view old/stories/dearsakura-11.txt @ 3:4a98b0ae6e0b moonlitnights

[svn r4] got moon images from NASA!
author rlm
date Sun, 14 Mar 2010 07:01:51 -0400
parents fc00894c1d4a
children
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1 Dear Sakura
2 by Amazoness Duo and G.P.
3 amazonessduo@hotmail.com
4 pearsong1954@yahoo.com
6 “It’s beautiful, Sakura-chan!” Tomoyo’s melodious voice said as they
7 both paused in front of the Jumbo restaurant. Her words were an
8 understatement to the surreal view of the floating restaurant ahead
9 of the two women. Water splashed around it as the many lights played
10 across Tomoyo’s pale skin.
11 “Hoe...” The sight before them was a pleasant surprise to Sakura as
12 well. She had been to a number of restaurants with Syaoran when they
13 had first come to Hong Kong, but this hadn’t been one of them. Which
14 was part of her decision to take Tomoyo to it now that it was her
15 last night in Hong Kong. That thought lay over her soul like a heavy
16 cloak, it’s weight almost unbearable. But she tried to force it off,
17 wanting to enjoy what little time they had left. She had wanted to
18 take Tomoyo out for dinner, just the two of them. A chance to be
19 alone together one last time. Now she was glad for her decision. The
20 restaurant looked majestic with the waves crashing around it.
21 Watching her spirited friend, Tomoyo smiled happily to herself. For
22 all of it’s splendor, the restaurant ahead of them was nothing in
23 comparison to Sakura. She was simply gorgeous in the beautiful blue
24 Chinese dress she was wearing. Her soft brunette hair framed her
25 pretty face perfectly, her expression still one of surprise.
26 Squeezing Sakura’s hand lightly, her eyes sparkled when she saw
27 Sakura turn to her. This was wonderful, standing with Sakura together
28 while they waited to be seated at a restaurant as if they were on
29 some sort of magical date. Only being able to have the whole thing on
30 videotape could make it any better. Or perhaps if it were a real
31 date... But Tomoyo was pleasantly thrilled just to be there with
32 Sakura on something that came close enough to a date for her liking.
33 Sakura found herself blushing slightly at the way Tomoyo was
34 looking at her. It was the same warm and loving expression that
35 Tomoyo had always given her when she had the dark haired woman’s full
36 attention. Which was more often than not. She averted her gaze after
37 a few seconds, once again busying herself with the beautiful
38 establishment in front of them. She wasn’t sure what she’d say if she
39 kept looking into those stormy blue eyes. They were almost hypnotic.
40 “Well, we better get going before they decide to give away our
41 seats.” Tomoyo agreed enthusiastically and the two finally entered
42 the restaurant.
44 True to its gorgeous exterior, the inside was just as exquisite.
45 And completely packed. For a while, Sakura worried that even with her
46 reservations she wouldn’t be able to get a table. But the Li family
47 was very important in Hong Kong, and Sakura Li was treated no
48 differently. Before too long, she and her dark haired best friend had
49 been seated and their orders taken. “Are you sure that’s all you
50 want, Tomoyo-chan? You can get more if you want,” Sakura said upon
51 realizing how little the pale woman had ordered. Then again, Tomoyo
52 had never eaten a considerable amount, her slim figure almost seeming
53 frail.
54 Tomoyo smiled politely and shook her head, her beautiful lavender
55 tresses swaying behind her. “No, I’m fine, Sakura-chan. I think I’m
56 still full from the banquet. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much
57 food in one place before. Poor Kero-chan must have been very
58 disappointed not to be invited.” Both women giggled softly, the
59 tension fading away somewhat. This was Tomoyo’s last night in Hong
60 Kong and though neither woman had spoken it directly, it was
61 lingering unsaid between the two of them. This was their last chance
62 together, and Tomoyo still hadn’t decided how she should react to it.
63 Her initial decision about the whole trip had been to hide her
64 feelings for Sakura, to tone down her endless affection for the
65 brunette in fear that it would be unwelcome with her marriage.
66 But Sakura had baffled her upon her arrival. It was like returning
67 to a loved one after years of absence. She could imagine it was
68 similar to when Syaoran had returned to Sakura. She had greeted
69 Tomoyo with such warmth and affection, staying nearby during the
70 trip, her love almost seeming to echo Tomoyo’s own. It was eerie and
71 not at all what she had expected, but it had grasped onto her heart
72 quickly and wouldn’t let go. Sakura had always been very loving with
73 her, but this went beyond all of her own expectations. It was almost
74 as if Sakura’s love mirrored her own. It rattled the locked cage of
75 her heart, drawing her love and adoration out from behind the masks
76 she had erected. Hiding her love from Sakura was impossible, she knew
77 that now. It was all she could do to keep from blatantly telling
78 Sakura of her feelings, something she knew would certainly be
79 disastrous. If Sakura knew how she felt, it would cause endless
80 turmoil for her marriage and their friendship. She simply couldn’t
81 allow that. Sakura’s happiness meant everything to her. But still, it
82 was almost impossible to deny the feelings she was getting from the
83 brunette, the way she had kissed back, the way she was acting. When
84 was the last time she had seen Sakura acting like this? With Yukito?
85 No, this didn’t have the same trappings of a crush that her behavior
86 with Yukito had indicated to Tomoyo early on. Which led up to some
87 very confusing conclusions for the dark haired designer. She was
88 having a much harder time telling herself that there was nothing
89 there. Looking into Sakura’s eyes, seeing those bright emerald orbs
90 looking back into hers, she could see something that both thrilled
91 and frightened her.
92 There was something there that was growing inside Sakura. Just what
93 it was, Tomoyo was still left a little unsure. Her mind kept
94 returning to the kiss and moments before when Sakura had been holding
95 her. The one thing Tomoyo could be sure of was that she would soon
96 begin to disrupt Sakura’s life if she allowed these feelings of the
97 Cardmistress’s to continue. Sakura had a husband, a new life in Hong
98 Kong. Tomoyo was an anchor tying her down to the past. Perhaps now
99 more than ever. She had wanted to come to Hong Kong as a way to help
100 Sakura let go of the past, but it seemed that she was making it
101 worse. It was painful being so near Sakura, loving her so completely
102 while knowing that she was still married to her true love. So close,
103 yet so far. Look, but don’t touch. It felt as if she were an infinite
104 distance away from Sakura at times when they were only feet apart.
105 But her love could travel that distance. Even if Sakura couldn’t see
106 it. Was Syaoran really Sakura’s true love? The dark haired woman had
107 been so intent on finding the person that could make Sakura happy
108 that she had truly believed it was Syaoran. Now she wasn’t so sure.
109 After Ieran’s words and her time spent with Sakura, she couldn’t be
110 so certain that he was anymore. But it was too late for any of that.
111 He had to be the one for Sakura. He had to. And Tomoyo could do
112 nothing but disrupt that, tearing apart Sakura’s happiness by staying
113 with her.
114 That was why she had decided late the night before, through many
115 tears and much heartache, that this was goodbye. Not that she could
116 come out and tell Sakura that, of course. Or that she would even act
117 on it all at once. No, this was their last time together. She would
118 never return to Hong Kong after this trip. She was now more sure than
119 ever that the only way to keep Sakura truly happy was to fade out of
120 her life. Staying would be too painful for the brunette as her
121 feelings became more confusing and as Tomoyo remained an ever present
122 reminder of her past. She had to admit that part of her reasoning was
123 that she couldn’t handle it herself. After being so close to Sakura,
124 feeling her heart in a new way and sharing her first kiss with her
125 best friend, it was too painful to remain in her life knowing that
126 she was no longer necessary to it. So she would fade away. Slowly at
127 first, until she could slip out of Sakura’s life. By then she would
128 be nothing more than a memory in Sakura’s happy life. A memory that
129 would not be missed.
130 Smiling her sweet, happy smile that she always managed to keep up
131 for Sakura's sake, she managed to smile a little brighter at the
132 brunette. She wanted to leave on a happy note. A glorious note. One
133 that would leave Sakura with good memories of her friend’s visit. So
134 she would not let her pained feelings inside get a foothold again
135 like she had the night of the kiss. No, this time she would be all
136 smiles for Sakura. She would be everything for Sakura. Because she
137 loved her.
138 Returning Tomoyo’s smile, Sakura brushed back a lock of hair from
139 her eyes. The restaurant was gorgeous. She must have done more
140 sightseeing in her time during Tomoyo’s visit than she had during her
141 entire time prior in Hong Kong. Oh, the wonderful things she had
142 seen! It was truly a beautiful city. But the best part had been that
143 she had been able to see it with her best friend. Such things were
144 always infinitely more amazing when you could experience them with
145 someone important to you. “It was a lot of fun, Tomoyo-chan. Thank
146 you for everything." The light on Tomoyo almost made her look like a
147 part of the surreal design of the restaurant, adding to its beauty.
148 Tomoyo looked a little surprised, something she rarely was. Shaking
149 her head, she quickly came back to the present, tilting her head to
150 the side. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, Sakura-chan. I
151 had a lovely time. I always have fun when I’m with Sakura-chan. And
152 anything is a great excuse to spend more time with you. I just like
153 to be around you.”
154 They were words that Sakura had heard thousands of times before by
155 this very same woman, but all the same they brought an embarrassed
156 blush to the brunette’s cheeks. Most likely, she thought, because she
157 knew they were absolutely true on Tomoyo’s behalf. The tone in her
158 soft, gentle voice sent a trill through Sakura’s mind. There was so
159 much underlying it, so much that she never truly understood yet
160 always made her happy to hear. But what caught her attention was
161 something else entirely. Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes once again looked
162 frozen, out of place with the beautiful smile on her face. It was as
163 if those shining windows had been boarded up to hide something deep
164 inside. Sakura shook her head. It must be her mind playing tricks on
165 her. Now that Tomoyo was leaving, she felt a deep well of sadness
166 inside. She didn’t want Tomoyo to leave. Her presence had made the
167 past few days some of the happiest in Sakura’s life. But knowing that
168 it was all coming to an end made it almost impossible to enjoy what
169 little time they had left together. She didn’t know what to do. The
170 Cardmistress felt so lost and alone now that Tomoyo would be going
171 back to Tomoeda. She needed Tomoyo. She needed to see her smiling
172 face, to hear her loving voice, to feel her gentle embrace, to feel
173 those soft lips... Sakura shook her head, trying to concentrate. She
174 wanted Tomoyo to stay, to know that her best friend would always be
175 there. But she had her own life back home. Like she had said, they
176 had gone down different roads now. This was merely a brief detour.
177 The waitress finally arrived with their food, interrupting both
178 women from their thoughts. “It looks delicious, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo
179 took a small bite of her meal before looking back to Sakura. “Oishi,”
180 she said, smiling at the brunette. Despite all of Hong Kong’s
181 elegance and beauty, Sakura still stood out amongst all of it for
182 Tomoyo. It all paled in comparison to the young Japanese bride that
183 Tomoyo was lucky enough to have the pleasure of calling her best
184 friend. Even sitting across from her with a slightly quizzical look
185 as she tasted a certain cuisine for the first time, she was utterly
186 gorgeous. Tomoyo smiled brighter as she watched Sakura take a sip of
187 her meal. “You can have some of mine if you’d like, Sakura-chan,” the
188 dark haired girl offered.
189 Sakura smiled happily at the offer. “Arigato, Tomoyo-chan! Next time
190 I’ll be a little more careful about what I order. It sounded like a
191 good thing.” Her smile turned sheepish as she looked back at her own
192 meal before meeting gazes with Tomoyo again. To her surprise, Tomoyo
193 brought her own chopsticks up to Sakura’s mouth. The brunette blinked
194 for a second before opening her mouth. With delicate precision,
195 Tomoyo fed her the bite of food.
196 “Sakura-chan looks so cute when she’s being fed,” Tomoyo said simply
197 as she took another bite up to Sakura’s mouth. Her eyes seemed to
198 sparkle as she watched the Cardmistress intently, earlier thoughts
199 lost in her current state of bliss that being near Sakura always
200 managed to affect her with. Sakura’s blush faded slowly as she
201 continued to eat from Tomoyo’s chopsticks. The two sat in relative
202 silence, but there wasn’t anything awkward about it. It was pleasant
203 and warm, drowning out the noise that all the other patrons were
204 making. Before long, Tomoyo had fed Sakura all of her plate.
205 Sitting back, Sakura finally realized that she had been leaning
206 forward the entire time. No doubt for Tomoyo to feed her. She felt
207 giddy and bubbly, excited and content all at once. This was
208 wonderful, being here with Tomoyo, spending their time together this
209 way. It felt like they had never been apart. Like it had always been
210 this way, the two of them. Tomoyo had always been there for her, but
211 it felt nice to be alone with her, to be able to concentrate solely
212 on the toy designer for once. On the cute little things she did and
213 said. On the feelings that coursed through her at just being there
214 with her. It was nice to be going out to dinner with her. It was
215 almost like her dates with Syaoran. But it was so different in many
216 aspects. There wasn’t that embarrassing uneasiness that usually went
217 along with her dates or the unsteady silence as she tried to come up
218 with what to say. It just didn’t matter. She didn’t have to say
219 anything at all and it was perfectly all right. Tomoyo’s eyes seemed
220 to be able to read her perfectly. It was a wonderful sensation. And
221 after all of Tomoyo’s trip, it was difficult to think of anything to
222 say that didn’t have to do with their parting soon. So it was a
223 blessing to be able to just cherish their time together. The two
224 women chatted pleasantly about certain things, none of any great
225 significance. It was enough to know that the other was there.
226 After a brief silence, Sakura looked down, struggling to put her
227 feelings into words. Being with Tomoyo had such a tremendous affect
228 on her, as she had recently been aware of, but the flurry of emotions
229 was difficult to pin down. She knew they were of love. A strong and
230 powerful love that swept her off her feet and nearly pulled her along
231 in the cyclone of her feelings. But such a love for her best friend
232 seemed so strange, that it would be so much more encompassing than
233 even her love for her husband. It left her dizzy in its wake, unsure
234 of what to say to the beautiful lavender haired woman. The love that
235 she experienced from Tomoyo felt equally as powerful, though it
236 seemed to have much more direction than Sakura’s own confused
237 feelings. It was all encompassing yet direct at the same time, never
238 leaving her whenever Tomoyo was present. In all that the pale woman
239 did, Sakura could feel that same love that Tomoyo so delicately took
240 care of. Her body shuddered lightly at even the feel of Tomoyo’s hand
241 encompassing her own on the table, the fingers slowly entwining with
242 her own. “Tomoyo-chan,” she began, nervously. “When I’m with you,
243 I... Sometimes I feel like my heart’s pounding in my chest and I feel
244 breathless like I’ve been running for miles even though I’ve been
245 standing still. I feel like... Like there’s magic in the air, like
246 it’s in everything that you touch. I feel so happy when we’re
247 together. Sometimes I feel dizzy, like it’s too much. But then I know
248 that you’ll catch me if I fall. So I’m never afraid. Even when it
249 feels like my heart will burst from too much inside, it just seems to
250 grow and grow. I don’t know how to talk to Syaoran-chan about any of
251 this. But I guess that’s okay. I’ve heard you say things like this
252 before and I think I’m starting to understand them. Not all of it,
253 but some. I just... I’m really glad you’re here.”
254 Tomoyo watched Sakura for a long moment, playing her words over and
255 over again in her head. Sakura almost looked like a scared puppy,
256 unsure of how Tomoyo would react. Tomoyo was still a little surprised
257 herself. The brunette’s words were so earnest, so heartfelt, that
258 Tomoyo was having difficulty writing off the feelings Sakura had
259 expressed. A soft smile crossed her lips. Bringing Sakura’s hand up,
260 she kissed it softly, delicately. “Sakura-chan, you always make me
261 feel very special. You really don’t know how much happiness you have
262 given me over the years. Hearing you say that makes me very glad for
263 the time we’ve been able to spend together. You’re very important to
264 me, Sakura-chan. Hearing what’s in your precious heart is a thrill to
265 me because I’ve always wanted to know that it was beating happily. It
266 sounds like Sakura-chan’s heart is very much like mine.”
267 “But, Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want your heart to burst from all of that
268 love locked up inside of you. Please tell me who has the key. I know
269 that your love for your special someone must be very strong. I don’t
270 know how you can handle it,” Sakura shook her head sadly, her hand
271 still holding onto Tomoyo’s as their eyes met from across the table.
272 Tomoyo just smiled, perhaps a little sadly. Slowly standing up, she
273 brought Sakura up with her. Dinner was done and there was no reason
274 to stay. “Sometimes I wonder if the key is still out there, Sakura-
275 chan. Or maybe it’s already been lost. But it doesn’t matter. The
276 feelings inside of you are happy, aren’t they, Sakura-chan? So are
277 mine. Because when I close my eyes, my special someone is smiling.
278 And it is the most beautiful, shining smile that I have ever seen.”
279 Her eyes never left Sakura as she stood close to the Cardmistress,
280 their hands held. Yes, Sakura’s smile was like the gentle touch of
281 angels. It would forever soothe her aching heart as long as she knew
282 it was there.
283 Sakura sighed, but she quickly brightened visibly. “Would you like
284 to dance, Tomoyo-chan? I think Fanren-chan mentioned a place nearby
285 before we left. I remember you said that you liked to dance, even if
286 you haven’t in a long time. And I know you can’t with your special
287 person, but I’d still be happy to dance with you.”
288 A soft giggle came from Tomoyo as she nodded. “I would love to dance
289 with you, Sakura-chan. More than anything. I can’t think of a better
290 way to end the night.” With that, the two made their way quickly out
291 of the restaurant towards a night of dancing.
293 The two woman glided across the slightly crowded floor to
294 romantically slow music playing all around them. Tomoyo was currently
295 leading the pair as they began a new dance. Her long, lavender hair
296 swayed around her, moving along with Tomoyo’s own elegant movements.
297 The rest of the dancers hardly seemed to exist for the two friends.
298 How long they had been there remained a mystery, but it didn’t
299 matter. Acknowledging the time would be a step closer to ending the
300 night, and neither was in any hurry for that. So instead they
301 continued to dance, entangled in the almost hypnotic quality the
302 music had as it kept them dancing together.
303 Sakura was not an accomplished dancer by any means, but she had
304 certainly enjoyed whatever chances she had to do so, whether that be
305 with Flower or with her husband. But never had she caught herself
306 enjoying it as much as she did now, Tomoyo’s fluid grace seeming to
307 pull her in further and further. Sakura was much more athletic, but
308 Tomoyo still had a certain elegance to her that always seemed to
309 shine through in such things, whether it be art or singing or even
310 editing videotape. And like everything else, Sakura found herself
311 being dragged along by Tomoyo’s sweet albeit persistent nature. She
312 gave herself up to it, letting it lead where it would. She followed
313 along as Tomoyo continued to slow dance with her, wishing that the
314 song would continue on for just one more minute. That was all she
315 wanted. Just another minute.
316 Once again Tomoyo found herself wishing she had brought her
317 camcorder along for the night’s activities. This was perfect, dancing
318 along with Sakura as the night marched inexorably forward. She had
319 ignored any semblance of a clock, much happier with the seemingly
320 eternal moment they seemed trapped in together. The feel of Sakura
321 near her would linger in her mind long after it was gone, she knew.
322 Sakura’s sweet scent, the way she felt through the soft fabric of her
323 dress, the way her eyes sparkled in the dim light while they danced,
324 it would all remain with her. But if only she could have it on
325 videotape! Even asking a complete stranger to videotape the two of
326 them sounded perfectly reasonable at the moment. Then she could watch
327 this tape of their date over and over again when she returned home.
328 Well, their almost date, anyway. But it was close enough. It
329 certainly felt more than romantic enough to the lavender haired girl
330 at any rate, who shifted to let Sakura lead as the next song began.
331 If she could have one wish, it would be to stop time here, to let
332 this moment stretch out for an eternity. She could think of no better
333 way to spend it than in Sakura’s arms, dancing happily with her.
334 Well, perhaps she could think of several others, but they would
335 require far more than a simple wish. For the time being, Tomoyo would
336 be quite content if the music would just roll on forever, allowing
337 her all of that time to be with her beloved. She enjoyed the dancing
338 immensely. It afforded her the chance to not think about anything.
339 Her thoughts were far from the forefront of her mind, leaving only
340 her feelings and Sakura to take up her full attention. There were no
341 words or questions spinning through her mind now. It was only love
342 and joy and the rhythmic moves of dancing as she and Sakura carried
343 on.
344 How long had they been dancing? Sakura had no idea anymore. Nor did
345 she care. The night had been wonderful. Dancing had been a sweet
346 icing on the cake. The Cardmistress smiled to herself as Tomoyo
347 rested her head on her shoulder, their bodies swaying lightly
348 together to the music. Bringing her hand up, Sakura’s fingers lightly
349 brushed through the silken strands, feeling them slip between her
350 fingers. Tomoyo sighed softly against her. It was a happy, contented
351 sound. Sakura’s heart swelled to hear it and she held on tighter to
352 Tomoyo, still moving lightly as the music continued playing. After a
353 brief moment’s hesitation, Sakura brushed some of the dark hair away
354 from one of Tomoyo’s ears. “Tomoyo-chan, I don’t want you to be
355 lonely. You’re so pretty, and kind, and gentle, and loving. You just
356 can’t be alone. I love you too much to see you alone.”
357 “I’m not lonely when I’m with you,” Tomoyo replied softly, snuggling
358 closer against Sakura, her head shifting on the brunette’s shoulder.
359 “When I’m with you, nothing else seems to matter. I’m just so happy
360 that I can be with Sakura-chan that everything else fades into the
361 background. I’m very pleased that you think of me so highly. Hearing
362 you say things like that makes my heart beat faster. I love you,
363 Sakura-chan,” she whispered at last, closing her eyes. Today had been
364 an emotional rollercoaster. No, the entire trip had been. But little
365 moments like this revitalized her, reminding her in a gentle voice
366 that this was exactly why she loved Sakura.
367 “I love you, too, Tomoyo-chan,” Sakura whispered in return, holding
368 onto Tomoyo tightly. She didn’t want to let her go. She never wanted
369 to let her go. Never again. It didn’t feel right to be without her.
370 She needed Tomoyo. This feeling, this peaceful feeling that
371 encompassed her body and soul was missing whenever Tomoyo was gone.
372 Her heart begged for the toy designer to stay, but she dared not ask
373 that of her. She couldn’t.
374 Tomoyo giggled again, her voice softly muffled against Sakura’s
375 shoulder. Her dark hair was spilt over Sakura and herself now, her
376 body leaning against Sakura’s. ‘Oh, how I wish that were true. I
377 would give anything to know that with all certainty. I would live my
378 entire life to make you happy, Sakura-chan. I love you so much,’ she
379 thought to herself. Aloud, she said, “I still think my love and your
380 love are different things, Sakura-chan.” This time she left off the
381 offer to explain when she was older. No, there would be no
382 explanation, she had decided. It would only make things more
383 difficult for Sakura. And for herself. Her love was best kept hidden.
384 Even if it did hurt terribly sometimes. But that’s why she would
385 always treasure moments like these.
386 “How can you be sure?” Sakura asked, her voice questioning. She
387 could remember Tomoyo saying that before, but for some reason it was
388 troubling her. Why would their love be any different? Why wouldn’t it
389 be the same? She almost felt surrounded by the feelings in her heart,
390 all of them attached like strings to the woman in her arms.
391 “I’m not so sure sometimes,” Tomoyo whispered back quietly. Her
392 head slowly pulled off of Sakura’s shoulder, her stormy blue eyes
393 shimmering as they met Sakura’s jade orbs. Her fingers gently cupped
394 Sakura’s chin as a phantom of a smile played across her lips. Her
395 whole body ached for the feel of those lips just one more time. For
396 that passionate embrace, for the flood of emotions she had received
397 from Sakura. But her fingers slowly slipped away, falling back to her
398 side. Her head rested once again on Sakura’s shoulder. No, if she was
399 going to fade away, then that memory would be what would burn in her
400 heart forevermore. She would savor that one kiss always. She closed
401 her eyes once more and lost herself in Sakura’s warm embrace.
402 Sakura held her gently, lovingly. She still didn’t understand what
403 the dark haired woman had meant by all that, but right now she didn’t
404 feel like asking her. She just wanted to hold her until the morning
405 came. Maybe it never would. Maybe if she held on tight enough, Tomoyo
406 would never have to leave her side again. After Tomoyo’s visit,
407 returning to life without the gentle presence of the toy designer was
408 utterly inconceivable. Sakura couldn’t imagine life without her, not
409 knowing she was right there, not being able to be with her. Now that
410 she had seen Tomoyo again, she knew what it was that had been missing
411 since she had moved to Hong Kong. Not her family or friends, although
412 she missed them dearly. But Tomoyo herself. The feelings inside her
413 that expanded in joy when they were together, that felt so cold and
414 alone when they were apart, told her this much. Even if she couldn’t
415 quite name it, she knew it to be true.
416 A feeling welled up in Sakura’s anxious heart that she could only
417 vaguely remember feeling quite some time ago. It was a devastating
418 mix of pain, fear, abandonment, and loss all bundled up inside of
419 her. These weren’t the feelings she’d had when Syaoran had left,
420 though she had missed him terribly. These were the feelings she could
421 only remember as if from a dream when her mother had been taken away
422 from her. She had only been three years old at the time, still a
423 young child. But the feelings were as potent as the day she had found
424 out what had happened to her mother. It tore at her heart with a
425 vicious ferocity, like some caged beast that had finally escaped.
426 Sharp claws raked at her soul as tears begin to drip down her cheeks.
427 She held onto Tomoyo tighter, her body shaking ever so slightly. Why
428 was she feeling this way? It wasn’t like Tomoyo was going away for
429 good. She would see her again. They would still write letters and
430 talk on the phone. They would still be best friends forever. But some
431 of what Tomoyo said had been haunting her, refusing to completely
432 leave. Thoughts of an aching void in her life where Tomoyo had once
433 been were teasing her mind. She didn’t want the morning to come. It
434 would come and snatch Tomoyo away from her like the talons of some
435 ancient dragon. And she would be left alone. Yes, she would have her
436 prince. But was that enough? She felt like her heart was being torn
437 asunder in her chest. Choked sobs escaped her lips as she grasped
438 desperately onto her pale friend.
439 A warm tear dropped down onto Tomoyo’s neck, startling her out of
440 the daze she had fallen into. Holding onto Sakura, swaying in the
441 music had brought time to a standstill. There was no tomorrow. There
442 was no yesterday. There was only now. A bright spot in her life that
443 she would forever hold dear the same as she held onto Sakura at that
444 very moment. But Sakura’s shaky sobs quickly brought her back to the
445 slightly crowded dance floor. She was instantly concerned, but part
446 of her knew the problem already. This was it. This was their
447 farewell. Sakura didn’t know it, but this was the last time they
448 would ever see each other. Sakura was a very emotional woman. Parting
449 must be hell for her. Tomoyo knew how painful it was. She couldn’t
450 bear the thought of being away from Sakura anymore than she could
451 quit breathing. She needed Sakura. All of her. She was the lifeblood
452 of Tomoyo’s life. But at the same time, she knew that she had to go.
453 Oh, she could always pack up and move to Hong Kong. Her mother
454 wouldn’t be happy about it, but it would be easy enough. She could
455 stay nearby and visit Sakura every day. But then she would be
456 dangerously close to throwing away all that she had worked for to
457 make Sakura happy. That would risk damaging her marriage to Syaoran
458 if Tomoyo got too involved and also could ruin their friendship if
459 things progressed any further than they already had. She couldn’t
460 risk Sakura’s happiness for her own selfishness. And she also knew
461 that being so close to Sakura, watching her from such a short
462 distance, her heart pounding every second for her, it would kill her.
463 Just as surely as any knife’s blade. That pain would be even worse
464 than never seeing Sakura again. At least if she left, she knew that
465 Sakura’s happiness would be safe and that she would always have her
466 memories. She could live with that. She had to. But staying would be
467 a form of exquisite torture, slowly tugging and battering the cage in
468 her heart. “Sakura-chan...” Tomoyo whispered softly, her lithe
469 fingers stroking the other woman’s back through the thin fabric of
470 her dress. Her head lifted off of Sakura’s shoulder, her eyes meeting
471 Sakura’s as she stood pressed against the Cardmistress. Gentle
472 fingers went up over Sakura’s shoulders, up her neck, and along her
473 cheeks, wiping away Sakura’s warm tears. Tomoyo’s kind, loving gaze
474 penetrated Sakura’s emerald green eyes as she continued to wipe her
475 tears away. “Please don’t cry, Sakura-chan. No matter how far apart
476 we are, I’ll always be with you. My heart will always be tied to
477 yours.”
478 The last of her strength crumbling away from her, Sakura clutched
479 onto Tomoyo, sobbing quietly against her. Her heart cried out to her,
480 those feelings returning stronger, more urgent, but she couldn’t make
481 them out. She didn’t understand. It was like her heart was speaking
482 another language. All she knew was that she didn’t want Tomoyo to go
483 away. The world would be too dark a place. Too bland. Too real.
484 Tomoyo added a dreamlike quality to life, one that always enveloped
485 Sakura. Her days would be too normal without Tomoyo’s eccentric
486 activities and her embarrassing remarks. She would be too weak
487 without Tomoyo’s constant affection and support. She had Syaoran to
488 lean on, but Tomoyo made that unnecessary. She brought up a strength
489 and courage inside Sakura that wasn’t there without her. The thought
490 of never seeing Tomoyo again, disappearing from her life as her
491 mother had so long ago again pierced the chaos inside of her. “Please
492 don’t ever leave me, Tomoyo-chan...” Sakura sobbed.
493 Tomoyo froze at Sakura’s words, unable to do much more than hold
494 onto the grief-stricken Cardmistress. It was as if Sakura had heard
495 her thoughts from earlier that night. Words escaped Tomoyo, eluding
496 her tongue as she tried desperately to think. She had never been able
497 to lie to Sakura. It was nearly impossible to her. She could omit
498 details or hide the truth if she thought it would hurt Sakura, but
499 she could never bring herself to lie to the brunette. ‘Sakura-chan,
500 it’s for the best. I have to leave. I have to fade out of your life,’
501 she thought to herself, not daring to speak the words lest they cause
502 even more pain for either of them. Her fingers brushed away still
503 more tears that fell past Sakura’s emerald eyes before pushing away
504 some of Sakura’s hair. The lavender haired woman’s voice was soft and
505 comforting as she gazed deeply into Sakura’s tear stained eyes.
506 “Sakura-chan, please don’t cry. It makes me feel bad to see you so
507 sad. I promise that I’ll always hold you close to my heart. Wherever
508 I am and wherever you are, I’ll always see Sakura-chan when I close
509 my eyes.” Her voice dropped to a low whisper as she continued, her
510 fingers gently stroking through Sakura’s hair. Her heart ached at the
511 sight of Sakura’s tear streaked face. She wanted to take all of that
512 pain in Sakura’s eyes and take it for herself. Seeing Sakura in pain
513 hurt her infinitely worse than her own suffering. “Sakura-chan, I had
514 a wonderful time with you. Thank you so much for these golden
515 memories. I will treasure them always, even when I’m looking down on
516 the earth from above. Because nothing could be more beautiful than
517 the moments I’ve spent with you, Sakura-chan. They will always fill
518 my heart with joy when I look back on them. It’s exactly why I always
519 videotaped you. So I could always watch those captured moments of
520 you, so I could hold those little pieces close to my heart. I could
521 never leave you, Sakura-chan. Not completely. I may go back home and
522 things might get busy in your life. But my heart will always be
523 singing to you. Because I’m wrapped up in the ribbons that trail from
524 Sakura-chan’s heart.” A small smile blossomed on her lips as her
525 hands slowly stroked Sakura’s cheeks.
526 Looking back into Tomoyo’s stormy blue eyes, Sakura could feel the
527 lightening behind them. It was warm, encompassing, and made her whole
528 being tingle. Her fear and panic began to dissipate. She was still
529 worried about Tomoyo’s trip home, but it felt so far away now. So
530 very far away. “I just want to be with you,” Sakura whispered softly,
531 hugging the nearly frail woman in her arms.
532 “That’s all I want, too, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo replied, her fingers
533 trailing past Sakura’s ear. She continued to gaze into Sakura’s eyes
534 lovingly, her free hand going back to rubbing the brunette’s back.
535 “You’ve given me the most wonderful moments in my life. I don’t think
536 I can ever repay you. Sakura-chan, you the most beautiful, genki,
537 sweet, and amazing person that I have ever met. I don’t think I’ll
538 ever know how I was lucky enough to meet you. It’s always been easy
539 for me to see how you could capture hearts with more ease than you
540 can capture Cards.” Her smile grew softly, her dark hair teasing
541 Sakura’s own. “You mean the world to me, Sakura-chan. No matter what
542 happens, just please be happy. Wherever life takes you, I want it to
543 be a spectacular trip for you, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo barely managed to
544 hold up her mask as her mind retread over Sakura’s words, over how
545 scared and worried she had looked. Could she leave Sakura? Could she
546 fade out of her life? She knew she had to, for both of their sakes,
547 but could she really bring herself to? Especially when she could see
548 so clearly into those beautiful emerald jewels? A part of her told
549 her that she had been wrong, that she had been blinded by her belief
550 that she couldn’t make Sakura happy, that Sakura needed her every bit
551 as much as she needed Sakura. That thought frightened her deeply.
552 Because if it was right, then what had she done by helping to get
553 Sakura with Syaoran?
554 “But I want you to be happy, Tomoyo-chan. Why can’t we both be
555 happy?” Sakura asked, genuinely curious. She sounded much calmer now,
556 almost relaxed in their shared embrace. This whole thing was like a
557 riddle. It was stuck in her brain but she couldn’t quite make sense
558 of it. Though the answer was on the tip of her tongue. Tomoyo’s
559 special person was so lucky to have the love in Tomoyo’s bound heart.
560 But why couldn’t he just wake up and notice how much she needed him?
561 How hurt her love was making her? Sakura couldn’t understand how
562 anyone could not return Tomoyo’s love with the same impassioned
563 fervor that the dark haired woman herself was capable of. It bathed
564 Sakura in its gentle glow, sheltering her from the cold and
565 loneliness. Again the urgent howl of feelings inside her almost made
566 her jump. It was as if they were struggling to break free. But still,
567 Sakura couldn’t understand. They grew fiercer in her heart, trying
568 desperately to bubble out of the Cardmistress. Tomoyo was the focus
569 of them, she new that. Strong, heated, deep feelings that ran
570 throughout her were boiling in her heart. They were nearly screaming
571 at her. She felt like she only had one chance. But one chance for
572 what?
573 Tomoyo smiled softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She held onto
574 Sakura warmly, her hand still moving from the small of Sakura’s back
575 up to her shoulder blades. “I’m happy as long as Saku...” Sakura cute
576 her off, her lips meeting Tomoyo’s in a delightful peck that took
577 Tomoyo by complete surprise. She had certainly not been expecting
578 that from the brunette. Her own feelings had become such a mystery to
579 her as of late and Sakura’s increased affection ever since her
580 arrival had made things even more difficult for her to decipher. Her
581 pale cheeks darkened as she felt the lips against her own again, this
582 time kissing longer. The young woman pulled her magical best friend
583 into a closer embrace, returning the kiss herself. It tasted sweeter
584 than anything the banquet or the restaurant had to offer. The silky
585 touch of Sakura’s lips was softer than any fabric she had ever
586 handled. It was magical, a brief moment where she got more than just
587 images or momentos of Sakura. She had a piece of her soul.
588 Thinking back on it, Sakura couldn’t say exactly why she had kissed
589 Tomoyo. Only that she had to. That every ounce of her being had been
590 wholeheartedly for the idea and that she had merely carried through
591 with it. The single kiss she and Tomoyo had shared several nights
592 before had been the most powerful kiss Sakura had ever felt in her
593 life. Not for the way Tomoyo kissed, no. Tomoyo’s kisses were
594 delicate, like sweet butterflies, gentle and slow. But it was the way
595 it grasped onto her heart and soul and burned through her with a
596 strength that made her feel truly alive. More alive than she had ever
597 felt in her life. Right there. With Tomoyo. The kiss lengthened,
598 Tomoyo’s petal soft lips parting her own ever so slightly as it
599 continued. Sakura could do nothing but hold tightly onto the dark
600 haired woman, hoping once more that the morning would never come. Her
601 fingers found themselves at home in Tomoyo’s luxurious lavender hair,
602 brushing through the soft curls. “Tomoyo-chan...” she whispered as
603 she finally gasped for breath. Her body was nearly shuddering but not
604 from lack of air. Tomoyo’s pale cheeks had reached a beautiful
605 crimson hue that she was sure her own were probably matching at the
606 moment. “Hanyaa...”
607 A musical giggle escaped Tomoyo at that. She was still a little
608 surprised by Sakura’s sudden action, but she was glad for it. If only
609 she could save kisses in her scrapbook as easily as she could store
610 photos. But this was something she was sure her memory would never
611 forget, even if it would be nice to have videotaped the event. It got
612 rid of any doubts she may have had about Sakura’s involvement in the
613 previous kiss. This time there had been no prompting. Sakura was the
614 one who had kissed her. She felt delightedly thrilled at that. Sakura
615 had kissed her. What a wonderful way to bring her last night in Hong
616 Kong to a close. With a kiss from Sakura. Time may not be able to
617 stop on a single moment, but those moments were forever carried
618 forward as long as they were held onto by a loving heart. “Thank you
619 again for everything, Sakura-chan. I’ll never forget any of this.
620 You’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could possibly be.”
621 Smiling sweetly, she kissed Sakura’s cheek. A dreamy sigh escaped her
622 lips as she tilted her head to the side. “Sakura-chan is a such a
623 fantastic kisser. So genki.”
624 Sakura felt herself blushing at Tomoyo’s words. But it hardly seemed
625 to matter. She hugged her best friend tightly, feeling fuzzy and
626 peaceful and content again, though her frazzled thoughts still longed
627 for more, to feel those creamy lips again. She shook her head,
628 blushing darker. She had no idea why kissing Tomoyo affected her so
629 deeply, but she loved the way it felt, both during the kiss and in
630 her arms afterwards. If only... Her eyes widened after they finally
631 fell upon her watch. Just how long had they been dancing? “Tomoyo-
632 chan, we need to get home if we’re going to get you packed in time
633 for your flight and if you’re going to get any sleep.”
634 “I can always sleep on the plane, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo said sweetly,
635 stroking Sakura’s cheek with gentle fingers. “I want to spend the
636 last of my time with you.” This was it. Her last few hours with
637 Sakura. She wanted to do anything but sleep at the moment, her heart
638 racing as she enjoyed the close proximity to her friend. All she
639 wanted was to be with Sakura for as long as she could. To be with her
640 Cardmistress until she was finally pulled away. Her eyes sparkled as
641 she watched Sakura, each gentle caress whispering her love to the
642 brunette.
643 Sakura hugged Tomoyo tightly and nodded. Sleep seemed to be the
644 furthest thing from her mind as well. She had finally gotten Tomoyo
645 up to Hong Kong and she wanted to hold onto her forever. “Would you
646 like to dance again?” Sakura asked curiously.
647 “With all my heart, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo whispered in reply, her
648 eyes never leaving Sakura’s. There was only now. And in this now,
649 there was only herself and Sakura. Tomorrow could wait.