WARNINGS: There are no sexually explicit scenes in this, but sex is discussed quite openly. LIME warning. The 

 sex discussed is guys with guys, and girls with girls. YAOI and YURI warning. This openly mocks romantic and 

 lemon fan material. PARODY warning. There are refrences to 10 year old girls having sex, for the sake of humor. 

 SEX AMONGST CHILDREN warning. I'll repeat, though, that this is a PARODY PARODY PARODY PARODY 

 PARODY. I'm NOT advocating child pornography. 

 Now, for all of you that weren't scared off (all two of you), here's the fic. 

 **************

 "To-ya, I can't wait any longer, I must tell you! I love you!" 

 "What, do you really mean that, Yuki?" 

 "Oh yes, To-ya, oh yes, I do. With all my heart. Hold me, my love." 

 "With the greatest of pleasures, Yuki-chan. May I call you that?" 

 "Only if I may call you To-ya-chan." 

 In perfect synch, their lips, the texture of a morning glory, came together. Their emotions were as pure as the 

 crystalline dewdrops on the leaves of a morning glory. But quickly a blush came to their cheeks, and they split. 

 Their inexperience made them shy. 

 "My happiness is complete," sighed Yukito. "Now I can spend the rest of my like dedicating myself to you. All that 

 will matter to me now is you, and only you." 

 "I will think only of you," promised Touya. 

 "We will be together forever, I know it." 

 "Yes, beyond eternity, for every lifetime after and before." 

 Yukito's delicate features turned to pale horror. "What, my love, have I said something wrong?" 

 "No, you could never be wrong. It is I. Before you pledge yourself to me, I must tell you my horrible secret." 

 "Yuki-chan, you have kept a secret from me? You have hurt me, and the pain is scratching away at my heart." 

 Yukito wept. "Oh, forgive me! I never wanted to bring you anything but joy and delight. The truth is, I don't even 

 know what my secret it. All I know is that there is something dreadfully different about me, but I'm not sure what." 

 Touya laughed. "I already know that." 

 "Really?" 

 "Sure. You're not human." 

 "Is that all? Whew, what a relief. I thought it was something important." 

 "Let us forget these trivialities. Come, let's go to your house to lose our virginity, in exactly half an hour since our 

 first kiss." 

 "Be careful with me, To-ya-chan. I am frightened of pain, but desire the pleasure, and feel some odd compulsion to 

 satisfy your every whim." 

 "I will be as careful with you as I would be when break an egg shell." 

 "Oh, To-ya-chan." 

 "Oh, Yuki-chan." 

 They kiss passionately, this time with no reserve, and there is doubt whether they will get so far as Yukito's house. 

 But, to the disappointment of all, they only reached second base before they were interrupted. 

 "Hello, onii-chan! Hi, Yukito-san. Hey, why are your shirts open?" Sakura asked. She was holding the hand of an 

 euphoric Tomoyo. The grins on their faces were wide and sloppy. One might assume they saw hickeys on the girls' 

 necks, but then quickly wave that thought as ridiculous, since they are, after all, only ten years old. 

 Yukito was not in the slightest thrown off by Sakura's observant eyes. "Oh, To-ya-chan and I were just making out. 

 Tomoyo, what are you staring at?" 

 "I love Sakura-chan," the girl chanted, in a disturbing stoned-like manner, "And she loves me. I love taking pictures 

 of Sakura-chan. I love kissing Sakura-chan. I love taking pictures of Sakura-chan kissing me. I love Sakura-chan. 

 And she loves me. I love Sakura-chan's body. I love taking pictures. I love taking pictures of Sakura-chan's–" Sakura 

 gave her lover a coy smile, which shut Tomoyo up. The dark haired girl turned [further] into a blubbery mass of love 

 for Sakura. 

 "Tomoyo-chan and I had wild, lesbian sex just ten minutes ago," Sakura explained, "and we even got it on tape! 

 We're going to Tomoyo-chan's house to watch it on her gigantic screen while we fuck each other again like the 

 nymphomaniacs we are. Wanna come?" 

 "Maybe some other time. At the moment, Yuki-chan and I would like to make passionate love." 

 "Oh, I see." 

 "Sakura-chan," Tomoyo thought aloud in a dreamy voice, "I have this adorable outfit I made just for you. It's this 

 pink leather bodice with bunny ears, full of frills and bows. Would you wear it while we...?" 

 "Of course! You know I love showing myself off to you. Would you like me to before we–" 

 "Oh, yes, please! And then..." 

 The two ran off, for waiting any longer would be impossible. 

 Yukito sighed. "Isn't love beautiful?" 

 "Quite, my little snuggle bunny. But enough about my sister and her sex-crazed lover . We have our own loving to 

 do." 

 "Yes, we much catch up with them. Kiss me, To-ya-chan." 

 "What, here, in the middle of the street?" 

 "Right here, right now. It's more exciting like this." 

 "Oh, Yuki-chan." 

 "Oh, To-ya-chan." 

 A storm of flowers encompassed them as they embraced and learned true happiness. 

 ~Fini~

 Next Episode on Voltarian Mush! Will Touya and Yukito have heart-to-heart talks about how much they love each 

 other? Will Sakura and Tomoyo have animal sex five times in six pages, or only four? And will Syaoran join in on 

 the fun? Maybe! But we promise, there will be no Kero-chan! So tune in for the next, never-to-come, Voltarian 

 Mush! 

 **************

 I wrote the first half of this after I got a couple of frustrating messages on the ccs yaoi ml based on my ‘Nothing 

 Personal' fic, complaining that I had mangled the characters. But I do not think I wrote the characters any more out 

 of character than in the sappy fics that these same people gushed over. I love a mushy fic just as much as the next 

 person, but that doesn't mean that they're not any less true to the original story than, say, an angsty fic or a crossover. 

 The story is meant to be humorous, do not get offended insulted. ;) 

 -- Lizabell Waters 

 lizabellwaters@hotmail.com