Dreams

 part 4

 by Amazoness Duo

 amazonessduo@hotmail.com

 http://fly.to/moonlit_nights

 

 

 Perfect. Beautiful, dark brunette hair hung slightly lower in front than in back, framing 

 piercing amber eyes. A well built, thin, muscular body stood still in the dark room, lit only by

 candles. He was hairless except for the hair at his head and between his legs. Clothes lay 

 folded on the floor nearby, yet shame didn't brush his handsome features in the least. Slender,

 yet strong, he was a beautiful creation. 

 

 Sighing to herself, Ming Ue, current heir to the Li Clan, admired her handiwork. 'Gorgeous,' she

 thought. Fingers reached out almost as if of their own accord, trailing ever so lightly over his

 soft skin. Time was of the essence. But was it not honorable to make sure the body of her 

 revered ancestor was perfect? And perfect it was. The magical body that she had created had 

 taken every ounce of her concentration and all of her free time for the past month. All of her

 work had not been unnoticed. Her parents were getting impatient with her lack of progress. The

 explanation that she had to make sure their ancestor was recieved in the best body possible was

 wearing thin. The ritual had to be completed tonight. 

 

 Kneeling in front of the still form, Ming Ue began to mark a rune into the ground around his

 feet. It had been said that her runes were the most beautiful, that they were the writing of the

 gods. And yet, sadly, even that wasn't enough to impress her parents. But that would change

 shortly. Runes were the writing of reality. They were the messages that could shape the world

 around us. Though not as direct a magic as more focussed forms, Ming Ue had grown to be quite a

 powerful magician in her own right. Currently, she was the most powerful magician in all the Li

 Clan. But even that wasn't enough in that day and age. The Li Clan, long the most powerful of 

 the magical families in Asia, had been losing its strength and prestige in the past two decades.

 Now it was seen as little more than a joke, looked down upon by some of the current elite clans. 

 

 The job of rectifying the situation had been granted to Ming Ue. Not that she had wanted it. By

 no means. Though a talented magician, she had never lived up to the hopes of her parents. Every

 failure she had, every mistake she made, it was all her fault and her parents were quick to make

 her realize that. So the thought of being the one to reclaim the Li Clan's lost honor worried 

 her greatly. Their one chance at regaining their power was to get the recently released Sakura

 Cards, magical Cards that had originally been created by their descendent, Clow Reed. But even

 her ancestor, Syaoran Li, had failed to capture the Cards. Some girl from Japan, Sakura 

 Kinomoto, had been the one to seal them. How could Ming Ue do it on her own?Suppressing a 

 shudder at her mounting nervousness, Ming Ue finished her rune. Glancing up at the figure, her

 beautiful figure, she glanced up at a piece of anatomy she had been careful in crafting. Her

 cheeks flushed darkly as she quickly got out of her kneeling position. At least he wasn't alive

 yet. That would have been embarrassing. The girl calms herself by focussing on the ritual at

 hand.

 

 If Syaoran Li couldn't capture the Clow Cards, then Ming Ue had few hopes that she alone would 

 be able to capture the Sakura Cards. She didn't have the confidence in her abilities to get them

 on her own. So she had no intention of going on her own. When told by her parents that she would

 go to Japan to recover their families ancient Cards, she had worried the problem over in her 

 mind night after night. Finally, it came to her. She would gain the assistance of someone with

 great knowledge of the Sakura Cards, a powerful magician who could help her seal them and return

 their family to greatness, an amazing leader of the Li Clan. Together, she knew they could save

 their family's honor. She would resurrect Syaoran Li. Creating a body had been difficult, but 

 not impossible. Her ancestor, Clow Reed, had created a number of bodies in his time. Bodies for

 his servants as well as for himself. And without having to create a soul to inhabit the body, it

 became much more practical for Ming Ue. Research through the old library had taken her many late

 nights to fill in the missing spells she would need. After many attempts and many mistakes, she

 had finally brought the body to completeness. She had taken extra time to make sure it was

 perfect. And beautiful. Her hand gently caressed his shoulder, her eyes gazing into his own

 unseeing gaze. With a blush, she quickly yanked her hand away. The body had to be perfect so it

 would be fitting for her honorable ancestor. At least, that's what she told herself. Being able

 to spend so much time to create her version of the ideal male body had lifted her spirits. It 

 was like sculpture, creating perfection of the human body in stone. This was her sculpture,

 beautiful and strong. She almost wished she could show it off, all of her work finally complete.

 Well, if Syaoran liked it, then that would be praise enough, she decided. Her beautiful

 sculpture... Oh, he wasn't awake yet, so who cared if she got to ogle it a little longer? 

 

 Finally pulling away, Ming Ue stood before her creation. The body was finished. Now came the

 harder part. Out of all the souls in the afterlife, she had to call Syaoran's soul back, to 

 bring it back to life in the body she had created for him. Chanting, she closed her eyes and 

 held out her hands, holding them together in focus. The rune beneath the body's feet lit ablaze,

 overtaking the candlelight in the room. Wind began to pulsate as she continued chanting, her 

 hair and his waving about as if waiting for a storm to hit. 

 

 'Where are you?' she thought, the light of the rune now blinding even behind her closed eyelids.

 'Can you hear me, my fierce ancestor? I need your help. Please, come to me. Please, help me.

 Together, we can seal the Sakura Cards and return our Clan, your Clan, to glory...' Something

 touched at the edge of her spirit, something not quite there. A flood of images deluged her. One

 of the Clow Cards waiting to be sealed, Syaoran with his sword ready to cut down the magical

 beast that stood in his way, Syaoran walking with a girl outside game shops, later days as

 Syaoran and the woman, Meiling, were in charge of the Li Clan. That had to be him! Those

 memories... She gasped as she finally came back to herself, out of the memories that had

 coalesced around her for a moment. It took her a brief moment to remember who she was, and in

 that moment, she was disappointed. Better to have been someone from those memories. But she had

 no time to hold onto the feeling. Chanting faster, her rune began to spin underneath the feet of

 her magical sculpture, drawing in the soul she had just connected with. Her rune worked to 

 infuse the soul into the body, trapping it inside the flesh so that it may live again. And with 

 a last wave of wind and light, it was over. 

 

 For what seemed like a long moment, Ming Ue could not see. The only way she could tell if her

 eyes were open or closed was by the sound of her blinking. Annoyance bubbled up at herself at 

 the thought that she could have cast a spell around herself to disperse the light. But it was 

 too late for that now. And there were much more important things to attend to.

 

 The room slowly came back into focus as the Li heiress took cautious steps towards the body. Her

 heart skipped a beat when she saw he was on his knees. And breathing! Licking her lips, she

 contiued towards him, her heart pounding in wild excitement. It worked! It really worked! The

 rush of accomplishment, of bringing her beautiful sculpture to life with the soul of her once

 great ancestor, made her feel like she was floating. “Syaoran?” she asked cautiously, unable to

 keep the smile off her face. He would make things better. With his assistance, they would have 

 no problem with the Sakura Cards. “Syaoran?” she called again.

 

 The boy looked up in a daze, his eyes slowly adjusting to his surroundings. How long had it been

 since he had used living eyes to see? The body felt awkward after so many long years of being

 free from the confines of a body. And this one felt different... “Syaoran?” his voice got out,

 straining. 

 

 Hands clapped excitedly. “You are here! I'm Ming Ue, your descendent, honorable ancestor. I have

 been charged with capturing the Sakura Cards, just as you once were. I didn't know if I could do

 it on my own, so I created a body for you and called you back. With your strength and knowledge,

 I'm sure nothing can keep us from reclaiming what is rightfully ours.” Her words flowed out like

 a waterfall, her heart still pounding in her chest. All of her hard work had paid off. The fear

 of failing her parents for the last time melted away. 

 

 The art of making words with a human body was slowly coming back to the boy. That had been such

 an unnecessary skill for such a long time. This body felt so different from the last one. His

 mind was still trying to make sense of what he was saying. It was as if he had awakened from an

 extremely long, deep sleep. Memories of the afterlife were fleeting, disappearing as some dreams

 do upon waking up. All he knew was that he wanted to go back and that he wasn't happy about 

 being brought back. “Help you?” he got out. Frowned. Tried again. “Help you get the Cards? That

 was...” He had to clear his throat. His voice sounded strange in his ears. “That was a long time

 ago.” His head slumped forward, the body still exhausted from the soul being forced inside of 

 it. That's when he made a discovery that brought his voice back quickly. “What the hell?!”

 

 “What? What?!” Ming Ue asked, panicked. Had she forgotten something? Did she make the body wrong?

 Was he displeased? She ran over, but the boy covered himself, cheeks darkening in what looked

 like a mixture of shame and anger. Ohhh... She blushed herself, picking up the clothes. “I'm

 sorry about that. I should have dressed you earlier. I was just worried about the clothes 

 getting in the way of the ritual,” she lied. It had nothing at all to do with her wanting to see

 her beautiful nude sculpture alive. She mentally crossed her fingers. “I've got a dick!” He spat

 out, glaring as he looked up, still trying to cover as much of his body as possible. This was 

 all wrong. His sharpened mental state from his shock only made it all the more disorienting. Why

 was he here with this girl? Wasn't he supposed to be dead? And why in this body? Ming Ue

 sweatdropped, the clothes still held to her chest. “Ummm... Didn't you always have one?” she

 asked sheepishly. That hadn't really been one of her main concerns. It went to show that a male

 ancestor would be happy with keeping his pieces intact. She could have made a girl body, sure,

 and it would have been less embarrassing. But it would've been a lot less fun to make, too.

 “No!!” The boy snatched the clothes from her, turning around and pulling them on quickly. 

 

 Ming Ue was disappointed to see him turn away from her. He was obviously confused and frustrated

 and concerned. “Syaoran, I'm sorry for bringing you back.” Bowing low, she felt herself 

 beginning to lose her composure. He was angry with her. Now he'd never help her. What had she

 done wrong? “But I really need your help. I can't do it on my own.” Tears brimmed in her eyes 

 and she shut them immediately to keep them from showing.

 

 “Syaoran...” The boy was silent for a moment, pulling the pants on. Finally, he whirled about.

 “Whoever you are, you've screwed up. I'm not Syaoran. I'm Meiling.” Amber eyes narrowed as she

 drove the point home. “I'm his wife.”

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 “Please.... Please don't tell my parents!” Ming Ue sobbed. Meiling paced around her room while

 she sat with her hands on her lap, eyes downcast, her body shaking as she cried. Her parents

 would kill her when they found out. The spell had worked, the body worked, but the reincarnation

 spell had grabbed the wrong soul. This would be proof to her parents that she was a failure as

 the savior of the Li Clan.Meiling sighed, pacing around the room. Her arms fell to her sides.

 They had been crossed beforehand, but that was just an uncomfortable feeling. She was used to a

 very different chest. Her eyes closed as she paced again, listening to the other girl sob.

 Meiling had been resurrected and thrown into a male body and the girl who brought her back was

 crying? This was very, very messed up. “How do I get out of this body?” she asked at last,

 cutting to the point.

 

 “When...” sniffle. “When it dies...” Ming Ue averted her gaze, her voice low. Her mistakes had

 already been bad enough. Now they only seemed to be amplified. It had been her hope that Syaoran

 would help bring the Clan back to honor with a second lifetime. But now she felt miserable to

 tell Meiling she'd be stuck for another life.Gritting her teeth, Meiling crossed her arms. And

 immediately uncrossed them. “Can you at least change it into a female body? I was pretty used to

 being female seeing how I lived as one for a whole lifetime.” A voice so low that she couldn't

 hear. “What?” she demanded.“I don't know how...” was Ming Ue's reply. She was dangerously close

 to breaking out into fresh tears. If only she had waited for the right soul. Her impatience now

 had her ancestor angry with her, her plan a failure, and her parents ready to exile her when 

 they found out.

 

 Hands ran through much shorter hair than Meiling was used to, nearly trying to crush the skull.

 This was too much to deal with all at once. Tilting her head back, Meiling let out a sigh. “So

 you're saying I'm stuck here all alone in this crappy body...”

 

 “It's not a crappy body!” Ming Ue interrupted, looking up for the first time since they'd 

 reached her room. “It's beautiful and strong and I spent so much time on it. And you're not

 alone. I'm not much help, but I'm here and I'll help in any way I can to make your stay more

 pleasant. And...” Meiling's hands on her face stopped her. Her words trailed off into an

 ineffectual mumble. Her ancestor looked so handsome and dashing and protective in the body she'd

 created and those amber eyes pierced deep inside of her, cutting off whatever thoughts she'd

 held. 

 

 Gazing deep into her descendent's eyes, Meiling tried to hold her attention. “I'm trying to tell

 you that I'll help you with catching the Sakura Cards.” Eyes lit up in excitement, but Meiling

 continued before the girl could interrupt her. “But you need to listen to me. I've done this

 before. You haven't. I know what I'm doing. These things are dangerous. They almost did awful

 things to me and Syaoran way too many times. So if we're doing this, we're going back to Japan

 and you need to listen to everything I say.” The girl nodded quickly. Meiling's hands slid away

 from the other girl's face. It had been a long time since she'd helped Syaoran go after the

 Cards. But maybe she could make a difference this time. “And I need some decent clothes if I'm

 going to be running around like this,” she finished with a sigh.

 

 

 

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 Meishi paced nervously, her hands clasped behind her back. She kept stealing glances of Megumi

 from behind her glasses. The woman didn't look a thing like Tomoyo. Long, blonde hair and violet

 eyes. Her skin wasn't the delicate pale of fallen snow that Meishi had gotten to know and love 

 so well as Sakura. But Meishi could see past the flesh as easy as if she were simply looking at

 the surface. Her eyes saw deep into the woman sitting on her bed. And there was no way she could

 keep from recognizing Tomoyo, her beloved wife, in everything Megumi said and did. That familiar

 hanyaan feeling came bubbling up like a burst dam, flooding all of her senses. This was the 

 woman she loved, after all. The woman she had only been able to watch from afar for so many

 years. It took all of Meishi's will not to run to the bed and leap into the blonde's arms,

 telling Megumi, her Tomoyo, how much she had missed her. To be held in Tomoyo's arms again, even

 in this new body, would be heaven. A heaven that she had specifically forbade herself. Or 

 rather, that Sakura had. When she had been Sakura, she had reincarnated herself as two parts. 

 The normal girl side, Kumiko, with the enviable job of loving Megumi forever and ever. And the

 magical side, Meishi, with the job of ending the terrible cycle of the Cards so she could 

 finally die and so that another wouldn't be placed under their burden of power and immortality.

 But, alas, for that mission, she had retained her memories of her past life. Most specifically,

 her memories of her loving wife. A woman that she herself had reincarnated but never got to be

 with. And it ate at her every day. Just as it threatened to overwhelm her now with Megumi so

 close.

 

 Megumi held the blanket to her lap, violet eyes slowly gliding left, right, and left again as

 they followed Meishi's movements. Waking up in a strange bed with a younger, redheaded girl

 kissing her and a pale, dark haired woman watching them, was a little... disconcerting. To say

 the least. The fact that the younger girl, though looking nothing the part, reminded her 

 fiercely of Kumiko, helped none at all. Oh, the fact that the dark haired woman had large, black

 angel wings didn't help either, now that she thought of it. Was she dead? Was the girl some

 interpretation of Kumiko and the dark haired woman an angel? No, she hurt far too much to be

 dead. Dying, maybe, but not dead. There went that idea. She was almost disappointed. It would be

 nice to finally escape that pain. But she couldn't yet, could she? Kumiko still needed her. Or

 did she still need Kumiko? Probably both.

 

 “Dream Angel,” Megumi murmered, without fully realizing she had spoken.That's what this girl

 remined her of and why the redhead seemed so much like Kumiko. They both seemed so much like her

 dream angel, didn't they? When she had been young, she had often dreamed of a beautiful woman

 with wings. The woman always came to her when she was very sick or sad or lonely. She had always

 been there for her, if only in her dreams. A young Megumi had drawn her over and over in

 pictures, almost obsessively. Her parents had thought it nothing but fantasy when their daughter

 had told them quite certainly that her dream angel would come and see her someday. And she did.

 Several years later, she met Kumiko. The beautiful, braided girl instantly reminded her of the

 beautiful angel from her dreams. It had been love at first site, her love having grown over the

 years for her dream angel, only to then find a home almost immediately in the cute, somewhat shy

 girl who quickly became her best friend. And this girl, this younger girl in the glasses, she

 felt exactly the same as her dream angel had so many years ago. And as Kumiko did everytime

 Megumi was near her. That resonance scared her. How could she have found her dream angel twice?

 But nonetheless, if she closed her eyes, it felt like her dream angel, her Kumiko, was the one

 pacing before her.

 

 Ears perking up at Megumi's soft voice, the Mistress of the Cards nearly

 stumbled as she pulled to a halt and whirled around to face the bed. “Dream angel?” she asked.

 Did Megumi remember her? Had she seen her in dreams, aloft on her magical wings? Her excitement

 at the prospect was difficult to hold in check. If Megumi remembered her, even in part.... Her

 hands clenched over her heart, fingers barely visible outside of her oversized sleeves,

 desperately trying to keep her racing heart from escaping. 

 

 “You'd call her Sakura, I guess.”

 Megumi rubbed her aching temples, wincing at the wave of dizziness that crashed over her at the

 effort.  “I never really had a specific image of her. She was more a feeling than an image. I

 know how she made me feel. The same way you and Kumiko make me feel. She made me feel like

 everything would always be all right. Her visits always gave me the strength to carry on, even

 when my body would almost refuse. She would come to me when I would cry myself to sleep,

 comforting me.”

 

 Sweatdropping, Meishi rolled the information around in her head. The connection

 between Sakura and Megumi's dream angel had come swiftly. It seemed that even in a new life,

 Tomoyo had not lost her perceptive abilities. Part of her was just thrilled that Megumi had

 remembered her, if only vaguely. “Why would you think that was Sakura?” she ventured.

 

 Raising an eyebrow, Megumi couldn't help but smile faintly. “Because it's the same feeling I got

 when I watched the videotape. Because Sakura is the key to all this, isn't she?” Her violet eyes

 traced the younger girl's for any reaction. She was pleased to see that it did seem to respond,

 mulling over her explanation. 

 

 Meishi harumphed, crossing her arms. “I should really wipe your mind. You're getting too close 

 to all of this. I knew I should have stayed away.”

 

 A mishievous smile lit up Yue's face as she 

 sat gracefully, watching the two humans. “But she won't, because she makes snap emotional

 decisions instead of thinking them out fully.” The glare Meishi shot her only made her smile

 more, turning her attention to her Mistress. “It's part of your charm, Meishi-chan.”

 

 Tilting her head to the side, Megumi's mind immediately went to it's favorite subject, it's home. “Sounds like someone else I know.”

 

 Yue giggled, turning her attention back to Megumi. “I would certainly think so.”

 

 “Yue...” Meishi whined admonishingly. But her magical creation was correct, as usual. Why did 

 Yue always have to be right? It would hurt too much to wipe Megumi's mind of their meeting. The

 reason was selfish, she knew, but she wanted to be in Megumi's memories. She wanted the other

 girl, the love of her life, to know who she was. Even if Sakura had decided that Megumi would

 never get to know Meishi. That had been a good plan from a planning viewpoint, but in all

 actuality, it was hell. Meishi felt like Kero without the energy to atain his true form. Like

 Yukito when Yue had been draining all his energy. She felt like she was a false form, everything

 strained. Her power source, the light that bolstered her and made her strong, was Tomoyo. 

 Without her, Meishi had to struggle to keep going everyday. And now Tomoyo was so very, very

 close... For a moment, Meishi was horrified that she would lose control of herself and end up

 crying and clinging to Megumi for dear life. 

 

 The former Mistress of the Cards tried to move her mind in a different direction. Anything to

 escape the frightening prospect of losing conrtol. How much she should allow Megumi to know was

 still being decided in her mind, but her curiosity welled up instantly. “If you felt that same

 feeling when you saw Sakura as when you're with Kumiko, then why didn't you want to find out

 about it? Wouldn't you want to know who they were? If they were the two of you?”

 

 Lithe fingers brushed blonde hair away from piercing violet eyes. A small, sad smile graced

 Megumi's lips. “There is a reason Pandora's box was never meant to be opened. Sakura and Kumiko

 felt the same to me. But so do you. There's no guarantee that the feeling meant Kumiko was

 Sakura. Or if it did, there was no way of knowing if I was the woman in the video. What if 

 Kumiko was Sakura? But what if I was someone else who loved her? What if she ended up with

 someone else and I got her this time around? What would that mean to all of Kumiko's belief in

 Fate?” She let Meishi take in her answer for a moment before continuing. “But most importantly, 

 I don't have time. I don't have time to go chasing the past. I don't know what happened in that

 video or who those people were. But I do know that I love Kumiko. And I always will. I don't 

 have time for the past or for the future. All I have is right now. And I want to spend that with

 Kumiko while I can.” Her eyes became downcast, her hands holding the blanket tightly. “If she'll

 let me.”

 

 “She's scared of losing you...” Meishi's voice was quiet when she replied. The feelings that 

 came at the thought of losing Tomoyo didn't come from her other half, but rather from the woman

 of whom they were both shards. The fear and loneliness at losing Tomoyo was still a part of

 Sakura's memories that lay within Meishi. Those feelings were why she had reincarnated Tomoyo to

 begin with. So they could always be together. Sakura's immortality meant she couldn't die and be

 with Tomoyo, but if she held on, if she never let go of her love, they would always be together

 in this life instead. Now she saw what a grave mistake she had made. And that Kumiko was making

 right now. “She can't bear the thought of going on without you. She's desperate. She'll do

 anything, anything at all, to keep you with her.” Meishi's voice was distant now, lost in the

 memories that Sakura had left her. It was happening again. But Kumiko didn't have the power to

 keep Megumi with her. She could only hurt the blonde girl with her pain and anger that it had to

 end this way. What had her mother told her father? Not to cry for him. She was happy for the

 chance they had. Tomoyo was the same, wasn't she? But Sakura, in either of her forms, couldn't

 promise not to cry. She couldn't just let Tomoyo go. It hurt too much. Maybe she took after

 Sonomi more than she had realized. Could she really let go? She had to, though. She was hurting

 Tomoyo by keeping her here in this limbo. But still...

 

 “I don't want to lose her either,” Megumi replied, her violet eyes burning wetly. “I want to see

 her smile forever. But it isn't my choice. I'm grateful for the time I had with her. She made

 this life worthwhile. She made me so happy. It wasn't a waste at all.” Smiling, tears slipped

 down her cheeks. I don't want it to end, but all good things do. I loved every minute of it.

 Everyday was a carnival. Even the pain inside seemed to melt away when she would laugh or blush.

 I don't want her to think it was pointless. Because it meant the world to me. She is my world.

 And leaving it, my only regret is that she can't see how precious our time together was, even if

 it has to come to an end.”

 

 “Tomoyo-chan...” Meishi's heart sank at Megumi's words. Even a life removed, she was still the

 angel that Sakura had always known. It broke Meishi's heart to see her like this, especially

 knowing it was her fault. If she hadn't been so selfish, trying to hold onto Tomoyo's soul even

 after the girl died, then this never would have happened... Seeing Tomoyo cry was a very rare

 event. She had only seen her best friend, her wife, cry on several occasions. It always made her

 feel like crying herself. Without realizing it, she was at Megumi's side, her smaller arms

 wrapping around the blonde tightly. Her heart pounded against the older girl's side. “I love you

 so much, Tomoyo. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.” Her own tears bled into the shoulder of

 Megumi's blouse as she clung tightly onto the blonde.

 

 For some reason, the thought that this wasn't Kumiko felt awkward to Megumi, as if it didn't fit

 entirely. Despite her best efforts to reason out that this girl was someone else altogether, it

 felt like she was holding Kumiko in her arms. Her soul felt balmed by the redhead in her arms.

 Her tears slowly faded and she felt a soothing calm trickle over her. Hands and fingers slipped

 comfortingly up over the redhead's back, just as she had always done with Kumiko. It felt nice 

 to hold her this way, to feel the girl's heartbeat, her small movements in her arms. Fear tried

 to instill itself in her that this girl could feel so much like Kumiko, but even the fear had a

 hard time making it through the warm feelings the girl evoked inside of her. Her eyes met with

 those of the dark haired angel sitting across the room from them. The woman smiled softly. She

 could see it there in her stormy blue eyes, a resigned, unrequited love. The angel was in love

 with the girl she currently held. Was it that the more you loved someone, the bigger the tragedy

 that would accompany that love? Was this Fate's way of testing the hearts of those in love? If

 so, Fate could be remarkably cruel. She offered an apologetic smile to the angel, but the dark

 haired woman only smiled and shook her head, waving the apology off.

 

 Being held like this, feeling the woman she had loved through two lifetimes rubbing her back,

 made Meishi's heart melt. How long had she dreamt of this moment? How many years had passed now

 since she had anything but her memories of being in Tomoyo's arms? But now Megumi was awake and

 holding her and Meishi never wanted to let her go, no matter how much was riding on it. If only

 she could keep Megumi with her forever.

 

 “You called me Tomoyo.” Megumi's statement was muffled by Meishi's fiery hair, but the sorceress

 heard her all the same. Though she had expected as much, this was much more evidence to her past

 life. It was hard to believe that the pale woman she had seen in the video could be her. If it

 was true, did it change anything? Kumiko was the one who had wanted to know. Her love for Kumiko

 had been much more important than any possible past life in her mind. But now... She had come 

 too far to back away from it now. No matter how much she may want to. This had to do with the

 dream angel of her youth and why this girl felt so very much like Kumiko in her heart. “Am I

 Tomoyo?” she asked at last, almost dreading the answer.

 

 Head buried against Megumi's shoulder, Meishi nodded slowly. This wasn't supposed to happen. Megumi wasn't supposed to know the truth. But then again, was Megumi dying part of the plan? 

 The thought occured to Meishi that very few things were going according to plan. But then, 

 plans had never been her strong point. And lying to Megumi further would just make matters 

 worse. She never could lie to the girl she loved. How could she? Tomoyo was the sweetest,

 gentlest soul she knew. It was like tearing off a butterfly's wings to lie to her. Sighing, the

 young mage pushed back, looking up at Megumi. “Yes, you're Tomoyo.” Swallowing painfully, she

 pushed her glasses up to try to hide the tears glistening in her eyes. She was sitting with her

 wife after a lifetime, but the other woman hardly remembered her. The moment was incredibly

 bittersweet. 

 

 A cold numbness spread through Megumi at first. So the girl in the videotape was her after all.

 Kumiko had been right. Her mind tried to wrap around the concept of having another body, another

 life before the one she found herself in now. Another thought broke through to the forefront, 

 one that demanded her attention. Her voice almost trembled as she asked. “Then Sakura is...?”

 What if Sakura wasn't Kumiko? She had never wanted to go looking for these answers. All she had

 ever wanted was wrapped up in the heart of the braided girl she loved. That wouldn't change to

 her even if Sakura was someone else. She loved Kumiko. But it would break Kumiko's heart. Kumiko

 was so desperate to believe that they had been together, that they always would be. Megumi 

 didn't want anything to jeopardize that. 

 

 “I am,” was the first thing out of Meishi's mouth. She hated being so selfish about it, but she

 had to let Megumi, her Tomoyo, know who she was. That she loved her. But she could see the

 conflict already tearing at Megumi inside. Sighing, her head slumped and her glasses slipped 

 down her nose. Tomoyo wasn't hers any longer. It wasn't her place to be with her. That was the

 job of her other half. “So is Kumiko. Sakura was a powerful magician years and years ago. But 

 she was too powerful. She could see parts of the future she didn't want to see. Her magic

 wouldn't let her die. She could change practically anything she wanted. It was difficult, but 

 she tried to live a normal enough life. But she still had to watch those around her grow and die

 while she remained the same. And when her wife died, she couldn't stand it. She needed her.

 Needed you. I needed you.” Her fingernails scratched against her thighs painfully, tears 

 dropping onto her glasses. “Sakura decided she couldn't go on without you. She had to get rid of

 her magic power. So she came up with a plan.” Snorting mirthlessly, she shook her head. “Not 

 that she was ever good with plans. And without you, she was in an emotional cloud. She wasn't

 thinking straight. She just did everything she possibly could, thinking she was fixing things.

 She couldn't die, but she could start a new life. But she didn't think she could do it without

 you. You were always her light, her strength, ever since she was a child. But she had risked 

 your life so many times with the magic she had to fight when she was younger that she couldn't

 put you through that again. So she came back as two people. The girl, Kumiko, to love you. And

 the mage, Meishi, to put an end to the Cards and get rid of her magic so she could finally die.

 What she didn't realize...” Her voice broke, her fingers scratching up her legs until they 

 balled into fists. Tears dripped down her cheek, mixing with the small trails of blood on her

 thighs. “What she didn't realize was that she couldn't just make one half of her heart stop

 loving you. Not when she loved you with all of it. So while Kumiko has been able to have your

 love all these years, I've been watching from afar, knowing you could never be mine, wanting to

 gaze into your eyes but knowing it wasn't my place... You aren't supposed to get involved in all

 this. Sakura didn't want you getting hurt...” She laughed bitterly, nearly shaking. “Ironic,

 isn't it? She never wanted to hurt you, but she did anyway. You're dying and it's all her fault.

 All my fault. Kumiko doesn't remember, so she isn't to blame. But I remember the thoughts that

 went through Sakura's head as she cast the spell to bind you here so she could be with you 

 again. I remember because I'm her.” Her lips trembled as her tears spilled forth, her slender

 body shaking under the emotional hurricane that battered her heart and soul inside. Her hands

 initially resisted Megumi's hands as they took her own small fists, but she was too weak at the

 moment to fight the blonde. 

 

 Megumi slowly managed to unclench Meishi's hands, holding onto them tightly with her own, 

 holding the cold hands to herself, trying to show the other girl that she was there, now. That

 she was real. Head tilted low, her violet eyes slowly caught Meishi's. The girl in glasses tried

 to avert her gaze, but the persistent blonde finally won out, holding Meishis' eyes with her 

 own. She smiled softly, stroking the mage's trembling palms. “It was incredibly sweet what 

 Sakura was trying to do for Tomoyo. I know Tomoyo must have been so happy that Sakura would want

 to be with her again. And I know that she was trying to protect her by keeping her away from the

 magic. And that she wouldn't want me to hurt in this life.” Her smile grew and Meishi could 

 swear she saw Tomoyo's glint in the blonde's eyes. “But it wasn't a mistake to bring me here.

 Even if I am dying, even if it hurts, this has been such a precious gift to me. My life with my

 dream angel. Sakura tried to do what she thought was best, but she ended up hurting herself.” 

 One hand let go of Meishi's and trailed up to the redhead's cheek, stroking tears away. “She

 ended up hurting you to protect me. I'm glad she'd go through all that trouble for Tomoyo. For

 me. But you shouldn't have to be so lost and lonely because of me.”

 

 “But...” Meishi began, but Megumi's gentle finger on her lips silenced her.

 

 “But you never got to ask Tomoyo what she thought. So you've been blaming yourself and trying to

 stay away so you could keep me safe. I think I know what Tomoyo would say, if I really am her.”

 Megumi's finger slipped into the other girl's fiery mane and pulled Meishi's forehead against 

 her own. “This was not a mistake. It doesn't matter if I'm dying. It's been worth every minute.

 And I never would have wanted you to suffer on your own. I never would have wanted to have left

 your side. You were trying to protect Tomoyo, but if you ever asked her, I know I would have 

 told you not to hurt yourself like that. Let me help you, Meishi. Don't push me away.”

 

 Meishi shook her head weakly, Megumi's thumb pushing her glasses back up her nose. She had to be

 strong, but it was so hard to stop crying, to try to fight Megumi's logic. She wasn't supposed 

 to be near Megumi. She was supposed to keep her safe. “But you're in pain because of me. You've

 always been so selfless, Tomoyo. I don't want to be selfish about you. If I keep you here, 

 you'll keep hurting. What if trying to keep you here only hurts you more? I should let you go...

 So you'll never hurt again because of me...” A sob broke through as she closed her eyes tightly.

 “And I shouldn't let you get near the magic. I don't want to put you in danger again.”

 

 “You really are my dream angel, aren't you?” Megumi whispered softly. This girl was so sweet,

 always trying to protect her, just like her dream angel. She was that girl from her dreams. Just

 as Kumiko was.  “I'm so glad you'd want to protect me. But it's my choice. I'd suffer through a

 thousand deaths to be by my dream angel's side. I don't care if I end up hurting again because 

 of it. You... The two of you are more important to me than that. And I'd risk any danger. You

 can't push me away because you're afraid of what might happen, Meishi. The things that mean the

 most are those worth taking risks for. It's my life. It's my pain. And I'll accept it all

 gladly.” Her own violet eyes closed and she smiled. “I know it's what Tomoyo would want.” 

 Opening her eyes, the sparkled like twin suns as she gazed into Meishi's eyes, awakened from 

 what seemed an age old slumber. “It's too sad for you to have to be all by yourself. You're the

 other side of the girl I love. I don't want to sit back while you suffer. I'm willing to do

 anything to help. If I end up dying over and over, so be it. You're not the only one who can

 fight, Meishi. I'll fight for us, too. So don't give up on us.” Her lips grazed Meishi's. “Not

 now. Not ever.”

 

 “Tomoyo-chan!!” Meishi flung herself into Megumi's arms and for the first time in the years she

 had spent as the redhead, Meishi felt at home again. She was in Tomoyo's arms once more. She

 would fight, too. “Everything will always be all right,” she whispered. And she'd give it her 

 all to make sure that was the truth.