First Kiss

 by G. P.

 A Sonomi and Nadesico Story

 All characters are the property of Clamp. This work is in no way

 meant to infringe upon their rights.

 

 I.

 "He has to be strong. I want to be kissed by someone strong, who can

 sweep me up in his arms, and protect me like a Princess from a fairy

 tale. And not just strong outside, but inside, too. "

 

 Izumi glanced about the circle, and saw the other girls smiling in

 agreement. Except for Nadesico, who was either distracted or deep in

 thought; it was impossible to tell which. The rest concurred that

 inner and outer strength was a must. The girls at the sleepover had

 gathered in a circle on the floor, debating the necessarry qualities

 of the boy who would give them their first kiss. After what seemed

 hours of debate, Izumi had suggested that each girl state just one

 quality, the one they thought most important. If the group agreed,

 then there would be five characteristics by the end. This, it was

 fervently hoped, would then help reveal to each the boy who would

 bless them with their very first kiss. All eyes now fell on Mayu as

 she distractedly played with a lock of her long, black hair. 

 

 The girls treasured Mayu as a sweet and beautiful soul. She was

 always there to comfort, to support, and to reassure when a friend

 was hurt, or sad, or lonely. Her features were somewhat plain, and

 she was sometimes teased for it by those did not know her well. But

 every girl in the circle would trust her with her heart, or her very

 life. She stared at the plush carpet, meditating quietly on the

 difficult question. Finally, in soft voice she stated firmly,

 

 "He would have to be honest. How could you ever trust somebody who

 wasn't?"

    

 The other girls nodded their heads sagely at Mayu's words. There was

 no doubt that honesty and strength were essential. They waited now

 for Sayaka to speak, but she sat silent, enveloped in a deep, crimson

 blush. Izumi gently elbowed her and teased,

 

 "You're not getting kissed yet, Saya-chan. Come on, its your turn."

 

 Sayaka looked up with glistening blue eyes, fighting off the

 embarrassment and struggling to speak. Though the first of their

 circle to reach the age of 13, she seemed as naive and child-like as

 ever. Endearing and exasperating in turn, they loved her dearly for

 her gentle heart and naive innocence. Looking at the floor again, she

 spoke in a feathery, halting whisper.

 

 "Handsome. I...I know it's silly, but I wouldn't want my first kiss

 to be with someone who wasn't beautiful." 

 

 Had anybody else said this, there would have been giggles and

 smirks. But not with little Sayaka. Besides, the girl was right, for

 all of them prayed for a first kiss with their own ideal of beauty.

 All eyes now turned to Sonomi, who looked aside in embarrassment. She

 was often impatient with games like this, and the others half-

 expected some sarcastic comment on the foolishness of the night's

 proceedings. Though obviously uncomfortable, she spoke with

 surprisingly earnest passion,

 

 "They would have to be kind. Otherwise, I'd be too afraid." 

 

 The other girls looked on in astonishment, for to them Sonomi was a

 tower of strength. She seemed fearless and aloof, untouched by the

 worries that haunted other girls in their daily lives at school.

 Athletic prowess had earned her the nickname, "Diana", the proud

 goddess of the hunt from the Western myths of long ago. That Sonomi

 would so treasure kindness touched them deeply. And it was true. A

 first kiss was a scary thing, and fragile hearts should only be

 offered to those who would treat them gently. Izumi broke the warm

 silence as she looked at the girl nestled next to Sonomi. 

 

 "OK, Nadesico chan. It's your turn. Yo-ho!"

 

 Nadesico turned from gazing out the window, smiling as always. She

 looked pleasantly baffled, but no more than usual. Gathering her

 thoughts, she said,

 

 "Oh. it's my turn?"

 

 The others nodded. For many, the first impression of Nadesico was

 that of a perfect airhead. Her absent-mindedness was legend at the

 school, and nearly everyone had a favorite story to tell. Everyone,

 of course, except her cousin Sonomi, who protected the perpetually

 distracted girl with fierce devotion. Nobody, not the nastiest bully

 or strictest sensei dared say anything about Nadesico in front of

 her. Izumi half-kiddingly held that Nadesico was an angel who had

 unwittingly stumbled onto Earth, "She spends all her time trying to

 remember why she is here, and how to get back again." Izumi's little

 joke rang true, because there was an angelic aura about the strange,

 beautiful girl. And they all loved Nadesico inspite of, or perhaps

 because of, her odd otherworldliness. She loved everyone she met with

 the same effusive sweetness. Invariably all hearts yielded to her

 insistent kindness, and the love she poured forth came back tenfold.

 So the girls were eager and curious to hear her contribution.

 Glancing about the circle of faces, she blinked her large green eyes

 in puzzlement. Izumi suppresed a giggle and reminded her that they

 were each stating the most important quality of the one with whom

 they would share their all-important first kiss. At this, Nadesioco's

 face lit up as she spoke in an excited tone,

 

 "Oh, yes, I remember, sorry, sorry. Umm, that person would have to

 be special. A first kiss is very special, so it would have to be with

 a special person."

 

 The girls looked at one another, and then laughed their agreement.

 Nadesico's logic was unassailable. A first kiss happened once in a

 lifetime, and was a precious gift as well as a golden moment to

 remember forever. It could only happen with someone special. Mayu,

 who had written down each quality, read them off her list,

 

 "So, the person has to be strong, honest, handsome, kind, and

 special, yes? Everybody agrees?" 

 

 All five heads nodded, so Mayu went on,  "And that means, ummm, we,

 ummm..."

 

 Izumi quickly interjected,

 

 "And that means now we have to tell who we want our first kiss to be

 with. And since Nadesico chan was last before, this time she should

 go first!"

 

 As always, Izumi had maneuvered skillfully. Someone else would have

 to go first in revealing such an intimacy. The other girls were

 inwardly relieved, but Nadesico seemed utterly unconcerned as she

 cheerfully exclaimed,

 

 "Oh, that's easy. I knew the answer before we ever started. I want

 my first kiss to be with Sonomi chan."

 

 For once, Izumi was speechless. Sayaka looked puzzled, unsure of

 what Nadesico could possibly mean. Mayu  stared down at her hands as

 if they were the most interesting things in all the world. Sonomi

 blushed a deep crimson and looked away in utter embarrassment. But

 Nadesico simply smiled, oblivious to the pillow that sailed past her

 head as Izumi laughed out,

 

 "Nadesico chan, you are such a weirdo!"

 

 Instantly Sonomi hurled her own pillow at Izumi, practically

 knocking the cackling girl off balance. More pillows flew amid

 squeels of laughter until one tore open and filled the room with a

 blizzard of downy feathers. That brought Izumi’s parents in, and

 resulted in lights out and everyone being tucked away. But it didn’t

 end the whispers and the giggling that lasted far into the night.

 

 II. 

 Walking home from school, the two girls made a peculiar contrast.

 Sonomi strode straight and steady in utter silence as if she were

 struggling for words that didn’t exist. Nadesico, on the other hand,

 meandered from flower to tree to interesting crack in the concrete

 sidewalk, stopping here and hurrying there, engrossed in the luminous

 miracles of the everyday world. Sonomi suddenly noticed that she was

 quite alone, and turned to see her cousin sprawled in the grass,

 smiling at some sort of bug. A yellow and black caterpillar was

 threading it’s way through the grass. Nadesico let it crawl on her

 finger and laughed softly as it tickled it’s way up her arm. Sonomi

 rolled her eyes and stalked back, calling out with feigned impatience,

 

 “Nadesico chan, what on earth are you doing?”

 

 The girl looked up and smiled sweetly. Gently she put the

 caterpillar down and then rose swiftly, dusting off her knees and

 straightening her  pleated skirt. Sometimes she looked gawky and

 clumsy, a danger to herself and others that brought out a protective

 spirit in her cousin. But at other times, like now, her movements

 were as gracefully ethereal as a prima ballerina. It was only one of

 the contradictions that left Sonomi utterly flustered, unable to

 think straight, let alone voice her jumbled thoughts. For years she

 had been her cousin’s best friend, delighting in her presence as the

 two passed dreamily through childhood. Now her feelings were sharper

 but sweeter, and so intense that some nights she tossed and turned

 until the sun chased the moon away. Sometimes the very sight of

 Nadesico set her heart racing wildly, and plunged her into a joyful

 embarrassment. She looked at the beautiful, gray-haired girl and

 suddenly blurted out the question that had obsessed her since the

 night at Izumi’s,

 

 “Nadesico chan, why did you say what you did at the sleepover?”

 

 As soon as she said it, Sonomi felt regret. A hot crimson blush

 spread over her neck and shoulders. But Nadesico blinked her lovely

 blue eyes and asked in a puzzled voice,

 

 “What did I say?”

 

 Sonomi fought the urge to drop the entire matter, and with a steel

 will forced out the words,

 

 “That you wanted your first kiss…to be with me.”

 

 Now poor Nadesico looked completely bewildered. She furrowed her

 brow and looked at Sonomi helplessly, as if the question concerned

 some arcane formulae of quantum physics. Perhaps repeating the

 question would help, so she asked,

 

 “Why did I say it?”

 

 Sonomi nodded her head vigorously. Nadesico smiled and answered in a

 matter-of-fact voice,

 

 “Because it’s true.”

 

 Sonomi gaped at her in silent wonder. Nadesico spoke earnestly in

 her odd, sing song voice,

 

 “A first kiss should be special. That means it has to be with a

 special person. No one is more special to me than Sonomi chan.”

 

 Breathing raggedly, Sonomi abruptly turned away and stared at the

 horizon. She felt delighted and frightened by her cousin’s words.

 Still looking into the distance, unable to face those shimmering

 azure eyes, she whispered,

 

 “Nadsico chan, we’re both girls. We’re cousins.”

 

 “Um-hmm.” Nadesico replied distractedly, as if she were merely

 confirming simple facts, which indeed she was. Sonomi realized that

 such conventions as girls only kissing boys had simply never occurred

 to Nadesico. Sonomi swallowed hard and managed to stammer out,

 

 “But when, where would we….” Her voice trailed off into silence.

 Nadesico perked up, and started rummaging through her book bag.

 Triumphantly she pulled out an astonishingly kawaii calendar book,

 decorated with massive pink ribbons and plush red hearts. The pages

 fluttered as she leafed through them. Finally, she announced in a

 cheery voice,

 

 “Sunday after next is a full moon, and the sakuras should be in

 bloom. How about at the Park, under the cherry trees? Can you come to

 my house at 8:00 PM?”

 

 Sonomi could only nod her head yes. Suddenly Nadesico threw her arms

 around her and hugged tightly. Then she picked up her book bag and

 looked at Sonomi, all smiles. Still stunned, the red-haired girl

 turned and started to walk home, but her cousin wandered over to a

 hedge, enraptured by the stately progression of snails on the dark,

 green leaves.

 

 III. 

 Sonomi rummaged through the contents of her closet one more time.

 The pink dress was too much. The black skirt with a white silk blouse

 was nice, but just so plain. In frustration, she slumped down on the

 edge of the bed and thought,  

 

 "I don't know what to wear for this. I don't have any idea. This is

 just crazy. Nobody decides they will have their first kiss like this.

 It's like being on....on a date or something." Suddenly inspired,

 Sonomi exclaimed,

 

 "OK, that's it, I'll just wear what I would on a date!"

 

 But the girl had never been on a date, either, so this proved to be

 of little help. She glanced at the clock on her dresser and grimaced.

 Being a naturally punctual and organized person, she was rarely late

 to anything. To be late for this was just not acceptable. With a

 determined look she got up and stood in front of the rack of clothes

 and began to think about what would be right.

 

 "It should be mature, but pretty. And it should match the sakura

 blossoms." She placed her finger to her lips and squinted at the row

 of clothing. Suddenly, her eyes caught the coral dress and she

 snatched it from the rack and ran to the mirror, holding it in front

 of herself. Perfect! Breathing a sigh of relief, she rushed for the

 shower, quickly considering what shoes to wear.

 

 Walking to Nadesico's house, Sonomi struggled to sort out the

 complex feelings she had for her cousin. They had been the closest of

 friends ever since they were little girls. Normally high-strung,

 Sonomi always felt perfect contentment in her presence, a calm,

 peaceful sense that everything was all right. She felt safe with the

 girl, confident enough to tell her anything without fear. Nadesico

 was a gentle, sympathetic listener, and for all her flightiness

 offered perceptive and insightful advice. So the red-haired girl

 shared all her secrets, save one: her love. She had always loved

 Nadesico, and her alone. But lately, that love had changed,

 blossoming, from a cute little bud to a lush, sensuous, tropical

 flower. All her friends had their crushes, their hidden passions and

 desires. Most of it seemed silly to Sonomi, who scoffed at such

 school girl melodramatics. But her own love mocked her. It shook her

 skeptical heart and whispered, "Oh, so I'm not important, am I?

 Something childish, that you'll soon outgrow, neh? We'll see, Sonomi-

 chan, we'll see. Before I'm done, I'll set you on fire and break your

 heart."

 

 And it was true. Recently love had become a passionate yearning she

 could not still, a painfully sweet longing that distracted and

 confused her. It was heaven, and it was hell. Sometimes, late at

 night she lay in bed and whispered her name, over and over, just to

 hear of the sound of it, "Nadesico.....Nadesico.....Nah-deh-shih-co."

 She played ridiculous games like "She loves me, she loves me not".

 She kept little treasures: notes passed in class, birthday cards, and

 a garland of grass and flowers from years ago, now brown and dry but

 still a crown fit for a princess because she had made it. In school,

 her grades had slipped, worrying her parents. Sonomi couldn't

 concentrate; she kept glancing towards the desk by her side, at the

 beautiful, silver-haired girl who smiled back so sweetly. Nadesico

 was all she thought about, cared for, wanted. In the last year it had

 gotten even worse. It was as if her body was no longer hers, but some

 alien presence with a will and a mind and desires all its own. Out of

 nowhere she would cry for no discernable reason. One minute she was

 hot and feverish, the next cold and shivering.   Her body ached with

 a helpless longing that terrified her. And now this. Now, she was

 walking to see Nadesico, to kiss her.

 

 Unlike most of her friends, Sonomi had never thought much about a

 future love life. Yes, she would no doubt marry, and have a family

 like everybody else. But for the red-haired girl marriage was of

 little interest, and certainly not the topic of ecstatic speculation

 that obsessed other girls her age. But now, her feelings confronted

 her with the question of just what to do. What if I love her, but she

 doesn’t love me? She sensed that Nadesico did love her, but not in

 the same way. Nadesico loved everybody and everything. Yet, she had

 said Sonomi was special, words that set her spirit soaring even as

 she blushed in embarrassment.. And why, if she does not love me like

 that, does she want to kiss me? The more Sonomi thought about it, the

 more confused she became. She would have to ask the girl. Tonight.

 She had to know.  Approaching the house, she breathed deeply and

 clutched the pink sweater tightly around her body. She looked at her

 watch: 8 PM exactly. Willing herself to knock, she quickly heard a

 commotion inside as her cousin sang out,

 

 “I’ve got it!   

 

 The door swung open, and there stood Nadesico. The warm light from

 inside the house formed a glowing aura all around her. She was wore a

 delicate, ankle length white dress with long sleeves. The collar and

 waistline were embroidered with exquisite lacework, and the dress

 flared out from the waist with narrow pleats. White petticoats and

 slips gave the dress a full, flowing look. Around her slender neck

 was a simple white ribbon worn as a choker. Her long,  silver-black

 hair was entwinned with white daisies, and cascaded over her

 shoulders. Her pale face was framed by the dark, scenetd hair, and

 her green eyes shone with gentle passion. Sonomi stood transfixed,

 her breath stolen away by the dazzling vision. Nadesico bowed with

 mock solemnity and cheerfully sang out,

 

 "Konbanha, Sonomi-chan"

 

 Sonomi felt herself dragged from a dream, and spoke haltingly as she

 returned the bow,

 

 "Konbanha, Nadesico-chan. You look...so beautiful."

 

 The girl took both of Sonomi's hands in her own and spoke in her

 feathery voice,

 

 "Arigato, Sonomi-chan. You look so lovely, too. Shall we go?"

 

 Coloring crimson at her cousin's touch, Sonomi could only nod hr

 head. Suddenly, the pale girl let out a little gasp and whirled

 about, muttering half to herself,

 

 "I almost forget! The bentoubako....there it is" Giggling, she

 grabbed the enormous lunchbox, her white Hello Kitty sweater, and

 dashed out the door. Smiling at her startled cousin she announced, "I

 thought we might like a little snack." Turning to the house she

 shouted, "I'm going now!" 

 

 Sonomi frowned, "That looks heavy. Let me carry it."

 

 Nadesico shook her head and smiled, holding the bundle tightly. With

 that, the two began their walk to the park As usual, Nadesico was

 fascinated by all that she could see. She walked erratically,

 starting and stopping as one thing after another gained her

 attention. The night was comfortably cool, and the stars shone bright

 before moonrise. Sonomi moved in a daze, enraptured by the celestial

 apparition beside her. Nadesico's dress make swishy sounds as she

 walked, following the odd rythms of her perpetually distracted pace.

 Finally they approached the park and turned into the entrance. With

 the exception of a few couples, the walkway was deserted. Nadesico

 led the way, though in her usual circuitous manner. Sonomi followed,

 still entranced. Finally the dark-haired girl found a spot she liked

 under the sakura trees, and busilly began unpacking the wrapping of

 the lunch boxes. It was a beautiful pink and white silk, which she

 carefully spread on the grass like a blanket. She knelt on both knees

 and smiled as Sonomi sat down accross from her. Nadesico let out a

 little sigh, and pointed to the horizon, where a great yellow moon

 was slowly rising into the sky. Sonomi loked and nodded, feeling a

 rush of emotions as she struggled to speak. But before she could, her

 cousin chirrped,

 

 "Are you hungry? I wanted to make cookies, but they got sort of

 burned. But I did make some rice balls, and there's pickles, oh, and

 some fruit, too. Plums and grapes, I think. And tea, green tea. we

 should have that while it's hot." In a flurry she produced the little

 delicacies, plates, cups, and thermos. She laid the feast out

 prettilly on the silken cloth, a heartfelt offering to her cousin.

 Sonomi noticed that the rice balls were poorly shaped, and smiled as

 she imagined the billowing smoke of the burning cookies. Like her

 other home made presents, it was so typical of Nadesico. She was far

 from talented as a cook or a homemaker. But what she made was imbued

 with love and enthusiasm, and fortunate were those who received her

 tender little gifts. Though not hungry in the least, Sonomi politely

 nibbled as her eyes scanned the blossoming cherry trees above her.

 Her cousin, crunching on a pickled daikon, looked up and smiled at

 the sight of thousands of flowers.

 

 "Aren't they gorgeous, Sonomi-chan? I've always loved the

 sakura.flowers. I love how they fall from the branch in full bloom,

 never withering or growing old and sad on the trees. You know, if I

 have a daughter, that's what I'll name her: Sakura." 

 

 Sonomi smiled back at her cousin, but thought to herself that there

 were flowers she liked better. There was something haunting about

 cherry trees, about a beauty so ephemeral and fragile. For some

 reason this thought bothered her, and she shifted uneasilly as

 Nadesico gracefully poured the steaming, hot tea. Sonomi craddled the

 little round cup in her hands and felt the warmth of it in the cool

 night air. She sipped the pungent green tea, liquid sunshine brewed

 just perfectly. She looked at Nadesico, who glanced up at the heavens

 with child-like wonder. Sonomi trembled, but from the cold or the

 sight of her beautiful cousin all clad in white she did not know. As

 the stars persued their stately courses, the two girls talked on into

 the night. Nadesico was bright and cheerful as always, wondering if

 flowers slept when they closed their petals for the evening, or if

 stars talked to one another to keep from being lonely. In a wistful

 voice she said,

 

 "Sometimes I talk to the stars, but it's hard to hear them."

 

 Sonomi looked at the girl in wonder, then smiled. Only Nadesico

 would ever say such a thing. But if the stars listened to anybody on

 earth, it was probably her. Being with her was always such joy, her

 very presence magical. But Sonomi felt terribly nervous, remembering

 the purpose of this curious picnic in the dark. Finally she could

 hold it in no more, and spoke to up in a quivering, earnest voice,

 

 "Nadesico-chan, may I ask you a question?"

 

 The girl smiled and nodded, and Sonomi went on, forcing the words

 out in a rush,

 

 "Why do you want to kiss me?"

 

 Unable to face her saying this, she bowed her head and stared at the

 little dishes on the billowing silk. Her eyes averted, she didn't see

 Nadesico's tender smile as she replied,

 

 "Well, you know it's my first kiss, and that has to be with someone

 special. Sonomi-chan is my most special person. But I told you that

 already. So, should I tell you why you're special?"

 

 The red-haired girl was silent, so Nadesico continued,

 

 "Well, Sonomi-chan is the strongest person I know. She's never

 afraid of anything. I always feel safe with her, and know she would

 protect me from anything that would hurt me. 

 

 And Sonomi-chan is honest. Sometimes other people are a puzzle, and

 they say things they do not mean, or hide things they do not say. But

 I always know Sonomi-chan's heart. I know that whatever she says is

 true.

 

 Sonomi-chan is the kindest person I know. She is gentle, and caring,

 and my heart feels cherished by her."

 

 "Sonomi-chan is all of these wonderful things, but she is also the

 most beautiful person I have ever seen. Sometimes I think about those

 green eyes and soft red hair and smooth, pale skin, and hanyaan! I

 forget everything I am doing. Seeing her now in the moonlight just

 now made me forget everything except how happy I am to be with her."

 

 At this Nadesico paused, and closed her eyes. 

 

 "But I don't need silly games from a sleepover to know why I want my

 first kiss to be with Sonomi-chan. I knew it a long time ago, maybe

 even when I first saw her. I want to kiss her because I love her more

 than anybody."

 

 Looking up, Sonomi saw Nadesico's azure eyes opening again, and the

 startled look as she beheld her tears. A rare look of worry clouded

 the dark-haired girl's face as she asked,

 

 "Sonomi-chan, are you all right? I'm so sorry, did I make you cry?"

 

 Sonomi peered through teary eyes and smiled radiently, 

 

 "Baka. I'm not sad. I've never been so happy in all my life."

 

 Nadsico smiled again, and reached out, gently brushing away the hot

 tears with delicate fingers. Her hand lingered on Sonomi's cheek, and

 she gazed into her shimmering emerald eyes. Slowly, as if in a dream,

 Nadesico leaned over, her body a delicate white arch bathed in the

 moonlight. Sonomi breathed deeply as the girl's pale face came

 closer, her eyes half-shut, her hair a cascading flood of liquid

 silver. Their lips brushed ever so lightly, and Sonomi felt an

 electric thrill streak through her shivering frame. Then their lips

 met, gently at first, tenderly exploring, quivering with the soft

 sensations that poured out from deep within. Sonomi tasted the

 sweetest nectar as Nadesico's tongue playfully parted her yielding,

 pink petals. The red-haired girl trembled, dizzy and breathless,

 wracked by an indescribable ecstasy. They melted into one another in

 a ravishing embrace, shuddering sweetly in each other's tender arms.

 Suspended in an eternal moment, waves of passion swept over them like

 an ocean storm, then slowly subsided as the ebbing tide. Finally they

 parted, Sonomi breathing raggedly, her body still afire, shivering in

 the chilly breeze that shook the trees and rained blossoms down upon

 them in a delicate, pink monsoon. 

 

 Sonomi felt floaty and wonderful, her body as delightfully

 weightless as a feather in the wind. Her first kiss! She felt a giddy

 whirl of emotions, the vibrant throbbing of her heart, and the dewy,

 lingering presence of Nadesico's lips. She hugged herself tightly,

 and sighed in sheer joy. She glanced up, and was startled to see

 Nadesico sitting beside her. The dark-haired girl smiled

 enigmatically as she ran her fingers through Sonomi's short silky,

 hair. Sonomi's eyes grew wide as her cousin delicately traced the

 outline of her still wet lips, then gently caressed her tear-stained

 cheek. She caught the scent of sakuras as Nadesico leaned closer, her

 lashes fluttering. Their lips met in a another rapturous kiss that

 plunged Sonomi into sugar-sweet darkness. As moonlight trickled

 through the branches, illumining  the two lovers in an intimate glow,

 Sonomi dimly realized that Nadesico wanted more with her cousin than

 just a first kiss. Here under the cherry blossoms was a second kiss,

 quickly followed by a third, and a fourth. And here, under the 

 delicate flowers, and in countless other places as well, there would

 be many, many more. 

     

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Izumi

 Sayaka

 Mayu