Dear Sakura

 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.

 amazonessduo@hotmail.com

 pearsong1954@yahoo.com

 

 

 Dear Tomoyo-chan,

 

 Thank you so much for coming to visit! It was wonderful to see you

 again, and to be with you. I really had such a lovely time going to

 places in the city, and just talking about things. Tomoyo-chan, being

 with you means so much to me. When we’re together, I feel so content,

 as if my life is all full and doesn’t need anything else. It’s almost

 as if you’re a missing part of me, that I’m not quite complete

 without you. I’m sorry if sometimes I get sort of emotional. You’re

 so kind and patient. I always feel safe around you, and sometimes I

 guess my feelings just sort of spill out. But it’s always been such a

 help to talk with you, because I always seem to understand things

 better afterwards. So thank you, Tomoyo-chan, both for the trip and

 for all the years you have been my very best friend.

 

 The house seems terribly empty now without my pretty designer from

 Japan. I was going to clean up your room yesterday, but somehow I

 just got lost there, as if your sweet presence still lingered. There

 really wasn’t much to do, since you left everything so neat and tidy.

 But I guess I didn’t want to change anything. Not yet, anyway. So,

 the guest room is still Tomoyo-chan’s room. It will have to be

 patient for your return, even though it must be very sad that you

 have gone.

 

 Fanren-san and I had a really nice talk over tea yesterday. It

 seemed no matter where our conversation wandered, we always ended up

 talking about Tomoyo-chan. She wanted to know all about you from when

 we were growing up together. It was fun talking about all our

 adventures with the Clow Cards, and the school projects we worked on,

 and the field trips and just all sorts of things. When I think about

 all we went through together, it really is quite amazing.  I tried to

 find some pictures of you to show her, but most of them were of me,

 or Syaoran. She was a little disappointed, and I promised to ask if

 you might have any pictures of yourself you could send. I would be

 happy to pay for any copies, because I would like to have them

 myself. Fanren-san says you are an exceptional person, and anyone who

 could capture your heart would be very fortunate, indeed. I told her

 about your special someone, and that seemed to upset her quite a bit.

 I almost thought she wanted to talk about something, but was keeping

 it to herself. Anyway, we both agreed that it would be wonderful to

 be Tomoyo-chan's true love!

 

 I was helping Ieran-sama with dinner last night, and she was very

 quiet. I thanked her for the beautiful banquet she held for you. It

 really was an amazing feast, and I know she thinks very highly of

 you. She looked at me, and I could tell that something was bothering

 her. I'm not sure what. She didn't say anything, except that I was

 cutting the cabbage too thinly. But I think that she misses you, too.

 At dinner, she had on the prettiest jade and gold earrings. I had

 never seen them before, and told her how nice they looked on her. She

 looked at me for the longest time, and finally said that, "Sometimes

 we don't notice the most beautiful things in our life." She was very

 angry, but I'm not sure why. Maybe I messed up something else in the

 kitchen. But after dinner I made a pot of her favorite tea, and also

 baked some almond cookies that I know she likes. She actually smiled

 at me when I served them, though it was sort of a sad smile. Tomoyo-

 chan, I think maybe you are right about Ieran-sama. I know she is

 unhappy about the marriage, but it doesn't quite feel like she

 dislikes me. I really did think at first that she hated me. But

 Tomoyo-chan, you wouldn't smile like that at someone you hate, would

 you? Sometimes it almost seems that she likes me a little, just not

 as her son's wife. I wish I knew people's hearts like Tomoyo-chan.

 You were always so wise about people, and how they felt. If it hadn't

 been for you, I don't think I ever would have been with Sayoran like

 this. If it hadn't been for you and everyone telling me, I don't

 think I ever would have known that I love him. Isn't that funny, that

 a person can love someone and not know it until everyone points it

 out? I guess I am pretty stupid about things sometimes. Gomenasai.   

 

 I've been working on preparations for the new school year. There is

 so much to be done when you are starting out a new quarter. There are

 lesson plans, and assignments, and grading schemes, and you have to

 look over the medical records and past performance of the girls to

 figure out what they are capable of. And I never knew soccer was so

 complicated. Playing it was a lot easier than coaching. Our season

 starts in the spring, but I will do some practices with the team this

 fall. I have a notebook of plays from last year, but trying to figure

 out the diagrams with all of the X's and O's makes me sort of dizzy.

 Little Jung-chan said she would help, because she knew all the plays

 from her friend being on the team last year. She is a very bright

 little girl, and really has helped me a lot as an assistant.  

 

 I wasn't going to mention this, because I don't want to bother you.

 But I have to talk about it with someone, because it still really

 upsets me. Something funny happened with Sayoran the night after you

 left. He was in a real bad mood, and very angry. I've noticed that

 when he is emotional about something, he gets short-tempered and

 moody. I guess we make sort of a funny pair, because he has trouble

 expressing his feelings, and I have trouble knowing mine. Anyhow, we

 sort of got into a fight again. I really, really hate that,

 especially with him. What he said I know he didn't really mean, but

 it still hurt to hear. I didn't want to cry, but I just couldn't help

 it. That made him even more mad, and he was yelling about me being a

 stupid woman and to stop crying. That's when I ran out.

 

  I walked around for a long time, but just couldn't stop crying.

 Then I noticed I had wandered into your room, and sat in the chair to

 calm down. The moon was up, and your little quilt just glowed in the

 beautiful, silvery light. It's odd, because it was as if you were

 still with me in that room. Tomoyo-chan, I could feel you there,

 comforting me and holding me close. I stopped crying, though my heart

 still hurt terribly. Then I saw something tucked under the quilt. You

 are going to laugh, but my first thought really was, "Oh, Tomoyo-chan

 left some of her clothing behind. I had better fly to Tomoeda right

 away and take it back to her!" But looking closely, I saw it was not

 finished. Also, it didn't look like it would fit you. That is when I

 realized it was a costume for me. 

 

 Arigato gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan. I know you meant to leave it,

 because it was folded so neatly, and tucked into your bed so

 carefully. It is so beautiful, even if it isn't done. I remembered

 all the funny little costumes you made for me when we were younger,

 and all the love that was stitched into them. Back then, I really

 didn't understand how special they were. Now, they are all my

 precious memories, because you made them for me. It was a beautiful

 present, and thank you for leaving it. But the most wonderful gift I

 have ever received was you, Tomoyo-chan. Maybe because we were so

 close for so long I didn't know. But now that you're gone again, I

 understand. I know the most amazing thing to happen to me wasn't the

 Cards, or all the magic, or even marrying Sayoran-chan. It was being

 with you.

 

 I fell asleep in your bed, hugging the dress you made for me. I felt

 better in the morning, so please don't feel sad. It was almost as if

 you were there with me, sharing sweet dreams all night long.

 Sometimes when I think about you, I get all hanyaan. And sometimes, I

 feel such a soothing peace that everything seems all right. Last

 night, your gentle spirit took away all the hurt in my heart. I guess

 this is what you meant when you said you would always be with me,

 even when we were apart. Thank you, Tomoyo-chan.

 

  

   

 With all my love,

 

 

 

 Kinomoto Sakura

 

 

 Dear Sakura-chan,

 	I was so delighted to receive your wonderful letter in the mail.

 Now that you’re so far away, I find myself watching my videos of you

 even more often just so I can see you again. Your letters are always

 such a great gift because they let me know how you are doing now. I

 can hear Sakura-chan’s voice speaking whenever I read them, as if you

 were telling me these things in person. It’s very difficult not to

 look around the room to spot you. I have all of your letters placed

 carefully in the box with the eraser you gave me and your mother’s

 bouquet and your own for safekeeping. I’m afraid I’ll need a bigger

 box soon! Though they never stay in the box very long because I

 reread your letters nearly as much as I watch my videos of you. They

 have that wonderful feel of Sakura-chan that always managed to

 entrance me so. It never mattered to me that you were a girl.

 Everything about you was always so amazing that I couldn’t keep

 myself from falling under your spell even if I tried. Which I would

 never want to try anyway. Being near you, being your best friend was

 the happiest time of my life. You bring an energetic joy to the world

 that must be contagious. You’re the sun and the moon in my life,

 granting your beautiful light even in the darkest of nights. I’m so

 very glad for the time I could spend with you and I’m very grateful

 to have been a part of your life. Now that I watch through your life

 again, captured on videotape in the same way you captured Cards, I

 wonder if things might have happened differently if... But no, that

 really doesn’t matter. Like an excellently scripted shoujo manga,

 Magical Girl Sakura-chan has managed to not only save the love of

 everyone, but to capture the heart of the cute lead boy. I always

 thought the romance in those manga were the best parts, so I’m happy

 that Sakura-chan can have a fairy tale marriage. You have a beautiful

 life, Sakura-chan. I hope the next installment is even more amazing

 than the pieces I have in my VCR. 

 	Thank you so much for the exciting visit to Hong Kong. You were by

 far the best part of it. Even with it’s beautiful scenery and places

 to go, it still couldn’t compare to the splendor that is Sakura-chan.

 It was a very lovely trip and I don’t know how I could ever thank you

 for it. The memories will forever remain deep in my heart, filling me

 with joy when I look back on them. It was like a gorgeous dream to be

 able to see you again, to actually be a part of your new life for a

 short while. And here I thought I would have to wait till you were

 pregnant to come see it. Thank you again for such a lovely

 experience. I will carry it with me always.

 	Now that I’m back in Japan, I find myself thinking of your smiling

 face constantly. But that’s not very different from how I used to be,

 so no one notices anything unusual. I told mother all about my visit

 and she was very excited about it. It was wonderful to relive all of

 the memories while I told her what had happened. I showed her some

 videotape of the trip, but I really hadn’t filmed much while I was

 there. That had surprised me because I had gone expecting to take

 quite a bit of video sense I wouldn't be able to see you again. Ieran-

 sama kindly gave me a videotape before I left so I was very happy

 about that. It shows more of me than of Sakura-chan, but mother

 didn’t seem to mind at all. She says I’m beginning to look quite a

 bit like your mother, Sakura-chan. I can tell from some of the

 pictures. She says that with how you and I act, we must have been

 switched at birth. She’s still a little angry at the person in my

 heart, but I know that she misses seeing you. You aren’t just

 Nadeshiko’s daughter, though she was always happy about that, but

 you’re a truly amazing person and she could see that as well as I

 could. I know my mother would love to talk to you again. If she ever

 says anything... Please don’t worry about her. Mother has been

 through a lot. I know that she thinks very highly of you. She always

 agreed with me that you were very pretty, genki, and sweet. I guess I

 shouldn’t worry about it because you probably won’t see each other

 again, but please know that you will always shine in her eyes as well

 as my own. 

 	Thank you for keeping the room as I left it, Sakura-chan. That’s

 very nice of you. It was such a lovely room. I think a piece of me

 will always reside there, a part of my heart remaining in Hong Kong

 to watch over you. But please don’t worry about keeping it as I left

 it. Life is full of change and I’m sure the room will serve other

 purposes someday. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back for quite a

 while as well, so you don’t have to keep it for me. I’m so glad you

 found the dress. I wanted to give it to you, but I didn’t know what

 to say about it. Words can be such a difficult thing sometimes. It’s

 so much easier when you speak your heart. Which is something that I

 always loved about you. You always did speak your heart, even when

 you didn’t fully understand its intentions. It was always so cute to

 see you when you were speaking passionately about one thing or

 another. That fiery blush of yours always matched the fiery

 determination in your eyes, making you look almost ethereal in your

 beauty. And you would always come through, accomplishing what you set

 your heart to, even if it wasn’t exactly what you’d intended. Sakura-

 chan, I’m so glad you’re married. I’m so glad that you have embarked

 on this new voyage in your life. I wish you only the best throughout

 it all. I hope that you can have beautiful children and that your

 life is long and fulfilling and blessedly happy. That is my fondest

 wish and one that I will always pray for. Even if I become nothing

 more than a distant memory in your life, I will still pour my heart

 into those wishes for you. Please be happy, Sakura-chan. Because even

 this far away, I never want you to ever have to be sad. 

 	But back to the costume, I just didn’t think it was right to finish

 it. I wanted your wedding dress to be the last costume I made for

 you. It felt more fitting that way. So I apologize for leaving you

 with a half finished costume. But I wanted you to have it. Perhaps as

 a reminder or when you used to run around as my pretty Cardcaptor.

 You always looked so gorgeous in the costumes, but you were what

 brought out the beauty in them. They came alive when you wore them.

 You were already so beautiful that the costumes were just an

 accessory to the image. I hope you like the dress, even if it isn’t

 finished. Please take good care of it. And yourself, Sakura-chan.  

 	I enclosed some pictures of myself along with another videotape to

 help with your cooking. The recipe on this tape is a little more

 complicated, but I made sure to explain everything as well as I could

 in it. I’m sure by now you will be able to make it perfectly. Just

 remember to throw in a pinch or two of love to give it a little of

 your own touch. If you go at it with the same burning determination

 I’ve seen in you countless times before, then I know this will taste

 exquisite. The camera angles might be a little awkward because

 Chiyomi (one of my bodyguards) hasn’t used a camcorder before, but

 she’s a quick learner, so it gets much better a few minutes into it.

 I looked around for some pictures of myself to send, but it turns out

 that most of my pictures are of Sakura-chan. I finally went and had

 some pictures taken and I’ve put those with the letter. Mother teased

 me about becoming a model like your mother, but I think I’ll stick

 with toy designing. I always enjoyed being behind the camera much

 more than being in front of it. Like with the plays we were a part of

 and your Card capturing, I felt much more comfortable either behind

 the camera’s lens or working on the costumes. Even with my singing,

 the crowds were never my favorite part. But I just loved being able

 to pour out my feelings in song. Which is probably why I used to sing

 to myself when I would work on your costumes. Anyway, I hope that you

 and Fanren-san can use the pictures. Writing about this has reminded

 me of a few pictures I carry of you in my purse. I’m looking at the

 one I took of you holding the King Penguin statue right now. You were

 so adorable in it!

 	I’m glad that you and Fanren-san could talk. She is a very

 straightforward person, so I’m a little surprised that she didn’t

 tell you what she meant. She helped quite a bit with the banquet and

 my time in Hong Kong in general. She is a very warm and very kind

 woman. I received a letter from her a short time ago which I’m going

 to get back to tonight (I’m writing this during my lunch break.

 Mother and I are having lunch at a very nice restaurant. She’s on her

 cell phone right now so I decided to write back). She and I had a lot

 to talk about. She must get her perceptiveness from her mother, even

 if they don’t act much alike. I would say she’s like the older sister

 I never had, but I don’t think she’d like the example. That doesn’t

 exactly fit either. I’m very glad that she and I managed to talk

 while I was there. 

 	Yes, the person I love is an extremely amazing person. I’m very

 happy that everything has worked out for them. I’ve come to a few

 difficult decisions lately. I don’t think I’m going to see them

 anymore, Sakura-chan. I love them so much that being around them is

 almost overwhelming. Being a part of their life and watching them in

 love is very difficult. I should be happy for them. And I am happy

 for them. But part of my heart longs for them terribly at times. If I

 stay in their life, I think it will be too much for me. I don’t think

 I could handle it. And if they find out my feelings, then it will

 ruin things. Both their memories of me and the life they have now. So

 I’m going to quietly slip from their life. I will always love them

 with every bit of my heart and soul, but I don’t think I can stay any

 longer. It’s a very painful decision, but I think it’s all I can do

 now. I will always have my memories of this wonderful person. And one

 day I would like to be their guardian angel, to watch over them as

 they continue forward in their life. 

 	I know that Ieran-sama can seem a bit harsh and distant at times,

 but she is a very loving woman. She wants what is best for her family

 and for those she cares about. You have to remember that she intended

 for Li-kun to marry Meiling-chan. And with the structure of the Li

 Clan and life in Hong Kong, that has caused her some difficulty. And

 aside from that, she has other concerns as well. I talked to her for

 a bit and it seems that she worries quite a bit about you. But she

 doesn’t hate you, Sakura-chan. I can’t think of anyone who could ever

 hate you. I think she’s merely concerned about you. As time goes by,

 I’m sure she will warm up to you as a member of her family. Li-kun

 was always afraid of her, but his sisters seem to think of her very

 differently. Sense you are Li-kun’s wife, you are placed in a similar

 position to Li-kun. But as time goes by, I’m sure that the two of you

 will grow much closer. She seems to have a very loving relationship

 with her daughters. In time I believe she will come to see you as one

 of them. 	By the way, how is Meiling-chan doing? The last I had seen

 of her was at the banquet. I hope that she is doing better now. She

 must still be upset about Li-kun. I can understand, even if she and I

 took different paths in regards to the ones we love. She reminds me a

 bit of my mother, so I worry about her. Both are very strong,

 outspoken women who let their emotions show through easily. That also

 worries me about you, Sakura-chan. I know how angry my mother is with

 your father and I don’t want Meiling-chan to be that angry with you. 

 	The new school year must be very busy for you, especially if you’ll

 be doing cheerleading as well as your normal classes. But I’m very

 excited about it, even if I won’t be seeing it. The thought of Sakura-

 chan teaching talented young girls about cheerleading warms my heart.

 I always loved watching you when you were in your cute little

 cheerleading uniform, practicing all sorts of moves and chants. The

 little show your girls put on for me was amazing. It reminded me of

 all the wonderful things you used to do. I’ll have to go watch my

 videotape of you cheerleading when I get home. I’m sure that with

 Jung-chan’s help everything will flow nicely. Her interest in soccer

 is probably based on her friend, but my interest in cheerleading was

 based on you, so I’m sure she paid plenty of attention to what her

 friend did, at the very least. Please be careful with her, Sakura-

 chan. I think she’s very much in love herself. I’m very glad that

 you’ve been keeping an eye out for her. I think she may need it,

 especially as time goes by. 

 	Oh, Sakura-chan, I am so sorry that you got into another fight with

 Li-kun! I feel so awful every time the two of you argue. And I’m

 afraid that this might be my fault. I know that Li-kun can get very

 jealous about things, like with you and your brother when it came to

 Yukito and Eriol-kun when it came to you. I noticed that the two of

 you didn’t spend much time together during my visit. You see Li-kun

 everyday, but this had been the first time you had seen me in quite

 some time, so it made sense that you would spend time with me. But he

 must have felt like I was trying to take you away from him or that I

 was wasting all of your time. I’m very sorry, Sakura-chan. I never

 wanted to cause any trouble for the two of you. I can send him an

 apology if you would like. I want the two of you to be as happy as

 possible. I don’t want there to be any waves in your beautiful

 marriage. I’m very glad that I could help, even if I wasn’t there.

 You’re very important to me, Sakura-chan. You’ll always be in my

 thoughts and in my heart. I wish I could have been there with you,

 holding you all night long. But I’m glad your dress was there

 instead. Even if it’s unfinished, it’s still filled with love and

 care. 

 	I’m so happy to hear you say that I was the most wonderful gift you

 have received. That makes my heart sing and makes me feel so warm

 inside. Thank you so very much, Sakura-chan. Meeting you was the best

 thing that has ever happened to me. You were a sparkling angel in my

 life that lit my life with the brightness of your heart. I could

 never forget you or imagine a life without the fond memories that you

 have bestowed upon me. Sakura-chan, thank you for being a part of my

 life. Thank you for all of the wonderful moments that I can dream

 about. Thank you for being you, Sakura-chan. Even if we’re far apart,

 even if our letters suddenly stopped, I will always be with you.

 Because my heart will always call out to you. 

 

 You friend forever,

 Daidouji Tomoyo