But Not For Me

 

 A Cardcaptor Sakura Fanfiction

 By  Miss Kanzaki.

 

 

 

 Press “play”.

 

 What do you hear now? Is it a frivolous tune in a soberly elegant piano? 

 

 Yes it is.

 

 You say the room in which the piano was played is spacious, perhaps decorated in grayish tones. 

 

 That’s true too.

 

 Yet, there’s many things you don’t know. Not that I blame you, they’re not obvious to you, that’s all. They, like this melody, choose to act behind a cover.

 

 Like me.

 

 Are you telling me that’s not possible? That you could detect any sign of unsettling, of distress? I’m afraid not this time, my dear. Not this nor the times before.

 

 Especially this time. While I play for you for one last time.

 

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 And here you are before me as I show you what I’ve just learned under Kerensky-sensei’s stern, perfectionist methods. I introduce the piece to you as “Love Walked In”.

 

 A piece title has never ever been so apt for an entrance on your behalf.

 

 These fingers work the keys with gentleness, just like that you display while tiptoeing to the window.

 

 Must be the music.  It goes like a grandiloquent whisper, a discreet scream into the emptiness of the room.

 

 That between you and me.

 

 But there it goes! The notes entangle among themselves to take this old piano, me, you!,  to unsuspected heights. You now abandon that gloom that had that gracious forehead leaned against the rain-stained glass of that window. You smile, and start dancing. You raise your arms as if waltzing with a ghost.

 

 Must be the vaporous embodiment of my emotions. How I envy them at this very moment!, for the undecipherable, nameless joy of your embrace shall always to me remain a mystery. 

 

 An experience never to be lived.

 Ah! My eyes, in their bluest, darkest glance, turn to you nevertheless. They’ll admire the dance, study your movements, your expressions, your laughter, your silences, until they find the need to devour unstoppable. Why you of all have to be here?! I’m bound to keep weaving the spell that has you in this one occasion being all what an artist can wish from a muse, from Love it-  no, from Life itself!

 

 The tone of the song goes in an over-cheery, slightly too emotional flight. Simply jazzy. And the swing of your body, your swirling arms and hands seem to dictate the tempo. Very well, A test to my skill, to what I’d do for pleasing you.

 

 Such a melodramatic perfection! I’m at awe and scared at the same time. This desire of you has not from long ago reigned in my light and in my darkness. I’d do anything to watch how the world dissolves and reinvents itself in your angelic emerald sight.

 

 I still want to leave this instrument and hesitantly sweep you off your feet. Push you against the edge of this spiritual, physical abyss, and have my fingers play in you the keys that’ll move you to the deepest, splendorous, desperate fiber. I’d make you wince in pain under my weight, at my nails’ burying trace. Love, love, LOVE!!! I’d make you cry like no one has ever done, and still have the audacity to bring you back to reality and out of it with a soul-taking kiss!

 

 Yes, only I could have devised such fantasy. And adore it to pieces. Alas, the melody has to end, and with it the trance in which we both were. 

 

 One more note and you’d personally have witnessed me at the height of my powers, and how after confronting the ally, the enemy in you, I would’ve crumbled magnificently, slumped to my knees and implore the bubbly life, the shrouding death from thee.

 

 You’ll never know. Ignorance is such a bliss. 

 

 A heaven that I’ve built and to which I’ve no access to.

 

 Goodbye, love.

 

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 Author’s Notes:

 Both the title and the piano piece referred to in this fanfiction are from the genial mind of George Gershwin. Hear him, and let yourself be taken by the allure of classical and jazz fusion. Cheers!  > ^ _ ^  <