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     1.4 +Hi!
     1.5 +Words written like _this_ are in Italics.
     1.6 +This is kind of an epilogue to the trilogy Hotaru's Pain. It makes 
     1.7 +more sense if you read that one first, but what do I care about 
     1.8 +what you do. I kinda like this story.
     1.9 +
    1.10 +
    1.11 +	Letters from Desolation Row
    1.12 +	 By the Ghost of 'lectricity
    1.13 +
    1.14 +
    1.15 + Prologue
    1.16 + Tangled up in Blue
    1.17 +
    1.18 +So now I'm goin' back again
    1.19 +Got to get to her somehow
    1.20 +We always did feel the same
    1.21 +We just saw it from a different point of view
    1.22 +
    1.23 +Bob Dylan
    1.24 +
    1.25 +
    1.26 + Part 1
    1.27 + Desolation Row
    1.28 +
    1.29 +  A young woman was sitting under a massive tree atop a hill. It 
    1.30 +was a strong and a very old tree; it must have stood there for 
    1.31 +ages. The leaves of the mighty tree were filtering the warm 
    1.32 +sunlight as it shone down in golden blots upon the woman. A warm 
    1.33 +summer breeze was blowing up the hill, tangling the woman's black 
    1.34 +hair with little tongues of air licking past her face. Tufts of her 
    1.35 +hair were swirled about and danced around her neck while the wind 
    1.36 +relieved a bit of the heat of the summer afternoon.
    1.37 + In the valley below the hill, spread before the woman, lay the 
    1.38 +city of Crystal Tokyo, home of Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion 
    1.39 +- and their daughter.
    1.40 + The woman looked about twenty, twenty-five at best. As young as 
    1.41 +her body seemed, her eyes told a whole different story. Her dark 
    1.42 +jewels lost the glow of youth a long time ago. Her eyes were that 
    1.43 +of an old woman, a woman who has seen generations go by, who has 
    1.44 +seen lives of people that grew close to her wither away like the 
    1.45 +leaves of this mighty tree do every year. A woman who has witnessed 
    1.46 +horrors other people never dare to think of, let alone imagine 
    1.47 +them.
    1.48 + The only one who could still smile genuinely after all those years 
    1.49 +was the queen. And how couldn't she... She had someone to love her, 
    1.50 +someone as immortal as they all were. And she had a beautiful 
    1.51 +daughter.
    1.52 + Oh, had she have never met her, how different her life would be. 
    1.53 +She would have died long ago, the torture of immortality would have 
    1.54 +been spared to her. Her loneliness would have lasted only a 
    1.55 +lifetime, her object of desire would have stayed hidden from her 
    1.56 +eyes. But now she must face eternity alone, with her princess just 
    1.57 +within reach, yet so unattainable. 
    1.58 + People regarded them as angels, avatars, or something similar yet 
    1.59 +she was already broken, long before the sky will ever open for her. 
    1.60 +Forsaken she was sinking beneath the flood of tears that dried out 
    1.61 +centuries ago.
    1.62 + How she wished she could be as strong as this tree was. But she 
    1.63 +wasn't. She was weak. Who would want someone as weak as her? Why 
    1.64 +does a princess want someone as weak as her? 
    1.65 +
    1.66 +
    1.67 + Part 2
    1.68 + Blood in my Eyes
    1.69 +
    1.70 + A young woman was heading up a hill to the north of Crystal Tokyo. 
    1.71 +The hill was off grounds for the citizens of Crystal Tokyo. The 
    1.72 +hill was off grounds even for the members of the Royal Family and 
    1.73 +the Senshi. The hill had a concentrated amount of negative energy. 
    1.74 +Many fatal accidents happened here in the recent past, the few 
    1.75 +suicides that were committed in this city of angels were committed 
    1.76 +here.
    1.77 + The hot summer afternoon was already turning into evening but the 
    1.78 +heat was still unbearable. The hands and knees of the young woman 
    1.79 +were bleeding as she fell to the ground more than once - the heat 
    1.80 +and the negative karma taking their toll. And yet she continued 
    1.81 +walking the path that led her to the top. For someone was waiting 
    1.82 +at the top. Someone who has been waiting there for a long time.
    1.83 + Once she had already walked this path in vain. The one atop the 
    1.84 +hill sent her away... But why? They had sworn each other love. But 
    1.85 +that was a long time ago for the one atop the hill. Did she tire of 
    1.86 +waiting? But why is she still up there then? It just doesn't make 
    1.87 +sense...
    1.88 + The young woman's eyes filled with tears each time she thought 
    1.89 +about walking this path down alone _again_. But this time the dark 
    1.90 +beauty on the hill had a promise to keep. She smiled at how easily 
    1.91 +and without thinking she gave away that promise. She couldn't help 
    1.92 +but wonder if she regrets that promise now. Why was it so simple 
    1.93 +then and why is it so hard now? If she walks this path down alone, 
    1.94 +this time she'll at least know why. Although she doubted she'd ever 
    1.95 +get over it.
    1.96 + Her feet were hurting tremendously, her knees were bleeding as 
    1.97 +well as her hands. The sweat from her forehead was dripping into 
    1.98 +her eyes, already sore from her crying. She needed a rest badly. 
    1.99 +She wanted to stop right then and there but something drove her on.
   1.100 + _Again_. She fell to the rocky ground again. Leaving some blood 
   1.101 +and her wish to stop behind she rose to her feet and continued her 
   1.102 +journey through the thorns. For if there was one thing she ever 
   1.103 +learned from her mother it was to have faith in love. And to fight 
   1.104 +for love. Because love _will_ find a way.
   1.105 +
   1.106 +
   1.107 + Part 3
   1.108 + Shot of Love
   1.109 +
   1.110 + There she is. She just scaled the crest and now she's standing 
   1.111 +there as if stricken by lightning. I knew she'd come. That spoiled 
   1.112 +brat. Can't she understand there are certain things she cannot 
   1.113 +have? As soon as I heard she went back I knew she'd come sooner or 
   1.114 +later. When I woke up this morning with this new memories inside my 
   1.115 +head it was as clear as day to me. And the promise. The promise she 
   1.116 +forced out of my 20th century self. But if I'm honest I have to 
   1.117 +admit that she didn't force it. She couldn't do that. She's too 
   1.118 +good to do that. If I had felt in any way unsure about it she 
   1.119 +wouldn't pursue it further. I was so naive then. Then she was only 
   1.120 +my lover. Now she's the princess.
   1.121 + She's still standing there. Watching me. Watching me watching her 
   1.122 +watching me. Her white royal gown with the golden rings over her 
   1.123 +chest. The wind is playing with her pigtails and the ends of her 
   1.124 +dress. Her pigtails are slightly different than her mother's. They 
   1.125 +are a bit puffier at their base and reach only to her knees at 
   1.126 +best. But basically the same impossible hairstyle only the two 
   1.127 +manage to pull off without looking silly. Her arms are hanging 
   1.128 +helplessly at her sides, the golden rings over her chest are being 
   1.129 +lifted and dropped by her heavy breathing. But something is wrong. 
   1.130 +I didn't notice it at first - I admit that her sight entranced me. 
   1.131 +Her dress is stained with blood, her eyes are red. Her hair is in a 
   1.132 +mess, the golden rings aren't perfectly in place... But actually 
   1.133 +they never are. She is probably the messiest princess there ever 
   1.134 +was.
   1.135 + And yet she's so graceful - a sight to behold.
   1.136 + Now she has finally overcome the fear and she's walking up to me. 
   1.137 +Slowly and unsure. The path leading to the top is rocky, but up her 
   1.138 +grass is growing. I stand up; she's right in front of me. How long 
   1.139 +will she be able to meet my gaze like that? Not even a second. She 
   1.140 +fell down on her knees and now her deep crimson eyes full of tears 
   1.141 +are looking anxiously up into mine. I have to be strong - for her.
   1.142 + "I'll keep my promise... I do still love you." Cool and collected. 
   1.143 +I'm sorry... "But that doesn't matter. You mustn't love me!"
   1.144 + "Wha- What are you saying?"
   1.145 + "You will become the Queen of Crystal Tokyo one day. You have 
   1.146 +obligations too keep. For one thing you have to have heirs."
   1.147 + "I don't care if... if our love is fruitless."
   1.148 + "No! You are already spoken for. Your marriage date with Prince 
   1.149 +Helios is all but set!"
   1.150 + "That's not true! I don't love him!"
   1.151 + Can't she understand? I sit down in front of her, her eyes still 
   1.152 +fixed on mine. "You are the future queen! You cannot love another 
   1.153 +woman." This was the final blow. Needless to say I stressed each 
   1.154 +word to make sure she'd understand. Now it's over. I always thought 
   1.155 +I'd be relieved when I finally close this book. Anyway, now I can 
   1.156 +go on with my life and find myself a girl with pink pigtails to 
   1.157 +remind me of her. Maybe I'll even manage to love her through the 
   1.158 +course of time.
   1.159 + Her face convulsed in a childlike manner when she heard these 
   1.160 +words and she slumped down into my lap. I feel the fabric of my 
   1.161 +dress soaking up her tears. I feel her heavy ragged breathing 
   1.162 +against it. I can _feel_ her... For the first time in almost a 
   1.163 +thousand years I can feel her again. I haven't realized how much I 
   1.164 +missed the feeling of her hair between my fingers. I take a deep 
   1.165 +breath to inhale her calming scent. Just like I remember it.
   1.166 + She's unlike any other person I ever met. I fail every time I try 
   1.167 +to describe her. Angel. That is the only word that comes close. Yet 
   1.168 +it doesn't touch her essence. It only manages to scratch the 
   1.169 +surface. She's so much more.
   1.170 + I can hear her words, but they come to me from a distance.
   1.171 + "But I do love you. And I couldn't live without your love..."
   1.172 + "Why? Why don't you just let go?"
   1.173 + I can feel her arms tighten around my waist as she speaks into my 
   1.174 +dress.
   1.175 + "I love you Hotaru-chan... I love you, I want to marry you, I want 
   1.176 +to spend the rest of eternity with you."
   1.177 + At this point she raises her head and looks into my eyes. And when 
   1.178 +is see her eyes now - for the first time so clearly - I know she 
   1.179 +didn't lie. If I would send her away she would wither away like a 
   1.180 +flower without water. She needs love as much as other people need 
   1.181 +air.
   1.182 + Now I understand.
   1.183 +
   1.184 +
   1.185 + Epilogue
   1.186 + Series of Dreams
   1.187 +
   1.188 + "ChibiUsa, how is this possible?"
   1.189 + ChibiUsa. Nobody except her calls me that any more. I guess I'm 
   1.190 +not that chibi any more.
   1.191 + "Sit down over here, ChibiUsa." She steers me into that oversized 
   1.192 +armchair we sometimes spend the evening cuddling in. She sits down 
   1.193 +opposite to me on a chair and pierces her eyes into mine.
   1.194 + "Listen carefully, ChibiUsa. You are a woman. I am a woman. You 
   1.195 +can't possibly be pregnant from me." She treats me as if I had some 
   1.196 +kind of a disease or something. But she never doubts my loyalty to 
   1.197 +her.
   1.198 + "I think it was the Ginzuishu."
   1.199 + "...I don't understand." Of course she doesn't, I can see it in 
   1.200 +her eyes. She's so cute when she doesn't understand.
   1.201 + "A few weeks ago it was glowing slightly when I woke up in the 
   1.202 +morning. It was so subtle that I didn't know if it was for real or 
   1.203 +were my eyes just playing tricks on me. I'm sure it happened that 
   1.204 +night." A few moment pass before a tear trickles down her face. A 
   1.205 +tear of joy surely because she's smiling. She reaches out her left 
   1.206 +hand and touches my cheek. Oh, I didn't know I was crying also. You 
   1.207 +always do that to me. Around you I always forget about myself. She 
   1.208 +sits down beside me in our armchair and kisses my bare shoulder.
   1.209 + "Hotaru-chan, I'm already pregnant. You don't have to make 
   1.210 +passionate love to me."
   1.211 + "I love you, ChibiUsa."
   1.212 + "I love you too, Hotaru."
   1.213 +
   1.214 +
   1.215 +
   1.216 +The End
   1.217 +
   1.218 +
   1.219 +The titles for each part are titles of Bob Dylan songs. I don't own 
   1.220 +the copyright to them as well as I don't own the copyright for 
   1.221 +Sailor Moon.
   1.222 +
   1.223 +Peter Dobaj
   1.224 +The Ghost of 'lectricity
   1.225 +lectricity@email.si