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date Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:53:12 -0500
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1 Dear Sakura
2 by G.P.
3 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
5 I.
7 Walking slowly down the hallway of the now quiet mansion, Sakura and
8 Tomoyo finally arrived at the guest room. The two stood face-to-face,
9 hand-in-hand, smiling silently at each other. Captivated by the
10 beautiful woman gazing lovingly at her, Sakura was unable to say good
11 night. Tomoyo was tired, but her enchanted friend simply couldn’t
12 tear herself away. Finally, as if groping for some excuse to keep the
13 night alive, she stammerd out,
15 “Tomoyo-chan, ummu, would you like to meet Dark-sama and Light-sama?
16 I know it’s late, and if you’re tired we can go to bed, but…”
18 Tomoyo squeezed the brunette’s hands and sweetly replied,
20 “I’d love to, Sakura-chan. I’m never sleepy when I’m with my
21 favorite Cardmistress.” Then, with a little frown of concern, she
22 added, “But is Sakura-chan too tired? I know that she has written her
23 magic is sometimes fatiguing, and I would not want her to be
24 exhausted for my sake.”
26 Sakura smiled brightly, shaking her head, “No, I’m fine, really”.
27 With that, she spun about and ran down the hall, then turned
28 sheepishly and started to yell. Suddenly covering her mouth at the
29 realization of how late it was, she rushed back and whispered
30 excitedly that she would return quickly with the cards. As she
31 disappeared down the dark hallway, Tomoyo giggled, then took a slow,
32 deep breath, struggling with her tumultuous emotions. She was indeed
33 desperately tired, but sleep seemed trivial when she could be with
34 her perpetually genki friend. After a few moments Sakura reappeared,
35 Clow Book in hand, and the two entered the room.
37 Sakura carefully laid the book down on the old desk and pulled a
38 little gold chain from her cheongsam as Tomoyo busied herself with
39 something in the corner of the room. Sakura undid the chain and slid
40 the Key off, cradling it in her hands. Puzzled, she looked about the
41 room for Tomoyo, and saw her already filming with the video camera.
42 Despite a sweat drop, Sakura basked in the warmth of Tomoyo’s
43 attention. Holding the Key to her breast, she chanted the words of
44 power,
46 "Key of the Star,
47 with powers burning bright,
48 reveal the staff,
49 and shine your light.
50 Release!"
52 A swirl of yellow light arose, and the floor glowed with the the
53 Star Seal. Sakura felt a pulsating power rush through her body.
54 Leaning over the desk, she carefully picked up The Light card, and
55 flicked it into the air. Twirling her staff, she nimbly brought it
56 down with a splash of bright, white light. As the light slowly
57 coalesced into a feminine form, she awoke The Dark, and black shadows
58 poured into the room. Within seconds, two beautiful women, clad like
59 queens from a fairy tale, stood before the two friends. The woman
60 with long, straight dark hair looked smilingly at Tomoyo, and then
61 shyly averted her eyes. But the other, her golden hair curling to the
62 floor and floating in the air, gazed lovingly at the unknown dark-
63 haired girl. Bowing slightly, she greeted her melodiously in sing-
64 song Chinese. Wishing Fanren was with her, Tomoyo bowed deeply and
65 replied,
67 “Nihao. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t speak Chinese”. Dark
68 looked at her in surprise. Light hid her tittering behind a slender
69 hand, and spoke,
71 “I’m sorry. I thought perhaps I was addressing a Princess of the
72 Imperial House. Sakura-chan, would you please introduce us to this
73 lovely girl?”
75 Sakura shook her head, suddenly remembering her manners,
77 “Oh, gomenesai! Dark-sama, Light-sama, this is my very best friend
78 from Japan, Daidouji Tomoyo.”
80 The shimmering figures smiled and bowed, as did Tomoyo. She watched
81 in awe as shadows and light swirled languidly through the room. The
82 two women from the cards held hands, their fingers lightly
83 interlaced. Light's voice was soft and glowing,
85 “Sakura-chan has told us so much about you. Sometimes you’re all she
86 talks about.” Turning to her shadowy friend, she spoke earnestly,
88 “She reminds me a little of you: sweet, gentle, and beautiful as
89 twilight.” They were slowly drawn to one another, and for a
90 breathless second Tomoyo thought they might actually kiss. But Light
91 laid her hand on Dark’s blushing cheek, then turned slowly again to
92 Tomoyo. In a voice like bright sunshine she said,
94 “And like you, Dark-chan, I think she has many secrets, don’t you,
95 Tomoyo-chan?”
97 Tomoyo colored as Light’s sparkling eyes regarded her with measured
98 care. Bowing slightly, Tomoyo replied,
100 “None that I could ever keep from you, Light-sama.”
102 With lady-like laughter, Dark’s delicate fingers touched her
103 companion’s alabaster shoulder. In a voice like willows whispering in
104 the night, she gently chided,
106 “Secrets are yours to reveal, Light-chan, but mine to keep. Some
107 hearts abide in darkness, lest they shatter in the light of day. When
108 she wishes her secrets known, she will seek you. Till then, let her
109 rest with me.”
111 Dark leaned closer, her hand carefully brushing a stray lock of
112 lavender hair from Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes. Tender as a mother, or
113 a lover, she caressed the girl’s pale, crimson-flushed cheek. Tomoyo
114 was shrouded in the shadowy-black hair that drifted serenely about
115 her. Eveloped by a fragrance of night flowers and wisteria, of
116 sandalwood and incense, Tomoyo stood breathless as the beautiful,
117 pale face hovered over her. Dark lightly kissed her forehead. The
118 young woman from Japan swooned as a peaceful wave washed over her, a
119 tranquil blessing that calmed the thudding in her breast. All the
120 knotted fears and worries wound so tightly round her heart were
121 loosed, and for an instant her unfettered soul soared free. She
122 slumped into Dark’s arms, tears flowing, hugging her tightly.
123 Surprised, the Dark figure smiled and hugged the trembling young
124 woman, whispering reassurance as she gently carressed her. Tomoyo’s
125 hair came magically undone, the shimmering tresses cascading like a
126 black waterfall. The red and gold jewelry that had adorned her hair
127 tinkled to the floor as her body grew limp. She fell into a deep
128 slumber, and Dark laid the little body gently on the futon and wiped
129 away the sparkling tears with her fingers. The emeralds encircling
130 the darksome woman's slender throat shone brightly, illuminating the
131 room in a magical, green glow. With sad, black eyes she turned to
132 Sakura and spoke in a solemn whisper,
134 “Everything will be all right, if you take care of her. For now, let
135 her sleep.” Sakura nodded silently. Dark and Light smiled and bowed,
136 and Sakura returned them to their card forms. She carefully laid them
137 in the book, then gazed at the still figure asleep on the futon.
138 Sakura knelt and lovingly straightened her friend's shimmering
139 lavender hair, slipped off the drowsing beauty's shoes, then loosened
140 the red cheongsam. She finished by covering her with the silken
141 quilt, but still could not will herself to leave. Tomoyo’s face was
142 calm and placid, and she smiled sweetly at some delightful dream.
143 Sakura looked at her with longing, glad that Dark-sama had apparently
144 lifted some great burden from her heart, but secretly wishing she
145 were still awake. There was so much she wanted to say, so much to do.
146 But what? Sakura creased her brow and sorted through a jumble of
147 thoughts and feelings.
149 What exactly did she want to say, or do?
151 She wanted to wipe away all the pain and hurt she had seen in
152 Tomoyo’s azure eyes. Her chest tightened with the memory of Tomoyo
153 sobbing in her arms just the night before. Looking at her now, that
154 pain seemed so far away. But when she awoke, whatever had caused it,
155 her loneliness, her lost love, or something else, would still be
156 there to haunt her. It wasn’t fair that so gentle a spirit as Tomoyo
157 should bear such agony. Sakura felt her will harden to a steely
158 resolve as she thought, I will not let her suffer. I will not.
160 But what else did the Mistress of the Cards want? She wanted to know
161 why she loved Tomoyo more than her husband, her family, or her own
162 life. This feeling confused her greatly, but she knew it to be true.
163 Her love for her friend was boundless, like a glimpse of eternity, or
164 a taste of the infinite. This realization had been long and slow in
165 coming, but shook the foundations of Sakura’s little world when it
166 finally arrived. Tomoyo was not her special person, or her true love.
167 Nor was she a brother, or father, or Mother. Sakura loved them all
168 dearly, but not like this. Sakura was happily married to a wonderful
169 man. Tomoyo was not the love of her life, she couldn’t be. But that
170 was exactly how it felt. There was nowhere on earth she would rather
171 be but in this room, by her side. Sakura shook her head as she
172 thought, how can I love her more than my own husband? Fighting back
173 the tears she whispered,
175 “I don’t know, but I do.”
177 Finally, a cold emptiness gripped her as she realized that in three
178 days Tomoyo would be gone. She clenched her fists into tight little
179 balls as the thought sunk in. A metallic desperation seized Sakura as
180 she contemplated life without her best friend. Being apart after the
181 wedding had been hard, bringing her at times to tears. But now it was
182 worse, for she had again shared life with her beautiful best friend.
183 To see her, to hear her voice, to touch her and hold her and- and to
184 kiss her. Sakura blushed and trembled, shaken by memories too sweet
185 for words. She wanted to be with her not just tonight, not just in
186 her visit to Hong Kong, but forever and ever and ever.
188 But it was all impossible. Tomoyo had her own life now, and would
189 soon return to it. She also had her own true love, a thought that
190 pained Sakura, even as she determined that this heart’s desire of her
191 friend would not go unfulfilled. And, for that matter, she herself
192 had a new life with the man she loved. Sighing heavilly, Sakura lay
193 down beside her sleeping friend, watching the quilt rise and fall
194 with each sweet, slow breath. Nothing made any sense at all, and she
195 was hopelessly confused. All she knew for certain was her love for
196 Tomoyo. Wrapping an arm round the sleeping figure in the soft, downy
197 quilt, the Mistress of the Cards quietly cried herself to sleep.
199 II.
201 With a flutter of dark lashes, Tomoyo slowly awoke. Dawn crept into
202 the guest room, painting a warm yellow triangle on the wall opposite
203 the garden window. Laying on her back, she began to stretch, but
204 found herself tightly swaddled in the silken quilt. She noticed an
205 arm wrapped around her, and, with a puzzled expression looked over to
206 her side. There was Sakura, still dressed in the black cheongsam,
207 fast asleep and holding her tightly. Tomoyo smiled, luxuriating in
208 embrace of her dearest friend. Staring at the heavy wooden beams of
209 the ceiling, she felt a tranquil sense of peace, a peace unknown for
210 a very long time. She remembered Dark-sama's haunting presence,
211 washing the aches and fears from her heart in a peaceful, shadowy
212 wave. Maybe everything really would be all right. Somehow, it was
213 impossible to think otherwise, here in her arms.
215 She carefully shifted onto her side to better see Sakura. Is this
216 what it would be like, to be with her all the time? To awaken every
217 morning and see her, to putter about in the kitchen making breakfast,
218 to come home at night and greet her, and then sleep together,
219 entwined in her arms? Tomoyo sighed at this sweetest of sweet
220 thoughts. She was fascinated by Sakura's face, so close to her own.
221 Placid and happy, she was cute and adorable in her innocent slumber.
222 It struck Tomoyo as odd that she had spent the night here, rather
223 than with her husband. But she must have been too exhausted to make
224 it back to her bedroom. Even Sakura's genki energy has it's limits,
225 she giggled to herself. Well, if she had to go to sleep, this was as
226 good a place as any. The young guest lay enfolded in her true love's
227 arms for several blissfull minutes until she felt Sakura slowly begin
228 to awaken. Smiling as Sakura yawned and stretched, one eye open and
229 the other still closed, Tomoyo watched her intently. Half-asleep for
230 sure, she giggled to herself. Softly she spoke to her still sleepy
231 friend,
233 "Ohayo, Sakura-chan."
235 Sakura looked at her, eyes blinking in wonder. Realizing she had
236 wrapped her arm around her friend, Sakura quickly sat up and
237 spluttered,
239 "Oh, ohayo, Tomoyo-chan. Gomenesai, I guess I fell asleep. I didn't
240 mean to..."
242 Tomoyo shook her head and smiled as she sat up, "No, no, it was
243 wonderful laying here with you. I haven't slept so well in a very
244 long time."
246 Sakura smiled back, her hand behind her head in embarrassment. But
247 then she put her hands in her lap, bowed her head so she didn't have
248 to meet Tomoyo's gaze, and said,
250 "I guess I didn't want to leave you, Tomoyo-chan. I just wanted to
251 be with you."
252 Sakura looked up, her emereald eyes shimmering. Tomoyo felt her
253 heart stop at the sight. Suddenly, Sakura hugged her tightly, nearly
254 squeezing the breath out of her startled friend. Tomoyo felt the
255 soft, silk-clad form nestled against her, and a shiver of passion
256 flowed through her body. She hugged back, resting her head on the
257 brunette's shoulder. Finally they parted, slightly dazed but smiling.
258 Sakura suddenly gushed forth with barely suppressed excitment,
260 "Do you still want to see the school today? I thought maybe we could
261 stop by before we went to the beach."
263 "Yes, Sakura-chan, I'd love to see your school. I think it's so
264 wonderful that Sakura-chan is a sensei."
266 "Thank you Tomoyo-chan. I feel so wonderful today, not tired at all
267 like I sometimes am after using the Cards. I'll meet you in the
268 kitchen and we can have breakfast!"
270 Sakura hugged Tomoyo again before rushing out the door. She left the
271 pale girl huddled in the comforter, hand on her cheek, gazing
272 adoringly.
274 III.
276 As Tomoyo clambered off the bus, she saw the modern looking, white,
277 six-story building that formed the main structure of the Fung Kai Liu
278 Yun Sum Memorial School. It was different from the traditional
279 Japanese schools that she was used to. Large Chinese characters were
280 written from top to bottom on the right side of the building. There
281 were beautiful trees in front, and the grounds and building were
282 impeccably maintained. Sakura took her by the hand and led her
283 through the empty halls. Sakura had mentioned the school was on
284 holiday, so she was able to get time off. Finally they went through a
285 set of double doors into a small-sized gymnasium. Sakura scanned it
286 to make sure that her gym was in proper shape, and then said,
288 "We can leave our things in my office. It's over there, in the back."
290 They walked accross the wooden parquay floor. Sakura pointed out the
291 door to the dance studio, and then used a little brass key to open
292 her office. The office was quite small, but Sakura had arranged
293 things nicely without it seeming to be cramped. On her desk Tomoyo
294 saw three pictures: one of Sakura and Syoaran from their wedding, and
295 one of Fujitaka, Touya, and Yukito, all clad in their summer yukata.
296 The other was of her, the same as the one she had sent Sakura for her
297 nightstand at home. Sakura saw her looking and laughed,
299 "I had a copy made so there would be one of you here at work, too. I
300 have to have a picture of my girlfriend, after all."
302 Tomoyo blushed and giggled, and made a mental note to send another
303 picture. With that, Sakura began her guided tour of the school,
304 pointing out classrooms and labs and the teacher's lounge. There,
305 she was delighted to find her sensei friend, Wei Jun. Introducing
306 Tomoyo, Sakura begged to be excused to attend to something with the
307 cheerleading club. The older woman poured a cup of tea for her guest
308 as the two sat down in the empty lounge. Her eyes lit up as she spoke
309 in impeccable Japanese,
311 "Ah, so this is Daidouji Tomoyo. I almost feel as if I know you,
312 from all that Sakura-san has said.You're even prettier than her
313 descriptions, which seems nearly impossible."
315 Tomoyo blushed and bowed again as she spoke in her musical voice,
316 "Thank you, Jun-sama, both for your kind words, and for helping
317 Sakura with her new job."
319 The older woman smiled wistfully as she replied, "It's been a
320 pleasure to have her at the school. She's done a wonderful job.
321 Besdies, she reminds me of someone from long ago. Oh, and so
322 energetic! Sometimes even the girls have a hard time keeping up with
323 her."
325 The two talked about the school, and Hong Kong, and Japan, but
326 somehow the topic always managed to return to again to the genki new
327 P.E. teacher. With a twinkle in her eye, Jun asked,
329 "Tomoyo-san, how long have you known Sakura-san?"
331 This triggered another stream of reminisence from the young dark-
332 haired woman, who recalled picnics and festivals, dances and
333 contests. Immersed in visions of her adorable friend, the starry-eyed
334 Tomoyo failed to see Jun's barely suppressed smile. Finally, the
335 Chinese woman gently asked,
337 "You still love her very much, don't you?"
339 Tomoyo stopped and gazed at the kindly face of the teacher. She
340 smiled and nodded, her alabaster cheeks touched with a crimson blush.
341 After a moment of silence, the older woman continued,
343 "But you've never told her, or if you did, she didn't quite
344 understand you, yes?"
346 Again, Tomoyo nodded solemnly. With a worried look she asked in a
347 plaintive voice,
349 "Sensei-sama, please don't say anything about this. I don't want to
350 trouble her. She's found her own special soemone, and she's married
351 to him. Everything is as it should be, and I'm happy that way."
353 Tomoyo's words rang hollow in her ears, and the look on Jun's face
354 showed how easilly the woman saw through her faltering mask. Her look
355 held knowledge of Tomoyo's hidden hurt, and a sympathy that only
356 mutually shared pain could bring. The Chinese woman looked out the
357 window and sighed,
359 "We're always happy that our loved ones are happy. If they really
360 are happy, that is. But that doesn't ease the pain all that much,
361 does it, Tomoyo-san? I remember Ming Xia's wedding. It was so
362 beautiful, and I was so, so happy for her. But all the same, I wanted
363 to die. I really did. To see her with him, knowing she was gone from
364 my life, forever. But I couldn't tell her that, and ruin her
365 happiness, too. I thought the years would be kinder, that someday I
366 might forget. But it doesn't happen like that. Not when it's your
367 true love. That kind of love isn't affected by time, or distance, or
368 anythng at all. Before she died last year, she sent me a little
369 letter. She wanted me to visit her in England. After all these years,
370 she was lonely. She said she missed me. But I didn't make it. She
371 never knew I loved her. Maybe she knows know, somehow. I don't know."
373 On the brink of tears, Jun looked at Tomoyo with a sad smile and
374 spoke in a broken whipser,
376 "Don't worry, Tomoyo-san. I won't say anything to Sakura. I'm sorry,
377 I..."
379 She suddenly stood up and rushed to the door. Tomoyo rose to go to
380 her, but she waved the young woman away. As the door closed, Tomoyo
381 stood with her hands to her breast, azure eyes misted with tears.
382 Poor, poor Jun-sama. How strong she must be to have lived through all
383 those years of pain. How could she do it? How could anyone do it?
384 Clutching her chest she felt a cold stab of pain at the thought: how
385 can I do it? I don't know how I've survived for four months. How can
386 I go on like this for years? She sat on the chair and struggled to
387 calm herself before Sakura arrived. Somehow, when her friend at last
388 burst through the door, she once again wore her very sweetest smile.
390 "Hello, Tomoyo-chan, I'm sorry I was gone so long. Oh, did Jun-sama
391 leave?"
393 "Yes, she had to go. But we had some tea, and a very nice
394 conversation. so please don't worry."
396 Sakura smiled, though to Tomoyo's practiced eye she looked as if she
397 were hiding something. Obviously in a hurry, the little P.E. teacher
398 blurted out,
400 "Umm, would you like to go out and see the athletic field now?"
402 Sakura's eager face betrayed her as Tomoyo smiled in reply,
404 "Yes, I'd love to."
406 When they arrived, Sakura placed her friend in a little folding
407 chair by the edge of the soccer pitch. A few boys were playing a game
408 at the far end, though the late morning heat slowed their game to a
409 crawl. Sakura suddenly blew a whistle, and out of the gym rushed
410 eight girls attired in the uniforms Tomoyo had designed, followed by
411 one in school shorts and a T-shirt, carrying a clipboard and running
412 behind. Amid much giggling and blushing, the uniformed girls shyly
413 formed up in front of Tomoyo. The small girl in T-shirt and shorts,
414 her beribboned hair in two long, black braids, stood close to Sakura,
415 warilly eyeing the mysterious friend from Japan through large, thick
416 glasses. Tomoyo smiled and waved at her, and the little face quickly
417 dissappeared behind the clipboard. Sakura blew the whistle again, and
418 the girls formed up in two ranks of four. They bowed in unison as
419 Sakura announced,
421 "The Fung Kai Liu Yun Sum Memorial School Cheerleading Club thanks
422 Daidouji Tomoyo for her wonderful uniform designs, and dedicates this
423 performance to her honor." With another blow on the whistle, they
424 began their routine.
426 Tomoyo watched the splendid show with delight. The uniforms really
427 did look adorable, and Sakura had trained the girls well in a
428 remarkeably short time. One girl in particular caught her eye. She
429 was nimble and quick, jumping over her teamates and spinning through
430 the air like Jump or Dash from the Clow Cards. Tomoyo noticed that
431 the girl with glasses had emerged from behind her clipboard and was
432 watching the little acrobat with a look of utter rapture. Tomoyo
433 giggled to herself and thought, that must be Chang Jung, the girl
434 Sakura-chan mentioned. Finally, the girls formed a pyramid, with the
435 object of Jung's affection perched on top. She stood fearlessly with
436 arms raised high, then leaped into a summersault as Tomoyo gasped in
437 surprise. The landing was perfect, and the dark-haired woman clapped
438 her approval as the cheerleaders took their bows. Then they swarmed
439 over her, chattering in an indescribably rapid Cantonese, eager to
440 see sensei's legendary friend from accross the seas. A beleagured
441 Tomoyo giggled as Sakura arrived, trying to bring order to the merry
442 chaos. At that moment, her Jun arrived to the rescue, cheerfully
443 translating the questions about toys and clothing design and life in
444 Japan. Finally, Sakura sheparded her flock back to practice,
445 demonstrating various moves with the easy grace that marked her
446 gymnastics, and had captivated Tomoyo's heart. As she watched
447 adoringly, Tomoyo noticed little Jung by her side.
449 When she smiled, the little girl bowed, and spoke in a endearingly
450 soft voice,
452 "Ohayo, Daidouji-sama."
454 Tomoyo returned her bow and greeting. She asked Wei-sama to
455 translate, and thanked the girl for being such a helpful assistant to
456 Sakura. The little girl blushed, replying that it was because she
457 wasn't very good at athletic things, and that sensei-sama was kind
458 enough to let her help as best she could. But when Tomoyo asked the
459 name of the nimble little girl who had topped the pyramid, Jung's
460 face lit up.
462 "Ah, that is Ling Xiao. Isn't she wonderful!" The child clasped her
463 hands and looked up starry-eyed. Tomoyo smiled and nodded as Jung
464 gleefully told her all about her marvelous friend. Finally, the
465 Japanese woman knelt down, gazed into the girl's eyes and asked,
467 "You like very very much, don't you, Jung-chan?" She smiled and
468 nodded. Tomoyo then asked,
470 "Does she like you the same way?"
472 Jung suddenly became thoughtful, and her pretty face almost sad as
473 she replied, "No, I don't think so. We are very best friends, but I
474 don't think she likes me the same way."
476 Tomoyo felt a stab in her heart. Fighting to keep her composure, she
477 asked in a whisper,
479 "Does Xiao-chan know how you feel?"
481 Again, the little girl looked solemn beyond her years, "No, I don't
482 think so. I don't think she would understand. But some day, I want to
483 tell her how I feel."
485 Tomoyo nodded as she fought back the tears. Her voice was trembling
486 as she replied,
488 "That's good. Tell her how you feel, Jung-chan, and soon. Even
489 though it may be hard to do, it's very important that she know. OK?"
491 The little girl nodded and smiled brightly, then ran off to help
492 Sakura. Tomoyo stood up and hugged herself tightly. The Chinese
493 teacher stood by her side, gazing with pity. There was nothing to
494 say, so the older woman remained silent. Finally, Sakura made sure
495 the girls had drunk their fill the of water before dismissing them to
496 the showers. Then she bounced up to the two women, towling herself
497 off and grinning. Tomoyo smiled as she spoke,
499 "It was wonderful, Sakura-chan. Thank you so very much."
501 Sakura smiled, "No, no, thank you! They wanted to do something for
502 you, because of the uniform design. It really did turn out great. No
503 wonder you're a professional designer, Tomoyo-chan. Are you ready to
504 go to the beach?"
506 Tomoyo nodded, then bowed to the older woman by her side, "Arigato
507 gozaimasum, Jun-sama. I hope we will meet again."
509 With a bow, the older woman smiled her goodbye, then silently
510 watched the two friends hold hands and walk away.