yourself to tell her in person.' I sigh, then pick up a tiny pebble and throw
rlm@0: it up at her window, hoping not to wake her mother or her bodyguards. As I
rlm@0: see her get out of bed and walk to the window, I feel my heart pounding in my
rlm@0: chest. 'Please understand, Tomoyo-chan,' I pray.
rlm@0:     "Sakura-chan?" she yawns, rubbing her eyes and looking very surprised to
rlm@0: see me. "Hi...can I talk to you?" I ask shyly. She nods, tossing a rope out
rlm@0: the window. I climb up as fast as I can, then practically fall into the room,
rlm@0: shivering.
rlm@0:     "You must be freezing," she says sympathetically, and wraps a blanket
rlm@0: around my shoulders. "Thanks," I whisper. She smiles. "No problem," she says,
rlm@0: settling down next to me on the bed. The next few minutes are silent.
rlm@0:     "What did you want to talk to me about?" she asks. I take a deep breath,
rlm@0: then look at her. "I got your message." She blushes, and almost looks
rlm@0: panicked.
rlm@0:     "You did?" she nearly cries out. I nod. "I see..." She looks down.
rlm@0:     "And?"
rlm@0:     "And...now I understand. And I'm very sorry for not seeing it
rlm@0: before...for not picking up on your hints, and for not realizing I felt the
rlm@0: same way." She blinks.
rlm@0:     "You mean...?" I nod. My heart beats faster, and I can barely get the
rlm@0: words out. But somehow, I manage.
rlm@0:     "Aishiteru, Tomoyo-chan," I whispered. For a minute, she doesn't answer.
rlm@0: Then she turns to me, her eyes shiny and that beautiful smile spreading
rlm@0: across her face.
rlm@0:     "Sakura-chan..." she whispers. Several tears of joy run down her cheeks.
rlm@0: I reach up and gently brush them away with my fingertips, then take her in my
rlm@0: arms. "I-I just can't believe this...I never thought you could feel the same
rlm@0: way," she chokes. I look into her eyes, my own sparkling with happiness.
rlm@0:     "I only wish I'd known my own feelings sooner," I whisper. She smiles and
rlm@0: snuggles closer.
rlm@0:     "It's okay. I'm just happy I finally told you," she sighs. "I love you so
rlm@0: much...finding out you feel the same way is just...more than I ever dreamed
rlm@0: possible." Then she looked a little concerned. "What about Syaoran?" she
rlm@0: asked.
rlm@0:     "He's just a good friend. I thought I loved him, but it was only a
rlm@0: schoolgirl crush," I told her. We gaze into each other's eyes. She wraps her
rlm@0: arms around my chest, looking deliriously happy.
rlm@0:     "I love you, Sakura-chan," she whispers.
rlm@0:     "And I love you." I lean my head in slightly, as does she. Our eyes
rlm@0: close, and our lips slowly meet.
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:                 ~End~
rlm@0: 
rlm@0:     Wow, that was a bit longer than I expected! ^^ But it was pretty damn fun
rlm@0: to write. Sakura and Tomoyo are just too cute. ^-^
rlm@0: Well, that's all for now. I dunno when I'll actually write my next CCS fic,
rlm@0: but I hope I can soon. ^^
rlm@0:     Till then, ja ne! ^_^