"I'll have to say I love you in a song"

     by Sara Jaye

         SaraJNES@aol.com

 

     Wow, who'd have thought my first ever CCS fic would be a songfic? :P But

 that's what it is. In honor of Valentine's Day, I decided to make my writing

 debut with a short, sweet little songfic. It's a Sakura/Tomoyo story *ducks

 flames from Sakura/Syaoran fans*, and it's mostly from Tomoyo's point of

 view. Well, the song is at least, until the last few lines. After that, it

 switches to Sakura's. Parts from Tomoyo's point of view are encased in

 {}'s.

     I used the song "I'll have to say I love you in a song", by Jim Croce.

 Sorry if it's such an obscure one. ^^; I just thought it fit rather well.

     All lyrics are encased in *'s.

     I've never really seen CCS before, and only know a little about the

 manga. So I'm not sure of the time period the storyline covers. In this

 story, Sakura and Tomoyo are 13, but Syaoran and Sakura are (supposedly)

 falling for one another. So if I got any timeline or story elements wrong,

 please let me know.

     Anyways, I think that's enough for the author's notes, ne? :P Now, on

 with the story! ^_^

 

 

 [Disclaimers: CCS, Sakura, Tomoyo, and Syaoran are not mine, the belong to

 CLAMP. This story is for entertainment purposes, so please don't sue me.

 "I'll have to say I love you in a song" is the property of the late, great

 Jim Croce.

 This is a yuri fanfiction, meaning love between 2 girls. If you are either

 (a) homophobic and offended/bothered by this kind of thing or (b) a

 Sakura/Syaoran fan, I suggest you leave now, as you will definitely not like

 this. If you read this and are outraged/disturbed/etc, please do not blame

 me. :P But if none of the above apply to you, enjoy! ^_^]

 

                 ~

 

 *Well, I know it's kind of late,

 I hope I didn't wake you.*

 

     {I hate to call this late. I know you're probably asleep and would hate

 to disturb you or anyone else in the house. So if I did, gomen nasai.}

 

 *But what I got to say can't wait,

 I know you'd understand.*

 

     {I just really needed to tell you this. It's been driving me crazy for

 the longest time and if I put it off any longer, it's sure to kill me. But

 you'll probably understand. You've always been so sweet...among many other

 things.}

 

 *Every time I tried to tell you

 The words just came out wrong.*

 

     {I've tried to say this to you several times, but no matter how hard I

 tried, the words always got caught in my throat. And when I did manage to say

 something, it always came out wrong, like "I love that color on you", or

 "You're very important to me". Even if those things are true...they're not

 what I wanted to say.}

 

 *So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*

 

     {What I'm trying to say, and what I've been trying to say for all this

 time is...I love you, Sakura-chan. I always have, and I always will.}

 

 *Yeah, I know it's kind of strange,

 But every time I'm near you,

 I just run out of things to say.*

 

     {It's so strange. I'm usually so cheerful and talkative around people,

 and you've always been the shy one. Yet every time we're together, this shy,

 awkward feeling comes over me and I get so...tongue-tied. I don't know what

 to say...}

 

 *I know you'd understand.*

 

     {So you'll probably understand what I'm saying...or at least I hope.}

 

 *Every time I tried to tell you

 The words just came out wrong.

 So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*

 

     {People always say that it's better to confess something like this in

 person. But since I obviously can't do that, I've got to tell you over the

 phone. In this message. I just hope nobody else hears this before you do,

 Sakura.}

 

 *(Guitar solo)*

 

     {I can't believe it's come down to this, though...having to tell you my

 true feelings in an answering machine message. Were the little messages I've

 been sending for awhile not getting through? If that's the case...I'm not

 surprised. I love you more than life itself, and I hate to say anything

 negative about you...but you can be so dense sometimes, Sakura-chan. I know

 you've got other important things to worry about, but still...*sigh* Maybe

 it's my fault...maybe I'm being too subtle.

     And the sad thing is...even if you had been able to pick up on the hints,

 I know you couldn't feel the same way towards me as I feel towards you. I

 know you already have someone...I know you're slowly falling in love with

 Syaoran. But that is okay. I want you to be happy above all else, and if he

 makes you happy, then I hope you 2 get together. I want only the best for

 you, Sakura-chan. You deserve it.}

 

 *Every time the time was right,

 All the words just came out wrong.*

 

     {*sigh* Even when the moment was just perfect, I always managed to

 freeze...or he came by...sometimes I feel so frustrated. Why does something

 that should be as simple as this have to be so hard to say? Why?}

 

 *So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*

 

     {As long as you get this message, I'll be satisfied. I just hope...you

 don't feel any differently towards me...}

 

 *Yeah, I know it's kind of late,

 I hope I didn't wake you.*

 

     {Again, if I woke you or your family, gomen nasai. I'll go

 now...Goodnight, Sakura-chan. Sleep well. *voice breaks a little* I love you.

 *hangs up*}

 

 *But there's something that I just got to say.

 I know you'd understand.*

 

     I sneak dowstairs to the answering machine. I could've sworn Tomoyo just

 left me a message...but why? Could I just be imagining things? I walk to the

 table where the machine rests, and the light is flashing. Someone did leave a

 message. I press the "Play" button and listen.

 

 *Every time I tried to tell you

 The words just came out wrong.

 So I'll have to say I love you in a song.*

 

     By the time the message is over, I can't even blink. Did I actually hear

 this? Tomoyo loves me? I must be dreaming...I pinch myself just to be

 sure...this seems so unreal.

     "Ow!" I wince. I'm not dreaming. And now I feel guilty, rather stupid,

 and relieved. She does love me...

     I can't say that I was wishing the exact same thing the whole time. Until

 recently, I only thought of her as my best friend. But lately, I'd been

 noticing her in a different light...for the first time, I'm seeing just how

 wonderful she really is...how beautiful she looks, especially in the

 moonlight on a clear, starry night. And just how much she means to me. But

 I've also had feelings for Syaoran, so I was confused.

     'Not anymore,' I think. Quietly, I go back up to my room. I slip on my

 shoes and jacket, then open the window and climb out. For a minute I consider

 using the power of the Clow cards and flying to her house, but decide not to.

 It'd be too risky. Shivering, I quickly walk to Tomoyo's house.

 

     Standing outside, I gaze into her window. It's dark, and the blinds are

 drawn almost all the way. She's probably asleep...I consider going back and

 just leaving her a message. 'No,' I tell myself. 'You owe it to both her and

 yourself to tell her in person.' I sigh, then pick up a tiny pebble and throw

 it up at her window, hoping not to wake her mother or her bodyguards. As I

 see her get out of bed and walk to the window, I feel my heart pounding in my

 chest. 'Please understand, Tomoyo-chan,' I pray.

     "Sakura-chan?" she yawns, rubbing her eyes and looking very surprised to

 see me. "Hi...can I talk to you?" I ask shyly. She nods, tossing a rope out

 the window. I climb up as fast as I can, then practically fall into the room,

 shivering.

     "You must be freezing," she says sympathetically, and wraps a blanket

 around my shoulders. "Thanks," I whisper. She smiles. "No problem," she says,

 settling down next to me on the bed. The next few minutes are silent.

     "What did you want to talk to me about?" she asks. I take a deep breath,

 then look at her. "I got your message." She blushes, and almost looks

 panicked.

     "You did?" she nearly cries out. I nod. "I see..." She looks down.

     "And?"

     "And...now I understand. And I'm very sorry for not seeing it

 before...for not picking up on your hints, and for not realizing I felt the

 same way." She blinks.

     "You mean...?" I nod. My heart beats faster, and I can barely get the

 words out. But somehow, I manage.

     "Aishiteru, Tomoyo-chan," I whispered. For a minute, she doesn't answer.

 Then she turns to me, her eyes shiny and that beautiful smile spreading

 across her face.

     "Sakura-chan..." she whispers. Several tears of joy run down her cheeks.

 I reach up and gently brush them away with my fingertips, then take her in my

 arms. "I-I just can't believe this...I never thought you could feel the same

 way," she chokes. I look into her eyes, my own sparkling with happiness.

     "I only wish I'd known my own feelings sooner," I whisper. She smiles and

 snuggles closer.

     "It's okay. I'm just happy I finally told you," she sighs. "I love you so

 much...finding out you feel the same way is just...more than I ever dreamed

 possible." Then she looked a little concerned. "What about Syaoran?" she

 asked.

     "He's just a good friend. I thought I loved him, but it was only a

 schoolgirl crush," I told her. We gaze into each other's eyes. She wraps her

 arms around my chest, looking deliriously happy.

     "I love you, Sakura-chan," she whispers.

     "And I love you." I lean my head in slightly, as does she. Our eyes

 close, and our lips slowly meet.

 

                 ~End~

 

     Wow, that was a bit longer than I expected! ^^ But it was pretty damn fun

 to write. Sakura and Tomoyo are just too cute. ^-^

 Well, that's all for now. I dunno when I'll actually write my next CCS fic,

 but I hope I can soon. ^^

     Till then, ja ne! ^_^