All I want for Christmas is You

 by Amazoness Duo

 amazonessduo@hotmail.com 

 

 

 	Her name was Sakura Kinomoto. Sweet, lovable, and very energetic,

 Christmas was one of her favorite times of the year. Her emerald

 green eyes sparkled as all sorts of Christmas decorations caught her

 their notice. “Sugoi! Tomoyo-chan, look!” The Twin Bells shop was

 putting up a cute little Christmas tree right outside, decorated

 festively with all sorts of beautiful decorations, lights flashing on

 and off in spectacular patterns. Sakura giggled happily. She had gone

 out shopping with her best friend to get a few last minute Christmas

 gifts. 

 	Tomoyo smiled cheerfully as she watched her genki best friend. Her

 hand was on her ever trusty camcorder, capturing every second of

 enthusiastic Sakura on videotape. Sakura was trussed up in an outfit

 Santa Claus would have envied. Tomoyo had finished it just that

 morning and was eager to see the Cardmistress in it. Despite her

 initial embarrassment, Sakura didn’t even seem to notice the garment

 was there anymore, walking around with her usual flourish. The little

 white ball at the end of the red cap on her head bobbed back and

 forth as she walked. Her feet were covered with little red shoes,

 also with little white balls. Long white stockings kept Sakura’s legs

 warm. Those ran up into a small red skirt that was trimmed with

 white. Her red coat was held closed against the cold with green lace.

 In both gloved hands, Sakura held shopping bags filled with her

 latest gifts. Tomoyo sighed to herself. “The tree looks very nice,

 Sakura-chan, but it’s not nearly as cute or as festive as you are.”

 	Sakura blushed at the remark, sweatdropping at Tomoyo’s usual

 bluntness about such things. She didn’t think she’d ever understand

 why she said those kinds of things, but she had come to accept it.

 She should see it coming by now, she told herself, but she always got

 caught by surprise. Tomoyo was dressed all in green, with a beautiful

 green bow in her hair. She said that she was dressed as ‘Sakura-

 chan’s helper’. It looked pretty on her regardless, Tomoyo’s snow

 white skin almost seeming to be an addition to the costume. Sakura

 went back to looking at the tree, her fingers brushing through some

 of the tinsel. “It’s so pretty! I hope Onii-chan and dad get the

 Christmas tree up before I get back. I hope it’s big with lots of

 lights and decorations.” She balled her fists up in anticipation,

 already seeing the tree in her mind. 

 	Giggling softly, Tomoyo led Sakura inside the shop, walking

 carefully backwards so that she could get Sakura’s entrance. “Sakura-

 chan enters the store, ready for more holiday gift giving. Like a

 kawaii Santa Claus, she comes bearing gifts.” She barely noticed the

 running commentary she was providing, lost up in the sheer perfection

 that was Sakura. The holiday season could be one of the most

 depressing times of the year, but right now that hardly seemed to

 matter. It was as if she was too busy partaking of Sakura to allow

 any other thoughts into her head. 

 	Blushing again, Sakura went back to the task at hand, glancing

 around the store for anything someone might like. “Let’s see... I

 already have Onii-chan’s present. He’s getting that sweater. And I

 got Yukito-san that basket of food you pointed out. Naoko-chan got

 the book of scary stories.” Sakura paused for a moment to shudder.

 That book sure had a spooky ghost on the cover of it. And Sakura

 hated ghosts. Especially after Touya spent his youth telling her

 scary stories about them. “And Chiharu-chan has those ribbons for her

 hair. Rika-chan got that cute broach. Father has the scarf I made.”

 Biting her lip, her mind went through the possibilities. What else

 did she need for Christmas? Her eyes caught on something near the

 back of the shop, drawing her towards it. “Kawaii!” It was a cute

 angel doll, it’s wings folded beautifully behind it, it’s white silk

 shining in the store light. It held a small candle in its hands, its

 eyes closed as if in prayer. Her mind raced. Yes, she knew exactly

 what she would get it for. A giggle escaped her lips as she picked it

 up. “Wai! I have just enough for it. And it’s the last thing I need.

 I’m going to get it for Syaoran-kun.” 

 	Tomoyo’s sweet voice reached out to Sakura from behind Tomoyo’s

 camcorder. Her smile was genuine, but Tomoyo couldn’t tell if she was

 hiding behind the camcorder or not, using it to distance herself from

 the situation. She wasn’t part of this. She was an observer. So there

 was no reason to be sad about Sakura picking out a nice gift for the

 boy she would one day marry. When she spoke, it was with all honesty.

 “I’m sure that Li-kun will be thrilled to get such a lovely present

 from Sakura-chan. Though being with Sakura-chan would be present

 enough for anyone.”

 	Smiling brightly, Sakura headed to the counter to make her

 purchase. “Tomoyo-chan, arigato! I really hope so. It’s the last of

 my money. I want it to be something special.” 

 	“It is special. An angel from an angel.” Tomoyo sighed happily, a

 light blush on her cheeks as she continued recording Sakura. The

 brunette sweatdropped again, waving off the idea, but Tomoyo just

 went around to get another angle of her angel.

 	“I’m not an angel, Tomoyo-chan. I just want to make this a good

 Christmas for everyone,” the Cardmistress explained, accepting the

 bag with the angel inside from the shop owner before turning back to

 her eccentric best friend. She was happy to have found it. It was

 absolutely perfect. She couldn’t wait to wrap it up. Yes, this

 Christmas would be perfect indeed.

 	“You’re an angel to me, Sakura-chan. Floating down gingerly from

 the sky, filling up the lives of all you meet with love, capturing

 their hearts with your beauty and cute personality, making everyday

 feel special. Sakura-chan’s my Christmas angel.” Another smile

 crossed her lips as she continued filming, following the embarrassed

 Sakura out of the store. Everyone knew, most of all Tomoyo, that an

 embarrassed Sakura was a very cute Sakura. 

 	“Thank you very much, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura got out, smiling despite

 her blush. She knew that Tomoyo was a very wise person and took what

 she said to heart. Tomoyo always seemed to be looking out for her and

 she appreciated that. Even if some of what she said was strange,

 Sakura knew that the dark haired girl meant it. That was part of why

 it was so embarrassing to hear, actually. Because she knew that

 Tomoyo was always being honest about it. She was always very happy to

 hear it regardless. It made her feel warm inside, like when you would

 sit right in front of a fire or it would wash over you or when you

 had a nice cup of hot chocolate that swirled and heated you up

 inside. It was much the same being with Tomoyo. 

 	When they had finally reached Sakura’s house, they found that

 everyone else seemed to be out for the moment. Sakura grinned as she

 lugged in her bags. That meant no big brothers to get in the way of

 her Christmas wrapping. A nearly forgotten thought struck her

 suddenly and she turned back to Tomoyo. “Oh, wait right there, Tomoyo-

 chan! I need to go get your Christmas present.” She motioned towards

 the living room and began for the stairs. She was happy to note that

 the Christmas tree was up and that it was beautiful. Underneath, she

 could see some of the presents already. Spotting Tomoyo’s present to

 her that Tomoyo had given her before they had left this morning,

 Sakura grinned and rushed up the stairs. She couldn’t wait to give

 Tomoyo her present. 

 	Tomoyo waited patiently, sitting in front of the large Christmas

 tree. She knew her mother had already purchased the largest Christmas

 tree imaginable. They had spent the night before decorating it. She

 had been happy to spend the time with her mother, worrying about

 nothing other than a large tree. They had stayed up long after the

 tree was finished, Tomoyo’s head on her mother’s lap. Her mother

 would gently play with her hair while they both stared at the glow

 from the Christmas tree, all the other lights in the house off. They

 had talked late into the night, her mother telling her all sorts of

 stories, most having to do with her sweet cousin, Nadeshiko. She had

 finally fallen asleep, curled up and with her head still on her

 mother’s lap. Looking at the Christmas tree brought back all of those

 memories, diffused with other thoughts of Sakura and her family

 around it, enjoying the holiday together. Still deep in thought,

 Tomoyo pulled up her cell phone to call her bodyguards to pick her

 up. Her mother was a very protective woman and wanted to make sure

 that she was safe. Tomoyo didn’t really mind and the bodyguards were

 all very nice, even if they all hid that under a mask of

 professionalism. 

 	Finally finished and with some tape still stuck to her now

 gloveless hands, Sakura hurried down the stairs. She found Tomoyo on

 her knees in front of the Christmas tree, the lights shining onto her

 pale skin making it look like she was changing color herself in front

 of Sakura. Sakura shook her head and approached the dark haired girl.

 “Here it is. I had to wrap it really quickly, so I’m sorry if it’s a

 little messy.” She hung her head apologetically as she held it out as

 an offering to her best friend. 

 	“I’d rather have Sakura-chan wrap it than any store,” Tomoyo said

 happily as she stood up, taking the slightly rushed package. The

 paper was crinkled and the tape was all over the wrapping paper,

 which was a cream color with cute teddy bears holding hearts all over

 it. Tomoyo hugged it to her chest, thrilled to receive a gift from

 the girl she loved. 

 	“Are you still having that Christmas party tonight, Tomoyo-chan?”

 Sakura asked curiously, brushing some stray locks of hair from her

 eyes.

 	Watching Sakura carefully, Tomoyo nodded. Something was bothering

 the brunette, she could tell. “Yes, it’s still tonight. I’ve already

 passed out all the invitations at school. I’m going to make a cake

 for it myself after I get home. Mother has to be at some business

 party, but she promised that we’ll spend all of Christmas day

 together. The house is decorated very prettily. I can’t wait for you

 to see it, Sakura-chan. Sense mother owns a toy company, she made

 sure that the house was perfect for Christmas.” Tomoyo’s smile came

 easily, though a warning at the back of her mind made her cautious. 

 	Sakura’s shoulder’s slumped visibly. There was obvious

 disappointment in her voice. “Gomen nasai, Tomoyo-chan. I don’t think

 I can come to your party. My family was all going out to dinner

 tonight.” She had completely forgot that the two events would be

 happening at the same time. To her surprise, Tomoyo’s smile never

 faded, though her eyes closed.

 	“That’s all right, Sakura-chan. Family is more important than a

 Christmas party. Please have fun at dinner. I promise I’ll save some

 of the cake for you and Kero-chan.” Tomoyo was the mask of

 unconcerned sweetness to her friend, but inside she was heartbroken.

 What was a Christmas party without Sakura? The biggest thrill would

 be to see her best friend there, to enjoy Christmas Eve with her. And

 if her mother was already gone, what was she to do? They were the two

 most important people to her, yet she would be spending Christmas Eve

 without them. But she still had a party that she was responsible for.

 An idea struck her and the heartache dulled slightly, though it

 refused to disappear. Images of Sakura in her cute Christmas outfit

 and gift giving and Christmas carols with her lingered in her mind

 like the events from something that now would not be. “I’ll videotape

 the party for you so you won’t have to miss it. I’ll give it to you

 as soon as I can.”

 	“Great idea, Tomoyo-chan! I can’t wait to see it. I’ll be able to

 pretend that I actually went.” Sakura smiled at the idea, still

 unaware of the heartache behind her friend’s smile. It seemed like a

 wonderful idea. What better way to handle both events? A car out

 front pulled her from her thoughts.

 	“It must be my bodyguards. I have to go home now and get ready for

 the party. Sakura-chan, thank you so much for the present. Whatever

 it is, I will cherish it always,” Tomoyo said sweetly. ‘Just like

 I’ll always cherish you,’ she added to herself. 

 	The two friends walked towards the door, Sakura following a little

 behind Tomoyo. “I hope the party goes well, Tomoyo-chan. I bet it’ll

 be lots of fun.” Sakura grinned as they reached the door. “You’ll

 have to tell me how it all went later.”

 	Smiling back, Tomoyo wasn’t so sure herself, but she hid her

 concern. After all, it wouldn’t be the same without Sakura. But she

 could still record it for her and try to make it a nice party for

 everyone. It should be a nice way to spend Christmas Eve. The special

 cake she was planning to make wouldn’t be for Sakura, but she could

 still keep her in her thoughts while she baked it and got everything

 ready. Yes, even if Sakura and her mother couldn’t be there, she

 could throw a nice Christmas party for her friends and record it for

 the two absent women. “I will, Sakura-chan. I’ll wrap up the video

 and bring it by tomorrow afternoon when most of the Christmas

 festivities are out of the way. And you’ll have to tell me how your

 Christmas goes. I’m sure it will be lovely.” 

 	“Tomoyo-chan, arigato,” Sakura said happily as she stood in the

 doorway. She was very excited about the coming Christmas. She had

 presents to wrap and she had to get changed before dinner. Not that

 Tomoyo’s costume for her wasn’t cute, but it would look a little

 strange at a restaurant. The brunette was nearly giddy with

 excitement. Christmas Eve was always a time of great anticipation for

 her. 

 	Pausing for just a moment as she considered it, Tomoyo leaned

 forward and planted a small, delicate kiss on Sakura’s pink lips. Her

 own petal soft lips remained there for a brief second, thrilling in

 the delightful feel of the sweet kiss. It was over in an instant, but

 it felt like it had lasted much longer. The dark haired girl smiled

 brightly, her eyes closing as she tilted her head to the side.

 “Sakura-chan looks cute under the mistletoe,” she stated simply

 before turning towards the waiting limousine. Her bodyguards watched

 impassively as she walked back towards the vehicle. She was nearly

 glowing as she walked, entranced by the wonderfully soft kiss she had

 managed to give Sakura. She licked her lips while her back was still

 to the brunette, savoring the flavor of Sakura’s strawberry flavored

 lip balm. Her smile grew as she reached the door that one of the

 bodyguards was holding open. She loved the holidays. “Merry

 Christmas, Sakura-chan!”

 

 	Sakura was still in the doorway sometime later, her cheeks a bright

 scarlet and her hands held tightly against her chest. Tomoyo had been

 gone for several minutes already. But the kiss from the other girl

 still lingered in her mind like a lazy butterfly moving slowly

 through a meadow. Looking straight up, she saw the mistletoe hanging

 above the threshold. Her brother had placed it up the week before.

 She frowned, balling her fists as she got ready to blame her brother

 as he often did. But for what? She really didn’t feel like it anyway.

 She just felt... strange. It had been awkward, getting kissed by

 Tomoyo under the mistletoe. But she found the idea returning again

 and again in her mind like a light bulb that wouldn’t stay off. It

 had been... pleasant. Warm. And very soft. Almost fragile. It took

 her a moment to notice that she was breathless. A small laugh escaped

 her, sounding tiny and distorted in the empty house. Such a silly

 thing. No wonder people kept mistletoe around. For odd occasions like

 that. She decided that it was a good thing, whatever it was. A nice

 little holiday ritual. She found herself almost disappointed that

 Christmas would be over soon and that she wouldn’t have a chance to

 do that again. Maybe Tomoyo would kiss her again the next day when

 she came by. Or maybe she could kiss her. Under the mistletoe. With

 snow outside and Christmas music in the background. It almost sounded

 romantic. Sakura tried to force away her blush.  

 	The thought still replaying in her mind’s eye, Sakura made her way

 back to her room upstairs. She had to hurry up and call Syaoran

 before her father and brother got home. She wanted to wish him a

 merry Christmas while she still had the chance on Christmas Eve. She

 had already sent out his present the week before and she wanted to

 know what he thought of it. “Hanyaa...” Life was good. Even if her

 boyfriend lived so far away, she was still lucky to have him. And she

 had a wonderful friend to help her through everything back home. And

 soon enough she would be off for Christmas dinner with her family. 

 	A low, desolate howl carried to Sakura over the wind. It was both

 intensely close and extremely distant at the same time. But the

 desperate hopelessness to it made the brunette shiver terribly, her

 skin prickling into goosebumps. She told herself that it must have

 merely been the wind, that it was nothing more. But there had been

 something remotely human in the despair she had heard. It sent a

 chill through her that she couldn’t shake. 

 	Trying to ignore the eerie feeling that she was getting, Sakura

 made her way over to the fireplace to warm herself. She was felt as

 if she had waiting out in the snow for hours without the warm

 protection of Tomoyo’s costume. Kneeling down in front of the fire,

 she basked in the warm glow, its cheery heat spreading across her

 cheeks, almost painfully at first. But despite the warmth it gave

 off, Sakura couldn’t get warm enough. It never seemed to dispel the

 cold that hung about her. Rubbing her hands together, Sakura knelt

 closer. The flames flickered and faded. The howl returned, closer

 this time, as if it were right over her shoulder. Any warmth the

 flames had been giving off to Sakura dissipated quickly, her heart

 pounding nervously in her chest. The cold winter outside seemed no

 match for the frigid shroud that was gripping at her like thousands

 of frozen hands. As the brunette stared uneasily into the flames, the

 flames began to stare back at her, taking shape. A feminine figure

 began to appear, long hair flickering as the flames danced lazily

 about the fireplace. Screaming, Sakura fell backwards, kicking away

 from the fire. Without a glance back, she ran up stairs. Her fingers

 fumbled around her doorknob as they shook, the sound growing louder

 and closer. She barely got the door open as the sound reached the

 stairs, slipping in and slamming the door closed behind her.

 Backpedaling in her frightened state, Sakura fell back on her bed,

 staring at her door. 

 If there was one thing that really frightened the magical girl, it

 was ghosts. Everything else was tangible, something that she could

 eventually overcome with support from Tomoyo or help from Syaoran or

 Yue. Ghosts were just... They were scary. They always had been to

 her. Touya had told her many ghost stories as a child and now she was

 simply terrified of the very idea. She usually found herself gripping

 onto Tomoyo when Naoko would start a scary story or when they were

 walking through some dark shadows. But now she was all alone in her

 room, the sound growing ever closer. Her shaking hands reached out

 for the pink cell phone Tomoyo had given her so long ago, punching in

 familiar numbers in a desperate attempt to reach her best friend. It

 was all right. This was probably all in her mind. She just needed

 Tomoyo to tell her that. She could trust her dark haired friend much

 more than her own jumpy mind. -“Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered

 nervously. She never finished dialing. The cell phone clattered

 uselessly to the floor. “Hoe...” Now Sakura’s whole body had begun to

 shake. A woman was walking through her door. At first, it appeared to

 be gathering mist, pooling out through the closed door. But it slowly

 began to take shape, features growing more defined in the dim light

 of Sakura’s room. She had never hit the light switch upon entering

 the room, but the woman before her was glowing softly in the

 darkness. Her eyes were closed, long gray hair fluttering around her

 as if in a breeze that Sakura could not feel. Sakura slowly felt her

 fear melt away in this angelic woman’s presence. There was nothing

 frightening about her, only a deep sadness that surrounded the woman.

 It took Sakura a moment to realize she had seen this woman before.

 Every day in pictures around the house. The last time she had seen

 her alive was when she was only three years old. “Mama?” she asked

 quietly, her voice wavering.

 Nadeshiko smiled warmly at her daughter, drifting closer. She didn’t

 seem to be moving at all as she did so, the distance dropping away

 between them. Her jade eyes, the same green as her daughters, shone

 brightly in the darkness like twin moons. They were gentle and

 loving, just the way Sakura remembered her mother. Her dark hair

 continued to flow about her in a breeze that was not there. “Sakura-

 chan...” Her soft voice was achingly beautiful, wrapping around

 Sakura like a time machine as years slipped away from her like grains

 of sand. For a brief moment, she was three years old again, together

 with her mother.

 “Mama!” Sakura cried out, tears spilling down her cheeks as she

 lunged forward to hug the spirit before her. Her arms encountered

 nothing, moving through Nadeshiko as if she were never there.

 “Mama..?” Sakura stepped back in confusion, watching her mother.

 Nadeshiko closed her eyes sadly, her bright light fading ever so

 slightly. It looked like an ancient pain had overtaken her, one that

 she was all too familiar with. 

 “Sakura-chan...” Nadeshiko whispered again. Her fingers brushed past

 Sakura’s cheek and for a second the brunette could feel a light

 breeze along her cheek, though the fingers were curiously absent. “My

 baby girl. I’m always watching over you, Sakura-chan. I couldn’t

 leave you all behind.” She smiled beautifully and for a moment,

 Sakura was reminded of Tomoyo. They both shared a loving smile and

 nearly the same long, dark hair. ‘And she watches over me, too,’

 Sakura added to herself. She quickly pushed the thought away. Now

 wasn’t the time. But if now wasn’t the time, when was? Unable to

 answer her own question, Sakura merely shook her head, watching the

 glowing woman. “But I can’t share in your joys or your sorrows. I

 can’t be part of your lives anymore. I can only watch. And offer my

 love across the distance. I can only hope that you all feel it.” The

 pained look overtook her again and the hurt in her voice was evident. 

 Sakura could never remember her mother looking so sad. The older

 woman had always been happy during the short time Sakura had known

 her, even up to her death. It seemed like nothing could hurt her.

 Life itself seemed to thrill her and fill her with exuberance. But

 now she hadn’t moved on, still holding herself close to the family

 she loved so dearly. Only being able to watch them, unable to share

 in their lives must have been painful for her. All she could do was

 wait to be with them once more. But there seemed to be something else

 as well. “We can..” Sakura offered, taking a step closer to her

 mother. It had been so many years. Several crystalline tears dripped

 unnoticed past her chin. “Sometimes I’ll feel it. It’s like you’re

 there beside me. It feels warm and safe. And it makes me smile to

 know that you’re watching. Because I know that you’re out there.”

 A smile crossed Nadeshiko’s lips and the light surrounding her grew

 in intensity. “My little girl... You’ve grown into such a beautiful

 woman. I knew my little Sakura would do great things as she grew

 older.” Her smile faded, as did her glow. She grew serious, her eyes

 locking with Sakura’s. “It’s great to see you again, Sakura-chan, but

 I can’t stay for long. I came to warn you.”

 “Warn me?” Sakura asked worriedly. The ominous tone in her mother’s

 voice didn’t help her state of mind. Oh, and the fact that she was

 dead. From the stories she had heard, that usually meant she was back

 for a very important reason. But what could that be? She had already

 captured all of the Clow Cards and made them her own Sakura Cards.

 She had faced Eriol and overcome the Catastrophe. What could be worse

 than any of that that her mother would need to come warn her about?

 Nadeshiko nodded gravely. “Sakura-chan, you’re at a very important

 time in your life. Your decisions will affect a great deal of what is

 to come for you. You need to make sure that they are the right

 decisions.” A soft, wisp of a sigh escaped her lips. Her eyes fell

 shut as her mind drifted back to some of her own decisions. “I have

 only one regret from my life. The rest was wonderful. Having you and

 Touya, the joys I was witness to, all of it. Even watching your lives

 as I wait is a blessing. But there’s one thing that haunts me.

 Everyday I see the pain that I’ve caused when I watch her. I can feel

 her agony, but I’m helpless to ease its burden. I had no idea how

 much I had hurt her.” Her voice choked off as tears threatened to

 overwhelm her, but she forced forward. She hadn’t much time left. She

 shook her head and continued. “You’re in that same position now,

 Sakura-chan. We both overlooked the love that sustained us throughout

 our lives. You can’t make the same mistake I made. Tasting her pain

 is just too horrible. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

 Tears began to fall down her cheeks, but she paid them no attention,

 fixing her gaze on her daughter. “During my lifetime, I didn’t allow

 myself time to worry about much of anything. I simply enjoyed the

 beauty that existed in life. One of the most beautiful things I was

 witness to was the love of my cousin, Sonomi. She was my best friend,

 my guardian, and so much more. But I never realized the extent of her

 love. I never knew how much I had hurt her when I got married. Losing

 her was the most painful thing in my life.” A soft, warm smile

 crossed her lips as she drew closer to Sakura. “Much worse than my

 death. It never really did concern me. I had lived a happy life.

 Death was just a crossroads. It even brought Sonomi back to me, if

 only for a short time, so I was glad for that. But now... I watch her

 every day. I watch over her in the same way I watch over you and

 Touya. I’ve seen the pain she’s endured. And I know that I’m the

 cause behind it. All because I failed her. I failed to see what was

 right in front of me for all those years. And now she lives on in

 pain that I can only watch. And wait. One day, I will make it up for

 her. But that could be many years from now. I have to wait until her

 own death for us to be reunited again. Sakura-chan, you’re travelling

 the same path I did. And I’m afraid for you, my daughter. I don’t

 want you to have to see that pain yourself.” Her teary eyes fluttered

 for a moment, but remained fixed on Sakura’s green orbs. Sakura could

 only look back, unsure of what to say. “Tonight, you will be visited

 by three spirits. Listen to them. Learn their lessons well. The rest

 is up to you, Sakura-chan. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t

 wait until your death to see the errors in your life. Don’t lose the

 most beautiful thing in your life before you truly have the chance to

 appreciate it.” She smiled softly, kissing Sakura’s forehead. Sakura

 only felt a gentle breeze as her mother pulled away. “Remember,

 Sakura-chan, I’ll always be watching over you. Please make sure she

 doesn’t join me too soon. You only need one guardian angel.” Her

 voice faded, becoming nothing more than a faint whisper. The room was

 once again plunged into darkness.

 Sakura sat in silence, and for a moment she wondered if her mother

 had truly been there at all. Was it just some delusion? Had she been

 dreaming? No, she had been there. It was her mother. She had to be.

 Her voice still lingered in Sakura’s ears. But what had she meant?

 What was awaiting her? Who was she hurting? Tomoyo, a voice in the

 back of her mind supplied. But how? She would never hurt Tomoyo

 intentionally. She was her best friend. The dark haired girl was

 always there for Sakura. She would never dream of harming her pale

 friend. But if she was doing it unknowingly... Sakura slumped back on

 her bed, hugging herself tightly. “Mama...”

 	

 	Dinner came and went all too swiftly for Sakura. Her mind was too

 focused on her mother’s words to really enjoy herself. Her brother

 had noticed that something seemed wrong with her, but she quickly

 explained that she was fine. He didn’t look like he believed her, but

 he let it drop. The whole thing had been disturbing. But had it

 really happened? She hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and

 Christmas was only a few short hours away, so she could have just

 dreamt the whole thing. She had nearly gotten herself to believe that

 by the time she was back home in her room. Kero was still

 mysteriously absent, but she figured he was probably out looking at

 all of the pretty lights decorating the city for Christmas. Or

 getting something to eat. He did have a pretty one track mind

 sometimes. 

 	Sakura had contemplated calling Tomoyo several times, but she

 couldn’t quite bring herself to finish dialing Tomoyo’s number. This

 had to do with Tomoyo, didn’t it? That’s what the small voice in the

 back of her mind had said at least. She didn’t know how to ask the

 dark haired girl about it. ‘Besides,’ she rationalized, ‘Tomoyo-

 chan’s busy with her party. I’ll just call her tomorrow. By then that

 dream should have stopped bothering me anyway.’ Setting down the pink

 cell phone near her bed, Sakura tried to ignore the area where her

 mother had been standing not so long ago. It was just a dream. It had

 to be. 

 	Lying on her stomach, Sakura held onto a doll in front of her. The

 doll looked quite a bit like Cardcaptor Sakura, even though she had

 gotten it a while before she had ever found out about the Clow Cards.

 Tomoyo had sewn it and given it to her a few weeks after they had

 met. She had kept it near her bed ever since. She had plenty of

 stuffed animals and dolls around her room, but this one was probably

 her favorite. Maybe even more so than the teddy bear Syaoran had

 given her. The teddy bear was sweet and she was happy to have

 received it from him, but the little stuffed Sakura had been hers for

 so long. It was always a comforting reminder of Tomoyo whether she

 was doing homework or worrying about magical happenings or just lying

 in her bed at night waiting for sleep to take her. Pulling it closer

 to her face, Sakura could still faintly smell Tomoyo on the cute

 little doll. Squeezing its soft fabric between her fingers, she let

 her eyes fall closed peacefully. If she couldn’t call Tomoyo, this

 was the second best thing. It almost felt like she was there with

 her, soothing Sakura’s worried spirit the way she always did. She

 felt herself drifting off, her worries dissipating in the calm that

 slowly began to envelop the Cardmistress. Tomoyo’s gentle caress

 seemed to spread through her soul, washing her worries away. She

 could almost feel Tomoyo’s fingers brushing softly through her hair

 and gave a content sigh, hugging the stuffed Sakura against her

 chest. Her relationship with Syaoran could be a little strange at

 times, but she could always count on Tomoyo in her life. Syaoran

 wasn't very good at expressing his emotions so she didn’t know how he

 felt very often. That coupled with his irrational jealousy at times

 made things difficult. But they were made for each other, right? So

 it didn’t matter. Sakura was almost the opposite. She couldn’t help

 showing her emotions. It was just that she didn’t always understand

 them. Like her feelings for Syaoran. She never would have understood

 them if Tomoyo and everyone else hadn’t told her. Tomoyo was always

 there for her, never too busy to help Sakura or just to spend time

 with her. Tomoyo understood her feelings perfectly, even better than

 Sakura herself did. The dark haired girl was the eye of the storm in

 her life when everything else became overwhelming. She was the one

 Sakura always turned to for comfort when she needed it. It was

 strange how it differed from her relationship with her boyfriend. And

 now that everything had gotten so confusing for her, it was Tomoyo

 she had reached out for, if only in the form of the doll she had

 given Sakura. 

 	Nearly asleep, Sakura began to feel the imaginary fingers brushing

 her hair from her eyes. A sleepy part of her mind mused that the

 fingers were longer than Tomoyo’s. But that hardly seemed to matter

 at the moment. In her dreamy state, she could see when Tomoyo had

 first given her the Sakura doll. Tomoyo had given it to Sakura after

 school. She couldn’t remember if it was near Christmas or not at the

 time, but there was a light snow in Sakura’s dream and Tomoyo was

 wearing their school’s winter uniform. The dark haired girl smiled

 pleasantly as she gave Sakura the gift, telling her that she was so

 happy to have met Sakura and that she wanted to thank her for being

 her friend. Tomoyo had been new at the time, Sakura knew that. No one

 else seemed to want to be friends with the slightly introverted,

 eccentric heiress. But Sakura had quickly found her to be the best

 friend she could have hoped for. She had been thrilled with the gift,

 though a little puzzled that it was a doll of her. Despite her

 friend’s obvious talent the doll showcased, Tomoyo mentioned that it

 wasn’t as cute as the real Sakura. Sakura had blushed as she often

 did when Tomoyo would say such embarrassing things. Tomoyo looked

 incredibly happy, her hands on her cheeks as she simply watched the

 brunette contently. It was strange. The oddest things could bring

 such joy to Sakura’s dark haired friend. It usually had to do with

 when they were together, Sakura realized sleepily. The thought

 lingered for a moment, as if it wanted to say more to Sakura before

 it drifted off to wherever dreams disappear to upon awaking. 

 	The fingers in Sakura’s hair were still there as she finally began

 to stir. Had she fallen asleep? She hadn’t been that tired, had she?

 A wave of disorientation spun her around and around as her mind

 slowly began to concentrate on the present again. It felt like she

 was thinking through a heavy blanket, her thoughts muffled and

 distant. Her whereabouts took a minute to come to her. Her room, of

 course. Where else would she be? It slowly dawned upon her that that

 was an awkward place to find fingers in her hair. Sometimes when she

 would sit in the park with Tomoyo or when she would sit at her desk

 before class started she would find the other girl’s pale fingers in

 her hair, but Tomoyo would hardly be in her room right now, would

 she? For a few moments, that was the perfect answer. Of course it was

 Tomoyo. She must have come by after the party and was watching Sakura

 sleep. The explanation sounded plausible enough, but once again she

 was reminded that the fingers were longer, not quite as gentle as

 Tomoyo’s. They were still soft and smooth in her hair, though the

 overall feel was beginning to strike Sakura as different. Almost like

 a woman stroking the hair of a cute child, unlike Tomoyo’s... Just

 how did Tomoyo run her hands through her hair anyway? Like a best

 friend? Sakura hadn’t seen many other best friends doing quite the

 same thing. Tomoyo was loving and gentle about it, her fingers

 playfully running through Sakura’s hair as they envisioned different

 hairstyles. This thought brought an image of Tomoyo’s own beautiful

 hair and how often she styled it differently. She found herself

 embarrassed to be drifting so far from the topic at hand. Someone was

 there with her. That realization finally shook the last vestiges of

 sleep from her. 	Her eyes blinked rapidly as she sat up. Darkness

 surrounded her in all directions, seeming to stretch off eternally.

 Was this the Dark Card again? No, she could feel her bed underneath

 her, her blanket twisted between her legs. After what seemed like

 eons, Sakura’s eyes finally began adjusting to the darkness. What

 looked to be a woman was sitting next to her on the edge of her bed,

 long hair falling past her shoulders. Was it pink? She couldn’t tell

 the exact shade in the darkness of her room. “Ruby Moon?!” The sound

 of her voice scared her. She hadn’t noticed how silent it was. How

 eerily silent. There was no snoring from Kero, no sounds of her

 brother busily finishing some sort of work in his room, which she

 would have counted on with it being Christmas Eve, no sound at all.

 Her voice rang shaky and frightened in her ears. She tried to push

 back her fears and confusion, gripping onto the stuffed Sakura in her

 arms. ‘Everything will always be all right,’ Tomoyo’s voice whispered

 in her mind. “What are you doing here?” she asked at last. Her voice

 sounded less afraid now, simply curious. What reason did she have to

 fear Ruby Moon anyway? But wasn’t she with Eriol in England now?

 	Ruby Moon stood up and stretched extravagantly. Her butterfly wings

 shimmered in the darkened room. Her long gloved fingers beckoned for

 Sakura as she ignored her question. “Come. You have much to see. And

 I don’t have much time to show you.”

 	Sakura merely sat in confused silence, staring at the beautiful

 crossdressing magical being. “What?” Sakura repeated, blinking. This

 wasn’t registering in her sleep addled mind. Her mother’s words

 slowly began to surface in the mist that shrouded her thoughts. Was

 this one of the spirits she had been talking about? 

 	Ruby Moon sighed, her hands on her hips. “We have to get going,

 Sakura-chan. We don’t have all night. Besides, as soon as I finish

 this, I’m gonna go watch Touya while he sleeps. I bet he looks

 completely darling.” A grin crossed her lips, but she quickly forced

 it away. Business before pleasure, she reminded herself. Taking

 Sakura’s hand, she led her to the window. The Cardmistress followed

 docilely, still completely confused by the situation. “I’m the Ghost

 of Christmas Past. I’m here to show you your past holidays. Much was

 left unseen their first time through, so this is your chance to see

 the truth behind them. Keep your eyes open, Sakura-chan,” she

 finished cordially. Her wings spread as she placed her hand on the

 window. Soft, white snow fell outside, blanketing the city. Ruby

 Moon’s hand slid through the glass as if it were nothing more than

 water. 

 	Amazement crept up on Sakura as she watched the pink haired woman

 start to shift through the window. Amazement turned to shock as she

 found herself getting pulled along through as well. She had time only

 to get out a short yelp before she was on the other side, floating

 above the fallen snow. Ruby Moon’s giggle fell on her ears, grabbing

 her attention. Even though Sakura was only in her pajamas, the wind

 and the cold moved past her as if she were being protected. “Hoe...

 What’s going on?” Sakura asked again quietly. But she already knew.

 They were going to see the past. With the soft smile that Ruby Moon

 was wearing, it almost felt like a jolly idea. It was Christmas,

 after all. Why not go and see the pretty decorations of years gone

 by? But a chill went through Sakura, creeping through her whole body.

 She was afraid of what she might find on the other side. 

 

 	When Sakura opened her eyes again, they were indoors. Murmuring

 could be heard somewhere behind her, voices upon voices piled on top

 of each other, all trying to be vaguely quiet but rising together in

 a swell that was nearly deafening in itself. Sakura turned around,

 trying to spot anything that would help tell her where she was. Her

 bare feet moved against the carpet, though the carpet didn’t shift at

 all. It was as if she weren’t there at all. Her eyes finally fell

 upon something that rose her heart high up in her chest. “Tomoyo-

 chan!!” The dark haired girl was wearing a beautiful dress with a

 long white ribbon in her hair. If Tomoyo was here, then she didn’t

 have to worry. Whenever Tomoyo was with her, everything seemed more

 bearable. She felt at ease now that she wasn’t all alone in this

 strange place. “Tomoyo-chan!” she called again, running to the other

 girl. It was then that Sakura noticed that she was taller than

 Tomoyo. That wasn’t strange in and of itself, she had always been

 slightly taller than Tomoyo, more so in recent years. But she was too

 much taller than her best friend. Tomoyo’s gentle curves were much

 less defined, her face more childish. “Hoe?” It took Sakura a moment

 to understand. Tomoyo was younger than she was. Just how much, she

 couldn’t be sure. So she was in the past. “Tomoyo-chan..?” But Tomoyo

 couldn’t hear her. She looked nervous as she kept looking into the

 mirror, adjusting her ribbon one way or the other. It was strange to

 see her like that. In all the time that Sakura had known Tomoyo, she

 couldn’t remember one instance when the dark haired girl had looked

 nervous. Tomoyo was obviously about to go onstage to sing. But she

 had told Sakura before that she wasn’t nervous when she was singing

 because she got lost in the music. So what was worrying her?

 	“Tomoyo-chan!” Another voice called out, drawing both Sakura and

 Tomoyo’s attention. In a fraction of a second, all of the worry

 Sakura had seen on Tomoyo face dissolved as if it had never been

 there at all. Tomoyo was once again her normal smiling self. Sakura

 was a little surprised. Had she seen it at all or were her eyes only

 playing tricks on her? Tomoyo looked completely fine now, smiling her

 usual sweet smile. The owner of the voice turned out to be none other

 than Sakura herself, albeit her younger self. 

 	“Sakura-chan, I’m glad to see you,” Tomoyo said in her gentle, warm

 voice. She took Sakura’s hands in her own, smiling happily, no trace

 left of whatever was plaguing her moments before. “Thank you so much

 for coming. Did you get a good seat?”

 	Sakura returned the smile, shifting on the souls of her feet as

 Tomoyo held onto her hands. She felt a gentle squeeze but that

 nothing of it. “The seats are great. I’m right next to Rika-chan and

 Naoko-chan.” She frowned slightly. “But Onii-chan and Yukito-san are

 a few rows back. Onii-chan wouldn’t switch with me.” She sweatdropped.

 	A soft giggle came from Tomoyo. “If poor Tsukishiro-san can’t have

 Sakura-chan’s company then I’m sure he must be very sad. He’ll have

 to make do with Touya-san instead. I’d be happy to be sitting out

 there with Sakura-chan if I could.” Her stormy blue eyes sparkled in

 the backstage light, their bright intensity never leaving Sakura. 

 	Shaking her head swiftly, Sakura took a step closer to Tomoyo. The

 dark haired girl began to smile even brighter at the close proximity

 to her best friend. “No, you can’t do that, Tomoyo-chan. You need to

 be up on stage singing. You’re the best in the choir. Everyone will

 be so happy to hear you sing.”

 	“There’s only one person I want to sing for. The person I love. I

 want everything I sing to be for them. I want every word to go

 straight to their heart. I want them to feel my love. When I’m

 singing, I can see them in my mind. It’s like I’m with them, like

 we’re together. So I sing with all my heart for them. When I think of

 them, my love bubbles up inside my heart and it feels like it’s going

 to burst. But when I sing, I can let all of my love out, I can pour

 it into my singing. It’s how I express my love,” Tomoyo explained, a

 distant look in her eyes. They held Sakura’s gaze, saying so much

 more than her words could hint at. 

 	“Hanyaa... Tomoyo-chan, no wonder your singing is so gorgeous! It

 has to be if you’re singing for the one you love.” Sakura watched

 Tomoyo with equal parts joy and admiration. “That’s wonderful. I wish

 I could sing like you. I would sing for Yukito-san.” Her cheeks

 flushed darkly at the thought, her eyes closing as she imagined

 herself on stage singing to an audience consisting of only her

 brother’s friend. Tomoyo must do the same thing, picturing only her

 love listening happily to her beautiful music. 

 	Tomoyo’s smile continued on as before, still bright and cheery, but

 she let go of her grip on Sakura’s hands, pulling her own hands up to

 her chest. “I’m sure your singing would be very cute, Sakura-chan.

 Tsukishiro-san would love to hear it, I’m sure. You have such a

 pretty voice that I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t want to hear

 you sing. Like a beautiful Siren, Sakura-chan would lure everyone

 close by, taking a place in all of their hearts.” The older Sakura

 could almost see hearts in Tomoyo’s eyes as the dark haired girl

 spoke fervently to her younger self. It was cute to see her with such

 pure enthusiasm. Sakura had seen Tomoyo act that way often when she

 would talk about the Cardmistress or about her true love. 

 	The younger Sakura found herself blushing again at Tomoyo’s kind

 words. “Arigato, Tomoyo-chan. But you have such a beautiful voice.

 You’ll make the Christmas pageant wonderful. I can’t wait to see it.” 

 Tomoyo tilted her head to the side, smiling at the brunette. Her

 dark hair fell past her cheeks, contrasting starkly with her snow

 white skin. She should be feeling nervous, a thought occurred to her.

 But she wasn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to be. She merely felt

 absorbed in Sakura’s presence, as she often did. It surrounded her

 and held tightly to her heart. Her heart was trussed up with a

 beautiful red bow, ready and waiting to be Sakura’s Christmas

 present. “I’m going to be singing for you, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo

 explained. Her voice was soft and loving, directed fully to her

 friend. “I want you to be the only one I’m singing for tonight. I’ll

 sing with my entire heart for you, Sakura-chan.”

 Sakura’s face lit up. Oh, what a wonderful Christmas present!

 “You’re always so good with gifts, Tomoyo-chan. They’re always so

 special. Thank you so much!” Sakura clasped her hands in front of

 her, anxious to hear Tomoyo sing again. Whenever Tomoyo would sing,

 it felt like the dark haired girl was singing directly to her. Her

 melodious, gentle voice swept her away to warm and loving

 destinations each time. She always looked forward to listening to her

 sing. Her friends agreed that Tomoyo had an amazing voice and was a

 wonderful singer, but it went beyond that for Sakura. She truly loved

 listening to her friend’s melodies. She almost found herself lost in

 them when Tomoyo would sing, but she was never afraid because she

 knew Tomoyo would lead her back safely. Her eyes closed slowly as she

 imagined the songs that often played in her heart, sung always by

 Tomoyo. She would sneak by the choir room when she could, listening

 to her best friend’s practices, forgetting everything else in the

 world when she would. Her voice was encompassing, rolling emotions

 through her body, drawing out the feelings deep in her heart. It was

 Tomoyo’s special brand of magic and Sakura always found it enchanting. 

 	“Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered. Sakura looked absolutely serene

 as she stood quietly with her eyes closed. Tomoyo found her fingers

 moving as if with a will of their own, lightly stroking Sakura’s warm

 cheek. That wasn’t her full Christmas gift. There had been something

 else she had wanted to give Sakura this Christmas. An explanation. A

 sign. Her heart. Christmas was a time of giving and she wanted to

 give Sakura her entire heart and soul. What the brunette would do

 with them, Tomoyo did not know, but she would just be happy to let

 her know that they were hers. She wanted to make Sakura happy with

 every ounce of her being. Sakura was so intoxicating. Everything

 about her only served to strengthen Tomoyo’s love for the girl. She

 licked her lips, the soft pink rose petals suddenly dry. This would

 be the perfect way to show Sakura what she meant with her present, to

 show Sakura why she would be the only one Tomoyo was singing for. She

 wanted Sakura to know what was behind the music when she was out on

 stage. She drew nearer to Sakura, the beautiful brunette still

 smiling with her eyes closed. Yukito was only a crush, Tomoyo knew

 Sakura well enough to know that. Besides, she already had a good idea

 who Yukito himself was interested in. She wanted to spare Sakura that

 pain. She wanted to be the one who sheltered her heart and labored

 all her days to brighten Sakura’s heart. Her lips were now inches

 from Sakura’s. Delicate inches that felt both indescribably distant

 and incredibly nearby. The Cardmistress’s spell had worked it’s magic

 on her long ago, back before Sakura had ever been a magical girl. A

 sweet, gentle kiss, one that would explain her love better than any

 of her words ever could for her sweet yet naïve best friend. 

 	“So what were you going to tell me, Tomoyo-chan? You told me you

 wanted to see me before the pageant started.” Sakura’s emerald green

 eyes fluttered open slowly. Tomoyo was surprisingly close, but that

 just made her smile. She felt nice when Tomoyo was near her. 

 	No, maybe Sakura wasn’t old enough yet after all. There would

 always be other Christmases. One day Sakura would understand her

 heart. But not yet. “I’ll tell you when you’re older, Sakura-chan,”

 Tomoyo said softly, taking Sakura’s hands again. She gave them a

 gentle squeeze and began leading Sakura after her. A smile crossed

 her lips. Yes, her love could wait an eternity for this girl. She

 didn’t need to tell her now. She could wait for Sakura. When Sakura

 was ready, that’s when she would tell her. In the meantime, she might

 as well work out her crush on Yukito. It was cute watching Sakura

 chase after him as it was. The magical girl was always so determined,

 her eyes burning with their own jade fire. “I’ll be singing for you,

 Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo promised as they reached the exit. 

 	Sakura nodded, a little confused. “Un, if you say so, Tomoyo-chan.”

 Confusion gave way to concern. That Syaoran boy was probably trying

 to steal Yukito away from her again while she was busy. She returned

 Tomoyo’s smile as she got ready to slip out the door. “I have to go

 keep an eye on Yukito-san. Merri Kurisumasu, Tomoyo-chan! I’ll be

 watching!” Sakura called before ducking out. 

 	Tomoyo stood alone with her hands held to her chest for a long

 moment, staring at the space that Sakura had previously occupied. A

 soft sigh escaped her lips. She slowly began to fade away in front of

 the observing Sakura’s eyes, growing faint and dim. Sakura reached

 out for her, her fingers finding nothing but a patch of cold air.

 “Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered, thought whether it ever got out of

 her mouth, she didn’t know. Even she couldn’t hear it. Her eyes

 stayed on the solemn figure until long after the last trace of her

 pale best friend was gone. 

 	“She’s a brave little girl. You’re happiness meant the world to

 her. So little things like that didn’t seem to matter to her. But it

 grew more difficult as time went by. The hope of youth slowly slips

 away from you as the harshness of reality sets in. I think she truly

 believed that you would rescue her for quite some time,” Ruby Moon

 said, startling Sakura as she appeared by her side. 

 	“She was going to kiss me...” Sakura mumbled, a hand going to her

 lips. She could remember that night, with her eyes closed. She had

 had no idea that Tomoyo had been so close. That the dark haired girl

 had another piece to her present. Her mind shot back to the kiss

 under the mistletoe not that long before. So Tomoyo had some other

 reason behind it other than just some holiday tradition. A shiver

 went through her as the cold emptiness once again surrounded them.

 She longed to see Tomoyo again, to see the warmth and brightness the

 other girl seemed to give off. Anything but this expanse of nothing. 

 	Ruby Moon nodded. “She was. That was back before she had given up

 on being your special someone. There was still hope in her heart that

 she could be the one you would love in the end. But that dwindled

 away as time went by. She convinced herself that it wasn’t that way,

 that you would love another. That someone else would be the one to

 make you happy.”

 	Sakura shook her head quickly, trying desperately to get a grasp on

 everything that was piling up on her. “What? But why? I mean, I

 didn’t... Everyone had to tell me about Syaoran-kun. I had no idea

 about my feelings before he wound up telling me. And without everyone

 else pushing us together, I might never have known. Why would she

 decide that we could never...” She trailed off, having trouble

 wrapping her mind around the thoughts that followed. Her cheeks

 blushed stubbornly. 

 	“If they’re your feelings to begin with,” Ruby Moon stated

 enigmatically. She sighed, shaking her head. “Sakura-chan, she has

 poured her love out to you for a very long time now. It stays

 unwaveringly with you through all that you do. It’s left open and

 obvious to the world. But you have never seen past Tomoyo to the love

 that lies in her heart. You have ignored it, taking it for granted

 that her love would always be there to nourish you as it was in the

 past. Years of this have taken their toll on Tomoyo. She no longer

 believes that you can love her because of it. So she contents herself

 with waiting in the background and trying to help you with someone

 she thinks you do love.”

 	“I do love him,” Sakura said, suddenly feeling defensive. But why?

 It had never been an issue to her before. But what troubled Sakura

 was that after witnessing her best friend’s love for her from another

 point of view, actually seeing it perhaps for the first time in her

 life, she wasn’t so sure anymore. A blindfold had been pulled from

 her eyes, allowing her to see the pulsing love the dark haired girl

 held for her in all its glorious colors and magnitude. This left her

 feeling on very shaky ground. It was nothing like how she felt for

 Syaoran. It was almost intense enough for her to smell, taste, or

 touch. A tangible object that Sakura could feel entwining around her

 like so many flowing ribbons. She hugged herself tightly as she tried

 to get a grasp on the overwhelming feelings surging through her. “I

 don’t ignore her,” Sakura whispered, less sure of herself. Tomoyo had

 been her best friend for years now. They had shared so much together.

 She was always the focus of Tomoyo’s life. But Sakura found herself

 caught up in so many things, always expecting Tomoyo to be there when

 she needed her. And the dark haired girl always was. She had insight

 into Sakura that shone a bright light into even the darkest areas of

 her life that Sakura herself was clueless about. Yet Sakura had

 missed so much about her friend. She always wrote it off as just more

 of Tomoyo’s normally eccentric behavior. It was right there in front

 of her and she continued to miss it. She just always expected that

 love and warmth and support that Tomoyo always selflessly offered up

 to her to be there in her life. 

 	Ruby Moon offered a small, comforting smile to the Cardmistress

 before putting a hand on your shoulder. “The past is filled with

 beautiful memories, but life continues onward. You have to cherish

 them as you life moves onward. Never forget their lessons or their

 simple joys.” She paused for a moment. “We have to go, Sakura-chan.

 There’s still much for you to see tonight.” Pity crept up on her for

 the brunette girl, but she knew there was little she could do. 

 Sakura followed along helplessly, trailing slightly behind as she

 tried to get a grasp on the situation.  “Tomoyo-chan...” she

 whispered again. Right now she desperately needed the dark haired

 girl’s love and support. Whenever things were difficult for her,

 Tomoyo was always there to soothe her battered spirit and warm the

 cold inside of her. Tomoyo rarely dealt with the problem itself. No,

 that was something for people like Syaoran to attack. Tomoyo’s

 specialty was Sakura. Sakura was always the focus of her

 concentration whenever Sakura needed help. And the Cardmistress found

 herself realizing how much more important that was to her. She could

 handle any problems when Tomoyo was there to bolster her heart and

 soul. The world began to shift around Sakura, but she barely noticed

 until they shown like Christmas lights all around her. In the eerie

 lighting, she thought she saw Tomoyo standing alone before the

 pageant once more, a phantom amongst the gathering lights. But before

 Sakura could call out to the lonely shadow, she was gone.

 

 “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura called out, her hand reaching forward. Her

 fingers laced around a bed sheet, pulling it close. “Hoe?” Blinking

 confusedly, the brunette found herself back in bed, her blanket

 pulled oddly around her. Her hand clutched for her cell phone

 instinctively. “Tomoyo-chan…” she got out as it began ringing. There

 was a long pause as Sakura waited. What if she wasn’t there? She had

 to speak with her. She almost hung up when she heard it connect.

 “Tomoyo-chan?!” 

 There was a moment of silence before Sakura got her reply. “Sakura-

 chan? Are you all right?” Tomoyo asked concernedly. “Is anything

 wrong?” Her voice was gentle and soothing as always and Sakura could

 feel her worries begin to melt away. Tomoyo waited patiently for an

 answer. 

 Sakura could picture Tomoyo sitting on her bed in her nightgown,

 holding the phone in her soft, pale hands and felt herself relax.

 “I’m.. I’m all right, I think. I just had a weird dream, that’s all.”

 It had all been a dream, hadn’t it? Her mother, Ruby Moon, the past.

 It was all just one big dream. She sighed. “It’s good to hear your

 voice, Tomoyo-chan.” 

 “You can always call me if you want to talk, Sakura-chan. I’m glad

 that you’re doing all right. Please don’t let a dream worry you too

 much. Sakura-chan should only have the prettiest, sweetest dreams of

 all on Christmas Eve.” Tomoyo shifted on the other side of the phone.

 It sounded like she was sitting up. “Whatever’s troubling you, I’m

 sure it won’t affect your Christmas. Christmas won’t be the same for

 your family if Sakura-chan isn’t bright and happy for it.”

 	For a second, Sakura considered asking Tomoyo about her feelings.

 Was the dream right about them? Did Tomoyo really love her? Looking

 back on memories of past Christmases and just about any other time

 she had spent with the dark haired girl, Sakura could only come to a

 resounding yes as the conclusion. But that was something she would

 have to ask her about in person. She smiled a little, feeling better

 now that she was talking to her best friend. “You’re right, Tomoyo-

 chan.” She giggled softly. “You’re always right. You always seem to

 know what’s going on.”

 	“I don’t know everything. I just have a good idea about Sakura-chan

 because she’s my absolute favorite subject,” Tomoyo said matter-of-

 factly. 

 	“Arigato gozimasu, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura said into the phone. The

 dreams were all just getting to her because it was almost Christmas

 and she was stressing out way too much about everything. Tomoyo’s

 soft voice was already making the odd tone of the dreams seem far

 off. Something over near the door caught her attention. Kero was

 floating there in a top hat, wearing a green and red checkered scarf

 and mittens with little snowmen on them. “Oh, Kero-chan’s here.

 That’s a cute outfit you made him, Tomoyo-chan.”

 	“Kero-chan’s wearing an outfit? I didn’t make him one. I gave him a

 video game for Christmas. I’m sure it’s cute, though.” Tomoyo sounded

 a bit confused, but it quickly disappeared. It was probably just

 something he’d cobbled together himself. “And your welcome, Sakura-

 chan. I always love hearing from you.”

 	Sakura smiled as she slipped her legs over the side of the bed,

 waving at the Seal Beast. Kero waited impatiently, his arms crossed.

 “I’ve got to go now, Tomoyo-chan. I think Kero wants something.”

 	“All right. Tell him I said ‘Merry Christmas’ for me, please. And

 sleep well, Sakura-chan. Have the dreams of angels.”

 	Sakura froze, her hand tightly on the phone. Angels... Her mother

 had mentioned that earlier. But it had only been a dream. Still, the

 coincidence was enough to shake her. “I will. Thanks again, Tomoyo-

 chan! Sleep well!” Sakura hung up and set the cell phone back down.

 Her emerald eyes went back up to Kero. “Where have you been, Kero-

 chan?” she asked curiously. 

 	Striking as cool a pose as he could possibly attain in his current

 attire, Kero whipped his scarf back over his shoulder. “I am the

 Ghost of Christmas Presents. I am here to show you all the great

 stuff you’re gonna get!” Kero nodded triumphantly, transcendental

 light starting to glow behind him. Ruby Moon’s hand snaked out from

 the light and dragged Kero back through it. Sakura stared in

 disbelief as she heard a muffled argument through the light. After a

 long moment, Kero popped back into sight. He cleared his throat

 loudly and began again. “I am the Ghost of Christmas Present! The

 here and now. Today.” He glared back at the light before continuing.

 “And I’m here to show you Christmas, Sakura-chan!”

 	“What?” It took a moment for Kero’s words to register in Sakura’s

 still clouded mind. Her head shook quickly, her eyes going wide as

 realization struck her forcefully. “Oh, no! Kero-chan, I’ve already

 seen Ruby Moon and my mother. It’s late. I’m tired. Can’t we do this

 later?” Or better yet, not at all? A voice in the back of her mind

 asked. She gave a wary smile to the oddly dressed Seal Beast. “It’s

 almost Christmas, Kero-chan. And it’s late. And I understand. Tomoyo-

 chan likes me.” A small blush started to spread across her cheeks.

 “What else do I need to know?”

 	“Plenty,” Kero said quickly. He looked at Sakura with his tiny

 black eyes, studying her. “And I have no idea who this ‘Kero-chan’

 is. I am the ghost of Christmas Presents.” He paused for a moment

 before correcting himself. “Present.” 

 	Sakura suppressed a giggle and nodded. “All right, Kero-chan. Where

 do we go?”

 	With a flourish of his scarf, Kero fluttered up to the

 Cardmistress. “To a place you know well. Though this time you’ll be

 seeing it in a different light. Finding out Tomoyo’s feelings isn’t

 the only thing you’re supposed to learn, Sakura-chan. There’s much

 more for you to discover tonight.” 

 	But what more could there be? Sakura couldn’t come up with

 anything. She had missed Tomoyo’s hints and gestures of love and

 affection over the years, but now they made sense to her. That was

 what her mother had meant about her overlooking something, right?

 That had to be it. So she’d have to ask Tomoyo about it later. The

 dark haired girl seemed to be fine with the way things were, so it

 couldn’t be bad enough to warrant all this. In fact, this just

 managed to make everything even more confusing than it already had

 been. Now how was she supposed to treat Tomoyo? She already had

 Syaoran as her boyfriend. She didn’t know what to do or even what to

 say to Tomoyo about it. She could see herself in her mind’s eye

 smiling at the pale girl upon arriving at her house. ‘Hi, Tomoyo-

 chan! So you like me, huh? Well, we can still be friends, but I’ve

 got Syaoran-kun. Did you want to go on a picnic?’ A small shiver went

 through her. Just what was she supposed to say, anyway? Oddly enough,

 she could see Tomoyo smiling her same sweet smile even after cruel

 words like those and agreeing that a picnic would be lovely. It

 didn’t make sense, but it was perfect Tomoyo. A lot about Tomoyo

 didn’t make sense, but Sakura had always been happy to be her best

 friend. At least now a little more about the dark haired girl was

 clear. Even if it meant Sakura would eventually have to figure out

 what to say to her about it. Or if she should. A sigh escaped her

 lips as she took Kero’s small paw. She wanted to see Tomoyo, to tell

 her everything. Tomoyo always managed to make her feel better. 

 	“We’re here,” Kero said casually as he let go of Sakura’s hand.

 They were standing in front of the Daidouji mansion, the lawn and

 walls decorated extravagantly with Christmas decorations. 

 	“Huh? Ah!” Sakura pulled a foot up, staring at the ground. Snow was

 underneath her bare foot, but she couldn’t feel the cold. It was

 distant, like walking through a video recording. The snow didn’t even

 shift under her feet as if it didn’t recognize that Sakura was

 standing there. Being set apart from the world that way sent a chill

 down Sakura’s spine. She hadn’t even noticed that they had gone

 anywhere until the top hatted Seal Beast had pointed it out to her.

 The sudden transition made it difficult for her to get her bearings.

 “Tomoyo-chan’s house,” she said at last, her eyes heading towards

 Tomoyo’s bedroom window. “Oh! She’s having her party!” A small thrill

 counteracted the creepy feelings that had been preying on her and a

 smile crossed her face. “So I can see her party after all!”

 	Kero nodded eagerly, hugging himself tightly as a look of pure joy

 crossed his teddy bear face. “I LOVE Christmas parties! And ‘cause

 it’s Tomoyo-chan’s, you just know there’s gonna be lots of cakes and

 puddings and deserts and yummy stuff to eat. And games! I bet she’d

 have plenty of games, too! Of course she would. It’s Christmas!”

 Floating as if on a cloud of sheer ecstasy, the Ghost of Christmas

 Present started flying circles around Sakura.

 	Sweatdropping, Sakura wondered how the Ghost could possibly be

 anyone but the Seal Beast with the Osaka dialect that she had known

 for some time. He may have denied being Kero, but he wasn’t doing a

 very good job of disguising himself. “So where is Tomoyo-chan having

 her party then? I don’t see any lights.” The brunette held her hands

 near her eyes, trying to get a better look. Sure enough, the only

 lights coming from the mansion were from the many Christmas lights

 generously positioned around the building. 

 	Finally managing to get a hold of himself, though still seeing

 visions of candy and deserts, the little bear in the top hat, began

 to lead the way towards the house. “Christmas is a wondrous time,

 Sakura-chan. People everywhere find themselves sharing food and gifts

 with family and friends. Even if it’s cold outside, the warmth from

 the hearts of those celebrating more than make up for it. Lovers kiss

 under mistletoe. Friends exchange gifts with each other. Families

 come together for generous meals to share. Big meals. With lots of

 seconds. And plenty of deserts.”

 	“Kero-chan...” 

 	“Oh!” Kero shook his head, trying to get the images out of his

 mind. He hadn’t noticed until then that he had begun salivating.

 Dabbing at his mouth with his scarf, he continued on. “No matter who

 you are or where you are, the most important thing about Christmas is

 love. Sharing the holidays with the ones you love is what makes it

 great. Giving of your heart, adding to a feast of warmth that you all

 can share. Sure, there’s cool presents that I could be showing you

 right now...” he glared off into the distance for a moment before

 continuing, “but right now I have to show you the hidden parts of

 this Christmas. Maybe when we’re done...” He nodded to himself,

 pleased. “Well, we’ll see about that. But for right now, let’s go see

 the party!”

 	Sakura nodded eagerly, following Kero’s receding form into the

 mansion. Wouldn’t Tomoyo be surprised when she knew what happened

 even without the videotape!

 

 	The house really was entirely dark. Sakura could only see by the

 light of the Christmas lights, and with them flickering on and off in

 intricate patterns, it certainly made things difficult. She

 considered using the Sakura Cards to light her path, but her nervous

 hand couldn’t find the key. Everything felt wrong. Houses generally

 held some feelings to them. Her own house felt comfortable and

 loving. Tomoyo’s home had a warmth and sweetness to it that she had

 always liked. But this time was different. It was like she was

 walking through some sort of twisted version of the mansion. She

 couldn’t quite put her finger on what was wrong. Only that she could

 feel it. The shadows seemed to stick out at all angles, almost moving

 from the sporadic Christmas light patterns. Sakura swallowed

 nervously but found her mouth had gone dry. ‘Ghosts!’ her mind kept

 crying out when a shadow would loom near her for a moment before

 shifting in shades of green, red, and blue. She found herself wishing

 not for the first time that night that Tomoyo could be there. Tomoyo

 never seemed afraid, except when she was worried about Sakura. Ghosts

 just didn’t seem to bother her, though the brunette couldn’t figure

 out how anybody could not be afraid of ghosts. So she would always

 clutch onto Tomoyo when she was worried about them. And she would

 feel better, holding onto Tomoyo, because she knew the other girl was

 there with her. But now...

 	“I think it’s this way,” Kero said after a moment, completely

 hidden in the darkness in front of Sakura. His voice didn’t sound

 quite so sure. The place was so big! He had come with Sakura

 occasionally, but he never got to do any exploring. He should be

 making Sakura lead the way. After all, she knew the place better than

 he did. But his keen Seal Beast pride got in the way as he floundered

 about in the dark. He barely noticed Sakura’s shriek at his sudden

 comment. 

 	Catching her breath, Sakura followed the jolly ghost further into

 the darkness. Her eyes caught on the flickering lights coming from a

 large Christmas tree standing on the far side of a room she was about

 to pass. Forgetting about all about Kero for the moment, Sakura

 slowly entered the room. Wouldn’t this be where Tomoyo would have her

 party? The large room could easily fit all of her friends and was

 very well decorated. Finding herself drawn to the sparkling Christmas

 tree, Sakura’s fingers reached out to touch a few of the ornaments.

 They were all very beautiful. Some looked like priceless antiques,

 placed with ginger care upon the branches. Glimmering crystal angels,

 sparkling icicles, glass bells, and so much more festooned the tree.

 Placed just as gingerly but with perhaps even more love, were small,

 worn out trinkets from years long past. Sakura could see a small

 snowman that’s seems were starting to show. It had Tomoyo’s name on

 the back with a date. It didn’t surprise Sakura that Tomoyo had made

 several other ornaments on the tree as well. Some were from nearly a

 decade before. Yet these old ornaments, some quite obviously made by

 a child (a skilled child, but a child nonetheless), appeared to be

 some of the most cherished objects adorning the tree. “So you get to

 be dressed up by Tomoyo-chan, too, Mr. Tree?” she asked quietly. Some

 other ornaments appeared to be from a time even further back, the

 grasp of age touching on them. Family heirlooms, Sakura supposed.

 Several appeared to come from Tomoyo’s mother’s childhood, others

 from further back than that. She caught sight of her mother in one of

 them, a beautiful young girl around Sakura’s age at the time the

 picture was taken. She was lying in the snow next to a brunette woman

 that Sakura recognized instantly. ‘Sonomi and Nadeshiko’, it read on

 the back. The two looked so happy in the picture. Her mother’s words

 once again whispered in her ear. Tomoyo had once told her that all of

 her mother’s employees were female because of her preference. And

 Sonomi always talked about Sakura’s mother so dreamily. Was that what

 her mother had meant about what happened to her? Sonomi did seem to

 be in a lot of pain over her death. ‘But I would never hurt Tomoyo-

 chan. I couldn’t stand to know she was in pain. So I shouldn’t have

 to worry about it. But still...’ Her eyes couldn’t leave the picture.

 The two best friends, happily together. One of them so in love with

 the other. For a moment, the picture shifted and she saw herself and

 Tomoyo in it. She backed away quickly, nearly tripping over a

 Christmas present. 

 Presents lay scattered underneath the tree, all done up in festive

 wrapping paper with plenty of bows and ribbons. Sakura had to

 suppress a laugh. She could definitely tell which were from Tomoyo to

 her mother. Only two names alternated on them all. Sonomi and Tomoyo.

 Her laughter was short lived when she read Sonomi’s name. No, she

 wouldn’t hurt Tomoyo. She couldn’t. But the thought frightened her.

 Her mother had warned her that she was making the same mistake she

 had. But what? 

 A sound from the other side of the room caught Sakura’s attention.

 Her ears perked up as she peered into the shadows engulfing the rest

 of the room starting just a few feet in front of her. She waited in

 the darkness, holding her breath, waiting for it to happen again.

 Lights shifted on the floor in front of her. Red, blue, green,

 orange, violet. Blinking on and off in their continuing patterns.

 Staring at the shapes they cast on the floor, Sakura began to wonder

 if it had just been her imagination. A muffled sob reached Sakura’s

 ears, quiet but unmistakable in the silent room. The voice behind the

 pain racked cry was equally unmistakable to Sakura. That voice that

 always soothed her soul, that carried her away to distant locales

 when in verse, that made embarrassing comments about how cute she was

 or how talented. 

 “Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura whispered into the darkness. Her body went

 as cold as if she had just awoken in the snow. Her heart felt just as

 numb. She walked forward slowly, her emerald eyes questing valiantly

 for any sign of her dark haired best friend. She could by now dimly

 make out a large couch facing the Christmas tree with some pillows or

 a large sheet lying over it. She couldn’t quite make it all out in

 the dim light of the Christmas tree. A long table rested near the

 couch. A delicious looking cake was set atop it, beautifully

 decorated for the occasion. That must have been the cake Tomoyo had

 hurried home to make. But it hardly looked touched, not a single

 piece removed. Cups lay nearby, along with holiday themed napkins and

 a large pitcher of spiced cider. This had to be where Tomoyo had

 planned to have the party! But what had happened? It didn't look like

 anyone had been here. 

 “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo’s weak voice got out before another sob

 broke through. The sheet shifted on the couch, darkness cascading

 down around the top of it. The form shuddered, crying quietly in the

 empty room. She had mistaken the dark haired girl at first, but now

 her eyes began to adjust. From what little she could see, Tomoyo was

 wearing a beautiful green and rust red party dress, her dark hair

 done up in pigtails. Her tears sparkled in the darkness, reflecting

 the colored lights as they slid down her cheeks. Her pale skin made

 her look eerily ghostlike in the dim light, almost an apparition of

 her normal self. 

 Sakura’s heart broke in two to hear the strangled, miserable sobs

 that broke free while Tomoyo cried, alone. The brunette was caught

 completely off guard. She had never seen Tomoyo like this before.

 “What happened?” she asked, hoping that Tomoyo would somehow hear

 her. “Tomoyo-chan.” Her own voice was shaky in her ears. 

 Tomoyo curled up into a tight little ball on the couch, hugging her

 legs to her chest. Her head ached from crying too much. Her body felt

 sick and exhausted. But she couldn't stop the tears. She should go to

 her room before her mother got home so she wouldn’t see her like

 this. She should clean up her little ‘party’ before she would have to

 explain what had happened. But she couldn’t will herself to get off

 the couch. She didn’t want to leave the dark confines of the room

 that she had waited hours in. Hours all alone. She had the sinking

 feeling that this is how it would always be. This was what awaited

 her in her not so distant future. Alone, alone, always alone. She had

 made the cake hours earlier, in preparation for her Christmas party.

 Everything had been set up. She had done a meticulous job of making

 sure everything would be perfect. Sakura would be there, after all.

 And she wanted to spend a perfect Christmas Eve with her darling

 Sakura. Finding out Sakura couldn’t be there had been a bit of a

 shock, and a rather painful one. She wanted nothing else for

 Christmas than to spend it in the glowing presence of her beloved

 best friend. But she had hidden all that away. She couldn’t let

 Sakura see how disappointed she was. No, she had to make sure that

 Sakura enjoyed her night with her family. After all, that was an

 important part of Christmas, too. But her family, her only family

 could not be there for Christmas Eve. Her mother was far too busy

 finishing things at work for the Holiday. She had understood that

 when her mother had explained. Sonomi had been hesitant to go, making

 sure that it was all right with Tomoyo if she did. Tomoyo knew how

 busy her work could be and told her that it was quite all right, that

 they would spend Christmas Day together, so it wasn’t a problem. The

 two women that meant the most in Tomoyo’s life couldn’t be there for

 Christmas Eve. But that was all right. She would be strong for them.

 She had guests to attend to as it was. So she had finished the last

 of her preparations for the party and then waited. And waited. And

 decorated a little more before waiting. She didn’t know when it had

 finally struck her that no one was coming. Minutes after the start of

 the party? Hours? She couldn’t be sure. But it had all become too

 much for her to bear. Here she was, all alone on Christmas Eve, like

 some forgotten Christmas present that wouldn’t be found till the next

 year. Tears fell past her ivory skin to the couch underneath her. 

 Sakura was surprised when she felt a tear of her own slipping down

 her cheek. Her eyes were starting to sting as she sat watching her

 best friend crying softly. “Tomoyo-chan... What happened? Please..”

 she pleaded with the dark haired girl to no avail. She felt so

 helpless. There wasn’t anything she could do. She had been so sure

 that nothing could faze Tomoyo, that she always managed to have the

 gentle smile no matter the circumstances. Seeing her like this was a

 wake up call for Sakura, shaking away the illusions that had

 surrounded her friend. Suddenly Sakura started to wonder if she

 actually had hurt Tomoyo before, not seeing behind the dark haired

 girl’s smile to the pain she had caused. Her mind began pouring

 through memories, but she quickly gave up that search. It would do no

 good. Not now. 

 Unknowing of the subject of her thoughts presence, Tomoyo continued

 to cry in the darkness. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t think

 she could take it. Her heart longed for Sakura, for a love that had

 long been denied, one that she now knew she couldn’t have. Yet her

 heart would not listen. It only called out for Sakura, aching

 painfully for her. And loneliness was the only thing this road

 offered. But she would live with it for Sakura. She didn’t know any

 other way. Tomoyo cried harder, her sides starting to ache. The

 thought of returning to her room, to her personal shrine to Sakura

 just made her feel worse inside. She had no place to go. The

 Christmas tree peeked out at her through her tear blurred vision,

 taunting her with its grim reminder of this painful Christmas Eve.

 Her stormy blue eyes shut tightly, her small body shaking on the

 couch. She just wanted Sakura to hold her close, to feel her warm

 embrace. To hear her beautiful voice. But she knew she couldn’t. This

 was the dark underbelly of Christmas. It had two sides. The bright,

 joyous side. The one she hoped that Sakura would be seeing with her

 family. And the dark, lonely side. The holiday when experienced in

 all of its gruesome torment. Alone. When all it managed to do was

 reinforce how insignificant and lost one is in the wide world. 

 Why had she thrown this party? What had she hoped to accomplish? She

 just wanted to have a wonderful Christmas Eve for everyone. She

 thought it would be perfect to have Sakura and all of her friends

 over. But she knew at the back of her mind that they weren’t her

 friends. They were Sakura’s friends. Like a puppy tagging along

 behind her owner, Tomoyo had never really been befriended by Chiharu

 and the others. She was merely there. Why would they come over for

 Christmas of all days? They had their own families and loved ones.

 They all had people to share the holiday with. Tomoyo felt frozen

 despite the heat being on. Christmas Eve was almost over now. It was

 growing late. The day would soon be over, but the scars on Tomoyo’s

 soul would remain. After all, Today is always built upon Yesterday’s

 ashes. 

 Kero sighed, shaking his head. “Christmas isn’t always happy for

 everyone. Even with a warm heart, with no one to share it with, what

 good is it? It’s like having an oven, but no food to put in it. It’s

 just... empty.” 

 Sakura didn’t even turn to look at the festively dressed Seal Beast,

 her eyes never leaving Tomoyo shuddering form. She looked so weak, so

 frail. As if the slightest touch would shatter her into a thousand

 jagged pieces. She remembered something her father had said to her

 when she had accidentally broken a pot as a child. ‘Sakura-chan, when

 we break things, we can’t always fix them. We can try to put them

 back together, but they’ll never be exactly the way they were,’ he

 had explained while they tried to glue the pot back together. Had she

 broken Tomoyo? Could she pick up all the pieces? “What happened?” she

 asked in a tiny voice.

 Clearing his throat, Kero looked away. He had never seen Tomoyo, or

 anyone that he could remember, looking quite so desolate before. “Her

 mother couldn’t be here because of work. You couldn’t be here because

 of dinner. You friends didn’t show up because they all had things to

 do and they’ve never been Tomoyo friends exactly anyway so they

 didn’t see it as a big deal. She always follows you around so why

 would she care? I don’t think that matters though. The only ones that

 she really wanted to be here were you and her mother.”

 Shaking her head sadly, Sakura reached out hesitantly for Tomoyo

 before stopping, her fingers inches from Tomoyo’s hand. “So this is

 all tonight? This is what happened with her party? Tomoyo-chan...”

 She sniffled, cold tears spilling down her cheeks. “Tomoyo-chan!” she

 buried her face in her hands, crying into them. “It’s not fair! She

 shouldn’t have to be so sad! I... Tomoyo-chan, I’m so sorry...” Her

 mouth opened to say more, but her throat locked up, unable to allow

 her to get anything else out. She just shook her head again, tears

 falling to her pajamas. Painful shards of ice grew into her heart,

 tearing at her with each consecutive sob that came from the dark

 haired girl. She couldn’t help but feel that it was her fault, that

 she had failed Tomoyo. ‘I always knew you would save me,’ Tomoyo’s

 voice echoed in her mind. ‘But I failed her. I never saved her,’ her

 own voice came back accusingly.

 “Sakura-chan, I’m sorry I had to show you this,” Kero apologized. 

 “No... I’m.. I’m glad you did. If I didn’t see this, I’d never know.

 She would just smile when she sees me tomorrow and she’d act like

 everything’s all right. Be..Because I..” Her eyes shut closed as she

 tried to continue, choking back sobs. “Because I can’t see it on my

 own... Kero-chan, I didn’t know..” A small whimper escaped her as she

 fell back on her knees.

 “It’s okay, Sakura-chan. You’ll figure it out. But it’s not over

 yet. There’s still a final spirit to meet. The one who will judge

 you. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.” Kero took Sakura’s hand,

 leading her away from Tomoyo’s silent form. Sakura kept watching her

 as she slowly began to walk away. She could see Sonomi enter the

 room, and paused.

 Sonomi brushed back some of Tomoyo’s long dark hair as she knelt

 beside her. Work had gone later than she expected, but she had

 hurried home as quickly as she could. It didn’t take long for her to

 realize what had happened. The cake left untouched, the Christmas

 letter for Sakura still in Tomoyo’s hands, the tears staining her

 daughter’s cheeks. Tomoyo had just passed into a fitful sleep a short

 time before her arrival. She wiped the remaining tear from Tomoyo’s

 pale cheek before gently picking her up. She kissed her forehead

 before walking out of the room with her baby girl. “It will be all

 right, Tomoyo-chan. I don’t know how, but it will be. I’ll be here

 for you when you wake up.”

 ‘At least Sonomi-sama tries to protect her!’ Sakura’s mind lashed

 out. ‘And I’m the one she’s trying to protect her from. Oh kami-

 sama... How long have I been hurting her?’ Her legs went numb at the

 thought. Fresh tears burned in her eyes. A weak sob escaped her lips

 and the world went black, plunging her into darkness.

 

 	It was cold. That was the first thing that Sakura noticed. Icy

 hands dragged the breath right out of her, cold daggers lancing into

 her sides as she tried to breathe in the frozen air. In all of the

 other places she had traveled that night, the cold had been a

 distant, forgotten thing as if she were not a part of it. But now it

 surrounded her, grasping onto her, infusing into her body. Clutching

 herself tightly, she struggled to fend off the shaking of her cold

 body. “Kero-chan?” she called into the windswept night. But there was

 no answer. The howl of the wind startled the Cardmistress, snow

 falling about her pajama clad form. Alone and afraid, she started to

 cry, slumping to her knees in the freshly fallen snow. The night had

 take a lot out of her, and upon expecting to find herself in her bed,

 she wound up out in the bleary night without the faintest trace of

 her guardian. Still in anguish over seeing Tomoyo in such pain, pain

 that she had helped to bring to the door of her sweet and gentle best

 friend, Sakura couldn’t work up the strength to get back up. 

 	‘Don’t cry. It won’t get you anywhere,’ a rough voice said from

 nowhere. Sakura’s body shuddered as she was wracked with more sobs. 

 	‘Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. It just makes me feel sad,’ a

 softer, more gentle voice spoke up from the same spot that was

 nowhere but ever so near to the brunette. 

 Tomoyo... She had heard Tomoyo say that before. She shouldn’t cry

 because it made Tomoyo sad. And she couldn’t make Tomoyo sad anymore.

 The other voice... It had to be Syaoran’s. He had told her that

 crying wouldn’t solve anything, that she needed to face things

 without tears. Yes, he was right. “Everything will always be all

 right,” Sakura whispered to herself. That was her power, right? Her

 special power. It wasn’t magic, it wasn’t strength. It was just a

 tiny phrase in the midst of a snowstorm. But it came with the love

 and support of those that had stood behind her at one point in time.

 It came with the profound faith of those that believed in her. And

 through that belief that they held in her, Sakura could have faith as

 well. That perhaps everything would be. Blinking in the blizzard that

 encompassed her, Sakura tried to look up. The endless white that had

 blanketed everything she could see was replaced in the immediate

 vicinity by a dark black shroud that rose up above her kneeling form.

 The cloak flailed around in the darkness, snow not daring to fall

 upon it’s midnight embrace. Yet Sakura couldn’t see make out whoever

 it was inside of the cloak, only a vague figure that remained

 shrouded in darkness. The figure held out a hand to Sakura, beckoning

 her to follow. “Are you... Are you the Ghost of Christmas Yet to

 Come?” Sakura asked above the rising icy shriek of the wind. Her

 voice trembled, though not entirely from the cold. She was to be

 judged, she knew that. And she was afraid that she would be found

 terribly wanting in the eyes of this macabre judge, jury, and

 executioner. The figure nodded almost imperceptibly, causing Sakura

 to wonder if she had even seen it at all. “There’s so much I’ve

 learned tonight. I... I never knew how much I had ignored Tomoyo-

 chan. I didn’t know how much I had hurt her. Please, show me more. My

 mother said that you could help me. I don’t...” Her voice caught in

 her throat painfully as she tried to speak. It took a moment to

 swallow the burning tears and continue. “I don’t want to hurt anyone

 anymore. I just want everything to be all right.” Tears threatened to

 spill from her jade eyes, but the shadowed figure merely watched in

 silence before beckoning once more. Sakura once again found herself

 wishing Tomoyo was there to clutch onto. Why did they have to be

 ghosts? Why couldn’t they have been the three magical beings of

 Christmas? Or the three Mr. Seagulls? Anything would be better than

 ghosts. But she had already made up her mind. Frightened or not, she

 had to follow. The shadowed figure slowly took her hand. It felt cold

 yet familiar in her grasp, but she couldn’t quite figure out who it

 belonged to. Her mind quickly gave up the futile attempt as the

 snowstorm grew infinitely worse, swallowing up Sakura and the

 mysterious stranger in it’s jagged talons. 

 

 Before the two figures, the snow slowly began to dissipate,

 weakening it’s snow white hold on Sakura’s vision. All around her,

 the snow continued to fall with a silent intensity, but before her it

 dropped in only small groups of snowflakes. She caught one between

 her hands, holding it in her opened palms for a moment. The tiny ice

 crystal was beautiful, a jewel from the sky. But almost immediately,

 it melted into cold water in her hands, not a trace remaining of the

 beauty she had seen moments before. 

 Cold fingers curled under Sakura’s chin, lifting her gaze to the

 glass in front of them. It took all of the brunette’s strength not to

 jump at the sudden touch. The glass looked into a busy office room,

 people hurrying about their business. One woman in a business suit

 looked particularly familiar with her fairly short hair and glasses. 

 “Working on your book, Naoko-san?” one of the women asked as she

 poured herself something warm to drink. She had a warm, friendly air

 about her, but her tone was almost teasing as if she asked the

 question often.

 Naoko frowned, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with

 her index finger. “No, I’m not working on it today,” she stated

 simply, going through some papers shuffled together on her lap.

 “Oh? Why not?” a man asked curiously. Despite the earlier teasing,

 it seemed that they were used to a different answer. “Because it’s

 Christmas Eve?”

 Naoko nodded somberly, looking up again. The light shined off her

 glasses for a moment, frightening Sakura as she watched. “I don’t

 want to anger the spirits, after all. Today’s the anniversary. A girl

 I went to school with for years did something horrific last year. You

 see, she was a very lonely girl. You wouldn’t know that at first, but

 she was. She only had one really good friend. None of us understood

 at first, but as we grew older if became blaringly obvious. She was

 in love with her friend. But it was an unrequited love, one that she

 could never have. Every Christmas, she would try to give her gift of

 love to the one she held dear, but every year it went unreturned. No

 one could see that she was slowly freezing to death from the cruel,

 cold emptiness in her heart. Eventually, you could see the pain in

 her eyes, like cracks running through ice. It was frightening to see.

 It always made me feel cold inside when those eyes would turn to me.”

 Naoko pulled her jacket about her tighter, shivering in her chair. “I

 didn’t hear from her after high school, but I heard stories. She

 withdrew more and more as her lonely heart began to pain her even

 further. Yet every Christmas she would offer up her gift and every

 Christmas it would be denied her. One Christmas years ago, she simply

 died. It was as if her body just couldn’t live with that torment

 anymore. I heard that she looked peaceful, at rest. I guess she

 finally found the rest in death that she couldn’t have in life.” A

 cell phone call interrupted her story. Picking it up, she blushed a

 little upon answering. “Nakuru-san! Hai, of course I’ll be home in

 time for dinner.” The blush turned a little deeper as she whispered

 into the phone. “Of course. You know I love seeing you in that dress.

 Alright. I’ll see you in an hour or two.”

 Sakura could only stare into the office, her hand on the window

 shaking softly. Naoko’s story had sent a splinter of ice deep into

 her soul, chilling her very being. Her mind hurried through images of

 classmates, horrified that such a thing could happen. She abandoned

 the quest immediately when a sweet, gentle voice rang out in her

 mind. ‘You know who it is, Sakura-chan. You know who it is very

 well.’ She couldn’t pinpoint the source of the voice, but the

 unsettling feeling that washed over her kept her from searching for

 it. “No... How can something like that happen? That’s terrible...”

 She turned on the shrouded spirit, nearly hysterical. “How can

 something like that happen on Christmas? Christmas is a time of

 love... and joy and... And that’s too sad. No one should have to be

 that lonely on Christmas. No one should ever have to be that lonely.

 It..” she trailed off, hiccuping. Her tears were starting to build

 again and she found it difficult to fight them off. “Please... Please

 show me that there’s still love left in this desolate place...

 Otherwise, what have I fought for? What good did I do? Please...” Her

 voice quavered as she begged the ominous silhouette.

 The shadow did not move, but the scenery around them did. They were

 indoors at last, finally in a heated room. But the house they were in

 offered little warmth. Sakura recognized it almost immediately.

 “Tomoyo-chan’s house!” She exclaimed, a small yet delighted laugh

 coming from her. Yes, that was exactly what she needed. She could see

 Tomoyo, see the love that always flowed from her heart. The woman’s

 warm and caring nature would help through whatever dark time had

 befallen one of their classmates. She knew that what happened to her

 classmate must be a warning, a sign of where her neglect was leading.

 But she couldn’t believe that Tomoyo would ever do such a thing. The

 notion was abstract to Sakura, beyond rational understanding. It

 would never happen. 

 Jade eyes darted around the large room of the mansion, looking for

 any symbol of her dark haired best friend. It was the same room she

 had seen Tomoyo in just a short time before, but now there was no

 Christmas tree, no lights or decorations. It felt... empty. That

 wasn’t to say the furniture and normal items were not there, but that

 a feeling about the room, one that she associated with the house

 itself was missing. Sakura swallowed painfully and turned to the

 spirit. Her mind raced down a dead end tunnel, afraid of what was

 lurking in the shadows at the end of that path. Turning away, she

 bolted out of the room, hurrying for sanctuary, the one place she

 could be sure she would find that feeling again. Tomoyo’s room. The

 house rushed past her in a blur as she made her way to the lodgings

 of her best friend. The door was already ajar, hanging open as if

 pushed by a ghost. Pausing for only an instant, Sakura rushed in

 headlong, hoping and praying that the pale woman who occupied it

 would be sitting there even now, editing videotape or perhaps working

 on a costume. But it was not to be so. Unable to give up hope, the

 brunette looked around the room. A costume lay half finished on

 Tomoyo’s desk, numerous designs neatly laid out near it. A small

 camcorder was resting near the bed, a small stack of videotapes

 nearby. A picture of the room’s owner, several years older than she

 had been in Sakura’s own time and smiling as she sat next to an older

 Sakura sat on the nightstand. The room looked just how Sakura had

 remembered it, even if a few years change were evident. But it all

 had a dull feeling to it, as if it were merely a moment of the past

 captured inside the room, never moving forward but never holding the

 life it once had. ‘When I videotape, I capture moments of Sakura-chan

 frozen on film. I can watch them forever, cherishing these moments

 even when they have long disappeared into the past,’ Tomoyo’s voice

 echoed in Sakura’ panic driven head. She had spoken those words to

 the Cardmistress not more than a week earlier, but they rang eerily

 true in this room that was not truly a room. It had been turned into

 a museum, a snapshot of it’s former self. Sakura’s knees felt weak

 and wobbly, as if they belonged to someone other than the athletic

 brunette. Her stomach felt sick as she shut her eyes tightly, trying

 to force out the images of the long dead room. 

 A faint, sickly sobbing finally drew Sakura out of her pain induced

 game of hide and seek with reality. Like a Siren’s song, she followed

 it, desperate to find it’s source. The voice behind the pain wracked

 sobs sounded so familiar. Who could be in such terrible agony? The

 cries were hopeless, desolate sounds that sent a chill over Sakura

 that was worse than any of the snowstorm she had witnessed. Her feet

 continued moving her forward even after her mind decided it didn’t

 want to see whatever lay at the end of this path. She passed a framed

 picture of her mother next to one by Tomoyo. They were nearly the

 same age in the pictures. Sakura found herself awestruck by the

 similarities. Tomoyo looked remarkably like her mother, something she

 had never truly noticed before, despite Sonomi’s explanations of it.

 It was almost frightening to see the two side by side. Long, dark

 grayish hair clung around both of their shoulders, falling in

 beautiful waves. Both with such pale complexions and such gentle

 smiles. The biggest difference that Sakura could see were their eyes.

 Nadeshiko’s were the same emerald green as Sakura’s whereas Tomoyo’s

 were a deep, stormy blue. ‘Nadeshiko-chan was an angel I was blessed

 to have met,’ Sonomi had once said. “So is Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura

 whispered softly, unable to tear her eyes away from the photographs.

 ‘No!!’ Something inside her screamed. Whatever it was frightened her

 dearly, but it’s message rang clear. No, Tomoyo couldn’t be an angel.

 Not yet. Not yet. Please, not yet...

 Her shaky footsteps finally brought her into the bedroom that housed

 the quiet sobs that filtered through the house like an fine mist,

 blanketing the house in sadness and grief. Sonomi Daidouji, Tomoyo’s

 mother lie on her bed, clutching onto a pillow the way a woman would

 clutch to a life preserver for dear life out in the cold relentless

 ocean. Sonomi had been a beautiful, amazing woman when she was

 younger, of that Sakura was certain. By the time she had met Sonomi,

 something had been stolen from her. Her love remained, but her hope

 and joy had been ripped away from her, leaving her bitter and pained.

 But there was still a warmth in her heart, one that Tomoyo had

 filled. Her daughter had given her some reason to continue on, a

 gentle glow that Sakura had seen time and again in Sonomi’s presence.

 But that was all gone now. Sonomi’s sobs were brittle, broken. There

 was no more joy or warmth inside of her heart. It had all been cut so

 violently away from her. She looked like a woman who had lost

 everything, who had not a soul in the world to hold out for in this

 life. There was a painful resignation in her sobs and Sakura realized

 with shock that it was defeat. Sonomi had always been a firey willed

 woman that continued on despite the pain life had dished out to her.

 But that iron willed determination was gone. Sakura felt a shaky sob

 of her own pass through her body. There was only one thing that this

 could mean. Her mind still refused it with all its might, unable to

 accept it as anything more than a lie. 

 Without warning, the window opened suddenly, spilling white

 crystalline snowflakes about the room. They swirled around Sakura in

 hurried patterns, turning her around as they again filled up her

 vision. 

 

 	When the last of the snow flakes had fallen away from the terrible

 blinding white that had encompassed her, Sakura finally saw that they

 were somewhere that she had not been for quite a long time. Her heart

 froze in her chest, refusing to budge in even the smallest of

 movements. She knew this place from long ago. Memories returned to

 her unbidden, all carrying depths of sadness that she had not dwelled

 on in years. There was not an ounce of snow on the ground. Only a

 dark, dreadful sky that poured down a relentless rain from up above.

 The shadows reached out as if in wait to lurch out and snag

 unsuspecting visitors and lure them to stay in their endless depths.

 This was a cemetery. The last time she had been to one was years

 earlier when she had visited her mother’s grave.  The skies

 themselves had gone from blinding white to an anguished dark indigo,

 almost the same color as Tomoyo’s eyes. The skies above were weeping. 

 	The wet, distraught Cardmistress caught sight of the dark figure

 that was leading her along this dreadful tour up ahead near a

 gravestone. The hand reached out slowly, beckoning her once more.

 Sakura’s legs felt like wet ramen noodles, but somehow she managed to

 close the distance between herself and the cloaked ghost. Her heart

 was pounding in her chest, her mind still trying desperately to

 believe that Tomoyo wasn’t... But Sonomi’s cries were proof enough.

 They gave way the endless torment of a mother who has lost her only

 child. Sakura slowed her pace as she came nearer, holding her hands

 tightly to her chest. “This... This is only a warning, right? I can

 still fix things, can’t I? Please... Please tell me! I can’t... It

 just can’t be this way..” Tears stung her jade eyes, blurring the

 world in front of her, but still it crept forward as her legs moved

 forward of their own will. The ghost just watched her impassively,

 it’s hidden gaze almost unbearable for Sakura. It’s familiar hand

 pointed out to the grave again, demanding Sakura’s attention. The

 Cardmistress balked, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks as the rain

 drenched her body and soul. “Please... Please tell me she’ll be all

 right... I need Tomoyo-chan... She can’t...” Her voice choked off

 with a painful sob as her eyes slowly turned to the tombstone. 

 

 ‘	Tomoyo Daidouji

 Our dear, sweet angel was here for but a short visit,

 But we will never forget the joy and happiness she brought into our

 lives.

 May she soar in ways that this life denied her.’

 

 	Sakura’s head shook slowly, disbelieving the words at first. It

 couldn’t be. No... Deep, endless regret and sadness gripped Sakura

 tightly, wrenching at her heart. Her body shook with the force of the

 sobs wracking her small body. “Tomoyo-chan... Please, no...” Her wet

 hair fell about her face, obscuring her vision along with her now

 freezing tears. She couldn’t tell what were raindrops and what were

 teardrops anymore. Her fingers slowly brushed across the ingrained

 words, her lips trembling as she did. “It’s not fair!” She screamed

 into the storm, her whole body collapsing against the tombstone.

 “Tomoyo-chan...” her hoarse voice whispered as she clung to the

 tombstone as she would her now dead friend. The angel on top looked

 down sympathetically from it’s statuesque eyes. Sakura clutched

 tighter onto the tombstone, ignoring the biting stone against her

 soft, wet skin. She was lost now. What could she do without Tomoyo?

 Her best friend, her support, her confidant, all gone in one fell

 swoop. And with it, all of the love and support that Tomoyo had

 showered on her since they were in the third grade. Gone. Because of

 her neglect. ‘Sakura-chan, you have to be careful with that flower.

 You have to water it and love it every day or it will shrivel and

 die. You must take good care of it,’ her mother’s voice reached out.

 Sakura’s nodded her three year old head with a happy smile. But the

 flower had died. Sakura had forgotten all about it and it had

 withered. ‘Is that what I did to Tomoyo?’ she asked herself, her mind

 still a shattered mirror of grief and sorrow. ‘Did I forget to water

 her and love her? Did I forget all about her until she shriveled up

 and died?’ Harsh, dark cries escaped Sakura, her head pressed firmly

 against the stone. Her heart felt dead in her chest, nothing more

 than a collapsed black hole of pain and suffering. Every time she

 closed her eyes, she could see Tomoyo’s beautiful smiling face. But

 she would never see that smile again. It had been taken from her. She

 had not appreciated the gift that was bestowed upon her and it had

 been returned. “No! No!! Tomoyo-chan!!” Her fist battered against the

 tombstone to no avail, her wrist screaming in agony as she twisted

 it. But that was hardly of any consequence to her anymore. Despair

 wrapped around her soul like a thick blanket. 

 	“Get away from here!” An angry voice called. It took all of

 Sakura’s will to turn towards the voice. A girl that couldn’t be more

 than eight years old stormed forward through the rain, only a small

 umbrella in her hand there to protect her from it’s biting chill. She

 had short, dark hair, and angry indigo eyes. She looked like she was

 barely holding onto her composure, tears sparkling at the edge of her

 eyes. Sakura opened her mouth to answer, but another spoke up before

 she had the chance. Oddly enough, it was her own voice. Somewhat

 older, dulled from what sounded like years of pain.

 	“What?”

 	The little girl shook her head, rain droplets falling away from

 her. “You! You’re Sakura Li, aren’t you?” Her voice was accusatory,

 hateful. As if the very possibility sickened and dismayed her. 

 	Sakura spotted another woman. Herself, she mused. Though some years

 older by now. “I am,” she whispered softly, looking at the girl

 questioningly.  She was standing near the grave, just inches from

 where the past Sakura was holding onto it. Her finger’s brushed

 brunette hair from her eyes.

 	“Get away from there! You’re not wanted here! Stay away from my

 mama!” The girl yelled, her tears beginning to fall down her pale

 cheeks. She was clearly upset by Sakura’s presence, her little body

 shaking in what looked like rage. 

 	Sakura opened her mouth several times but nothing came out. She had

 only seen Tomoyo’s daughter twice before and once had been at the

 funeral. “I’m sorry,” she stated at last in a voice that was nearly a

 whisper. The girl was living with her grandmother now, though Sakura

 hadn’t spoken to Sonomi in quite some time. Her eyes went back to the

 grave and she choked back the tears that lurked just beneath the

 surface. “She was my best friend. I miss her. I just... I wanted to

 give her a Christmas present.” She held up a small wrapped package in

 her hand, gingerly protecting it from the rain.

 	“You killed her! She doesn’t need anything from you! Haven’t you

 done enough!” The younger girl was crying heavily by now, huge tears

 falling past her cheeks. But she never took her eyes off of Sakura,

 dead intent on protecting her dead mother from any further pain. “She

 loved you! She always pretended that it didn’t hurt her, that she was

 happy, but I could tell... I could tell from the stories she told of

 you and how wonderful you were, the times I saw her crying late at

 night when she thought I was asleep. All you did was hurt her!! Get

 away from my mama!” The girl ran up to Sakura, tears streaming down

 her face. She hit at Sakura weakly, trying to fend off the woman who

 had come to her mother’s grave, but her hands soon fell limply to her

 sides. Her small body shook with her sobs for her mama, the one that

 had been taken from her far too early.

 	Sakura squeezed her jade eyes shut tight, tears spilling across her

 own cheeks, mixing with the rain. Kneeling down, she held the young

 girl close, whispering over and over again, “I’m so sorry.” She

 barely noticed the rain anymore, her arms tightly around the young

 girl before her. Tomoyo’s one and only daughter. Looking into those

 tear filled indigo eyes had been like looking once more into Tomoyo’s

 own eyes and it was too much for the brunette to handle. 

 	“She... She got sick...” the girl sniffled, unable to struggle

 anymore. “She got so sick... But she wasn’t scared. She was never

 afraid of dying. I think... I think part of her wanted to die... The

 part that you had ruined... She said that she’d watch me... That

 she’d keep an eye on me... And that she’d watch you, too... But I

 don’t want her to watch you.. Because you’ll just keep hurting my

 mama the way you always did! I hate you!!” Fresh tears broke free as

 the little girl slumped against Sakura. “She loved you so much, but

 you hated her!! You hated my mama!! When she got sick, she didn’t get

 better because of you! Gramma says that her broken heart wouldn’t

 mend because of you so her body died the same way!” Her cries were

 hysterical now, her small body shuddering against Sakura’s.

 	Sakura could only offer her own muffled sobs in reply, her face

 pressed against the young girl’s dark hair. The jagged pieces of her

 heart that remained felt as if they had been set aflame, left to burn

 away until there was nothing left. “I’m so sorry... So, so sorry...”

 Her eyes blinked open slowly, tears still falling from them. “I... I

 never meant to hurt you mama. I... I loved her...” Her voice cracked

 at the confession, her jade eyes closing tightly again as more tears

 threatened to overwhelm her. Yes, she knew that now. She did love

 Tomoyo. She still did. She always had. But she realized it too late.

 She held on desperately to Tomoyo’s only daughter, the two crying

 together in front of an angel’s grave. 

 	“This is what awaits you,” a familiar voice said from behind the

 dark cloak as it stood looming over Sakura. A hand reached down and

 took Sakura’s gently.

 	Sakura shook her head, wiping at her eyes with her cold, frozen

 hands. “Please.. Please say I can fix this. It’s not too late, is

 it?” She looked up tearfully at the shrouded ghost, her eyes

 pleading. “There has to be a way. Tomoyo won’t die like this, will

 she?”

 	The figure reached back and slowly pulled away the dark hood that

 had covered its face. Brunette hair escaped the dark confines,

 followed by emerald eyes. Sakura found herself looking up at her

 mirror image. She herself was the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. The

 still half shrouded Sakura reached down and took Sakura's hand with

 her own, shaking her head. “I don’t know if you can prolong her life

 or if she will still die at this time. But that doesn’t matter. You

 can make what life she does have beautiful and warm. You can share it

 with her, experiencing the joys and pains it brings together. It

 doesn’t matter how much time she has left. It matters how that time

 is spent. Sakura, don’t be afraid of death. Be afraid of an

 unfulfilled life. Even if Tomoyo still dies and becomes your guardian

 angel, at least she will have the beautiful memories of your life

 together. I’m sure mom will watch out for her up there.” Her hand

 pulled away to rest on Sakura’s heart. “The future is for you to

 decide. Please choose carefully, Sakura. For both of our sakes.”

 

 

 	“No!!!” The earth tilted around Sakura, colors blurring together as

 she hurtled through what must have been an endless void. Her shoulder

 slammed down hard into the floor, her bare feet sticking up in the

 air out of her dry and none the worse for wear pajama pants.

 “Hoe...?” Looking around the room curiously, Sakura found that she

 had fallen out of bed. She quickly shifted to her hands and knees,

 joyous realization slowly dawning upon her. Giggles escaped her lips

 as she rose to her feet, twirling around in the early morning

 sunlight. Her eyes spotted the Sakura doll Tomoyo had made for her

 long ago and she instantly seized upon it, hugging the poor thing

 until she was nearly certain it would pop. “I’m back!! Kero-chan, I’m

 back!” Placing the Sakura doll back on the bed, Sakura lifted up the

 sleeping Seal Beast by his hands, twirling around with him. Another

 laugh escaped her as she spun on her foot. “My mom gave me a second

 chance!” Sakura smiled gloriously as she ran to look out at the

 beautiful sunlight spilling through her window. She basked in it’s

 gentle glow, her eyes closed and her arms wide open. Kero muttered to

 himself as he crawled back into his bed, pulling the blankets up

 around himself. It was too early for crazy things like this. But

 Sakura didn’t hear him, too busy with a hundred different thoughts to

 bother. Her hand reached instinctively for the cell phone, but she

 paused halfway through dialing Tomoyo’s number. No, this was

 something she would have to do in person. And that was exactly what

 she would do!

 	Pulling off her pajama top and kicking her pajama pants off, Sakura

 dug through her closet for something to wear. Her eyes finally caught

 on a brown costume on the bed. With cute little antlers. She left the

 closet and picked up the reindeer costume Tomoyo had made for her a

 short time ago but she hadn’t had the time to wear yet. Well, and she

 hadn’t been in a hurry to dress up like a reindeer. But she pulled it

 on quickly, the jingle from the bells giving her a start. Another

 giggle escaped her lips as she realized what it was. Looking in the

 mirror, she sweatdropped as she saw herself dressed up as a cute

 reindeer. It was most certainly one of Tomoyo’s designs. Plenty of

 bells and cute reindeer paw gloves and boots adorned the costume. 

 A snicker came from Touya who was standing in the doorway, leaning

 against the doorframe casually. “You’re not actually wearing that for

 Christmas Day, are you, kaijuu?” he asked curiously.

 	Sakura whirled on him, her natural response getting the best of

 her. Glaring at Touya, she crossed her arms, a chorus of jingling

 following the simple motion. Her face turned red, but she maintained

 her glare. “Onii-chan!!! Tomoyo-chan made this for me! Of course I’m

 going to wear it for Christmas! She went through a lot of trouble to

 make it and you shouldn’t make fun of it!” Oh, if she were a real

 reindeer, she’d skewer him on her antlers right now. But he just

 grinned and patted her on the head, making the bells shake again.

 	“Be quiet on the way downstairs, kaijuu, or you’ll wake up dad.

 Don’t stay out too long or you’ll miss Christmas Breakfast. Which you

 have to help me cook.” Her turned his back to her, heading back

 presumably to his own room. “But on second thought, I don’t need a

 monster helping me cook. I’ll just make it on my own. So don’t worry

 about breakfast. Tell Tomoyo-chan I said hello.”

 	Sakura blinked in confusion for a moment as he walked off. A smile

 slowly spread across her lips and she ran over and gave him a hug

 from behind, bells jingling all the while. Kero pulled a pillow over

 his head to muffle the noise. “Arigato, Onii-chan!!” 

 	Using the Silent to get downstairs without the bells waking up her

 father, Sakura quickly made her way outside. With a few words, she

 was flying through the air to Tomoyo’s house. 

 

 	Landing in front of the large mansion that Tomoyo lived in with her

 mother, Sakura paused before the large door. She hadn’t called

 beforehand and it was probably too early for Tomoyo or her mother to

 be awake. Maybe she should have waited until.. But before she could

 finish her thought, the door sprung open. Tomoyo stood before Sakura

 in the party dress she had seen her in the night before, clutching

 her camcorder in her hand with a sparkle in her eyes. Sakura had a

 moment to realize that Tomoyo hadn’t changed into her nightgown the

 night before because her mother had carried her off to bed. 

 	“Oh, Sakura-chan, it was so cute! I caught it all on videotape! It

 was like a beautiful Christmas wish come true. Sakura-chan the

 reindeer, flying across the sky in her hurry to bring Christmas joy.”

 Tomoyo sighed extravagantly, her free hand on her cheek. “All you

 needed was a cute little sleigh behind you and it would have been

 perfect.” Her hand went under her chin thoughtfully as her gentle

 smile settled in on her still ecstatic features.

 	Blushing deeply, Sakura looked down. She hadn’t quite realized how

 Tomoyo would react to her arrival this way. She should be used to it

 by now. Part of her wanted to know how Tomoyo had gotten it all on

 tape when she hadn’t known she was coming, but it hardly seemed

 important. She smiled herself, glad to see Tomoyo with sparkles in

 her eyes instead of the tears she had shed the night before. Sakura

 lunged forward, hugging Tomoyo tightly. Her heart was overjoyed to

 see Tomoyo again, to feel Tomoyo again, to smell her sweet scent all

 over again. It was almost too good to be true. 

 	Surprised for a brief moment, Tomoyo wrapped her own arms around

 Sakura, gently rubbing her back as she hugged the brunette. She had

 been thrilled to see Sakura on Christmas morning, showing up right at

 her door like Santa’s cutest reindeer. The pain of the night before

 faded into obscurity in Sakura’s warm embrace, driving back

 everything but the love in her heart for the Cardmistress. “I’m so

 glad to see you, Sakura-chan. I was thinking about you a lot last

 night.”

 	Sakura bit her lip as she pulled back slightly, startling Tomoyo

 with her sudden change of behavior. “I know,” she whispered sadly.

 Her emerald eyes flashed with determination as she smiled once again.

 “But you’ll never have to think of me that way again. I promise.”

 	Tomoyo continued to smile, but she was a bit puzzled by what Sakura

 had meant. She merely took Sakura’s hands and led her inside. “Please

 come in, Sakura-chan. There’s a nice fire going and my favorite

 reindeer shouldn’t have to stay in the cold.” Sakura followed

 obediently as Tomoyo led the way. They finally stopped in the same

 room Tomoyo had occupied the night before, the large Christmas tree

 still flashing it’s lights in wondrous patterns, a large fire blazing

 in a fireplace adorned with two stockings. Tomoyo gently sat Sakura

 down with her hands on her shoulders in front of the fire. There was

 mistletoe hanging just about every conceivable place. Kneeling down

 herself, Tomoyo smoothed out her skirt. “This is a wonderful

 Christmas gift, Sakura-chan. Its so wonderful to see you.”

 	The room looked much warmer and comforting in the early morning

 light and it helped to soothe Sakura’s spirits as the memories of

 Tomoyo crying on the couch the night before pushed at the back of her

 mind. Her emerald eyes looked over shyly but determinedly at Tomoyo.

 “Well, that’s not really my present, Tomoyo-chan. Could you open the

 present I gave you yesterday? I have something I want to say along

 with it.” She blushed a bit, her hand going behind her head

 nervously. But her nervousness slowly dissipated as Tomoyo’s gentle

 smile and nod calmed her. Her heart began to beat steadily again as

 Tomoyo hurried over to the gifts under the tree, gracefully picking

 up the gift she had received from Sakura the day before, having gone

 straight to it.

 	Anticipation filled the air as Tomoyo walked back over to Sakura’s

 side, slowly sitting down next to her once more. Her mind wasn’t

 focussed on what it could be, but simply that it was from Sakura.

 That alone was enough to make it a wonderful Christmas present

 indeed. She would have to find someway to repay Sakura with all her

 heart for whatever the gift may be. Noticing that Sakura herself was

 getting anxious, she decided to spare the poor brunette and began to

 unwrap the present. To he shock and delight, it was the same angel

 doll that she had seen Sakura pick up at the Twin Bells shop only a

 day prior. “Sakura-chan, it’s gorgeous.. A beautiful angel from

 Sakura-chan..” She watched it closely for a long moment, admiring the

 beautiful gift her friend had given her. She hugged it tightly,

 closing her eyes as she did. “It’s beautiful. But Sakura-chan, wasn’t

 it for Li-kun?” Tomoyo’s eyes opened curiously, her dark hair

 fluttering about as she turned her gaze once more to Sakura.

 	Sakura shook her head quickly. “I only said that so it would be a

 surprise. I got him a present a while back. When I saw it, I thought

 ‘That’s the perfect gift for Tomoyo-chan. She’s just like an angel,

 so she’ll take great care of it.’” She smiled at the pale girl,

 thrilled to see Tomoyo still delightfully holding the angel doll. To

 her surprise, there were tears in Tomoyo’s eyes as well. They weren’t

 the same bitter tears she had seen the night before, but joyous,

 happy tears that threatened to consume the dark haired girl in what

 amounted to utter bliss. 

 	“It is perfect. Nearly as perfect as you. Thank you so very much,

 Sakura-chan. I will treasure it always,” Tomoyo promised brightly,

 her sweet lips turned into a gorgeous smile. This had to be the

 single greatest Christmas she had ever had. Not only was she spending

 the morning with Sakura, but to receive such a gift from her.. It was

 like the brightest of dreams. 

 	Brushing back her hair, Sakura met Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes with

 her own emerald green ones. “But I was wrong. It’s not the perfect

 gift for Tomoyo-chan. There’s one thing that could be better. One

 thing that I can give to you that I hope can make up for everything.

 A present that I didn’t even realize I had to give until last night.”

 Swallowing deeply to keep her nerves in check, Sakura leaned forward

 and kissed Tomoyo. The dark haired girl was surprised for only a

 fraction of a second before she melted into Sakura’s kiss, kissing

 back with a gentle yet intense fervor that left Sakura a little

 shaken when she finally pulled away. Tomoyo was sitting next to her

 with her bright, all knowing indigo eyes, a radiant smile on her

 lips. The kiss had been small, but world shaking. Tomoyo simply

 beamed in a light that seemed to burn from her heart. Sakura

 surprised herself when she leaned in for a second kiss. Tomoyo’s lips

 were splendidly soft, coaxing her own lips open into a deeper, more

 drawn out kiss that left both girls breathless. “Tomoyo-chan.. I love

 you,” Sakura said as she finally caught her breath.  She realized

 that her hand was in Tomoyo’s hair and that their noses were pressed

 together, Tomoyo’s hands both on her cheeks. 

 	This time tears did spill from Tomoyo’s stormy eyes, dripping onto

 Sakura’s cheeks as they made their path slowly downward. Those were

 the most beautiful words Tomoyo had ever heard and she knew that they

 were words that she could never possibly grow tired of hearing.

 “Sakura-chan... My Sakura-chan..” she whispered softly in her musical

 voice. “I love you so much.” Her lips lightly brushed Sakura’s again

 as she gingerly pulled Sakura closer. Her eyes slipped closed, tears

 still falling from them as they kissed again and again under the

 mistletoe.

 

 	Years and years later, Sakura decorated a Christmas wreath with a

 young dark haired girl with indigo eyes. The two held hands as they

 walked along beautiful green grass under a frosty blue sky. Sakura

 smiled as she reached her destination. She gently set down the

 Christmas wreath in front of the tombstone. It read:

 

 ‘Tomoyo Daidouji-Kinomoto

 Loving wife and devoted mother. Even death can’t keep us apart.

 Please watch over us, my beautiful angel.’

 

 	Sakura’s fingers lightly brushed over the inscription and the name.

 A small tear fell unnoticed down her cheek, but a smile formed across

 her lips. She placed a small present decorated with sakura blossoms

 next to the tombstone.

 The little girl placed her own present next to the tombstone before

 taking Sakura’s hand again. “Merry Christmas, mama!” the girl said to

 the tombstone, placing a small hand on it for a moment.

 Sakura squeezed her daughter’s hand, her eyes still focussed on the

 tombstone in front of her. She could almost feel Tomoyo’s soft

 fingers brush past her cheek comfortingly. Her eyes fell closed and

 she could swear that she could almost smell Tomoyo, could almost feel

 the way her fingers would gently brush against her skin. “I love you,

 Tomoyo. Merry Christmas.”