Killing Me Softly 

 by Amazoness Duo

 amazonessduo@hotmail.com  

 

 “Who am I?” a small dark haired girl asked herself as she looked at her  image in the mirror. Deep violet eyes met her own from underneath raven bangs,  reflecting the loneliness in her heart. “Who am I?” she asked again, this time  placing a hand on the cold glass. The girl in the mirror looked to be about  thirteen or fourteen. But all mirrors lie. They distort the truth, showing you how  reality seemingly is, not the actual reality itself. Even her Michiru-mama’s  mirror didn’t tell the whole truth. She was in fact a sixteen year old Sailor  Senshi. 	Hotaru sighed as she brushed her long hair back again for the hundredth  time that day. Her enhanced aging didn’t seem to be running as smoothly this  time around as it did when Saturn had increased it. That’s what you get for  toying with faulty 30th century technology rather than ageless incarnations of  Death and Rebirth. Her hair was past her shoulders now, growing much too  quickly for her liking. She considered asking her Setsuna-mama to cut her hair  again that afternoon but decided against it. By the time she woke up again I  would all be back, if not longer. The only good part about this was that she’d  soon be ChibiUsa’s age again. The past few weeks had been rather difficult,  what with her in a much younger body than that of her lover. The young twins  that had come from the future saying they were their daughters had gone back  home along with ChibiUsa’s younger sister, Kousagi. The two mysterious senshi  that had shown up had not been seen again, but Hotaru had the uneasy sense that  she was being watched from time to time. But ChibiUsa had stuck with her  through it all, making it all seem better when by all rights it was pretty awful.  But then, ChibiUsa always had that affect on her.  	‘But am I the same person that fell in love with her all those years ago  when we met in the park?’ Hotaru asked herself. Both hands on the mirror, she  looked at the pale girl being reflected back at her almost as if she expected an  answer. 'We’re all a collection of memories. Thousands upon thousands running  through our minds as we go about our lives, what happened in the past  sometimes taking more precedence than that which is happening now. Good,  bad, happy, sad. Joyous and sorrowful, grieving and enraptured. All playing out  over and over again like a tape caught in a loop. But what happens when you  lose all of your memories? When you lose all that you are? When you no longer  have those memories coursing through your veins alongside your blood, when  you have to start living from new ones that you build up to replace them, are you  really the same person you were? Or did you replace yourself when you  replaced the memories with new ones, you as new as the memories that now fill  you?’ 	Tracing the image of a certain pink haired girl in the mirror nearly  perfectly from memory, the wisp of a girl absentmindedly went back to her thoughts.  ‘I’ve lived three different lives now. But am I the same person each time? I’ve  regained some of my memories from those past lives, but in some instances it’s  like they’re someone else’s. The memories I have from this life, I can just think  back on and relive them. The ones from my other lives... they’re more distant,  almost as if I’m trying to remember something I’ve heard from someone else. So  am I the same girl that fell in love with ChibiUsa-chan? I had some very vague  memories of her when I was growing up this time, but I clung on to them,  cherished them because I only knew that they were important. They made me  happy. This time around, I’ve practically been in love with her my entire life.  It’s strange. There are a few things she’ll mention from when we first met that I  can’t remember. For me, it was a lifetime ago since it was before I was reborn.  For her, there wasn’t much of a change. She tells me that she can see some  differences between the way I am now and the way I was then, but that she sees  underneath it all that I’m still me and that’s what’s important, whether or not I  have my memories of back then.’ A small smile graced soft lips as the dark  haired girl forgot her worries for an all too brief moment.  	‘What’s even more disturbing for me than that is Sailorsaturn. This  woman, the Senshi of Death and Rebirth, very nearly frightens me. I don’t even  know if I’m her or if I’m just a vessel for her. When I henshin into Saturn, it’s  like someone else is talking and acting. I’m there, but it’s as if I’m merely  watching from within my own body. I’m an observer while she handles  everything. Am I just stronger and more in control as Sailorsaturn or is she  altogether a different person than I? I don’t think ChibiUsa-chan understands.  She sees us as one and the same person, but I can’t be so sure sometimes. Am I  her nightmare or is she mine? I don’t know anymore. I don’t like the idea of  being the vessel of such a powerful, dangerous entity. But I don’t like the idea  of being the one who decides when all must begin anew anymore.’ Hotaru sighed  as she let her violet eyes fall closed for a moment. Almost on impulse, she checked  the window and smiled when she saw her pink haired counterpart heading toward the  house, a cute red sweater hugging her body on the cold day. ‘When it all comes down  to it, she’s about all I can be sure of.’   	Leaving her shoes by the door, ChibiUsa smiled up at her friend from  the future. “Thanks for letting me in, Puu. Is Hota-chan home? I brought her  some cookies to make her feel better.” She lifted the small, embroidered napkin  with the cookies inside for the green haired woman to see.  	“That’s very thoughtful of you, Small Lady. She should be upstairs.  She didn’t feel like going anywhere today so she’s been there for most of the  afternoon.” Looking back towards the stairwell, Setsuna wished there were more  she could do about the situation, but as it was all she could do was wait and see.  She wasn’t even very sure of what would happen herself. If only there wasn’t so  much unsupervised time travel things wouldn’t be in such a mess. But that was  exactly why she was going to relax. Too much thinking about the infinite  possibilities and chances of things going freakishly wrong was beginning to give  her a headache. “Good luck with her, Small Lady. You always seem to cheer her  up.” Returning the pink haired girl’s cheerful smile with one of her own, the  Senshi of Time grabbed her coat.  	“So you’re going out with Seiya again?” ChibiUsa asked before she  could get out the door, her voice teasing. “I hope you have fun, Puu.” She  smiled brightly, clearly enjoying herself. 	Slightly flustered, the older woman shook her head. “No. We’re just  going for some coffee. Too much has happened recently and I need to get out for  a while. And out does not mean the Time Gate. So he’s taking me a few places  tonight. It should be relaxing.” Satisfied with her explanation, she picked up her  purse.  	“Oh, all right, Puu. Sounds like fun.” Still smiling, the pink haired girl  took a few steps into the house before turning back around. “Didn’t they stop  pretending to be guys a while back?” 	Setsuna sighed. Yes, she most definitely needed a chance to relax.  “Small Lady...” 	Giggling in response, ChibiUsa took a few steps backward as she  continued to watch her old friend. “You should get going before she wonders  where you are. And don’t worry about Hota-chan. I’ll keep an eye on her.” A  wink preceded another giggle from the pink haired teenager. 	“You better, princess. Your mother likes to know what you’re up to and  I could always let something slip the next time she asks,” Setsuna mock warned  as she opened the door.  	“Awww... but I’m a good girl, Puu. You know that,” ChibiUsa said  with a sweet, innocent smile.  	“Sure you are. Just keep that up and I’m sure your mother will believe  you. Ja ne, Small Lady!” 	“Ja, Puu!!” ChibiUsa waved to Setsuna as the older woman left.  	Spotting ChibiUsa from the top of the stairs, Hotaru smiled happily.  “ChibiUsa-chan!” Making her way down the stairs with speed she didn’t have  the first time she’d been that age, she quickly met the pink haired girl in a tight  embrace. Her earlier worries were washed away as she stood in the other girl’s  arms.  	“Hota-chan, you’ve gotten big,” ChibiUsa remarked as she looked over  the girl in her arms. “I guess I won’t be able to pick you up anymore,” she  teased. With a giggle, she kissed the top of Hotaru’s head. “Looks like I’ll still  be taller than you for a bit longer at least.” 	“You haven’t been able to pick me up for weeks,” Hotaru pointed out,  not making a move to break the warm embrace. ‘When you’re with the one you  love, does anything else matter?’ she asked herself. Standing near the doorway  with her head nestled on ChibiUsa’s chest, she sure didn’t think so.  	“Well, it’s still been cute watching you grow up again, anyway. Even if  it’s been tough sometimes.” ChibiUsa’s statement got a sigh and a nod of  agreement from Hotaru at the memories of the past few weeks. The two stood  there for a while in the silence, but it wasn’t a bad thing at all. If anything,  it was just more soothing as the two star crossed lovers held onto each other.  “Oh, and I brought you cookies.” Raising the bag, ChibiUsa smiled. “I was hoping  you’d have more of an appetite than you normally do sense you’ve been growing up  so fast.”  The smile changed to a grin as she brushed back some of Hotaru’s hair.  “You’re just too cute, Hota-chan.” 	The firefly blushed slightly and fidgeted in her girlfriend’s grasp. It was  embarrassing when she’d say things like that. But she had to admit that she was  glad ChibiUsa thought so, even if she did want to reach her normal age again.  “Hai, I am a little hungry.” A grumbling stomach gave the pale girl’s  understatement away. She blushed a little deeper and sweatdropped. Her body  had been going through a lot in its rapid reaging over the past few weeks. Part of  that had made her much hungrier than she usually was. Never being one to eat  much, ChibiUsa had worried that she wasn’t eating enough countless times over  the years. But lately she had actually been hungry enough to eat what the pink  haired girl offered. Another side affect of her reaging was sometimes painful.  Her body just wasn’t ready to go through so many years so quickly. The strain  took its toll on her, sometimes in the form of migraines and sometimes as deep  pains throughout her weak body. The past few days had been particularly  difficult as her body went through puberty. Again. But ChibiUsa had been with  her through most of it, holding onto her when the strains on her abused body  were too much, when the pains were at their worst. The past few weeks would  have been unbearable without her. “Oh, I should get us some tea,” Hotaru said  as she remembered the most vital part of any cookie eating experience.  	“No, I’ve got it, Hota-chan. I think I know my way around the house  enough by now.” The future princess gave Hotaru a wink, setting the pouch with  the cookies down on the table. Before the dark haired girl could argue the point,  she was already on her way to the kitchen. ‘Poor Taru. This is the third time  she’s had to grow up. It must be horrible having to go through her childhood  again. Especially with the painful things that happened when I first met her.  Well, hopefully she doesn’t remember that childhood very well. And it has been  awfully cute to watch her. But I can’t wait till she’s back to normal again.’  While she was thinking to herself, she absentmindedly started the tea. ‘At least  she’s had Haruka-san, Michiru-san, and Puu here for her when I’m not. I may be  older than her, but I need to be older than that.’ A frustrated sigh escaped her  lips as she sat on the counter. ‘Then I could take her back home with me to the  palace and we could live happily ever after without any interruptions from nosey  parents that think they know what’s best for me.’ 	‘She looks so sad. She’s so good at hiding how she feels that  sometimes she almost even tricks me. Why does she do that? Why does she  pretend? I was never any good at it. People always saw right through me. No,  people always saw what they wanted to see. She was the only one who could  really see me.’ Hotaru took a few tentative steps into the kitchen, but ChibiUsa  didn’t really seem to notice. The older girl was startled out of her thoughts when  Hotaru’s arms went around her waist, her head resting on ChibiUsa’s lap. “They  were really good, ChibiUsa-chan. Arigato gozimasu.” Violet eyes closed when  she felt ChibiUsa’s hands gently rubbing her back.  	“Good. I’m really glad that you like them. I probably should have been  finishing my homework, but it was more fun. I kept thinking about you  whenever I tried anyway, so it wasn’t worth not making them.” Brushing her  fingers past where Hotaru’s now longer hair ended just below her shoulders,  ChibiUsa smiled to herself. She was starting to feel better. It had been a bad idea  leaving the other girl, even if it was only to make some tea. They needed each  other right now.  	“Then I’ll have to finish aging soon so I can help you catch up on all  the homework you’ve missed while helping me,” Hotaru stated decidedly, her head  still resting on her lover’s lap.  	A sweatdrop formed on ChibiUsa’s head as she continued lightly  stroking along Hotaru’s shoulders. She hadn’t said anything about it, but she had  been skipping a good deal of her homework lately. She just couldn’t help it.  Between her mother’s betrothing her to the High Priest Elios in the future, her  sister and future daughters' short visits, the anxiety over what the new  Sailormoon and Saturn wanted, and worrying about Hotaru going through  eleven years in a few weeks time, she hadn’t really had the will to do much of it.  Her teachers had been warning her lately that she might fail a few classes if she  didn’t shape up. ChibiUsa wasn’t the best student, but she did try to throw  herself into things, whether she was good at them or not. So being scolded about  that only made everything else seem worse. “I could probably use the help,” she  admitted. “And I wouldn’t waste any time if you were the one offering it.” 	There was a moment’s pause while the dark haired girl shifted on her  lap. “I love you, ChibiUsa-chan.” Big violet eyes met the princess’s crimson  ones. She hugged the older girl tighter, wanting so much to pour out what was in  her soul but not knowing how. All the feelings swirling around inside her that  she couldn’t name, all the pieces of her soul wanting to burst through. But all  she could do was hug her.  	ChibiUsa just watched the pale girl holding onto her for a long  moment. She felt so warm inside, as if the little patches of cold in her heart were  melting away. This girl meant everything to her. Hotaru was so much more than  her best friend. A sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with,  to hold onto, someone who made life worth living. There were things that they  both needed in the other, things that only came out because of the other. “I love  you so much,” she whispered softly, her eyes closing as her lips pressed softly  against her lover’s. In the background, the teapot whistled, but neither girl  noticed.  	Diana’s tail darted back and forth as her paws kept swiping at the St.  Tail keychain Momoko had on her backpack. The little bell around her neck  rang as she did so, alerting the lavender haired girl to her presence. “Diana- chan? Is that you?” Momoko called from the bathroom, fixing her hair into a  single bun on top of her head. She had just gotten back from school a short  while ago to an empty house. She was grateful that Diana didn’t eat much as a  kitten because there wasn’t much left in the refrigerator.  	“Hai, it’s me, Momo-chan. I got restless waiting for Small Lady to get  home and when she finally did, she let me help with some cookies before going  to Hotaru-san’s house. I wanted to come but she wouldn’t let me. She suggested  going to the Quartet’s place but...” The kitten paused for a moment as she  shivered. “PallaPalla scares me. And I wanted to see you anyway. I missed you,  Momo-chan.” Diana smiled up at Momoko from the bathroom door. Blushing  slightly, she looked away when she saw that Momokowas only in her skirt and bra.  	Not noticing Diana’s blush, Momoko knelt down and picked up the  kitten. “I’m glad you came to see me. It’s been pretty lonely here lately.”  Momoko sighed as she stood back up, still holding Diana. She couldn’t quite  place it, but something had felt wrong recently. She only hoped the feeling  would go away. 	Diana smiled happily in Momoko’s grasp, purring as the lavender  haired girl pet her. “I could come by more often if you like, Momo-chan. I  always like being with you.” She titled her head to the side as Momoko’s long  fingers began scratching under her chin. “But I am a little curious. Where have  your parents been? I don’t think I’ve seen them once since I started coming  here.” Momoko stopped immediately, eliciting a frown from Diana who had  been enjoying the attention. ChibiUsa was always off with Hotaru these days, so  she didn’t get pet as often as she used to. And besides, she liked it better  when Momoko did it anyway. “Momo-chan? Are you alright? Did I say something  wrong?” 	Shaking her head, Momoko was silent. There was that strange feeling  again. Everything seemed off. But she couldn’t make any sense of it. What was  going on? Confusion tinged with a bit of fear started to build up inside of her,  but she pushed it away for the time being. “Out. I guess,” she replied after a bit,  not sounding all there. Where were they? They had to be somewhere. When was  the last time she’d seen them? Who were they, for that matter? 	Diana was starting to get concerned. She took a few cautious steps  towards the lavender haired girl, nuzzling her bare leg with her nose. “I’m very  sorry, Momo-chan. I didn’t mean to say anything to hurt you,” the kitten said  softly, her worry escalating at the near frantic look in Momoko’s eyes.  	“No... No, they’re somewhere. Mother and father. And...” Momoko  shook her head almost violently, lavender hair whipping at her face as it fell out  of the neat bun it had been in on the top of her head. Was there anyone else?  Why couldn’t she think? Was she an only child? Why couldn’t she remember  anything? Her heart began beating faster as panic began to set in. A whole part  of her life seemed completely blank. She could remember meeting ChibiUsa,  playing with friends, getting attacked by the Amazoness Quartet, and on and on.  But nothing that fit what she was looking for. ‘I just can’t think right now. It’s  been a long day. I’m stressed out and I’m probably mad at my parents for  something. That’s it. Just calm down. I can handle this.’ Taking a few deep  breaths, the Chinese girl shook her head slowly. “No, it’s fine. I’m not feeling  well, Diana-chan. Could you come back later? I think I’m going to take a nap or  a shower or something. Anything. I just need to not think right now.” 	Now a little hurt and even more worried about Momoko, Diana shifted  into her human form. The silence between them became nearly unbearable as  seconds ticked away. “Are you sure I can’t help, Momo-chan? I’m worried  about you. You looked so scared for a moment. I..”  	“No, I’m fine,” Momoko said sternly. Her tone of voice managed to  startle herself as well as Diana. The cat girl winced as if burned, looking down  sadly. The ache in Momoko’s heart began to grow as she watched for a moment.  “I’m sorry, Diana. I just need to be alone for a while,” she whispered  apologetically, hugging Diana warmly. “You know I love you, but right now I  think it’s best if I don’t come off as completely insane.” Sighing, she felt the  soft fabric of Diana’s dress between her fingertips as she held her closely. “I’m  sorry.” 	Diana gave a soft, understanding smile before kissing the lavender haired  girl for a brief second. “I really hope whatever it is that you’re trying to  figure out will come to you, Momo-chan. You should be happy again. I want to  be with you soon. Please call me as soon as you want me.” 	Sighing confusedly, Momoko shook her head. “I want you with me  now, but I can’t. Soon. I’ll see you soon, Diana-chan. Please just forget about  today. I don’t know what’s come over me. Hopefully it’ll be gone by  tomorrow.” 	“I hope so...” Diana replied softly. Giving Momoko another soft kiss,  she shifted back into a kitten and smiled. “Please feel better soon, Momo-chan.”  With a ring of the bell around her neck, she was off, leaping out the window.  	“I hope so, too...” Momoko slumped down the wall to her knees, her  hands buried in her hair. She whimpered softly as her head began to ache in  protest, unyielding in it’s hold on what she was looking for.   	“How’s this look?” Twirling around, auburn hair falling around her  shoulders, a girl modeled holding the dress in question in front of her for her  boyfriend. “Kyusuke-kun?” 	“Huh?” The green haired boy brought his attention back to the present.  “Looks pretty. You should get it, Hikaru-chan.” He had been answering more or  less the same thing for well over an hour now. It wasn’t that she didn’t look cute  in all of the things she picked out, it’s just that he hated shopping. Being here  after school was mind numbing enough, but spending the whole night there was  starting to worry him. He sighed as he leaned back against a rack of clothes,  rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “You’re almost as bad looking for clothes as a  real girl.” The hurt look in her eyes before she turned around told him he had  said the wrong thing. He immediately realized why Momoko hit him so often.  He had a big mouth. “Oh... I’m sorry, Hikaru-chan. I didn’t mean it like that...” 	Hikaru didn’t turn around, taking a step away when he advanced. How  could he say that? He knew how much this meant to her. What if he really didn’t  care about it at all? She loved him, but sometimes he could be so insensitive.  “I’m going home,” she stated darkly as she grabbed her purse.  	Kyusuke grasped her arm but she pulled away from him. “Hikaru-chan,  wait, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean anything by it. I wasn’t thinking.”  Hikaru didn’t seem to be listening to him as she continued towards the store  entrance. Sighing, the green haired boy followed.   	“See? Look how fragile relationships can be. This should be a piece of  cake,” Shisa remarked, readjusting her glasses. They glinted in the store’s harsh  light. “All we have to do is hit the right place and they’ll fall apart.” 	“This is sooooo pretty, Shisa. It’s kind of retro, don’t you think? I  mean, it is years and years before we’re born so it’s kind of out of date, but I still  think it’s really cute,” Selene said thoughtfully. She held the dress up to her  sister for a moment before nodding in satisfaction.  	Shisa sweatdropped. “Selene...” 	“What? We need clothes from this era if we’re going to fit in, you  know. That is why we came here. Besides, it looked like they just had a fight.  Do you really think it would be that easy to break up ChibiUsa-ma... ChibiUsa  and Hotaru?” Putting the dress in the basket she was holding, she went back to  scanning the racks for anything else suitable. 	“Well, maybe not that easy. But it’s only a matter of looking for the  breaking point and pushing hard enough. If they really love each other, we  won’t be able to break them anyway.” Turning around, she finally caught sight  of her sister making her way towards another style of clothes. “So we just have  to make sure we keep at them.” 	Walking past two girls looking for dresses themselves, she stopped  when she saw a short haired brunette sweatdropping profusely while her friend,  a pale girl with long dark hair, was crooning over which dresses she thought the  brunette should try on. “You would look so cute in this, Sakura-chan!” she said  in awe, a floral background behind her. “You like ribbons,” she explained before  the brunette could argue.  Deciding the dress was cute but not her style, Selene  continued on. 	“If you’re sure, Shisa. I’m starting to think it would just be easier to  brainwash them or something. These Daimons are trickier than I thought. How  many Daimon Eggs do we have left anyway?” Selene asked conversationally,  feeling the fabric of a blouse between her fingers. 	After going over it in her mind, Shisa shook her head. “Enough. I don’t  think we’ll run out before we’re done. And you know how much Hotaru hates to  henshin into Sailorsaturn, so she must think it’s important if she has been when  we’ve attacked.” 	“Of course she does. She’s trying to protect ChibiUsa-m... her  girlfriend. Wouldn’t you? I mean, the Quartet are good, but I wouldn’t put all of  my trust in them to protect ChibiUsa,” Selene pointed out. “We’re getting this,”  she said finally as she put a sweater in with the rest of the clothes.  	Having had no intention of arguing the point when she liked her sister’s  taste in clothes for her anyway, Shisa just nodded. “Yes, I would. But I thought  she only became Saturn when something big happened.” 	“And we’re not big enough?” Selene giggled, wrapping her arms  around the pink haired girl.  	Shisa raised an eyebrow behind her round glasses. “I wouldn’t exactly  classify us as big.” 	“Then you’re going to have to start thinking differently. They’ll never  forget we were here when all is said and done.” The maroon haired girl smiled  exquisitely before kissing Shisa.  	Returning the kiss, Shisa leaned against Selene. “I guess you’re right.  In which case, we should make sure we give them a little reminder that we’re  still here soon.” 	Selene grinned mischievously. “That’s exactly what I had in mind.”  	“You’re so cute,” Hotaru whispered softly as her fingers ran through her lover’s  cotton candy pink hair. ChibiUsa blushed lightly in response, Hotaru’s soft  voice filling her already fuzzy mind. Enjoying the soft feel of the hair  underneath her fingertips, the pale girl lost herself in her companion’s pretty  crimson eyes. She felt warm inside, safe here with her. This was all she wanted.  Her little slice of heaven. If she could just make this moment with her little  rabbit last forever... 	ChibiUsa sighed contentedly, loving the attention she was getting from  the dark haired girl. It was always nice being with her, but when she could be all  alone with her, when they were both the only thing in the others world, it was so  wonderful. Hotaru’s gentle touch felt so soothing, like cool waves lapping over  her soul. Everything else seemed so far away. Time seemed to stand still for the  two of them. The princess could remember Pluto having mentioned something  like that before, but it was in relation to time travel. Elapsed zero. Or something  like that. Whatever the case, the dark haired girl in front of ChibiUsa had  managed to capture every facet of her mind. From her soft fingers to the endless  pools of violet that looked deep into her soul. Her soft breathing and her ivory  skin. The way she sat there in front of her almost shyly out of habit. The way her  dark stockings hung in stark contrast to the pale skin she knew was underneath.  The way her short, raven hair framed such a beautiful face effortlessly. Leaning  ever closer, the future princess lightly brushed her lips against Hotaru’s own  soft, red lips. 	A little taken by surprise by the sudden motion, Hotaru blushed as  ChibiUsa kissed her. She had been lost in thought with the pink haired girl  before her, but that quickly brought her back to the here and now. Petal soft lips  met her own again and again, sending little shocks through her whole body. Her  hands slowly coming out of her lover’s hair without her conscious knowledge,  they found their way to ChibiUsa’s flushed cheeks. The warm skin felt silky to  the touch, just another small addition to the kiss that held possession of all that  she was. Fingers questing for more, she found her hands on ChibiUsa’s shoulders.  The pink haired girl leaned further into the kiss, eliciting a gasp from  her best friend. She took the opportunity in kind, her tongue moving into  Hotaru’s mouth. Hotaru’s fingers clutched ChibiUsa closer to her as she  returned the kiss as best she could. The future princess’s body against her own,  the feel of their lips pressed together, the sweet sound of her muffled voice all  rolled together to hit her like a ball of lightening.  	“I love you, Hota-chan,” ChibiUsa said, out of breath as she finally  broke the kiss. Her arms wrapped around Hotaru’s waist as she smiled brightly  into those all knowing violet eyes. She felt so warm, so safe in those arms. Not  like anywhere else in the world, but peaceful and... She couldn’t describe it. Not  exactly happy or ecstatic but more a mix of the two. Exciting yet calming at the  same time. She just wished that she’d never have to leave the gentle embrace.  	Dark eyelashes fluttered as soft lips parted again. “I love you, too,  ChibiUsa-chan. I’ll always love you. I need you." Hotaru looked back at her most  cherished possession. Much better than any of her lamps, ChibiUsa lit up the darkness  inside her soul. She counted her blessings to have been able to meet the  girl in front of her.  	“Oh, Hota-chan,” ChibiUsa whispered softly, kissing her cheek. “I need  you, too. I wanna be with you forever. And we’ll make that happen. I promise.”  	That alluring smile was almost impossible to resist. ChibiUsa nuzzled  Hotaru’s neck, a lock of her dark hair between ChibiUsa’s fingers. Sitting up so  she was once again eye level with her, ChibiUsa leaned forward. The future princess's kiss left the younger girl breathless. “ChibiUsa-chan...” Her hands went  under the back of ChibiUsa’s blouse, caressing up and down her back.  ChibiUsa let out a soft moan. It was always so easy to lose herself  when she was with Hotaru. To forget that there was anything outside of her  sweet caress. Her right hand slid under Hotaru’s skirt, causing the raven haired  girl to blush darker as she found where the raven haired girl’s stocking ended on  her thigh. Traveling down the cloth along the length of Hotaru’s long leg,  ChibiUsa smiled when she saw Hotaru’s reaction to her touch.  	Her eyes closed and her head tilted back and to the side, Hotaru  relished the feelings running through her. One of her hands moved to  ChibiUsa’s stomach, her other hand still rubbing the princess’s back. She  blushed a bit as she remembered talking to ChibiUsa about that very thing.  ChibiUsa had told her she liked seeing her in stockings. Which was strange  because she herself preferred ChibiUsa’s legs bare. But she often wore  stockings anyway so knowing ChibiUsa liked them was an added bonus.  ChibiUsa gentle touch and sweet kisses were quickly becoming more feverish.  Bringing her hands up, she pulled the blouse up over ChibiUsa’s head, missing  the feel of ChibiUsa against her for a moment. She giggled as the blouse got  caught on her oddly styled pink hair. “Gomen, ChibiUsa-chan.” 	Giggling herself, ChibiUsa wriggled free from the shirt. “Sometimes it  seems like a good idea to have shorter hair. Like yours.” Her fingers brushed  through Hotaru’s shorter, dark hair. She blushed herself as Hotaru kissed her and  began unclasping her bra.  	“I like your hair. It’s cute the way it is. I’ll just have to be more careful  next time. Or you could start wearing more with buttons,” Hotaru suggested.  Lithe fingers trailed across ChibiUsa’s now bare torso, bringing forth a gasp from  the rabbit. “You’re beautiful, ChibiUsa-chan.”  	“Thanks, Hota-chan.” Smiling, ChibiUsa placed her hands atop  Hotaru’s. “So are you. It’s nice to have you near your normal age again.” She  sweatdropped as she thought of all of the aging and reaging Hotaru had done. “Well,  as close to your normal age as you can be, under the circumstances. Whatever  normal means.” That word had soon lost its meaning to the future princess.  Time traveling and falling in love with a girl that not only existed before her  birth but was the human incarnation of death and rebirth did that to you. Her  thoughts soon faded as Hotaru’s hands playfully shifted under ChibiUsa’s,  reaching just below the soft swells of her breasts. “This isn’t very fair, you  know.”  	Hotaru giggled as ChibiUsa raised a pink eyebrow. “Oh? And why is  that, my princess?” She smiled innocently at the pink haired girl as the other girl  fought to maintain a mock serious look. Shortly thereafter, Hotaru found herself  only wearing her stockings, her legs crossed under her. Her arms down by her  sides, she blushed terribly. ChibiUsa slipped off her own skirt and panties before  joining her on the bed. Hotaru was about to comment when ChibiUsa placed a  soft kiss on her lips. Comment forgotten, she lost herself in the arms of her  lover.  	The two girls held each other for a long time, trading kisses and  caresses as they did so. ChibiUsa’s hand returned to Hotaru’s thigh at the end of  Hotaru’s stockings. Moving upwards, her fingers slid across the creamy white skin  of the dark haired girl’s behind. Hotaru’s toes wriggled in the confines of the  dark stockings as ChibiUsa’s touch made her body yearn for more. “Mmmm...  Hota-chan...” ChibiUsa let out a short gasp as Hotaru’s hands found their way to  her breasts again. Hotaru’s hands gently massaged the soft skin, her ever  soothing touch eager to please her pink haired lover. A moan escaped ChibiUsa’s  lips as those fingers began to caress one of her hardening nipples.  	Hotaru was soaking up all of the wonderful sensations the pink haired  girl was causing inside of her. ChibiUsa’s moan sent shivers through her body.  It was all swirling through her now. She felt warm and complete being there  with ChibiUsa. Like the pieces of the puzzle fit together perfectly. And having  her there like -that- was just exhilarating. “I love you, ChibiUsa-chan,” she  whispered as her fingers once again returned to ChibiUsa’s hair. Their naked  bodies slid together as they kissed again. Tongues brushed together in their  dance. Hotaru nearly yelped as she felt ChibiUsa’s fingers trace her entrance.  Her moan was muffled by their kiss. She shifted under her lover as ChibiUsa’s  fingers continued to rub between her legs.  	ChibiUsa kissed down Hotaru’s neck, basking in the warm glow slowly  gaining strength inside of her. Parting Hotaru’s petals as she continued her  kisses, the pink haired girl slid a finger into the Senshi of Death and Rebirth.  Her other hand went down Hotaru’s thigh, caressing the soft skin. She felt  Hotaru shudder under her ministrations as she was kissing the crook of her neck.  Hotaru’s moans increased in frequency while she pulled ChibiUsa closer to her.  The moans were like music to the pink haired princess, spurring her on. She  picked up the pace, sliding faster into Hotaru’s velvety womanhood. Half on top  of the dark haired girl, ChibiUsa kissed back to her lips. Watching Hotaru like  that was stirring her heart. She loved being able to be so intimate with her. The  two of them together, so close.  	Another moan escaped Hotaru’s lips as she writhed under ChibiUsa,  clutching the bed sheets tightly. She knew she wouldn’t last much longer with  the rate things were going. “ChibiUsa...!” The feelings inside were becoming far  too much for her to control. Looking at ChibiUsa through hazy eyes, she  watched as the girl she loved continued pushing into her, her free hand running  up Hotaru’s side. By now thoughts of the future were long gone, only the  present occupying her mind. If this could last forever... Her sweet pink haired  bunny could do such things to her. She moaned ChibiUsa’s name again as she  felt quick kisses on her breasts. Tensing on the bed, she moaned one last time as  she arched her back. She was soaring. For that one moment, everything was  truly bliss. She was with the girl she loved, sheltered from all of the pain and  hatred of the world. Her whole body felt truly alive. It took her a moment to  realize that ChibiUsa was kissing her again. Returning the kiss weakly, her arms  went to either side of her waist. “Mmmm... You’re too good to me, ChibiUsa- chan.” 	A soft giggle and another kiss were the reply as both girls cuddled on  the bed. “Not at all. You deserve more than I can give you. But that won’t stop  me from trying.” ChibiUsa winked at her lover as she held her  close.  	Hotaru seemed to think about it for a moment. “If you say so, but as long as  I’m with you, I’m more than happy.” Placing a kiss on ChibiUsa’s cheek, she  snuggled closer. “I love you, ChibiUsa-chan.” 	ChibiUsa smiled and rested her head on Hotaru’s shoulder. Everything  felt right. This was the way things were meant to be. “I love you, too, Hotaaa...”  The pink haired princes gasped as Hotaru’s fingers brushed past her curly pink  pubic hair. Her cheeks started to redden at such an intimate touch.  	“Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama aren't coming back from Paris until later  tonight and Setsuna-mama won’t be back for another couple hours at the least,”  Hotaru whispered quietly, kissing ChibiUsa’s nose. The slightly younger dark  haired girl rolled on top of her best friend. “We have all of the time in the  world, ChibiUsa.”	  	It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense. What was going on? Was  she going insane? Had she been insane? Tears streamed down Momoko  Momohara’s face as she sat in a heap of papers and pictures on the floor. She  had gone through everything she could think of, dressers and drawers, closets  and rooms alike, in an attempt to find something, anything, to tell her about her  family.  	Nothing. 	There was nothing whatsoever pointing to anyone else living in the  house besides her. The refrigerator was almost bare. Just enough for a single girl  to get by. And she always did the shopping. The only pictures she had were the  ones friends had given her. She picked up one with her and ChibiUsa at the  Infinity amusement park. She’d had such a fun time there. Not a care in the  world. But now it was one of the few pictures she could find in the whole house.  No loving parents or family photos were to be found anywhere. Her parents’  bedroom was sparsely furnished and didn’t look lived in at all. For all intents  and purposes, she was very much alone. 	Her mind reeled at the implications of that fact. She was losing her  mind. If she hadn’t lost it already. The room seemed to be spinning around her.  Tears rolled down red cheeks before plunging to the photos below. What was  wrong with her? She couldn’t remember her parents, but so often she could  remember just knowing that they were there. Memories from times not so long  ago came forward as proof, as if they should prove her parents very  existence in some way.  	“I’d love to go, ChibiUsa-chan, but I have to call my mom. She always  freaks out if I’m not home on time.” The lavender haired girl sighed.  	“Just a second. I think my dad’s home. I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”  Momoko smiled as she picked up her school bag and went inside.  	Sitting on the phone with a friend from school, Momoko laid back on  her bed. “I’ll have to call you back. My mom needs the phone. Bye!!”  	Momoko clutched her shoulders until her fingernails dug painfully into  the flesh. Her choked sobs wracked her body as she curled up on the floor.  Confusion and fear were mixing inside her body like a hurricane, picking up  force as she found no answers and more questions. Her parents had been there.  But why couldn’t she remember them? She had known they were there, but what  happened after that? Her body froze as the memories came flooding back to her.  	Momoko picked up the phone and dialed her home number. The phone  rang and rang with no answer. Momoko smiled. “Hi, mom. Yeah. I know. Can I  go shopping with a few friends?” She sighed as the phone continued to ring, still  believing her mother was talking to her. “I know. I promise I’ll be home in time  for dinner. Thanks, mom!”  	Entering the empty home, the Chinese girl turned to a barren chair.  “Oh, you’re home. I’m just about to go out with some friends. Have a good  night, daddy!” She waved to the empty chair and ran back to her room.  	Hanging up the phone, Momoko turned to the space next to her bed.  “Okay, I’m done, mom. Here’s the phone.” She reached out with the phone and  let go, it dropping to the floor with a thud. The lavender haired girl just smiled.   	Momoko’s hand went to her mouth. Her whole body was shaking and  she felt sick. They weren’t there. They had never been there. She had been all  alone for years. “What... What the hell is wrong with me?” Momoko cried out,  burying her face in her hands. Alone. All alone. The eerie silence that seemed so  natural to her now seemed deafening, closing in on her from all sides. She  needed to get out, but she didn’t know where to go. There was nowhere to go.  Because this would be all that was waiting for her to come back to. An empty  house with no memories and no loved ones. A cold place where she’d been  staying on her own for quite a while. Nothing made sense to the distraught girl  anymore. All of the pieces of the puzzle were scattered on the floor and she  couldn’t find the right ones. How could she have been on her own for this long  and not know? How could she think that her parents were right there when they  weren’t? 	The phone ringing startled the girl sobbing on the floor. The phone  continued it’s cruel, maddening trill as she lay there. With some effort, she  pushed herself up to her knees. The phone continued its onslaught on her. Her  hand reached out longingly. “Mom...? Dad..? Is... is that you? Where... where  are you?” When she finally grasped the still ringing phone, fear shot through her  pained heart. What if it was like before, when she thought she was talking to her  parents but they hadn’t been there at all? Just how far gone was she? What if it  started happening again? With an anguished scream, the tormented girl threw  the phone as hard as she could against the wall, the ringing slowly coming to a  halt. “Leave me alone... Just leave me alone...” The feeling of icy cold fingers  brushing across her shoulder sent cold shivers ran down her spine. Turning  around quickly, she watched the open window as the cold air swept into the  room, the drapes fluttering like spirits.  	When you’re losing your mind, what is real and what is imagined?  What is the difference between them? If it’s simply a matter of perception, then  it is all just as real as the reality everyone else is subject to. Which only served  to frighten Momoko even further, worried that her grasp on reality was slipping.  The thought that she hadn’t had it for a good long time wasn’t at all comforting.  “No, just leave. I don’t want to hear it... Just go away!!” Momoko screamed as  she threw the answering machine against the door. Shadows... Shadows... She  was here for a purpose. A single reason that had led her all the way to Japan  from very far away. That had led her to ChibiUsa back when the pink haired girl  had first arrived. “No... I don’t want to...” Cruel faces, sad faces, dying faces, all  staring at her expectantly, hopefully. She shivered and clutched herself tighter,  ignoring the blood starting to drip under her fingernails. “Diana-chan... Please,  help me..” Whimpering, Momoko fell back to the floor, praying that her plea  would be answered but knowing deep inside that nothing could help her. Fate  was cold and heartless. 	 	ChibiUsa frowned up at the cloudy skies above. It wasn’t exactly park  weather. The weather had been rather nasty for the past month or so. But she  didn’t mind. She was glad to be able to get Hotaru out of the house. The other  girl had been so worried lately about the future senshi and her reaging that she  hadn’t been out much. She was worried about people from school seeing her for  good reason. Healing was somewhat easier to explain than her change in age and  her healing hadn’t gone over well the last time she’d been that age. Still wearing  the red sweater she’d had on earlier, she couldn’t help but shiver at the cold  breeze that brought along a smell of rain. She hated the rain. It was always so  sad.  	Pulling the sleeves of her oversized dark bluish gray jacket up, Hotaru  finally managed to get her pale hand free. Most of her clothes were still for an  older girl so it was still a little too big. Her white skirt fit well other than being a  little too small despite the fact that she had only bought it a week prior. Dark  stockings jutted out underneath, covering her long legs. She sighed as she leaned  closer to ChibiUsa, both of her arms around one of the pink haired girl’s. “This  is really nice, ChibiUsa-chan. Thanks for taking me.” 	“I think so, too. I’m glad you came with. Otherwise I’d have had to  drag you.” ChibiUsa giggled as the two walked along the mostly empty park.  “You need some sunlight every now and then. Mako-chan says that about every  pretty flower, so I have to take her advice.”  	Pale cheeks flushed at that. She had been confused as of late about the  way ChibiUsa acted about their relationship but it seemed that lesbianism hadn’t  been much of a factor other than her mother’s possible disapproval with her  needing an heir, but the fact that she was in a relationship. From what ChibiUsa  had told her, Crystal Tokyo was much better about that sort of thing than the  present day. But ChibiUsa had never been in a real relationship before Hotaru  and that was somewhat embarrassing for her. “I would have gone anywhere you  asked me to. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where we go.” Hotaru leaned  against the older girl, feeling warm inside.  	“You’re so sweet, Hota-chan,” ChibiUsa said with a bright smile. “I  wish I’d dragged you out earlier, though. We should probably start home soon  before it gets too dark.” The long shadows of the two girls preceded them as the  now deserted park stretched out all around them. 	“You’re right.” The dark haired girl shivered from the cold, holding  closer to her future lover. “But then, I did like being home with you, too, so  maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all.” 	ChibiUsa blushed furiously at that, remembering exactly what they had  been doing at Hotaru’s house. “No, that was definitely not a bad thing. But I still  need to get you out again soon.” 	“Get me out tomorrow then. I promise I won’t make a fuss. Just hold  me tonight. Please promise you’ll hold me all night,” Hotaru whispered softly as  she held ChibiUsa’s arm through the cotton of her sweater. Her eyes closed  softly for a moment. “I think being in your arms would make me forget about  everything else. You’re the only thing worth remembering.” Big violet eyes  blinked up at the future princess with unbridled emotion. 	“Oh, of course I will, Hota-chan. I promise. That would make me  happy, too.” ChibiUsa kissed Hotaru’s cheek softly, pulling her closer. “I don’t  want to go home tonight. I just want to stay with you. And to never let go.”  	“Then don’t,” Hotaru’s soft voice answered, meeting ChibiUsa’s  crimson eyes with her own. She could feel the princess’s heartbeat, soothing and  full of life.  “I love you, ChibiUsa. I don’t care what happens. I want to be in  your arms forever.” 	ChibiUsa blushed slightly, fingers running lightly through Hotaru’s  dark hair. “I’d like that very much. I love you, too.” Cupping Hotaru’s chin, she  leaned in and kissed her softly. Hotaru’s arms around her prodded her forward,  the younger girl’s hands lost in the sleeves of the oversized jacket. Her fingers  traced Hotaru’s soft skin along her cheeks to back behind her ear. The rest of the  world, the dark skies and the darkening park, all faded away as the dark haired  girl in her arms demanded her full attention. She felt so happy just being with  her, like everything she was worrying about was pointless. Why did any of it  matter when she had such a wonderful girl to share her life with? The pitfalls  and promises thereof, it was all wonderful as long as she got to share it with  Hotaru. Her free hand slid down past the ivory skinned girl’s shoulder blades,  Hotaru shifting against her as she did so. The kiss lasted for a bit longer until  neither girl could hold their breath anymore. 	“Oh, ChibiUsa-chan...” Hotaru’s pale cheeks were a rosy pink as she  looked up at her pink haired lover. Snuggling against her, her thoughts were a  jumble of images and feelings, none of them making any sense. She just smiled  and snuggled closer. It was a happy kind of confusion, one that she didn’t mind  having in the least. It was how the other girl completely turned her world upside  down.  	ChibiUsa giggled as her fingers played with Hotaru’s dark hair. “You  do want to go home, don’t you, Taru?” 	The pale girl didn’t answer for a moment, just looking up at the future  princess, long pink pigtails framing her lovely face. ‘She’s so beautiful. And so  sweet and cheerful and kind and... She’s perfect. She’s so perfect. I’m so lucky  to have her. I never feel lonely with her. She makes things seem so much better.’  She blushed deeper as she rested her head on ChibiUsa’s chest. “Not really. I  just want to be with you.” 	“Maybe we can wait a little bit before we start heading back, then,”  ChibiUsa said softly, brushing back the bangs from Hotaru’s eyes. She smiled at  the deep violet eyes looking up at her. Kissing the tip of Hotaru’s nose, the  girl from the future worked her way to the soft lips anxiously waiting for her. Her  crimson eyes closed as the two kissed passionately in the moonlight. The cold  wind that made her skirt flutter remained unnoticed as she held out the kiss. 	“Oh, how cute! The princess and her lovely fiancée,” a voice broke  through the silence, startling the two girls. Thousands of possibilities shot  through ChibiUsa’s mind as she searched for the source of the voice. Someone  from the future? An emissary of her mother? Another enemy? 	“But that’s not her fiancée, Shisa. The horse boy is. Oh, how naughty.  She’s cheating on him, ‘Ne-chan,” another voice added. The future Sailormoon  smiled as she brushed back long, dark hair.  	ChibiUsa released a sigh of relief. These two had saved them from a  rogue Daimon the last time they had met. But still, what they had said stung.  Just when she had managed to forget about her mother’s betrothing her to High  Priest Elios, they had to bring it up. She managed a smile, not letting any of the  pain show through. “Where have you two been? We didn’t have a chance to  thank you last time.” 	Watching the two girls warily, Hotaru held onto ChibiUsa tighter,  protectively. They frightened her, though she couldn’t quite figure out why.  Something was just horribly wrong about them being there. The cold night air  and eerie shadows didn’t make the situation feel any better. Fingers running  gently down her back soothed her slightly, but she didn’t take her eyes off the  two new arrivals.  	“Maybe we didn’t want your thanks. It was a shame that you couldn’t  handle the Daimon yourselves. It sure would have made things easier.” The dark  purple haired girl tilted her head to the side, smiling oddly. “But then we  couldn’t have introduced ourselves, so it’s really just as well.” 	“It took us by surprise. We didn’t have a chance to stop it with all of  the kids there,” ChibiUsa argued. Shisa ignored her. Her glasses reflected the streetlights, making her  eyes seem more haunting. “What? No Sailor Quartet? Isn’t that a touch risky? If  you can’t stop a Daimon in the middle of a shop without help, how can you  protect yourselves from someone out in the middle of a deserted park?”  	The wind picked up, whipping past the four girls and rustling through  the trees. By now, ChibiUsa was starting to feel uneasy, but she didn’t let it go  very far. If they meant them any harm, they would have let the Daimon hurt  them weeks ago. She swallowed nervously, her mouth suddenly going dry as she  realized the two were already their Sailor Senshi selves. “Who are you? What do  you want?” She took a step away from Hotaru, looking hopefully from one girl  to the other for answers.  	“Who are we?” Shisa repeated, smiling sweetly as she quickly  diminished the distance between them until she was right in front of the future  princess. ChibiUsa’s slow nod amused her. It meant she was frightened. Before  ChibiUsa could react, her fingers snagged the red material of her sweater,  pulling her close into a deep kiss. The kiss turned painful as she bit down into  ChibiUsa’s soft flesh, the taste of blood filling both of their mouths. It took the  pink haired girl a moment to overcome her confusion and shock to attempt to  struggle free. “You don’t remember me, mama?” Shisa asked with a sad tone in  her voice, pushing her glasses back up. ChibiUsa shook her head, trying to speak  but nothing came out. Shisa’s predatory grin sent more shivers through her.  	“Leave her alone!” Hotaru yelled angrily, forgetting her own fear for  the moment. She could get fiercely jealous when push came to shove. After all,  she had been all alone before ChibiUsa came into her life. And a strange future  daughter of hers was no exception. Seeing ChibiUsa hurt like that... This whole  thing seemed to be getting worse. She changed her mind, she did want to go  home.  	Meanwhile, the pink haired girl in question was still reeling from the  kiss. “Wha... Shisa?! You’re Shisa!? What the hell is going on?” she demanded,  now utterly confused at the situation she found herself in. Nothing seemed to be  making any sense at all. Her hand went to her mouth, coming away with the  deep crimson of her blood.  	“Get her,” Shisa stated simply, motioning to Hotaru. Selene nodded and  stepped forward. Hotaru’s face drained as she saw the girl heading towards her,  any possible reasoning for that seeming anything but good.  	“No!!” ChibiUsa stood in front of the younger girl, her arms out. Blood  was still dripping down her chin, but that was long forgotten in her mind. “What  do you want?” 	Shivering behind the future princess, Hotaru couldn’t believe what was  going on. What did they want from her? Why were they doing this? They were  out here all alone and she didn’t even know if she could henshin, let alone if she  should when those against her claimed to be her daughters. She didn’t know  what she might do as Saturn. What might be deemed necessary.  	“Your death, if you keep interfering.” The pink haired Sailorsaturn  raised her Glaive above her head swiftly. The blunt end came crashing down  into ChibiUsa’s ribcage. “Now stay out of our way.” 	“ChibiUsa!!” Hotaru yelped, grabbing onto the older girl from behind,  wanting to help her. 	ChibiUsa swayed as she tried to maintain her balance through the pain.  “I don’t want to fight you. Just tell me what you want. Why do you want Hota- chan?” 	Stepping up beside her sister, Selene shook her head. “Would you give  her to us if we told you?” ChibiUsa’s silence answered her better than any  exclamation would. “Exactly. Besides, we don’t answer to you. You’re not even  out mother yet. Now be a good princess and hand her over. While you're at it, go  honor your mother’s wishes and get married.” Her tone grew icy, her eyes  locking with those of her pink haired mother. 	“No. It’s my life and I’m going to do what I have to do. I’m going to do  what my heart tells me to,” ChibiUsa replied defiantly. She shook her head  sadly. “I don’t know why you two are doing this. Why can’t you tell me what’s  going on?” Her only answer was another blow from the blunt end of Shisa’s  Silence glaive, catching her in the shoulder. She grimaced as she reeled back.  Hotaru’s arms were still around her waist as the dark haired girl peeked out at  the going ons. 	“Stop it! I’ll go with you, just leave her alone!” Hotaru held tighter  onto the older girl, her violet eyes shut tight. She couldn’t stand to see them  tormenting ChibiUsa any longer. She didn’t care what happened to her as long  as they left her alone. If ChibiUsa’s life would be easier without her... She shook  her head, tears welling up in her eyes. This was no time to think about that. 	“No, don’t, Hotaru. Henshin. We’ll fight back if we have to. But I’m  not going to let them have you.” ChibiUsa watched the duo warily as she tried to  remember where she’d placed her broach. Hotaru’s reply shocked her as the  dark haired girl shook her head against her back. 	“I can’t... I can’t henshin... ChibiUsa-chan, I’m sorry...” There was no  way she could explain it at the moment. Hotaru couldn’t muster the strength.  She was too afraid of what she was as Saturn. She was only supposed to become  Saturn in the most dire of circumstances. Had she been misusing that lately?  	“Need a chance to work up a new plan?” Shisa asked thoughtfully,  taking another step forward. “I’m afraid you won’t have the chance. If you’re  not going to be peaceful about it, then we’ll have to use force to take what we  want.” 	Selene’s eyes darted from her sister to her future parents and back. This  whole thing wasn’t quite going the way she’d planned it. But in the end, she  knew where her loyalties lay. Chanting, she pulled up her wand. With a few  intricate motions, she summoned the powers deep within her. Careful to keep it  from being too strong, it still blew the two girls in front of her several meters  away. 	The first thing that entered Hotaru’s mind as she weakly opened her  eyes was the sudden realization that she wasn’t dead. She hurt far too much to  be dead. When Selene had attacked, she’d been sure that was the end. Rolling on  her side, pain shot through her small body. Hotaru winced in agony. Fear bubbled up  inside her when she noticed that she’d only taken a small portion of the attack.  ChibiUsa had taken the brunt of it. "ChibiUsa...” She managed weakly, her eyes  scanning frantically for any wisp of pink. Finally catching sight of her injured  girlfriend, she crawled over as quickly as she could through the pain. The fear  mixed with a burning panic as she got closer. All of her hopes and dreams lay  within the beautiful future girl. Without her, how could she go on? Her rapid  heartbeat slowed slightly when she saw the slow rise and fall of ChibiUsa’s  chest. “ChibiUsa-chan..” The red of her sweater masked the blood. Cold tears  dripped down Hotaru’s cheeks as she reached out for her.  	A hand snaked out and grabbed Hotaru’s arm before she had the  chance, pulling her roughly to her feet. “Good job, Selene. I would have hit  them harder, of course.” 	The dark haired Sailormoon shrugged calmly. “Yeah, but you’re a  sadist, Shisa.” Smiling over at her companion, they both turned from ChibiUsa’s  prone form. 	Hotaru struggled against the painful grip Shisa held on her arm,  desperate to get back to her lover. “ChibiUsa-chan! Please be okay...” If  anything happened to her, please just let her die right now. Because if ChibiUsa  was gone, she had no reason to go on. Suddenly, Shisa’s grip released, Hotaru  dropping to her knees as she did so. 	Shisa screamed at the sudden distraction as Diana attempted to sink her  claws into one of the causes for her mistress’s pain. “Isis!!” she yelled. 	When Diana hit the floor, she got ready to pounce back up at the girl.  She had been on her way back home, still worried about Momoko’s odd  behavior, when she caught sight of the two attacking Small Lady. Before she got  the chance to pounce again, something furry slammed into her. Another cat, this  one spotted with pink, grappled onto her.  	“I’m sorry,” the kitten whispered softly as she attempted to restrain  Diana.  	Shisa’s glove wiped her face, smearing the warm blood. She winced in  pain, looking at the dark stains on her glove. Selene gently pushed her sister’s  glasses back up into place. “Poor Shi-chan,” she whispered softly. The shorter  haired girl winced again as Selene’s fingers tried to wipe some of the blood  away. “You’re right. Someone’s always trying to hurt us. I don’t want to see you  hurt, Shisa. I’ll fight with you. To the death if I have to. I won’t let anyone take  me from you, no matter the consequences.” Her forehead pressed against her  sister’s, her arms pulling the injured girl closer.  	“Arigato, Selene. That’s why we have to fight. So we can be together.  The outcome doesn’t matter. Because I’ll always be with you.” Shisa smiled  softly as she placed a gentle kiss on Selene’s lips. Her very slightly older twin sister  closed her eyes tightly as they kissed. “Which is why we have to put an end to  this. I promise I’ll never let go, Selene.” 	The dark haired princess was quiet for a long moment, shaking her  head as she rested it against her partner’s shoulder. She tried to speak, but her  throat was starting to ache, the words dying before they could reach her mouth.  Tears started to form unbidden in her eyes. She was still afraid. She was still too  afraid. “I... I can’t, Shisa... Not yet. I’m not ready yet..” 	The conversation between the two future Sailor Senshi went unnoticed  by Hotaru as she fell to her knees in front of the huddled form of her lover. Her  breathing was ragged as she pressed her hands to ChibiUsa’s blood soaked side.  A pained moan came from the pink haired girl as she tried to roll over, barely  conscious. “ChibiUsa-chan... It’s going to be alright, ChibiUsa-chan... Please  tell me it’s going to be alright... I don’t know if I can believe that on my own..  Please, I need you...” Her eyes fell closed as she tried to concentrate all of her  healing energies into the crumpled girl in front of her. She was lost and cold and  alone without her, but she needed to focus all that she was if she was going to be  able to keep the one thing that meant the most to her. The surge of pain from  ChibiUsa cut through her like a knife, an icy breath barely escaping her lungs at  the touch. It burnt her soul when she touched the pain inside. Part of her mind  wanted to end her suffering, to never let ChibiUsa suffer that way ever again.  That thought scared her. What type of cold Soldier was she? But she also knew  that she just couldn’t stand to let ChibiUsa hurt like that. The other part of her  knew that she couldn’t go on without her. Her life would have no meaning. Why  live a lie without her love? No, she couldn’t let her go. Even if it was selfish, she  was too afraid of going on without her, of having to wait for her own death to  see those beautiful crimson eyes again. She concentrated harder, cold tears  rolling one after another down her cheeks. “Please, ChibiUsa-chan... Stay with  me...”  	“Space Sword Blaster!!” 	Hotaru could barely hear the sounds behind her as her surrogate parents  arrived. Everything was growing colder. Her body was beginning to feel numb  as ice started to pour through her veins. “ChibiUsa...” Her hands still drenched  with her lover’s blood, the dark haired girl collapsed onto the incapacitated  future princess.	   	'She doesn't love you. She doesn't love you. She  could never love you. Who could? You're lucky she's  been your best friend for this long. Soon that will  be gone, too, and you'll be lucky if she even  remembers who you are. What you shared. To her,  you'll just be a tiny fragment of the past. But your  entire life is built up around that fragment. Of that  tiny piece of now. When it's all over, what will  become of you? Who will care?' Hotaru shifted in her  fitful sleep, her small body tossing and turning in  the dim light. Ever so slowly, deep violet eyes began  to open. She lay there for a long moment as she often  did when she'd wake up, lacking the willpower to do  anything but stay where she was. What lie outside of  her bed, of her room, was unknown, frightening. The  future was shrouded with uncertainty, the past filled  with its own sorrow. The words from her dream kept  running through her head, but she was out of tears.  	She just felt... empty. As if the life had been taken  right out of her. As if she were dead all over again.  She shuddered at the thought, a cold chill working  it's way through her body. Some of the few memories  about her past life were that she had been more or  less a living corpse. She had been trapped in a dying  body that hadn't been allowed to die. Brushing back  her dark bangs, the pale girl tried to block the  memories from her mind but she couldn't escape them.  Not entirely. She felt like a shell. The feelings of  pain and potential abandonment were still there, but  diluted. No joy, no sorrow, just the long steady  pulse of loss. Like there was nothing she could do to  stop it. You can't fight the future. But that didn't  mean she had to be there for it. Without ChibiUsa...  What was she thinking? She hadn't lost her yet.  ChibiUsa was still there with her. Wasn't she? Hotaru  gasped, the memories of the fight finally surfacing  in her still awakening mind. "ChibiUsa-chan!"  	Slipping out of bed, she barely managed to stay on  her feet as the world seemed to tilt on it's side.  Her body ached tremendously. Somehow focussing past  all of that, she headed out of her bedroom door in  her nightgown. Panic gripped her heart as she headed  down the stairs, looking for anyone who could tell  her that the pink haired girl was alright. Or... 'No!  Don't think like that. You can't. She has to be okay.  She promised that everything would be just fine.  ChibiUsa-chan would never break her promise.' Her  eyes fell upon her three surrogate parents. They  stopped their conversation abruptly when they saw  their weary daughter. 	 	"Hime-chan! You shouldn't be up yet. You still  need to rest," Michiru cautioned as she walked  towards her.  	Hotaru shook her head, dark hair swaying from  side to side. "Where's ChibiUsa-chan? What happened  to her? The last thing I remember was the fight  and..." Blood. Her hands had been covered in blood.  That of her lover. Suddenly she wasn't so empty  anymore. A blade of ice had been wedged into her  heart. Tears began to well up in her dark, endless  eyes as she looked at each of her parents' quiet  faces. No, it wasn't supposed to be that way.  ChibiUsa was supposed to be happy, even if that  eventually meant they would go their separate ways.  If one of them was to die, why couldn't it be her?  She had nothing to live for. The pink haired girl had  every reason to. Why was Fate so cruel? Why couldn't  it show compassion for once? "Where is she?" Her  voice trembled as cold tears fell past her chin.  	"In Crystal Tokyo," Setsuna offered after a  moment's hesitation. "The depth of her injuries  couldn't be healed here. She needed medical attention  from her own time."  	Hotaru lost the feeling in her legs but before she could sink to her  knees, Michiru had caught her. The older woman hugged her gently. The dark  haired girl felt her world crashing down around her. She had been so worried  about where their future may lead, especially with ChibiUsa belonging in a  different time. But she had always been able to put it off. Now... Now she may  have lost ChibiUsa. What if she couldn’t come back? How could she wait that  long to see her again? What if she never saw her again? Burying her face against  her surrogate mother, icy tears started streaming down her cheeks. It couldn’t  end this way.