Dear Sakura

 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.

 amazonessduo@hotmail.com

 pearsong1954@yahoo.com

 

 In the garden, Sakura sat on the stone bench and gazed up into the

 night sky. She was ineffably happy, but couldn't stop crying. At last

 she understood. The auburn-haired woman loved Tomoyo more than anyone

 in the world. She always loved her, but never knew. So many things

 finally made sense: embarrassed feelings around her adoring friend,

 the tortured longings suffered since arriving in Hong Kong, and the

 sheer joy of seeing the lavender-haired woman again. And then, there

 was the kiss that filled her soul with fire and light. No, kisses,

 she thought blushingly. Tomoyo kissing her on this very spot, and

 Sakura kissing the lovely girl as they danced. Kisses. She touched

 her lips with trembling fingers. When they kissed the world melted

 away, leaving only the two of them. Opening her eyes, Sakura felt a

 crimson blush creep up her neck, coloring her delicate cheek. I want

 to kiss her again, she thought. Again, and again, and again.

 

 Most people lucky enough to realize their true love begin to

 consider how their feelings fit into the complex calculus of human

 relations. They worry about other lovers, wives or husbands, jobs and

 money, threats and opportunities. Had Sakura considered all this, it

 might have shaken her gentle, genki spirit. She was married and far

 away from her true love. Tomoyo, she thought, was in love with

 someone else entirely, traveling a path that took her further and

 further away. Were she to cast a cold, clear eye on the situation,

 her trickling tears of happiness might quickly become a river of

 grief and regret. But Sakura's greatest power, that everything would

 be all right, was no mere facade, or posture, or consolation. It was

 who she was. So, sitting on the bench she felt joy and elation, not

 worry and fear. Only knowing the agony that Tomoyo was even then

 enduring might have shaken the heart of the little Cardmistress. But

 of that pain, she was unaware, save for the dim echoes of a distant

 dream. For Sakura true love, once unlocked, was a source of utter

 bliss.

 

 She stayed in that spot for hours, as if some magic lingered from

 her discovery of love. She marveled that in all those years with

 Tomoyo it had never occurred to her before. She shook her head and

 smiled, feeling slightly foolish, as she always did when something

 simple that had eluded her finally came clear. But for all that, it

 was she who had finally realized her own feelings. How strange that

 the love in her heart was so different from what she and everyone

 else had thought her love should be. Her friends had nudged her in

 the direction of Syaoran, and she had accepted the rightness of their

 wisdom. Not that she blamed them. If fault there was it was hers, for

 not knowing what she should have known in the first place. And she

 did like Syaoran; loved him, even. But it was more like the love felt

 for a friend. Her love for Tomoyo was unique, unlike anything else in

 her life. No joy or happiness could compare to the exquisite

 sweetness of this realization. And Sakura felt a tiny light of pride

 that she herself had come to understand what no one else did. But

 then, she really owed this new found knowledge to Dark and Light-

 sama's insistence that only she could solve the riddle of her

 feelings. Remembering this, she felt a sickening shame for arrogantly

 demanding they reveal her true feelings. Glancing up at the stars

 dotting the velvet sky, she sensed for the very first time the dread

 burden of her distant ancestor, Clow Reed. A burden she now shared.

 

 By capturing and transmuting the Cards, Sakura possessed an

 incalculable power. Confronting Light and Dark, she had threatened

 the use of that power to cow the will of another. She came perilously

 close to forcing the beautiful but haughty Light sama to do her

 bidding. Even then, poised on the brink, she sensed the unease and

 fear that her power commanded. What would have happened had Dark-sama

 not intervened? Here was the night's second realization, but it felt

 very different form the joy of discovering her true love. Gazing at

 the garden, Sakura watched the beautiful plants and flowers

 shimmering in the moonlight. Once she had complimented her father on

 his garden, and asked him how he made the plants so pretty. Smiling,

 he told her that he couldn't make them do anything, and would only

 hurt them if he tried, 

 

 "They want to grow and be lovely all by themselves. I just have to

 be here and help them do what they want." As with flowers, so with

 magic. Sakura swore never again to use her power to dominate another

 will. She vaguely sensed where this dark path would lead, and the

 realization chilled her. Closing her eyes, she vowed never again to

 take a single step along so frightful a path. In fact, she would

 start by apologizing again to Dark and Light-sama, thanking them for

 allowing her to make her own discovery of love.

 

 When she had returned to the room and summoned them forth, Dark and

 Light regarded her stumbling apologies with smiling grace. Finally,

 Light spoke up in a glowing voice that lit Tomoyo's guestroom,

 "Sakura-chan has learned two wonderful things tonight! Remember this

 lesson, but do not allow it to dim your bright spirit."

 

 Gently brushing back Sakura's hair, much as a mother would do, the

 glimmering woman kissed her softly on the cheek. Sakura blushed and

 glowed, and Dark-sama tittered merrily behind her hand. In a

 whispering voice the shadowy beauty asked the little Cardmistress,

 "Now that you know of your love for Tomoyo-chan, what are you going

 to tell her?"

 

 Sakura looked thoughtful and then shook her head. With a radiant

 smile she replied, "I don't really know. I want to tell her. Aiyaaa,

 I have to tell her! I couldn't keep something like this a secret. But

 I don't want to do it over the phone, or in a letter. I don't know

 when she is coming back to Hong Kong . Oh, oh, maybe I could go back

 home for a visit, back to Tomoeda, I mean. I really miss my family,

 and was hoping to visit for Christmas, anyway. I could tell her

 then!" 

 

 Sakura remembered all the wonderful Christmases of the past. She

 remembered decorating the tree, perched precariously on a ladder as

 her pink-robed friend plugged in the lights. The tree blazed forth a

 rainbow of light, bathing the girls in multicolored hues as they

 snuggled together and sipped hot cocoa. She remembered hearing

 Tomoyo's beautiful voice in the Christmas Concerts, sweet and strong.

 Though Tomoyo said she sang for the one she loved, everyone shared in

 the blessing of hearing her glorious voice. Finally, Sakura thought

 of all the delightful presents the dark-haired girl had given her.

 Each was carefully chosen, an offering of love from her very best

 friend, brightly wrapped with beautiful paper, skillfully tied up

 with satiny bows and ribbons.  

 

 "This will be my Christmas present to her," Sakura said happily, "so

 she knows that someone loves her more than anyone else in the world."

 She blushed as she thought of the two of them under the mistletoe.

 She longed to kiss Tomoyo, and caught her breath at the memory of

 those petal-soft lips. Opening her eyes, Sakura felt a crimson flush

 of embarrassment blending with her blushing desire, and smiled

 sheepishly as Dark and Light laughed and smiled. 

 

 The three talked long into the night, Sakura gaily recounting her

 adventures with Tomoyo while the two regal women listened and giggled

 like little girls, their hearts thrilled at the sheer joy of their

 Mistress' discovery. Finally, after recounting the wonderful night

 she dined and danced with her friend on the eve of her departure,

 Sakura jumped up in a burst of inspiration. Chanting the words of

 power, she summoned forth Flower, who appeared amidst a burst of

 scented blossoms. Grinning, Sakura bowed low, and Flower graciously

 accepted the offer to dance. 

 

 The two swirled about the guest room, magically expanded to a dance

 floor that stretched to infinity. Holding Flower close, Sakura cried,

 half in joy and half in longing, remembering the pale girl nestled in

 her arms. In memory was pain and promise, a world that lingered in

 her heart. Sakura's tears dotted the air like sparkling diamonds.

 Tomoyo was far away, yet with her still, and ever would be. As she

 danced, Sakura felt the delicate softness of Flower's supple body

 underneath the taffeta frills of her elaborate costume. She ached to

 hold her pale friend close, to kiss her and caress her and unlock all

 of Love’s secrets. She yearned for Tomoyo, for that perfect intimacy

 they shared when they were together. She loved Tomoyo beyond words,

 thought, and life itself. As she hugged Flower tightly, the sweet

 pain of separation tore at her heart. Twirling in a storm of petals,

 Sakura danced to remember, and to forget, and for the sheer joy of

 music and motion. She caught the eyes of her partner, and they

 shimmered like the trembling dew that clings to a rose in early morn.

 Suddenly, a wave of love crashed over Sakua, drowning her as she

 cried for a woman far across the sea. 

 

 "Tomoyo-chan," she sobbed, over and over, "Tomoyo-chan, Tomoyo-

 chan." The ecstasy and pain of a longing heart was hers at last.

 Sakura wept until Dark-sama gently caressed her brow and brought the

 peace of sleep. She slumbered dreamily on the silken quilt that had

 graced her beloved friend. The three women stood around their

 Mistress, watching over her, and smiling through their magical

 tears.  

 

 Sakura awoke entangled in dreams, slow to realize just where she

 was. Catching the faint, lingering scent of Tomoyo, she blushingly

 realized the place she had slept. Smiling, she stretched and rose,

 looking out the window into the bright light of day. It's so late,

 she thought with a start, and then remembered with relief that it was

 Saturday. Her mind wandered to the night before, to her wonderful

 discovery, and the delightful night with Dark-sama, Light-sama, and

 Flower. As the luscious ache of love gripped her again, she felt

 unbearably happy and unbearably sad. Hugging herself tightly, she

 whispered the name, "Tomoyo-chan", just to hear the sound of it.

 Smiling, she sang to herself, "The mail should have come by now.

 Maybe there's a letter!" 

 

 Jumping up, she raced down the hallway and saw white envelopes

 stuffed in the little whicker basket. Excitedly rifling through them,

 she recognized with joy and delight the creamy color that marked

 Tomoyo's letters. With trembling hands she opened it, eager to hear

 the voice of her friend within. Too thrilled to wait, she began

 reading where she stood. But one word changed her blithe happiness to

 a terrible uncertainty: goodbye.  She read it over and over, but

 could not comprehend. Goodbye. She stared at the paper, as if it was

 written in some indecipherable language: "Sakura-chan, I'm very

 sorry, but I'll be going away soon. ...Goodbye, Sakura-chan."

 Finally, the meaning wound it's way to her heart, and she dropped to

 the floor, stunned. 

 

 On her knees she closed her eyes and whispered shakily, "No." Tomoyo

 was leaving her, forever. She wanted to scream, but so deep was the

 shock that she could only whimper. Her body tensed as a spasm of

 terror shook her. Goodbye. Desolation welled up within, and her

 vision grayed and narrowed, as if she were falling into a long, dark

 tunnel. She teetered on the brink of fainting, but was suddenly drawn

 back. Clenching her fists, a determined heart pounding in her chest,

 she whispered again, but this time in a firm and steely voice,

 

 "No."

 

 She stood up, swaying and unsteady, gripping the armoire for

 support. Seeing the nearby phone, she walked over and dialed a number

 she knew by heart. A woman's voice answered,

 

 "Daidouji residence, may I help you?"

 

 Sakura's voice was precise and even, "Is Daidouji Tomoyo home?"

 

 "No, Ma'am, she is out. May I take a message for her when she

 returns?"

 

 Sakura lowered the phone, which disconnected with a click. She

 hesitated but a second, and then called the airport, booking the

 first flight to Tokyo. Then she called her brother, and after the

 briefest hello requested a ride. He was too startled to tease her,

 let alone ask what was going on. After she confirmed her flight and

 time, he scowled after she hung up with a curt goodbye. The final

 call was for a taxi, which would arrive in a few minutes. Sprinting

 to her room, she threw a few things into her duffle bag from school,

 and began to rush out. But her eyes fell on the half-finished costume

 Tomoyo had left, and impulsively she grabbed it and placed it gently

 in the bag. The brassy honking of a car echoed down the hallway as

 she ran. One of the maids stood in a doorway and gaped as she flew

 by. With a sudden stop, she pivoted and ran back to the startled

 girl. Sakura realized with embarrassment that she had forgotten her

 name. With a smile she bowed and said all in a rush, 

 

 "Please tell Ieran-sama I had to fly to Japan. I'll call when I

 arrive. Thank you!"

 

 With that, she burst out the door to the waiting taxi, leaving the

 speechless maid behind.