Dear Sakura

 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.

 amazonessduo@hotmail.com

 pearsong1954@yahoo.com

 

 

 	Bbbrrrrinnng.... Bbbrrrriiinnng.... Bbbbrrrrriiiinnng....

 	Tomoyo rolled over in her sleep, her long dark hair covering her

 pale form like a sinuous shadow. She stirred as the phone continued

 to ring at her in the silence, finally sitting up in the darkened

 room. She was lying on the couch in her little home theater room, a

 video of Sakura still playing in the background. She was still

 wearing her busines clothes from the day before, not having had the

 will to change out of them. Her tired mind quickly located the source

 of the ringing and she slowly reached out for the phone. Who could be

 calling her at this hour? Her fingers paused just before touching the

 phone as if it had suddenly become a venomous snake, its ringing the

 deadly rattle of a beast about to lunge out and bite her. She was

 filled with a deep and foreboding dread at who may be on the other

 end. 'Leave it. You can pretend that you were asleep. It's late and

 no one will mind,' she thought to herself. But she knew that she

 couldn't do that. Whoever would be calling this late at night must

 have a terribly urgent reason. She couldn't just ignore it. 

 	"Moshi moshi..." Tomoyo heard herself say, but the voice didn't

 sound like her own. It was cracked and pained, as if it still held

 countless unshed tears. Her fingers trembled as she held the phone to

 her ear, brushing back dark hair that got in the way. Her dread was

 growing by the second as she waited for what felt like an eternity

 for an answer. For a second, she felt the beginnings of relief begin

 to brush lightly at her bruised and battered soul. It must have been

 a wrong number. But her relief quickly turned to mute horror as an

 all too familiar voice answered her.

 	"Tomoyo-chan!!" an uberly genki voice called out. "Tomoyo-chan, I

 was so worried. I couldn't get through earlier and I didn't know if

 you would be there or not. I just... You see, I was in the garden

 and... Well, remember how you kissed me?" A giggle before she

 continued. "Well, I finally... Ummm... Can I come over?" Sakura

 sweatdropped on the other end of the phone. She felt like a guilty

 schoolgirl asking permission to go over to a friend's house to do

 anything but study. That thought was silly and awkward for her, but

 she couldn't help it. Being back home had felt almost like she had

 travelled back in time. She hadn't been in the house more than a few

 minutes before calling the Daidouji household. She could hear Touya

 making tea in the kitchen and silently thanked her older brother for

 all of his help.

 	The phone clattered to the floor, dropping from Tomoyo's numb

 hands. She stared at the deadly viper that had indeed reached out and

 bit her. How could it be Sakura? Her letter couldn't have gotten to

 her already, could it? Tomoyo wasn't even completely packed yet. She

 hadn't planned on moving out for another two days. And how could

 Sakura be in Tomoeda? She should be in Hong Kong at that very moment,

 snuggling with her husband. This was wrong. This was all wrong. It

 completely shattered Tomoyo's painstakingly crafted plans to fade

 from Sakura's life as well as her mother's. She felt trapped, caged

 in on all sides by imposing iron bars. How could she escape her

 torment if Sakura would not allow it?

 	"Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura's voice asked, concern tinging her exuberance. 

 	Tomoyo realized only dimly that Sakura had been waiting on the

 other end while the phone had lain uselessly on the floor. She

 reached out slowly, picking up the cold plastic once more. Her eyes

 flickered to the screen that was still showing her beautiful second

 cousin flying through the air like an angel. The angel had finally

 come for her, and she had nowhere to flee. She searched desperately

 for her soft voice, one that had served her well for years as a

 member of the choir, but was frustrated to find it having suddenly

 gone missing. What disturbed her even more was that she had begun

 crying moments earlier and hadn't even realized it. Wet tears slipped

 past her cheek and against the telephone as she held it tightly. She

 briefly remembered the cute pink cell phones that she had gotten from

 her mother to stay in contact with Sakura. They had been a wonderful

 tether for the two girls, offering Sakura with a constant link to her

 loving and supportive friend and giving Tomoyo a link to the

 beautiful girl of her dreams. It had been a wonderful thing for both

 of them, giving Sakura a way to always turn to her best friend and

 Tomoyo a way to bask in Sakura's presence even when they were far

 apart. It had worked so well, in fact, that Tomoyo had given Syaoran

 one of the cute cell phones so that he and Sakura may be able to

 share that same bond. Hadn't that been the start of all this? No,

 no... The start of all this had been the gift of a small eraser a

 lifetime ago.

 	"Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura repeated, this time listening intently for

 her best friend. She thought she could hear short, ragged breaths, as

 if someone was short of air, and what sounded like sniffling. "Tomoyo-

 chan?"

 	'She can't hear me like this. It will ruin everything. She'll never

 let me go if she knows how I feel. And it will destroy Sakura-chan's

 fairy tale. Her beautiful new life will crumble. All because of me. I

 can't do that to Sakura-chan. I can't stay because I... can't...

 handle... it....' Tomoyo thought frantically, her shaking fingers

 quickly wiping her tears away. It did little to soothe the cold and

 broken shards of her heart. 'If I stay, it'll kill both of us, Sakura-

 chan. I can't be a part of your life anymore. Seeing you, loving you,

 knowing that I can't be a part of your heart, it's killing me. It's

 killing me and I won't let it kill you, too.' When she finally spoke,

 her voice came out weakly, a pale shadow of it's normal gentle self.

 It sounded sorrowful in Tomoyo's ears and she immediately cut herself

 off, closing her lavender eyes tightly. 'Hang up!' part of her cried,

 but she knew she couldn't. Sakura was like the Syren from long ago,

 luring her towards grave dangers that she couldn't force herself to

 escape from. She needed to answer Sakura. And soon. But she didn't

 know how. If Sakura heard her crying, then her farewell letter would

 be for naught. Sakura would know the pain that resided in her heart

 and they would both be doomed. With a supreme effort, the pale ghost

 of a girl gathered the splintered shards of her masks, cutting her

 soul in the process as she pulled them up for one final act. But

 would they be enough? Were these tiny shards enough to hide the pain

 she was in? "Sakura-chan..." her soft voice whispered into the phone.

 The pain was still glaringly evident in Tomoyo's ears, but she hoped

 that the brunette wouldn't hear it. The ocean of tears underneath her

 voice's surface wasn't gone exactly, but it was muted, as if a large

 tarp had been thrown over it.

 	The auburn haired girl on the other end of the line sighed in

 relief. She had thought that the line had disconnected or that, even

 more irrationally, Tomoyo had finally made good on her words.

 'Goodbye,' echoed through Sakura's mind in Tomoyo's sweet voice,

 surrounding her like a sad song from long ago. It anchored Sakura's

 heart with painful chains and hooks. But Sakura struggled forward

 despite the immense weight on her heart. She was here now. Tomoyo

 couldn't leave or fade away. She would finally fulfill her promise.

 'I knew Sakura-chan would come and rescue me,' Tomoyo had said an

 eternity before. And Sakura had finally come to rescue her fair

 skinned damsel in distress. "I'm here, Tomoyo-chan," she said again,

 not noticing that she was speaking out loud. She blushed slightly,

 but continued on. "I'm glad to hear you. I was so worried about you.

 I got your letter in the mail today... well, yesterday... Anyway, I

 got your letter and I had to come see you. Tomoyo-chan..." her voice

 caught in her throat as she blinked back crystal tears. "I don't want

 you to go. I need you, Tomoyo-chan. I need to talk to you. Right now.

 I'm going to be over in a few minutes, okay? Just unlock your window

 and I'll be there as soon as I can," the Cardmistress said quickly. 

 	Sakura was too flustered to sleep, her heart's recent revelation

 too much to keep inside for herself. It longed to be offered up as a

 gift to the woman who had been there for Sakura every step of the way

 through her life. But she couldn't do that over the phone. Words

 weren't Sakura's strong point. She always went on her emotions. She

 couldn't even understand her emotions half the time. But she knew

 that the woman on the other end of the phone knew her emotions

 perfectly, as if she could read Sakura the same way others read a

 good book. She had the eye of an artist, but one that was attuned to

 the human soul. No one else understood her like Tomoyo. No one else

 could hope to. But there was one thing that even Tomoyo hadn't been

 able to uncover. The glistening love that lay shrouded in the curious

 mists of Sakura's heart. Now that Sakura had finally understood it,

 she wanted to go to her gentle best friend and to tell her the

 deliscious secret she had learned. 

 	Of course, she didn't know if Tomoyo would accept her tentative

 offering of love or even how she would react. The eccentric young

 woman held so much love in her heart that its depth felt endless and

 all encompassing, like a warm, deep ocean. She knew that much from

 the love Tomoyo had always showered on her. It may have been

 embarrassing at times, but Sakura would never have wished it away. In

 fact, being without it during her months in Hong Kong had felt like

 she had been exiled to a barren and empty desert. She knew that

 Tomoyo's warm and giving heart had a very special someone at it's

 core, but she knew not who that person was. She only knew that if

 they couldn't love her dear, sweet Tomoyo, then they were undeserving

 of the lavender haired woman's boundless love. And Sakura would try

 her hardest to take away all of Tomoyo's pain, to love her with all

 of her heart. She may not be Tomoyo's special someone, but she would

 more than try to make up for it. She would love Tomoyo with all of

 her heart and soul and try to make everything, for once, all right.

 	Tomoyo didn't know how much time had gone by as she sat on the

 floor of her room in the dark, her legs curled under her and her

 tearstained eyes still focused on the moving images of Sakura on the

 screen in front of her. Panic consumed her, a viscious monster that

 had snagged her in it's fangs. Her clothes were only half packed, her

 airplane tickets not for another two days. Sakura had caught her in

 the midst of her plan to fade away from her life, and like a breath

 on a house of cards, it all came tumbling down. Sakura couldn't come

 now, not with the state she was in. It was all Tomoyo could do to

 clutch onto the few remaining shards of the illusions she used to

 hide her pain from those she loved. If Sakura saw her.... "Sakura-

 chan...  I can't see you... Not now. Today was such a long day and I

 can't keep my eyes open much longer." And it was true. She couldn't

 keep her eyes open without tears cascading down her pale cheeks.

 	Blinking in confusion, Sakura listened to Tomoyo words once again

 in her mind. That didn't sound like her happily eccentric best

 friend. She knew that Tomoyo had stayed up quite often on costumes or

 videotapes and the like. Besides, Sonomi was the businesswoman in the

 family. She was the one who threw herself into her work. And even

 then, she would throw that aside when her daughter needed her. And

 there was something else as well, as if there were little broken ice

 crystals in Tomoyo's voice, threaded through the lavender haired

 woman's melodious voice. This took Sakura completely by surprise. She

 hadn't thought of the possibility that Tomoyo might not be ready for

 her to visit as soon as she reached Tomoeda. She was almost as

 shocked by the lack of Tomoyo's usual embarrassing comments. No

 'Sakura-chan's lovely voice is like a dream', 'All of Tomoeda must be

 ecstatic to know that Sakura-chan is back again', or even 'Isn't Hong

 Kong missing Sakura-chan's beautiful face?'. They had always caused

 such a flurry of emotions in her, but the lack of her best friend's

 adoring remarks left her in silence.

 	Covering the phone as she choked back a sob, Tomoyo tried

 desperately to think. She couldn't let Sakura see her like this,

 teary eyed and broken. It would crush the energetic Cardmistress's

 spirits. She was like a shattered China doll lying upon the floor.

 Wasn't it better for Sakura to think that her favorite China doll was

 simply elsewhere than finding it broken and smashed? Pulling together

 the last bit of her strength, Tomoyo could feel her tears burning at

 her eyes as she kept her voice as level and soft as she could. Her

 tattered heart heaved in her chest as she hung onto her crystalline

 mask shards until her soul cried out. "Sakura-chan needs her beauty

 sleep so that she will be gorgeous and genki when the morning comes,"

 she said at last, and was relieved to hear it sound as obsessive and

 adoring as ever. 

 	That seemed to relax Sakura on the other end of the phone, calming

 some of her worries for her dark haired friend. Sakura sighed,

 hugging her knees to her chest as she held onto the phone. "Are you

 sure, Tomoyo-chan? I... I really want to see you." She had been

 waiting so long. Ever since they had said farewell at the airport,

 Sakura had been longing to see her friend again, to hold her, to love

 her, and to kiss her. To make sure that things would truly be all

 right. That feeling had become even stronger since discovering the

 love within her for her blue eyed friend. Tomoyo had been all she had

 thought about on the flight out and the ride home. Things like her

 marriage and what would happen when they met failed to concern her.

 All she knew was that she had to be with Tomoyo again. To lose

 herself in the sweet scent of her long, luscious hair. To feel her

 gentle embrace, and her warm lips. She wanted to give Tomoyo her

 entire heart, to offer it on a beautiful platter of silver and

 emeralds. What Tomoyo would do with her gift was entirely up to her.

 But Sakura knew that she had to give her most precious Christmas

 present to Tomoyo soon.

 	The dark haired woman waited in silence for a long moment, trying

 to regulate her breathing. This was even more difficult than when

 Sakura had complained about the butterflies in her stomach while

 Tomoyo had helped her into her wedding gown. That had been a very

 traumatic experience for the young heiress. Helping Sakura into the

 intricately designed and lovingly crafted dress, her own heart

 pouring out to the auburn haired woman as she tried to soothe

 Sakura's worries over marrying someone else had been one of the

 hardest moments in her life. Part of her had wanted to confess her

 love right then, to stand up after helping Sakura with her stockings,

 to look her in the eyes and tell her 'You don't have to be afraid,

 Sakura-chan. I love you.' But even that now seemed like nothing

 compared to this bitter struggle with her emotions. She knew that she

 had strings around Sakura, that she had since they had been small

 children. Sakura was so loving, so trusting, and she had such faith

 in Tomoyo. Tomoyo knew that she could use that to manipulate Sakura

 like a marionette on it's strings. Sakura would listen to whatever

 she had to say, always trusting her dark haired friend. But Tomoyo

 had never used that for her own gain. Well, aside from getting Sakura

 into her costumes and videotaping her. Tomoyo's gentle heart would

 not allow her to use Sakura in such a way. So she had merely used her

 influence on the brunette to gently nudge her heart in the right

 direction, to help her through all of the obstacles life placed

 before the Cardmistress. She now had to try and keep Sakura from

 coming to her, though the longing in the brunette's voice broke

 Tomoyo's already shattered heart into further pieces. Taking a deep

 breath, Tomoyo fought back her tears as she continued. "It really has

 been a long day, Sakura-chan, especially if you've been on a plane

 for so long. Please get some rest. When next I see Sakura-chan, I

 want to see her emerald eyes sparkling happily as she laughs with

 joy."

 	Sakura smiled softly as she held the phone to her ear. Just hearing

 Tomoyo's voice made her feel better. "Yeah, I guess you're right,

 Tomoyo-chan. I can wait till the morning. That would probably be

 better anyway. I have a lot I need to tell you." Slumping back on the

 bed, Sakura moved an athletic leg into the air as she yawned. It

 really had been a long flight. And it would probably be better if she

 could actually decide what she wanted to say to Tomoyo. Not that she

 was ever very good with such things. As Tomoyo had told her before,

 she should simply speak her heart. She nodded in silent agreement to

 her best friend. She would speak her heart when she saw Tomoyo the

 next day. "Okay. Thanks, Tomoyo-chan. I'm so glad to hear you again.

 I really missed you. Please sleep well, okay? I'll see you early

 tomorrow."

 	"Sweet dreams, Sakura-chan. Dream of the most beautiful angels,"

 Tomoyo's soft voice whispered quietly on the other end. And with a

 slow click, she was gone.

 	Lying back in bed, Sakura stared straight up. She wasn't looking at

 the ceiling so much as she was looking through it, as if it wasn't

 there. She had wanted to see Tomoyo that night, but the lavender

 haired woman had made sense. Besides, it was better for Tomoyo to

 hear what Sakura had to say when she was rested. Sakura, on the other

 hand, was pretty sure that she couldn't sleep. She had slept off and

 on during the plane ride and in the car with Touya. On top of that,

 her mind was still buzzing with excitement over being back in

 Tomoeda, of being so close to realizing her hearts secret desires.

 The thoughts of once again basking in that sweet love that she had

 taken for granted during the years she and Tomoyo had been friends

 sounded exhilerating. She let out a warm sigh. "Hanyaan..." It had

 always been there, but she had overlooked it as something that would

 forever be a part of her life. Now she knew that Tomoyo was its

 source, the reason behind so many of her happy childhood memories,

 and throughout her adolescence. Tomoyo had bloomed like a gorgeous

 flower, and like a beautiful gardener had coaxed Sakura into becoming

 a very pretty young woman, always nurturing her heart and soul with a

 warmth that Sakura could search the world over for and never find

 again. Sakura felt blessed to have grown up with such love in her

 life. 

 	But if Tomoyo's heart belonged to another, to her special someone,

 then how would she react to Sakura's declaration of love? Would it

 bother her? Would Tomoyo put her down gently? Or would she be happy

 to simply be loved by someone for once in her life? And just who was

 this special person anyhow? Tomoyo had first mentioned them when they

 had only been ten year olds. And yet she still spoke of them with the

 same passionate fervor she had always shown for this mysterious

 person. So it had to be someone that Tomoyo had known for years.

 Someone who had been close to her, always there in her life

 throughout all of that time. Someone who Tomoyo thought could never

 love her back. 

 	Sakura sat bolt upright in bed, her emerald eyes wide as a sudden

 realization hit her. She ran down the stairs two at a time, almost

 running full tilt into her older brother as he finished up the tea.

 "Oniichan!! I know who Tomoyo-chan's in love with!"

 	Touya turned around in surprise. He hadn't expected Sakura to find

 out so suddenly on her own. Especially after all the hints Tomoyo had

 dropped over the years and the one's he himself had been dropping

 since the two had turned fourteen. That she would finally come to

 that conclusion after all of this time stunned him. "You do?" he

 asked curiously, holding the two tea cups with the grace that years

 as a waiter, among other things, had afforded him.

 	Sakura nodded energetically, her short hair flying about her face.

 The young woman looked seriously focused, as she could often get when

 faced with a particularly difficult problem. She sighed, blinking her

 emerald green eyes. She wasn't too happy about it, but at least she

 knew. "Tomoyo-chan's in love with one of her bodyguards," she said at

 last, her shoulders slumping. 

 	Staring at Sakura for endless minutes, Touya slowly raised an

 eyebrow. Handing Sakura her cup of tea, he ruffled the younger

 woman's hair. "Good try, monster, but you're going to have to try a

 lot harder than that if you're going to figure out who she's in love

 with." Sighing, the sleep deprived older sibling made his way

 upstairs. 

 	"Hoe.... Why is this so hard?" Sakura asked herself in the empty

 kitchen. Figuring out Tomoyo was certainly a lot more difficult than

 understanding the Sakura Cards. She would have argued with her

 brother, but she simply wasn't in the mood. Taking a sip of the

 flavorful tea, she wondered idly just what she was supposed to do for

 the next... five hours, if she left at eight in the morning. A sudden

 idea struck her like a lightening bolt. Grinning, the Mistress of the

 Cards made her way upstairs. 

 	"Not where is it?" she asked no one in particular as she sifted

 through her bag. She smiled at the Cardcaptor Sakura keychain that

 Tomoyo had had made for Sakura's thirteenth birthday that lay hanging

 on the side. It was one of a kind, the design of the superdeformed

 Sakura completely Tomoyo's while Sonomi had it crafted by her

 company. She pushed it with a finger, watching it swing back and

 forth like a pendulum. Shaking her head, she went back to searching

 and within moments pulled out the object of her search. Tomoyo's half

 finished costume lay unfurled before her, it's dazzling design

 obvious even in that early state of completion. Tomoyo had always

 been making such beautiful things for her. It seemed a shame that

 Tomoyo's final costume design was never to be finished. She

 understood that Tomoyo had wanted her last design for Sakura to be

 the wedding dress, so the lavender haired woman thought it

 unnecessary to finish this final costume. So if Tomoyo couldn't

 finish it, Sakura could. 

 	Smiling to herself, Sakura ran to the other room to get the

 supplies she would need. Sewing wasn't exactly her forte, but she had

 sewn a yukata for Syaoran and she knew that if she tried hard enough,

 she could finish what Tomoyo had begun. It wouldn't be as lovely as

 Tomoyo's delicate work, but it would finally be finished, putting to

 rest at least one of Sakura's worries. This was their work, both

 Tomoyo's and Sakura's. She wanted to show it to her best friend.

 After all of those years of wearing Tomoyo's costumes, blushing all

 different shades of red with the bizarre yet captivating designs,

 this would be a combination of both of their hearts, every stitch

 lovingly etched into the beautiful fabric. Clasping her hands

 together determinedly, Sakura got to work. 

 

 

 	Clutching onto the teddy bear Sakura had sewn for her as a farewell

 present, Tomoyo rocked gently back and forth, whispering a lullaby

 that her mother used to sing to her when she was a little girl. Icy

 tears dripped down her chin, falling onto her little stuffed bear

 named Sakura. She held it tightly, sobbing quietly as the phone lay

 haphazardly a few feet away from her. "I love you so much, Sakura-

 chan... Please forgive me... I don't know what to do, Sakura..." she

 whispered tearfully into bear Sakura's ear. Her whole body felt cold,

 torn apart by countless thorns that snaked around her heart. "Please

 help me..." But no one would come and save her. Not even her darling

 Sakura could save her from the darkness that surrounded her now. If

 the brunette came for her, they were both doomed. Sakura's happy life

 would be ruined and Tomoyo would never be able to survive watching

 Sakura so closely like that, unable to be with her.

 	An even darker thought that crossed her mind was about what Sakura

 had been struggling to say on the phone. What feelings did Sakura

 have for her? What feelings did the Cardmistress understand now? Did

 she know of Tomoyo's love for her? Which meant that Sakura's

 marriage, her beautiful marriage, the child she hadn't yet had, the

 whole life that lay before her was in peril. And all because Tomoyo

 had failed to fade out of Sakura's life properly. 

 	"Sakura-chan, what am I to do?" Tomoyo asked hopelessly, pressing

 her tearstreaked cheek into the soft material of the teddy bear.