Hello everyone! ^-^ This is our first Card Captor Sakura and its also our first 

 real depressing story, but please stick it out till the end. ^^; We really hope you 

 enjoy this. ^^ We’d love to know what you think so please e-mail us at:

  amazonessduo@hotmail.com 

 We’d like to write more CCS stories (we’re working on a more lighthearted one

 already) so hopefully we’ll actually get around to them sometime soon. ^^; 

 Tomoyo and Sakura are just so cute together. ^=^ 

 

 

 Fallen Horses

 

 By Amazoness Duo

 

 

 Tomoyo clutched the blade tightly in her hand. She was happy for Sakura. She 

 was always happy for Sakura. No matter what. She loved her, but what did 

 that matter? If Sakura was in love with someone else, then she'd be happy 

 for Sakura. How could she be selfish? She'd never been selfish about Sakura 

 before. Why start now?

 

 Sakura meant everything to Tomoyo. She was her life. What else did 

 she have now? She knew she'd end up like her mother, losing the one person 

 she truly loved. She'd grow older alone, maybe having a daughter and 

 continuing the cycle that had begun with her mother.  

 

 Tomoyo looked around her dark room again. The curtains were drawn tightly, 

 leaving the room heavily shadowed. She saw her video camera lying on her 

 dresser. How many times had she used that to record her love? How many times 

 had she watched Sakura over and over from the tapes she'd recorded?

 The dark haired girl sighed sadly and switched off the TV that had been 

 playing the flickering images of the one she loved. Making the costumes Sakura 

 had worn and videotaping her wearing them had been some of the happiest 

 times in her life. Happy times she knew she'd no longer have.

 

 She had seen Sakura kiss him. That had hurt her more than any physical 

 thing ever could. It cut deeply into her soul. She'd tried not to let it get 

 to her too badly, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. He had won. He had 

 gotten Sakura. She tried to tell herself that it didn't matter. She loved 

 Sakura and she'd be happy as long as Sakura was happy. And Sakura was 

 definitely happy. Tomoyo couldn't handle it anymore. She loved the other 

 girl so much. It felt like her life was over now that Sakura had fallen in 

 love with someone else.

 

 Tomoyo had told Sakura that she was in love with her before. But Sakura 

 thought she was talking about the love of a friend. That had hurt to some 

 extent, too. She had intended to tell Sakura when she thought the brown haired 

 girl was mature enough to understand, but now it seemed she was too late.  

 Would it have changed anything had she explained to Sakura earlier? Would 

 things have still turned out this way? What would Sakura think if she knew 

 Tomoyo was in love with her? It could destroy the only thing still important to 

 Tomoyo, their friendship.

 

 Tomoyo was left with a difficult decision to make. She paced nervously as 

 she held the blade. She could try to tell Sakura so the other girl would at 

 least know. Or she could end things now before she destroyed their 

 friendship. 

 

 Tomoyo looked at the picture of Sakura she kept on her nightstand. She was the 

 most beautiful thing Tomoyo had ever seen. She winced as she felt 

 the biting edge of the knife pressed against her wrist. Tears ran down her 

 cheeks as she slumped to her knees, unsure of what to do, her mind filled 

 with conflicting thoughts. What about everyone else? Could she really leave 

 them all behind? What would they think if she was gone? But it hurt so much. 

 She loved Sakura so much. She would always love her. She didn't want to go 

 on if she knew Sakura would never love her. She'd tried to be happy for

 Sakura, but that didn't keep the emptiness from filling her. There was a void 

 inside her that seemed to grow everyday. She'd tried to talk to her mom, but 

 her heart had sunk further when she'd heard of her mother's own tragic love for 

 Nadeshiko. She could try to tell Sakura, but what good could it do now? Wasn't 

 it too late? How could she compete? Sakura loved him, didn't she?

 

 Tomoyo gasped as the knife pushed deeper against her pale skin. 

 "Sakura-chan," she said, her voice cracking. "I love you, Sakura-chan."

 

 ********

 

 Sakura weeped over the grave of her best friend. Her shaking hand set down 

 some flowers on the cold, damp ground. 'If only I'd told you earlier,' Sakura 

 thought to herself. 'Would you still be here now if I'd told you how I 

 felt?' The girl was wracked by sobs as she stared at the tombstone. This was 

 unfair. She was the Card Mistress. Things weren't supposed to end up like 

 this. She'd do anything to bring the dark haired girl back. Hot tears fell from 

 her chin to the cold dirt below. "Tomoyo," she cried sadly.

 

 ****** 

 

 Sakura woke up drenched in sweat, her sheets tangled around her. Her heart was 

 beating heavily in her chest, as if trying to escape. She gasped for breath, trying 

 to think, trying to get rid of the horrid images still invading her mind. ‘It was 

 just a dream,’ she told herself over and over. Tomoyo was just a phone call 

 away. She’d see her the next day at school. Everything was fine. She sat 

 uncomfortably in bed, kicking the sheets off of her. Was everything really fine? 

 

 When she’d finally found out how Tomoyo felt about her, she’d acted scared, 

 uncertain. Tomoyo had just smiled and told her that she was glad to get to tell 

 her, but the smile hadn’t reached her eyes. They had lost the sparkle they’d held 

 moments before. They seemed empty, sad. Had she acted too harshly? She 

 hadn’t meant to, but she’d been so shocked. She had no idea her best friend was 

 in love with her. What was she supposed to do? What could she say? Tomoyo 

 had left, but she hadn’t gone after her. She’d just sat there as the dark haired girl 

 walked away. When she’d worked up the courage later, she tried to call 

 Tomoyo, but her mother said she wouldn’t answer. 

 

 Sakura realized Tomoyo must have been scared to tell her. The dark haired girl 

 had no idea how Sakura would react if she knew. Yet she’d told her anyway. 

 Tomoyo must have been scared of what would happen next but she had told her. 

 And Sakura had hurt her friend with her reaction. She had hurt her friend badly.

 

 As she stared straight ahead in the darkness, she remembered how Tomoyo had 

 told her before, when they were younger. And how she hadn’t understood what 

 the dark haired girl had meant. Tomoyo said she’d tell Sakura when they were 

 older and she did. In retrospect Sakura wondered how she could have been so 

 blind to Tomoyo’s affections. So much made since now that she knew. It was 

 like a fog had been lifted. 

 

 Why had she acted the way she did when Tomoyo had told her? Because she 

 was scared, she told herself. She was scared because she didn’t understand. How 

 could she be in love with her? They were both girls. They’re mothers were 

 cousins. They were best friends. Because she just was afraid. She was afraid of 

 what might happen. They’d been best friends ever since Sakura had given 

 Tomoyo an eraser in class. They had been best friends for so long. What would 

 happen now? Would that change between them if Tomoyo loved her? No, she’d 

 felt that way for a long time so the only thing that would change would be 

 Sakura. Would things change if they were in love? Perhaps that thought had 

 frightened Sakura the most. The thought that maybe she echoed Tomoyo’s 

 feelings. After some soul searching over the past few days, she knew how she 

 felt. She was in love with Tomoyo as well. 

 

 But now what could she do? Tomoyo wouldn’t even talk to her. What if she did 

 go as far as in the dream? Now, when Sakura realized how she felt about the 

 dark haired girl, the reality that Tomoyo could be stripped from her so easily 

 chilled her to the bones. She tried to think of what Tomoyo was doing at this 

 instant, but none of the thoughts eased her mind. She was filled with dread as 

 she remembered some of the premonitions she’d had in dreams before. Could 

 this be one of them? She couldn’t lose Tomoyo now. She just couldn’t. 

 

 Sakura stood up in bed, the soft sheets rustling against her bare feet. She 

 climbed off onto the carpet and looked around for her staff. She clutched it 

 tightly and headed for the window. Cold air blew into her room as she opened 

 the window. Her sweat drenched pajamas clung to her. She shivered and 

 climbed outside. She knew what she had to do. She had to see Tomoyo. She had 

 to know she was all right. She had to tell her how she felt before it was too late. 

 

 “Fly!” She yelled as she invoked the power of the Clow Cards. Two angel wings 

 appeared on her back. Hopping into the air, she flew as fast as she could towards 

 Tomoyo’s house. She willed herself to go faster, hoping she wasn’t too late, 

 praying it was just a dream. The landscape beneath her blurred from the speed 

 she was going and her own tears. She blinked them back, trying to concentrate. 

 Her pajamas rustled against the biting wind. 

 

 She almost missed the luxurious house Tomoyo and her mother shared because 

 of her frantic hurry. She flew closer to the house, trying desperately to spot 

 Tomoyo’s window. She made a silent prayer that the light would be on, that the 

 dark haired girl was still awake watching a video or sewing a costume. 

 Something, anything. She finally spotted Tomoyo’s window. The light was off 

 and her blinds were closed. The pit in Sakura’s stomach doubled in size. Her 

 heart thundered as she reached out to the window. She rapped on it heavily, 

 trying to wake the dark haired girl up, hoping she could wake up. The wind blew 

 past her again as she waited for some response. Even Tomoyo being angry with 

 her would be better than this…silence. She prepared to knock again, louder this 

 time, when the window opened. 

 

 Tomoyo groggily rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She pulled her blanket tighter 

 around herself as the wind blew inside. “Sakura-chan?” she asked sleepily.

 

 “Tomoyo-chan!” Sakura practically bolted into the room. Her arms went around 

 the unprepared dark haired girl and dragged her close. “Oh, Tomoyo,” she 

 sobbed.

 

 Tomoyo abruptly got worried at the sound of Sakura’s voice. She felt the other 

 girl’s warm tears on her bare shoulder. “Sakura? What’s wrong?” Sakura 

 shuddered against her, relief flooding into her. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. 

 It’s okay. Please tell me.”

 

 The comforting tone in Tomoyo’s soft voice carried through Sakura. The tears 

 slowly trickled to a stop. “Tomoyo, I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried.” 

 Her voice wavered as she spoke.

 

 “Me?” Tomoyo asked surprised. “Sakura, I’m fine.”

 

 “Are you?” Sakura asked quietly. The dark haired girl looked away. She tried to 

 say something, but nothing came out when she tried. She didn’t know what to 

 say to Sakura. “Tomoyo, look at me. Please?” Sakura’s pleading voice broke in 

 through Tomoyo’s thoughts. She slowly turned back to face the other girl. “I 

 was so scared. I’d thought…. I thought you were gone. I thought I’d never see 

 you again. That scared me more than anything ever has.”

 

 “You mean… No, Sakura-chan, I wouldn’t do anything like that,” Tomoyo 

 smiled reassuringly. Sakura’s gaze went to a knife on Tomoyo’s nightstand. The 

 dark haired girl laughed nervously. “That’s for cutting some threads on your 

 outfits I’m making.”

 

 “Tomoyo, I don’t want to live without you,” Sakura said sadly. “I couldn’t live 

 with myself if anything ever happened to you. Please don’t leave me like that. I 

 know I hurt you, but I’m sorry.” Tears started to fill her eyes again as she looked 

 directly at Tomoyo. 

 

 Tomoyo couldn’t meet Sakura’s gaze. “Sakura…” she said weakly. She loved 

 the other girl more than her own life. She’d been heartbroken when Sakura had 

 reacted frightened to her confession of love. She just wanted Sakura to know, to 

 understand how she felt. Sakura’s fingers on her chin brought her eyes up to 

 meet Sakura’s. “Sakura, I…”

 

 “I love you,” Sakura said before the dark haired girl got the chance. She leaned 

 in and kissed Tomoyo softly on the lips. She felt a warmth in her heart as they 

 kissed. The dark haired girl’s lips were heaven.

 

 Tomoyo’s eyes went wide and her hands fell to her sides. She was completely 

 caught off guard by Sakura’s sudden words. Her spirits soared as the realization 

 of Sakura’s words hit her. Her eyes closed halfway and tears slowly slid down 

 her cheeks. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to do. 

 Tomoyo kissed Sakura back, a dream she’d long held fulfilled in the space of 

 one blissful moment. 

 

 Blushing after they pulled apart, Sakura looked deeply into Tomoyo’s eyes. 

 “Tomoyo-chan, I love you,” she said again. She waited nervously for the other 

 girl’s reply. What if Tomoyo was still mad at her for earlier? What if she 

 decided she didn’t need Sakura? What would happen to the two of them? Sakura 

 banished the thoughts from her mind. She was scared about what might happen 

 now that she’d admitted how she felt, but she pushed those feelings back. She 

 wasn’t going to let it control her. Love was more important than fear. She 

 couldn’t let it stop her.

 

 “Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo’s arms wrapped around the other girl. She’d dreamed 

 of hearing those words over and over for years in her dreams, practicing what 

 she’d say in her mind when she was awake. She just wanted to hold Sakura, to 

 be in her arms forever. “Sakura, I love you so much.”

 

 Sakura smiled. Things would be fine. She and Tomoyo had gotten through so 

 much since they were little kids. They’d always been there for each other. They 

 could make it through this, too. They would together. “Tomoyo-chan, just 

 promise me. Promise me you’ll never leave me,” she said, trying to shake the 

 last images from her dream.

 

 Tomoyo’s heart ached at the serious look on Sakura’s face. She had never 

 wanted to make her sad. “I promise. I love you, Sakura. Forever.”

 

 “Forever,” Sakura repeated, a smile spreading on her lips. She leaned in and 

 kissed Tomoyo again, this time more passionately. The two stayed that way for 

 a long time, kissing and holding each other, neither wanting to let go. After what 

 seemed like an eternity, they finally parted.

 

 “Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said softly. “Don’t go.”

 

 Sakura looked hesitantly back at Tomoyo. Those big dark blue eyes beckoned 

 her to stay. She turned her gaze back to the window. She knew her father and 

 brother would get worried if she wasn’t there when they woke up. And 

 Tomoyo’s mother would probably want an explanation of what she was doing 

 here. Yet, she wanted to stay. Let everything come in the morning,. They could 

 deal with it then. After everything that had happened, she didn’t want to up and 

 leave Tomoyo alone right now. After telling the other girl she was in love with 

 her, there was so much they both wanted to say, to know. She again turned back 

 at Tomoyo. The dark haired girl looked at her hopefully. Sakura reached over 

 and closed the window. Tomoyo smiled brightly. 

 

 As the two lay whispering to each other on Tomoyo’s bed, they let everything 

 poor out. Feelings and emotions, dreams and worries. All the tension from the 

 past few days drained away as the two lay in a tight embrace. They slowly 

 drifted off to sleep in the early hours of the morning. 

 

 The dim outline of Nadeshiko smiled approvingly at the two sleeping girls. An 

 ethereal hand gently brushed through her daughter’s hair. Sakura’s dream had 

 been a frightening one, but in the end it had brought her together with the one 

 she loved. Slowly backing away from the bed, Nadeshiko felt a twinge of guilt 

 for having to put Sakura through that. She had sent the dream as a way to 

 motivate Sakura into revealing her true feelings. She hadn’t wanted to scare her 

 like that, but for Sakura to be happy she had to accept how she felt. She was 

 glad it had wound up so well. She knew her daughter would be fine. She had 

 always looked out for her and now she knew someone else would, too. She 

 smiled to herself as she started to fade away. “Sleep well, Sakura,” she said, her 

 voice hardly above a whisper, before she disappeared.