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     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/substituteforlove.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
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     1.4 +
     1.5 +
     1.6 +I traveled round the world 
     1.7 +Looking for a home 
     1.8 +I found myself in crowded rooms 
     1.9 +Feeling so alone... 
    1.10 +
    1.11 +
    1.12 +
    1.13 +    A figure caught her eye as she was turning back to the counter.  For a second she caught her breath, hope springing up
    1.14 +unbidden, but she was to be disappointed once again when the woman turned.  The skin was far too dark...the hair was similar,
    1.15 +but not quite the right shade.  She was not the one. 
    1.16 +    Sakura was about to turn away again when she realized that the woman was also looking at her.  Looking at her with raised
    1.17 +eyebrows and a startled expression that quickly transformed to disappointment as she watched. 
    1.18 +    Then green eyes met green. 
    1.19 +    Something passed between them.  A sense of kinship, a recognition of some kind.  She made as if to rise but the other
    1.20 +woman gestured for her to remain seated and approached her instead. 
    1.21 +    She felt a lump in her throat.  The young woman moved with the unconscious grace of a true lady.  She might have been a
    1.22 +princess, she moved with such fluidity...it was a joy to watch her.  Her hair flowed down her back in soft waves. 
    1.23 +    For the life of her, Sakura couldn't help but be reminded of someone else. 
    1.24 +
    1.25 +
    1.26 +
    1.27 +Substitute for Love
    1.28 +By Janice
    1.29 +sparkle@animefan.org
    1.30 +
    1.31 +
    1.32 +    "Are you...waiting for someone?" asked the woman a little hesitantly. 
    1.33 +    "Well...not exactly," said Sakura.  She smiled a little.  "Would you care to join me?" 
    1.34 +    "Thank you."  Her voice was low and well-modulated, a lovely voice.  She spoke with formal politeness, reinforcing the
    1.35 +image of a princess in Sakura's head.  Still, she thought, I prefer higher voices.  High, sweet, voices...  She cut off the
    1.36 +thought cleanly and sharply, as one who has had much practice might do. 
    1.37 +    The door opened and Sakura looked up quickly, a reaction that had become almost as instictive as breathing. 
    1.38 +    And perhaps almost as necessary. 
    1.39 +    Strangely, the other woman looked up simultaneously, with a movement almost identical to Sakura's.  The two of them
    1.40 +squinted at the figure outlined in the doorway, and then each turned away with a sigh.  Then their eyes met again and they
    1.41 +smiled ruefully at each other. 
    1.42 +    "Have you always worn your hair long?" the woman asked.  The question was sudden, but somehow neither abrupt nor
    1.43 +jarring.  It seemed like the most natural question in the world. 
    1.44 +    Sakura put her hand self-consciously to the hair that fell down her back in a straight auburn curtain.  "No," she said quietly.  I
    1.45 +used to wear it in a short, pixie cut all through school.  But I haven't cut it in a long time.  Someday, I'll cut it short again." 
    1.46 +    "Someday, when you find...her?"  The questioning inflection was slight but unmistakable. 
    1.47 +    Sakura nodded slowly.  "Does...she have long hair?" she asked. 
    1.48 +    After a pause, the other woman nodded in turn.  "She...did...the last time I saw her, anyway.  Long and straight, like yours. 
    1.49 +But hers was lighter than yours." 
    1.50 +    "You move with the same unconscious, gentle, grace that she did," said Sakura.  "You don't really look like her, though her
    1.51 +hair was long and wavy like yours, but you...you *feel* a little like her, somehow." 
    1.52 +    The woman nodded again, as slowly as Sakura had.  "I'll bet you were athletic in school," she said. 
    1.53 +    Sakura smiled a little.  "Does is show?" 
    1.54 +    "Oh, in the way you move, in the way you carry yourself...the little things." 
    1.55 +    "She was always very observant, too.  She used to amaze us all.  Sometimes it seemed like she knew everything," Sakura
    1.56 +said reminiscently.  The door opened again and once again both women looked up in unison.  "I guess I've become the
    1.57 +observant one, now."  A thread of irony edged her tone.  "I certainly wasn't then, and I paid for it."  A sigh escaped her lips. 
    1.58 +"Why is it that we truly don't appreciate the most wonderful things in our lives until they're gone?" 
    1.59 +    The woman's hand covered hers comfortingly, her skin dark against Sakura's comparative paleness.  "I don't know," she
    1.60 +said sorrowfully.  "I don't know." 
    1.61 +
    1.62 +*    *    * 
    1.63 +
    1.64 +    Sakura pulled closer to her in the darkness, running her fingers through the long, soft hair.  "I'm afraid," she whispered. 
    1.65 +    "Of what?" 
    1.66 +    "Of finding her.  What if..."  It was hard to say.  "What if she's found happiness with someone else?  It was so long ago.  I've
    1.67 +changed.  I'm not the same person I was then...and she won't be either."  A tear escaped from her eye and ran sideways down
    1.68 +her face to hide itself in the pillow.  All of her fears were pouring out of her now.  "Why have I spent my life chasing a dream? 
    1.69 +What if...what if she doesn't love me anymore?  What if I only disrupt her life and make her unhappy by finding her?"  Her
    1.70 +voice dropped to a whisper. 
    1.71 +    "What if...what if I never find her at all?" 
    1.72 +    The arms around her tightened, and she felt as though they were the only things holding her together.  Without them, she
    1.73 +thought, she would shatter into a million pieces. 
    1.74 +    The low voice hovered in the darkness.  "I know," it said softly.  "I know." 
    1.75 +
    1.76 +
    1.77 +
    1.78 +
    1.79 +Lyrics at the beginning are from Madonna's "Substitute For Love", from her CD, "Ray of Light".  The characters
    1.80 +belong to the creators of the series "Card Captor Sakura" and "Utena", respectively... and respectfully. 
    1.81 +
    1.82 +
    1.83 +