1.1 --- /dev/null	Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 1970 +0000
     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/noir-afterwards.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
     1.3 @@ -0,0 +1,450 @@
     1.4 +Afterwards
     1.5 +Immo
     1.6 +immo@hamena.org
     1.7 +
     1.8 +Author's comments: Okay, I know the title sucks ass. Don't blame me.
     1.9 +It was either that, or
    1.10 +'Josie and the Pussycats' cuz that was the cd I've been listening to
    1.11 +repetitively. Buy the cd
    1.12 +everybody! Oh, by the way, I love Eliza Dushku. She's the girl that
    1.13 +plays Faith in Buffy the
    1.14 +Vampire Slayer, Missy in Bring It On!, Annabel in Soul Survivors,
    1.15 +Danielle (Dan the Man) in
    1.16 +The New Guy (Watch it for the bathing suit scene!) and a whole list
    1.17 +that I won't bother, cuz
    1.18 +I'm too busy worshipping her. :P Its late. Um, its a Noir fic with
    1.19 +femslashy/yuri/shoujo-ai/
    1.20 +girl-girl love/angsty thing. Cool. I think girlgirl love is cute. So
    1.21 +shut up.
    1.22 +
    1.23 +COMMENTS, COMPLIMENTS, REVIEWS, COMPLAINTS, FLAMES (please, no?),
    1.24 +ARE WELCOME (cept for the
    1.25 +flames). Please. I'm doing an analysis on Oedipus. Leave my psycotic
    1.26 +psychoticness alone (but
    1.27 +all C&Cs and Rs are welcome!) and read the fic.
    1.28 +
    1.29 +~-~-~
    1.30 +
    1.31 +It might've been better if I had died that night. I don't know, but
    1.32 +sometimes I think
    1.33 +it would've been so much better if Mireille had killed me as soon as
    1.34 +I approached her. Then
    1.35 +she wouldn't be going through this.
    1.36 +"I don't regret a thing." Mireille and that beautiful smile.
    1.37 +What a lie that was. When she thought I was asleep, she would cry,
    1.38 +and I would just
    1.39 +lay there and listen to her, because there was nothing I could do.
    1.40 +There was nothing I
    1.41 +wouldn't do for her, but really, there was nothing I could do.
    1.42 +It was stupid of both of us to think that love would conquer all.
    1.43 +Shallow breaths and
    1.44 +passion-filled nights don't erase the blood on our hands. Especially
    1.45 +not mine. I haven't even
    1.46 +made penance for my crimes against her.
    1.47 +She would never admit to regret, not my Mireille. She was strong,
    1.48 +and I was so proud
    1.49 +of her, so drawn to her and her curious ways. Sometimes, I feel like
    1.50 +I have nothing inside me
    1.51 +and she would fill me with herself, her light, her face, her being.
    1.52 +Lately, I've been unresponsive, I've withdrawn into myself, and she
    1.53 +worries. I don't
    1.54 +want her to worry, but its so hard not to think about these things.
    1.55 +Does her family haunt her at night, screaming for revenge?
    1.56 +Why does she continue like this?
    1.57 +And I watch her, sometimes, when she's not looking and try to see
    1.58 +those ghosts that
    1.59 +surround her. I know she has one, or some, because I do too. How
    1.60 +does it feel to have a 
    1.61 +Chloe, eternally poking you with a dessert fork?
    1.62 +Just thinking about her sometimes, in an ethereal form, grinning
    1.63 +delightfully, makes
    1.64 +me smile too. But I dread it everytime I see the phantom glare at me
    1.65 +accusingly.
    1.66 +Love can't win all the time, just as hate can't win all the time
    1.67 +either. Altena, dear
    1.68 +mother, forgive me. For I have sinned.
    1.69 +Love can't erase the trainings of Noir. I was brought up, knowing
    1.70 +nothing else except
    1.71 +Noir. How could I abandon it?
    1.72 +Noir was two...
    1.73 +How could Mireille abandon her family?
    1.74 +The breeze was warm, a perfect summer day, sitting in an outdoor cafe.
    1.75 +Five to twelve. Would she be late?
    1.76 +When arms wrapped around me from behind in a tight hug, I knew that
    1.77 +was a stupid
    1.78 +question. Stupid, stupid. Of course she wouldn't be late.
    1.79 +"Good afternoon,"
    1.80 +It was amazing how, just the touch of her lips brushing against my
    1.81 +ear, the slight
    1.82 +growl in her voice, could set me on fire. She brandished a rose,
    1.83 +brushing it deftly across my
    1.84 +lips, and I found myself blushing when I saw an elderly couple
    1.85 +watching us in amusement.
    1.86 +"Mireille..." I leaned my head back, and she kissed me on the lips
    1.87 +tenderly, before
    1.88 +moving to her seat opposite me. How could anyone be so beautiful?
    1.89 +How could anyone be so damned beautiful, yet so dangerous? My eyes
    1.90 +trained on her
    1.91 +hands.
    1.92 +"Kirika, there's a show at the Paris Opera House." Two tickets
    1.93 +appeared in her hands.
    1.94 +"Lets go watch."
    1.95 +"What are we watching?"
    1.96 +Merielle shrugged, grinning. "Does it matter?"
    1.97 +
    1.98 +And when we sat in those plush red seats, and I leaned back,
    1.99 +watching the opera, it
   1.100 +didn't really matter. The music, the whole of the opera, was
   1.101 +beautiful.
   1.102 +"Have you heard of Le Fantôme de l'opéra?" Her words whispered into
   1.103 +my ear. I 
   1.104 +shivered, as a hand brushed teasingly against my thigh.
   1.105 +"Phantom of the Opera? Isn't that a musical?" I responded in a
   1.106 +breathless tone,
   1.107 +Mireille's hair tickling my forehead, as the blonde nipped at the my
   1.108 +neck.
   1.109 +'Mireille...'
   1.110 +"Mireille," I was ashamed of the lust that was so evident in my
   1.111 +voice. And even when
   1.112 +I tried to squirm away from her, I returned those kisses. "We're in
   1.113 +public..."
   1.114 +"In public, in private, in our own box number five." Mireille
   1.115 +chuckled when I let out
   1.116 +a loud gasp. "Only le fantôme de l'opéra will see us. Now... kiss me."
   1.117 +It didn't really matter which opera we were watching, because as the
   1.118 +orchestra played
   1.119 +on, I was just thankful it muffled the sounds we were making.
   1.120 +Mireille could be quite the 
   1.121 +risk-taker when she felt like it, and as I lay against her chest,
   1.122 +listening to her heart 
   1.123 +slowing back to normal pace, I wonder how much I've changed her.
   1.124 +We ran down the steps, past the other opera-goers, and giggled and
   1.125 +apologized when we
   1.126 +bumped into people, no amount of sour looks or complaints could kill
   1.127 +our mood. We were
   1.128 +together, alive, and well.
   1.129 +Wandering the streets, we kissed, chased each other, watched the
   1.130 +lamplights flicker
   1.131 +on and off for a while, then watched the dark waters below us, on a
   1.132 +bridge.
   1.133 +I had buried whatever normal life I had in those dark waters. Maybe
   1.134 +I should go and
   1.135 +buy myself a new sketchbook... but was that really necessary when I
   1.136 +know that simple drawings
   1.137 +on paper could not give me nearly as much life as Mireille did?
   1.138 +Strange how to people could meet under such strange circumstances,
   1.139 +yes, that was us.
   1.140 +Stranger still how one could love the murderer of your family, how
   1.141 +you could fall in love
   1.142 +with the person who said they would kill you.
   1.143 +Heh.
   1.144 +It was funny.
   1.145 +That feeling. That word. Love.
   1.146 +
   1.147 +*-*-*
   1.148 +
   1.149 +We had finally gotten past that last hurdle.
   1.150 +Didn't know it was so hard for both of us to just show that we cared
   1.151 +for each other.
   1.152 +We could take out a small army by ourselves, and still, those three
   1.153 +little words defeat us. I
   1.154 +don't know what we're so afraid of, but neither of us could utter
   1.155 +it, even a month after our
   1.156 +run-in with Soldats, when everything fell to a close at the Manor.
   1.157 +But was it really the end?
   1.158 +That haunted expression in Kirika's eyes... it was still there.
   1.159 +And Soldats still lurked around the corner. I could feel them. Smell
   1.160 +them, maybe. A
   1.161 +scent of old parchment, and fine red wine that intoxicated and made
   1.162 +me feel sluggish and
   1.163 +dangerously drunk.
   1.164 +"Mireille?"
   1.165 +I moved away from the window. I thought I had... no. It couldn't
   1.166 +have been. I thought
   1.167 +I had glimpsed the shine of the noonday sun off the cold steel of a
   1.168 +gun. But that wasn't
   1.169 +possible.
   1.170 +I kept telling myself that, again and again, over and over.
   1.171 +'It wasn't possible, it wasn't possible, it wasn't possible, it's
   1.172 +very possible, you
   1.173 +two embarassed their whole organization, the two of you managed to
   1.174 +single-handedly cripple
   1.175 +Soldats and off some of their most important and powerful members,
   1.176 +you know the identity of
   1.177 +the roots of Soldats, old men who sat in seats of power...'
   1.178 +"Is something on your mind?"
   1.179 +Our eyes met, and I fought an internal struggle. Should I tell
   1.180 +Kirika about my
   1.181 +worries? Or should I keep it to myself, keep this paranoia buried
   1.182 +deep inside me and not
   1.183 +scratch at a wound that was still fresh and red. Irritable if you
   1.184 +touch it. Infections, and
   1.185 +pus caking around the edges of the cut.
   1.186 +"Nothing."
   1.187 +"Here," Kirika got up from her seat and walked behind me, hands
   1.188 +sliding across my
   1.189 +tense shoulders, thumbs and fingers caressed the bare flesh of my
   1.190 +back, slipping underneath
   1.191 +my shirt to run dry heat across the my back.
   1.192 +"Kirika," I couldn't help it, and arched my back, giving in to the
   1.193 +smaller girl's
   1.194 +ministrations.
   1.195 +"That feels nice..."
   1.196 +Lips trailed across the back of my neck.
   1.197 +"THAT, feels even nicer," I purred. Kirika's mouth turned up into a
   1.198 +small pink smile.
   1.199 +"That's exactly what I want to hear."
   1.200 +
   1.201 +Later on in the early evening, I still had that feeling. We had
   1.202 +decided to eat at a
   1.203 +small diner we both loved, and it was easy to pick out the sore
   1.204 +thumb amongst the regular
   1.205 +patrons.
   1.206 +"That one." I was sure. So sure.
   1.207 +Kirika's eyes darted to the side, unnoticably, and she continued her
   1.208 +meal. "I see."
   1.209 +"That's why I've been acting all jumpy." pause. "Soldats."
   1.210 +Kirika's hand tightened around the fork, she placed the utensil
   1.211 +down, and reached for
   1.212 +the stem of her wineglass, almost downing all the contents in one
   1.213 +gulp.
   1.214 +"No." Her voice was harsh.
   1.215 +"I'm certain--"
   1.216 +"No." Kirika said a bit louder now. "No. No more. Its not, Mireille.
   1.217 +We leave them
   1.218 +alone, they leave us alone. Please."
   1.219 +I looked at the dark-eyed girl, saw a sort of anxiety in her.
   1.220 +"I want to believe, I want to, Mireille. That they've left us alone.
   1.221 +We have nothing
   1.222 +to do with them, they have nothing to do with us." Kirika reached
   1.223 +out to place her hand on
   1.224 +top of mine. "Please. I *need* to."
   1.225 +I could feel that rough spot on her finger, her trigger finger. Over
   1.226 +time, if one
   1.227 +pulls the trigger of a gun too much, one develops a callous on the
   1.228 +spot. Like if a person
   1.229 +writes too much. If one stops doing whatever it is that developed
   1.230 +the callous in the first
   1.231 +place, it will fade. But it takes some time.
   1.232 +So I closed myself off to the newness in the environment, and
   1.233 +ordered a strawberry
   1.234 +shortcake for myself, and Kirika ordered a chocolate cheesecake,
   1.235 +that she only managed to
   1.236 +finish half of.
   1.237 +"Lets go home."
   1.238 +The bill was paid, and we went back to our apartment. The man had
   1.239 +also paid his bill
   1.240 +and was following us. But both Kirika and I ignored it. Or at least,
   1.241 +I tried to. The
   1.242 +comforting weight of my handgun in my purse was... of little
   1.243 +comfort, as he followed us up
   1.244 +the steps to our apartment... and stopped one floor before ours. I
   1.245 +heard the jangle of his
   1.246 +keys as he let himself into his apartment.
   1.247 +I breathed out a sigh of relief. Overreating to the smallest thing,
   1.248 +that's probably
   1.249 +what Kirika was thinking right now as she unlocks the door to our
   1.250 +apartment.
   1.251 +The plant was outlined by the low-hanging moon, almost as if it
   1.252 +perched on the
   1.253 +windowsill. Kirika went to take a shower first, and I went and made
   1.254 +some tea, the ritual had
   1.255 +been set for us. I boiled the water and spooned tea leaves into the
   1.256 +teapot. Then, I went and
   1.257 +set the table for two. Usually, Kirika would be helping me... but
   1.258 +tonight there was tension.
   1.259 +I nursed my cup of tea, enjoying the herbal scent, when Kirika came
   1.260 +out of the bathroom.
   1.261 +Steam raced out between her legs, she was in her bathrobe, hair
   1.262 +hanging wet and loose, towel
   1.263 +draped over her arm.
   1.264 +"Your turn." Kirika sat on the bed, and used the towel to slowly,
   1.265 +meticulously, dry
   1.266 +her hair.
   1.267 +"The tea. It'll get cold."
   1.268 +And there was that glare, I had seen that same glare when I had gone
   1.269 +to 'rescue'
   1.270 +Kirika from the kind mother. That glare that recognized me, but
   1.271 +wished me a slow, painful,
   1.272 +torturous death.
   1.273 +"I'm sorry." She returned to normal, regret written clearly on her
   1.274 +face.
   1.275 +"No, its..." I was going to say it was my fault. But it wasn't. So
   1.276 +it would have been
   1.277 +a lie. It was awkward, just standing there, so I escaped to the
   1.278 +washroom, and hid underneath
   1.279 +the spray of the shower.
   1.280 +When I came back out, Kirika was already in bed, her cup of tea
   1.281 +finished. And my tea
   1.282 +was already cold, so I just went back into the bathroom, wiped off
   1.283 +the foggy mirror, and
   1.284 +blow-dried my hair.
   1.285 +Slipping under the covers, I turned so my back faced Kirika's.
   1.286 +'So. This is a lover's quarrel.' Even though, outwardly I was
   1.287 +relaxed, everything was
   1.288 +a bundle of quivering nerves, and that delightful mixture of hurt
   1.289 +and fear pricked my brain.
   1.290 +A feather-light touch, and Kirika drew me into her arms, breath
   1.291 +ruffling my hair.
   1.292 +"I'm sorry."
   1.293 +"I'm not mad at you."
   1.294 +A soft chuckle that tickled my back.
   1.295 +"Yes you are."
   1.296 +Turning in Kirika's hold, our noses touching, breath smelling of
   1.297 +minty freshness from
   1.298 +the toothpaste, I smiled at her.
   1.299 +"No." Lips touched in a kiss. "I'm not."
   1.300 +
   1.301 +*-*-*
   1.302 +
   1.303 +Merielle woke up. It was a dreary day, one of those rainy days that
   1.304 +left everybody
   1.305 +restless. Kirika was one of those people. The sheets bunched up
   1.306 +around her legs, and the
   1.307 +blonde kicked them off irritably. 
   1.308 +"Kirika?" She called out, knowing full well that she wasn't going to
   1.309 +get a reply. The
   1.310 +girl had probably run down to one of her favorite breakfast places.
   1.311 +And sure enough, when
   1.312 +Mireille went to find her, she was sitting at their table, breakfast
   1.313 +already ordered.
   1.314 +"I ordered for two."
   1.315 +Mireille nodded, and thanked the waitress when she came back with
   1.316 +their breakfast and
   1.317 +the newspaper. Since they didn't accept contracts anymore and had
   1.318 +'retired' from the assasin
   1.319 +business, Mireille had found the time to read the newspaper. Most of
   1.320 +the time, she scoured
   1.321 +the headlines, wondering, searching for something which never
   1.322 +appeared.
   1.323 +"Your omelette is getting cold."
   1.324 +Mirielle put down the paper.
   1.325 +"I was wondering..." Kirika started. Mireille paused, and the russet-
   1.326 +haired girl
   1.327 +continued. "I was wondering if, maybe, you think visiting Canada...
   1.328 +wouldn't it be nice? I
   1.329 +mean, there's the Niagara Falls. I heard there's always snow there,
   1.330 +so maybe catch some
   1.331 +skiing?"
   1.332 +Mireille nodded, putting fork and knife down. "A vacation?"
   1.333 +"Yes."
   1.334 +The blonde smiled, a sparkle of interest in her eyes. "You know not
   1.335 +all parts of
   1.336 +Canada have snow this time of year, right?"
   1.337 +Kirika blushed. "Of course. You're teasing me."
   1.338 +"I wouldn't dare!" Mireille laughed, and cut out a small corner of
   1.339 +her omelette. She
   1.340 +never used to eat breakfast.
   1.341 +"We'll have so much fun!" That child-like glee, that Mireille
   1.342 +mirrored. Both had been
   1.343 +deprived of most of their childhood, and now they relived it with
   1.344 +each other. Plans were laid
   1.345 +down, each detail was examined, equipment, money, everything was
   1.346 +accounted for on sheets of
   1.347 +napkin that the owner of the establishment gladly provided his
   1.348 +customers with. It was like a
   1.349 +grand adventure for them.
   1.350 +Travelling to a place that didn't involve shooting at, being shot
   1.351 +at, or other such
   1.352 +things that lead to an unnaturally short life.
   1.353 +"Be right back. Washroom."
   1.354 +She walked through the door, and immediately froze.
   1.355 +"You couldn't escape us, you know that."
   1.356 +Kirika's mouth opened and closed, no words coming out, the coldness
   1.357 +of the blade,
   1.358 +pressed against her throat made her eyes water.
   1.359 +"I killed you."
   1.360 +"Well, obviously, you didn't do a good job, did you." The figure
   1.361 +murmurred
   1.362 +humorously. "You weren't as sloppy when you killed that man in the
   1.363 +floor below yours."
   1.364 +"How did you know...?"
   1.365 +"Merielle was right. I was watching her. But that man was innocent,
   1.366 +you know."
   1.367 +Her mouth went dry.
   1.368 +"No. You're dead."
   1.369 +"You're repeating yourself."
   1.370 +"No, no. I KILLED you." Kirika insisted. "You're DEAD."
   1.371 +"But I'm alive."
   1.372 +"I could kill you again."
   1.373 +"I'll come back." Was the malicious reply. "And I won't be as nice."
   1.374 +Kirika quavered at the tone of voice, reduced to a child again.
   1.375 +"But... I did kill
   1.376 +you."
   1.377 +"Fine." The person sighed, and lowered the blade. "This is a
   1.378 +horrible nightmare that
   1.379 +you'll never ever wake up from, Kirika. It could be a dream. Here."
   1.380 +The person handed her a gun, cold to the touch. Her gun. She knew
   1.381 +her gun. Eyes rose
   1.382 +to search the person's face, and they smiled reassuringly. "It's a
   1.383 +nightmare. It doesn't make
   1.384 +any sense. And you know, only when you've finished what you started
   1.385 +in this horrible dream,
   1.386 +when you were just a little girl, will this end. Am I not right?"
   1.387 +"...It was beginning to be a very good dream."
   1.388 +"It was." The person nodded sagely. "For you it was. But you know
   1.389 +what they say, 'All
   1.390 +good things must come to an end'."
   1.391 +"Yes. Altena." Arms wrapped around her and a kiss brushed her
   1.392 +forehead.
   1.393 +"You have things to do, Kirika."
   1.394 +It was a horrible nightmare. She couldn't control her limbs,
   1.395 +couldn't stop herself as
   1.396 +she checked the gun mechanically, then stalked out the door. The
   1.397 +owner was nowhere in sight,
   1.398 +and the light that filtered through the rain-splattered glass made
   1.399 +everything have a horrible
   1.400 +sickening feel to it. It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare.
   1.401 +She walked up behind Mireille, and the blonde didn't turn around,
   1.402 +still bent over
   1.403 +those plans to Canada, talking aloud.
   1.404 +"Plane tickets, we could go get them tomorrow... actually, we could
   1.405 +leave right away!
   1.406 +There's nothing holding us back here anymore!" Mireille still didn't
   1.407 +turn around, as she
   1.408 +laughed. "Of course, we'll have to worry about the non-existant
   1.409 +snow..."
   1.410 +If this was all just a horrible nightmare... then if she woke up,
   1.411 +Mireille wouldn't
   1.412 +be real, right? So. It had to end like this. Everything would end.
   1.413 +Or would a new nightmare
   1.414 +just begin? She really did like this dream.
   1.415 +"Mireille?" Kirika relished how her tongue wrapped around the
   1.416 +syllables of the
   1.417 +blonde's name.
   1.418 +"Yes?" And Kirika loved how Mireille answered her.
   1.419 +She still didn't look back. She really should. Or maybe she
   1.420 +shouldn't. Kirika didn't
   1.421 +have control... not the control she wanted. She could feel HER
   1.422 +watching...
   1.423 +"Hey... you know I... you know." That caught Kirika off-guard. "I
   1.424 +can't say it. But
   1.425 +maybe I'll say it some day, Kirika. I don't know. It seems like
   1.426 +everytime I say those three
   1.427 +little words to anyone, they end up dead."
   1.428 +Laughter. Mireille's laughter, and Kirika's, who sounded near
   1.429 +hysterical. She cocked
   1.430 +her gun, and she could see Mireille's shoulders freeze at the sound,
   1.431 +gasp at the feel of the
   1.432 +barrel against the back of her head.
   1.433 +"Seems like you and I are the same." Kirika didn't know why, but
   1.434 +tears were running
   1.435 +down her face. "We just can't seem to keep the people we love."
   1.436 +
   1.437 +~-~-~
   1.438 +
   1.439 +OOC: SO late at night, gonna do Oedipus homework and that sucks
   1.440 +crap. My class is so funny.
   1.441 +We have one of those class-clown kids as Oedipus, and a Guyanese
   1.442 +girl who always kisses her
   1.443 +teeth at and give attitude to people playing Tiresias, the blind
   1.444 +soothsayer. So funny.
   1.445 +guy:...You have no power or truth. You are blind, your ears and mind
   1.446 +as well as your eyes.
   1.447 +(The guy adds a 'haha!' at the end)
   1.448 +girl: You are a pitiful figure. These reproaches you fling at me,
   1.449 +all these people will fling
   1.450 +them at you--and before very long. (Add a lot of kissing teeth,
   1.451 +attitude at the 'flinging'
   1.452 +parts, and eye-rolling. So it'll look like this:)
   1.453 +girl: You (