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date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 Tomoyo and the Visitor
2 A Tomoyo and Sakura Story
3 By G. P.
4 Please send comments to: treeandleaf2002@yahoo.com
6 Note: all names and characters are property of CLAMP. This story is
7 in no way meant to infringe on their intellectual property rights.
9 I.
10 Tomoyo first heard it while reading in the garden: a faint shuffling
11 noise by the big beech tree. She rose and walked over, looking for
12 the source of the sound. Then it moved, a small feathery body
13 flopping in the short grass. Leaning over, she saw a little orange-
14 brown bird with black wings, not quite a fledgling, cheeping in
15 fright. She looked up into the leafy branches of the tree, shading
16 her lavender eyes from the midday sun, but could see no nest.
17 Kneeling, Tomoyo undid the blue ribbon of her straw bonnet and used
18 it to deftly scoop up the tiny creature. It was noisy, active, and
19 did not seem to be hurt. Gazing at the lost little bird, she felt an
20 odd kinship. Smiling, she whispered,
22 “You almost look ready to fly. I’ll ask Mother if you can stay until
23 you’re ready.”
25 Cradling the bonnet, she walked to the house and opened the massive
26 front door. Her footsteps echoed as she walked the long hallway to
27 the stairs. Bounding into her room, she placed bird and bonnet on her
28 dresser and pulled up a chair. As she contemplated the tiny creature,
29 it regarded at her with large, watchful eyes. Then it began to chirp,
30 moving about in the bonnet, eyes fixed on Tomoyo, who said to herself,
32 “You’re hungry, aren’t you? First let me see just what you are, and
33 then we’ll see what you want to eat”.
35 With a smile she rushed downstairs to the library, and rushed back
36 clutching her Firudo Gaido Nihon no Yacho, A Field Guide to the Birds
37 of Japan. Looking at the bird, half expecting it to be gone, she
38 scanned the colored plates to try and identify it
40 "It's a hawfinch, cocothraustes cocothraustes, of the Fringillidae
41 family". Tomoyo carefully sounded out the difficult Latin words.
42 "Your name is bigger than you are", Tomoyo giggled to herself. She
43 read on, "‘they are shy birds, spending most of their time hidden in
44 the treetops eating seeds and caterpillars'. I guess grubs would be
45 OK for you. I'll be right back!" She flew downstairs, to beg one of
46 the guards to take her to the pet shop. Already, she was in love with
47 it.
49 II.
50 The next day Tomoyo, practically beaming, asked Sakura during lunch,
51 "Would you like to come to my house after school? There's something I
52 wanted to show you".
54 Sakura, intrigued, nodded her head and replied, "Sure. Let me call
55 my Father to see if it's OK. I don't have any chores today".
57 After homeroom was dismissed, Sakura walked out with her friend and
58 saw a single, darkly garbed bodyguard standing by the black Cadillac.
59 The guard opened the back door, bowing low, her long, brown hair
60 hanging straight down. When Sakura clambered in, she was surprised by
61 the roominess of the car's interior. As the car sped away, she turned
62 to Tomoyo and said,
64 "What did you want to show me?"
66 Tomoyo smiled broadly, "You'll see"
68 Tomoyo glanced at her friend, delighted by her intense curiosity.
69 Tomoyo loved surprises, and the sweet anticipation they caused. She
70 snuggled into the plush seat, thought about Sakura, and the hawfinch,
71 and felt a wonderful glow.
74 III.
75 Sakura gazed at the little bird, hopping merrily in its large,
76 silver cage. Her eyes widened as she exclaimed,
78 "Kawaii! Tomoyo-chan, it is sooooo cute!"
80 Tomoyo tilted her head and smiled brightly as Sakura asked, "Did you
81 give it a name yet?"
83 Tomoyo shook her head no, and in a conspiratorial whisper, as if the
84 young bird would be embarrassed to hear such a thing, answered,
86 "I don't know if it's a boy or a girl".
88 Puzzled, Sakura blurted out,
90 "How can you tell?"
92 Tomoyo blushed and looked at the floor, whispering,
94 "I...I don't really know"
96 Sakura, realizing what she was asking, blushed, hid the nervous
97 giggle behind her hand and whispered,
99 "S..sorry"
101 Tomoyo looked up, all smiles, took her hand, and asked.
103 "Would you like some tea?"
105 And the two girls raced down together to the massive kitchen.
108 IV.
110 Over the next week, Tomoyo spent hours with the little bird. She
111 sketched it, painted it, carefully weighed and measured it's food,
112 cleaned the cage, and overall attended it with more care than the
113 most doting of mothers. Most of all, she loved to just sit and watch
114 as the hawfinch explored it's cage, played with the little golden
115 bell she bought, and gamely tested its wings in a flurry of flapping.
116 She knew it would be ready to fly soon, and though she would miss her
117 companion, she grew excited at the thought of the fledging soaring
118 into the vast, open sky. After a nearly-rushed dinner, she excused
119 herself to go to bed, ran upstairs, and burst through the bedroom
120 door. There, she found the bird dead.
122 At first, she thought it asleep, though in an odd, twisted posture.
123 But looking closely, she realized it had suddenly, inexplicably died.
124 Staring, she put her hand to her heart and felt her legs weakening.
125 It couldn't be...it had been gaily hopping and chirping just before
126 dinner. With a shaking hand she opened the door to the cage and, with
127 a slender finger, lightly nudged the warm, stiff lump, which slid
128 slightly on the bottom of the cage. She turned away, stunned,
129 sickened, her eyesight graying on the periphery, as she felt queasy
130 and faint. Just then, the phone rang.
132 She reeled backwards, mechanically reaching for the pink cell phone
133 and holding it to her ear.
135 Sakura stood puzzled when the phone was picked up with no greeting.
137 "Hello? Tomoyo-chan?"
139 Silence.
141 "Tomoyo-chan, are you there? Are you all right?"
143 Trembling, Tomoyo exclaimed in a rush,
145 "Sakura-chan it's dead I...I… oh Sakura-chan I'm sorry it's all
146 right don't worry it's all right it's..."
147 Tomoyo broke off in a fit of sobbing.
149 "Tomoyo-chan, what's the matter, are you all right?" Sakura shouted
150 out as the phone went dead.
152 Tomoyo sat on her bed; fists clenched into tight little balls,
153 weeping hysterically. It was so young, just ready to fly. Why? Why
154 did it die now? Why, with a whole life ahead of it, why did it have
155 to die? Before it could even fly it was dead. The overwhelming
156 unfairness of it all staggered her. She sat crying, unheard in the
157 vast, empty house. Unable to move or see through her tears, she only
158 barely heard the frantic pounding on her window. Turning, she saw
159 Sakura perched on the ledge outside her room, wings disappearing from
160 her staff as she prepared to break through the glass. The sight of
161 the auburn-haired girl threw Tomoyo into a blind panic. She rushed to
162 the window and opened it carefully, taking Sakura by the hand as she
163 stepped into the room. By habit she smiled brightly, but the words
164 wouldn't come, and the tears wouldn't stop.
166 Sakura beheld her friend in fear and wonder. Never, ever had she
167 seen Tomoyo like this. Always cheerful, always composed and never,
168 ever sad, the dark-haired girl looked shattered as her smile
169 dissolved in a renewed flood of tears. She turned away from Sakura,
170 arms flailing as if to ward her off. Hysterically she begged,
172 "Sakura-chan go away please go away I'm sorry please please please!"
174 Tomoyo shut her eyes tightly as a tempest of emotions raged inside
175 her. The sudden death of the little bird still tore at her in a raw,
176 uncontrollable grief. But for Sakura to see her like this was even
177 worse. Never, ever had she allowed Sakura even a glimpse of her
178 private sorrow, or of the passionate love that lay unrequited for so
179 long. She had dedicated herself to her beautiful friend, and vowed
180 never to burden her beloved with her own sadness or longing. And if
181 most of the time her joy at just being with Sakura was genuine, it
182 was sometimes a mask to hide her own hurt, and protect the precious
183 happiness of her one, true love. But now, she had hurt Sakura through
184 her grief for the bird. Struggle as she might, the little creature's
185 death was a pain she could not still, a bitter cup that overflowed
186 and spilled over. Her mask shattered, she felt naked and ashamed and
187 alone. Better she were dead than this.
189 Sakura stood with her arms at her side, utterly helpless as Tomoyo
190 huddled in the corner. The sight was wrenching, and Sakura was at a
191 loss. Glancing about the room, she saw the door of the silver
192 birdcage open, and the motionless, feathered form within. Looking at
193 her still sobbing friend she understood, and felt her own heart break
194 for Tomoyo's loss. And if she did not comprehend all of Tomoyo's
195 grief, or it's secret cause (which was Sakura herself), she knew
196 enough to run to her love and enfold her in her arms.
198 "I'm so sorry, Tomoyo-chan. I'm so sorry it had to die."
200 Tomoyo felt the warm presence wrapped around her, melting the icy
201 pain in a passionate, loving hug. On her cheek the warm wet of her
202 tears mingled with Sakura's own as her friend held her tightly.
203 Sakura's love cut through the haze of guilt and shame like a fiery
204 sword. Tomoyo turned and shifted, laying her head on Sakura's
205 shoulder, hugging her tightly. How strange it was that she felt such
206 comfort here in the arms of her love, when seconds ago the mere
207 presence of the girl had thrown her into a horrified frenzy. Her iron
208 guard for once lowered, she gave herself up to the sadness, and
209 softly wept for the little bird. As the shadows of night covered them
210 they lay in a bittersweet embrace, hearts beating together till sleep
211 stole their pain away.
213 Tomoyo awoke to the twittering of birds, and bright sunlight
214 streaming through the open window. She smiled to find Sakura in her
215 arms, still asleep. She remembered the hurt of the bird's death, and
216 felt the echo of grief deep inside. But Sakura's magic was not only
217 in the Cards, for she had blessed Tomoyo with the solace of her love.
218 As the dark lashes fluttered, Tomoyo kissed her tenderly on the
219 forehead. Waking, she smiled, and then looked at Tomoyo with sudden
220 concern. But Tomoyo smiled back and whispered,
222 "I'm OK now. Thank you, Sakura-chan. Thank you so much."
224 Sakura gazed into the deep blue eyes and then smiled again. Slowly
225 the two rose, slightly stiff from sleeping on the floor. Sakura
226 looked at the window, and the sun, and froze.
228 "Hoeee, what if oniichan goes to wake me up for breakfast?"
230 Tomoyo giggled, and whispered, "You’d better go."
232 Sakura looked at her uncertainly.
234 "Smiling, Tomoyo said, "I'm all right, really. It's still a little
235 sad, but I'm all right."
237 Sakura looked wistfully at her friend and hugged her tightly. She
238 looked out the window and saw a bank of low clouds that would hide
239 her flight home. With another hug they parted, and Sakura flew
240 through the window as Tomoyo watched in awe. Then, turning with a
241 sigh, she looked at the cage, and wondered what to do.
243 Her Mother, home for a rare weekend without work, sensibly placed
244 the hawfinch in a plastic bag and put it in the refrigerator. Tomoyo
245 made the preparations, starting with a small pouch. She was unsteady
246 in needlepoint, but her Mother helped with the more complex stitches.
247 She talked on the phone with Sakura several times that day,
248 reassuring her that things were fine. As they worked, Tomoyo asked
249 her mother in an anguished voice why something so sweet and innocent
250 had to die before it had even flown. For a long time, Sonomi sat
251 silent as she worked the needle and thread. Finally, she looked up
252 and said,
254 " I asked that when Nadesico was dying. I asked her. Through all the
255 pain she smiled at me and said,
257 'But Sonomi-chan, we're just visitors here. We can't stay forever' “
259 The two sat in silence while Sonomi cut and tied the last thread and
260 held up the finished work.
262 "There, all done."
264 At sunset, Tomoyo gently took the little bird from the bag and
265 wrapped it in a white silk scarf. Placing the cold, enshrouded body
266 in the pouch, she took a small shovel from the tool shed and dug a
267 little hole under the tree. Kneeling, she carefully laid the pouch in
268 the warm earth and looked one last time at the design, a needlepoint
269 hawfinch soaring through a cloudless sky. Then she patted the dirt
270 down and stood with lowered head and folded hands. With eyes closed,
271 she thanked the little visitor, and begged it to find peace here
272 under the beech tree. Turning, the little girl left the gathering
273 dark to go find her mother, and to cry.