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     1.2 +++ b/old/stories/lovelies.txt	Fri Feb 19 20:53:12 2010 -0500
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     1.4 +
     1.5 +Hi everyone! ^-^ I wrote this in less than an hour over my frustration at all of the 
     1.6 +‘S+S’ and Tomoyo/Eriol fics out there. Poor Tomoyo-chan. ;_; She can’t be 
     1.7 +with who she loves so she’s paired off with Eriol just because they’re both 
     1.8 +eccentric. *sighs* Anyway, I’m way too overly emotional about the whole 
     1.9 +Sakura & Tomoyo thing, and I was in kind of a weird mood anyway, so that’s 
    1.10 +where this story comes from. ^-^ I hope you like it!
    1.11 +
    1.12 +
    1.13 +Love Lies Bleeding
    1.14 +By the Amazoness Duo 
    1.15 +
    1.16 +
    1.17 +	As I lie bleeding to death on the cold ground, my last thoughts 
    1.18 +automatically travel back to Sakura. Her beautiful face, her sparkling emerald 
    1.19 +green eyes, her friendly smile. I could always tell how she was feeling, even if 
    1.20 +she didn’t know herself sometimes. I could see it in her eyes. Those eyes told 
    1.21 +me everything. They filled me with strength, bolstered my love for her. But they 
    1.22 +hurt me in ways she’ll never know. I love her so much, yet… His incessant 
    1.23 +agonizing breaths are breaking my concentration. “Li-kun, if you’re going to 
    1.24 +die, then could you please be a little quieter? I’m having a hard time 
    1.25 +remembering what I got Sakura-chan for her twelfth birthday and her exact 
    1.26 +reaction.”
    1.27 +
    1.28 +	He seems to consider my request before moaning louder. How 
    1.29 +inconsiderate. I asked nicely. And wouldn’t he want to think about her in his last 
    1.30 +moments as well? “This is all your fault...” he says after a moment, glaring 
    1.31 +pointedly at me. At least, I assume he is. I can’t really see him very well from 
    1.32 +where I am and my vision’s starting to go dark. I can almost see her in the 
    1.33 +darkness, as if she’s waiting for me. Oh, Sakura-chan... You’re always so sweet. 
    1.34 +I’m so lucky to have... I cut off again as he reiterates how much this is my fault. 
    1.35 +
    1.36 +	“I hope Sakura-chan wouldn’t see it that way,” I say simply. Why does 
    1.37 +it matter what he thinks so long as she knows? “I hope she knows my video 
    1.38 +collection is willed to her.” All of my worldly possessions are willed to her, so 
    1.39 +she’d be getting everything anyway. I’m just trying to keep his mind off of 
    1.40 +things long enough so we can both die in peace. 
    1.41 +
    1.42 +	Unfortunately, that seems to be the wrong thing to say. “That’s what 
    1.43 +started all of this. I never would have noticed the way you look at her if it 
    1.44 +weren’t for all of those videos you take. Can’t you let her be happy on her 
    1.45 +own?”
    1.46 +
    1.47 +	I blink back my surprise, or try to, anyway. “What? How I look at her? 
    1.48 +I look at her with love because that’s what courses through my heart when I see 
    1.49 +her. And of course I want Sakura to be happy. I just know how to make her 
    1.50 +happy better than she does. So sometimes she needs a little extra push in the 
    1.51 +right direction.” I smile fondly at so many memories before realizing that 
    1.52 +smiling hurts far more than it’s worth. 
    1.53 +
    1.54 +	I can hear him trying to drag himself up. If he’s in half as much pain as 
    1.55 +I am, he can’t do it. Nope. It sounds like he clattered back to the ground again. 
    1.56 +“If you think you know so well, why the hell didn’t you get with her?” he 
    1.57 +growls. Though I tried so hard to get him with Sakura, I really wish he didn’t 
    1.58 +have such a temper. You’d think he’d be happy after sacrificing my happiness 
    1.59 +for her. 
    1.60 +
    1.61 +	“You’re starting to make me wish I did. Then you and Sakura-chan 
    1.62 +could still be friends and I could be at home videotaping her right now.” I don’t 
    1.63 +mention _what_ I’d be videotaping exactly. Probably her eating dinner. Or 
    1.64 +maybe out back practicing her magic. Or maybe just her sleeping cutely. That 
    1.65 +would be so sweet. Some of my favorite footage is while she's... Apparently I’m 
    1.66 +not allowed to get sidetracked in my thoughts of her because he picked up where 
    1.67 +he left off again.
    1.68 +
    1.69 +	“I didn’t say you couldn’t be friends. I said I never wanted you to see 
    1.70 +her again,” Li-kun corrects me. Which is more or less what started this. You see, 
    1.71 +one of the things that made Li-kun so good at protecting Sakura also made him 
    1.72 +dangerous to all those around her. He never did learn how to work out his 
    1.73 +jealousy problems. He tried to burn Sakura’s big brother alive once. Over 
    1.74 +Tsukishiro-san if I remember right. I should have known that that would 
    1.75 +eventually turn towards me. I’m closer to Sakura than anyone else he knows, 
    1.76 +and in some ways I’m closer to her than he is. That doesn’t stop me from 
    1.77 +wishing I could be in his place, though. That I could be the one she loves. 
    1.78 +
    1.79 +	But back to the point, we’re here because Li-kun finally noticed that 
    1.80 +I’m insanely, horribly, and absolutely in love with Sakura-chan. That my heart 
    1.81 +never wavers and my eyes never wander despite the fact that she’s not even 
    1.82 +mine. That didn’t go over very well with him, though, and he confronted me 
    1.83 +about my feelings for her on the way home while Sakura was out shopping with 
    1.84 +Chiharu. He had been too busy arguing and shaking me while I was calmly 
    1.85 +trying to explain that Sakura is the light of the entire universe before we got 
    1.86 +struck by a passing motorist. The man must have been in quite a hurry because 
    1.87 +he didn’t bother to stop and check if we were alright. 
    1.88 +
    1.89 +	“But Li-kun, that’s practically the same thing. And I can’t very well 
    1.90 +videotape your wedding and first through fifth children if I can’t be around her.” 
    1.91 +Silly boy. So I can’t be away from her. And Sakura will have five children. I’ve 
    1.92 +already come up with all of their names. Now how will she know what to name 
    1.93 +them or what to wear to her eventual wedding? Or even who to marry? I can’t 
    1.94 +leave her yet. She still needs me. Not that I have any reason to live without her, 
    1.95 +but I can’t make her sad. I won’t let myself. But it seems like I don’t have much 
    1.96 +of a choice. The pain inside seems to intensify and the darkness covers more of 
    1.97 +my vision. I don’t feel angry so much as... a great sense of loss. How can I be 
    1.98 +taken from her like this? Is this some divine retribution for trying to kill myself a 
    1.99 +few weeks ago? Mother stopped me and she has me in therapy now, so there’s 
   1.100 +no reason to have me die in the street like this. I won’t try again unless Sakura-
   1.101 +chan doesn’t need me anymore. It makes enough sense to me. 
   1.102 +
   1.103 +	“Besides, aren’t you in love with Eriol?” he asks after a slight pause in 
   1.104 +our lovely conversation. Hadn’t Sakura asked me that before? I think everyone 
   1.105 +was trying to mentally pair me off with them sense I had no true love interest 
   1.106 +that they could see. And because I stalked Sakura. It’s much easier for them if 
   1.107 +they think I’m in love with someone else. 
   1.108 +	
   1.109 +“Eccentricity does not mark the trappings of love.”
   1.110 +	
   1.111 +“What?”
   1.112 +	
   1.113 +“No, I’m not. And I don’t see how anyone could think I did. He and I 
   1.114 +barely even talked when he was here. Sakura-chan is far more captivating than 
   1.115 +anyone else I’ve ever met,” I explain. How could I ever not love her? She has 
   1.116 +been the single most important aspect of my life from the day I met her till the 
   1.117 +day I die. Which will most likely be today. So in that case, for all eternity. I’ll 
   1.118 +always love her, even if I can’t be there for her.
   1.119 +	
   1.120 +“Yeah, but you’re both...”
   1.121 +	
   1.122 +“Messed up?” I supply.
   1.123 +	
   1.124 +“Yeah.”
   1.125 +
   1.126 +	We sit in awkward silence for a long moment, pain gripping my 
   1.127 +shattered body. Silken dark gray hair lies pooled on the floor, a stark reminder of 
   1.128 +the blood under me. I think my legs are broken and definitely some ribs. I’m 
   1.129 +having a hard time breathing. Little droplets of red mixes in with the darkness 
   1.130 +randomly as blood drips into my eyes. But none of this compares to the pain in 
   1.131 +my heart at the thought of being torn away from her so violently. Not so much 
   1.132 +for my own sake because I have nothing left to live for, but for hers. I know that 
   1.133 +this will hurt Sakura dearly. She needs someone to help her through this, but Li-
   1.134 +kun and I will both be gone. Poor Sakura-chan will be all alone. I can’t bear the 
   1.135 +thought of her pretty face streaked with tears. 
   1.136 +
   1.137 +	“Why didn’t you just tell her? You could have snagged her from me 
   1.138 +during those years I was gone.” His voice sounds defeated, pained. 
   1.139 +
   1.140 +	“Because I wanted her to be happy. When I was little, I used to think I 
   1.141 +could do that. But after you showed up and then Eriol started testing her, I 
   1.142 +wasn’t so sure anymore. I couldn’t protect her. I couldn’t give her a child. She 
   1.143 +might not even be able to love me.” My voice breaks at the last of it. That fear 
   1.144 +has ridden along in my heart nearly as long as I’ve known her. It’s safer to love 
   1.145 +her from afar, to watch from somewhere else. “You seemed to make her happy 
   1.146 +and you obviously loved her almost as much as I did.” Which is a lie. He’d 
   1.147 +shown the same affection to Yukito. He seemed just fine transferring his 
   1.148 +feelings to Sakura. But I was starting to get desperate to play matchmaker for 
   1.149 +her lest someone else get in the way. “I thought you were the best possible 
   1.150 +candidate for Sakura’s love and I wanted to do all I could to make her happy.” 
   1.151 +That is the truth. That’s what I’ve wanted ever since she first smiled at me in 
   1.152 +class all those years ago. I knew then as I know now that I would do anything, 
   1.153 +_anything_ to make her happy. 
   1.154 +
   1.155 +	Another odd silence answers me as he lies there. “I would have. 
   1.156 +Sometimes things were tough and she always ran to you with her problems.” He 
   1.157 +sounds a bit resentful of that. Is that what this is really all about? He was 
   1.158 +worried that I was more important to Sakura? I almost laugh, hurting myself 
   1.159 +more in the process. The taste of blood is almost sickening now. I could only 
   1.160 +wish I was as important to her as he was. “But I would have made her happy.”
   1.161 +
   1.162 +	“I believe you, Li-kun. There’s no doubt in my mind. That’s why I 
   1.163 +wanted you to be with her. She deserves to be happy.” Nothing but the sound of 
   1.164 +birds greets our ears for the longest time as we both wait to die. Does it usually 
   1.165 +take this long? My only condolences are that I’ll be able to speak with whatever 
   1.166 +wondrous being created the beauty that is Sakura and that hopefully they will let 
   1.167 +me watch her as I never have been able to before. Touya did used to speak of 
   1.168 +seeing his mother. Maybe I could come back and watch over Sakura, even if she 
   1.169 +couldn’t see me. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about hurting her. “Li-kun, I 
   1.170 +promise if I make it out of this alive that I will make Sakura-chan happy.” 
   1.171 +
   1.172 +	He doesn’t seem to know how to reply, but I can only guess that he’s 
   1.173 +happy with my proclamation. I am, of course, wrong. “What? What makes you 
   1.174 +think you’re going to live? If either of us lives, it’s going to be me. Why would a 
   1.175 +fragile little rich girl survive that?”
   1.176 +
   1.177 +	“Well, I’m only stating it as a ‘just in case’. So you’ll know she’ll be in 
   1.178 +good hands in case I survive and you don’t. Besides, I already know that’s what 
   1.179 +you’d do in the event that I die.” My resolve is much stronger than it’s ever 
   1.180 +been. I’ll take care of her as best I can. I’ll love her like no one else ever could. I 
   1.181 +will make her happy. I wish I had this type of strength back when my life 
   1.182 +expectancy was higher. It might have come in more useful. 
   1.183 +
   1.184 +	“Yeah, but that’s because she’s my girlfriend.” I wait for him to 
   1.185 +continue, but apparently that was explanation enough. I shrug it off. 
   1.186 +
   1.187 +	It sure is dark. I feel like I’m falling asleep. “I wonder what Sakura-
   1.188 +chan’s doing right now.”